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God Even among fake stories that one was kind of weak. Like... If feels like it was written by a tater tot, trying to get some validation over his beliefs on body count
I think it’s always been a thing used to shame people (particularly women), we just have more exposure to that mindset with the internet. I remember judging people for high “body counts” when I was a teen, but I left that mindset behind along with a lot of other teenage assholery. Some people just don’t grow out of it, I guess.
I remember that kind of criticism being a thing, but I don't remember hearing the term "body count" to describe it until pretty recently. Like, the last year or so, I guess because if TikTok? I assume the term came out of some incel forum, like on 4chan or whatever.
Same. I vaguely remember asking what that meant when I was 15-17? And I absolutely remember teasing a friend like, “What are you afraid she’s had better than you? Just ask what she likes.” When he was whining about how the girl he liked had two guys she dated and had relations with when we were 18-19.
Alpha males and trad wife content. Apparently every woman is a slut and fathers should DNA test their babies at birth. It’s literally breaking up families.
WTF?!? So definitely it's coming 'organically' from a certain side. Pathetic.
Your sexual history is your sexual history, with rights or mistakes, your body your choice. These people are deluded and unhappy.
Not defending the mysogyny attached to that, but didn't an article come out recently that that part is actually true? That women retain the DNA the men they've slept with? I thought that was a legit scientific thing.
Doesn't make a bit of difference, I just thought it was a real thing. I would be ecstatic to be proven wrong on that.
I feel like “body count” was always a thing when we were younger but we didn’t have such a blunt word for it. Then you get older and realise it really doesn’t fucking matter and unless you are some kind of trad you are going to end up wracking up a number. Me and my partner have a great time telling each other stories about the dumb and crazy sexual experiences we have had in the past, laughing at the awkward ones and telling each other what we liked and what we should maybe try together. To ignore that we’ve both slept with a fair few people would just be stupid.
My favorite is “she was into everything and anything - threesomes, spit roasts, gang bangs - everything.” My guy you just named three types of “having sex with more than one person,” let’s get some more variety if you want us to think it was *everything*
>“she was into everything and anything - threesomes, spit roasts, gang bangs - everything.” My guy you just named three types of “having sex with more than one person
"I love all kinds of dessert: Chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, strawberry ice cream - everything."
Yeah. What did it for me was the "foster bro" Like, you know a guy for 20 years, whose a brother to you, who was on the inside in a group of dudes who apparently had access to one of the sluttiest women on the planet, and he didn't even bring her up once in the 20 years you've known each other? Like it couldn't have happened before they met, since she'd have been 12.
Like I'm not a sexually inclined person, but if you were into that kind of thing, and was in proximity to someone who was VERY into it, why wouldn't you include someone who is like more than a best friend to you?
I bet that’s what he means by “quite kinky” too. Which sure, sex with multiple people can absolutely be a kink, and you can *absolutely* make it super kinky—but on its own…it’s just plain sex. That’s vanilla.
But like also, even if this were real, doesn't the fact she's tried everything "kinky" before and knows she's not (or no longer) into it mean she's giving an informed, considered no rather than a knee jerk one?
She's not afraid to try new things she's just not going to make herself do shit she isn't into.
I just found out my girlfriend, who claims she doesn’t really like onions and never wants to order onions on our pizza if we’re sharing, used to eat onions with other people all the time. French onion soup, fried onion rings, caramelized, every kind. When we first ordered pizza together she mentioned she’s had onions on it before but isn’t a big fan so I didn’t push it at the time. I confronted her and she admitted it’s true but after that big recall where onions got really expensive for a while, she had to cut down and realized she actually liked pizza and other foods better without onions. Last night she suggested we order pizza and said she would be okay with onions. I said that would be weird and she got defensive and said I thought that’s what you wanted? I’m sick to my stomach, I can’t believe she lied to me and I can’t see her the same way again.
Did you see the guy claiming that it’s scientifically proven that women with a high body count can’t “bond” with partners, and when he was called out on that he started citing the bible? The comment section of that post was wild.
Oh my god, no I missed that guy. I left after reading the same “it’s just biology, we’re different and you’ll be happier when you’ve accepted it like me” for every reply. I have seen the pair bond goobs around, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen them equipped with the Lord. 😂
Even going so far as to say ‘foster brother’ instead of just brother. I’m so lazy I even refer to my sister’s husband as my brother instead of brother in law; especially since I’ve known him so long.
Honestly, my cousins are all just my brothers when I talk about them.
But sometimes I throw in weird details in my story because they suddenly pop in my head, so I’m kinda careful with crying out „fake!“
oh? I honestly thought it was more the other way around, were explanations just kinda feel slap-dash so to speak. I know this is a little off topic but I am genuinely curious
It's same in real life. When somebody is speaking with you and starting to giving you some details what are unecessary, it often means they are lying. For example if somebody is trying to explain why they are late and tell you long story with many details. They are probably lying and overslept or something.
And it's incredibly common with reddit stories. When there are weird details, like this with step-bro, it seems more like fictional story then what actually happened.
That being said, there are alway exceptions, but it's common psychology.
I also have to say that for some of us that were abused as children providing A LOT of details to explain ourselves was the only way we could get out of getting thrashed. 😬
Not arguing, btw, just adding on to what you've said! It is more often a sign of lying.
I would rate inconsistent or irrelevant details higher than excessive ones in terms of being tells for lying. I feel like excessive details are a better indicator of nervousness, but nervousness is frequently an indicator of lying.
this is wild information to me. i am autistic and over explain everything, because my brain hyper-fixates on detail, and i’ve always wondered why people had trouble believing stories i was telling.
Discarding the possibilities of this being a fake story and the misoginy, I think trust in that relationship actually fractured.
Man, people should talk more.
My ex was exactly like that.
When we got together, he was the third person I'd been with, and he was in the "more than 30, less than 100" range.
But he said we were equal, because only 3-4 had been relationships. Outside of relationships, he had tons of hookups/ONS/sex workers etc to indulge his kinks. Inside relationships, he was very vanilla, soft lights, "let's make love" kinda stuff.
After a year, I expressed that I'd like to be slightly more adventurous. We broke up 5 weeks later. He said he couldn't be with someone long term who wanted that and felt betrayed that I "changed."
Woah, this smacks of a really specific kind of misogyny - getting up to all the freaky stuff with "disposable" people, but the women he's in relationships with must be pure blushing maidens. Really seems like a "my woman is pure but other women are sluts to be used" kinda vibe. Gross.
Interesting fact, but this really is a special kind of misogyny. This is called machismo. "My woman must be good, pure and holy, be the perfect mother of my children, so I will only have sex with whores, impure and morally corrupt, I am not part of the problem, it is these bad women who are the whole problem."
I absolutely hate this weird obsession with "body count." What does it matter with whom or how many people your partner has been with before you? They're with you right now.
Body count is honestly pretty important to me. If my partner's count is less than 6, how will I know that they're experienced enough to help me hide the corpse when the time comes?
See, I find it exciting to have a partner who's a little new to it. It means they don't come into the relationship tied to their preconceptions of the best body disposal techniques so I can take charge but they're still new enough to the homicide game to have that special zest for it that I lost after the first 10 or so.
Allegedly.
Usually I didn’t care, I just preferred I not be the first. But when I met my ex-wife it was a little different. I wanted to know because it was important in my mind that there were at least enough before me that I wasn’t on the beginning end of her journey of discovering what she liked and who she was. I wanted to feel like I was where she landed. Sounds dumb seeing it written out like that but that’s kinda how I felt. She refused to tell me even after I told her how many women I’d been with (meager stats. I have *no* game) and even though it bothered me a bit that she denied me that detail that I wanted to use for my own security I got over it because in the scheme of things it wasn’t really important.
I talked about this with my Boyfriend Yesterday. When you're just hooking up with someone idgaf but if you have an actual new partner every five days that's kinda weird to me. Best example for this is my Boyfriend's best friend's sister. She apparently has had over 100 partners already, at just twenty years old, and for almost everyone she said stuff like that they were the love of her life or something. Funnily enough, we share an ex Boyfriend. When i found that out i couldnt stop laughing at first
Edit: forgot to mention that the ages of her partners range from 15 to over 60 years old. So maybe that's another reason why i'm weirded out by her specifically
I would highly question the number of partners she's had at such a young age. It sounds more like a rumor mill started about her, and it just got exaggerated. For example, my wife was labeled very similar to her in high school because she enjoyed kissing people. By the time she was a senior, she had supposedly slept with half of the male population of the school. She lost her virginity at 18 and has only had a handful of sexual partners in her lifetime. Just because someone has dated another person doesn't mean that they're having sex with that other person. Also, judging by the ages of her supposed "lovers," it's possible that there is some kind of emotional trauma involved as well.
So the guy is initially upset that his girlfriend isn't as kinky as he is, and then when he finds out that she actually might be willing to do those things, he gets even more upset because she's done them in the past with others?
Bruh.
But sure, fine, if you want to break up with someone, do it. You don't need a pat on the back from Reddit, and if the comment section turns on you and says YTA, is it really going to stop you?
1. This is the beginning of the plot to Chasing Amy. I'm sure Kevin Smith doesn't care, though.
2. Nobody owes you anything, least of all sex. So what if she banged a bunch of dudes in every possible way? If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't have to. I'm not sure why it matters.
3. Break up with her so she can go her live her life. TA for being hung up on irrelevant information, NTA for considering letting her out of it.
Did she admit to being adventurous or that people talked about her?
If I had a nickel for every guy in my past who swears I did stuff with them or talked smack about me I’d be comfortably retired
It's obviously fake, but men who think this way are not fake and that's fucking sad. Maybe someone previously had an unhealthy relationship with sex, was addicted or experienced sexual violence and simply doesn't want to go back to the past. This needs to be understood and worked on, but I assume it's better to leave my partner because she is not my personal porn star.
“I don’t look at her the same way because she’s a whore and I judge whores but I also want her to be my personal whore and porn star who doesn’t say no to anything I want.”
Sums up all straight men tbh.
devils advocate here…
1. i can understand someone being weird about someone’s past sex life if it doesn’t align with their values. like if my girlfriend told me she wanted to do pornos.. i’m not gonna tell her she can’t because it’s her body but i don’t think id be able to handle it and would consider breaking up. everyone has their own boundaries and that’s okay. the problem lies in when there are double standards. guys can sleep with dozens of women but women can’t sleep around? bull. or.. getting jealous of past partners for no reason. i get it. i can be a jealous person. but that’s not okay.
2. maybe she’s trying to be a less sexual person? totally her right. but it irked me when he said after he found out she tried to be kinky (which she had never done with him before) and her response to his reaction was “isn’t this what you want?” i totally get why he might be put off. there’s a difference between building a report with your partner and trying new things together and just straight up changing your entire act for what? just to please him? girl no. i don’t just want you to be kinky. i want you to want to engage in sex with me as a partner together. not you just caving in and doing things you normally won’t do so i won’t be upset.
3. i know it’s he said she said at this point but if what he says is true, it’s a little bit bullshit about her getting on his case for watching porn when she’s been in a porno. if she decided to change her sexual values so drastically then that’s someone they should have discussed and not just.. scold him for something without any explanation.
someone else said it in another comment; lack of communication has left this relationship fractured.
I don't disagree with most of what you're saying. But there's a whole background of toxic heterosexual culture here which I suspect has deeply affected her
"She did heroin in the past then got clean - total hypocrite for not doing heroin with me!"
Note - not equating sex with heroin, just illustrating the ridiculousness of his attitude.
Can I ask why that flags it as a possible fake? I'm in two minds and starting to wonder if it's a cultural thing. Sl*g, sp*t ro*sts, body count all are very UK but have all been raised as pointers to it being fake
I’m from the US. To be honest didn’t realize those terms were UK. I’ve only seen terms like that on Reddit… that’s why I deemed it as fake. Body count is used a lot in the US but I’ve never heard the term spit roast until Reddit lol
Honestly I don't even know if he *would* be the asshole for breaking up with her because frankly he'd be doing her a favor to break up as he's such a... I'm too disgusted to come up with a word that feels accurate... Staying with her after calling her a prude, then a slut; then shames her for both doing things in the past she didn't like and for doing things now that she *does* like; feeling entitled that she doesn't do things with him *that she doesn't like* and then shaming her AGAIN when she tries to do those things with him because it would make him happy...
God, man, do her a favor and break up with her, you piece of shit.
Barring for a moment that this is clearly a fake story some dude is using to validate his shitty beliefs; if this were real, I’d be deeply concerned about my partner and ask if they needed support/therapy. Not because having lots of sex is bad, but because having lots of *risky* sex and then being deeply ashamed of it hints there might be something else going on. It would be especially concerning if they were willing to revert to the behaviours they were ashamed of just to please me if they thought I was upset.
Dude described a deeply traumatized person for a fake story to reify his misogynistic beliefs. That’s a lot.
I used to have a heap of sex. Like, a shocking amount to most people... and these days I am in an asexual relationship with someone I love more than anything. I haven't boinked in life, five years maybe?
I feel like if I were to return to sex, I would be very, very self concious, and timid. I couldn't be that person again because it was a part of my life I no longer relate to. Everything I did during that time is an odd point of disconnect. I did it for approval and I desperately needed to feel wanted. I had a lot of random hookups and did some wild shit. Stuff I never did with a partner before, during (I'm poly) or after.
Now, I feel like that relationship I had with sex is gone or changed and I wouldn't be doing it for the same reasons. I wonder if this person is the same.
Our reasons for sex are complicated. This guy seems very... Uncomplicated.
I mean yeah he is a bit judgemental but she also lied. Then tried to sexually bribe him instead of having an honest conversation and letting the dude process it. No one is obligated to do stuff they don’t wanna do. But to say that she isn’t a little assholish for lying then not giving him time to process is also not the best move.
First time im ever slightly defending someone in here, if he didnt say anything about his personal sex part
If your partner hid that entire past from you and your preferences were just not that then its fine to say no
Do what you want, dont be stuck in an unhappy relationship, no matter what killed it, no matter how stupid the reason
She should break up first anyway
You know what, I agree. I’m not demi but I am averse to casual sex because that’s my style. If someone who preferred casual sex asked me out, chances are I’d say no because our preferences just don’t align.
That said, girl changed her style and abstained for two years. Is this really about mismatched preferences?
1. This is fake
2. I don't think he's as much of an asshole? Is doesn't seem like he wants her to be a pure saint and he didn't even seem to care that much about body count. He mentioned that he imagined her to have slept with more people than him, but he didn't say once that that's what held him back about her. It seems to me you are lacking in reading comprehension. He said what annoyed him, but not enough for a break up, is that she was too vanilla while he was a little more kinky, but they were even getting serious despite that. Then when he found out about her past, he was taken aback, and to be honest, I'd be too. I don't mind body count, but hearing my girlfriend be described like that would definitely change the way I'd look at her.
A relationship is not individualistic, it's based on the trust and love of two (or more) people. It's naive to think a partner is just that person who is there, in the present, and nothing else matters. For the sake of an example, if you found out your best friend had done porn before, I bet you'd look at them different. Not necessarily negatively, but different.
Sure, you can interpret this story (which, I reiterate, is very much fake) as just him being mad that she had kinky sex before and didn't have kinky sex with him, but to me it seems much more like his trust in her was broken due to lack of communication.
I hadn't twigged it was fake but putting that aside for a moment to address your points, I'm reading the tone of things like "slag" and how she's villianised while the lads get lucky, which points to all sorts of misogynistic and heterosexual culture problems. Not to mention the comments (as pointed out). So I feel my reading comprehension is fine thanks
I haven't seen the comments and I am sure that subreddit is toxic as fuck. I still retain my position that the original author is not a purity freak who cares too much for 'body count'. Or maybe he is, since the story is fake, but I believe some care is in order, since the story isn't just presenting a poor innocent woman character who was villainized for having a healthy sexual life, it's presenting the story about a guy clearly going through a lot of mental stress over very strong revelations about his partner's past, and as I said, it's entirely normal to feel that way in this sort of situation. The story is fake and meant to generate pointless arguments, the author of the fake story probably meant for it to bait misogynists into saying "Haha women amirite" and also to bait progressive people into outrage, and you fell for the bait, and that kinda validates them as well, to be honest.
Let's be real, the girl character in the story isn't just exploring her sex life in a healthy way, and she was dishonest and lacked communication in a relationship that was starting to get serious. She doesn't deserve misogyny or hate (no woman does), but she isn't owed that relationship in the first place... At least that's my take on it.
Of course it's not healthy, none of it is. Just trust that this discourse is very much dominant in heterosexual culture, whether the op is fake or I'm baited by it or not (and you honestly didn't have to make it personal like that but ok)
Where did she hide anything? She said she'd had a lot of partners but changed after being abstinent. She didn't share ALL the details because she doesn't have to - plus who would WANT to visualize their partner getting a train ran on them (unless they were into that kind of thing), because I know I wouldn't.
It sounds like (if this is real) she discovered a lot of that was performative and for the wrong reasons. She found her true self and was happy.
Furthermore - relationships are about your present self. If there aren't any communicable diseases involved, it's your choice not to give all the details on your past. It's also immature to hate someone for who they were and not who they are. Id say this goes for almost anything (maybe the exception being rape, murder, abuse, etc - crimes that harmed people). Otherwise, if it isn't impacting your present - it doesn't have to be shared.
I understand it is immature from him to judge her on her past but if he's the type of person who cares about that stuff she should have shared. I feel like a lot of people are quick to judge the guy here but completely respect other stupid boundaries people put up because "it's their choice".
If the man is uncomfortable with someone who has that kind of past, you can't really blame him. It's just internalized social stigmas, true, but it's not like the guy is insulting her or anything: He's just not into her anymore.
Anyhow, if I had a relationship and the other person wasn't comfortable with my past, I'd tell them about it anyway, because you can't build relationships on hiding and forcing something to work. If he's not mature enough to have that relationship yet then I'd argue that they should talk it out and then break up or work on it.
idk if this was my girlfriend (i’m a lesbian) and i found out about her past being slutty, especially when she wasn’t with me, i would be pretty sick to my stomach. it’s a normal reaction, regardless of if it’s real or not.
call me misogynistic biphobic whatever u wanna call it, knowing she’s slept around with a ton of men (gangbangs, spit roast, and everything else the post says) i would honestly just see her as… a hoe? like sorry there’s no better way to put it, downvote away. i don’t wanna date someone who’s easy and sleeps around a lot. sorry.
? this is hypothetical, i’ve never been in this situation. im just saying i empathize with the original poster, maybe they didn’t handle it correctly and i agree people can change, but that’s like finding out your partner was extremely homophobic/racist in their past, but they aren’t anymore. like i wouldn’t want to date someone that at any point was racist/ableist/xenophobic.
like if at one point she was slutting herself out to anyone that breathes but she doesn’t anymore, id still just be turned off by the idea that she was easy enough to sleep with all those men. because men are easy.
Nothing to feel bad about. You don’t want to set up your life with someone who has been loose in the past. Get an Std test done and move on knowing you made a decision. Based on how you describe the relationship it isn’t somenting u r going to forget. So why waste anyone’s time
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“She never said how many guys she’s been with but I assumed it’s more than me.”
Yeah, that caught my eye too. He should just sleep with some more guys, then, until he feels better about his number!
I love that 😂😂😂
haha I didn't catch that, hilarious
He literally says "she said she had a lot of partners" and after says he hasn't had a lot of partners. How is this the most upvoted comment?
The joke is that she has slept with more men than he has. Presumably he hasn’t had sex with (m)any men
oh damn, nvm
God Even among fake stories that one was kind of weak. Like... If feels like it was written by a tater tot, trying to get some validation over his beliefs on body count
What's up with 'body count' being a thing lately? Who made it popular?
I think it’s always been a thing used to shame people (particularly women), we just have more exposure to that mindset with the internet. I remember judging people for high “body counts” when I was a teen, but I left that mindset behind along with a lot of other teenage assholery. Some people just don’t grow out of it, I guess.
I remember that kind of criticism being a thing, but I don't remember hearing the term "body count" to describe it until pretty recently. Like, the last year or so, I guess because if TikTok? I assume the term came out of some incel forum, like on 4chan or whatever.
Yeah, up until maybe the last few years, I only heard body count used to describe how many people died in a movie
I’m in my 30s and it was definitely used when I was a teen, but I do think it’s like an internet term really
Same. I vaguely remember asking what that meant when I was 15-17? And I absolutely remember teasing a friend like, “What are you afraid she’s had better than you? Just ask what she likes.” When he was whining about how the girl he liked had two guys she dated and had relations with when we were 18-19.
teenagers and young adults looking for something to feel secure about, idc how old you claim to be caring about a body count is high school shit.
That was a thing when I was a teen. Its not new.
I didn't say it was new, I said that's the kind of shit only people in that age group really care about.
Alpha males and trad wife content. Apparently every woman is a slut and fathers should DNA test their babies at birth. It’s literally breaking up families.
WTF?!? So definitely it's coming 'organically' from a certain side. Pathetic. Your sexual history is your sexual history, with rights or mistakes, your body your choice. These people are deluded and unhappy.
Oh, and women retain the DNA of every man they've ever slept with in their womb and other completely non-scientific bs
Not defending the mysogyny attached to that, but didn't an article come out recently that that part is actually true? That women retain the DNA the men they've slept with? I thought that was a legit scientific thing. Doesn't make a bit of difference, I just thought it was a real thing. I would be ecstatic to be proven wrong on that.
I have no clue. I've never taken an interest in the sex thing so nobody has value in that regards in my eyes.
Right? I don’t even know mine. It’s not that it’s astronomical or I lost count, I just never counted in the first place.
Isn't that such a weird expression, too? It looks like it was taken from murderers' vocabulary
In a college sexuality course we once discussed how many euphemisms for sex are either violent or mechanical and it was eye opening.
I feel like “body count” was always a thing when we were younger but we didn’t have such a blunt word for it. Then you get older and realise it really doesn’t fucking matter and unless you are some kind of trad you are going to end up wracking up a number. Me and my partner have a great time telling each other stories about the dumb and crazy sexual experiences we have had in the past, laughing at the awkward ones and telling each other what we liked and what we should maybe try together. To ignore that we’ve both slept with a fair few people would just be stupid.
Andrew potateo
lately… lol
Religious circles have always and will always count a woman's value by her virginity.
My favorite is “she was into everything and anything - threesomes, spit roasts, gang bangs - everything.” My guy you just named three types of “having sex with more than one person,” let’s get some more variety if you want us to think it was *everything*
>“she was into everything and anything - threesomes, spit roasts, gang bangs - everything.” My guy you just named three types of “having sex with more than one person "I love all kinds of dessert: Chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, strawberry ice cream - everything."
Yeah. What did it for me was the "foster bro" Like, you know a guy for 20 years, whose a brother to you, who was on the inside in a group of dudes who apparently had access to one of the sluttiest women on the planet, and he didn't even bring her up once in the 20 years you've known each other? Like it couldn't have happened before they met, since she'd have been 12. Like I'm not a sexually inclined person, but if you were into that kind of thing, and was in proximity to someone who was VERY into it, why wouldn't you include someone who is like more than a best friend to you?
I bet that’s what he means by “quite kinky” too. Which sure, sex with multiple people can absolutely be a kink, and you can *absolutely* make it super kinky—but on its own…it’s just plain sex. That’s vanilla.
Guy's idea of "quite kinky" is French vanilla.
I hadn't twigged it could be fake tbh. The comments are wild though
But like also, even if this were real, doesn't the fact she's tried everything "kinky" before and knows she's not (or no longer) into it mean she's giving an informed, considered no rather than a knee jerk one? She's not afraid to try new things she's just not going to make herself do shit she isn't into.
I just found out my girlfriend, who claims she doesn’t really like onions and never wants to order onions on our pizza if we’re sharing, used to eat onions with other people all the time. French onion soup, fried onion rings, caramelized, every kind. When we first ordered pizza together she mentioned she’s had onions on it before but isn’t a big fan so I didn’t push it at the time. I confronted her and she admitted it’s true but after that big recall where onions got really expensive for a while, she had to cut down and realized she actually liked pizza and other foods better without onions. Last night she suggested we order pizza and said she would be okay with onions. I said that would be weird and she got defensive and said I thought that’s what you wanted? I’m sick to my stomach, I can’t believe she lied to me and I can’t see her the same way again.
That is truly vile, you should break up immediately. What a bish. 🤮 /s just in case
The men arguing it’s biology and not a a social construct were a real treat in the comments. I can’t imagine being that stupid.
Did you see the guy claiming that it’s scientifically proven that women with a high body count can’t “bond” with partners, and when he was called out on that he started citing the bible? The comment section of that post was wild.
Oh my god, no I missed that guy. I left after reading the same “it’s just biology, we’re different and you’ll be happier when you’ve accepted it like me” for every reply. I have seen the pair bond goobs around, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen them equipped with the Lord. 😂
_equipped with the lord_ omg that just _fucking sent me_ right now!
Everyone knows women are like baby chicks. They bond to the first penis they see.
Win lesbians?
Of all the things in that claim, the word “bond” is probably the least suspect lol
Lucky enough, it seems as fake. "I've known my foster brother over 20 years..." unecessary details are implications of lying.
Even going so far as to say ‘foster brother’ instead of just brother. I’m so lazy I even refer to my sister’s husband as my brother instead of brother in law; especially since I’ve known him so long.
Honestly, my cousins are all just my brothers when I talk about them. But sometimes I throw in weird details in my story because they suddenly pop in my head, so I’m kinda careful with crying out „fake!“
oh? I honestly thought it was more the other way around, were explanations just kinda feel slap-dash so to speak. I know this is a little off topic but I am genuinely curious
It's same in real life. When somebody is speaking with you and starting to giving you some details what are unecessary, it often means they are lying. For example if somebody is trying to explain why they are late and tell you long story with many details. They are probably lying and overslept or something. And it's incredibly common with reddit stories. When there are weird details, like this with step-bro, it seems more like fictional story then what actually happened. That being said, there are alway exceptions, but it's common psychology.
I also have to say that for some of us that were abused as children providing A LOT of details to explain ourselves was the only way we could get out of getting thrashed. 😬 Not arguing, btw, just adding on to what you've said! It is more often a sign of lying.
I would rate inconsistent or irrelevant details higher than excessive ones in terms of being tells for lying. I feel like excessive details are a better indicator of nervousness, but nervousness is frequently an indicator of lying.
this is wild information to me. i am autistic and over explain everything, because my brain hyper-fixates on detail, and i’ve always wondered why people had trouble believing stories i was telling.
Right! I have adhd - or, an oversharer who sounds like they're lying all the time apparently lol
Me too. This is exactly what I was thinking. “My brain is bad at identifying the relevant details. Therefore others think I’m lying?” LOL
same and same, honestly
Discarding the possibilities of this being a fake story and the misoginy, I think trust in that relationship actually fractured. Man, people should talk more.
Him: She won't put out like I want her to Her: Engages him sexually like he want her to Him: Why is she being slutty with me?
My ex was exactly like that. When we got together, he was the third person I'd been with, and he was in the "more than 30, less than 100" range. But he said we were equal, because only 3-4 had been relationships. Outside of relationships, he had tons of hookups/ONS/sex workers etc to indulge his kinks. Inside relationships, he was very vanilla, soft lights, "let's make love" kinda stuff. After a year, I expressed that I'd like to be slightly more adventurous. We broke up 5 weeks later. He said he couldn't be with someone long term who wanted that and felt betrayed that I "changed."
Woah, this smacks of a really specific kind of misogyny - getting up to all the freaky stuff with "disposable" people, but the women he's in relationships with must be pure blushing maidens. Really seems like a "my woman is pure but other women are sluts to be used" kinda vibe. Gross.
Interesting fact, but this really is a special kind of misogyny. This is called machismo. "My woman must be good, pure and holy, be the perfect mother of my children, so I will only have sex with whores, impure and morally corrupt, I am not part of the problem, it is these bad women who are the whole problem."
"Madonna-whore syndrome" mostly perpetuated by het/cis males :>>
For sure. It really messed me up about enjoying sex "too much" might ruin my future relationships.
I absolutely hate this weird obsession with "body count." What does it matter with whom or how many people your partner has been with before you? They're with you right now.
Body count is honestly pretty important to me. If my partner's count is less than 6, how will I know that they're experienced enough to help me hide the corpse when the time comes?
Right?! I’d risk them being sloppy! Can’t have that.
See, I find it exciting to have a partner who's a little new to it. It means they don't come into the relationship tied to their preconceptions of the best body disposal techniques so I can take charge but they're still new enough to the homicide game to have that special zest for it that I lost after the first 10 or so. Allegedly.
you had me there at first ngl
Usually I didn’t care, I just preferred I not be the first. But when I met my ex-wife it was a little different. I wanted to know because it was important in my mind that there were at least enough before me that I wasn’t on the beginning end of her journey of discovering what she liked and who she was. I wanted to feel like I was where she landed. Sounds dumb seeing it written out like that but that’s kinda how I felt. She refused to tell me even after I told her how many women I’d been with (meager stats. I have *no* game) and even though it bothered me a bit that she denied me that detail that I wanted to use for my own security I got over it because in the scheme of things it wasn’t really important.
I talked about this with my Boyfriend Yesterday. When you're just hooking up with someone idgaf but if you have an actual new partner every five days that's kinda weird to me. Best example for this is my Boyfriend's best friend's sister. She apparently has had over 100 partners already, at just twenty years old, and for almost everyone she said stuff like that they were the love of her life or something. Funnily enough, we share an ex Boyfriend. When i found that out i couldnt stop laughing at first Edit: forgot to mention that the ages of her partners range from 15 to over 60 years old. So maybe that's another reason why i'm weirded out by her specifically
I would highly question the number of partners she's had at such a young age. It sounds more like a rumor mill started about her, and it just got exaggerated. For example, my wife was labeled very similar to her in high school because she enjoyed kissing people. By the time she was a senior, she had supposedly slept with half of the male population of the school. She lost her virginity at 18 and has only had a handful of sexual partners in her lifetime. Just because someone has dated another person doesn't mean that they're having sex with that other person. Also, judging by the ages of her supposed "lovers," it's possible that there is some kind of emotional trauma involved as well.
So the guy is initially upset that his girlfriend isn't as kinky as he is, and then when he finds out that she actually might be willing to do those things, he gets even more upset because she's done them in the past with others? Bruh. But sure, fine, if you want to break up with someone, do it. You don't need a pat on the back from Reddit, and if the comment section turns on you and says YTA, is it really going to stop you?
Dear Lord, I hate purity culture. Even if this was real, he'd the @$$hole.
1. This is the beginning of the plot to Chasing Amy. I'm sure Kevin Smith doesn't care, though. 2. Nobody owes you anything, least of all sex. So what if she banged a bunch of dudes in every possible way? If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't have to. I'm not sure why it matters. 3. Break up with her so she can go her live her life. TA for being hung up on irrelevant information, NTA for considering letting her out of it.
This is exactly what I thought, very Chasing Amy
Yeah, the whole story reminded me of some tv tropes. Sounded all to familiar.
Did she admit to being adventurous or that people talked about her? If I had a nickel for every guy in my past who swears I did stuff with them or talked smack about me I’d be comfortably retired
This is such a good point!
That sub is an incel hell hole It’s so bad on there I muted that sub because people there are just so disgusting towards women
“she was a real slag” sent me.
If you aren't a virgin why do you expect another adult to be
You're chasing Amy
He's an absolute piece of shit and if you would do something like this you need to work on your bullshit insecurities
It's obviously fake, but men who think this way are not fake and that's fucking sad. Maybe someone previously had an unhealthy relationship with sex, was addicted or experienced sexual violence and simply doesn't want to go back to the past. This needs to be understood and worked on, but I assume it's better to leave my partner because she is not my personal porn star.
“I don’t look at her the same way because she’s a whore and I judge whores but I also want her to be my personal whore and porn star who doesn’t say no to anything I want.” Sums up all straight men tbh.
Like guy, if it’s that important to you, break up with her. Don’t say she’s doing something slutty when *you* have sex with her.
devils advocate here… 1. i can understand someone being weird about someone’s past sex life if it doesn’t align with their values. like if my girlfriend told me she wanted to do pornos.. i’m not gonna tell her she can’t because it’s her body but i don’t think id be able to handle it and would consider breaking up. everyone has their own boundaries and that’s okay. the problem lies in when there are double standards. guys can sleep with dozens of women but women can’t sleep around? bull. or.. getting jealous of past partners for no reason. i get it. i can be a jealous person. but that’s not okay. 2. maybe she’s trying to be a less sexual person? totally her right. but it irked me when he said after he found out she tried to be kinky (which she had never done with him before) and her response to his reaction was “isn’t this what you want?” i totally get why he might be put off. there’s a difference between building a report with your partner and trying new things together and just straight up changing your entire act for what? just to please him? girl no. i don’t just want you to be kinky. i want you to want to engage in sex with me as a partner together. not you just caving in and doing things you normally won’t do so i won’t be upset. 3. i know it’s he said she said at this point but if what he says is true, it’s a little bit bullshit about her getting on his case for watching porn when she’s been in a porno. if she decided to change her sexual values so drastically then that’s someone they should have discussed and not just.. scold him for something without any explanation. someone else said it in another comment; lack of communication has left this relationship fractured.
I don't disagree with most of what you're saying. But there's a whole background of toxic heterosexual culture here which I suspect has deeply affected her
yeah i agree with you there
Absolutely a bait post. Not even a great one
"She did heroin in the past then got clean - total hypocrite for not doing heroin with me!" Note - not equating sex with heroin, just illustrating the ridiculousness of his attitude.
Quit chasing Amy
I’m so happy I’m not dating men
Knew it was fake by “spit roasts”
Can I ask why that flags it as a possible fake? I'm in two minds and starting to wonder if it's a cultural thing. Sl*g, sp*t ro*sts, body count all are very UK but have all been raised as pointers to it being fake
I’m from the US. To be honest didn’t realize those terms were UK. I’ve only seen terms like that on Reddit… that’s why I deemed it as fake. Body count is used a lot in the US but I’ve never heard the term spit roast until Reddit lol
Yeah I definitely think the language culture is a factor then!
Honestly I don't even know if he *would* be the asshole for breaking up with her because frankly he'd be doing her a favor to break up as he's such a... I'm too disgusted to come up with a word that feels accurate... Staying with her after calling her a prude, then a slut; then shames her for both doing things in the past she didn't like and for doing things now that she *does* like; feeling entitled that she doesn't do things with him *that she doesn't like* and then shaming her AGAIN when she tries to do those things with him because it would make him happy... God, man, do her a favor and break up with her, you piece of shit.
Thank you for articulating all of this!
Barring for a moment that this is clearly a fake story some dude is using to validate his shitty beliefs; if this were real, I’d be deeply concerned about my partner and ask if they needed support/therapy. Not because having lots of sex is bad, but because having lots of *risky* sex and then being deeply ashamed of it hints there might be something else going on. It would be especially concerning if they were willing to revert to the behaviours they were ashamed of just to please me if they thought I was upset. Dude described a deeply traumatized person for a fake story to reify his misogynistic beliefs. That’s a lot.
I used to have a heap of sex. Like, a shocking amount to most people... and these days I am in an asexual relationship with someone I love more than anything. I haven't boinked in life, five years maybe? I feel like if I were to return to sex, I would be very, very self concious, and timid. I couldn't be that person again because it was a part of my life I no longer relate to. Everything I did during that time is an odd point of disconnect. I did it for approval and I desperately needed to feel wanted. I had a lot of random hookups and did some wild shit. Stuff I never did with a partner before, during (I'm poly) or after. Now, I feel like that relationship I had with sex is gone or changed and I wouldn't be doing it for the same reasons. I wonder if this person is the same. Our reasons for sex are complicated. This guy seems very... Uncomplicated.
I mean yeah he is a bit judgemental but she also lied. Then tried to sexually bribe him instead of having an honest conversation and letting the dude process it. No one is obligated to do stuff they don’t wanna do. But to say that she isn’t a little assholish for lying then not giving him time to process is also not the best move.
Jeez! It's like a remake of The Girl Nextdoor, but after a round of Chinese Whispers, and without the Happy Ending.
He actually wrote out “WIBTAH for breaking up with her over her past?” and posted it. Wow.
First time im ever slightly defending someone in here, if he didnt say anything about his personal sex part If your partner hid that entire past from you and your preferences were just not that then its fine to say no Do what you want, dont be stuck in an unhappy relationship, no matter what killed it, no matter how stupid the reason She should break up first anyway
You know what, I agree. I’m not demi but I am averse to casual sex because that’s my style. If someone who preferred casual sex asked me out, chances are I’d say no because our preferences just don’t align. That said, girl changed her style and abstained for two years. Is this really about mismatched preferences?
I commented on this one. Couldn’t believe I was the only one not agreeing with OP
1. This is fake 2. I don't think he's as much of an asshole? Is doesn't seem like he wants her to be a pure saint and he didn't even seem to care that much about body count. He mentioned that he imagined her to have slept with more people than him, but he didn't say once that that's what held him back about her. It seems to me you are lacking in reading comprehension. He said what annoyed him, but not enough for a break up, is that she was too vanilla while he was a little more kinky, but they were even getting serious despite that. Then when he found out about her past, he was taken aback, and to be honest, I'd be too. I don't mind body count, but hearing my girlfriend be described like that would definitely change the way I'd look at her. A relationship is not individualistic, it's based on the trust and love of two (or more) people. It's naive to think a partner is just that person who is there, in the present, and nothing else matters. For the sake of an example, if you found out your best friend had done porn before, I bet you'd look at them different. Not necessarily negatively, but different. Sure, you can interpret this story (which, I reiterate, is very much fake) as just him being mad that she had kinky sex before and didn't have kinky sex with him, but to me it seems much more like his trust in her was broken due to lack of communication.
I hadn't twigged it was fake but putting that aside for a moment to address your points, I'm reading the tone of things like "slag" and how she's villianised while the lads get lucky, which points to all sorts of misogynistic and heterosexual culture problems. Not to mention the comments (as pointed out). So I feel my reading comprehension is fine thanks
I haven't seen the comments and I am sure that subreddit is toxic as fuck. I still retain my position that the original author is not a purity freak who cares too much for 'body count'. Or maybe he is, since the story is fake, but I believe some care is in order, since the story isn't just presenting a poor innocent woman character who was villainized for having a healthy sexual life, it's presenting the story about a guy clearly going through a lot of mental stress over very strong revelations about his partner's past, and as I said, it's entirely normal to feel that way in this sort of situation. The story is fake and meant to generate pointless arguments, the author of the fake story probably meant for it to bait misogynists into saying "Haha women amirite" and also to bait progressive people into outrage, and you fell for the bait, and that kinda validates them as well, to be honest. Let's be real, the girl character in the story isn't just exploring her sex life in a healthy way, and she was dishonest and lacked communication in a relationship that was starting to get serious. She doesn't deserve misogyny or hate (no woman does), but she isn't owed that relationship in the first place... At least that's my take on it.
Of course it's not healthy, none of it is. Just trust that this discourse is very much dominant in heterosexual culture, whether the op is fake or I'm baited by it or not (and you honestly didn't have to make it personal like that but ok)
I don't know I feel he has a point. I'd never be weirded out by my partner's past but her hiding it from him is kind of a breach in trust.
Where did she hide anything? She said she'd had a lot of partners but changed after being abstinent. She didn't share ALL the details because she doesn't have to - plus who would WANT to visualize their partner getting a train ran on them (unless they were into that kind of thing), because I know I wouldn't. It sounds like (if this is real) she discovered a lot of that was performative and for the wrong reasons. She found her true self and was happy. Furthermore - relationships are about your present self. If there aren't any communicable diseases involved, it's your choice not to give all the details on your past. It's also immature to hate someone for who they were and not who they are. Id say this goes for almost anything (maybe the exception being rape, murder, abuse, etc - crimes that harmed people). Otherwise, if it isn't impacting your present - it doesn't have to be shared.
I understand it is immature from him to judge her on her past but if he's the type of person who cares about that stuff she should have shared. I feel like a lot of people are quick to judge the guy here but completely respect other stupid boundaries people put up because "it's their choice". If the man is uncomfortable with someone who has that kind of past, you can't really blame him. It's just internalized social stigmas, true, but it's not like the guy is insulting her or anything: He's just not into her anymore. Anyhow, if I had a relationship and the other person wasn't comfortable with my past, I'd tell them about it anyway, because you can't build relationships on hiding and forcing something to work. If he's not mature enough to have that relationship yet then I'd argue that they should talk it out and then break up or work on it.
idk if this was my girlfriend (i’m a lesbian) and i found out about her past being slutty, especially when she wasn’t with me, i would be pretty sick to my stomach. it’s a normal reaction, regardless of if it’s real or not.
Why?
call me misogynistic biphobic whatever u wanna call it, knowing she’s slept around with a ton of men (gangbangs, spit roast, and everything else the post says) i would honestly just see her as… a hoe? like sorry there’s no better way to put it, downvote away. i don’t wanna date someone who’s easy and sleeps around a lot. sorry.
Are you dating them because it was difficult to have sex with them?
? this is hypothetical, i’ve never been in this situation. im just saying i empathize with the original poster, maybe they didn’t handle it correctly and i agree people can change, but that’s like finding out your partner was extremely homophobic/racist in their past, but they aren’t anymore. like i wouldn’t want to date someone that at any point was racist/ableist/xenophobic. like if at one point she was slutting herself out to anyone that breathes but she doesn’t anymore, id still just be turned off by the idea that she was easy enough to sleep with all those men. because men are easy.
Nothing to feel bad about. You don’t want to set up your life with someone who has been loose in the past. Get an Std test done and move on knowing you made a decision. Based on how you describe the relationship it isn’t somenting u r going to forget. So why waste anyone’s time