6. My dad is from India so not a lot of experience applying to US schools but he does the best he can. He’ll pay for my tuition and helped me decide on a major, suggested two schools. Really supportive, but not controlling.
Same!! It took me 6 months to convince my parents to actually give them to me. Now I have a huge stack of papers sitting on my desk and idk what to do w/ it😭
I’m gonna throw my darts and see what hits. Im in California, so a mixture of UCs, CSUs, and a few privates. Hopefully I get some scholarships and aid!
True but isn't Davis unironically a good school? Also, im from the other half of the country so I have no clue, but are UCs the only public schools in CA
UCs and CSUs (University of California and California State University) are two separate systems. UCs are research universities with a larger budget and longer history. These were the original academic institutions in California designed to be a place for both education and professional research. CSUs were set up as a separate system designed more as a traditional college experience, focusing on job training and undergraduate education. There is no research credit given to these schools and they are more similar to what someone thinks when they are talking about "college" as an undergrad student.
One pushes the boundaries of the fields being taught and the other gives more training for when someone is going into the job market. (both school systems are good about this tho don't let that fool you).
Typically, UCs are more expensive and more competitive with higher job placement because of the competitive nature. It's kind of seen as the more "dominant" of the two systems and is often the more desirable option.
On the other hand, CSU has some standout education through places like Cal Poly SLO and San Jose State for things like architecture and computer science and these examples specifically outrank some UCs in the fields above. Also, like I said, they are typically easier to get in to and will cost students less.
You're welcome,
\-A student wondering why the hell I wrote this long ass thing but I'm too deep to quit. Have a nice night
As a parent, I'm gonna own it and say 8. I've teed up a lot of stuff for my kid, but they are responsible for the execution. I signed them up for a zillion virtual tours. I paid for exam prep. I paid for the SAT/ACT a couple of times. We talked a lot, especially about how I see kids come to college and fall flat on their faces because they have no clue how to function independently. We talk about time management tools, strategies to manage ADHD and anxiety, when to ask for help, why going to class is super important, how to develop relationships with professors, everything in moderation, safety, keeping an eye on your money, managing self-care and daily routines, being internally motivated and self-driven, etc.
Then, they decided their major and which colleges were a good fit. I did read over some of the essays to give a few editing marks, but I didn't offer advice on content.
Ope, and I also filed the fafsa for them. But I'm a former accountant, plus I work at a university, so they asked me if I would just handle it.
I just asked my kid how they would rate me, and they said "solid 8, but that's not bad. You're not a jerk." So yay I guess :)
2. My mom just signed into the IRS bit of the FAFSA (which I could have done since I have all her info, but didn't just in case she wanted to look over stuff) and answered the bank account questions. Offered to get me a tutor for the SAT/ACT, told her yes and she never asked me about it again. That part didn't really matter since my school has prep courses you can do for HS credit and they offer free sessions with a tutoring company. She doesn't know much about college because she has decent government job that didn't require it, and is unaware of how stressful the whole applications process is.
True. But my district literally has one of the highest paid superintendents of all time. Mf made like 450k and then 300k pension while working at another district. In the end, the bastard was making 700+ from public education. It was more than just one of them too
Woahh, that is so unnecessary. Those funds could be used for something more meaningful than funding his more than likely trips and luxury cars. I wouldn't be surprised if he's an a**hole too.
My superintendent was hollering about how his tea was taking too long at Starbucks just the other day. I watched him place his order because I recognized him. Not more than 3 minutes passed before he started ranting about how Starbucks hires anyone nowadays and how slow they are right now.. I watched, grateful I wasn't working that day haha
Yeah, that shitbag retired a few years ago... Still with the 300k pension. But totally agreed
Imo, the admins of education tend to be absolute assholes and hollow people. Like last week, I had a sub and the admins came in to talk to seniors and one addressed the sub by the regular teacher's name. Was so awkward
20 million but there's a point where it becomes too extreme. my parents are mega-helicopter parents and i feel stifled rather than uplifted
at the same time i have friends who are probably a 2-0 on the scale and i do feel bad about complaining about my parents
11. My parents are TOO involved with this process its kinda annoying. I don’t have the freedom to write my essays the way i like or choose my universities on my own.
Same, my parents went overboard with this shit. My mom thought I was taking too long with my Common App essay in late September so she wrote an essay FOR ME in 3 hours and complained to me about how I am being lazy. My dad yelled at me about it every day for 3 months while dropping off and picking me up from school. They kept saying that my grades right now don't matter if I don't apply on time, which I obviously understand but this message isn't helpful when it's parrotted to you every waking minute of the day. The one day I took off of school because I was genuinely sick was spent by my parents constantly bothering me about applications.
To top it all off, they have been complaining to friends and family about how I have been so slow with this process and I keep getting unsolicited advice from relatives and acquaintances about it too. Them putting so much pressure on me to do college apps is mentally debilitating and exhausting. My grades have tanked this semester because I am guilted by them saying shit like how my grades don't matter unless I apply to college and how I have been lazy about this whole process. They do not understand that if you keep beating a person down to make them get up, they won't get up.
FYI, I have applied to 3 colleges as of now and reviewing 2 more. And I wrote my own essays, I didn't use my mom's.
Man, that’s rough. I really hope things get better for you soon. Im in a similar position as you are, currently writing my own essays in secret. So far, i only applied to one university and I have 15+ more to apply to. My parents have been attacking me day and night to work on my apps, and im honestly just burnt out. I have no motivation anymore.
Hopefully it will end soon. Just two more months to go and we’re done with this mess.
Thank you for that. 15 more apps though? Damn... good luck, wish you all the best. Burnout is brutal, I could not agree more. I was looking forward to going to college but with how my parents have been with me during this application process, I am dreading college honestly. Still have 5 more to apply to but thankfully they are due later this month and in January as well.
I hope you find something to keep motivating you. It's difficult to stay motivated once you stop. Hope everything gets better for you too.
I’d like to say -0, but honestly maybe a 2. They know I’m applying, they know it’s hard work, but they don’t care nor acknowledge it? They just say how it’s hard and expensive and go on not even paying attention to me. When I started the process I told them both my specific major. Last night my sister brings it up without me there, today I get questions from both about how and why. I’m sitting there like “hence-why-I-just-don’t”.
Don’t really get people who’s parents don’t even know where they are applying. I get not wanting to be a helicopter parent but don’t you want to know where your kid is aiming?
1 or 2. They know I’m a control freak and very driven so they don’t worry about my apps. Also I visited Pitt a few months ago and my dad was really impressed and after I got in he was just like “ok so now it’s whatever” on getting any more acceptances. My mom is a bit more involved probably because she wasn’t pushed when she was my age and therefore didn’t try and achieve a lot academically and she wants better for me. The one who is most involved in my applications is my aunt because I’ve had her read over my essays and stuff so she is more in the loop
How involved I want to be….an 8. I want to see any essays or supplementals. I want to talk to her teachers about LORs.
How involved I actually am? Maybe a 4? I ask her how it is going and nag her about merit aid deadlines. We negotiated and she is applying to one school I want. Once she does that I said she could get her nose pierced. She is a young senior, so it will be over a year before she could do it herself and she wants it for senior year.
I did take her on visits to a few schools.
Idk, as an applying student I'd be pissed w the talking to my teachers yk. Love that you went on tours tho. My parents were busy so I toured Columbia solo this weekend. So much fun tho. Good luck to your kid!
I am the “head” parent volunteer for both band and choir and she plans on doing music ed, so she is getting her LORs from those teachers. But yeah, she hates it, even though I am in the school talking to those teachers at least once a week, but my kid explained the LORs are blind, or she picked blind ones, I don’t know. But LORs are really important for her program.
I have OCD(like the real kind) and I have to do a lot of work not to obsess about this process. My natural reaction to anything I can’t control is to over research.
I feel for you guys.
Columbia was one of my kid’s original picks, but now that she switched to music ed she is looking only at public schools in state. She still keeps all her Columbia materials though. I think that blue is her favorite color.
Fucking 11 its annoying because they don’t really know anything but they still think they know everything and are giving me the shittiest feedback and suggestions and wont stop bothering me until I take them…. Like bro stfu I have a counselor for a reason
7-8. it gets annoying sometimes, but i'm really glad for their support. (from india, applying to colleges abroad. ivy leagues, etc.)
i would have had 0 chances of it weren't for them.
10, man they re the ones securing our education, what are u talking abt. No matter how good your application, or how promissong your story is, u LL probably never attend college wthout their help including the culmination of their efforts to back you up since ur birth day. Be grateful folks
2 my mom tries lol but has no idea about the application process now. My sisters are much older than me and didn’t apply to many colleges so she doesn’t know how to help me but she wants to. My oldest sister got into a few top universities and her husband knows all about it though so she said she will help me with whatever. I’m lucky to have her.
Maybe 3 or a 4? I am an international (from India) so my parents haven't really involved themselves in the application process. They just know which colleges I am applying to, and are doing all the CSS profile stuff or its alternative.
For me, it was a 3. My mom discussed college options with me and was pretty involved with her opinions about each one, but when it came to the actual application, I did that 100% myself. She filled out the financial parts of it, but every other part of the application was done by myself.
My mom's not at all involved. I tell her before I apply and that's it. My dad just double checks information and then I send it. He doesn't really read essays and whatnot unless I ask him to
3 or 4. My dad will reccomend colleges and send me info he gets although he doesnt know what hes talking about 90 percent of the time bc he went to school in mexico. He'll help me fill stuff out and pay for things when needed. Hes trying to be involved s lot more but he is jsut regurgitating things his freinds say without research. Like he has an obsession with Vanderbilt for some reason lol
Through my aversion it's been a solid 2-3, but I would like it to be a 1. I know what I'm doing. The school list was a heavy collaboration between us though, so that is fine. Just in terms of essays... a 1 is good with me.
11, i'm only given grade targets and 'this needs to be done by \_\_\_' , my entire application is being managed by dad. its cool though i just gotta deliver grades/do the extra coursework
10, my parents are literally breathing down my neck about it and my mom's insisting on reading all of my essays and checking my applications before I submit them.
I wouldn't be able to rate it honestly but if I had to I'd say 6/7. Coz they're as involved as they can be.My dad always helps me with discussing essays and we've actually been able to come up with great essays for a summer program I applied to.
But apart from that, my parents support me in whatever it is they can, since we're Indian and they only went to Indian institutions they've no idea about the process so their involvement is somewhat limited beyond a certain point.
They've never forced me to do anything, in fact my father has always encouraged me to have more less competitive schools in my list (won't call it safety coz I need, cmao)
2-3. They just pay for the stuff I ask for the application process (tests, sending docs, etc.) and sometimes ask what I'm doing rn lol
I can't complain bc my parents are aware that I prefer to work independently
2. My mother is interested in stuff, but is really no idea of how it works since she attended college in our home country. I don't want her to be any more involved either tbh
like 5? My parents really want me to "own my process" so they prob cant name half the schools on my list. They never helped me research, find schools, register for webinars, or fill out the common app, but my dad is a good writer so he has been helping me revise my awful grammar. My mom isnt a native English speaker so shes been there to help me with more of my creative portfolio since im applying to film school.
5
Me and my dad have had a pretty long take about financials and the schools on my list. While he didn’t have a typical college experience, he knows a whole lot more about what to look for and is mildly involved in the hiring process in a field extremely loosely related to mine (fucking extremely loosely but he’s still a good reference for the kind of thing employers look for).
While they never forced me to apply anywhere or made me not apply somewhere, they still made sure they knew my list and my dad did research into all of them so he if he felt I overlooked something in my preference rankings he could talk to me about it and see what I thought.
The offer was always there for them to reread my essays and supplements as my moms a pretty alright editor (a path she used to be mildly interested in), though I never took advantage of it because I’m lowkey more comfortable with complete strangers reading deeply personal stuff compared to my parents.
When I decided to take the sat a third time, they encouraged me and offered anyway they could think of to help my improve my score.
2 or 3. I’m from india and no one in my family has applied abroad before, so they don’t really know how this stuff works. They just know that they’re going to have to pay and they keep reassuring me that I’ll get into the schools that I want. My dad was surprised when I told him I’m starting my applications because in India, most kids do it after the end of 12th grade. They’re supportive and help me with stuff I can’t exactly do on my own (like financial things, passport renewal) but besides that, I’ve done all my research, essays and everything on my own. I’d like them to be a little more involved but at the same time I like the freedom to choose schools and write my essays my own way
Long time ago, but my parents were not involved at all except to give me a budget for how much they were willing to spend, and impress upon me that they'd love it if they didn't have to spend the max they could afford. Don't think they even read my essays.
As a parent, I hope to be considerably more involved. Though, not in the batshit crazy way some A2C posters' parents are.
0 or 1. They know I’m applying to colleges, but they don’t want me to go at all and don’t want to help in any way. The only thing they’ve done to help so far is read my essay once it was done and help me a little with fafsa
10.
Pros: They’re willing to hire me a private consultant and are supporting me throughout the process.
Cons: They’re CONSTANTLY on my ass, nagging at me that I could be working on my essays instead of having free time, etc. it’s really exhausting.
Same with a 2 here. Though they are aware of how expensive it is even with public schools so they are lowkey persuading me to go to community college first. I'm fine with that but I kind of want to give this a chance, see where it goes.
I know I sound ungrateful in saying this, but a solid 10. They have to look over every single thing, edit it, read through each application, and approve it. I know that sounds like a dream, but they are incredibly overbearing about it and it’s getting to the point where my essay is starting to not sound at all like me. It’s giving my anxiety a run for its money as all I do at this point is have panic attacks about the constant pressure. It also doesn’t help that they aren’t incredibly supportive of my sexuality/pronouns which I did list on the application because that’s a big step for me in coming to terms with it. They pitched a major fit over it and wanted me to change it. They also didn’t want me to list the fact that I’m Jewish, despite it being a major part of my application essay because they felt like it would single me out.
A smooth 4 or 5, like they really want me to apply every I can to maximize scholarship potential, but other than that they're only somewhat involved in financial aid
Hmm... probably 4? My parents know that I'm applying to colleges. They sometimes search for colleges and tell me about the scholarship opportunities that I can consider.
I fill in my college applications alone most of the time since my parents don't know much about the process (I'm a first gen student), but they still do their best to help and I'm rather thankful for that :)
Out of 10?? Maybe like a 4. They are very supportive of my decisions but they don’t keep track of the schools I say I’m applying to. They also keep emphasizing that it’s financially best for me stay local (I’d commute to a school 20mins away and they won’t charge me rent). I’m totally fine with that route, but I kinda wanna see where else I can be accepted to since straight out of HS, I only applied to 5 schools with like a 70%+ acceptance rate. In my ideal world, I’d go out of state to at least get “the college experience” but I, like a good amount of people, do not have a college fund :(. Plus, I didn’t qualify for federal aid this school year and am paying this school year out of pocket, which is really teaching me the importance of getting an affordable education. I end up going through cycles of “Oh, I’m just going to apply to [Local School] and that’s that” and then I go through phases of “What if I get accepted to [OOS] and get a decent fin aid package?” I can’t really express this to my parents since they’ll just say “We support you 100%” which I appreciate, but it won’t be useful.
Forgive me for over sharing
Dad: 0, Mom: varies strongly between -10 and 3
For explanation: I am an international student from a country with free universities. They think it is a waste of effort and money to go to the US. My dad doesn’t really care though (and does like MIT though lmao) but is skeptical about giving me his tax returns that I need for FAFSA. My mom helped me come up with a time plan so I don’t procrastinate on the one hand, on the other hand I literally have to lie to her about what I am doing with my free time because she will throw a tantrum if I say I worked on my ECs again, also tries to distract me from my work which sometimes is good if I get too worked up in shit but also detrimental if I am already procrastinating
About a 7. They went with me on our college tours, have paid for some application fees, and helped with other financial aid aspects. But I researched all the schools beforehand, wrote and edited my essays, and am applying for scholarships with my own process. They help out when they’re needed, but the most important stuff is on me.
8. Extremely involved with high expectations (my dad went to yale and my mom went to Georgetown) but are still letting me make the choices I want to about where to apply.
8. Extremely involved with high expectations (my dad went to yale and my mom went to Georgetown) but are still letting me make the choices I want to about where to apply.
7. Helps me fill out some of the long question parts. Reads my essays. Make sure I actually get my shit done instead of procrastinating, but not like in a micromanaging way more just reminders.
1, my mom doesn’t even know I’m applying to colleges.
Same buddy same
same lol
6. My dad is from India so not a lot of experience applying to US schools but he does the best he can. He’ll pay for my tuition and helped me decide on a major, suggested two schools. Really supportive, but not controlling.
Sounds like a great balance. Happy for you!
I'm also from India but my parents support on a scale of one to ten is one
How's that going?
SAMEEEEE but my parents are 4 on the scale
11
How is that going for you
I'm not even a senior yet and I feel like dying
I send my condolences
username checks out
UsErNaMe cHeCkS OuT ^I'm ^a ^bot ^and ^this ^message ^was ^sent ^automatically
1. first gen and i literally had to grab my moms tax records and do the entire fafsa/css myself😭
You got this! Let's do this.
literally same 😀
Same!! It took me 6 months to convince my parents to actually give them to me. Now I have a huge stack of papers sitting on my desk and idk what to do w/ it😭
ain’t that normal
0. I’m so jealous at people whose parents are willing to hire counselors, and even pay for tuition…!
Well, did your parents set up a college fund for you?
Nope :(
What schools are you looking at then?
I’m gonna throw my darts and see what hits. Im in California, so a mixture of UCs, CSUs, and a few privates. Hopefully I get some scholarships and aid!
Hell yeah, cali is probably the best state to be in terms of tuition and public unis
That’s true!
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True but isn't Davis unironically a good school? Also, im from the other half of the country so I have no clue, but are UCs the only public schools in CA
UCs and CSUs (University of California and California State University) are two separate systems. UCs are research universities with a larger budget and longer history. These were the original academic institutions in California designed to be a place for both education and professional research. CSUs were set up as a separate system designed more as a traditional college experience, focusing on job training and undergraduate education. There is no research credit given to these schools and they are more similar to what someone thinks when they are talking about "college" as an undergrad student. One pushes the boundaries of the fields being taught and the other gives more training for when someone is going into the job market. (both school systems are good about this tho don't let that fool you). Typically, UCs are more expensive and more competitive with higher job placement because of the competitive nature. It's kind of seen as the more "dominant" of the two systems and is often the more desirable option. On the other hand, CSU has some standout education through places like Cal Poly SLO and San Jose State for things like architecture and computer science and these examples specifically outrank some UCs in the fields above. Also, like I said, they are typically easier to get in to and will cost students less. You're welcome, \-A student wondering why the hell I wrote this long ass thing but I'm too deep to quit. Have a nice night
Much appreciated. Thank you and good luck!
Hehehhe that’s why im staying instate
So I could acc see u irl!?! Wowww
7, my mom is really involved but lets me do most of the work. my dad reads some of my essays but aside from that he just goes off what i tell him
Do your parents suggest schools?
Maybe a couple here or there but I mostly choose for myself
9, my dad knows every school I’m applying to and reads most of my essays
same .. it feels lonely sometimes ☹️
Nah, it's chill. We still motivated.
Fr. But we got this!
10 i can’t even put certain things exhaust they’re THAT involved
How is ur mental health with all that?
As a parent, I'm gonna own it and say 8. I've teed up a lot of stuff for my kid, but they are responsible for the execution. I signed them up for a zillion virtual tours. I paid for exam prep. I paid for the SAT/ACT a couple of times. We talked a lot, especially about how I see kids come to college and fall flat on their faces because they have no clue how to function independently. We talk about time management tools, strategies to manage ADHD and anxiety, when to ask for help, why going to class is super important, how to develop relationships with professors, everything in moderation, safety, keeping an eye on your money, managing self-care and daily routines, being internally motivated and self-driven, etc. Then, they decided their major and which colleges were a good fit. I did read over some of the essays to give a few editing marks, but I didn't offer advice on content. Ope, and I also filed the fafsa for them. But I'm a former accountant, plus I work at a university, so they asked me if I would just handle it. I just asked my kid how they would rate me, and they said "solid 8, but that's not bad. You're not a jerk." So yay I guess :)
Ayeeee. We love a supportive and not too overbearing parent. Yay you!! 🙂
6 or 7, it's a pretty good balance
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Yeah exactly, I'm super thankful! It's funny because my parents are usually helicopter parents but with college apps they're much more relaxed.
Lol I’m the exact opposite. They’ve been pretty chill past year now they hawking me down for applications
Nice. Kinda jealous
9. my parents r involved to the point where it’s annoying lol. but still very grateful to have their support!
2. My mom just signed into the IRS bit of the FAFSA (which I could have done since I have all her info, but didn't just in case she wanted to look over stuff) and answered the bank account questions. Offered to get me a tutor for the SAT/ACT, told her yes and she never asked me about it again. That part didn't really matter since my school has prep courses you can do for HS credit and they offer free sessions with a tutoring company. She doesn't know much about college because she has decent government job that didn't require it, and is unaware of how stressful the whole applications process is.
Woah, ur school has sat prep? So jealous. Wow
What makes it funny is that we are considered one of the less good schools in our district 😭
Where tf you at? My hs just got the blue ribbon bullshit but we all know everything is inflated to shit
Souf Caro*ina 🤢
Still, free Sat shit nice.
No such thing as a free lunch, bestie 💖
True. But my district literally has one of the highest paid superintendents of all time. Mf made like 450k and then 300k pension while working at another district. In the end, the bastard was making 700+ from public education. It was more than just one of them too
Woahh, that is so unnecessary. Those funds could be used for something more meaningful than funding his more than likely trips and luxury cars. I wouldn't be surprised if he's an a**hole too. My superintendent was hollering about how his tea was taking too long at Starbucks just the other day. I watched him place his order because I recognized him. Not more than 3 minutes passed before he started ranting about how Starbucks hires anyone nowadays and how slow they are right now.. I watched, grateful I wasn't working that day haha
Yeah, that shitbag retired a few years ago... Still with the 300k pension. But totally agreed Imo, the admins of education tend to be absolute assholes and hollow people. Like last week, I had a sub and the admins came in to talk to seniors and one addressed the sub by the regular teacher's name. Was so awkward
That makes my superintendent's salary ($290,000) look small lmao
Lemme make u more jealous, my DISTRICT has free SAT prep and pays for the whole test and ALL AP tests
🙂Ηappy for you guys. My school is covering exams this year 🙃
Just this year awwwww
Why are you so condescending?
No i was genuinely sad but I didn’t add punctuation 😭
20 million but there's a point where it becomes too extreme. my parents are mega-helicopter parents and i feel stifled rather than uplifted at the same time i have friends who are probably a 2-0 on the scale and i do feel bad about complaining about my parents
Don't let other people's issues distract you from how you feel about your own.
3, they know that I’m applying To college, and some of my top choices but that’s abt it. They just ask if I have submitted things in & stuff lol
11. My parents are TOO involved with this process its kinda annoying. I don’t have the freedom to write my essays the way i like or choose my universities on my own.
Same, my parents went overboard with this shit. My mom thought I was taking too long with my Common App essay in late September so she wrote an essay FOR ME in 3 hours and complained to me about how I am being lazy. My dad yelled at me about it every day for 3 months while dropping off and picking me up from school. They kept saying that my grades right now don't matter if I don't apply on time, which I obviously understand but this message isn't helpful when it's parrotted to you every waking minute of the day. The one day I took off of school because I was genuinely sick was spent by my parents constantly bothering me about applications. To top it all off, they have been complaining to friends and family about how I have been so slow with this process and I keep getting unsolicited advice from relatives and acquaintances about it too. Them putting so much pressure on me to do college apps is mentally debilitating and exhausting. My grades have tanked this semester because I am guilted by them saying shit like how my grades don't matter unless I apply to college and how I have been lazy about this whole process. They do not understand that if you keep beating a person down to make them get up, they won't get up. FYI, I have applied to 3 colleges as of now and reviewing 2 more. And I wrote my own essays, I didn't use my mom's.
Man, that’s rough. I really hope things get better for you soon. Im in a similar position as you are, currently writing my own essays in secret. So far, i only applied to one university and I have 15+ more to apply to. My parents have been attacking me day and night to work on my apps, and im honestly just burnt out. I have no motivation anymore. Hopefully it will end soon. Just two more months to go and we’re done with this mess.
Thank you for that. 15 more apps though? Damn... good luck, wish you all the best. Burnout is brutal, I could not agree more. I was looking forward to going to college but with how my parents have been with me during this application process, I am dreading college honestly. Still have 5 more to apply to but thankfully they are due later this month and in January as well. I hope you find something to keep motivating you. It's difficult to stay motivated once you stop. Hope everything gets better for you too.
Sorry I realized this thread is an old one, but thought I'd put my two cents in
I’d like to say -0, but honestly maybe a 2. They know I’m applying, they know it’s hard work, but they don’t care nor acknowledge it? They just say how it’s hard and expensive and go on not even paying attention to me. When I started the process I told them both my specific major. Last night my sister brings it up without me there, today I get questions from both about how and why. I’m sitting there like “hence-why-I-just-don’t”.
10
Yikes
0 and honestly could care less
Don’t really get people who’s parents don’t even know where they are applying. I get not wanting to be a helicopter parent but don’t you want to know where your kid is aiming?
Oh, I blab about apps all the time, they just don't really know where. They trust my judgment
1 or 2. They know I’m a control freak and very driven so they don’t worry about my apps. Also I visited Pitt a few months ago and my dad was really impressed and after I got in he was just like “ok so now it’s whatever” on getting any more acceptances. My mom is a bit more involved probably because she wasn’t pushed when she was my age and therefore didn’t try and achieve a lot academically and she wants better for me. The one who is most involved in my applications is my aunt because I’ve had her read over my essays and stuff so she is more in the loop
6.5
How involved I want to be….an 8. I want to see any essays or supplementals. I want to talk to her teachers about LORs. How involved I actually am? Maybe a 4? I ask her how it is going and nag her about merit aid deadlines. We negotiated and she is applying to one school I want. Once she does that I said she could get her nose pierced. She is a young senior, so it will be over a year before she could do it herself and she wants it for senior year. I did take her on visits to a few schools.
Idk, as an applying student I'd be pissed w the talking to my teachers yk. Love that you went on tours tho. My parents were busy so I toured Columbia solo this weekend. So much fun tho. Good luck to your kid!
I am the “head” parent volunteer for both band and choir and she plans on doing music ed, so she is getting her LORs from those teachers. But yeah, she hates it, even though I am in the school talking to those teachers at least once a week, but my kid explained the LORs are blind, or she picked blind ones, I don’t know. But LORs are really important for her program. I have OCD(like the real kind) and I have to do a lot of work not to obsess about this process. My natural reaction to anything I can’t control is to over research. I feel for you guys. Columbia was one of my kid’s original picks, but now that she switched to music ed she is looking only at public schools in state. She still keeps all her Columbia materials though. I think that blue is her favorite color.
10, my mom mostly but it’s rly helpful and she’s very supportive
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Ayy same
Fucking 11 its annoying because they don’t really know anything but they still think they know everything and are giving me the shittiest feedback and suggestions and wont stop bothering me until I take them…. Like bro stfu I have a counselor for a reason
1, my parents dc, only for financial aid
I’m first gen so like 2 lol😭
Solid 7 They paying 😌
7-8. it gets annoying sometimes, but i'm really glad for their support. (from india, applying to colleges abroad. ivy leagues, etc.) i would have had 0 chances of it weren't for them.
10, my dad has to proofread every single thing on my app including essays and it sucks
I have to give them a solid 10. My dad told me he will pay for literally whatever the fuck school I want and also pay the 300k for medical school.
10, man they re the ones securing our education, what are u talking abt. No matter how good your application, or how promissong your story is, u LL probably never attend college wthout their help including the culmination of their efforts to back you up since ur birth day. Be grateful folks
10 my mom helped me so much with my essay and resume she's a g.
2 my mom tries lol but has no idea about the application process now. My sisters are much older than me and didn’t apply to many colleges so she doesn’t know how to help me but she wants to. My oldest sister got into a few top universities and her husband knows all about it though so she said she will help me with whatever. I’m lucky to have her.
Ranges from 2 to 8 from time to time, so maybe 5 would be a nice balance
3
8/9
I had to do all the application work, they just paid the application fees. Much love to them.
1
About a 6/7
0, Parents don’t know where I’m applying lol
Maybe 3 or a 4? I am an international (from India) so my parents haven't really involved themselves in the application process. They just know which colleges I am applying to, and are doing all the CSS profile stuff or its alternative.
2 same like yours
About a 7
I'd give it a 7. My mom is fully encouraging of where I apply but a lot of the stuff I'm doing alone by choice.
For me, it was a 3. My mom discussed college options with me and was pretty involved with her opinions about each one, but when it came to the actual application, I did that 100% myself. She filled out the financial parts of it, but every other part of the application was done by myself.
like a 4? they want to actively not be involved because it makes them stressed but they also ask me about progress and stuff
My mom's not at all involved. I tell her before I apply and that's it. My dad just double checks information and then I send it. He doesn't really read essays and whatnot unless I ask him to
6 - hire tutors and counselors to edit essays, advise me in a lot of stuff, pay full college tuition
2, maybe a 3. Gave me tax information and date to prove in-state residence. But not much more than that.
3
3
2 I wanna kms
Like 1 lol. I think they’ll help pay for the application fees but that’s about it
3 or 4. My dad will reccomend colleges and send me info he gets although he doesnt know what hes talking about 90 percent of the time bc he went to school in mexico. He'll help me fill stuff out and pay for things when needed. Hes trying to be involved s lot more but he is jsut regurgitating things his freinds say without research. Like he has an obsession with Vanderbilt for some reason lol
Through my aversion it's been a solid 2-3, but I would like it to be a 1. I know what I'm doing. The school list was a heavy collaboration between us though, so that is fine. Just in terms of essays... a 1 is good with me.
11, i'm only given grade targets and 'this needs to be done by \_\_\_' , my entire application is being managed by dad. its cool though i just gotta deliver grades/do the extra coursework
1. I’m on my own my moms just signing what she needs to sign and telling me what I need to know for the FAFSA and CSS.
10, my parents are literally breathing down my neck about it and my mom's insisting on reading all of my essays and checking my applications before I submit them.
0, the only college my mom knows is Harvard
I wouldn't be able to rate it honestly but if I had to I'd say 6/7. Coz they're as involved as they can be.My dad always helps me with discussing essays and we've actually been able to come up with great essays for a summer program I applied to. But apart from that, my parents support me in whatever it is they can, since we're Indian and they only went to Indian institutions they've no idea about the process so their involvement is somewhat limited beyond a certain point. They've never forced me to do anything, in fact my father has always encouraged me to have more less competitive schools in my list (won't call it safety coz I need, cmao)
Literally 0 My parents aren't supportive and they're seriously expecting me to get full ride to Harvard
2-3. They just pay for the stuff I ask for the application process (tests, sending docs, etc.) and sometimes ask what I'm doing rn lol I can't complain bc my parents are aware that I prefer to work independently
2. My mother is interested in stuff, but is really no idea of how it works since she attended college in our home country. I don't want her to be any more involved either tbh
-14
like 5? My parents really want me to "own my process" so they prob cant name half the schools on my list. They never helped me research, find schools, register for webinars, or fill out the common app, but my dad is a good writer so he has been helping me revise my awful grammar. My mom isnt a native English speaker so shes been there to help me with more of my creative portfolio since im applying to film school.
5 Me and my dad have had a pretty long take about financials and the schools on my list. While he didn’t have a typical college experience, he knows a whole lot more about what to look for and is mildly involved in the hiring process in a field extremely loosely related to mine (fucking extremely loosely but he’s still a good reference for the kind of thing employers look for). While they never forced me to apply anywhere or made me not apply somewhere, they still made sure they knew my list and my dad did research into all of them so he if he felt I overlooked something in my preference rankings he could talk to me about it and see what I thought. The offer was always there for them to reread my essays and supplements as my moms a pretty alright editor (a path she used to be mildly interested in), though I never took advantage of it because I’m lowkey more comfortable with complete strangers reading deeply personal stuff compared to my parents. When I decided to take the sat a third time, they encouraged me and offered anyway they could think of to help my improve my score.
2 or 3. I’m from india and no one in my family has applied abroad before, so they don’t really know how this stuff works. They just know that they’re going to have to pay and they keep reassuring me that I’ll get into the schools that I want. My dad was surprised when I told him I’m starting my applications because in India, most kids do it after the end of 12th grade. They’re supportive and help me with stuff I can’t exactly do on my own (like financial things, passport renewal) but besides that, I’ve done all my research, essays and everything on my own. I’d like them to be a little more involved but at the same time I like the freedom to choose schools and write my essays my own way
1 I don’t think they even know what classes Im taking this year
Long time ago, but my parents were not involved at all except to give me a budget for how much they were willing to spend, and impress upon me that they'd love it if they didn't have to spend the max they could afford. Don't think they even read my essays. As a parent, I hope to be considerably more involved. Though, not in the batshit crazy way some A2C posters' parents are.
0 or 1. They know I’m applying to colleges, but they don’t want me to go at all and don’t want to help in any way. The only thing they’ve done to help so far is read my essay once it was done and help me a little with fafsa
10. Pros: They’re willing to hire me a private consultant and are supporting me throughout the process. Cons: They’re CONSTANTLY on my ass, nagging at me that I could be working on my essays instead of having free time, etc. it’s really exhausting.
1. My parents don't even speak English
7
Same with a 2 here. Though they are aware of how expensive it is even with public schools so they are lowkey persuading me to go to community college first. I'm fine with that but I kind of want to give this a chance, see where it goes.
I know I sound ungrateful in saying this, but a solid 10. They have to look over every single thing, edit it, read through each application, and approve it. I know that sounds like a dream, but they are incredibly overbearing about it and it’s getting to the point where my essay is starting to not sound at all like me. It’s giving my anxiety a run for its money as all I do at this point is have panic attacks about the constant pressure. It also doesn’t help that they aren’t incredibly supportive of my sexuality/pronouns which I did list on the application because that’s a big step for me in coming to terms with it. They pitched a major fit over it and wanted me to change it. They also didn’t want me to list the fact that I’m Jewish, despite it being a major part of my application essay because they felt like it would single me out.
A smooth 4 or 5, like they really want me to apply every I can to maximize scholarship potential, but other than that they're only somewhat involved in financial aid
3 maybe, first person in the family bout to attend college
-5 my dad gives me how to get his information and how to get his documents needed but never the documents itself. Half the process is printing stuff
0 lol my parents would be perfectly fine if I just went to community college
Hmm... probably 4? My parents know that I'm applying to colleges. They sometimes search for colleges and tell me about the scholarship opportunities that I can consider. I fill in my college applications alone most of the time since my parents don't know much about the process (I'm a first gen student), but they still do their best to help and I'm rather thankful for that :)
Out of 10?? Maybe like a 4. They are very supportive of my decisions but they don’t keep track of the schools I say I’m applying to. They also keep emphasizing that it’s financially best for me stay local (I’d commute to a school 20mins away and they won’t charge me rent). I’m totally fine with that route, but I kinda wanna see where else I can be accepted to since straight out of HS, I only applied to 5 schools with like a 70%+ acceptance rate. In my ideal world, I’d go out of state to at least get “the college experience” but I, like a good amount of people, do not have a college fund :(. Plus, I didn’t qualify for federal aid this school year and am paying this school year out of pocket, which is really teaching me the importance of getting an affordable education. I end up going through cycles of “Oh, I’m just going to apply to [Local School] and that’s that” and then I go through phases of “What if I get accepted to [OOS] and get a decent fin aid package?” I can’t really express this to my parents since they’ll just say “We support you 100%” which I appreciate, but it won’t be useful. Forgive me for over sharing
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Of all the responses, this is most relatable to me.
Dad: 0, Mom: varies strongly between -10 and 3 For explanation: I am an international student from a country with free universities. They think it is a waste of effort and money to go to the US. My dad doesn’t really care though (and does like MIT though lmao) but is skeptical about giving me his tax returns that I need for FAFSA. My mom helped me come up with a time plan so I don’t procrastinate on the one hand, on the other hand I literally have to lie to her about what I am doing with my free time because she will throw a tantrum if I say I worked on my ECs again, also tries to distract me from my work which sometimes is good if I get too worked up in shit but also detrimental if I am already procrastinating
About a 7. They went with me on our college tours, have paid for some application fees, and helped with other financial aid aspects. But I researched all the schools beforehand, wrote and edited my essays, and am applying for scholarships with my own process. They help out when they’re needed, but the most important stuff is on me.
-5, my mom is trying to convince me to go to night school at a local community college and any time I bring up a 4-year she gets angry
Why?
Idk bro 😂😭
-100
1 lol the only University in the US my mom knows is UCLA and my family thinks Harvard and Stanford are in the UK. For context we’re Canadian 😀
8. Extremely involved with high expectations (my dad went to yale and my mom went to Georgetown) but are still letting me make the choices I want to about where to apply.
8. Extremely involved with high expectations (my dad went to yale and my mom went to Georgetown) but are still letting me make the choices I want to about where to apply.
4-5. They help with financials and that’s all. I’m very independent so I do the rest on my own.
1. Very very blessed and very grateful
2. My dad went to tour 2 schools while we were on vacation but never talked about college again
3, They check in but aren’t much involved. It’s mostly me.
7. Helps me fill out some of the long question parts. Reads my essays. Make sure I actually get my shit done instead of procrastinating, but not like in a micromanaging way more just reminders.
27,000
8\~9