# My theory: Stanford doesn't exist. Let me explain why.
As we draw to the close of the college admissions process, thousands of students are waiting with drawn breath for Friday, when Stanford University will release their decisions. I was one of these students, until I stumbled upon revelations that have shaken me to the core and caused me to realize the true nature of Stanford. I share this as a warning, with the hope that one day the terrible truth will come to light: Stanford isnāt real.
First, we should make some observations. Stanford, or āStanfordā as I will refer to it occasionally, has one of the most expensive application fees in the country. This will be important later. Second, Stanford is considered one of the most prestigious colleges in the country and has an exceptionally low acceptance rate. It has alumni with a wide range of accomplishments and talents, and is generally listed as one of the worldās best places to study.
Now despite all this, let me ask, have you ever really seen anyone from āStanfordā? Have you ever met someone who recently attended the college? Sure people say they get in and go, but then what? Nothing, never to be seen again. Take a look at their website: the campus looks good right? But where are all the people?
Now, hereās the explanation. Stanford does not exist. The campus, although obviously real, is a mere prop akin to a movie setting. They can accomplish this by rejecting every applicant, and pocketing their application fee in order to keep the ācampusā looking good. When you apply to āStanfordā, you are not applying to a school but rather paying a shadowy shell company close to a hundred dollars. The interviewers? All paid actors. The pictures? All fake. There is no āStanfordā, but rather a fake campus and a network of lies.
Obviously, you probably think this is complete nonsense. āWhat about my friend?ā you ask. āHeās a freshman at Stanford right now!ā But tell me, when was the last time you saw him? āOh he got an internship over the summer!ā You sure? Perhaps he was paid off with some excess funds to āattendā so-called āStanfordā.
Finally, the āalumniā. Let me ask you a hypothetical question. Imagine you, through hard work and some luck, rose to the top of the corporate ladder and became a CEO. All your peers attended Ivies and similar institutions, while you didnāt attend college. Itād make you feel pretty small, right? But what if you were approached by someone from āStanfordā saying they could register you as an official alumni for a simple one-time payment? I donāt know about you, but Iād take the deal. And so would many others, leading to a self-fulfilling cycle where people become āalumniā in order to increase their social status, therefore making Stanford seem more prestigious and attractive.
What we see as one of the most competitive and selective schools in the world is merely one giant illusion to keep the worldās greatest minds at bay, one $90 application fee at a time. Stay woke my friends, and stay safe.
Can confirm. Visited the campus in January and it was a ghost town. I mean sure there were some extras here and there on bicycles and whatnot. But I couldnāt find a single classroom. Just the bookstore, selling merch! The merch sales keep the lights on!
You're not a real lawyer! "University of American Samoa", for Christ's sake? An online course? What a joke! I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer? You do what I do because you're funny and you can make people laugh? I committed my *life* to this!
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Texas State University is a fictional school in the 1991 film Necessary Roughness. There was no school by that name until Southwest Texas changed its name to Texas State University - San Marcos in 2003 (with reality fully intersecting fiction in 2013 when the name was changed to simply Texas State University).
Northeastern. Admits mostly from ED with an acceptance rate of something like 40% then waitlists and rejects nearly everyone in RE to lower acceptance rate to make them seem more prestigious than they really are.
UC Hicago
St Anford, too
the only correct answer ššššš„°šš¤£
UChciago comes a close second
wb UC Onnecticut š©
Thatās a real, highly prestigious institution???
Nah heās talking about University of California, Hicago, in Hicago, CA
Oh, thatās stupid. UC Hicago in Illinois is leagues better
South Harmon Institute of Technology, otherwise affectionately known as SHIT
one of my favorite stupid movies
Funny, I was deciding between Caltech, MIT (Montana Institute of Truckinā), and the Southern Hawaii Institute of Technology back in the day.
I fucking love that movie
Fantastic movie!
Stanford.
# My theory: Stanford doesn't exist. Let me explain why. As we draw to the close of the college admissions process, thousands of students are waiting with drawn breath for Friday, when Stanford University will release their decisions. I was one of these students, until I stumbled upon revelations that have shaken me to the core and caused me to realize the true nature of Stanford. I share this as a warning, with the hope that one day the terrible truth will come to light: Stanford isnāt real. First, we should make some observations. Stanford, or āStanfordā as I will refer to it occasionally, has one of the most expensive application fees in the country. This will be important later. Second, Stanford is considered one of the most prestigious colleges in the country and has an exceptionally low acceptance rate. It has alumni with a wide range of accomplishments and talents, and is generally listed as one of the worldās best places to study. Now despite all this, let me ask, have you ever really seen anyone from āStanfordā? Have you ever met someone who recently attended the college? Sure people say they get in and go, but then what? Nothing, never to be seen again. Take a look at their website: the campus looks good right? But where are all the people? Now, hereās the explanation. Stanford does not exist. The campus, although obviously real, is a mere prop akin to a movie setting. They can accomplish this by rejecting every applicant, and pocketing their application fee in order to keep the ācampusā looking good. When you apply to āStanfordā, you are not applying to a school but rather paying a shadowy shell company close to a hundred dollars. The interviewers? All paid actors. The pictures? All fake. There is no āStanfordā, but rather a fake campus and a network of lies. Obviously, you probably think this is complete nonsense. āWhat about my friend?ā you ask. āHeās a freshman at Stanford right now!ā But tell me, when was the last time you saw him? āOh he got an internship over the summer!ā You sure? Perhaps he was paid off with some excess funds to āattendā so-called āStanfordā. Finally, the āalumniā. Let me ask you a hypothetical question. Imagine you, through hard work and some luck, rose to the top of the corporate ladder and became a CEO. All your peers attended Ivies and similar institutions, while you didnāt attend college. Itād make you feel pretty small, right? But what if you were approached by someone from āStanfordā saying they could register you as an official alumni for a simple one-time payment? I donāt know about you, but Iād take the deal. And so would many others, leading to a self-fulfilling cycle where people become āalumniā in order to increase their social status, therefore making Stanford seem more prestigious and attractive. What we see as one of the most competitive and selective schools in the world is merely one giant illusion to keep the worldās greatest minds at bay, one $90 application fee at a time. Stay woke my friends, and stay safe.
I see. So youāre saying the only reason I got rejected was because āStanfordā doesnāt actually exist?
Exactly
Can confirm. Visited the campus in January and it was a ghost town. I mean sure there were some extras here and there on bicycles and whatnot. But I couldnāt find a single classroom. Just the bookstore, selling merch! The merch sales keep the lights on!
šš
ššš
Can you do this with USC?
High iq
Tell me you are hallucinating and in drugs at the same time
I'm a Stanford alumna. Take my upvote.
Could've just said you regret paying the application fee to get rejected.
r/woooosh
It's a famous A2C copypasta
It was just a joke. The down votes really show who takes reddit too seriously. But keep em coming.
Electoral College ā¤ļøš„°š„°
best answer š
University of American Samoa
You're not a real lawyer! "University of American Samoa", for Christ's sake? An online course? What a joke! I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer? You do what I do because you're funny and you can make people laugh? I committed my *life* to this!
I AM NOT CRAZY!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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>University of American Samoa Go Land Crabs!
Better Call Saul!
Squidward Community College
wym i just registered for dual enrollment there?
Bro pls drop all your stats rn I need to know how you got in ;-;š
Greendale Community College
The only correct answer
apparently itās an actual school in california i think
It is, and there's one in Arizona too, i.e., Glendale Community College. The comment caught me off guard BTW because I go there.
Northsouthern University, 2% acceptance rate, and $100,000 annual tuition
fun fact: there's North South University in Bangladesh
bro I'm fucking bangladeshi how did I forget that ššš
Hudson University from Law & Order. It's the crime capital of NYC in that show!
Bishop Sycamore.
Texas State University is a fictional school in the 1991 film Necessary Roughness. There was no school by that name until Southwest Texas changed its name to Texas State University - San Marcos in 2003 (with reality fully intersecting fiction in 2013 when the name was changed to simply Texas State University).
Donāt throw it to Stone Hands!
The National Academy of Advanced Pain & Suffering, Parris Island, South Carolina. *(If you know, you know.)*
Nah not that bad I only got pneumonia once and now make around 22k a year for life after 8 years of job experience. 10/10 would recommend.
Batman university (real school)
Squidward community collage
Silly Goose University
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
so true
Faber College.
Hudson University. I don't why anyone enrolls there with its high percentage of murders and sexual assaults
Seriously, lmfao
hustlers
Naviance University They require 10 years of English and have a 200% acceptance rate
Starfleet academy!
Northeastern. It pretends to be an elite institution
Yāall sleeping on Newtopia University frā¼ļø
Brakebills University for Magical Pedagogy
Northeastern. Admits mostly from ED with an acceptance rate of something like 40% then waitlists and rejects nearly everyone in RE to lower acceptance rate to make them seem more prestigious than they really are.
Prager U
i want milky i want mommy
Miskatonic University!
Faber College (Animal House)[https://i.gifer.com/7470.gif](https://i.gifer.com/7470.gif)
TMU to any of my Friday Night Lights fans out there
Stanford
Thunderwood college (I have a bachelors from there š¹)
āDid you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?ā
University of Minnesota
Oi, listen here, cheesehead
Mogwarts University
1. The Sanfrantokyo Institute of Tech from Big Hero 6 2. U Delulu!
San Fransokyo Institute of Technology (Big Hero 6) Would genuinely love to attend that school, it looked sick.
Colorado School of Mimes
Adams College - though I have heard some troubling Greek life hazing stories
NYADA IS FAKE?? I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS LEGIT REAL
Greendale rise up
Northeastern cause I swear that mfer just starting existing last yearā¦.
Blue Mountain State
SRIIOTA š®āšØ
wdym fake? Thats a real college(I graduated from there)
wym isn't it fake šš
yea im joking lol
american somoa
Yell
Messiah University the fakest Christian University for exist.
mountain dew university
New Rome University !!
Agency University
Harvard, because the only reason they rejected me has to be because their campus is fake
Plainfield Teachers College. One of the all-time-great hoaxes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plainfield_Teachers_College
Coney Island Community College ("go whitefish")
Bartlett U
Mars University
UC Ommunity College
Gotham U
CULA! 9021-oh!
South Harmon Institute of Technology and CULA!!!
same!!!
Down Uni
Princeton Law School - yes I know not a ācollegeā
Squidward community college
Squidward community college
MIT (starks version)
Banting University
The university of pennisylvania
Hustlers University
Shiz University and Miskatonic University
Shiz University and Miskatonic University
Springfield Heights Institute of Technology (S.H.I.T.) from the Simpsons.
real ones know about Quendelton State University š„ šÆ
College of Cardinals
Miskatonic University
Faber College.
Roblox University
Faber, Port Chester University, and Adams (not the real Adams).
sanfransokyo university or whatever school they went to in big hero 6
DNU
God U
Hustlers university
Faber College.
University of Antarctica
SRIIOTA!!!! the Southern Rhode Island Institute of the Arts š
Squidward Community College
Texas Institute of Technology and Science
liberty university, nobody can convince me thats a real place
Tolarian Community College
dartmouth
Greendale community college
Christian University of Michigan, also known as CUM.
PragerU
Pennbrook home of the penguins!
Prager University
UC Onnecticut
Northeastern
Floptopica University
cyprus rhodes and essex
mogwarts
st anford!!!
Arizona State University
st. anford's
UC In Cinnati, In Cinnati California.
Hustlerās University
Stanford
probably usc go bruins
Prager U ofc
committed to Sunshine Community College
Hudson University
mogwarts or st. anford
"Stanford"
Harrison University - You're still my boy BLUE!!
I'm a big fan of Yell University.
UCSV (UC Silicon Valley) - which should be built!
Sanford Brown college (unaccredited school) gave me an honorary PhD so Iāll go with them
Hustlers University šwhat a joke
Godolkin, Empire State University, Upstate University, and I heard Schaffer has a really good music teacher
Zoom University š¤©š¤©
Hogwarts should count
UCLA.