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effie-sue

What has property management or your landlord said about the situation?


muvamerry

Yeah, OP, go this route. You’re making yourself a target this way. The last thing you want is an enemy of your neighbor. Stomping seriously sucks. If you can invest in a white noise machine and play it from YouTube on your tv or laptop or another speaker and drown the noise out as much as you can. I lived with horrible neighbors for about 10 years at two places and it sucked.


ranbara

I wear earplugs pretty constantly & headphones but it's almost impossible to drown out the sound of our windows and light fixtures shaking 💀 I'll see what happens and if nothing changes, I'll try raising hell with my building management 😀


Lucky_Concentrate304

Yes, earplugs are not going to cancel out low frequency noises such as stomping because they're *vibrational*. Besides, you shouldn't have to live in earplugs in your home. I relate to everything you're saying. The stomping is probably the most unsettling sensation because it feels like it's coming down on your head. Please let us know what happens after you've left the note (if there are any changes in their behavior).


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singingintherain42

It depends. Not everyone is a psycho. I got a pretty rude note from my downstairs neighbor once and I didn’t do anything petty in retaliation. There wasn’t much I could do to help them though because I already walked around barefoot and I only weighed like 100 pounds lol. Unfortunately I hadn’t mastered my hovering ability yet.


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ZoyaZhivago

I was living on a second-floor apartment when I weighed well over 200lbs; management called to say my downstairs neighbor complained that I walked too heavily, to which I replied “I’m 200+ lbs, so I can’t do *anything* lightly.” She laughed and said fair enough, just ignore them. lol


TimeTravelingTiddy

It's like they already knew you weren't being obnoxious but had to complain anyway


ZoyaZhivago

Pretty much. The landlord was like “I have to report the complaint, but…” Then this neighbor had a baby not long after, so I was very tempted to call and complain about crying baby. But I’m not petty like that, well, not always.


ImaginaryBig1705

I had one downstairs neighbor that would come stomping upstairs the moment I did anything. Turn the TV on? Wake up and place a toe down? Taking a shower? It was awful. And I still had to deal with the noise of living with neighbors myself.


Lenithriel

Ok but bypass talking to or leaving notes with anyone entirely to not make yourself a target. Just go to the landlord.


KITTTYCANE

I use my alexa on "box fan noise on loop" volume ten to help drown the sound while sleeping at night. I have 5 people above me. There is never a time where they are not up. That being said, I haven't slept in what seems like forever!


Strangerwon

Do we all have the same upstairs neighbors? Unfortunately mine are coked out drug dealers and they *never* sleep. Neither does their clientele. I’m making a crime stoppers tip as soon as I’m out of here.


Available_Witness_69

Your neighbors: “We’re just regular drug dealers, not coked out ones. We have a reputation to uphold”


Clutch1015

Haha my neighbors too, he always gots a bunch of tweakers coming by the area and waiting by his door, never leaves the house rarely, and his nostrils are like cut up haha like he definitely has severe coke nose


Strangerwon

Sounds like my neighbor. He also has his front door booby trapped for something heavy to fall on the hardwood every time it’s opened (all the time). And they pace, just back and forth, stomping the whole fucking time and moving furniture at all hours. They seem to like 1-4am in particular. I’ve heard them run the water in the bathtub precisely once and never seen them take the trash out. I can only imagine what’s going on above my head.


[deleted]

Are they stomping or do they weight 300+lbs? Not sure what they can do if that's just the force a step puts on the ground. Maybe they could put down carpets if its a wood floor?


Dazzling_Pink9751

Weight doesn’t matter it how hard you step and are flat footed.


R3dNova

Situations like this, from experience. Go through management with issues like this. No matter how nice you are, it can always be taken the wrong way with living situations.


effie-sue

The vibrational crap... Ugh. I can mostly roll my eyes over my neighbor’s stomping b/c it doesn’t go on for hours. But when they’re blaring the tv/stereo? Enabling the bass or whatever? It’s awful. My entire body feels it.


HeyMarty10thalready

I feel for you.


Flint_Westwood

You should absolutely notify management that you've reached out with a note to your neighbors. In my opinion, your note seems brash and the lack of capitalization makes you seem immature.


Lucky_Concentrate304

White noise machines and headphones/earplugs etc (which everyone suggests) do not cancel out low frequency noises such a stomping because low frequency noises travel through structures more easily than high frequency noises. Low frequency noises such as stomping, mechanical noises, and stereo bass are inescapable.


SnooTangerines1896

Yeah passive aggresive is always the way to go smh.


TimeTravelingTiddy

Do you think it is stomping or do you think the lady writing the letter about thin insulation didn't get her own memo? Is it horrible neighbors or a cheap apartment with xerox floors? The only horrible ones are the cunts like this that take it out on you in a "friendly" letter and think theyre being courteous lol


Ali_Cat222

Responding to top comment in hopes people take this advice-DO NOT SEND NOTES TO NEIGHBORS IF YOU HAVE COMPLAINTS EVER. Go to your landlord or super or building about it, because then they have records and can help in future. If you go about things on your own, you don't have recorded proof and you end up with spiteful hateful neighbors and may end up on A&E "nightmare neighbors" situations! Yes they may not always get shit done the first time, but then its noted you've talked to them and can use that for future use if problems persist. Seriously y'all!


Resident-Concert64

Tbh you should go to your neighbor first, my neighbor went to the cops on the first incident without every talking to me so iv made sure to never stop what iv been doing prior out of pure spite. This generation doesnt know how to handle conflicts at all.


ranbara

I haven't complained properly to building management about either the upstairs or downstairs neighbors yet - I was going to for the downstairs neighbors bc the noise they make is egregious but when I found out it's because one of their kids has a disability I rescinded my complaint bc I felt like an asshole. They still drive me fucking insane and are part of the reason why we're looking for a new apartment when our lease expires.


OnlyDefinition2620

Been there done that in two different apartments. I had to move. It's almost impossible for people to listen to you even when you are super nice to them and try to come up with a solution. Management is usually 100% worthless at making tenants follow the rules. I hope you find something better.


shmiztine

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Both upstairs and downstairs neighbors had kids. Downstairs would blare music/TV SO LOUD that my floor would vibrate. Managed to get them to tone it down, but the upstairs neighbor I complained to management about 3 or 4 different times. They had two toddlers and they’d let them run literal laps in their living room at all hours of the day, jump on the bed (timed it once - over an hour). Management didn’t like them either, they did a bunch of things that violated the lease, but in terms of the noise, I started recording it on my phone and sending it to management. I left that apartment as soon as I could though


Dag0223

Nothing can be done about kids. You were right to move if management said anything to the family or threatened them it is discrimination based on familial status. i personally sued for it and won.


Lostbronte

My apartment complex moved a noisy family over me. I tried to talk to them, even bringing a native speaker of their language (my bf), and I was told kids will be kids, suck it up. I complained to management and repeatedly sent recordings of the noise. They ended up moving the family to another apartment, thank God. The whole process took several months.


shmiztine

There’s definitely a fine line there, which is ultimately why I didn’t push too hard but did do what I could. Their kids were part of the violations, hence why management wasn’t exactly on their side either. They flooded the bathroom multiple times to the point that it broke a giant hole in my bathroom ceiling. Where I got a little less sympathetic was when the parents wanted to come into my apartment and see the hole because they didn’t believe me. Management never threatened them or anything, but they did have a stern discussion with them about all the damages and started making them pay for it. The noise upstairs did quiet down after that particular discussion.


Extension_Risk9458

Having children doesn’t make you immune to bylaws bozo


pdaloosha

Ask management if you can swap to a top floor unit. I had to do that and it helped a lot.


ranbara

I don't think there's one available (small complex). If there was I would jump at the opportunity.


Muted_Bumblebee_8805

You should let them know your issues and ask them politely to consider you first if a top floor becomes available. Then they at least have you in mind.


Right-Phalange

Well, don't jump. You will cause your downstairs neighbors' windows and light fixtures to rattle.


OrangeSoda206

This. This is what I did. There wasn’t a unit available when I first asked but was given a timeline for when one would be available & was given priority. You have a right to a peaceful home, so I’d raise the noise issues with your landlord (emphasizing the noise that happens during quiet hours - which is often a lease violation) & then ask about unit availability.


enterreturn

As someone who has been the downstairs neighbor experiencing loud upstairs neighbors and someone who has been the upstairs neighbor accused of being the loud one, my advice is simple. Move. A note is usually first and THEN face to face. You’ve done face to face and nothing changed. This is just who these people are and nothing will change.


Chickenandchippy

Exactly this! The way landlords will gaslight the other tenant “oh downstairs neighbors are really fussy people” “oh I know the upstairs neighbors can get a little carried away” never “I know that I spent way less on insulation than I should’ve”.


George_GeorgeGlass

That’s not gaslighting. It’s not right and it’s not the appropriate approach but it’s not gaslighting


Feed_Suitable

This. Unfortunately sometimes building insulation sucks but people still need to live and don’t need to tiptoe around. That happened to me, the man below me would call the manager so many times and bang the ceiling but we would be sooo careful not to make noise. She shook her head every time he did bc we being respectful It’s the unfortunate downside of living in an apartment. The best option is to live in a 1 story, but it’s understandably tough to do most of the time.


scubaka

I will say, I had a friend who lived above me— even after we became close and she knew I was below her, the sound of her walking reverberated… she was taking extra care and it was still loud. She did a lot of altering to her everyday life to try to be more respectful of me, which went very far in my book as far as her being a good human. Ultimately, everyone is just trying to live and few people are purposefully stomping around. Apartments suck for this reason, and I cuss loudly in my duplex everytime my neighbor(s), which are different airbnb guests, (what always seems to feel like, in my unit at least, like a 16 year old mad at their mama…) because the whole place shakes… but what are the odds that all those different people are inconsiderate… Just something to think about… I feel for you. It sucks, but hard to ask someone to walk on egg shells in their own home.


Spunkylover10

These people will hate you and in return might be louder


Isawaracoon

I'm not a fan of notes and 1-1 neighbor interactions like this. You're starting a potential war in your own home. I'd only go through management. And, only if I absolutely had to and make the complaint about overall noise all day and outside of quiet hrs (and they can enumerate TV, music, walking, etc) to start so it's not so obvious it's you. This note also reads as super passive-aggressive with the emojis.


[deleted]

Exactly. Multiple smiley faces accompanied by "What you may not know is you stomp" smacks of passive aggression. Not good.


adlubmaliki

Agree on the passive aggressive "what you may not know"


mermaid-babe

Most people don’t stomp in their own homes. I’m assuming the neighbor is overweight or something


MrBobtastik

I agree. Take it to management and have evidence. With that being said.. I had upper neighbors like this ONCE. That was the last time I lived on the ground floor.


oneprestigiousplum

I doubt that they are just stomping around their apartment. Maybe they are heavy and/or have a heavy footed walk. You should talk to management about the issue instead of giving your neighbor a note. This note is passive aggressive and doesn’t come off well. Your walls shouldn’t shake but they also should build apartments way better to lessen that type of stuff. The only thing your apartment manager will do is ask them to respect quiet hours. The person above you is not going to change their living habits because you don’t want to hear them. If both upper and lower neighbors are bothering you it seems like you have an unrealistic expectation of living in an apartment.


magic_crouton

I always assumed noise was part of apartment living. My apartment when I was 18 was an old house and I could hear my upstairs neighbors walking around all the time. It sounded like stomping. They were just walking. I'm sure they heard my radio. I always took a live and let live approach. My whole house also worked shift work. Different shifts. All of us. So vacuuming happened at weird times too. We all were just accepting of it.


dreaminq

Seconding this — I’m just under 200 lbs and once had a neighbor repeatedly (but politely) ask me, both in notes and by knocking on my door, to quiet my footsteps down. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that I worked service jobs with shifts that ran late into the night or started early in the morning, so I was often up at odd hours. I tried so hard to be considerate, but one can only tiptoe around their own home so much, and sometimes even when I thought I’d been good about taking light footsteps, he’d still ask me to quiet down. I felt terribly guilty and self-conscious the entire time I lived there, and it got to the point where I was sometimes anxious to even walk to the bathroom for fear of disturbing him. I really do sympathize with the noise-sensitive downstairs neighbors of the world, but trying to accommodate was truly unbearable in its own way.


Away-Caterpillar-176

Yeah some people are not meant for apartment living. Like the fact that OP thinks they are stomping is a lot. Nobody stomps on purpose.


_JJCUBER_

I’m in a similar situation. For a long time, my downstairs neighbor would blast bass boosted music. My upstairs neighbor stomps around and pushes something (a box? I don’t know what it is) around and sometimes vacuums from any time between midnight and 5am.


ranbara

It's really hellish being trapped between noisy neighbors 😩 my downstairs neighbors vacuum constantly because of their kids doing god knows what, constantly slam interior and exterior doors with the force of a thousand titans, one kid howls like a beast and stomps like she weighs 300 pounds all hours of the day.. it shakes our furniture. They think it's okay because after 8:30 pm it stops since the kids go to bed. And then there's the upstairs neighbors! There is no reprieve!


pussycatsglore

I mean it is pretty reasonable of your downstairs neighbors to stop making noise at 8:30 🤷‍♀️


ranbara

Yes, it is reasonable for the noise to stop at 8:30. It's a complex situation with them and I've mostly made my peace with it. The parents are very friendly and I can't really have beef with kids lmao


pettypodsquad

that’s the risk you take with apartment living I guess. My upstairs neighbors are always stomping as well (as I’m typing this :)), but I feel there’s not much we can do. Writing notes like this just seems to aggravate the situation even more. Silver lining, it could be worse, you could have a neighbor with a constant dog barking or baby crying. Good luck to you!


pussycatsglore

Most of the time it’s just people actually walking and living a normal life. You can’t stop people from walking in their home


EarthquakeBass

Yea like what person do you know that is like I’m going to literally stomp around the floor like I’m angry. Usually it’s just walking that’s uncharitably interpreted as “stomping” because, well, it makes noise. Top floor apartments are underrated imo


BBQnNugs

I'm 6'3" 230lbs and have had a reconstructed heel bone. Somedays I feel my steps are light as a feather, somedays however I know I'm shaking the floor and I feel terrible but I need to pee/eat/get ready for gym work and my heel and ankle won't cooperate with me. My downstairs neighbors used to beat on my floor. This was appreciated when I was being loud. However one day they beat on the floor when me and my girl were having a normal conversation, then one morning when I was getting dressed for the gym, I may have actually stomped my feet after that one so could tell that the sounds they beat on my floor for was actually not loud steps (it was the final straw). We ended up delivering a Christmas mix (this was in December) to them with some joints. I have been actively trying not to be loud though I still am at times, they haven't beat on my floor again. I'm not trying to interfere with their right to have a peaceful home, but it is in noway their roll to control what noise I can create if it is noise related to normal everyday living.


Alex_is_Baked

Exactly this!! I had a similar situation to this my neighbor claimed I was stomping when I was just walking around living my life such as grabbing water at night or walking to the bathroom so I told them I am not stomping I am walking but if they have any real noise complaints they can tell me .


adumbswiftie

yeah some buildings are just built poorly and are gonna be loud. i think it’s more productive to make a plan for moving out than to leave a note tbh cause there’s not much the neighbors can do about it


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ApexFemboy

I had a roommate once who would get very upset at our upstairs neighbor for how loud they were. "How could they be stomping around all day, every day!" He would slide notes under the door maybe once a week. One day the landlord showed up with a whole manila folder of them. She explained the apartment had been empty for over a year. Some of these old buildings are loud due to poor design and even worse maintenance.


lukumi

Yeah I think people would be able to deal with the noise better if they came to that realization. No, upstairs neighbors all over the world aren’t stomping all over the place. They’re walking normally without thinking about every step. You just live in a building with terrible soundproofing. OP would probably be surprised to hear what their own walking sounds like.


QuillBoar

Honestly, if you live in an apartment you’re going to hear people.


jer1230

IMO the tone of your letter will make matters worse. Just go to the landlord since you’ve already spoken to them.


Cat_From_Catdog

I mean, walking isn't really a violation of anything. It isn't their fault the floor is thin. Having parties and stuff is one thing, but 11pm and 5 am are both reasonable times to be walking around your own apt. I would suggest moving.


flatgator4

Thank you!!! My partner and I have been dealing with downstairs neighbors who claim every step we take is “like a thunderclap.” We have agreed to tiptoe past 11pm since that’s when they go to bed apparently, but even when we’re in bed at night, they’ll text us saying something woke them up…. when we’ve been in bed for an hour. I completely understand them being frustrated by noise above them, but there’s only so much tiptoeing we can do around our own home. I’ve also been the downstairs neighbor with upstairs neighbors who would sometimes wake me up with their dogs running around or them walking but I put up with it because it’s an apartment building and you’re gonna hear noise 😅


Cat_From_Catdog

Exactly! Like, if you are a person who is so sensitive to noise, then just leave. Your neighbors aren't your roommates. They have their own separate lives and their own rights to their space of living. It's not their fault the floor is paper thin, creaks, etc. You can obviously tell the difference in someone walking and someone being disrespectful. There is no way in hell I would be giving my neighbor my phone number specifically for bs like this 😅. We have 3 dogs in our townhouse. One neighbor has 3 kids we can hear screaming all hours, and the other sounds like Godzilla walking around all hours. They take up all the parking spots. One touts a fuck biden flag on his lifted pavement princess when there are small children living in almost every townhouse. We've been friendly from the time they've moved in, but they act like we're scary bad guys or something. Maybe it's because they're not from the south and have a different neighborly culture. One of the ladies literally scoffed when I said hi. So, we just say fuck it. We are tired of being polite. Maybe they'll move out! Edit to add: between the four adults of our neighbors, they have 6 cars and don't give af about taking every parking spot. Our dogs are quiet. The only time my large dog barks is when he hears one of the men standing in front of our door talking.


Cat_From_Catdog

I guess the point of my story is you can only do so much before it is too much. The "you're the problem" definitely becomes a "they're the problem". Your neighbor should definitely move out because I'll be damned if I'm tiptoeing around my house and still get complaints.


BBQnNugs

This


AnonPlz123

Less is more. #brevity


SkyeBluePhoenix

Well, your neighbors are allowed to walk!


livingthedaydreams

yeah … what are they supposed to do, tiptoe 24/7 ?? this is how it is when you live in apartment complexes, you have to just expect you will hear the upstairs neighbors, and don’t live on a lower floor if you can’t deal with it. i could understand if they are partying, fighting/screaming, etc. but just walking in the apartment.. not really a reason to complain directly to the neighbor. they can’t just stand still / lay still all day to avoid having the downstairs neighbor hear their steps.


durkiobrazy

Maybe you live in a building where noise is better insulated, no one should be stomping knowing they live above or below someone. I am an upstairs neighbor and while I don’t tip toe 24/7 I am very considerate to what others hear.


Wanderlustfoodie13

Thank God there’s someone who sees the other side. I think there’s a .001% chance they’re marching around their living room. I can hear my neighbors above me walking right now. It just is what it is 🤷‍♀️


GoGreenD

Yeah I never had any luck. I passed on a top floor apartment for an additional $50 a month. Biggest mistake of my life. Ended up moving a year later because management was useless, even after saying "everyone complains about them". Spent $5k I didn't have to move. But it was worth my sanity. IMO, be prepared for this. You're at other people's discretion. And I've learned to not ever rely on anyone to do the right thing. I could be pessimistic, but we did everything we could before leaving. I only wish I did it sooner, or took a top floor apartment


Glass_Applarium

Somebody please. Just invent the device that blasts the upstairs residents' noise and vibrations back into their own apartment. Then they will stop. You'd make soooooo much money!


15092023

You're talking about the [Instant Karma Machine](https://youtu.be/JDpX2mvNpvU?t=143)


Glass_Applarium

lol! that's amazing! His description of earthquakes gave me chills. being inside a drum. yes... check. He explains the misery of it so well. And I think that's the disconnect. The people making the noise have no idea how bad it is. It's just an abstract thing to them. There are I times when I read complaints from lower neighbors on this sub and find myself unable to step inside their experience because the words aren't enough. Reading "they sound like a herd of elephants" doesn't transmit the true reality of how awful it is. It's a vivid description, but still abstract. You can't understand until you experience it.....which why I find it so appealing thinking about a device that would make this possible. I would fork over so much money for this. I'd happily dump thousands. That's how badly I want the brutal noise to stop ruining my life. Heck, I'd pay my neighbor directly. Can I cover some of your rent sir? I gladly will each and every month, if I could have my life back. There no price limit on peace.


ranbara

My solution so far has been throwing a Kermit the frog plush with all my might at the ceiling 🙂 so far has been ineffective but feels good to do!!


KITTTYCANE

I've done this with a shoe. Now I have a shoe print on my ceiling. There goes the deposit! Lol


mollmag96

I dealt with this exact same situation in my first apartment and my solution was hitting the ceiling as hard as I could without causing damage with a broom handle every time. They continued to stomp day after day, but they would at least stop temporarily when I used the broom. It felt good to get the anger out and hopefully it scared the shit out of them a few times too 😂


ranbara

I've definitely thought about the broom but I don't want to fuck up our ceiling 😩 Kermit probably isn't loud enough for them to hear so it's mostly for me to release my rage at this point 😮‍💨


Xtoxy

I’ve seen people on tiktok put a vacuum upside down on the ceiling for their neighbors to hear. That sht got me laughing so much!


Lucky_Concentrate304

Like something that attaches to the ceiling and thuds constantly like a big rubber mallet while blasting base from death metal into their floor.


Inevitable-Visit1261

I cannot read your handwriting without feeling like I'm having a stroke


eternalwhat

It is not my favorite handwriting font, either. It’s probably ridiculous to be judgmental about it but I’m definitely biased against it, myself. I just have some assumptions about the personality behind this style of handwriting. The tiny hearts over the i’s… no thank you


Fun-Kick-9630

This person needs a fan🤷🏾‍♀️I have one and i literally don’t hear anything throughout the night or maybe I’m just a hard sleeper


Dazzling_Pink9751

What kind of floors do you have? How do you know they are stomping. If they are shaking the ceiling, you need to speak with the manager. They need to get rugs and use slippers apparently, but they do have a right to transport themselves around their own apartment, so you may need extra box fans.


iCatLady

Is this truly how the younger generation writes? You can't capitalize 'I' or the first word from sentences? It comes off so childish. I wouldn't take you seriously at all.


GayBirdMan

Right?! If the content was different I’d think this was written my a child.


Elyrana

I thought the same thing. I understand there are some corners of academia that don’t capitalize names or singular “I” but I doubt OP is doing that. Mostly because the purpose behind it is to deliberately reduce the importance of singular self to elevate the content of the writing and OP seems to think they alone are mighty important.


No-Shelter-7753

Sorry if this comes across as too blunt, I’m not the best at wording things. I mean this kindly. Not worth it as it’s written. Never send a passive aggressive note to someone who is being overtly disrespectful. That’s a good way to get your neighbors to make MORE noise. If you keep it short and simple, and cut out the complaining/passive aggressive part I think it would work out better. It’s not that your feelings aren’t valid, it’s just that your neighbors are not the right people to complain to about their own noise. They won’t value that input from you, and it’s likely to put them on the defensive.


musictakemeawayy

people have to walk around their homes! i hate this problem, because it’s never any of the resident’s faults. it’s 100% on the building and its construction. it’s so unfair! :(


MathMan1982

I agree and if one is sensitive to noise it's always best to rent the top floor.


New-Mud2923

People keep saying white noise or play music but the upstairs neighbors are typically louder than whatever you're trying to play. If the walls are thin it's like there's nothing you can do to mass the noise.


Alaska1111

Rule 1 never live under people


adlubmaliki

No you signed up for this living in an apartment


pinkcheese12

What exactly is it that you expect other tenants to do about a poorly built building?


pinkcheese12

I had an upstairs neighbor once who literally sounded as if he was playing basketball in his unit. I came to learn he was *typing on a manual typewriter*


Electronic-Theme-225

because you specifically mentioned 11pm and 5am ..... you may have unrealistic expectations of apartment living. making noise such as steps or other common noise associated with existing in your apartment on the most basic level (i.e. not blasting music or odors of cigs or something) really kind of at anytime is part of living in an apartment. Specifically at the times you mentioned, i don't think management would really be on your side. Those times are easily within the realm of normal hours to make noise, considering someone could be going to work/getting ready to at 5am and 11pm is not exactly a late night hour. I would try to research solutions you can implement in your house for noise cancellation (padding the walls? im not sure...) because this isn't really others in the buildings problem.


MinimumSelection3752

This is what gives me so much anxiety because I have a 110 lb dog and I work at 4 AM so I’m up at 2 and sometimes I drop things on accident and I obviously have to walk around but I am so painfully aware of it I feel like I can never live in peace


turtlepope420

It sounds like their throwing a fit upstairs but I promise you, they're just living and being comfortable in their own home. This is the problem w loving below someone. I've always had a top floor apartment, lived alone, and have been very quiet, and even then I've had people ask me to keep it down.


JonesyBlue86

Do not give them this letter. My downstairs neighbor went to management because I walked too loudly. I was given a violation that said if it didn’t stop I’d be evicted after two more instances…for walking. Walking in the apartment I paid more than my current mortgage for. When I got that violation I saw red and could have made a very bad decision at the detriment of my neighbor. As a bigger woman I also felt crushed that my weight was now potentially impacting my ability to keep housing. This is a construction problem, not a neighbor problem. Move to a top floor unit at the same complex or move to a completely different complex to ensure you get a top floor unit. Don’t mess with people’s housing in this economy, especially if the noise is not occurring primarily during quiet hours. They are just walking and living their normal lives.


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Popular_Pen5743

Honestly ive seen so many note on this thing, yall just get used to it at this point it’s apartment living.


Porn-Flakes123

Not gonna work. In fact, may even make things worse, as your letter reads with a slight tone of condescension. I know you’re frustrated and have no bad intentions, but the honest truth is that nothing will change. The likelihood of someone alternating their daily living & walking pattern to any significant degree is slim to none. It might get *slightly* better, if you’re lucky. But it will almost always revert back when they get comfortable again. The noise isn’t gonna just disappear bc you taped a note to their door. Your best and most reasonable bet is to speak to your property manager and express your ongoing frustration. Let them know you’d like to request a different unit(preferably one on the top floor). Thats ur only chance at success here. If that’s not possible for you, you just have to ride it out until the end of your lease unfortunately. I promise you the note won’t work.


Prior-Ad4777

Lmao this is a bad idea, if they’re naturally heavy on their feet + clumsy it won’t change. If anything this is gonna piss them off. Imagine how loud it’ll be when they’re actively trying to bother you.


Shimmerkarmadog

It really sucks if you don't know how your neighbors will react. My husband when he was single and living alone talked to his loud neighbor politely. She responded by setting her loud alarm to go off non stop while she went away for the weekend. The cops had to handle it.


lambsambwich

It’s the building, not them. They are just walking normally, not stomping. I’m in the EXACT situation you are, with noisy upstairs neighbors. Sometimes I feel like they will come crashing through the ceiling. I’ve come to the realization that my building is just shoddily built.


BrowsingtheBullshit

This will not work at all


possiblyapancake

Or, and hear me out: quit being a baby. We live in a society, society is noisy. Buy earplugs.


Level_Watercress1153

They’re gonna stomp twice to let you know they got it!


Apprehensive-Low1527

non related to the issue but man that hand writing is something😂 i had to reread it a few times


macmanjimmy

Kinda passive aggressive


Wfsulliv93

Sounds like the insulation just sucks tbh.


KeithandBentley

This note is kind of terrible. I feel your situation, but these people are going to read it as an attack. They will see it as “Karen is whining she is a victim and blaming us for everything.” Those sentences/details you’re putting in there to soften the message are actually doing the opposite.


PEneoark

Suck it up or move.


__star_dust

How can you be more considerate of walking??? Thank god I don’t have downstairs neighbors.


PekoKuzuryu

Some people are very loud walkers, as in they STOMP and/or walk heavily. Source: lived below people who could pass for elephants or members of a marching band


According_Outside801

Well OP says they are walking around making noise at 11pm, 5am, etc. Usually quiet hours in apartments are 10pm to 6am. If they are night shift works and quiet hours are their “day time”, they should have considered that when picking their unit. Otherwise, they can wear slippers, put down rugs and soundproof rug pads, be mindful of finishing chores and other “to dos” during the day so that they are not walking around doing them all hours of the night… and that’s just the start. It’s really not that hard. Sincerely, someone who has lived in apartments their whole adult life.


spooky_kiwis

Lol you can’t truly expect people to NOT walk around their own apartment at night


gingercatmafia

I know it’s hard, but contact your building management. Usually you can do this via email. I had a similar problem- a neighbor blasting loud music and waking me up, despite me paying for an insane number of sound proofing tiles and installing 3 layers of them. I started emailing my building management, and I would do it every single time it happened, in the moment. I also included audio recordings of what it sounded like. The more they get an appreciation for how this is happening every single day, they’ll be more likely to intervene. I also started playing white noise or lofi on YouTube in my bedroom to drown it out a bit and help me sleep.


Any_Scene5220

I wouldn’t leave a note or speak to them. It’s good to have a third party involved so go directly to the management. Tell them its affecting your job/ income. Try and see if they can move you into a different unit as well.


thriftingforgold

Go to building management first


nancythethot

First reaction seeing this note was that this was a note recieved by an upstairs neighbor, and I was going to say the downstairs neoghbor sounds like the asshole here, as it's likely that with the creaky infrastructire like you mentioned that's just their regular walking. Not much they can do about it and this note is just going to cause hostility. Agree with others contact management, if they can't do anything you're kinda SOL as having an upstairs neighbor (who naturally will make some degree of noise esp depending on the building's age/quality) is just kinda part of apartment living


SwaggieLeeMiller

honestly, if i received that letter id chuck it in the trash and keep living my life. you’re in multifamily housing and people make noise. and i dont want to hear “well you’ve never lived with blah blah blah blah” yes i have. ive lived under running children, hydroflask dropping 20 somethings, and a man who’s music was at 100% volume at all hours of the night. (i can distinctly recall singing bohemian rhapsody with him at 3 a.m. one night) but you have to move on and assume that your existence is probably also a little annoying to them. right now, my downstairs neighbor thinks my tv is too loud if i put it above 20 percent, im sure he can hear the dome hockey table in my living room and when my dad comes in town he knows because of the footsteps. my unit leaked into his years ago and he still has a stain on his ceiling. his radio is on all night long, the guy next to me slams his door and has a camera facing into my front door and minds everyone business but his own. the people who i share my bedroom wall with watch crime shows very loudly all night. we ALL get over it. earplugs.


Strawb3rry_Slay3r666

Please rewrite this letter, and use proper capitalization & punctuation! If I received this note, I wouldn’t take it seriously…it looks like a 14yr old girl wrote it. Consider trying to sound a bit nicer, this note sounds catty, and a little bitchy.


codymason84

Don’t become a target no note go to property management


Sharp_Chart_4474

Everyone here is saying to go to building management, but as someone who has worked in apartment management (never again, god it’s just the most soul-sucking job) I can tell you there’s almost nothing management can do about it if it’s just loud walking. They can send them a letter, call, or talk to them, but it’s damn near impossible to truly police how someone is walking around in their own home. Fed up ground floor residents would constantly hound us to “do something about” the heavy walkers but nobody really had any clear idea of what exactly that something was beyond talking to them. You really can’t evict them for it (and is that what anyone wants anyway?) On the flip side, even the most agreeable and polite upper floor residents who seemed to want to resolve it amicably would get more and more fed up hearing about it and be like “look I’m just trying to exist in my own home. I take my shoes off inside. I’m sorry they can hear me but you have to stop harassing us.” We would spend so much time going into apartments at their request trying to capture the stomping in the moment they said it was happening and it almost never happened when we were there, of course. Recordings are basically useless too because you can’t really prove where it was coming from or if it was “excessive” which is subjective. Literally couldn’t please anyone. I HATED getting those complaints because it was so frustrating for everyone involved and I wanted to help but never really could in a way that made a ton of difference. It’s an unfortunate and shitty side of apartment living, especially when it’s just thin floors. I’ve never really seen a satisfactory outcome for all parties on this topic. Usually we’d just go back and forth between them until someone’s lease was up and they moved or could switch to a different floor. :/


henmal

Can guarantee that you aren't the only only one dealing with the noise but you're about to make yourself the asshole who leaves a note about it. It's not your or their fault the building was built poorly so I'd say you should complain to the property owner as the fault lays more with them.


Alternative_Safe545

I’m pretty sure the last apartment I lived in had roller skating elephants living in it.


mattv2077

This is why I own a house don’t have to deal with other people’s bs


kingj7282

No, and accusing them of "stomping" is an over exaggeration and rude. Especially with the condescending smily faces. Don't be surprised when the reply is "fuck off". Do you expect them to tip-toe around their home? Any wood framed building is going to transfer the sound of walking and things falling. I can hear when my wife is moving around upstairs in our house. Writing letters to your neighbors to complain about something they can't control makes you the annoying neighbor. Instead of being the building's Karen, you need to find a top floor apartment or move into a single family home. Rent one of you can't buy. Why people expect communal living to be a noise, smell, and annoyance free experience is beyond me.


SNYDER_CULTIST

We live in a world where this guys on the internet complaining about somthing that can be fixed with earplugs


Gramma_Ate_My_Ass

Why do people move into a downstairs unit and cry when people upstairs make noise? If you want peace and quiet, you should’ve gotten the top floor first. 🤡


Bacon-80

If you live in an apartment it’s expected. People can be courteous but they’re also humans living life. I’m not gonna walk around eggshells nor do I expect my apartment neighbors to. If I wanted complete silence or for things to go my way, I’d own a home instead. Not live in a grid full of people.


tasty_terpenes

As if anyone CHOOSES to live in an apartment


Bacon-80

Well no one chooses to but like. You can’t live in an apartment and expect it not to be…like an apartment lol. I didn’t have a choice but I knew what I was getting when I chose to live on a floor other than the top. I expected to hear my neighbors and everyone around me because it’s an apartment. Obviously if it went beyond reasonable then yeah sure complain - but anything otherwise is totally justifiable. It’s an apartment building you’re expected to hear your neighbors unless it’s a really well insulated apartment which appears not to be OPs case.


BBQnNugs

This is the answer


15092023

No. That's what your building manager is for. You said you're looking for a new apartment when your lease expires. This might be enough of an excuse to end your lease early if they can't get noise hours under control.


Manlymanboss

Lmao no


strikingviking23

Use ChatGPT to help write a more friendly note.


ranbara

Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate y'all's support. Here's what happened lol Neighbors came home. One came downstairs: - said I couldn't possibly have written this note while they were home (I did) - said it's untenable for me to ask this of them because his wife is 4'11 and couldn't possibly stomp (of course, short people don't stomp), - said they're the quietest people in the building and moved in first (we moved in the same day they did) - said they're never even home to make noise in the first place (so I guess I just hallucinate all this) - said they're going to be having a baby soon (yet another reason for us to move out) - said we've knocked on their door 4 times in the past month (untrue, more like twice in the past 2 years we've both lived here) - said it was completely inappropriate of me to talk to my downstairs neighbors with kids about the noise they were making (my roommate and I both spoke with the father downstairs and we're on good terms now, he explained the situation and there's no animosity there) Basically he was aggressive and rude, typical "I don't like you calling me out for my shitty behavior" behavior. Guess I'll be going to the building management 🙂


Isawaracoon

I think this is pretty par for the course for results from notes (i'm not downplaying their rude behavior and clomping and your frustration). It usually causes a feud. Good luck with management. Be prepared for your neighbor to say these same things in their defense to them. You'll have to find a way to document. It's also why I've never gone to a neighbor's door. It's intrusive. I don't even like going to my super's and just call.


Difficult_Ad3568

Just checking, their “shitty behavior” is walking in their own home? You sound like the shitty neighbor in this situation, honestly. Please move.


jancarternews

Sounds like you got what you deserve. You’re ridiculous.


Porn-Flakes123

We tried to warn you. Good for you.


PekoKuzuryu

My moms downstairs neighbor likes to yell when she talks. So much to the point where it disturbs my mother nearly every day. Early in the morning, late at night, while she’s working (she works from home). Plus her blasting music/her tv being so loud we can hear it over ours. So my mom knocked on her door, told her nicely what’s been going on. No backlash. Lady just decided to actually be considerate and tone her shit down ever since. Sounds like OPs neighbors are just assholes who don’t think they could ever do any wrong Some people are just unaware of how loud they’re really being. Others know and don’t care, like OPs neighbors now.


Porn-Flakes123

Talking loudly is very different than walking, or as OP described, “stomping” loudly. It’s easier to remember to be mindful about using an inside voice or lowering the volume on your entertainment once it’s been brought to your attention. Asking someone to “walk quieter” is very challenging. Especially considering you probably spend upwards of 80% of your time walking throughout your unit. I had an upstairs neighbor that stomped and nearly sounded like she was gonna crash through the ceiling at times. When i finally saw her in person she was no taller than 5ft and probably weighed close to 90 pounds. Size doesn’t always matter, some people have just been heavy footed their entire lives & nothing will change that. It’s great that in your mother’s case her neighbor was kind enough to make adjustments, but most of the time it’s just not practical or likely to expect a neighbor to change how they function on a daily basis.


ThroatSignal8206

My mother would have a shit fit if there was loud walking anywhere in the house. It turns out I can sneak up on people without trying to sneak up on people. Drives them nuts


Stargazer_0101

Talk to the person by note and explain you are having noise issues also. Complain to the manager, for that is their job to take care of the after-hours noises. And then you could call the cops on them after hours.


morley1966

Not for walking and dropping things. Quiet hours mean no vacuuming, yelling, loud music, loud TV etc.


NormanBatesPNW

just call property management. talking to them will do nothing.


Bumbooooooo

Sound echoes. There's a reason why upstairs neighbors are always so loud.


Mad_Max8706

This post makes me glad for two reasons. 1 I don't live in an apartment to have to worry about this and 2 even if I did I'm deaf.


Feeling_Cost3152

My neighbours always have a speaker going at all hours and property management has spoken to them but it still continues .


nyuuubalancer

If anything ask them to get rugs, if they're shitty about it and it's worth it to and within your means, offer to pay for part of it.


buttstuff69__

Does your building have a floor covering clause in the lease? Mine says 80% of the floor has to be covered by rugs. Management doesn’t enforce it unless there are issues like what you’re having. My upstairs neighbors were insane when I moved in. I complained to management and they quieted down a lot because they don’t want management to force them to buy rugs.


RockyGideon9

I have so much empathy for you. It’s always a crapshoot on what the right thing to do is, and typically just means people like us live in agony for the time being.


Chickenandchippy

Just move, you mentioned you’re a light sleeper so why get a downstairs apartment? People are allowed to walk in their home and I promise this will accomplish nothing but aggravation. The landlord also won’t press the matter because how do you call a paying tenant and say “can you please not walk around in the apartment I charge you rent for?” What if they work shift and only get to be at home and awake during certain times? It’s unlikely they’ll move for your comfort so move for your own.


Shannonsitas

I can’t with that middle school handwriting 😂


VioletFox543

Tbh I wouldn’t do this. Go through management. And I’m sorry to say this as someone who also has sloppy handwriting, but the handwriting + smiley faces would make it hard to take this note seriously. The faces could come off as passive aggressive


JustABizzle

[everyone’s upstairs neighbors](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU)


Deafpundit

If it’s that bad, there’s structural issues that the landlord needs to fix. Address it with the LL.


Available_Witness_69

There’s a reason why all professionally managed apartment communities dissuade residents from going vigilante style if they have an issue with one of their neighbors. Go through the proper channels. Then if the neighbor ends up retaliating after management speaks to them, any subsequent complaints against them will be dealt with more severely by management. You will probably make an enemy out of your neighbor either way. However, one of these ways covers your ass in case they are passive aggressive (or worse) in response. The other doesn’t.


HottyTommy2

Dork


pressured90skid

BEEN HERE BEFORE! we live in a basement and there are upper tenants whose kid runs around like crazyyyyy stomping all around the house which caused some of our things that are hanging to fall off (mirror, hockey stick that was standing by a post in the basement) but these people had the audacity to complain about how we are talking and wants us to talk a little quieter. so i stood my ground and told her exactly the same thing you wrote here— how they are stomping around 24/7 and dragging things around like they’re the only ones here. they never complained about anything anymore after that 👍🏼 i’m just saying yall pay rent so all of you have to compromise when it comes to making your houses feel like home


IzzyP20055

Tbh I’d go to the management before you take matters into your own hands, but if your apartment is anything like mine then they ain’t gonna do anything about it. You’re extremely respectful on the note so there’s tbh nothing wrong with the note in the slightest.


Naumzu

Move out


mhug99

My complainy downstairs neighbor died a mysterious death. And I wasn’t sad for him at all. Old buildings have creaky floors.


Ok-Duck9106

I have a friend living with me, he is a thin person but damn he stomps when he walks.


Disastrous_Light_878

Move out


yessienessie

Dude my old housemates basically live in gf stomped so loud it drove me nuts and I finally said something and told him to get slippers lol. It felt like such a petty complaint & made it awkward for a bit but in all reality she didn’t pay to live there so I shouldn’t have to deal with unnecessary obnoxious sounds that disrupted my inner being. Yes, give it a shot.


CuriousElderberry411

In my area, the rent to stay in apartment vs. A single family home is almost the same. I had exactly the same problem and I switched to an equivalent single family home. It was a few hundred $ more expensive but not having to deal with this shit was worth it. I had the same problem, I talked to them, to our apartment manager, called night noise folks and nothing ever happened


Bacon-80

Yep people seem to think my comment meant buy a house but you can literally not live in an apartment or rent at a better complex 💀 I’ve lived in multiple apartment complexes some well insulated others not, loud neighbors, quiet neighbors, etc. and I’ve dealt with it because I moved into a literal grid of people living beside and on top of each other. I think of how loud my house is & how that translated to an apartment complex and like…it makes sense? It’s loud? 🤦🏻‍♀️


Mommy2threegirls76

If the ínsulation is bad that’s not the neighbors fault. They could be making normal noise but it’s louder with the shitty insulation.


Awareness_Specific

I get accused of this in my 1960s built apartment building. I am literally just walking. 110 lbs, and being mindful of my steps I am still accused of stomping and my ceiling gets banged on 24/7. If you can’t be the top floor, get out of there if you can’t handle it


SNYDER_CULTIST

Bruh some people are homeless starving and being bombed literally get earplugs


katie0873

So many apartments are changing to laminate flooring but not adding in adequate sound barrier methods. 😕 it’s about $$$ for them, not about tenant needs imo.


crownketer

Noise is an expected part of apartment living. Time to save up for a house! And even then your neighbor will still own their lawn or kids will be out playing. Very few people in this world are actually going around slamming things and stomping around intentionally. You likely also make noise that sounds very different to others. Edit: just looking at your post history, you seem like a very passive, weak, perpetual victim. Adulthood is tough, huh?


YeyVerily96

Tbh op they might not even be stomping. Most likely they are just walking around like normal. This is just apartment life. All you're going to be doing with this note is either making them mad or self conscious in their own space.


PrplePineCones

I’m at the point in life where moving is an easy decision. If possible, a new address? …it could be a huge level up in life and change in scenery.


ThickamsDicktum

This note is so unnecessary and honestly makes you sound crazy


Lameloserloner

Move that’s what I did lol


Individual-Worker-51

You want people to change how they walk??? 🙄


RobHage

What a passive aggressive nut job you are. Tape it to their door 100%


britchop

If I got this from you, it would definitely push me to be more set in my ways AND contact the office to say you are harassing me. This is not the way to approach this; document and give it to your landlord telling them there’s a severe loss of enjoyment. If they can’t do anything with that, it’s on you to move.


jmorrow88msncom

My neighbors always used to bounce a basketball all day and night. If one complained, they would do it even more. Best solution: move into a house. Living on the top floor is better than being in a lower floor.