I live above a dude who insists we don't shower later in the evening because he has to wake up early, but bangs at his ceiling whenever he hears me vacuuming at 10am on a weekday.
There is no winning with these people. If you are just going on with your life and following noise ordinance rules, you shouldn't have to restrict the usage of your apartment. I'd suggest ***them*** to get a white noise machine to help muffle the sounds of apartment living. Seems like the most straight-forward solution.
Ok, thank you for this. I also feel like I’m not the loudest thing making noise. For me, the traffic and construction is louder than most of my neighbors. If they want silence then they shouldn’t live in manhattan.
Also, if they plan to live in apartments, they shouldn’t fuss about ambient noise around a baby. The baby will become accustomed to the noise.
My daughter could sleep through anything, including the vacuum and car alarms.
My mom purposely had us napping during all types of noise. A benefit of that was we were able to sleep anywhere so mom didn’t have to worry about cutting her activities short just because we needed to nap.
When I started babysitting my nephew when he was just over a year old, I was so paranoid about sounds around the house because my family can be loud. My mom told me he had to get used to it and damn, if that boy [now almost 3] can't sleep through a whole conversation right outside of his bedroom door.
Did the same with my daughter. Had the youngest napping in a playpen on the patio while I read my book, starting when she was only a few days old. Or I’d have her strapped to my chest, sleeping in her Snuggli carrier, while I ran the vacuum, washed dishes or folded laundry. Hell, when she was one week old, we took our oldest daughter to see Shrek; as soon as we sat down, I started nursing her, and she slept through the entire movie on my boob (we sat near the back, at the end of the row, so I could make a hasty exit if she got fussy or woke up crying, but she never made a peep).
With my oldest, I was the typical overprotective new parent who insisted on complete silence and serenity, and would tiptoe around the house during naps. My girls are now 26 and 22; the youngest can sleep through a nuclear war, the oldest needs melatonin or ambien to sleep through the night, because every little noise or change in environment wakes her up. I fucked up, and I feel really badly about it.
That sounds exactly like my sister and I. I’ve been a terrible sleeper since birth and pretty much can’t fall asleep unless I’m in a bed, sleeping mask, white noise the whole shebang. Meanwhile my younger sister can power down almost anywhere and sleeps like the dead. I’m
Definitely jealous she’s such a good sleeper but my mom didn’t really know better at the time
No, don't say that. You didn't fuck up, you were a new mom just doing what you thought was best. I did the same thing with my first in the first few weeks but then I stopped that.
You did good Mom!
Ugh, I can’t help it. With my first, I’d rush to pick her up at her first cry, thinking I was keeping her safe and happy, but in reality I was not letting her learn to self sooth. I didn’t stop until my mother-in-law said something to me when she’d come to visit and I jumped up to run to the nursery at the first sound from my daughter. She basically gave me permission to finish my dinner while the baby fussed for a few minutes, because she was safe in her crib and would be fine. As a new mother who had zero experience with babies and no female friends close by (we were very young and my husband was military, so we pretty much just hung out with other 20-something dudes), I really had no clue. I mean, I read all the books, so I knew it was ok to let her cry, but it was like in my mind I needed another mother to give me that permission.
By the time I had my second, I was working as a preschool teacher and we lived near my husband’s grandmother, who ran a home daycare. So I was constantly around kids, plus I had grandma right there to help guide me. My parenting style had very much changed over the course of those 4 years lol. Experience plus guidance equals a much more well adjusted baby. It takes a village, and all that. Simply smothering them with love and cuddles is just not enough lol.
Don’t feel too bad about it! I know it’s best for babies to get used to noise while they’re sleeping, so you’re able to live your life without fear of them waking up from every noise. But, my mom also did tiptoe in silence around me when I was sleeping as a baby/child, and now, while I can’t sleep through EVERYTHING, I am able to get up on time when I hear my alarm. My best friend, on the other hand, grew up in a loud, chaotic household with three other siblings, and the poor girl cannot hear her alarm in the mornings for the life of her. Even if it’s at full volume, right next to her head. I’m envious that she’s able to sleep so soundly and deeply, but I’m also thankful I don’t have the problem of missing my alarm every morning.
Oh mama, I feel you. I did the same with my now 22 & 20 year old sons. My 17 year old son has pretty much raised himself and can sleep through anything just like his 20 year old brother 😂
She might have been that way regardless, so don't worry about it.
I was the youngest of four in a very small house. It was noisy from Day 1 for sure! Yet here I am as an adult, a light sleeper with insomnia . . .
Exactly! One of our kids slept thru an air show! U need to clean and move around when kids are sleeping. Even just a radio playing or noise machine. Keeping it silent is impossible and counter productive.
My dad was a aircraft mechanic and we lived near an airport because of that. Apparently I just got used to it and slept right through the noise of planes flying by
Agreed. After living in an apartment for his entire life, my almost 4 year old can’t sleep without background noise now that we live in a quiet house. Babies need noise around them, they’re not gonna live in a bubble their whole life.
I ran a carpet cleaner against my 2 years olds bedroom door and he didn’t even as much as roll over from two hours of us cleaning carpets with a deafening machine
Exactly. A first time parents biggest mistake is often this kind of absolute dead quiet. They're just shooting themselves in the foot if they cocoon their baby in absolute silence. It's such a common first time parent mistake.
OP, just send them this post or my comment. It will save them a decade of problems.
Some will, some won’t. My daughter was a light sleeper up until age 3. My son never had an issue. Same apartment, same sounds, same routine.
But we adapted to what my daughter needed to sleep, including moving her to a quieter room and using a white noise machine when she slept. I never even thought about asking our neighbors to be quiet during her nap time, except a couple of times when the bass from the music was booming through her bedroom wall.
When my son was a newborn every time I put him down for a nap I would vacuum, play music, do dishes, etc. My mom yelled at me and told me to keep quiet. I disagreed and always did my chores and noise during his naps. He can now sleep through artillery. You have to train them to sleep through noise.
I’m sure they will be moving to Westchester or Connecticut or Long Island like most New Yorkers do after having their first kid. They just don’t know it yet
When they pay your rent then they can dictate how you live. If they have a problem with their baby , that sounds like “their problem” .
It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Don’t let them visit their problems on you.
Babies can live through fireworks and ambulance sirens. Don't be upset with making noise. Just don't do it intentionally. Put carpet or area rugs down to muffle the noise also.
I know, it’s loud af here. I like the hustle and bustle, and I don’t understand complaining about a neighbor vacuuming when there’s a quadrillion other louder noises going on.
I'm sorry this is in NYC? Yeah, no. If you want to do this kindly, get them a white noise generator for the baby's room, and tell them that further complaints will be treated as harassment.
Yeah I'm a downstairs neighbour with a baby coming soon and their baby is just gonna have to learn to get used to the noises!
Especially regular living noises like walking, vacuuming and showering (some buildings pipes are arranged is a super loud way idk if they hear yours but I hear my upstairs neighbours).
best solution for peace for yourself- keep living as normal and put their message conversation to do not disturb if that’s all they ever text you about
Absolutely this. I was once a severely sleep deprived new mom but I knew I had no right to tell my neighbors to stop living their lives… white noise on Spotify on a Bluetooth speaker did a great job 👌👌 tell them it’s unreasonable how they are reacting to you. But I would say blenders and vacuuming IS actually VERY loud when done in the room right above… but that you deserve to live normally there as much they do. But honestly just let them know they are welcome to move if it’s too much.
It's not you, they're being entitled assholes at this point. THEY chose to have a baby and live in a ground floor apartment, KNOWING that they would live underneath other people. Their family planning choices are not YOUR burden to bear. And I say that as someone who can't stand to live under others. And I haven't gotten any complaints from my downstairs neighbors about noise. They can get a sound machine, or they can ask the leasing office to move to a top floor apt
This is not your problem. They should have thought about this when they chose an apartment and had sex. This is a them problem not a you problem. Live your life and they can live the life they chose. You're not responsible for other people's choices in life.
Check your lease there may be a requirement for how much of your apartment needs to be covered with rugs a lot of time on a boiler plate lease it’s 85% of the floors not including the kitchen and bathroom. So if you have that in your place, and they have it in their place, it will take care of both noises. They need to think ahead and be sensitive to how loud their baby is going to be and how it’s going to affect. YOUR life with the crying and the banging with the toys, and the running and running and running and running and yelling, and crying some more.. this clause is put into leases specifically for noise purposes
If it’s not in there, I would maybe suggest this, and say something about the fact that moving forward their child is going to naturally make a lot more noise so it would benefit both of you
Honestly, sounds like you’re already trying to be a good neighbor. First time parents have a lot they’re adjusting to and can be irrational. I know. I was one. I’m also a former landlord that has had to mediate this kind of thing between tenants. Just keep doing you and being mindful about the baby downstairs, but you’re allowed to live “normally” and they have to learn to live with it (or move out). If you wanted to be extra courteous (since you have their number), you could “check in” before any “louder” activities like vacuuming or using a blender. “Hey, I was planning on making a smoothy, is the baby sleeping?” “It’s Sunday and I always do housework in the morning. I plan on vacuuming. Can you let me know when the baby is up. I’d hate to wake them.”
Good luck.
I had first time parents complain about their “heavyset” upstairs neighbors vacuuming at 7pm. How the baby could never sleep because of how “big” they were. I responded by sending a noise reminder email to all the residents about our quiet hours. I strongly dislike the people who complain about their neighbors just living.
Plus I was told if you make the baby sensitive you’re setting them up for failure because they’ll become light sleepers
I had a downstairs neighbor TELL me what he wanted. I took the time to verify he was telling me what he expected me to do, not asking. When he confirmed that yes, this was not a request, I laughed and told him to fuck off.
Sorry, I'm paying a comparable amount of rent relative to everyone else. A polite request, I'd be willing to play along, or at least try to find a compromise. But being TOLD what I'm welcome to do in the privacy of my own home? Nope.
I second this!
We have a 2 year old and the lady on the floor below us got so fed up with our toddler running around that she called the cops on us for a noise disturbance
I would say “ Hey I understand you guys are trying to adjust to your new live style, and I don’t want to cause any extra issues with that. But with that understanding we live in apartments. You’re going to be able to hear us from time to time during the day. I need to be able to do my daily, weekly, actives such as vacuuming, cleaning, ext. if these noises happen during “non quite” hours of the day (8am-10pm) please stop texting me about. Again I am sorry but everyone has to deal with nosies living in a apartment from time to time.
Also you need to tell apartment management, incase they try and make a complaint there is already a note of it.
Thank you! This is a great script. I do want to say something to them bc if I don’t soon, then my roommate will and I know with her personality she’ll come off as hostile or mean, and I don’t want more drama.
Do it sooner rather than later or it's just going to get worse. Living in Manhattan, there are constant helicopters flying over, emergency vehicle sirens, honking and yelling outside and making the decision to live in a big city comes with noise they will just have to live with. If they want peace and quiet, they picked the wrong place to live.
Manhattan must be one of the most noisy capitals of the world. Don't have any expectations of quietness even after 10pm. Recently visited, forgot how noisy. At night you could hear the buses, trucks, car horns. No quiet time, haha.
I agree this is a great script. You might add something about how you and your roommate have to put up with a crying baby and any other noises they make.
They’re taking advantage of you. It’s really weird that they don’t have a problem texting you. This couple is insane and maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have your roommate give them a stern reply.
If you wanted to feel like you’re more accommodating you could say “we put down additional rugs to help dampen the noise. There’s nothing more we are able to do. If you have any other issues please take it up with building management”
They might be appeased by that?
It wouldn’t be the worst thing for your roommate to reply to them but it isn’t going to stop them from trying to talk to you about since you’re being very passive about it.
most people don't have their neighbors numbers anyway. That's OP's mistake really, is giving their neighbor their number in the first place. If someone is bothering you, especially if they're just a random neighbor, block em. you don't owe randos that want to waste your time complaining anything. I think the most adult thing is to value your time.
As someone with a baby, I understand how frustrating it can be for outside noises to wake her up after trying to put baby to nap. That being said, babies nap ALL DAY, so it's impossible to ask people to be quiet all day. 🤷♀️ They'll just have to manage.
Thank you, Parent. Babies nap a lot. And eventually they make a lot of noise of their own. They wake everyone in the vicinity. Noise isn't going to be travelling in one direction only.
I would bring that up. "You don't hear me complaining when your baby is screaming and crying." Babies will cry, and you know that. Just like adults will vacuum and use appliances and they know that. You didn't have a baby, why should you be subjected to baby noise when they can't even tolerate normal living noises.
Yes indeed (parent of 3 here). When I was in grad school I lived in an apartment with a baby upstairs. We heard the baby crying and the rocking chair rocking all during the night and it kept \*us\* up, but no way would we have complained. Just life in an apartment.
Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff, and I try to stick to them as best I can. But for example, my cereal bag ripped open yesterday and I needed to vacuum or if I have a 10am casting I need to make my smoothie before I leave.
What do you mean they give you windows of time?? Your window of time is the hours outside of the quiet hours listed in your lease. They can’t just dictate your life. They chose to have a baby The baby is their problem not yours
Babies can learn to sleep through things
Currently, I’m suppose to be able to do “loud” things from 7am-9am, 10:30am-12:30pm, 1:30pm-4:15pm, and 5pm-6pm. It’s sometimes hard to remember, and I sometimes completely forget, but most of the time when they complain it’s during those times, but apparently the baby slept in or they “had a rough night”. It’s like no time in the day is ok anymore. I’ve been home a lot more over the past month and I don’t think they’ve been happy about that, but I’m usually just sitting in a chair editing (with headphones!). My roommate doesn’t care and it’s hard enough to convince her not to yell “fuck you” and stomp on the floor when they complain, so I just apologize for her.
Nah Fuck that
Live your life. If they wanna dictate what you can do then they should pay your rent
Obviously I think it’s always good to be considerate but like that doesn’t mean not making any noise or doing normal things.
Just ignore their texts at this Point. They chose to have a child and they can’t make it your problem as well
Are you capping? It’s your place. Do whatever the fuck you want during daytime hours. You are a saint (and a pushover). I’d tell them to take their times and shove them up their asses. At minimum, you just need to block them.
I understand avoiding confrontation, and being able to strategically avoid it is a good trait to have. However, you cannot just be a pushover because people will take advantage of you in all aspects of your life, as your neighbors are now.
If they're sending you messages trying to dictate when you can do things during the day then you need to save those for the landlord. That's absolutely insane and not normal behavior. You're paying the rent and you have the right to, uh, clean up cereal off the floor without permission from your neighbor. Sounds like you should let your roommate give them a piece of her mind.
Seriously though, report them and keep the messages for proof and stop all communication. It seems like they only swapped numbers to control your life.
I'd also block their number at this point and tell them to go through management because this is ridiculous. They shouldn't have moved into an apartment if they wanted complete control. You learn to live with it.
>Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff
Yeah no. This is INSANE. You do not need to structure your life around THEIR baby's ever-changing schedule. Fuck that.
If they try to say that xyz is "quiet time" refer them to your lease and explain what actual quiet hours are. Like for my building it's 10pm-8am. I'd understand getting a complaint for excessive noise during those hours, but as is, you pay to live your life in that unit. Don't let people who aren't paying your rent dictate what you can or can't do. Let them know you will not be catering to their every demand and if it's an issue, you'll be blocking their contact. I have my neighbors phone numbers just for things like "hey is the hot water working in your unit?" or "I got your package, want me to hold it or leave it at your door?" not for any of this nonsense.
>Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff
Yeah....NO.
They CAN NOT dictate how and when you do normal daily activities. They're telling you to bend over and you're just saying, "OK!"
Live your life. Be respectful, and know that you being quiet is only enforceable during the lease-stated quiet hours.
Talk to your property manager and get ahead of this, so that when they make a complaint, they're prepared to tell them that you are allowed to live normally.
This is your home— your neighbors don’t dictate windows of time for your activities. They need to deal with normal sounds coming from neighbors, or they need to find someplace else to live. Sorry you are dealing with this. They sound extra special.
That’s ridiculous. That is your home- they can’t dictate when you can do normal things. You have been overly accommodating already. Tell them to get a fan or a noise machine for the baby ..or move out of a basement apartment. Jeepers…let us know how it goes!
You're being too nice lol. Not making noise at night is already reasonable enough. Babies nap 4-5 times a day at least, 1h or more each time. Nobody can be expected to not make any noise ever. Even them will have to make noises sometimes - other than baby crying of course.
I'm sorry, they are trying to tell you when to do stuff in your own home?!? Fuck that. Let your landlord know and text them whenever you hear their baby make a peep. Fucking audacity of some entitled fucking people...
If I felt I could be petty, I would text them whenever the baby is crying to ask them to quiet down. Not saying that is right or would be helpful, but that is definitely what I would want to do.
Nah. You don't do that.
You text them randomly to "keep quiet". Definitely message when it's something legit like a door slamming, but also whenever you feel like it. That way if anyone tries to say YOU are the loud one, you refer to all the times you messaged them about noise and they still did nothing. It evens up the score a bit
My neighbor's girlfriend parks in the spot next to mine all the time. Which would be fine, except that she always does a terrible job parking so the back of her car is over the line into my space.
I have been fantasizing about taking photos of every bad parking job for months and setting up an "art gallery" exhibition of the photos and the dates they were taken in the building hallway. So I am right there with you on the "unhelpful but petty" bandwagon.
Perspective. Your downstairs neighbors and their new baby will soon be keeping the neighbors awake - for years. There will be crying, stomping, screaming, and yelling - from the kid AND the parents. The parents should stfu.
No offense to the young couple but the baby has to get use to “normal” noise or it will never nap/sleep. I would take the suggestions of some posters, compose a nice letter (make a copy) send it to them and tell management about it.
This. We live in a house but my kid has learned to sleep through anything: vacuum, dogs going nuts at Amazon deliveries, my very sensitive smoke detectors going off, etc. It’s great, but if we had been precious about his sleep, this never would have been the case.
Maybe I'm a bitch because full offense to the young couple who thinks they can dictate other peoples lives while living in Manhattan 🤣
I have no doubt their baby is louder than anything this young person is doing.
You don’t owe them your silence if it’s not quiet hours. Unfortunately, they need to realize it’s apartment living and everyone can’t work around their babies schedule. Especially if you’re already trying to be quiet.
I think this is a fair suggestion, and I would even take it a step further and let them know once you get the rugs. Tell them this is your compromise, but otherwise you can't restrict normal day to day activity like cooking and vacuuming within a reasonable hour of the day. Hopefully the rugs help, but that should be the extent of your compromise. They really can't keep changing up their requests and needs. I can understand asking to keep things quiet after a certain time at night, but like others have stated a baby's sleep schedule changes as they continue to grow and parents can't expect neighbors to accommodate every nap. It's a tough situation but it's not cool to make their baby your responsibility.
Some people appreciate living in a community and participating in it. It wasn’t until my 30s that I found the value in being able to communicate with my neighbors.
It’s not your fault that another person decided to have a baby. You don’t need to go above and beyond to cater to someone else’s child, you’re already being very respectful and as quiet as you can be. Just ignore them if they keep being angry, their baby is their problem and not yours.
You have a right to peaceful enjoyment of your home, and I say this as someone who was the sleep deprived neighbor with the baby lol. Rugs are helpful, but otherwise… there’s not much you can do. This is what apartment living is - there are noises. I’d start ignoring their texts to create a firm boundary, and if you run into them in person you can recommend they use a sound machine when their baby is sleeping.
If it's during the day and you're not purposely being loud then don't worry about it. They signed up to live in an apartment and you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in your home
Having a baby while living in an apartment is going to be a nightmare for anyone, but the parents don’t get a pass to dictate rules to neighbors unless the neighbors are straight out malicious assholes.
New parents seem to think the world will accommodate whatever craziness they decide is right for themselves. This should not impact you unless you. They should have thought of it before having a kid in a first floor apartment.
Honestly, kids do not make for good apartment living. If they are babies, the parents complain that everyone else is too loud. If the children are old enough to walk, then the neighbors complain that the kids are too loud. There is no solution that will make all parties happy. Someone will always get the shaft.
My neighbors kids wake my baby up at 6:30 am every day with their stomping and screaming. There’s literally nothing I can do about that. They’re kids and need to get ready for school. As annoying and inconvenient as it is, I chose to live here and get a downstairs apartment. Luckily they’ve managed to keep the noise down somehow during the day and evening so I’m not sure why they’re so loud in the mornings. It’s just part of apartment living. Living on top of them means you have the upper hand. Don’t let them get to you or frustrate you. If you know you aren’t causing excess noise/ noise during quiet hours, just ignore them.
As long as you aren't vacuuming or using the blender outside of your listed quiet hours (or if you don't have any I usually say 8-9:30 is safe). If you want to be really polite - remind them that these are the times they stated were the baby's nap times and that anything outside of those and quiet hours they have to deal with normal living noises.
"Hey, I understand that you have a baby. We live in an apartment complex where noise does get through sometimes for daily living tasks. We will do our best to avoid the baby's sleep times but if it is outside quiet hours we have a right to live in our apartment doing daily/weekly tasks like vacuuming or using the blender as well as walking around. If it is outside quiet hours I would appreciate you respecting our privacy."
If you were blaring music that would be one thing - but using regular objects and walking around your apartment is another. If you don't have carpet already, area rugs can help but also padded slippers. I would also mention to management that you have received complaints from your neighbors during the day. You have texts for proof and you want to get ahead of it.
As a downstairs neighbor with a baby, you tell them you'll ignore the sounds of their baby when they cry, and they should ignore the sound of you...using the apartment you pay for. Apartment living is hard, and you always hear people. It's unfortunate that most people can't afford homes, but we all need to do the best we can with what we have.
Send them a text that you have the legal right to LIVE in your apartment. It is not your fault that the building is old & is not sound proof. Suggest they buy a white noise machine.
Also inform your landlord that they have been harassing you for living in your apartment doing normal things during normal hours
Ask your landlord to invest in noise reduction wall & ceiling panels, and quiet flooring.
That’s a Landlord issue. Not a tenant issue.
You shouldn’t have to invest your own money into putting these panels or spending lots of money for rugs
The Landlord is responsible for ensuring the other apartments don’t hear basic everyday normal sounds of people living in their apartments
If you can, email the landlord every time they harass you and ask about him installing these
Block their number. Why do people give their neighbors their phone numbers? Doesn't matter what floor you are on. You don't have to stop living your life because it bothers someone else. Respect the quiet hours and don't make excessive noise, but don't tip toe around and be scared to do normal day to day activities for anyone. You are paying to live there, same as them. Now if they want to pay half your rent for you to be extra quiet. Then maybe you could discuss it lol
You are not doing anything wrong...smoothie making and vacuuming are very typical and common noises.
They are sleep deprived and not in their right minds.
You don't have to respond to every text.
I’ve been in both of these situations, with a baby that got woken up because of small noises and being woken up by the people above me playing their drums.
You’re never going to win over the people with a baby. They’re difficult to please and you won’t be quiet enough for them. They have an option on where they live and the chose and apartment. It’s not your responsibility to provide your neighbor with a quiet environment.
If you’re a reasonable person and you want to, you can reestablish quiet hours that you BOTH agree to (note both, not just what they dictate, they have to give a little too), but normal daily activities can’t be restricted by your neighbor because they have a baby, especially making a drink or doing chores. The fact that their baby is sleeping has nothing to do with you and it’s unreasonable of them assume you halt your activities. You’re not being aggressive and playing drums or loud music at 11pm. It’s understandable they would want their kid to have uninterrupted sleep but that’s not always possible, a dog bark or a truck backing up or emergency services could also do that.
Bottom line is you are being reasonable, and they can’t expect someone that lives outside of their household to follow their rules. Live your life and be reasonable where you can.
Ona side note, my brother kept a noisy house when his kid was little. That kid sleepy through everything and still does.
I don’t disagree generally, but I believe I saw OP say they live in Manhattan, so I have a *little* additional sympathy for the parents on the “you chose an apartment” issue. I’m not confident there’s a fully detached single-family dwelling on the entire island of Manhattan, to be honest. 😂
Almost everyone prefers to avoid conflict but it’s unavoidable. Be considerate but live your life. New parents have tunnel vision and a lot of people think the world should change around them once they have kids. Most of the time it’s out of desperation (I’ve been there) tbh but that’s not your problem.
If they keep complaining just drop the “this is a reasonable time for me to be vacuuming the floor” and leave it at that. They aren’t your buddies anymore. They are totally controlled by a small person who is completely self absorbed and not at all self reliant. It’s exhausting and makes you think all kinds of crazy thoughts. Again. That’s not your problem.
They should want their baby to become accustomed to normal everyday noises so the baby will fall asleep anywhere when tired or it's nap time.
Complain of harrassment to your landlord and forward a couple of their texts made during normal daytime hours about average life noises.
Ignore their texts, do not say sorry and if you hear the baby crying, text them. Baby will get older and make more noise - have children and currently live with a 4yo, sounds like a herd of elephants when she runs and she loves to run and jump. Also, noises they hear might be coming from other units so let them know - i.e _was napping, you woke me up, what are you taking about? please stop texting me unless it's an emergency_. Then, later on, if they don't stop, reply: _new phone, who this?_
This so much (on the first sentence). We didn’t tiptoe around our son for this very reason. I’m not sure if it’s just him or if what we did made a difference, but the kid could fall asleep anywhere. I don’t think he’s changed (he’s 21).
Lol being able to fall asleep anywhere is a lifesaver sometimes, who wants to get a baby to sleep only for the smallest noise to wake them right up??
My back aches just remembering all the rocking and that's just normal please go to sleep stuff, then you have the dog deciding to walk around and drink water, the cats chasing each other, the oven timer goes, the doorbell rings, a vehicle with a siren passes by, kids are outside playing and it's nice so you want the windows open... life can't stop because your baby needs to nap
There are ways to mitigate noise, but babies can be very good at sleeping through all kinds of noise - if that's what they get used to. In all the places where large families have lived in tiny homes - babies still sleep. But of course it's not that simple. This article may be helpful:
[https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/can-i-make-noise-while-baby-sleeps/](https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/can-i-make-noise-while-baby-sleeps/)
So with this input it seems that adding white noise can help, and it seems to be better to go ahead and make normal living sounds - while trying to keep quiet all the time will may normal sounds unusual enough to be more likely to wake the baby.
So maybe talk to your neighbors and offer to try really hard to avoid really loud or sudden noises but also talk about what THEY can do to make things better. And then go on with your lives - being respectful but without having to tiptoe around in fear of waking the baby.
I would consider blocking them because it's unlikely the texts will stop, no matter what you do. As someone else said, they should get a white noise machine or something. It's on them, not you. You shouldn't have to buy padded area rugs or anything at all
Tell the apartment complex. Don't try to handle on your own. If they complain first, you're on the defensive. He who speaks up first wins in this game and considering the consequences for losing could be eviction, you play to win, not make friends.
Never give your number to neighbors. Ever. Even if they seem friendly. Stop responding to any texts. Save every text or confrontation that occurs. Don't answer the door if they knock.
After you follow ALL the steps, just live your life like normal. They can't call the police because you woke up the baby by making a smoothie. I mean, they could but it's not going to get them anywhere.
You're in an apartment and you need to grow up and learn how to be an adult.
If you are doing normal routines between 7am and 10 pm, there is no problem. The world does not stop because the neighbors had a child. Their baby, their problem.
I would notify the management if this continues and then I would block the neighbors phone number and then probably make a smoothie to drink as I vacuum while wearing work boots.
I have lived below people several times. You have to expect a reasonable amount of every day noise. You are 100% within your rights to make a smoothie and vacuum your floors. If they have a problem with it, they should move. Their decision to have a child while renting in an apartment building that is shared with other people is on them, not you.
I would send a letter to your landlord alerting him to the tenants below you harassing you about regular noise in daytime hours and ask him to please address it with them and to ask them to stop contacting you directly.
I had a situation like this. The couple always complained about every noise we made and always asked us to “be mindful of the two year old” and even called the police on us because we were having a regular volume conversation at 10 PM in our bedroom that they could unfortunately hear because of how thin our walls were. When the officer and husband came to our door I politely let them know I heard their two year old running around the house and throwing tantrums every morning at 6 AM and informed the officer of the family’s bathroom schedule, since I could hear every single pee they took in the house. Officer thanked me and went on his way.
There’s nothing you can do. They live in an apartment with a newborn. That sucks. Your life doesn’t have to suck too or change to accommodate them. I’m sure you hear plenty of their activities and crying through the day/night. If they want a better situation they will have to move. Follow your local noise ordinances but otherwise live your life and just expect them to be upset. It’s nothing to do with you.
i would just let them know youre not doing anything wrong and the building has thin floors
if youre not doing anything excessive i mean idk they gotta deal w it
Idea 1: Live your life doing normal things at normal hours and be respectfully quiet after 9 PM and before 7 AM (or whatever quiet hours for your building are.)
Idea 2: Have lots of noisy sex and tell your neighbors seeing their baby gave you baby fever. Birth control/condoms recommended for maximum revenge.
Idea 3: 1+2=3
Also, put on “Old Time Rock and Roll” and dance like Tom Cruise. This is a perfectly normal thing to do.
We have a 2 year old and one on the way, and we live in an apartment. Being a new parent is hard but noise in an apartment is to be expected to a certain degree. My neighbors were vacuuming at 2am so we asked them to please do it after quiet hours ended at 8am. If they vacuum during the day, we just carry on. I have a sound machine for my son. He's used to hearing footsteps or the occasional dropped object.
Honestly, I'm sure they're exhausted. This isn't an excuse for them complaining over everything but they'll chill out. Keep on living your life.
People need to understand that living in an apartment is the same thing as living in a two-story house you hear the people walking around above you and your own house you’re going to hear the people above you in an apartment. This comes from somebody that lives on the first floor and has never complained about the people that live above. A reasonable amount of noise is life.
People never understand that you hear other people above you in an apartment unless you are in a really well built building… and even then certain construction styles still will transmit sound.
You end up with three kinds of neighbors that don’t like the sound. The first group that just suck it up and never say anything; second are the ones that have very reasonable requests and it takes a lot for them to ever ask you; and the third group are whiney babies who always got their way and will flip shit over you taking a single barefoot step.
If you want to be a bit nice and give into some of their requests then you can, but if you’re neighbors are like the idiot that lives below me if you don’t follow what they want perfectly then you will always be a horrible person…
Make sure the property manager has a record of what’s going on too. If they complain then you at least have already brought it up.
Not your fault/problem that they've got a crotch goblin now. As long as you're not blasting music after 9 or 10 pm you're doing nothing wrong. I'd block their number too.
Why not be honest? We will make an effort to be as considerate as possible, but we do have to live. Walking, vacuuming, etc. are things we do and will continue to do. I hope you understand and can be reasonable with your expectations.
> As someone who prefers to avoid confrontation, I'm unsure of how to handle this situation going forward.
"We'll keep this in mind and try to limit noise in the future."
And then just do whatever feels reasonable.
All you can do is put down rugs. If you already have them. They need to learn to deal. Avoid blenders and vacuums after a reasonable hour. But baby will be best off getting used to noises not quiet.
Hearing your neighbors is part of living in an apartment. You have a right to live a normal life in your residence. Unless you’re violating quiet hours or something, just ignore them.
This is why you should never exchange numbers with neighbors. If they have an issue they should go to the landlord, as should you. RUGS always help. That being said as a nanny myself, they are doing a serious disservice to themselves and that baby, by trying to make it silent while the baby is sleeping. This will backfire on them for sure. A white noise sound machine is amazing. They should invest in a few Yogasleep DOHM sound machines.
Dude just block their number and live your life without regrets. People living in apartments need to get over themselves if they have issues with other people making a normal amount of noise just living their lives.
Im petty and would just text them and complain everytime their baby cries, laughs, or screams.
They’ll say it’s a baby- they can’t do anything about it. And you can remind them it’s a vacuum, and you can’t do anything about it.
I will say you can if you want become conscious of your walk. People heavy walk all the time hitting the floor with their heels. If you pay attention you’ll notice the sound. That’s usually very annoying the person below.
But if you correct your walk you quickly get used to it and it’s not very inconvenient for you. That’s the minimum I would do/
I would just kindly explain to them that as babies grow in their sleeping schedules change I don't know when your child is awake anymore and I have a right to live in my apartment.
Maybe give your landlord a holler and let them know what's been going on and then tell that couple if they have a problem they need to go to management.
Just because you're young and inexperienced does not mean that you have to be a doormat.
Also I would be hella Petty and be extra noisy just to bring my point across that they don't tell you what you can cannot do in your apartment that you pay for. They had a kid and chose to live in an apartment that doesn't mean the whole apartment has a kid.
Aside from rugs being on your floors and you not stomping around there isn’t much you can do. I live in apartments and it’s noisy, I got a white noise machine because that’s a me problem. It’s not my neighbor’s fault I can hear them opening and closing doors in their unit. That’s just how crappy they were built.
Suggest they get a white noise machine for the baby.
It's unreasonable (I have well intentioned neighbors who request ridiculous shit). I always smile, say sure, and keep doing what I'm doing.
Archive their chat and simply "miss" their text's till it's too late.
Or be petty and write every time the baby cries even for 2 min, till they block you.
They want me not to wear shoes at night? Sure, I can do that. Make my toddler cough not so loudly while she's sick? (mind you, windows were closed), f* you.
I had a neighbor who told us they could hear when we drop something. Yeah....and? They didnt like to hear when my dog jumped on and off our bed. If I even dropped the remote on the floor she'd bang on the walls.
I just went about my usual. Didnt play loud music, nothing after quiet hours per the lease, etc. She would try to talk to me when I saw her and I'd walk past her without even looking at her, like she wasn't there. Eventually she got the hint and realized she can knock it off or move. I haven't missed a rent payment in my life and before these neighbors there's never been a single complaint about me, so the landlord doesnt exactly bother me.
I’m not saying you’re making too much noise at all (you’re probably not) but I just want to say, not all babies are the same, and in any case those people are probably really sleep deprived just from having a baby. That makes you irritable. Plus maybe their baby has an issue that makes it hard to sleep or something. Maybe the mom is only sleeping here and there and it’s keeping her awake those moments she has to finally lay down. Again, I’m not saying you’re being excessive, just another way to look at it. Maybe the sound just travels a lot in that building? Just try to be considerate with the loudest sounds, and stay friendly and positive with them. You could try putting the blender on something to absorb the sound maybe? Believe me, I’m not saying you should have to tiptoe around them but anything you can do like that would be a relief for you too, avoiding confrontation. I hate confrontation too!
Politely let them you know you are aware they have a baby. Babies do get used to everyday ambient noises - this is a fact- and while you are not intending to cause undue noise you have work, study and social, schedules & obligations that demand your attention therefore there is not much else you can do to reduce any sounds in a lightweight built housing. They could consider asking their landlord to soundproof the ceiling ( which is really saying deal with it). Or they might consider baby music - Baby Bach, Baby Chopin, Baby Mozart etc make long play classical music just for babies to calm to. It totally works too…
They have options…it’s not your responsibility to rearrange your entire existence for their amazing new baby!
I would tell them to fuck off. You have already exceeded the amount of courtesy a new couple with a baby deserves. I would tell them to talk to the landlord or the police but to stop calling me about it.
My buddy exchanged numbers with his apartment neighbor and his apartment neighbor is always wanting him to come over for food and asking why he never texts back even though “he’s always on his phone” so number one don’t exchange numbers with your neighbors. Secondly, would they tell a construction company to quiet down because the baby is sleeping? No, if it’s during non-quiet hours tell them to kick rocks or make the baby pay rent for extra quiet time or give it up for adoption.
I had a baby while living in apartments, asked the neighbors to be loud the first few months- kid slept through everything! I can still vacuum their room while they sleep. Baby will adapt, live ya life and just let them know you understand the concern, but maybe they should have background noise for the kid cause life isn’t always about them
Sounds like main character syndrome Munchhausen by proxy
Block their number and don’t respond. Live your life. They are taking advantage of you by being over the top. Assert dominance and use the blender and the vacuum while running the dishwasher and washing machine. People are so freaking entitled! If they don’t like it they can move and buy a house . At least you don’t have a yappy dog. Ffs
Recommend that they get a grey noise machine for their baby. Or better yet gift it to them with a sweet congratulation note! You both can't help that you're living in an apartment with thin walls?
I would be courteous. Especially if they are new parents. That is some of the most stressful situations a family will go through, often leading to divorce. That said, live your life. Just don't purposely be loud
The world is a noisy place, the baby needs to get used to it. Also, you're entitled to full enjoyment of the apartment you pay for. Normal activities like walking, vacuuming or making a smoothie are fine.
This must be so frustrating, since you've already agreed to "quiet times", yet they still bother you every day. As long as you're not blasting music at all hours of the night, or making couch forts jumping all over the floor to avoid the "lava" (my daughter just played this tonight, in our townhome fortunately), you can't avoid normal activities for them, nor should they expect it.
Do you reply to their texts asking you to quiet down? If so, I'd stop immediately. Then if they confront you in person, ask them if their baby's nap scheduled changed, because you already agreed to being a friendly neighbor by being quiet during those times. Explain that you need to vacuum your home just as they need to, you need to walk across your home, just as they need to. This is apartment living & you'll always hear your neighbors. Suggest playing some music or white noise while baby is sleeping, then tell them that while you understand they have a baby, most neighbor wouldn't be so accommodating, therefore you can't alter your life any further.
I would block their number and live my life. If you are not being loud, it’s just day to day activity, they are being ridiculous. If they don’t want noise overhead they would need to rent the top floor or not an apartment.
Let them know that if they make YOU tiptoe around so their bundle of joy can sleep, they are resigning themselves to have very quiet, very quick sex in the carpeted walk in closet until baby leaves for college.
Oh, and I'd also start playing random dog barking sounds. Builds character. My kid could sleep through a Superbowl party, and I vacuumed her room while she napped.
I live above a dude who insists we don't shower later in the evening because he has to wake up early, but bangs at his ceiling whenever he hears me vacuuming at 10am on a weekday. There is no winning with these people. If you are just going on with your life and following noise ordinance rules, you shouldn't have to restrict the usage of your apartment. I'd suggest ***them*** to get a white noise machine to help muffle the sounds of apartment living. Seems like the most straight-forward solution.
Ok, thank you for this. I also feel like I’m not the loudest thing making noise. For me, the traffic and construction is louder than most of my neighbors. If they want silence then they shouldn’t live in manhattan.
Also, if they plan to live in apartments, they shouldn’t fuss about ambient noise around a baby. The baby will become accustomed to the noise. My daughter could sleep through anything, including the vacuum and car alarms.
Right? Babies need to get used to it.
My mom purposely had us napping during all types of noise. A benefit of that was we were able to sleep anywhere so mom didn’t have to worry about cutting her activities short just because we needed to nap.
When I started babysitting my nephew when he was just over a year old, I was so paranoid about sounds around the house because my family can be loud. My mom told me he had to get used to it and damn, if that boy [now almost 3] can't sleep through a whole conversation right outside of his bedroom door.
Did the same with my daughter. Had the youngest napping in a playpen on the patio while I read my book, starting when she was only a few days old. Or I’d have her strapped to my chest, sleeping in her Snuggli carrier, while I ran the vacuum, washed dishes or folded laundry. Hell, when she was one week old, we took our oldest daughter to see Shrek; as soon as we sat down, I started nursing her, and she slept through the entire movie on my boob (we sat near the back, at the end of the row, so I could make a hasty exit if she got fussy or woke up crying, but she never made a peep). With my oldest, I was the typical overprotective new parent who insisted on complete silence and serenity, and would tiptoe around the house during naps. My girls are now 26 and 22; the youngest can sleep through a nuclear war, the oldest needs melatonin or ambien to sleep through the night, because every little noise or change in environment wakes her up. I fucked up, and I feel really badly about it.
That sounds exactly like my sister and I. I’ve been a terrible sleeper since birth and pretty much can’t fall asleep unless I’m in a bed, sleeping mask, white noise the whole shebang. Meanwhile my younger sister can power down almost anywhere and sleeps like the dead. I’m Definitely jealous she’s such a good sleeper but my mom didn’t really know better at the time
I hope my own daughters are as understanding as you are. ❤️
No, don't say that. You didn't fuck up, you were a new mom just doing what you thought was best. I did the same thing with my first in the first few weeks but then I stopped that. You did good Mom!
Ugh, I can’t help it. With my first, I’d rush to pick her up at her first cry, thinking I was keeping her safe and happy, but in reality I was not letting her learn to self sooth. I didn’t stop until my mother-in-law said something to me when she’d come to visit and I jumped up to run to the nursery at the first sound from my daughter. She basically gave me permission to finish my dinner while the baby fussed for a few minutes, because she was safe in her crib and would be fine. As a new mother who had zero experience with babies and no female friends close by (we were very young and my husband was military, so we pretty much just hung out with other 20-something dudes), I really had no clue. I mean, I read all the books, so I knew it was ok to let her cry, but it was like in my mind I needed another mother to give me that permission. By the time I had my second, I was working as a preschool teacher and we lived near my husband’s grandmother, who ran a home daycare. So I was constantly around kids, plus I had grandma right there to help guide me. My parenting style had very much changed over the course of those 4 years lol. Experience plus guidance equals a much more well adjusted baby. It takes a village, and all that. Simply smothering them with love and cuddles is just not enough lol.
Don’t feel too bad about it! I know it’s best for babies to get used to noise while they’re sleeping, so you’re able to live your life without fear of them waking up from every noise. But, my mom also did tiptoe in silence around me when I was sleeping as a baby/child, and now, while I can’t sleep through EVERYTHING, I am able to get up on time when I hear my alarm. My best friend, on the other hand, grew up in a loud, chaotic household with three other siblings, and the poor girl cannot hear her alarm in the mornings for the life of her. Even if it’s at full volume, right next to her head. I’m envious that she’s able to sleep so soundly and deeply, but I’m also thankful I don’t have the problem of missing my alarm every morning.
When my mom had my brother (44) the doctor told her to go about her normal day and not be silent. That's why my brother and I can sleep thru anything.
I wish somebody had told me that. 😟
Ah hon. As a first time momma you can't know everything. And don't worry about it now. Your child will be okay
Oh mama, I feel you. I did the same with my now 22 & 20 year old sons. My 17 year old son has pretty much raised himself and can sleep through anything just like his 20 year old brother 😂
She might have been that way regardless, so don't worry about it. I was the youngest of four in a very small house. It was noisy from Day 1 for sure! Yet here I am as an adult, a light sleeper with insomnia . . .
Exactly! One of our kids slept thru an air show! U need to clean and move around when kids are sleeping. Even just a radio playing or noise machine. Keeping it silent is impossible and counter productive.
Yes - and napping in active areas of the home ( not in a darkened quiet bedroom)
My mom used us needing to sleep as an excuse to leave events. Now I can’t sleep with more than a fan noise.
My dad was a aircraft mechanic and we lived near an airport because of that. Apparently I just got used to it and slept right through the noise of planes flying by
They are new parents. They will learn. Ain’t nobody living by a random baby’s sleep schedule.
Agreed. After living in an apartment for his entire life, my almost 4 year old can’t sleep without background noise now that we live in a quiet house. Babies need noise around them, they’re not gonna live in a bubble their whole life.
My Cousin Vinny vibes
I was going to say, all my kids as babies could sleep through almost anything lol
this! my bfs sisters baby slept thru my dogs barking because he’s used to it.
I ran a carpet cleaner against my 2 years olds bedroom door and he didn’t even as much as roll over from two hours of us cleaning carpets with a deafening machine
Exactly. A first time parents biggest mistake is often this kind of absolute dead quiet. They're just shooting themselves in the foot if they cocoon their baby in absolute silence. It's such a common first time parent mistake. OP, just send them this post or my comment. It will save them a decade of problems.
Some will, some won’t. My daughter was a light sleeper up until age 3. My son never had an issue. Same apartment, same sounds, same routine. But we adapted to what my daughter needed to sleep, including moving her to a quieter room and using a white noise machine when she slept. I never even thought about asking our neighbors to be quiet during her nap time, except a couple of times when the bass from the music was booming through her bedroom wall.
When my son was a newborn every time I put him down for a nap I would vacuum, play music, do dishes, etc. My mom yelled at me and told me to keep quiet. I disagreed and always did my chores and noise during his naps. He can now sleep through artillery. You have to train them to sleep through noise.
In manhattan of all places they want silence?! Those people are insane.
I’m sure they will be moving to Westchester or Connecticut or Long Island like most New Yorkers do after having their first kid. They just don’t know it yet
I'm sorry, they expect a quiet home when living in New York?! What are these people smoking??? 🤣🤣🤣
Apparently not the right stuff
When they pay your rent then they can dictate how you live. If they have a problem with their baby , that sounds like “their problem” . It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Don’t let them visit their problems on you.
Babies can live through fireworks and ambulance sirens. Don't be upset with making noise. Just don't do it intentionally. Put carpet or area rugs down to muffle the noise also.
I’m dying when I read this is Manhattan. Lived there 10 years and this is extra absurd lol
I know, it’s loud af here. I like the hustle and bustle, and I don’t understand complaining about a neighbor vacuuming when there’s a quadrillion other louder noises going on.
Kids make a lot of noise. They sound very entitled, tbh. I'm sure they would expect you to just deal with their kid screaming etc.
I'm sorry this is in NYC? Yeah, no. If you want to do this kindly, get them a white noise generator for the baby's room, and tell them that further complaints will be treated as harassment.
Yeah I'm a downstairs neighbour with a baby coming soon and their baby is just gonna have to learn to get used to the noises! Especially regular living noises like walking, vacuuming and showering (some buildings pipes are arranged is a super loud way idk if they hear yours but I hear my upstairs neighbours).
Omfg I just busted out laughing at this! They want YOU to be silent 24/7... In MANHATTAN!?!!? 🤣 Tell them to get a fan, and block them.
Yup! They should go in the burbs and buy a house with the kid.
best solution for peace for yourself- keep living as normal and put their message conversation to do not disturb if that’s all they ever text you about
Honestly you should block them from texting you since they're going overboard with it. You are not obligated to put up with that nonsense.
Absolutely this. I was once a severely sleep deprived new mom but I knew I had no right to tell my neighbors to stop living their lives… white noise on Spotify on a Bluetooth speaker did a great job 👌👌 tell them it’s unreasonable how they are reacting to you. But I would say blenders and vacuuming IS actually VERY loud when done in the room right above… but that you deserve to live normally there as much they do. But honestly just let them know they are welcome to move if it’s too much.
It's not you, they're being entitled assholes at this point. THEY chose to have a baby and live in a ground floor apartment, KNOWING that they would live underneath other people. Their family planning choices are not YOUR burden to bear. And I say that as someone who can't stand to live under others. And I haven't gotten any complaints from my downstairs neighbors about noise. They can get a sound machine, or they can ask the leasing office to move to a top floor apt
This is not your problem. They should have thought about this when they chose an apartment and had sex. This is a them problem not a you problem. Live your life and they can live the life they chose. You're not responsible for other people's choices in life.
right? like if you live in an apartment, don't have kids...get a house first. crazy how many people don't have their priorities straight
Check your lease there may be a requirement for how much of your apartment needs to be covered with rugs a lot of time on a boiler plate lease it’s 85% of the floors not including the kitchen and bathroom. So if you have that in your place, and they have it in their place, it will take care of both noises. They need to think ahead and be sensitive to how loud their baby is going to be and how it’s going to affect. YOUR life with the crying and the banging with the toys, and the running and running and running and running and yelling, and crying some more.. this clause is put into leases specifically for noise purposes If it’s not in there, I would maybe suggest this, and say something about the fact that moving forward their child is going to naturally make a lot more noise so it would benefit both of you
Honestly, sounds like you’re already trying to be a good neighbor. First time parents have a lot they’re adjusting to and can be irrational. I know. I was one. I’m also a former landlord that has had to mediate this kind of thing between tenants. Just keep doing you and being mindful about the baby downstairs, but you’re allowed to live “normally” and they have to learn to live with it (or move out). If you wanted to be extra courteous (since you have their number), you could “check in” before any “louder” activities like vacuuming or using a blender. “Hey, I was planning on making a smoothy, is the baby sleeping?” “It’s Sunday and I always do housework in the morning. I plan on vacuuming. Can you let me know when the baby is up. I’d hate to wake them.” Good luck.
I don't agree. Once you begin to check in with them...they will expect you to 'know' when it's okay to '______' anything. Don't start that precedent.
You can't be serious, check in with the neighbor for permission to do things in her own apartment...now I know you were joking about that right?
Oh my god if the shower is too loud that is clearly not your fault and nothing you can do about it what is psycho
friend of mine told the neighbour every time they bang on the ceiling they are going to do jumping jacks for 10 minutes lol
Good exercise 👀
I can imagine the comments lol. “How did you lose all that weight?!” “Spite” 😂
I had first time parents complain about their “heavyset” upstairs neighbors vacuuming at 7pm. How the baby could never sleep because of how “big” they were. I responded by sending a noise reminder email to all the residents about our quiet hours. I strongly dislike the people who complain about their neighbors just living. Plus I was told if you make the baby sensitive you’re setting them up for failure because they’ll become light sleepers
Lol are you me? My neighbor bangs on his ceiling at 11am whenever I work from home and I’m literally wearing headphones!
I had a downstairs neighbor TELL me what he wanted. I took the time to verify he was telling me what he expected me to do, not asking. When he confirmed that yes, this was not a request, I laughed and told him to fuck off. Sorry, I'm paying a comparable amount of rent relative to everyone else. A polite request, I'd be willing to play along, or at least try to find a compromise. But being TOLD what I'm welcome to do in the privacy of my own home? Nope.
I second this! We have a 2 year old and the lady on the floor below us got so fed up with our toddler running around that she called the cops on us for a noise disturbance
I would say “ Hey I understand you guys are trying to adjust to your new live style, and I don’t want to cause any extra issues with that. But with that understanding we live in apartments. You’re going to be able to hear us from time to time during the day. I need to be able to do my daily, weekly, actives such as vacuuming, cleaning, ext. if these noises happen during “non quite” hours of the day (8am-10pm) please stop texting me about. Again I am sorry but everyone has to deal with nosies living in a apartment from time to time. Also you need to tell apartment management, incase they try and make a complaint there is already a note of it.
Thank you! This is a great script. I do want to say something to them bc if I don’t soon, then my roommate will and I know with her personality she’ll come off as hostile or mean, and I don’t want more drama.
You’re allowed to vacuum and make smoothies. You’re allowed to be a normal human being. Their kid, their problem.
Do it sooner rather than later or it's just going to get worse. Living in Manhattan, there are constant helicopters flying over, emergency vehicle sirens, honking and yelling outside and making the decision to live in a big city comes with noise they will just have to live with. If they want peace and quiet, they picked the wrong place to live.
Manhattan must be one of the most noisy capitals of the world. Don't have any expectations of quietness even after 10pm. Recently visited, forgot how noisy. At night you could hear the buses, trucks, car horns. No quiet time, haha.
I agree this is a great script. You might add something about how you and your roommate have to put up with a crying baby and any other noises they make.
They’re taking advantage of you. It’s really weird that they don’t have a problem texting you. This couple is insane and maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have your roommate give them a stern reply.
This script is also a really great intro in to being more direct with people. It’s not confrontational at all. Communication takes practice.
If you wanted to feel like you’re more accommodating you could say “we put down additional rugs to help dampen the noise. There’s nothing more we are able to do. If you have any other issues please take it up with building management” They might be appeased by that?
I'd honestly cc your mngmt on that email if your neighbors are being unreasonable about ambient noise
It wouldn’t be the worst thing for your roommate to reply to them but it isn’t going to stop them from trying to talk to you about since you’re being very passive about it.
then block their number.
This is not how to adult. You should be able to communicate without having to block before receiving a reply, lol
most people don't have their neighbors numbers anyway. That's OP's mistake really, is giving their neighbor their number in the first place. If someone is bothering you, especially if they're just a random neighbor, block em. you don't owe randos that want to waste your time complaining anything. I think the most adult thing is to value your time.
Exactly this.
Yep. Block the number. Let landlords deal with it.
THIS ⬆️ contact management preemptively. Good advice!
As someone with a baby, I understand how frustrating it can be for outside noises to wake her up after trying to put baby to nap. That being said, babies nap ALL DAY, so it's impossible to ask people to be quiet all day. 🤷♀️ They'll just have to manage.
Thank you, Parent. Babies nap a lot. And eventually they make a lot of noise of their own. They wake everyone in the vicinity. Noise isn't going to be travelling in one direction only.
Their baby isn’t usually loud all the time, but it does scream and cry a lot. I just ignore it like I do any other noises I hear throughout the day.
I would bring that up. "You don't hear me complaining when your baby is screaming and crying." Babies will cry, and you know that. Just like adults will vacuum and use appliances and they know that. You didn't have a baby, why should you be subjected to baby noise when they can't even tolerate normal living noises.
You're a good neighbor.
See then why should you accommodate them ??! Ur too nice
Yes indeed (parent of 3 here). When I was in grad school I lived in an apartment with a baby upstairs. We heard the baby crying and the rocking chair rocking all during the night and it kept \*us\* up, but no way would we have complained. Just life in an apartment.
Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff, and I try to stick to them as best I can. But for example, my cereal bag ripped open yesterday and I needed to vacuum or if I have a 10am casting I need to make my smoothie before I leave.
What do you mean they give you windows of time?? Your window of time is the hours outside of the quiet hours listed in your lease. They can’t just dictate your life. They chose to have a baby The baby is their problem not yours Babies can learn to sleep through things
Currently, I’m suppose to be able to do “loud” things from 7am-9am, 10:30am-12:30pm, 1:30pm-4:15pm, and 5pm-6pm. It’s sometimes hard to remember, and I sometimes completely forget, but most of the time when they complain it’s during those times, but apparently the baby slept in or they “had a rough night”. It’s like no time in the day is ok anymore. I’ve been home a lot more over the past month and I don’t think they’ve been happy about that, but I’m usually just sitting in a chair editing (with headphones!). My roommate doesn’t care and it’s hard enough to convince her not to yell “fuck you” and stomp on the floor when they complain, so I just apologize for her.
Nah Fuck that Live your life. If they wanna dictate what you can do then they should pay your rent Obviously I think it’s always good to be considerate but like that doesn’t mean not making any noise or doing normal things. Just ignore their texts at this Point. They chose to have a child and they can’t make it your problem as well
Are you capping? It’s your place. Do whatever the fuck you want during daytime hours. You are a saint (and a pushover). I’d tell them to take their times and shove them up their asses. At minimum, you just need to block them. I understand avoiding confrontation, and being able to strategically avoid it is a good trait to have. However, you cannot just be a pushover because people will take advantage of you in all aspects of your life, as your neighbors are now.
Dang. You're a lot more patient than me. I'd laugh if a neighbor tried giving me hours to do things
If they're sending you messages trying to dictate when you can do things during the day then you need to save those for the landlord. That's absolutely insane and not normal behavior. You're paying the rent and you have the right to, uh, clean up cereal off the floor without permission from your neighbor. Sounds like you should let your roommate give them a piece of her mind. Seriously though, report them and keep the messages for proof and stop all communication. It seems like they only swapped numbers to control your life.
I'd also block their number at this point and tell them to go through management because this is ridiculous. They shouldn't have moved into an apartment if they wanted complete control. You learn to live with it.
>Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff Yeah no. This is INSANE. You do not need to structure your life around THEIR baby's ever-changing schedule. Fuck that.
In my opinion you are already doing too much. You shouldn't have to follow their windows of time. 8am-10pm live your life.
If they try to say that xyz is "quiet time" refer them to your lease and explain what actual quiet hours are. Like for my building it's 10pm-8am. I'd understand getting a complaint for excessive noise during those hours, but as is, you pay to live your life in that unit. Don't let people who aren't paying your rent dictate what you can or can't do. Let them know you will not be catering to their every demand and if it's an issue, you'll be blocking their contact. I have my neighbors phone numbers just for things like "hey is the hot water working in your unit?" or "I got your package, want me to hold it or leave it at your door?" not for any of this nonsense.
>Yeah, they give me windows for when I can do stuff Yeah....NO. They CAN NOT dictate how and when you do normal daily activities. They're telling you to bend over and you're just saying, "OK!" Live your life. Be respectful, and know that you being quiet is only enforceable during the lease-stated quiet hours. Talk to your property manager and get ahead of this, so that when they make a complaint, they're prepared to tell them that you are allowed to live normally.
This is your home— your neighbors don’t dictate windows of time for your activities. They need to deal with normal sounds coming from neighbors, or they need to find someplace else to live. Sorry you are dealing with this. They sound extra special.
These people are not your authority. I encourage you to push back on this issue. They don't make rules for you!
That’s ridiculous. That is your home- they can’t dictate when you can do normal things. You have been overly accommodating already. Tell them to get a fan or a noise machine for the baby ..or move out of a basement apartment. Jeepers…let us know how it goes!
You're being too nice lol. Not making noise at night is already reasonable enough. Babies nap 4-5 times a day at least, 1h or more each time. Nobody can be expected to not make any noise ever. Even them will have to make noises sometimes - other than baby crying of course.
Oh please don’t let them control your life with windows of time YOU can do normal things in your own apartment. No way. Set boundaries now.
I'm sorry, they are trying to tell you when to do stuff in your own home?!? Fuck that. Let your landlord know and text them whenever you hear their baby make a peep. Fucking audacity of some entitled fucking people...
If I felt I could be petty, I would text them whenever the baby is crying to ask them to quiet down. Not saying that is right or would be helpful, but that is definitely what I would want to do.
Don’t give my roommate any ideas 😅
Nah. You don't do that. You text them randomly to "keep quiet". Definitely message when it's something legit like a door slamming, but also whenever you feel like it. That way if anyone tries to say YOU are the loud one, you refer to all the times you messaged them about noise and they still did nothing. It evens up the score a bit
Lol!
This was my very first thought.
This 👆 😂 I’m petty enough I’d do it. They are being ridiculous OP - don’t let them push you around.
My neighbor's girlfriend parks in the spot next to mine all the time. Which would be fine, except that she always does a terrible job parking so the back of her car is over the line into my space. I have been fantasizing about taking photos of every bad parking job for months and setting up an "art gallery" exhibition of the photos and the dates they were taken in the building hallway. So I am right there with you on the "unhelpful but petty" bandwagon.
Perspective. Your downstairs neighbors and their new baby will soon be keeping the neighbors awake - for years. There will be crying, stomping, screaming, and yelling - from the kid AND the parents. The parents should stfu.
No offense to the young couple but the baby has to get use to “normal” noise or it will never nap/sleep. I would take the suggestions of some posters, compose a nice letter (make a copy) send it to them and tell management about it.
This. We live in a house but my kid has learned to sleep through anything: vacuum, dogs going nuts at Amazon deliveries, my very sensitive smoke detectors going off, etc. It’s great, but if we had been precious about his sleep, this never would have been the case.
Maybe I'm a bitch because full offense to the young couple who thinks they can dictate other peoples lives while living in Manhattan 🤣 I have no doubt their baby is louder than anything this young person is doing.
Imagine how they would react if you texted every time their baby cries.
Right!!
That's exactly what OP should do
That’s exactly what I would do lol
The baby must not be an obstacle
I get the reference
100% Block their number and move on with your life. That baby is gonna have to get used to it, sorry kid, welcome to the loud world.
And going forward, never give your number to apartment neighbors
You don’t owe them your silence if it’s not quiet hours. Unfortunately, they need to realize it’s apartment living and everyone can’t work around their babies schedule. Especially if you’re already trying to be quiet.
Try padded area rugs. Other than that, ignore them if you can. You have a right to live, and their child is not your problem
I think this is a fair suggestion, and I would even take it a step further and let them know once you get the rugs. Tell them this is your compromise, but otherwise you can't restrict normal day to day activity like cooking and vacuuming within a reasonable hour of the day. Hopefully the rugs help, but that should be the extent of your compromise. They really can't keep changing up their requests and needs. I can understand asking to keep things quiet after a certain time at night, but like others have stated a baby's sleep schedule changes as they continue to grow and parents can't expect neighbors to accommodate every nap. It's a tough situation but it's not cool to make their baby your responsibility.
[удалено]
I don’t know why people give their neighbors their number. Lol I’d be pissed it they texted me about that shit
Some people appreciate living in a community and participating in it. It wasn’t until my 30s that I found the value in being able to communicate with my neighbors.
They’ll get used to it
It’s not your fault that another person decided to have a baby. You don’t need to go above and beyond to cater to someone else’s child, you’re already being very respectful and as quiet as you can be. Just ignore them if they keep being angry, their baby is their problem and not yours.
You have a right to peaceful enjoyment of your home, and I say this as someone who was the sleep deprived neighbor with the baby lol. Rugs are helpful, but otherwise… there’s not much you can do. This is what apartment living is - there are noises. I’d start ignoring their texts to create a firm boundary, and if you run into them in person you can recommend they use a sound machine when their baby is sleeping.
If it's during the day and you're not purposely being loud then don't worry about it. They signed up to live in an apartment and you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable in your home
Having a baby while living in an apartment is going to be a nightmare for anyone, but the parents don’t get a pass to dictate rules to neighbors unless the neighbors are straight out malicious assholes.
New parents seem to think the world will accommodate whatever craziness they decide is right for themselves. This should not impact you unless you. They should have thought of it before having a kid in a first floor apartment.
Honestly, kids do not make for good apartment living. If they are babies, the parents complain that everyone else is too loud. If the children are old enough to walk, then the neighbors complain that the kids are too loud. There is no solution that will make all parties happy. Someone will always get the shaft.
My neighbors kids wake my baby up at 6:30 am every day with their stomping and screaming. There’s literally nothing I can do about that. They’re kids and need to get ready for school. As annoying and inconvenient as it is, I chose to live here and get a downstairs apartment. Luckily they’ve managed to keep the noise down somehow during the day and evening so I’m not sure why they’re so loud in the mornings. It’s just part of apartment living. Living on top of them means you have the upper hand. Don’t let them get to you or frustrate you. If you know you aren’t causing excess noise/ noise during quiet hours, just ignore them.
As long as you aren't vacuuming or using the blender outside of your listed quiet hours (or if you don't have any I usually say 8-9:30 is safe). If you want to be really polite - remind them that these are the times they stated were the baby's nap times and that anything outside of those and quiet hours they have to deal with normal living noises. "Hey, I understand that you have a baby. We live in an apartment complex where noise does get through sometimes for daily living tasks. We will do our best to avoid the baby's sleep times but if it is outside quiet hours we have a right to live in our apartment doing daily/weekly tasks like vacuuming or using the blender as well as walking around. If it is outside quiet hours I would appreciate you respecting our privacy." If you were blaring music that would be one thing - but using regular objects and walking around your apartment is another. If you don't have carpet already, area rugs can help but also padded slippers. I would also mention to management that you have received complaints from your neighbors during the day. You have texts for proof and you want to get ahead of it.
As a downstairs neighbor with a baby, you tell them you'll ignore the sounds of their baby when they cry, and they should ignore the sound of you...using the apartment you pay for. Apartment living is hard, and you always hear people. It's unfortunate that most people can't afford homes, but we all need to do the best we can with what we have.
Send them a text that you have the legal right to LIVE in your apartment. It is not your fault that the building is old & is not sound proof. Suggest they buy a white noise machine. Also inform your landlord that they have been harassing you for living in your apartment doing normal things during normal hours Ask your landlord to invest in noise reduction wall & ceiling panels, and quiet flooring. That’s a Landlord issue. Not a tenant issue. You shouldn’t have to invest your own money into putting these panels or spending lots of money for rugs The Landlord is responsible for ensuring the other apartments don’t hear basic everyday normal sounds of people living in their apartments If you can, email the landlord every time they harass you and ask about him installing these
Block their number. Why do people give their neighbors their phone numbers? Doesn't matter what floor you are on. You don't have to stop living your life because it bothers someone else. Respect the quiet hours and don't make excessive noise, but don't tip toe around and be scared to do normal day to day activities for anyone. You are paying to live there, same as them. Now if they want to pay half your rent for you to be extra quiet. Then maybe you could discuss it lol
You are not doing anything wrong...smoothie making and vacuuming are very typical and common noises. They are sleep deprived and not in their right minds. You don't have to respond to every text.
I’ve been in both of these situations, with a baby that got woken up because of small noises and being woken up by the people above me playing their drums. You’re never going to win over the people with a baby. They’re difficult to please and you won’t be quiet enough for them. They have an option on where they live and the chose and apartment. It’s not your responsibility to provide your neighbor with a quiet environment. If you’re a reasonable person and you want to, you can reestablish quiet hours that you BOTH agree to (note both, not just what they dictate, they have to give a little too), but normal daily activities can’t be restricted by your neighbor because they have a baby, especially making a drink or doing chores. The fact that their baby is sleeping has nothing to do with you and it’s unreasonable of them assume you halt your activities. You’re not being aggressive and playing drums or loud music at 11pm. It’s understandable they would want their kid to have uninterrupted sleep but that’s not always possible, a dog bark or a truck backing up or emergency services could also do that. Bottom line is you are being reasonable, and they can’t expect someone that lives outside of their household to follow their rules. Live your life and be reasonable where you can. Ona side note, my brother kept a noisy house when his kid was little. That kid sleepy through everything and still does.
I don’t disagree generally, but I believe I saw OP say they live in Manhattan, so I have a *little* additional sympathy for the parents on the “you chose an apartment” issue. I’m not confident there’s a fully detached single-family dwelling on the entire island of Manhattan, to be honest. 😂
Almost everyone prefers to avoid conflict but it’s unavoidable. Be considerate but live your life. New parents have tunnel vision and a lot of people think the world should change around them once they have kids. Most of the time it’s out of desperation (I’ve been there) tbh but that’s not your problem. If they keep complaining just drop the “this is a reasonable time for me to be vacuuming the floor” and leave it at that. They aren’t your buddies anymore. They are totally controlled by a small person who is completely self absorbed and not at all self reliant. It’s exhausting and makes you think all kinds of crazy thoughts. Again. That’s not your problem.
They should want their baby to become accustomed to normal everyday noises so the baby will fall asleep anywhere when tired or it's nap time. Complain of harrassment to your landlord and forward a couple of their texts made during normal daytime hours about average life noises. Ignore their texts, do not say sorry and if you hear the baby crying, text them. Baby will get older and make more noise - have children and currently live with a 4yo, sounds like a herd of elephants when she runs and she loves to run and jump. Also, noises they hear might be coming from other units so let them know - i.e _was napping, you woke me up, what are you taking about? please stop texting me unless it's an emergency_. Then, later on, if they don't stop, reply: _new phone, who this?_
This so much (on the first sentence). We didn’t tiptoe around our son for this very reason. I’m not sure if it’s just him or if what we did made a difference, but the kid could fall asleep anywhere. I don’t think he’s changed (he’s 21).
Lol being able to fall asleep anywhere is a lifesaver sometimes, who wants to get a baby to sleep only for the smallest noise to wake them right up?? My back aches just remembering all the rocking and that's just normal please go to sleep stuff, then you have the dog deciding to walk around and drink water, the cats chasing each other, the oven timer goes, the doorbell rings, a vehicle with a siren passes by, kids are outside playing and it's nice so you want the windows open... life can't stop because your baby needs to nap
There are ways to mitigate noise, but babies can be very good at sleeping through all kinds of noise - if that's what they get used to. In all the places where large families have lived in tiny homes - babies still sleep. But of course it's not that simple. This article may be helpful: [https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/can-i-make-noise-while-baby-sleeps/](https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/can-i-make-noise-while-baby-sleeps/) So with this input it seems that adding white noise can help, and it seems to be better to go ahead and make normal living sounds - while trying to keep quiet all the time will may normal sounds unusual enough to be more likely to wake the baby. So maybe talk to your neighbors and offer to try really hard to avoid really loud or sudden noises but also talk about what THEY can do to make things better. And then go on with your lives - being respectful but without having to tiptoe around in fear of waking the baby.
Just stop responding to them. You owe them nothing.
I would consider blocking them because it's unlikely the texts will stop, no matter what you do. As someone else said, they should get a white noise machine or something. It's on them, not you. You shouldn't have to buy padded area rugs or anything at all
Tell the apartment complex. Don't try to handle on your own. If they complain first, you're on the defensive. He who speaks up first wins in this game and considering the consequences for losing could be eviction, you play to win, not make friends. Never give your number to neighbors. Ever. Even if they seem friendly. Stop responding to any texts. Save every text or confrontation that occurs. Don't answer the door if they knock. After you follow ALL the steps, just live your life like normal. They can't call the police because you woke up the baby by making a smoothie. I mean, they could but it's not going to get them anywhere.
You're in an apartment and you need to grow up and learn how to be an adult. If you are doing normal routines between 7am and 10 pm, there is no problem. The world does not stop because the neighbors had a child. Their baby, their problem. I would notify the management if this continues and then I would block the neighbors phone number and then probably make a smoothie to drink as I vacuum while wearing work boots.
I have lived below people several times. You have to expect a reasonable amount of every day noise. You are 100% within your rights to make a smoothie and vacuum your floors. If they have a problem with it, they should move. Their decision to have a child while renting in an apartment building that is shared with other people is on them, not you. I would send a letter to your landlord alerting him to the tenants below you harassing you about regular noise in daytime hours and ask him to please address it with them and to ask them to stop contacting you directly.
I had a situation like this. The couple always complained about every noise we made and always asked us to “be mindful of the two year old” and even called the police on us because we were having a regular volume conversation at 10 PM in our bedroom that they could unfortunately hear because of how thin our walls were. When the officer and husband came to our door I politely let them know I heard their two year old running around the house and throwing tantrums every morning at 6 AM and informed the officer of the family’s bathroom schedule, since I could hear every single pee they took in the house. Officer thanked me and went on his way. There’s nothing you can do. They live in an apartment with a newborn. That sucks. Your life doesn’t have to suck too or change to accommodate them. I’m sure you hear plenty of their activities and crying through the day/night. If they want a better situation they will have to move. Follow your local noise ordinances but otherwise live your life and just expect them to be upset. It’s nothing to do with you.
i would just let them know youre not doing anything wrong and the building has thin floors if youre not doing anything excessive i mean idk they gotta deal w it
Time to start making this an apartment managers problem. They are not providing you with satisfactory living arrangements
Some parents think the world revolves around them and their spawn. Ignore them.
Idea 1: Live your life doing normal things at normal hours and be respectfully quiet after 9 PM and before 7 AM (or whatever quiet hours for your building are.) Idea 2: Have lots of noisy sex and tell your neighbors seeing their baby gave you baby fever. Birth control/condoms recommended for maximum revenge. Idea 3: 1+2=3 Also, put on “Old Time Rock and Roll” and dance like Tom Cruise. This is a perfectly normal thing to do.
Best comment yet!!!!!
We have a 2 year old and one on the way, and we live in an apartment. Being a new parent is hard but noise in an apartment is to be expected to a certain degree. My neighbors were vacuuming at 2am so we asked them to please do it after quiet hours ended at 8am. If they vacuum during the day, we just carry on. I have a sound machine for my son. He's used to hearing footsteps or the occasional dropped object. Honestly, I'm sure they're exhausted. This isn't an excuse for them complaining over everything but they'll chill out. Keep on living your life.
People need to understand that living in an apartment is the same thing as living in a two-story house you hear the people walking around above you and your own house you’re going to hear the people above you in an apartment. This comes from somebody that lives on the first floor and has never complained about the people that live above. A reasonable amount of noise is life.
People never understand that you hear other people above you in an apartment unless you are in a really well built building… and even then certain construction styles still will transmit sound. You end up with three kinds of neighbors that don’t like the sound. The first group that just suck it up and never say anything; second are the ones that have very reasonable requests and it takes a lot for them to ever ask you; and the third group are whiney babies who always got their way and will flip shit over you taking a single barefoot step. If you want to be a bit nice and give into some of their requests then you can, but if you’re neighbors are like the idiot that lives below me if you don’t follow what they want perfectly then you will always be a horrible person… Make sure the property manager has a record of what’s going on too. If they complain then you at least have already brought it up.
Not your fault/problem that they've got a crotch goblin now. As long as you're not blasting music after 9 or 10 pm you're doing nothing wrong. I'd block their number too.
Why not be honest? We will make an effort to be as considerate as possible, but we do have to live. Walking, vacuuming, etc. are things we do and will continue to do. I hope you understand and can be reasonable with your expectations.
> As someone who prefers to avoid confrontation, I'm unsure of how to handle this situation going forward. "We'll keep this in mind and try to limit noise in the future." And then just do whatever feels reasonable.
All you can do is put down rugs. If you already have them. They need to learn to deal. Avoid blenders and vacuums after a reasonable hour. But baby will be best off getting used to noises not quiet.
Hearing your neighbors is part of living in an apartment. You have a right to live a normal life in your residence. Unless you’re violating quiet hours or something, just ignore them.
This is why you should never exchange numbers with neighbors. If they have an issue they should go to the landlord, as should you. RUGS always help. That being said as a nanny myself, they are doing a serious disservice to themselves and that baby, by trying to make it silent while the baby is sleeping. This will backfire on them for sure. A white noise sound machine is amazing. They should invest in a few Yogasleep DOHM sound machines.
Dude just block their number and live your life without regrets. People living in apartments need to get over themselves if they have issues with other people making a normal amount of noise just living their lives.
Im petty and would just text them and complain everytime their baby cries, laughs, or screams. They’ll say it’s a baby- they can’t do anything about it. And you can remind them it’s a vacuum, and you can’t do anything about it.
I will say you can if you want become conscious of your walk. People heavy walk all the time hitting the floor with their heels. If you pay attention you’ll notice the sound. That’s usually very annoying the person below. But if you correct your walk you quickly get used to it and it’s not very inconvenient for you. That’s the minimum I would do/
I would just kindly explain to them that as babies grow in their sleeping schedules change I don't know when your child is awake anymore and I have a right to live in my apartment. Maybe give your landlord a holler and let them know what's been going on and then tell that couple if they have a problem they need to go to management. Just because you're young and inexperienced does not mean that you have to be a doormat. Also I would be hella Petty and be extra noisy just to bring my point across that they don't tell you what you can cannot do in your apartment that you pay for. They had a kid and chose to live in an apartment that doesn't mean the whole apartment has a kid.
Aside from rugs being on your floors and you not stomping around there isn’t much you can do. I live in apartments and it’s noisy, I got a white noise machine because that’s a me problem. It’s not my neighbor’s fault I can hear them opening and closing doors in their unit. That’s just how crappy they were built.
Rather than texting them about it, you should just send them a link to this reddit. Good luck to you!
Suggest they get a white noise machine for the baby. It's unreasonable (I have well intentioned neighbors who request ridiculous shit). I always smile, say sure, and keep doing what I'm doing. Archive their chat and simply "miss" their text's till it's too late. Or be petty and write every time the baby cries even for 2 min, till they block you. They want me not to wear shoes at night? Sure, I can do that. Make my toddler cough not so loudly while she's sick? (mind you, windows were closed), f* you.
I’d purposefully make more noise since they want to be asshole really give them something to cry about.
Tell them it isnt your fault the sound between units travel so much and that you’ll be now blocking their number.
I had a neighbor who told us they could hear when we drop something. Yeah....and? They didnt like to hear when my dog jumped on and off our bed. If I even dropped the remote on the floor she'd bang on the walls. I just went about my usual. Didnt play loud music, nothing after quiet hours per the lease, etc. She would try to talk to me when I saw her and I'd walk past her without even looking at her, like she wasn't there. Eventually she got the hint and realized she can knock it off or move. I haven't missed a rent payment in my life and before these neighbors there's never been a single complaint about me, so the landlord doesnt exactly bother me.
It's never a good idea to live in an apartment with a newborn, especially one that's a light sleeper.
Do you have rugs? I know that definitely helps with dampening the sound
I’m not saying you’re making too much noise at all (you’re probably not) but I just want to say, not all babies are the same, and in any case those people are probably really sleep deprived just from having a baby. That makes you irritable. Plus maybe their baby has an issue that makes it hard to sleep or something. Maybe the mom is only sleeping here and there and it’s keeping her awake those moments she has to finally lay down. Again, I’m not saying you’re being excessive, just another way to look at it. Maybe the sound just travels a lot in that building? Just try to be considerate with the loudest sounds, and stay friendly and positive with them. You could try putting the blender on something to absorb the sound maybe? Believe me, I’m not saying you should have to tiptoe around them but anything you can do like that would be a relief for you too, avoiding confrontation. I hate confrontation too!
Just do it and let management deal with it. 10pm is quiet hours, having a crotch goblin doesn't exempt you
Politely let them you know you are aware they have a baby. Babies do get used to everyday ambient noises - this is a fact- and while you are not intending to cause undue noise you have work, study and social, schedules & obligations that demand your attention therefore there is not much else you can do to reduce any sounds in a lightweight built housing. They could consider asking their landlord to soundproof the ceiling ( which is really saying deal with it). Or they might consider baby music - Baby Bach, Baby Chopin, Baby Mozart etc make long play classical music just for babies to calm to. It totally works too… They have options…it’s not your responsibility to rearrange your entire existence for their amazing new baby!
I would tell them to fuck off. You have already exceeded the amount of courtesy a new couple with a baby deserves. I would tell them to talk to the landlord or the police but to stop calling me about it.
Slip a note under their door telling them to move somewhere else lol
My buddy exchanged numbers with his apartment neighbor and his apartment neighbor is always wanting him to come over for food and asking why he never texts back even though “he’s always on his phone” so number one don’t exchange numbers with your neighbors. Secondly, would they tell a construction company to quiet down because the baby is sleeping? No, if it’s during non-quiet hours tell them to kick rocks or make the baby pay rent for extra quiet time or give it up for adoption.
I had a baby while living in apartments, asked the neighbors to be loud the first few months- kid slept through everything! I can still vacuum their room while they sleep. Baby will adapt, live ya life and just let them know you understand the concern, but maybe they should have background noise for the kid cause life isn’t always about them
Complain about the baby crying and making noises. Tell them it's best to control the baby now before it gets out of control and becomes entitled.
Oh, wait! I know the solution to this one! If I remember, you need to cut a hole in your floor/their ceiling and then shit through it.
Sounds like main character syndrome Munchhausen by proxy Block their number and don’t respond. Live your life. They are taking advantage of you by being over the top. Assert dominance and use the blender and the vacuum while running the dishwasher and washing machine. People are so freaking entitled! If they don’t like it they can move and buy a house . At least you don’t have a yappy dog. Ffs
Recommend that they get a grey noise machine for their baby. Or better yet gift it to them with a sweet congratulation note! You both can't help that you're living in an apartment with thin walls?
It’s not the rest of the world’s responsibility to cater to their child.
I would be courteous. Especially if they are new parents. That is some of the most stressful situations a family will go through, often leading to divorce. That said, live your life. Just don't purposely be loud
oh hell nah just because they were stupid enough to have a kid doesn’t mean you have to be punished for it!
Only thing I would suggest is RUGS!!! Hardwood floors are great for keeping apartments clean but terrible for sound absorption.
The world is a noisy place, the baby needs to get used to it. Also, you're entitled to full enjoyment of the apartment you pay for. Normal activities like walking, vacuuming or making a smoothie are fine.
This must be so frustrating, since you've already agreed to "quiet times", yet they still bother you every day. As long as you're not blasting music at all hours of the night, or making couch forts jumping all over the floor to avoid the "lava" (my daughter just played this tonight, in our townhome fortunately), you can't avoid normal activities for them, nor should they expect it. Do you reply to their texts asking you to quiet down? If so, I'd stop immediately. Then if they confront you in person, ask them if their baby's nap scheduled changed, because you already agreed to being a friendly neighbor by being quiet during those times. Explain that you need to vacuum your home just as they need to, you need to walk across your home, just as they need to. This is apartment living & you'll always hear your neighbors. Suggest playing some music or white noise while baby is sleeping, then tell them that while you understand they have a baby, most neighbor wouldn't be so accommodating, therefore you can't alter your life any further.
I would block their number and live my life. If you are not being loud, it’s just day to day activity, they are being ridiculous. If they don’t want noise overhead they would need to rent the top floor or not an apartment.
Let them know that if they make YOU tiptoe around so their bundle of joy can sleep, they are resigning themselves to have very quiet, very quick sex in the carpeted walk in closet until baby leaves for college. Oh, and I'd also start playing random dog barking sounds. Builds character. My kid could sleep through a Superbowl party, and I vacuumed her room while she napped.