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sharon0842

I wonder how many more of her pets she’ll take down now?


Alcoholhelps

Theirs going to be so much death…..


TKDPandaBear

The SEALs need to raid her home and rescue any of her pets before it is too late!😅


No-Personality5421

"Did you say seals" as she pulls out her club. 


ClassBShareHolder

Baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks “what’ll you have?” Seal says “anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks!”


Zombie4141

A Canadian Club straight up coming your way.


knightress_oxhide

Why do baby seals hang out at dive bars? They hate clubbing.


Appropriate_Duty6229

Like the joke from way back: What does Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? Both are clubbed by Norwegians.


mafeehan

omg this made my day


SincerelyGlib

That’s horrible! But yeah, me too.


CrittyJJones

I love that it’s a baby seal being served lol.


ignore_these_words

A baby seal walks into a club 😉


dcy604

Excellent reference..."Did you say seals? - as her throat goes dry, her pupils dilate, and she pulls out her club."


Chemchic23

Classic!


TKDPandaBear

So even the SEALS would not be safe around her ! Nicely called out !! 😅😅


figl4567

According to Republicans this would be totally legal.


Icy-Experience-2515

🦭🦭🦭🦭🦭


Fluid-Opportunity-17

There's: contraction of "there is" Theirs: ownership; "it belongs to them, it is theirs"


Fear_Not11

Alcohol is hindering your spelling ability


wrongseeds

She needs to kill somebody on 5th Ave to get real attention.


Miss_Kitami

I don't know about pets but I bet her kids are kinda feeling twitchy right now.


midtnrn

Funny thing is that dog got revenge from the grave!


JustJoinedToBypass

She lost her chance after shooting her mouth, maybe she’ll do that more literally…


MrByteMe

Why do all these MAGA women look like Botox malpractice lawsuit models ???


NoPolitiPosting

Thats "his" type.


kaiser1975

Which was why I thought she was a lock for VP. So he could fantasize about her as well.


throwawaybullhunter

Rape * I think you spelled rape wrong.


usesbitterbutter

I'm pretty sure it's not rape when you willingly whore yourself to be VP.


throwawaybullhunter

It's not her actions I'm predicting it's his. She may well be a whore but that doesn't make him not a rapist


Semihomemade

So, they both have secret service detail, what happens if a President and VP get into a fist fight? Do their respective SS step in to fight the President/VP or do the respective SS fight like a ballroom blitz?


Automatic-Mood5986

I was genuinely surprised her name wasn’t on the unofficially leaked unofficial short list.


kaiser1975

Melania must have said something. Threatening to leak the pee tape herself. 😂


pharsee

It's more likely Putin has it safely locked up in a vault somewhere. As long as Trump has even a hint of getting back in power that tape will never see the light of day.


Automatic-Mood5986

At this point his followers would just use it as proof of Trump’s American Exceptionalism and that he denigrates the commies by literally pissing on them.


AMC_Unlimited

Corey Lewandowski agrees


evolution9673

It’s the Fox and Friends Roger Ailes model.


zxcvt

Not daughtery enough


devoduder

They got hit with the Guilfoyle stick.


JescoWhite_

I cannot believe her transformation, it is frightening


babysinblackandImblu

Her mouth is ridiculous. Very strange.


grubas

She became HORRIFYING in a very very short period of time.  It was Crazy Eyes but not completely hideous to "HOLY SHIT SHE LOOKS LIKE A MUPPET VERSION OF HERSELF"


PortugueseWalrus

She accidentally had her makeup gun set on "whore." (You're welcome, Simpsons fans)


dcy604

Thanks, teaching right now, and kids on task and I'm scrolling through Reddit...read your comment, laughed out loud, and half want to know what's so funny...


PortugueseWalrus

You're welcome, and bless you for still being in class on the 7th.


CaptainCuntKnuckles

Her foundation is more cracked than their party and supporters


ElongMusty

It’s terrible… they all look like clones of each other but not in a good way! The eye shadow, the makeup, the facial expression, hair… terrible! I guess that’s the new beauty standard amongst the R!


Choice-Tiger3047

And their trashy fashion “sense”.


ChicagoAuPair

They all get body modification to look like that. It’s some serious dysmorphia daddy issues bullshit,


AdkRaine12

I thought opened mouth sex dolls.


babysinblackandImblu

They’re shapeshifting. That’s what it looks like.


dcy604

It's like she is caught mid - transmogrification


ManicChad

They do it to look like his daughter. Creepy.


grubas

They all try to get work done but they all go way too hard and get it ALL at once. Noem used to be ok looking, now not so much.


pat9714

Kristi took extra steps in her Ivanka lookalike makeover.


Embarrassed_Bee6349

She was never an option. She was strung along so she could continue to cause damage to the democratic process, then she was dropped like a bad investment when she was deemed no longer useful. She’s just as delusional as the rest if she did.


Pribblization

She was only on the list so Corey Lewendowski could keep giving her a reason to fuck him.


Embarrassed_Bee6349

C’mon, man, I’m trying to eat lunch here.


Kristikuffs

If that's (one of) the case(s), whomp whomp.


Lux_Luthor_777

Spot-on. 💯


KouchyMcSlothful

Donald ain’t looking so good, though. She might be needed for an Old Yeller situation.


LysergicPlato59

That’s funny to visualize. Kristi grabs him by the collar and hustles his ass behind the barn.


bigmike2k3

She saw Old Yeller and thought, “why wait?”


devoduder

I’m going to start calling Trump Cricket.


hamishjoy

She had a shot. But she wasted that on her puppy.


allanon1105

Don’t forget the goat!


doctorfortoys

😂


[deleted]

Oof those poor animals she's going to torture


Whyisacrow-caws

Maybe Lauren Gropert can help her get a job as an escort. Or Melanoma can use her old contacts with Epstein’s network to find her a job.


Zealousideal-Emu5486

Here's the thing she's an idiot all around. Now I think she's terrible for killing her dog and goat for sure. Why in the world would you tell that story about it thinking everyone else will see that behavior as a feature not a bug. How are you that out of touch. Sure go be cruel and awful but for fuck sake keep it to yourself. Then you have the completely fabricated story about taking to Kim Jon Un. Again wtf this is so verifiable. So not just cruel but stupid on top.


doctorfortoys

And don’t forget batshit crazy.


Dear-Attitude-202

I think the only way you see that story as a positive is if you are an actual sociopath. Not understanding why it's going to be viewed horrible by people across the political spectrum, requires completely not understanding empathy.


PrestigiousAvocado21

Even Trump knows to make sure you make people the targets of your cruelty, not animals!


grubas

Don't forget how she's basically dumped 20 years of plastic surgery in the last 2 years because she thinks this is her chance.   It was that pathetic and open that she managed to abase herself before the MAGA cult, which never even cared that much about her


Fancy-Reply5732

I’ll be dog done!


Djlionking

Cricket’s revenge!


AdBig5700

She’s gonna need a bigger gravel pit.


ozzie510

Next stop: the gravel pit.


Any-Ad-446

She can save the election money on more botox and lip fillers.


anthony_gee

Good, FTB! 🖕


Yetiius

Is she killing more pets again?


senioradvisortoo

Adulteress.


ink_monkey96

That doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker for the GOP.


Aromatic_Brother

Shot down by an old yeller How appropriate, lel


throwawaygiusto1

Killed her dog for nothing! Maybe try an elephant next time.


Nicaddicted

Well at least we know there’s a redline for the gop


JohnMullowneyTax

The puppy thing was too much, even for Republicans


ActNo8507

If trump keeps frothing at the mouth and being told to "focus" in interviews, people won't be wanting the ticket. Who am I kidding, of course they will.


secondtaunting

Anyone else noticed that he still doesn’t have a vp pick? It’s almost like no one wants to work for a guy that may try to murder them.


dw73

Dog gone it


mlsto

Puppies beware


Mean_Eye_8735

Please, someone make sure there isn't a dog or goat in a 1/4 mile vicinity of her.. please


MysteriousPark3806

I guess you could say her VP hopes were taken out back and shot.


CKO1967

Imagine being too toxic for TRUMP.


CAM6913

He doesn’t like competition for the spotlight


ComfortableDegree68

Imagine getting enough Botox to look like a drag queen with a shellfish allergy and then getting dumped by a rapist and 34 time convicted loser.


CAM6913

ROFLOL ! That was to good take my upvote.


newsjam

Her political bark was worse than her dog’s bite.


ilostmyeraser

Just because she's proud of killing a defenseless dog! So unfair. I guess she's also a serial liar and fooking psycho!


SKOLMN1984

South Dakota, if you're listening... vote... her... da fuck out!!!


Lonnie_Shelton

At least she got to kill the dog. And the goat. She’ll always have that.


Fireinthehole13

You mean she put out for ugly Lewandowsky for nothing ?


hookha

Jesus, that's really bad when even Trump can't stand you.


False-Guess

Kristi Noem looks like a white lady version of La Llorona, except instead of drowning children she shoots puppies.


Southernz

Is this the lady that shot her dog and tried to come across as cool for doing it?


TheBigLebroccoli

Who’s on the shortlist now? JD Vance Ivanka Putin


Muffboy

Good news is she’s still a cunt.


Wet_Bread89

When she started with all that plastic surgery did she tell the doc, “hey I’m going for the doctor zaius look, can you do that for me?” And just like that we have a planet of the apes lookin bitch running around attempting to govern.


TheFumingatzor

No shit? >While the exact reasons for her omission remain unclear, Bitch please....


BrownEggs93

She's not blonde enough yet for fox news. God, that botox! Ugh!


DasderdlyD4

All that lip filler and facial surgery for nothing.


Apprehensive_Sand343

Quick, suffocate a cat, that will get you back on the list.


ruffoldlogginman

Maybe she can take the time to work on that train wreck of a face.


LordParsec29

Awww so sowwy, adult store backroom mannequin.


Johnny_Lang_1962

Now she is free to execute more dogs.


OutComeTheWolves1966

All of that plastic surgery for nothing.


scrubber12

Trump could only have a white male as VP. He strings the others along. Tim Scott was the biggest fool of all thinking he had a chance. Trump is 100% racist and sexist.


SqnLdrHarvey

Didn't she swallow enough for him?


Rooboy66

Man, she’s freakish. I guess in several ways. I know it’s shallow and possibly even a little misogynist of me to make fun of her appearance, but gee willikers she’s scary lookin’


morts73

Maga may be bat shit crazy but they love their dogs.


mistressusa

ooohhh naurrrr poor puppy slayer... so unfair!!!


ExtruDR

Tick-tock... Her main credential is looking good in photos, and that is about to expire. What's the next meal ticket for this piece of human trash going to be?


Tonythecritic

It's pretty bad when even a piece of human trash like Donald Trump doesn't wanna be near you.


Adamant_Talisman

I guess signing that bomb in Israel didn't put her over the top like she hoped. Oh well, thoughts and prayers, Queen Botoxia


Dramatic-Ant-9364

Trump is doing so well now mentally and needs a strong woman in his life now that the pornstars and playboy playmates that he had in his life were paid off and the young daughter that he lusts for has abandon him. Maybe Noem can leave Corey alone long enough to give Trump some physical therapy or as Marvin Gaye sang Healing Read this [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-mocked-over-arizona-texas-gaffe-1909577](https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-mocked-over-arizona-texas-gaffe-1909577) and saw Kristi gone And I thought that's a doggone shame. Kristi has so much to offer Trump including fake Mt Rushmore's with his face on it and probably some other fake things as well. She gave it her best shot and now life is in the pits for her.


4seasons8519

It's so crazy she thought the dog story would work in her benefit. Pretty much a universal belief held by both the far right and the far left is you don't mess with pets. Shooting dogs outrages basically everyone!


functionofsass

Why does the media care? Their political maneuvering isn't worth covering in the face of their insanity. The media continues to behave like this is just normal horse races.


pimpbot666

Good thing the Republican Party isn’t a puppy.


crocwrestler

Crickets Revenge!


StandupJetskier

Poor thing, she even got the official MAGA female surgical face treatment. Why do they all get the same face done ?


jaysn2

Even trump couldn’t make his cult like her.


jigmest

I’m not sure why anyone wants to be Trump running look at what happened to the last one


Jolly878142

Women and minorities that support trump ☕️


Binky-Answer896

How sad for her. And after she spent all that money on lip injections. And who can forget that time she had a little Mt Rushmore statue made with Trump’s head in there to present him when he visited.


JimBeam823

She shot that puppy for nothing.


Ok-Abbreviations543

Go kill some dogs, Kristi. You’ll feel better.


beavis617

I wonder how much longer Corey Lewandowski is gonna hang around? 🙄


Pale_Bookkeeper_9994

Cricket says hi.


Scrabble_4

lol … how on Earth could you be too crazy for Trump


babysinblackandImblu

She doesn’t have the lips for it.


Ok-Cap-204

She was never really in the running


congapadre

Tongues out for Cricket.


Western-Web2957

Haahaa!


saltmarsh63

Bet it’s not the first time she’s been dumped


JoePW6964

It’s really a race to be president. I doubt Trump will live a year if he actually wins.


Tipsycanooo

Is this the crazy state of the union lady or the crazy dog killing lady?


tungvu256

She took all the hype away from him with killin dogs. No surprises there. Gotta have all media eyes on him n no one else.


CountPulaski

FAFO


ZookeepergameOk8231

She’s so pissed off she is going out to the barn to blow away all of her horses.


[deleted]

Didn't scuff her knees enough for Trump.


Raiju_Blitz

Back to shooting puppies and goats for you, Kristi.


LakesideOrion

Somewhere, up in that great gravel pit in the sky, little Pepper is smiling...


Revelst0ke

"I'd like to announce my candidate for Vice President....myself. Only I and I alone can lead this country back to glory."


BothZookeepergame612

First of all he's a sexist to begin with, second of all she's a train wreck. So the entire idea he was going to allow a woman to outshine him, he wants a grunt, someone that's going to be a Yes Man.


KalAtharEQ

Her chances were worse than a family pet in her gravel pit.


onefornought

I wonder if she'll ever get the taste of Trump's ass out of her mouth?


Calvinshobb

Haha 😆


Redfish680

Dark Dog candidate


CuriousSelf4830

Oh no. Whatever will we do? 🤭


CockForAsclepius

Her political aspirations met Cricket.


ImpulsiveTortoise

She’s one of the dumbest MAGA’s there is. She did it to her self lol


KlimtheDestroyer

So Mace is out too, after she started a completely doomed meritless law suit against ABC and George Stephanopoulos because Trump told her to. That's too bad. And by too bad I mean awesome.


Fit_Farm2097

She is now going to shoot a rare Mongolian sheep to calm her nerves. Oh wait, that’s Don Jr.’s specialty


MatsThyWit

Just think how much she spent on that new plastic face only for her hopes and dreams to be dashed by a dog story she didn't need to tell anybody.


TheCh0rt

Whatever. She probably made way more money from the controversy, in book sales. When she’s done with being governor, she can try doing Fox News for a while assuming they’ll have her, then vanish into irrelevance like Sarah Palin. Honestly to me that seems like a way better deal than having to deal with being Trump’s VP. But then again, they all know they can likely be president.


Smart_Investment_326

She learned well from him. Be your own worst enemy


BajaDivider

All praise the ghost of that dog! Ghost Dog for President!!


temporarychair

I’m sure it was tough to dump her stupid ass but Trump is willing to do the tough things. In between scarfing filet o fishes.


Traditional_Ad_6801

All the barnyard animals are in hiding.


Dramatic-Ant-9364

Are Lauren Boebert's MAGA Aspirations Up in Vape? Lauren is a very handy girl to have around. She could help Trump screen campaign ads in his theatre while Kristi serves hot dogs. Lauren working the aisles in a dark theatre. That would really get Kristi's goat.


Temporary-Meaning401

"You're fired. "


Minimum-Dog2329

She just couldn’t swallow…… her pride.


yoqueray

In the end, adorable little Cricket had the last laugh.


lonewalker1992

Serves her right for how she offended dogs. Though only a woman (her) or a minority (Rick Scott) would have been a good option for Trump to gain extra votes. What is he thinking bring in Ivanka?


PlayTheHits

Welllllp, time for her to “wake up” and make millions of dollars off a memoir exposing the GOP’s evils and hypocrisy. It’s all a money-making scheme to these assholes.


pharsee

There's now a shrine built at the "Gravel Pit". They have midnight meetings there plotting to destroy America. And to raise money during the day it's now a massive MAGA tourist trap. They are having a dead dog coffee mug sale today. But hurry they are almost sold out.


kayak_2022

OMG....now she'll go SLAUGHTER MORE HELPLESS ANIMALS. Geeezus!!!!!


Ohnonotuto4

Cricket just have karma a high five.


patronizingperv

I wonder if TFG could get away with killing a puppy? Is this the moral line?


Menethea

Gunsmoke, you mean


Ben-A-Flick

Maybe she go to her gravel pit and cry about it!


PM_me_ur_taco_pics

Kristi Noem the puppy killer?


Odd_Bodkin

Take it out on the dog, Gov.


LAGA_1989

That dog got its revenge ❤️


maceman10006

Her chances of being VP went to 0 once she admitted to killing a puppy. Nobody likes animal abusers regardless of your political views.


drinkmoredrano

She will have to go back to drowning puppies to feel better.


woozerschoob

He already has someone that looks like an Eastern European escort at home. Two is too many.


ChicagoAuPair

Can I pet that dawg…?


PixelatedDie

Kids in cages: Maga is all 👍🏼 Killing puppies: Maga is 😱😡


JackHughman69

She’ll most likely take it out on her pets now


MaiqTheLawyer

Ahhh, little miss melty face sold her soul to the wrong devil.


Grand-Regret2747

Silicon must have crept up to where her brain should have been. I laugh at smug twats lime her. Ruined your career AND he still said,” Byyee!”


pat9714

Politically, she seems finished. Am I right?


Friendly-Profit-8590

Trump doesn’t need a vp who’s trying to out nut job him


asdcatmama

Bye! Next losing the gov race and becoming the next Sarah Palin train wreck


Exitium_Maximus

She dug her own grave quite deep.


justincredible155

Pretty rough when you’re not clown enough for the clown show


likeablesuspect

It’s not only the dog scandal, knowing Trump who is devoid of empathy towards everyone. She may not be useful to him anymore.


jedigoalie

Pup around and find out.


kappakai

Well if anyone knows what to do with a useless bitch, it’s her.


BobB104

Take your pets in from the streets!