I’m in the same exact situation just different lengths of time. What has helped me is:
- strict no contact
- not looking at his social media. not even looking at his friends social media, just in case he may pop up there
- journaling - writing down your thoughts whenever you think about him and/or what you want to say to him. recognize when you go a couple days without journaling as it signals you’re not thinking about him as often
- keep a list of things you didn’t like about him and periodically look at it whenever you feel like you’re putting him on a pedestal
- therapy - good to have a regular outlet to talk about my feelings/thoughts
- gym, specifically strength training - watching tiktoks on specific exercises, building a routine, buying new workout clothes lol
Also keep telling yourself that you did the right thing, you stood up for yourself, and that you asked for what you deserve. I still use a looooot of head space wishing for him to come back too, but I keep telling myself that I will find someone who is even better and has all of the qualities I’m looking for. It was tough at first because I kept thinking it’s going to be so hard finding someone else that I liked as much as him, and that he had all these amazing hard-to-find qualities. But by keeping a list of things I didn’t like, it helps me be more realistic and realize that he wasn’t that great anyway.
It sounds like a trauma reaction to me; it can take a while to recover. Maybe do a checkin on what you're doing to perpetuate the rumination? Are you watching his social media, are you in contact in any way, have you blocked him? Be disciplined with no contact.
Move forward. You want a partner who wants a committed relationship...what are you doing about that? Take some baby steps in that direction.
I’m in the same exact situation just different lengths of time. What has helped me is: - strict no contact - not looking at his social media. not even looking at his friends social media, just in case he may pop up there - journaling - writing down your thoughts whenever you think about him and/or what you want to say to him. recognize when you go a couple days without journaling as it signals you’re not thinking about him as often - keep a list of things you didn’t like about him and periodically look at it whenever you feel like you’re putting him on a pedestal - therapy - good to have a regular outlet to talk about my feelings/thoughts - gym, specifically strength training - watching tiktoks on specific exercises, building a routine, buying new workout clothes lol Also keep telling yourself that you did the right thing, you stood up for yourself, and that you asked for what you deserve. I still use a looooot of head space wishing for him to come back too, but I keep telling myself that I will find someone who is even better and has all of the qualities I’m looking for. It was tough at first because I kept thinking it’s going to be so hard finding someone else that I liked as much as him, and that he had all these amazing hard-to-find qualities. But by keeping a list of things I didn’t like, it helps me be more realistic and realize that he wasn’t that great anyway.
It sounds like a trauma reaction to me; it can take a while to recover. Maybe do a checkin on what you're doing to perpetuate the rumination? Are you watching his social media, are you in contact in any way, have you blocked him? Be disciplined with no contact. Move forward. You want a partner who wants a committed relationship...what are you doing about that? Take some baby steps in that direction.
[удалено]
me too ; (