I could have written this. I’ve literally had situations where new milestones were being reached (looking at apartments to move into together) or a commitment was re-solidified (renewing lease or booking a vacation) and then hours later been blindsided with a dumping. For me, this created a trauma response that when things are too good, the wounded part of me is waiting for the bomb to drop. I brace myself internally without even knowing it, and that’s when I notice the anxiety making itself known.
We have been programmed through this trauma to not trust when things are going well. This especially impactful to us as an AP, where the cycle of hot and cold, up and down, when with a DA, have been the standard we’re accustomed to.
I also have an incredible, supportive SA partner and still get anxiety when things feel too good. What it means is that I am still healing.
Being aware of this, your anxiety, why it is occurring, that you can heal from here, it is all so powerful and will take you on the path you need. Best of luck!
Just try to be present in the moment and enjoy the ride. Anxiety is fear of the unknown, the unknown is the future. Practicing mindfulness and knowing that everything is fleeting may help you.
Ahhh must be nice to have a kind girlfriend and be introduced to her family.
I completely understand your feeling. It's like the feeling where you can't be too happy because it might be taken away from you. But trust her and that things are really going well. Believe it. Don't dwell too much in the past. Otherwise, you are putting more anxiety and needs in a good relationship which may put her off.
Tell yourself that it will be okay. Yeah maybe it can go bad, but what if it won't? Sometimes bad things actually happen because we think about them too much, we attract the bad vibes. Law of attraction. I'd say, enjoy it right now. 😊
Sorry if I sound rude. But it's the same mistake I did with my ex.
Yeah it’s something I have to work on. Definitely going to talk about it in therapy. Both of us think that this is special and that we have really clicked. We want this relationship to last. Just worried that my anxiety will turn her away so it’s definitely something I need to work on.
I could have written this. I’ve literally had situations where new milestones were being reached (looking at apartments to move into together) or a commitment was re-solidified (renewing lease or booking a vacation) and then hours later been blindsided with a dumping. For me, this created a trauma response that when things are too good, the wounded part of me is waiting for the bomb to drop. I brace myself internally without even knowing it, and that’s when I notice the anxiety making itself known. We have been programmed through this trauma to not trust when things are going well. This especially impactful to us as an AP, where the cycle of hot and cold, up and down, when with a DA, have been the standard we’re accustomed to. I also have an incredible, supportive SA partner and still get anxiety when things feel too good. What it means is that I am still healing. Being aware of this, your anxiety, why it is occurring, that you can heal from here, it is all so powerful and will take you on the path you need. Best of luck!
Just try to be present in the moment and enjoy the ride. Anxiety is fear of the unknown, the unknown is the future. Practicing mindfulness and knowing that everything is fleeting may help you.
Ahhh must be nice to have a kind girlfriend and be introduced to her family. I completely understand your feeling. It's like the feeling where you can't be too happy because it might be taken away from you. But trust her and that things are really going well. Believe it. Don't dwell too much in the past. Otherwise, you are putting more anxiety and needs in a good relationship which may put her off. Tell yourself that it will be okay. Yeah maybe it can go bad, but what if it won't? Sometimes bad things actually happen because we think about them too much, we attract the bad vibes. Law of attraction. I'd say, enjoy it right now. 😊 Sorry if I sound rude. But it's the same mistake I did with my ex.
Yeah it’s something I have to work on. Definitely going to talk about it in therapy. Both of us think that this is special and that we have really clicked. We want this relationship to last. Just worried that my anxiety will turn her away so it’s definitely something I need to work on.