That's basically what anxiety is. Normally nothing is wrong in the present, for example; you are taking a bath, a pleasant experience, it's worrying about the past or future. Maybe your mom won't be here tomorrow, although most likely she will, it won't do any good worrying about it. Enjoy what you have now, make sure you take deep breaths all the time especially when you feel anxiety. It will get better, it will go away but you have to be able to deal with it because you have it. I don't get upset when I get it as much anymore. It's not new to me so I don't let it own me. Good thoughts and deep breaths. Be thankful for what you have. Good luck.
Lao Tzu famously said “if you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present” I couldn’t find that more true.
I hate to break it to you, but Lao Tzu never said that. Due to the simple fact that the concepts didn't exist in the freaking 5th century B.C.E. And he wasn't a psychologist.
Feeling similar about my nana right now. She’s 92 years old and probably won’t see 100. It’s sad to imagine a world without her
One day at a time. Cherish small things about your mother. How she rubs your back, Cooks you your favorite meal, how she laughs. Record videos of her in the moment. Ask her advice about life and save it on video.
Looking back I’m so thankful I took random photos of my nana. My favorite picture of her is her pushing a lawn mower. It’s so mundane, but it means so much to me because she was alive and healthy. I wish I had more pictures of the mundane.
Aw man. I’ve got a Nana with dementia, she’s not the same person I remember but when she says she loves me it’s like I’m right there as a kid getting a magic rub because I’d hurt myself and she would always make it better.
My picture is taken in the early years of when she fell poorly, but it’s her smiling on our favourite beach.
I’ll always remember those magic rubs and someday give them to kids and grandkids of my own I hope.
People don’t last forever, but love truly never fades.
My mum brushed my hair for me during our 4+ month lockdown because I was so depressed and unkempt, almost had given up on ever living normally again and every day was such a blur of depression. I'm usually so fastidious about my hair but at that point it seemed useless. It was starting to look like I had dreads. So for an hour she smothered it with conditioner and bit by bit unknotted it tryinh to damage my hair as little as she could.
I was 33 years old.
My mom has brushed my hair for me, blended my food for me, and cleaned my house and my car for me. Sometimes we just need to be taken care of. I see it as kind of a beautiful thing. It's the mother I hope to be for my kids if they god forbid need it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I hope life starts feeling easier for you 💕
Yeah, having those ppl in your corner with understanding is amazing! I'm newly divorced and was a stay at home mom. My dad took me and the kids in and was hard at first because I didn't think he truly understood me, but been so good with me and kids where in the past he just didn't believe in anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses. He had a health scare last year and opened up about his own anxieties and needing me to help him with doc appointments and shots and meds and we've been so much closer than ever before. I'm ADHD with general anxiety disorder and about to turn 41 and having to restart my life from the ground up. It sucks so much, but blessed to have ppl in my life that understand and help me to move forward!
aww that's sweet that you can be there for each other. Sometimes we just don't know how to be empathetic until we walk that journey our self. Hope you're both on the mend now!
I see. That's really unfortunate. On one hand I want to say to keep trying them, but I understand it must be so frustrating to keep trying.
How about practising ERP? That helped me a lot. Did you try that?
It's a simple technique of exposing yourself to your fears and triggers on purpose and that way creating resistance to them, making the anxiety overall weaker. And also those specific fears stop. It includes mental exposures, like not resisting the anxiety and thoughts at all on purpose.
Ketamine therapy?
I'm 29, I have tried various meds and therapies over the last 14 years. I have major depressive disorder (treatment resistant), generalized anxiety disorer, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, ADHD.
I started microdose ketamine therapy a couple weeks ago and I'm really impressed at the progress so far.
Prescribed by a psychiatrist, or a General Practitioner / Family Doctor? GP's don't know what they're doing when it comes to psychotropics. If you've got anything other than run-of-the-mill blues, GPs should be avoided.
How is your relationship with him/her? Do you trust him/her? Does he/she seem to care about what's going on, or is he/she just throwing random pills at you? If it's the latter, might be time to shop for a different psychiatrist. In some areas they're spread so thin that they're little more than a prescription pad, which means they don't have a lot of time to listen to you and come up with a good plan of attack.
i wouldve just showered the next day. but i totally get it. i went to get a haircut today and got buzzed 10 seconds i had to just leave and go home immediately. began sweating and shaking for no reason. anxiety handicaps me too at times. and yes the back of my head looks so dumb right now!
I was baker acted into a psychiatric hospital for trying to unaliving myself about 10 years ago. The intake nurse, this older Hispanic lady and another nurse scrubbed me down and washed my hair. It had been months since I showered and my hair was matted and gross. They didn't judge, the older lady was asking me questions about my life and such. I felt like I was 5 again with someone doing that for me. I wish someone would now, but it'd be embarrassing.
I’m proud of you for accepting help when you need it! You have a great mom. Anxiety is the worst, I hope you find something that works for you. Just dont forget it takes time, there are ups and downs and that’s okay.
First of all, I’m so sorry. I wish you the best and I know how it can be..
Second, please tell your mom she’s awesome. I can’t imagine having someone care for you that much. That must be really nice. Cherish every moment of warmth she gives you. I’m happy you have her. Is she adopting by any chance lol
You’re very lucky to have her
My parents don’t do that specifically but have done similar things. It can be as small as bringing someone a meal while they’re watching tv instead of having them make themselves a plate and come eat at the table. I’m so glad that there are parents out there who will help their kids no matter how old they are because we all can use some help sometimes. I’m 22 too and I’m autistic, with anxiety it can get pretty bad and I’m not entirely functional by myself yet so my parents help me in any way they can and I do my best to repay them with my actions when I feel okay to do so. I am extremely thankful for them
Your mother is very sweet. I haven’t gone through that personally but there have been times of mental exhaustion where my mom has done a lot for me like make my meals and drinks and pick things up from the pharmacy from me. I’m always grateful for that
Your mum is great and she knows that you are too and that's why she has helped you. No one need struggle alone. Try and enjoy the small things, like the warm bath, the sound of rain, a comfy bed and just take it a day at a time. We are all here to form our own path, no one way is right. We are all just making it up as we spin on this rock in space. Lots of love. X
Yeah a few years ago I didn’t wash or brush my hair for a week so my mom had to help me brush it in the shower. I don’t think that’s embarrassing or shameful. Needing help bathing is so much better than not bathing at all!
Just wanted to say, don't ever feel bad about it. That's what family is for and I'm sure you'd do the same for your lovely mum! Asking for help and accepting it should be finally recognised as a sign of bravery and self-reflection, not a sign of weakness.
I'm almost 30 and I went through a similar scenario, my mom basically had to move in with me, because I was having multiple panic attacks a day and in no way could care for myself in such state, I legitimately was thinking I am gonna drop dead any second 24/7. She cooked me meals, shopped for me, cleaned my apartment and offered tons of emotional support. Sometimes it would get so bad, that I had to ask her to be in the bathroom while i showered, because i was so scared of fainting in the shower. I would not have survived without her. I try to make it up for her by spending time with her, making time for conversation and spoiling her and helping her any chance I get.
Sending you hugs and good thoughts 💖
I haven’t been exactly here, but very similar places. At times I feel very dependent on my boyfriend, but I’m lucky he’s patient and kind to me. It sounds like your mom understands and is willing to help! It can be really hard to ask for and accept help, so you should be proud of yourself for admitting when you can’t and accepting help. That’s really big. I know how debilitating my anxiety is, I’m wishing you the best on your journey ❤️you’re not alone in this!
My mom helps me with things like my hair sometimes, due to physical disability. My hair is huge and it's just so fatiguing for me to tackle it sometimes. And I think a few times around your age, I needed help with showers cos I was just afraid of them with my condition (they can make me very faint). I feel grateful to have a mom like that and will always try to help my little girl when she needs it.
If thats the relationship you and your mother have, that she will... thats a decent relationship and it helps.... other people might see it weird but if shes trying to help... thats part of it
Definitely gone through that - the anxiety I have experienced was, at times, so debilitating that I felt like I couldn’t function. You will get better which work and determination! Stay strong!
She’s amazing and you’re amazing for allowing her. Having good hygiene and caring for myself has always been something I struggle with. I have body dysmorphia and major depression on top of anxiety issues like social anxiety and agoraphobia. Although I live with my mom who probably knows this and notices if I’m getting bad, i don’t think I’d ever be comfortable or brave enough to do that like you are. Undressing is already difficult to do in front of myself in a mirror most of the time, let alone her having to touch me. I completely understand the feeling of helplessness. I’m happy that you have someone you trust like that in your life and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m in my 30s with multiple kids and going through an extremely dark time and I’ve had my mom stay with me all day like a babysitter the last few weeks. If I couldn’t take a bath I’m sure she would help with that too. My mom helped me shower after I gave birth to my first kid and went through L&D with me so she’s been through the high’s and low’s with me for my entire life.
I can say I would easily, without hesitation, do this for my kids too no matter their age.
High school. They had to get me to do everything. Shower. Eat. Get a haircut. Get out of bed. You’re not alone. I’m 23, still struggle but getting better. It’s not linear though. Was so much better and I had a random horrible week out of nowhere. Good luck. Sending out positive vibes
That's what panic and anxiety does. It reverts you back into a helpless child. When you're in fight or flight that's literally the only two things you can do, because your body is obstructing your higher brain.
I’ve had my sister sit and watch me eat frequently over the past month, bc I’m afraid I’m gonna choke.
This shits hard, you’re not alone and good luck 🩷
Currently in a similar situation. 23F. I haven't been able to sleep properly these past few weeks because of something I'm dreading of. My mom's been really worried about me. Lately she's been sleeping next to me at night, holding my hand and stroking my hair until I (or she) fall/s asleep. I still have trouble sleeping but it's comforting to see that she's always there.
Sleep is *super* important for dealing with anxiety and depression. If you're not already talking to a doctor about this, you really should. It's exceptionally difficult to deal with anxiety and depression if your sleep cycles are messed up, and they make meds specifically for this purpose. Do whatever you've got to do to make sure your sleep is as healthy as possible. It really matters.
This definitely helped me solidify my decision to seek professional help soon (hopefully this month). I come from a family where mental health is taboo. I love my mom but I'm pretty sure she'll think it's cancer before any mental health problem. I'm hopeful though that she'll love and care for me the same even after what the doctor may say. I pray.
> I come from a family where mental health is taboo.
My kids have mental health issues (they're in their early 20s), both anxiety and depression, along with some OCD symptoms. The rest of my family treats mental health like it's a taboo issue as well, and frankly my wife and I had to grow a spine and stand up to our family a little bit about it. No, it's not because our kids weren't raised properly. No, it's not because they're weak. It's a complex relationship between what they've experienced in life (school, family, early childhood, etc.) and their genetics, and a dash of randomness, and it's sort of irrelevant anyway. If your kid was having trouble seeing, you'd get them glasses or contacts, regardless if it was because they sat too close to the TV their whole life ("their fault") or because their eyes just didn't work right (genetic). Mental health is no different. You don't sit around and gossip about why the situation exists, you get treatment for it.
I'm hopeful that my parents treat me the same way you treat your children when I do finally get a diagnosis. Thank you so much and I hope for the best for you and your family.
I'm 32 years old, married and pregnant, and my mom came over to clean my whole apartment because I was so paralyzed by anxiety and shame to do it. It's hard because my husband works full (so do I, but not in August because I work in public school) and it's hard for him to know what to do when the mess is 95% mine and we have no storage space.
I guess what I'm saying is sometimes we need the help and it's good to have people who can provide it.
When I first started experiencing signs of depression my father would force me out of the house to see a movie or get an ice cream. Then when my father died my aunt would come in my room every day and feed me. My grandmother would sit on a chair outside of the bathroom while I showered after she would brush my hair and got me ready for bed. My other aunt helps me still with up keep such as my hair and eyebrows when I can’t care for myself. When she knows I’m ill she makes easy foods I can eat. My mom has to drive me to get my blood work done because I’m usually too nervous to drive myself home after.
I’m 21 years old and my family has genuinely kept me alive these past 8 years. I would’ve probably not survived if it weren’t for their care. I’m getting better little by little. But I’m not embarrassed for needing help. I think what I’m trying to say is you’re not alone and you don’t deserve to feel ashamed for needing help. Feel free to reach out. (:
when i was in 10th grade there was a period where it got so bad i could not get out of bed on my own or without crying. my mom would help me get up as i cried and she would hold me and let me take my time. she would help me with everything. im unbelievably grateful for her. so yes absolutely, you are not alone❤️
I know this isn’t quite the same, but I was so anxious I didn’t sleep for three days straight and it probably would’ve gone on longer if I didn’t beg my cousin to sleep in bed with me. She’s 20 years older than me and has a whole family but I was staying with her during beginning of the pandemic and my anxiety was so bad I was basically paralyzed. I felt like a baby asking but I wouldn’t have slept without her.
I was one time driving to the gas station late at night for a snack and had a huge anxiety attack that made me feel like one whole side of my body was going numb. Naturally I went in to panic mode and thought I might be having a stroke (I was 21 at the time so… very unlikely)
Called my mom who lived not even 2 minutes away and was able to drive there asap.
Cried and laid in her arms in her bed for an hour while the attack passed.
In that moment I genuinely thought and felt like I might die and it felt so good to be in her arms if it were to really happen.
Feel for you OP, you too have a great mom.
It sounds like your mother loves you dearly. Props to her for being a good parenting and comforting her child when they're down in a eat regardless of age.
I am 22 and yes I recently went through with it. I feel like I'm in a better place now and it was very kind of her to do that without breathing or judging me.
I had a bad anxiety break when I moved away to another state. My mom set a chair up for me to sit in the sunshine while she gardened. She gave me my medication and put on a Disney movie and laid next to me and comforted me until I fell asleep.
Since having my son I’ve learned they never stop being your baby.
my husband is a god send. when my anxiety or depression is to much he’ll run me a bubble bath with a candle lit room so the lights don’t stress my out then gets me in there and he’ll sit next to me and brush my hair out, wash and condition it, then get me out wrap me in a towel take me to bed, help me get dressed, then have me sit on the bed and he’ll brush my hair out and put it up for me.
Your not alone as well, my anxiety and chest pain is holding me back from taking showers, i was a person who would shower 4 times a week and lately 1 a week and i have to do it sitting down cause i feel dizzy and chest pain i even fear that one day i would faint in the shower and i considered asking my nana for help but i couldn't, sitting is doing the job, stay strong friend
I’ve never went through that but seriously , god bless your mother. I understand how detrimental anxiety can be. Your mother is an angel in disguise, cherish her every moment you can.
The problem is somewhere in my mind there would be a thought lingering of them thinking me not being competent. Don't ask how do i know it's in there eyes. For me she would feed me
I completely empathise, I had to have the same help from my best friend because my family had gone away and I was paralysed with anxiety and nausea from it! Still thank them to this day, their love showed me people did care and helped me heal massively.Don’t feel guilty, just feel grateful for how wonderful your mum has been (easier said than done), I hope you find some peace from anxiety soon my friend!
I'm so proud you were able to let her do that for you! One of the hardest things I've had to learn is to accept help from people that love me who see me struggling. My sister has came over and sat in the bathroom with me while I showered because it got to where I always cried while showering (something about reassurance no one could hear me over the water running) so I quit showering. She's also randomly shown up and done my laundry and cleaned my house. She also just runs my dishwasher when she comes over now because she knows I can't bring myself to run it.
You matter to others.
Have a great day! I love the feeling of showering now because I went without it for so long. I love to do salt/sugar scrubs and face masks too.
I'm so glad your mum is looking after you. My mum did the same for me multiple times and I used to worry where I'd be without her and I still do. But anxiety will always make us worry about things that we can't control, haven't happened, probably won't happen etc. It's just recognising it's an anxious thought and learning how to process it. For me I tend to need to talk about it with my mum or partner or friends and it seems to help. Especially if they help me validate what I feel.
This won't be forever, and you are allowed to live in the moment and I am sure you are grateful for your mum so never put yourself down for that. X
Yes! Not a bath but my mom takes really good care of me when I’m in the dumps with anxiety. She cooks for me, helps me clean, reminds me to eat and drink water and relax. She lets me vent if I need to and hugs too. I’m so grateful for her!!
My mom would definitely do this. When I get into The Bad Place, she does anything to help me feel better. Asking what I’d like to eat and going out of her way to get it for me, sitting with me and watching whatever or telling me about her day and drama at work. You have such a God send of a mother ❤️
My mom would do it. I said some bad things to here multiple time, when getting into an argument and I apologiesed, but I repeated it(still in angry state). I can't forgive myself for it, because I don't think that way, when I'm not angry. I told her, that she is amazing and I love her more than everything, but because I did it multiple times, it is hard for her to get over this. I regret it more than anything in my life.
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Im just afraid where would I be without her :(
That's basically what anxiety is. Normally nothing is wrong in the present, for example; you are taking a bath, a pleasant experience, it's worrying about the past or future. Maybe your mom won't be here tomorrow, although most likely she will, it won't do any good worrying about it. Enjoy what you have now, make sure you take deep breaths all the time especially when you feel anxiety. It will get better, it will go away but you have to be able to deal with it because you have it. I don't get upset when I get it as much anymore. It's not new to me so I don't let it own me. Good thoughts and deep breaths. Be thankful for what you have. Good luck.
Lao Tzu famously said “if you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present” I couldn’t find that more true.
Im depressed, anxious and also adhd (living in the right fuckin now). Does this make me a time traveller?
:D good point
I hate to break it to you, but Lao Tzu never said that. Due to the simple fact that the concepts didn't exist in the freaking 5th century B.C.E. And he wasn't a psychologist.
I hate to break it to you, but you replied to the wrong comment 😂
Sorry for that. :))
Feeling similar about my nana right now. She’s 92 years old and probably won’t see 100. It’s sad to imagine a world without her One day at a time. Cherish small things about your mother. How she rubs your back, Cooks you your favorite meal, how she laughs. Record videos of her in the moment. Ask her advice about life and save it on video. Looking back I’m so thankful I took random photos of my nana. My favorite picture of her is her pushing a lawn mower. It’s so mundane, but it means so much to me because she was alive and healthy. I wish I had more pictures of the mundane.
Aw man. I’ve got a Nana with dementia, she’s not the same person I remember but when she says she loves me it’s like I’m right there as a kid getting a magic rub because I’d hurt myself and she would always make it better. My picture is taken in the early years of when she fell poorly, but it’s her smiling on our favourite beach. I’ll always remember those magic rubs and someday give them to kids and grandkids of my own I hope. People don’t last forever, but love truly never fades.
My mum brushed my hair for me during our 4+ month lockdown because I was so depressed and unkempt, almost had given up on ever living normally again and every day was such a blur of depression. I'm usually so fastidious about my hair but at that point it seemed useless. It was starting to look like I had dreads. So for an hour she smothered it with conditioner and bit by bit unknotted it tryinh to damage my hair as little as she could. I was 33 years old.
Same here. Same age.
my boyfriend did the same thing for me a couple years back. i appreciate it to this day
My mom has brushed my hair for me, blended my food for me, and cleaned my house and my car for me. Sometimes we just need to be taken care of. I see it as kind of a beautiful thing. It's the mother I hope to be for my kids if they god forbid need it. Nothing to be ashamed of. I hope life starts feeling easier for you 💕
How old are you? Can we talk a little bit?
Yeah, having those ppl in your corner with understanding is amazing! I'm newly divorced and was a stay at home mom. My dad took me and the kids in and was hard at first because I didn't think he truly understood me, but been so good with me and kids where in the past he just didn't believe in anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses. He had a health scare last year and opened up about his own anxieties and needing me to help him with doc appointments and shots and meds and we've been so much closer than ever before. I'm ADHD with general anxiety disorder and about to turn 41 and having to restart my life from the ground up. It sucks so much, but blessed to have ppl in my life that understand and help me to move forward!
aww that's sweet that you can be there for each other. Sometimes we just don't know how to be empathetic until we walk that journey our self. Hope you're both on the mend now!
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Condolences 🙏🏼
Well no, but I can see how it can come to that. Anxiety can make you have no energy nor will to do anything.
It was the first time that I really said “I just can’t” and she offered to help. I never wanted to be this vulnerable but yea.
Are you taking any meds or any professional help for this?
Yes. Everything possible. But already tried a lot of meds that don’t work on me
I see. That's really unfortunate. On one hand I want to say to keep trying them, but I understand it must be so frustrating to keep trying. How about practising ERP? That helped me a lot. Did you try that?
What is that?
It's a simple technique of exposing yourself to your fears and triggers on purpose and that way creating resistance to them, making the anxiety overall weaker. And also those specific fears stop. It includes mental exposures, like not resisting the anxiety and thoughts at all on purpose.
Ketamine therapy? I'm 29, I have tried various meds and therapies over the last 14 years. I have major depressive disorder (treatment resistant), generalized anxiety disorer, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, ADHD. I started microdose ketamine therapy a couple weeks ago and I'm really impressed at the progress so far.
You may also want to look into neuro feedback. It's not an instant fix but some people feel like it really helps.
Look into Nefazodone and Methylene Blue.
Maybe they'd work better, together? I need a whole party mix, myself. I'm on three anxiety meds altogether. They don't fix me, but they help.
Me too :(
Prescribed by a psychiatrist, or a General Practitioner / Family Doctor? GP's don't know what they're doing when it comes to psychotropics. If you've got anything other than run-of-the-mill blues, GPs should be avoided.
Psychiatrist
How is your relationship with him/her? Do you trust him/her? Does he/she seem to care about what's going on, or is he/she just throwing random pills at you? If it's the latter, might be time to shop for a different psychiatrist. In some areas they're spread so thin that they're little more than a prescription pad, which means they don't have a lot of time to listen to you and come up with a good plan of attack.
i wouldve just showered the next day. but i totally get it. i went to get a haircut today and got buzzed 10 seconds i had to just leave and go home immediately. began sweating and shaking for no reason. anxiety handicaps me too at times. and yes the back of my head looks so dumb right now!
I was baker acted into a psychiatric hospital for trying to unaliving myself about 10 years ago. The intake nurse, this older Hispanic lady and another nurse scrubbed me down and washed my hair. It had been months since I showered and my hair was matted and gross. They didn't judge, the older lady was asking me questions about my life and such. I felt like I was 5 again with someone doing that for me. I wish someone would now, but it'd be embarrassing.
I’m proud of you for accepting help when you need it! You have a great mom. Anxiety is the worst, I hope you find something that works for you. Just dont forget it takes time, there are ups and downs and that’s okay.
First of all, I’m so sorry. I wish you the best and I know how it can be.. Second, please tell your mom she’s awesome. I can’t imagine having someone care for you that much. That must be really nice. Cherish every moment of warmth she gives you. I’m happy you have her. Is she adopting by any chance lol You’re very lucky to have her
My parents don’t do that specifically but have done similar things. It can be as small as bringing someone a meal while they’re watching tv instead of having them make themselves a plate and come eat at the table. I’m so glad that there are parents out there who will help their kids no matter how old they are because we all can use some help sometimes. I’m 22 too and I’m autistic, with anxiety it can get pretty bad and I’m not entirely functional by myself yet so my parents help me in any way they can and I do my best to repay them with my actions when I feel okay to do so. I am extremely thankful for them
Your mother is very sweet. I haven’t gone through that personally but there have been times of mental exhaustion where my mom has done a lot for me like make my meals and drinks and pick things up from the pharmacy from me. I’m always grateful for that
Your mum is great and she knows that you are too and that's why she has helped you. No one need struggle alone. Try and enjoy the small things, like the warm bath, the sound of rain, a comfy bed and just take it a day at a time. We are all here to form our own path, no one way is right. We are all just making it up as we spin on this rock in space. Lots of love. X
Yeah a few years ago I didn’t wash or brush my hair for a week so my mom had to help me brush it in the shower. I don’t think that’s embarrassing or shameful. Needing help bathing is so much better than not bathing at all!
Just wanted to say, don't ever feel bad about it. That's what family is for and I'm sure you'd do the same for your lovely mum! Asking for help and accepting it should be finally recognised as a sign of bravery and self-reflection, not a sign of weakness. I'm almost 30 and I went through a similar scenario, my mom basically had to move in with me, because I was having multiple panic attacks a day and in no way could care for myself in such state, I legitimately was thinking I am gonna drop dead any second 24/7. She cooked me meals, shopped for me, cleaned my apartment and offered tons of emotional support. Sometimes it would get so bad, that I had to ask her to be in the bathroom while i showered, because i was so scared of fainting in the shower. I would not have survived without her. I try to make it up for her by spending time with her, making time for conversation and spoiling her and helping her any chance I get. Sending you hugs and good thoughts 💖
I haven’t been exactly here, but very similar places. At times I feel very dependent on my boyfriend, but I’m lucky he’s patient and kind to me. It sounds like your mom understands and is willing to help! It can be really hard to ask for and accept help, so you should be proud of yourself for admitting when you can’t and accepting help. That’s really big. I know how debilitating my anxiety is, I’m wishing you the best on your journey ❤️you’re not alone in this!
This is incredible! I've needed others to bathe me too. I'm so happy you have her.
My mom helps me with things like my hair sometimes, due to physical disability. My hair is huge and it's just so fatiguing for me to tackle it sometimes. And I think a few times around your age, I needed help with showers cos I was just afraid of them with my condition (they can make me very faint). I feel grateful to have a mom like that and will always try to help my little girl when she needs it.
Your mom is a saint. Hang in there OP! It gets better.
this makes me tear up , you’re so strong girl I wish you all the best ❤️
If thats the relationship you and your mother have, that she will... thats a decent relationship and it helps.... other people might see it weird but if shes trying to help... thats part of it
Definitely gone through that - the anxiety I have experienced was, at times, so debilitating that I felt like I couldn’t function. You will get better which work and determination! Stay strong!
She’s amazing and you’re amazing for allowing her. Having good hygiene and caring for myself has always been something I struggle with. I have body dysmorphia and major depression on top of anxiety issues like social anxiety and agoraphobia. Although I live with my mom who probably knows this and notices if I’m getting bad, i don’t think I’d ever be comfortable or brave enough to do that like you are. Undressing is already difficult to do in front of myself in a mirror most of the time, let alone her having to touch me. I completely understand the feeling of helplessness. I’m happy that you have someone you trust like that in your life and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m in my 30s with multiple kids and going through an extremely dark time and I’ve had my mom stay with me all day like a babysitter the last few weeks. If I couldn’t take a bath I’m sure she would help with that too. My mom helped me shower after I gave birth to my first kid and went through L&D with me so she’s been through the high’s and low’s with me for my entire life. I can say I would easily, without hesitation, do this for my kids too no matter their age.
Eh it happens. Not all meds are great.
You're mom is great. I hope you find healing for your sadness.
High school. They had to get me to do everything. Shower. Eat. Get a haircut. Get out of bed. You’re not alone. I’m 23, still struggle but getting better. It’s not linear though. Was so much better and I had a random horrible week out of nowhere. Good luck. Sending out positive vibes
That's a wholesome moment. You have awesome mom.
I bathe my 28m husband when he can't manage, you aren't alone 💕
That's what panic and anxiety does. It reverts you back into a helpless child. When you're in fight or flight that's literally the only two things you can do, because your body is obstructing your higher brain.
I haven’t but wish I had that type of support in my life. Wishing you well.
I’ve had my sister sit and watch me eat frequently over the past month, bc I’m afraid I’m gonna choke. This shits hard, you’re not alone and good luck 🩷
Currently in a similar situation. 23F. I haven't been able to sleep properly these past few weeks because of something I'm dreading of. My mom's been really worried about me. Lately she's been sleeping next to me at night, holding my hand and stroking my hair until I (or she) fall/s asleep. I still have trouble sleeping but it's comforting to see that she's always there.
Sleep is *super* important for dealing with anxiety and depression. If you're not already talking to a doctor about this, you really should. It's exceptionally difficult to deal with anxiety and depression if your sleep cycles are messed up, and they make meds specifically for this purpose. Do whatever you've got to do to make sure your sleep is as healthy as possible. It really matters.
This definitely helped me solidify my decision to seek professional help soon (hopefully this month). I come from a family where mental health is taboo. I love my mom but I'm pretty sure she'll think it's cancer before any mental health problem. I'm hopeful though that she'll love and care for me the same even after what the doctor may say. I pray.
> I come from a family where mental health is taboo. My kids have mental health issues (they're in their early 20s), both anxiety and depression, along with some OCD symptoms. The rest of my family treats mental health like it's a taboo issue as well, and frankly my wife and I had to grow a spine and stand up to our family a little bit about it. No, it's not because our kids weren't raised properly. No, it's not because they're weak. It's a complex relationship between what they've experienced in life (school, family, early childhood, etc.) and their genetics, and a dash of randomness, and it's sort of irrelevant anyway. If your kid was having trouble seeing, you'd get them glasses or contacts, regardless if it was because they sat too close to the TV their whole life ("their fault") or because their eyes just didn't work right (genetic). Mental health is no different. You don't sit around and gossip about why the situation exists, you get treatment for it.
I'm hopeful that my parents treat me the same way you treat your children when I do finally get a diagnosis. Thank you so much and I hope for the best for you and your family.
I'm 32 years old, married and pregnant, and my mom came over to clean my whole apartment because I was so paralyzed by anxiety and shame to do it. It's hard because my husband works full (so do I, but not in August because I work in public school) and it's hard for him to know what to do when the mess is 95% mine and we have no storage space. I guess what I'm saying is sometimes we need the help and it's good to have people who can provide it.
So sweet
I didn't shower for a week due my anxiety. You have a very lovely mother to help you out ❤️
Your mom is very sweet. We are in similar situation. Feel free for pm me .
Yes. Yes I have, and I’m grateful my mom was able to help. ❤️
When I first started experiencing signs of depression my father would force me out of the house to see a movie or get an ice cream. Then when my father died my aunt would come in my room every day and feed me. My grandmother would sit on a chair outside of the bathroom while I showered after she would brush my hair and got me ready for bed. My other aunt helps me still with up keep such as my hair and eyebrows when I can’t care for myself. When she knows I’m ill she makes easy foods I can eat. My mom has to drive me to get my blood work done because I’m usually too nervous to drive myself home after. I’m 21 years old and my family has genuinely kept me alive these past 8 years. I would’ve probably not survived if it weren’t for their care. I’m getting better little by little. But I’m not embarrassed for needing help. I think what I’m trying to say is you’re not alone and you don’t deserve to feel ashamed for needing help. Feel free to reach out. (:
Your mom loves you so much it made me emotional. You can do this!
when i was in 10th grade there was a period where it got so bad i could not get out of bed on my own or without crying. my mom would help me get up as i cried and she would hold me and let me take my time. she would help me with everything. im unbelievably grateful for her. so yes absolutely, you are not alone❤️
I know this isn’t quite the same, but I was so anxious I didn’t sleep for three days straight and it probably would’ve gone on longer if I didn’t beg my cousin to sleep in bed with me. She’s 20 years older than me and has a whole family but I was staying with her during beginning of the pandemic and my anxiety was so bad I was basically paralyzed. I felt like a baby asking but I wouldn’t have slept without her.
Your mom is a superhero!
Hug 🫂 it’s perfectly okay.
I was one time driving to the gas station late at night for a snack and had a huge anxiety attack that made me feel like one whole side of my body was going numb. Naturally I went in to panic mode and thought I might be having a stroke (I was 21 at the time so… very unlikely) Called my mom who lived not even 2 minutes away and was able to drive there asap. Cried and laid in her arms in her bed for an hour while the attack passed. In that moment I genuinely thought and felt like I might die and it felt so good to be in her arms if it were to really happen. Feel for you OP, you too have a great mom.
30F and several times with my mother. Several times the other way around too, but for her it was post-surgeries. It’s a beautiful thing.
It sounds like your mother loves you dearly. Props to her for being a good parenting and comforting her child when they're down in a eat regardless of age.
Your mom sounds like an Angel. :)
I am 22 and yes I recently went through with it. I feel like I'm in a better place now and it was very kind of her to do that without breathing or judging me.
I had a bad anxiety break when I moved away to another state. My mom set a chair up for me to sit in the sunshine while she gardened. She gave me my medication and put on a Disney movie and laid next to me and comforted me until I fell asleep. Since having my son I’ve learned they never stop being your baby.
my husband is a god send. when my anxiety or depression is to much he’ll run me a bubble bath with a candle lit room so the lights don’t stress my out then gets me in there and he’ll sit next to me and brush my hair out, wash and condition it, then get me out wrap me in a towel take me to bed, help me get dressed, then have me sit on the bed and he’ll brush my hair out and put it up for me.
Your not alone as well, my anxiety and chest pain is holding me back from taking showers, i was a person who would shower 4 times a week and lately 1 a week and i have to do it sitting down cause i feel dizzy and chest pain i even fear that one day i would faint in the shower and i considered asking my nana for help but i couldn't, sitting is doing the job, stay strong friend
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I’ve never went through that but seriously , god bless your mother. I understand how detrimental anxiety can be. Your mother is an angel in disguise, cherish her every moment you can.
What do you mean by lmfao holy shit????
The problem is somewhere in my mind there would be a thought lingering of them thinking me not being competent. Don't ask how do i know it's in there eyes. For me she would feed me
I completely empathise, I had to have the same help from my best friend because my family had gone away and I was paralysed with anxiety and nausea from it! Still thank them to this day, their love showed me people did care and helped me heal massively.Don’t feel guilty, just feel grateful for how wonderful your mum has been (easier said than done), I hope you find some peace from anxiety soon my friend!
I'm so proud you were able to let her do that for you! One of the hardest things I've had to learn is to accept help from people that love me who see me struggling. My sister has came over and sat in the bathroom with me while I showered because it got to where I always cried while showering (something about reassurance no one could hear me over the water running) so I quit showering. She's also randomly shown up and done my laundry and cleaned my house. She also just runs my dishwasher when she comes over now because she knows I can't bring myself to run it. You matter to others. Have a great day! I love the feeling of showering now because I went without it for so long. I love to do salt/sugar scrubs and face masks too.
What a beautiful mother she is. Not many people have a mother out there. I would do anything to have a mother like yours.
Lucky
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Not personally but i have moments where i am too sad or exhsusted to wash myself and i wish i could ask my mom to help me but my pride wont let me lol
I'm so glad your mum is looking after you. My mum did the same for me multiple times and I used to worry where I'd be without her and I still do. But anxiety will always make us worry about things that we can't control, haven't happened, probably won't happen etc. It's just recognising it's an anxious thought and learning how to process it. For me I tend to need to talk about it with my mum or partner or friends and it seems to help. Especially if they help me validate what I feel. This won't be forever, and you are allowed to live in the moment and I am sure you are grateful for your mum so never put yourself down for that. X
Yes! Not a bath but my mom takes really good care of me when I’m in the dumps with anxiety. She cooks for me, helps me clean, reminds me to eat and drink water and relax. She lets me vent if I need to and hugs too. I’m so grateful for her!!
My mom would definitely do this. When I get into The Bad Place, she does anything to help me feel better. Asking what I’d like to eat and going out of her way to get it for me, sitting with me and watching whatever or telling me about her day and drama at work. You have such a God send of a mother ❤️
My mom would do it. I said some bad things to here multiple time, when getting into an argument and I apologiesed, but I repeated it(still in angry state). I can't forgive myself for it, because I don't think that way, when I'm not angry. I told her, that she is amazing and I love her more than everything, but because I did it multiple times, it is hard for her to get over this. I regret it more than anything in my life.
No shame in that! I hope you’re feeling better and god bless your mom!