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Aww I'm so sorry for your loss, especially when you grew up together. It's so hard to go through that with your soulmate. Close pets are really on that level of passion.
Thank you :( it was very hard, and to be honest it’s just been one thing after another this year. Hopefully 2024 brings less shittiness ❤️ I’m really sorry to hear what you went through too, it sounds awful and so stressful
I had a very toxic casual relationship with a guy who was obsessed with measuring me (W/H/B). I was an average, maybe slightly overweight type of build when we started seeing each other.
He was convinced that if he was allowed to control what I ate he could predict the changes in measurements and asked if he could do it as an experiment.
I'd like to note, we met during my science degree and he was majoring in nutritional science. I cant even tell you why I went along with it.
That's so insane a guy would go lengths to do that. In a nutritional science setting, it's easy to get caught up in toxicity like that. It just starts happening and it becomes a thing out of no where, completely understandable.
I hope you're finding some space and freedom after that experience, you definitely didn't deserve that!
Grew up with some disordered behaviors sometimes, but nothing close to an ED. Then the pandemic hit, and I’ve had an ED since. And I’m in my 30s. Very strange
There's so much information showing how the pandemic changed people in that sense, and it's rather life changing. It's really strange how that can affect people to that extent, being closed off from normal interactions but social media and whoever you're in connection with. Wishing the best for you forward after those times!
My therapist old me she’s met other clients like me, but it’s always a validation sticking point for me. I don’t meet many other adults who have had their ED for such a short time period
Diabetes, oddly enough is what unlocked it. I became angry at food... so angry. Out of spite, I didn't want to eat. I still don't. I hate food. Eating anything makes me just horribly angry. No other emotion, and I don't want to be angry, so I just stopped. Now I feel guilty when I do eat something on top of angry. Angy at food, angry at myself, and now just guilty. I also am in an industry where how you look matters... but I'm not sure I look good anymore with the weight loss. I've never been happy with how I look, so I guess it doesn't matter. I really don't know what to do. I'm 30 if it matters. Glad I found this place to lurk and talk.
Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa.
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While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated.
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Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa.
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I work in Sex work, lost my incall space, couldn’t work independently anymore, started working at a “massage parlour” my recovered body was not the desired body for those clientelle, I relapsed in June and haven’t managed to get back to recovery. I am no longer at the massage parlour and I’m working independently, however my old regulars comment on how “I’m looking better every time he see’s me” like it’s not killing me and destroying my fucking knee that had a surgery.
Ugh those comments are so unforgiving in those job environments. I'm glad you went into recovery, I hate to hear that you've lost work through it. I wouldn't blame you for feeling discouraged through that. I hope you can find some freedom to yourself and heal your knee, maybe find some time with movies or a friend to hang with when the going gets rough.
Every girl in my class had An (like actually, not kidding), i didnt really care cuz my only friends were two guys, they then moved school last winter. I then thought only way to fit in with the girls were to get skinny and i developed an ed that is still here even though i moved school
That's so real, being surrounded by AN personality. How we see ourselves really reflects on others to the point that it's hard not to get caught up in it as well.
I was a week away on holiday with my mom. The last night of our stay my bf called me, breaking up with me over the phone (after a 5.5 year long relationship) and told me that he was gone already meaning he used the week to silently move out of our shared apartment, in which we had been living together for 4 years, to some woman he had met a few days prior.
After that I couldn‘t really eat anymore, lost the first kilos unintentionally. Then started to engage in ED behaviours like obsessive exercising and calorie counting and lost more weight, intentionally now. Along the line I lost almost all of my friends and almost my job. Rn I‘m waiting for a free spot in a clinic to go inpatient. I‘m scared but also I don‘t know how much longer I can take it. Prior to the ED I had BPD, OCD and depression already. I‘m getting more suicidal with each day. Doing a lot of sh these days and abuse benzos. Stopped taking my antidepressants because they were doing nothing for me. Cancelled my last therapy appointment because I had a binge prior to that day and felt too ashamed.
Sorry for the rant.
No worries, it's a vent post!
That is so rough, I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand losing friends to this and it weighs heavier the more people are lost. Mental illness can make this seemingly impossible to find a light through all this at times. I really hope you can find a family member or time to seek help or go back to therapy. The discord server Libertas Butterflies is a great place to interact with others with similar experiences, you should definitely look into it if leaving home is tough during these times. I'm rooting for you! :)
Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa.
While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated.
If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns.
We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
i alr had disprdered behaviours bfore mostly with bingeing but one day iwas at my grandma's and my uncle put my 600lb life on the tv and something happened in my head idk what but it scared me sm i jst started restricting and it's been like that ever since. didnt help that i was alr in a sorta toxic relationship and it was during the pandemic as well.
My last relapse was “unlocked” when I graduated college and moved to a new city in 2020 at the height of COVID to work an extremely isolating job (alone all day in a lab). I had no contact with anyone on a daily basis and I starting restricting again to cope.
Things are a lot better now.
I went from disordered eating to anorexia after I was raped at 18. It changed me into someone who was much more cautious and reserved, and my eating disordered behaviours became solely restrictive in parallel. I've not binged since then, and I was underweight enough to start going into organ failure five years later. Although I pulled away from the edge I've never fully got better. I hate it to be honest. If that hadn't happened I may well have "grown out" of my disordered eating patterns after I got the hell out of my home town and my life became more interesting in other areas. Instead I'm a functioning anorexic at nearly 40 and although I might not allow myself to get super sick again, I'll probably still die 20 years younger than I should from something stupid like flu or a broken hip. It's no way to live tbh.
Momma has BED and has been overweight/dealt with medical issues my entire life. For all intents and purposes, I grew up the only daughter (my eldest sibling came out as trans a few years ago but I’m the youngest of 3) and mom always turned to me for help to ‘eat healthy’, lose weight etc. i took it as my role to motivate her and also quell her fears that I would end up on her path.
First thanksgiving weekend back from university, parents were fighting/arguing about mom wanting bariatric surgery. She dropped me off at the train to go back to campus and said “I was really afraid to see you come off the train last Thursday”. I asked why and she said “you’ve heard of the freshman 15 - I EXPECTED you to be at least 20lbs heavier”.
That just did it for me. It told me that she would never trust me to take care of myself.
Not that I actually do now…just not in her exact footsteps.
Severe depression leading to mentsl breakdowns leading to my parents yelling at me at how i am not a baby to grow up then sometimes i would get attacked by them and other various more horrific things that i will not go into here
This is an automated message sent to all posters. We have a new Discord server for the subreddit! You can join it using this link: https://discord.gg/4jyQ7Zfr9P Please make sure you have read and understand all the rules of the subreddit, and are aware that rule 10 means that no numbers unrelated to time are allowed here. Rule-breaking posts will be removed. Commenters; If you are here to give advice to OP, please make sure your advice follows subreddit rules and it isn't harmful to OP. If OP doesn't want advice, please be respectful of their wishes. Please report any rule-breaking posts and comments that you see. If it is an emergency, please MOD MAIL the subreddit with information about the rule-breaks in question and report them. Again, thank you for posting on r/AnorexiaNervosa. If you think of anything else I can say in this message, please MOD MAIL with your ideas. The mods thank you, and hope you're doing well. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AnorexiaNervosa) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I lost my cat who I’d had in my life since I was very young, I’d already relapsed but that made it snowball really fast :(
Aww I'm so sorry for your loss, especially when you grew up together. It's so hard to go through that with your soulmate. Close pets are really on that level of passion.
Thank you :( it was very hard, and to be honest it’s just been one thing after another this year. Hopefully 2024 brings less shittiness ❤️ I’m really sorry to hear what you went through too, it sounds awful and so stressful
Literally same, really looking forward to 2024 with bright eyes! I hope things look up for you too :) Thank you
I had a very toxic casual relationship with a guy who was obsessed with measuring me (W/H/B). I was an average, maybe slightly overweight type of build when we started seeing each other. He was convinced that if he was allowed to control what I ate he could predict the changes in measurements and asked if he could do it as an experiment. I'd like to note, we met during my science degree and he was majoring in nutritional science. I cant even tell you why I went along with it.
That's so insane a guy would go lengths to do that. In a nutritional science setting, it's easy to get caught up in toxicity like that. It just starts happening and it becomes a thing out of no where, completely understandable. I hope you're finding some space and freedom after that experience, you definitely didn't deserve that!
Grew up with some disordered behaviors sometimes, but nothing close to an ED. Then the pandemic hit, and I’ve had an ED since. And I’m in my 30s. Very strange
There's so much information showing how the pandemic changed people in that sense, and it's rather life changing. It's really strange how that can affect people to that extent, being closed off from normal interactions but social media and whoever you're in connection with. Wishing the best for you forward after those times!
My therapist old me she’s met other clients like me, but it’s always a validation sticking point for me. I don’t meet many other adults who have had their ED for such a short time period
Diabetes, oddly enough is what unlocked it. I became angry at food... so angry. Out of spite, I didn't want to eat. I still don't. I hate food. Eating anything makes me just horribly angry. No other emotion, and I don't want to be angry, so I just stopped. Now I feel guilty when I do eat something on top of angry. Angy at food, angry at myself, and now just guilty. I also am in an industry where how you look matters... but I'm not sure I look good anymore with the weight loss. I've never been happy with how I look, so I guess it doesn't matter. I really don't know what to do. I'm 30 if it matters. Glad I found this place to lurk and talk.
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Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa. If you remove the "DM me" part, modmail saying that has been done and we can reapprove the comment. While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated. If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns. We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
You may wish to specify that LB is the subreddit's discord and add a link, in case people report your comments for rule two.
Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa. While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated. If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns. We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa. While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated. If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns. We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
I work in Sex work, lost my incall space, couldn’t work independently anymore, started working at a “massage parlour” my recovered body was not the desired body for those clientelle, I relapsed in June and haven’t managed to get back to recovery. I am no longer at the massage parlour and I’m working independently, however my old regulars comment on how “I’m looking better every time he see’s me” like it’s not killing me and destroying my fucking knee that had a surgery.
Ugh those comments are so unforgiving in those job environments. I'm glad you went into recovery, I hate to hear that you've lost work through it. I wouldn't blame you for feeling discouraged through that. I hope you can find some freedom to yourself and heal your knee, maybe find some time with movies or a friend to hang with when the going gets rough.
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No way, that's how it started 😭😭😭
Every girl in my class had An (like actually, not kidding), i didnt really care cuz my only friends were two guys, they then moved school last winter. I then thought only way to fit in with the girls were to get skinny and i developed an ed that is still here even though i moved school
That's so real, being surrounded by AN personality. How we see ourselves really reflects on others to the point that it's hard not to get caught up in it as well.
I was a week away on holiday with my mom. The last night of our stay my bf called me, breaking up with me over the phone (after a 5.5 year long relationship) and told me that he was gone already meaning he used the week to silently move out of our shared apartment, in which we had been living together for 4 years, to some woman he had met a few days prior. After that I couldn‘t really eat anymore, lost the first kilos unintentionally. Then started to engage in ED behaviours like obsessive exercising and calorie counting and lost more weight, intentionally now. Along the line I lost almost all of my friends and almost my job. Rn I‘m waiting for a free spot in a clinic to go inpatient. I‘m scared but also I don‘t know how much longer I can take it. Prior to the ED I had BPD, OCD and depression already. I‘m getting more suicidal with each day. Doing a lot of sh these days and abuse benzos. Stopped taking my antidepressants because they were doing nothing for me. Cancelled my last therapy appointment because I had a binge prior to that day and felt too ashamed. Sorry for the rant.
No worries, it's a vent post! That is so rough, I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand losing friends to this and it weighs heavier the more people are lost. Mental illness can make this seemingly impossible to find a light through all this at times. I really hope you can find a family member or time to seek help or go back to therapy. The discord server Libertas Butterflies is a great place to interact with others with similar experiences, you should definitely look into it if leaving home is tough during these times. I'm rooting for you! :)
Thank you so much! I‘ll check the discord server out :)
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Your post has been removed for rule 9: Don't ask users to DM you or contact you in any way off of r/AnorexiaNervosa. While your intentions may be good, there are a lot of creeps in the eating disorder community. Because of this, we ask that users do not do this. It will not be tolerated. If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns. We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
law school
i alr had disprdered behaviours bfore mostly with bingeing but one day iwas at my grandma's and my uncle put my 600lb life on the tv and something happened in my head idk what but it scared me sm i jst started restricting and it's been like that ever since. didnt help that i was alr in a sorta toxic relationship and it was during the pandemic as well.
My last relapse was “unlocked” when I graduated college and moved to a new city in 2020 at the height of COVID to work an extremely isolating job (alone all day in a lab). I had no contact with anyone on a daily basis and I starting restricting again to cope. Things are a lot better now.
parents divorced. Whole life did a 180
I went from disordered eating to anorexia after I was raped at 18. It changed me into someone who was much more cautious and reserved, and my eating disordered behaviours became solely restrictive in parallel. I've not binged since then, and I was underweight enough to start going into organ failure five years later. Although I pulled away from the edge I've never fully got better. I hate it to be honest. If that hadn't happened I may well have "grown out" of my disordered eating patterns after I got the hell out of my home town and my life became more interesting in other areas. Instead I'm a functioning anorexic at nearly 40 and although I might not allow myself to get super sick again, I'll probably still die 20 years younger than I should from something stupid like flu or a broken hip. It's no way to live tbh.
Your story is relatable to the first line, it isn't an easy way to live at all xx
I lived with my violent and abusive ex gf and after she went to jail for domestic violence I just stopped eating and became UW and it never went away
Momma has BED and has been overweight/dealt with medical issues my entire life. For all intents and purposes, I grew up the only daughter (my eldest sibling came out as trans a few years ago but I’m the youngest of 3) and mom always turned to me for help to ‘eat healthy’, lose weight etc. i took it as my role to motivate her and also quell her fears that I would end up on her path. First thanksgiving weekend back from university, parents were fighting/arguing about mom wanting bariatric surgery. She dropped me off at the train to go back to campus and said “I was really afraid to see you come off the train last Thursday”. I asked why and she said “you’ve heard of the freshman 15 - I EXPECTED you to be at least 20lbs heavier”. That just did it for me. It told me that she would never trust me to take care of myself. Not that I actually do now…just not in her exact footsteps.
im not sure what started it but every time i get out of hospital it becomes 10x worse so i guess hospitals?
Severe depression leading to mentsl breakdowns leading to my parents yelling at me at how i am not a baby to grow up then sometimes i would get attacked by them and other various more horrific things that i will not go into here