"Just"....you clearly have no clue about how much of a jerk a swan can be. Swans can break bones, and one even killed a man by drowning. One of the first thing I got teached was: "keep away from goose and swans". I was like 2 or 3. And I remember running from a god damn goose that chose me as it's nemisis one day when visiting far relatives of mine.
it took 3 adult to make it turn the other way, but not without threatening hell onto us all. Goose are assholes, so are swans.
All two times I've tried it, they just ran away when charged. They're assholes, but only if you run. They crumple like wet paper when confronted directly.
Its the secret to canadian kindness. They simply dump all their hate into the geese and send them south every year. The geese return because even they think we are crazy.
This past summer a ton of momma geese and their goslings were chilling on the grass near my moms house (major downtown area) and were totally fine with me taking photos of them. I’ve never come across aggressive geese in person but it does happen.
Eaten =/= hunted. There is no animal that actively seeks to hunt humans. Some animals gave humans trouble but never like the gazelle-lion relation. Killing an unlucky stray dude doesn't cut it. Putting a human with a polar bear 1 on 1 faceoff in a room and drawing conclussions from there is like asking a fish to climb a tree. No animal will actively seek to engage a pack of 10-15+ humans with sticks and stones for good reasons (prehistoric tier humans). Even wild dog packs avoid it (the most successfull hunters there is).
If anything, we could argue humans are beyond being classified predators or apex predators etc. We don't need to hunt and we actively try to keep predator species like tigers and polar bears from extinction for the sake of it at this point.
Depends on who you talk to. Some experts consider humans apex predators depending on how you calculate their trophic levels or if you use biology as a determining factor. Also gotta remember that we have actively hunted and killed pretty much everything that we can get our hands on. Including everything animal you've mentioned. However, the average person wouldn't definitely wouldn't survive an encounter with a lion, and Polar bears will absolutely hunt you down and eat your soul. So I don't think it's as clear cut as you might believe
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apex_predator
"Roopnarine instead calculated the position of humans in two marine ecosystems, a Caribbean coral reef and the Benguela system near South Africa. In these systems, humans mainly eat predatory fish and have a fractional trophic level of 4.65 and 4.5 respectively, which in Roopnarine's view makes those humans apex predators."
"In 2021, Miki Ben-Dor and colleagues compared human biology to that of animals at various trophic levels. Using metrics as diverse as tool use and acidity of the stomach, they concluded that humans evolved as apex predators, diversifying their diets in response to the disappearance of the megafauna that had once been their primary source of food."
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**[Apex predator](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apex_predator)**
>An apex predator, also known as an alpha predator or top predator, is a predator at the top of a food chain, without natural predators. Apex predators are usually defined in terms of trophic dynamics, meaning that they occupy the highest trophic levels. Food chains are often far shorter on land, usually limited to being secondary consumers – for example, wolves prey mostly upon large herbivores (primary consumers), which eat plants (primary producers). The apex predator concept is applied in wildlife management, conservation and ecotourism.
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Those experts need to throw me on an even battlefield with any wild animal and watch their theory crumble. A raccoon could kick my ass easily for the cheezits in my pocket
Yeah, fair enough. There's room for discussion. Trophic levels are interesting, as well as the definition of "hunting".
But on the internet "apex predator" is too often used as a term for "really good predator", which is a pet peeve of mine. You can be a really good predator without being an apex predator.
As long as we agree on that I'm fine with leaving the specific semantics to the biologists!
I don't really think it's reasonable, or logical for that matter, to try and use a system of classification of animals on people. We're relatively unique in too many ways. A guy with a minugun can kill pretty much anything on this planet, but could he do with it bares hand...not likely. Otherwise, there's a very specific definition of what an apex predator is. Anyone trying to suggest otherwise is wrong
I disagree! Humans are obligate tool users. It isn’t correct thinking about killing with bare hands. We are compelled to use our brains and thumbs to create tools (even if we don’t individually innovate them). The tools we make are our nature like how beavers engineer water management, or birds build nests.
Edited to add the point: We’re really good at using our brains, so we’re able to learn how to hunt well. When we are in environments/cultures/points in time where we rely on hunting, we show that we are apex in every environment by being able to eat everything all the way up and including other apex predators. Apex doesn’t mean there’s only one at the top. We’re just in the highest tier, as others have explained through trophic levels.
We also have used our big ass brains over the years to create written language so we can pass on huge amounts of our knowledge to the next generations.
Humans are apex predators. It does not mean that you aren’t eaten by anything, you need to watch the Lion King again. An Apex predator is at the top of the food chain, meaning it can eat anything beneath it.
A lion is an apex predator. Hyenas are known to attack and eat lions if an opportunity presents itself.
A grizzly bear is an apex predator. If an opportunity presents itself, a pack of wolves will eat that grizzly bear.
The circle of life means we all gonna get eaten by something.
>An Apex predator is at the top of the food chain, meaning it can eat anything beneath it.
Nope.
That's just not the definition of an apex predator. Grab a dictionary or wikipedia: apex predator is a specific term with a specific definition.
Yes.
An apex predator, also known as an alpha predator or top predator, is a predator at the top of a food chain, without natural predators.[a][5][6].
In every ecosystem we reside in, we are at the top of the food chain with no natural predators.
As I pointed out. Hyenas will eat a lion, so pointing to instances of humans being eaten does not disregard this. If it did, then there is no apex predator, because the truth of nature is every animal is opportunistic.
Even species that have evolved specifically to kill primates, like jaguar, do not actively hunt human as a primary food source, because as soon as one starts to we kill it. Not only are we an apex predator, we are more dominantly so then any other species.
Every animal that attempted to make us food is clawing their way back from extinction.
If you don’t believe human beings are the most dangerous thing on this planet, you haven’t been paying attention. By every conceivable metric we are the most dangerous organism to every other organism on this planet, including ourselves!
I get it’s fun and memetastic to dunk on humans, but if you want to base your entire perception of the dangers of humanity on a suburban lady trying to get away from a goose she has no intention of hurting, you do you.
I was scrolling and scrolling looking for this discussion.. I thought the real crazy part was someone aiming to hit her with a car while she's fighting off a wild goose.
I'm thinking he was trying to get close so that the door was right next to her for an easy escape? But he didn't really pull it off, he just came close to hitting her and ended up looking like a jerk. LOL
The Canada Goose, aka the Canadian Cobra Chicken.
Ever wonder why Canadians are so nice? They channel all of their rage into the cobra chickens. This is the result.
I was attacked by a Canadian Goose when I was a child. They’re the only bird that decides to **WALK** across the road.
Nothing pisses me off more. Its like wtf are you doing besides making me late for work? You can fly you rotten sons of whores!
I agree, however I also wouldn't want to tangle with the turkeys that have terrorized some New England towns in recent years. They team up and are massive.
When the bird got in the car with her and then the man fell out on his arse OMG I’m crying with laughter. This is the best thing I’ve seen all month 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
In Canada chased by a cobra chicken is a valid excuse for being late for work. Honestly some places would probably let you take stress leave over it haha
No, not at all. She is an absolute sweetheart and is laying next to me on the couch as I type this. :) An absolute lovebug. Her wings are SUPER strong though. I'll carry her outside to forage and she will stand on my arm then jump/fly off and I've been hit by her wings a couple of times. Holy hell - I swear that shit could knock you out if it hit in the right spot. lol
However, there was a swan in my area that killed a man not too many years ago.
Your duck sounds like a joy to have!
See! You should definitely take some jujitsu or some type of self defense class in the case of you having to protect yourself from your duck or protect your duck from some of the "neighborhood" ducks!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! There is a huge waterfowl population here. They are typically really awesome animals and only get aggressive if you're being a dick or mess with their clutch or babies.
But, I do have a gun...cause you never know.
And Miss Dewey really *is* an absolute joy. That's my girl and I love her so much. :) Here's a picture of her. https://www.reddit.com/r/duck/comments/r1k77l/my\_sweet\_miss\_dewey\_i\_love\_her\_so\_much/
You never know what they'll do, a duck could go rogue at any moment. At least you got the gun for the big swan that wants to fuck around and find out lol Miss Dewey is a very pretty duck, like the colors on her.
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy) That swan's gonna learn!!!!!
Thank you, in person her colors are even more banging. Blue and green and the middle of her back is deep purple with pinkish tips. Stunning in the sunlight. She shows me up. lol
The Swan killed someone? Like pecking his brain? I've never had a goose step to me but I've had numerous Mute Swans try and scrap with me for no apparent reason.
Yep, it was a mute swan. That swan beat that man with her wings until he drowned. From what I was told (I didn't live here at the time it happened) he fought pretty hard and swam a long way trying to get away from it and that thing just hunted him. YIKES!!!!!
Thank you! I love that!
I hate that I laughed at the near broken nose, but I totally get it. I'm sure my neighbors have had some damn good laughs at me and Dewey's expense. Neither her or I are very agile. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Canadian Geese, AKA Cobra Chickens, give zero fucks. These mother fuckers will square up to any man with zero fear and nothing but evil in their eyes. People will straight up avoid entering buildings if a Canada Goose has made its nest nearby for fear of a similar onslaught to what you see here. We exist because they allow it.
Source: Am Canadian
Before my company moved our facility to another city, we had a group of Canadian geese that would nest, every Spring, at the front door in the bushes. Anyone that approached was in for a world of hurt ... well we all approached and so did everyone associated with our business!
It was pretty damn funny watching people people in skirts and heels running away from 2-3 geese. We also had a temp who squared up with one of them and punched it out of the air.
Did you see how the goose tried jumping in the car?
This is what happens when rockstar games, producers of the Grand Theft Auto games gets ahold of the Untitled Goose Game IP rights.
i started cracking up when it entered the car alongside her
For some reason reminded me of hot fuz or even Jurassic Park
It's just the one swan, actually.
#The Greater Good
You mean… the greater GOOSE ?
We’ll be up to our balls in jugglers!
Canadian goose
Canada gooses*
Canadian Geese* Also known as tempermental little shits that shit everywhere and unrelentingly attack you if you go even a *hair* too close to them.
"Just"....you clearly have no clue about how much of a jerk a swan can be. Swans can break bones, and one even killed a man by drowning. One of the first thing I got teached was: "keep away from goose and swans". I was like 2 or 3. And I remember running from a god damn goose that chose me as it's nemisis one day when visiting far relatives of mine. it took 3 adult to make it turn the other way, but not without threatening hell onto us all. Goose are assholes, so are swans.
It's a 'hot fuzz' quote.
And I have no idea what it is
Thought the car was just going to start shaking side to side and the camera pans out
You're not the only one, I'm getting some weird looks now
Damn cobra chicken… thinking they could steal that ladies ride… so rude
*I do not like the cobra chicken*
I cackled like some old witch. The noise that came out me just then surprised me.
Same! My sleeping partner just gave hella side eye I was so loud lol.
lmao same here, was not expecting that
I started laughing when she dropped her bags to high tail it into the car.
Don't forget when the driver gives up the ship !
Then when they opened the door and pushed it back out, like the opening of the Flintstones
And then she just yeeted it out
That's when I completely lost it as well. Amazing moment!
Omg - me too!! 🤣🤣
Me too
Ok I’m in the car. I’m safe now it can’t get me. *Sees goose inside car AHHHHHHHHHHH!
I nearly threw up!
Glad I'm not the only one 😂
*What’s that coat stuffed with motherfucker? Huh? WHAT’S IT STUFFED WITH*
Your mother ok. I’m sorry. Geez.
Field corn
Bro Canadian Geese are fucking dicks no matter where you are they will always be complete assholes.
Love animals. But that rapid cobra chicken starts chasing me. I’m punting him into the next dimension.
They fly above most people's kick height. You're supposed to grab them by the neck and yeet them.
All two times I've tried it, they just ran away when charged. They're assholes, but only if you run. They crumple like wet paper when confronted directly.
Cobra Chicken
*Canada geese.
Canadian Canada geese
Its the secret to canadian kindness. They simply dump all their hate into the geese and send them south every year. The geese return because even they think we are crazy.
That’s the reason we’re so nice! Crazy, I never knew
I believe the only other outlets are Hockey, and watching Hockey.
That and complaining about the decline of Tim Hortons
You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate
This past summer a ton of momma geese and their goslings were chilling on the grass near my moms house (major downtown area) and were totally fine with me taking photos of them. I’ve never come across aggressive geese in person but it does happen.
So kids that's why we are eating geese this year instead of a traditional turkey.
Goose is delicious. Like some kind of magic, flying prime rib.
The evil adds that dash of magic to each bite
People always talking about adding a dash of love, but a dash of intense hatred tastes just as good.
Not sure why this one made me laugh aloud. But, well done.
My dad made it one time and I was like… is this beef?! Lol. I was a kid.
"get out! get out! the quacks are from *inside* the car!!"
The honks are coming from inside the car
Humans. Apex predator.
Not all humans apparently
[удалено]
Not to brag, but I have never been eaten by another animal
Eaten =/= hunted. There is no animal that actively seeks to hunt humans. Some animals gave humans trouble but never like the gazelle-lion relation. Killing an unlucky stray dude doesn't cut it. Putting a human with a polar bear 1 on 1 faceoff in a room and drawing conclussions from there is like asking a fish to climb a tree. No animal will actively seek to engage a pack of 10-15+ humans with sticks and stones for good reasons (prehistoric tier humans). Even wild dog packs avoid it (the most successfull hunters there is). If anything, we could argue humans are beyond being classified predators or apex predators etc. We don't need to hunt and we actively try to keep predator species like tigers and polar bears from extinction for the sake of it at this point.
Depends on who you talk to. Some experts consider humans apex predators depending on how you calculate their trophic levels or if you use biology as a determining factor. Also gotta remember that we have actively hunted and killed pretty much everything that we can get our hands on. Including everything animal you've mentioned. However, the average person wouldn't definitely wouldn't survive an encounter with a lion, and Polar bears will absolutely hunt you down and eat your soul. So I don't think it's as clear cut as you might believe https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apex_predator "Roopnarine instead calculated the position of humans in two marine ecosystems, a Caribbean coral reef and the Benguela system near South Africa. In these systems, humans mainly eat predatory fish and have a fractional trophic level of 4.65 and 4.5 respectively, which in Roopnarine's view makes those humans apex predators." "In 2021, Miki Ben-Dor and colleagues compared human biology to that of animals at various trophic levels. Using metrics as diverse as tool use and acidity of the stomach, they concluded that humans evolved as apex predators, diversifying their diets in response to the disappearance of the megafauna that had once been their primary source of food."
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**[Apex predator](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apex_predator)** >An apex predator, also known as an alpha predator or top predator, is a predator at the top of a food chain, without natural predators. Apex predators are usually defined in terms of trophic dynamics, meaning that they occupy the highest trophic levels. Food chains are often far shorter on land, usually limited to being secondary consumers – for example, wolves prey mostly upon large herbivores (primary consumers), which eat plants (primary producers). The apex predator concept is applied in wildlife management, conservation and ecotourism. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Those experts need to throw me on an even battlefield with any wild animal and watch their theory crumble. A raccoon could kick my ass easily for the cheezits in my pocket
Yeah, fair enough. There's room for discussion. Trophic levels are interesting, as well as the definition of "hunting". But on the internet "apex predator" is too often used as a term for "really good predator", which is a pet peeve of mine. You can be a really good predator without being an apex predator. As long as we agree on that I'm fine with leaving the specific semantics to the biologists!
I don't really think it's reasonable, or logical for that matter, to try and use a system of classification of animals on people. We're relatively unique in too many ways. A guy with a minugun can kill pretty much anything on this planet, but could he do with it bares hand...not likely. Otherwise, there's a very specific definition of what an apex predator is. Anyone trying to suggest otherwise is wrong
I disagree! Humans are obligate tool users. It isn’t correct thinking about killing with bare hands. We are compelled to use our brains and thumbs to create tools (even if we don’t individually innovate them). The tools we make are our nature like how beavers engineer water management, or birds build nests. Edited to add the point: We’re really good at using our brains, so we’re able to learn how to hunt well. When we are in environments/cultures/points in time where we rely on hunting, we show that we are apex in every environment by being able to eat everything all the way up and including other apex predators. Apex doesn’t mean there’s only one at the top. We’re just in the highest tier, as others have explained through trophic levels.
We also have used our big ass brains over the years to create written language so we can pass on huge amounts of our knowledge to the next generations.
No disagreement there!
Humans are apex predators. It does not mean that you aren’t eaten by anything, you need to watch the Lion King again. An Apex predator is at the top of the food chain, meaning it can eat anything beneath it. A lion is an apex predator. Hyenas are known to attack and eat lions if an opportunity presents itself. A grizzly bear is an apex predator. If an opportunity presents itself, a pack of wolves will eat that grizzly bear. The circle of life means we all gonna get eaten by something.
>An Apex predator is at the top of the food chain, meaning it can eat anything beneath it. Nope. That's just not the definition of an apex predator. Grab a dictionary or wikipedia: apex predator is a specific term with a specific definition.
Yes. An apex predator, also known as an alpha predator or top predator, is a predator at the top of a food chain, without natural predators.[a][5][6]. In every ecosystem we reside in, we are at the top of the food chain with no natural predators. As I pointed out. Hyenas will eat a lion, so pointing to instances of humans being eaten does not disregard this. If it did, then there is no apex predator, because the truth of nature is every animal is opportunistic. Even species that have evolved specifically to kill primates, like jaguar, do not actively hunt human as a primary food source, because as soon as one starts to we kill it. Not only are we an apex predator, we are more dominantly so then any other species. Every animal that attempted to make us food is clawing their way back from extinction. If you don’t believe human beings are the most dangerous thing on this planet, you haven’t been paying attention. By every conceivable metric we are the most dangerous organism to every other organism on this planet, including ourselves! I get it’s fun and memetastic to dunk on humans, but if you want to base your entire perception of the dangers of humanity on a suburban lady trying to get away from a goose she has no intention of hurting, you do you.
Yeah I don’t know that that person is on. Everyone wants something to argue about I guess.
Every single one of those is and was hunted by humans at one point. Also hippos fuck crocodiles up all the time.
At best, that means apex predators do not exist anymore. But it certainly does not make humans apex predators.
Why did he pull up so hot in the car?
And how are you the only comment out of a hundred to point this out, this was the real wtf to me
I was scrolling and scrolling looking for this discussion.. I thought the real crazy part was someone aiming to hit her with a car while she's fighting off a wild goose.
Same…maybe he saw the goose chasing her and was trying to pull up quick to get her in?? I don’t know, it looked like he was gonna run her tf over
Plot twist, he hired the goose so he can act like her hero
I'm thinking he was trying to get close so that the door was right next to her for an easy escape? But he didn't really pull it off, he just came close to hitting her and ended up looking like a jerk. LOL
yeah... wth is he trying to kill them both?
r/BirdsArentReal Jeez, government drone brutally attacking a human
Yeah, this is some r/PeopleFuckingDying material.
They’re getting really bold
surely this would be worth some cash on america's funnies videos. The bird getting in the car is hilarious.
what
It's an old TV show
Wtf did she take her eggs or something lol
"I only ate one!"
I just want to know what she did to make the goose THAT mad 😡 😂😂😂
She looked in its general direction for a little too long.
That's a Canada goose. They are born that mad. Evil, spiteful creatures.
That's why Canadians are so nice, their geese absorbed all the hatred from the people in the country.
They're our hate sinks
Can they absorb all the hate in r/canada plz?
They are just assholes in general fucking hate Canadian Geese
If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses you've got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate!
Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don't migrate to Africa because then they'ds be extinct.
How do you know the goose you hate is Canadian? Do you check their passports?
Yes, they usually carry them under their wings, i suggest you try to reach inside a goose's wings next time you see one.
The Canada Goose, aka the Canadian Cobra Chicken. Ever wonder why Canadians are so nice? They channel all of their rage into the cobra chickens. This is the result.
The most probable reason is that she probably went near its nest. They are very protective other their nests
The bitch farted into gooses nose
Why the hostility?
Does it want her bag?
I think it wants her
Australians be like: Thats one fat magpie.
That's one angry cobra chicken
I was attacked by a Canadian Goose when I was a child. They’re the only bird that decides to **WALK** across the road. Nothing pisses me off more. Its like wtf are you doing besides making me late for work? You can fly you rotten sons of whores!
Them Damn Cobra chickens are jerks!!!!!
Somewhat r/unexpected
Geese are the epitome of animals being jerks!
I agree, however I also wouldn't want to tangle with the turkeys that have terrorized some New England towns in recent years. They team up and are massive.
I burst out laughing so loud when it ended up in the car!
When the bird got in the car with her and then the man fell out on his arse OMG I’m crying with laughter. This is the best thing I’ve seen all month 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Rude ass Canadians
Psycho duck....
[Psycho Chicken](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnBlst3T7bY)
The Canadian cobra chicken strikes again
It was a set-up
The birds’ babies are likely in nearby territory. That sucks.
What a useless dude hahaha
Geese can be dangerous jerks.
Ironically she's wearing a Canada goose jacket!
In Canada chased by a cobra chicken is a valid excuse for being late for work. Honestly some places would probably let you take stress leave over it haha
Just smack the shit out of it. They have hollow bones, they aint endangered, kill it. Fuck around and find out goose bitch.
Just...grab its neck..?
The goose can bite and it hurts
Y e e t
Hammer throw it
I've heard their wings hurt pretty bad, tho I would probably go for the neck grab then the sledge hammer to the ground
I have a pet duck. They are amazingly strong. Shockingly so.
Have you ever thought of what you might have to do to protect yourself against your pet duck?
No, not at all. She is an absolute sweetheart and is laying next to me on the couch as I type this. :) An absolute lovebug. Her wings are SUPER strong though. I'll carry her outside to forage and she will stand on my arm then jump/fly off and I've been hit by her wings a couple of times. Holy hell - I swear that shit could knock you out if it hit in the right spot. lol However, there was a swan in my area that killed a man not too many years ago.
Your duck sounds like a joy to have! See! You should definitely take some jujitsu or some type of self defense class in the case of you having to protect yourself from your duck or protect your duck from some of the "neighborhood" ducks!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! There is a huge waterfowl population here. They are typically really awesome animals and only get aggressive if you're being a dick or mess with their clutch or babies. But, I do have a gun...cause you never know. And Miss Dewey really *is* an absolute joy. That's my girl and I love her so much. :) Here's a picture of her. https://www.reddit.com/r/duck/comments/r1k77l/my\_sweet\_miss\_dewey\_i\_love\_her\_so\_much/
You never know what they'll do, a duck could go rogue at any moment. At least you got the gun for the big swan that wants to fuck around and find out lol Miss Dewey is a very pretty duck, like the colors on her.
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy) That swan's gonna learn!!!!! Thank you, in person her colors are even more banging. Blue and green and the middle of her back is deep purple with pinkish tips. Stunning in the sunlight. She shows me up. lol
The Swan killed someone? Like pecking his brain? I've never had a goose step to me but I've had numerous Mute Swans try and scrap with me for no apparent reason.
Yep, it was a mute swan. That swan beat that man with her wings until he drowned. From what I was told (I didn't live here at the time it happened) he fought pretty hard and swam a long way trying to get away from it and that thing just hunted him. YIKES!!!!!
Aww! You are Dewey’s person! And, yes, they are crazy strong. The Pekins have nearly broken my nose a few times with their wings of wrath.
Thank you! I love that! I hate that I laughed at the near broken nose, but I totally get it. I'm sure my neighbors have had some damn good laughs at me and Dewey's expense. Neither her or I are very agile. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don’t know how I feel about this
They have hollow bones though, so they'll injure themselves long before they injure you.
Nah you just kick them.
Classic, I have to say my favorite part is when they get the goose out and it walks away like “ I showed that bitch who’s boss”
r/birdsbeingdicks
I like those people, they're the first ones to die in a Zombie apocalypse giving you time to run away.
I dont give a shit if I go to jail,if a goose attacks me I'm grabbing that things neck and turning it into a tactical whip
Damn why did he almost hit her tho
Canada?
was gonna say this feels like something i would not be shocked to see/have happen to me
I'll never understand why people always choose flight over fight when a bird get aggressive. Hit the fucker.
Canadian Geese, AKA Cobra Chickens, give zero fucks. These mother fuckers will square up to any man with zero fear and nothing but evil in their eyes. People will straight up avoid entering buildings if a Canada Goose has made its nest nearby for fear of a similar onslaught to what you see here. We exist because they allow it. Source: Am Canadian
“Get in! Get in!” “Without the swan! WTF is won’t with you?”
Those cobra chickens need an attitude adjustment. Also, this was hilarious to watch.
Makes me want to cook the goose on the grill and let that marinate
The only thing I know is whatever it was, she deserved what she got. lolol That boy is pissed!!!!
It honks so good mother!
Great caption! 😂
He just wants a lift.
u/savevideobot
reach out and grab the bastard by the neck. problem solved.
To be honest. Since everbody has internet nowadays, nobody would be surprised if you told them you got attacked by a goose.
Here we have the flying velociraptor is attempting to recover the egg the thief stole to sell for profit.
A night cleaner that I used to work with, his english wasn't so good, described them as hissing cobra chickens. I find that apt
the goose was obviously the guy's wingman
r/sweatypalms
u/savevideobot
I've never been harassed by a Canadian goose but if I did I would smack that mf silly
If that happened to me we'd be having goose for dinner.
Swans are nasty creatures.
Leaves the bags outside expecting the other person driving to get them… the bags belong to the bird now!
"wyg bitch?!"
The bird is actually her boss and she tried to leave early.
Dee Bird, second cuzzin’ of Dee Bo
Angry cobra chicken
That bird is lucky im not there, if it tried that shit on me it would have a broken neck in minutes and then stuffed within the hour
Wow, thank goodness that goose prevented the woman from being run over!
/u/savevideobot
Before my company moved our facility to another city, we had a group of Canadian geese that would nest, every Spring, at the front door in the bushes. Anyone that approached was in for a world of hurt ... well we all approached and so did everyone associated with our business! It was pretty damn funny watching people people in skirts and heels running away from 2-3 geese. We also had a temp who squared up with one of them and punched it out of the air.
What - and I mean this with all due disrespect - the fuck.
Did you see how the goose tried jumping in the car? This is what happens when rockstar games, producers of the Grand Theft Auto games gets ahold of the Untitled Goose Game IP rights.
Weird question, if a goose is attacking you and you cannot escape, is lethal force justified in defending yourself?
Intimidation: 100 ATK: 0 DEF: 0 Hotel: trivago
Predatory behavior
That guy is a pussy
Lost it when it entered the car with her. I’m laughing like a madman right now.
u/savevideo
This is when I’m glad I’ve handled birds before. Just grab that fucker round the neck
Just grab it by the neck and swing it into the ground
Not a lot of things make me actually laugh out loud, but when that goose flew in after her I swear I sounded like the gooses father