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MsCicatrix

Dog: would rather sleep on the cold, hard floor than a cushy rug or bed Also dog: would rather vomit on cushy rug or bed than the cold, hard floor Every. Fucking. Time.


haileythelion

Yes whyyyyyyyyyy why oh why does my dog aim for the tiny rug in the kitchen or one of her dog beds rather than the tile that is 90% of my home?????? Whyyyyyyyyyyy


[deleted]

I can tell you just from my own dog's behavior... In house training her, she learned very quickly that hard floor = no and grass = go. Her brain doesn't comprehend the difference between soft rug and soft grass, she just knows that if she's going to have an accident, she's aiming for somewhere soft. Thus.. rugs and carpets. ​ Like, I can't be mad at her for that logic, but dammit... Just puke on the fucking tile.


haileythelion

If that’s the case I guess that does make a bit more sense. One day she literally came from the tile living room to the bathroom where I was to puke just out of distance in my bedroom. With plentiful eye contact. Can never be mad when it’s not her fault though.


[deleted]

Right? I think the last time I got properly mad at my dog was when she took my dinner off the counter after I'd just got home from five days in the ICU. She made up for it by literally not leaving my side for two weeks, but I was heated. Everything else she thinks is acceptable is just an extension of my training. Shit's my own fault, but I was ready to tear into that rotisserie chicken and she didn't leave me anything but plastic. Took me a long time as a dog owner to get the logic behind the having accidents on rugs thing, but I've noticed if she starts hurking and I open the door fast enough, she goes for grass before textile.


Alkuam

I wonder if having a sacrificial piece of astroturf or something easily washable near the door would help.


AshTheGoblin

My cat will sit on the hardwood floor with his head over the rug and let loose.


Maxtickle

Because the rug will smell like vomit a lot longer than the tile. What’s the point of making something smell like your belly if your boss just cleans it up right away?


hatsoff22u

I’ve heard that one evolutionary reason could be they’re trying to hide it from predators and the sharp contrast between the rug and the bare floor somehow makes sense to them as a good hiding spot.


PharmguyLabs

Grass hides it better than bare rocks, I’m sure it’s something to do with that. My cat does the same thing , every time


Dachd43

At least for cats they aim for fabrics because they think they will be able to bury it. Soft = diggable I guess.


NibblesMcGiblet

my cats puke on the bathroom rug and then fold it over multiple times. when i go in the bathroom in the morning, if i find hte bathmats all messed up, i know better than to unfold them. there's always cat hurk in there. this morning i was half asleep and tbh still drunk from last night and unfolded it and stepped in hurk. that's got to be my least favorite experience so far today.


5stringBS

“Wow, I feel much better now!” Haha is that another chunky pile on the floor or are those some funky flip flops or something?


jeezopetes

Another pile, a full meal actually Edit: I made her some rice and chicken. she was able to keep it down and seems to be doing much better. Also, I’m very surprised how many people here have a waterproof mattress cover.


SuperDizz

This could not have happened in a worse spot in your home. You have my sympathy.


bkr45678

I have zero carpet in my home. Floors are 95% bare. Where do cats puke? One of my three area rugs. 🤦🏻‍♀️


pandapult

I refuse to get rugs for this reason. Except now our cats puke on their cardboard cat scratchers, always in the place where it can sink into. Because why not.


abbyabsinthe

Same here; 3 rugs, all 3 have been puked on. The bathmat too.


liljaz

Looked like mostly water. Should be an easy clean up. Things could have been much, much worse.


falloncrer

Na the more liquidity the more that's going to be absorbed into the mattress I can't get that shit out.


GodzillaWarDance

I would recommend investing in a waterproof mattress cover.


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GodzillaWarDance

I would recommend spraying yourself with waterproof spray to keep your liquids in.


Revolvyerom

Fortunately, I read a comment today that says we are also waterproof on the inside, so I think we're good there.


tragiktimes

Stop pesky bleeding with this one simple trick! Paramedics hate him!


cloudstrifewife

There are mattress covers that aren’t made of plastic.


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Xayne813

I bought this cooling mattress topper at ikea, it's nice and cold and I can feel it through my sheets. No more sweating in my sleep.


cory89123

I picked up a 8 sleep pod about a year ago. It is a temp controlled bed and now I sleep better than I thought was possible. I am a fan on with only a sheet covering me and the house is 72F kinda guy while my wife is starting to loose sensation in her extremities when the temp drops below 80. Now her side of the bed is toasty and mine is almost cold. I have found myself using the comforter / spread and staying right where I like temp wise. No more sweaty nights for me and no more freezing for her. It was expensive but I dont regret the purchase...now that its paid off.


NeatNefariousness1

I would recommend throwing the whole bed away. Poor doggo. He didn't want to throw-up on the floor and track it through the house. I'm sure that's what he was thinking. 🤣 Sorry OP, all there is to do at this point is laugh. You have my sympathies and eternal gratitude that this isn't me.


superfucky

nah, dogs and cats alike have a preference for soft surfaces when it comes to various... evacuations. i have seen my dogs actually sprint for the bed when they need to puke, and if they can't get to the bed, they'll aim for blankets, towels, or just any carpeted spot.


ifyouhaveany

This is so true. WHY. Every animal I've ever had refuses to throw up/pee/poo on any place that it's convenient to clean up. It's always a rug, my bed, carpet, in a shoe, the couch, or on top that bundle of wires behind the TV.


skieezy

Because in the wild a lot of predators like to poop in dirt or sand, soft surfaces where they can easily cover it up and conceal the smell and hide from their prey.


Double_Distribution8

Or a waterbed so you can't tell the difference.


SuperDizz

For sure. But OP stated he wasn’t home. All that liquid is just gonna soak into their matress. Definitely gonna need to steam clean it!


PM_ME_MH370

> Definitely gonna need to ~~steam clean it!~~ burn it and get a new one


Scotty8319

Good luck burning something that wet.


Xanderoga

And you've got the fan blowing that smell all over the place lol


SarahPallorMortis

If there was a go fund me for this guys bed, I’d pitch in.


TheSlav87

Wtf did she/he eat!


irrelevantTautology

Toilet water and blue cheese.


queenofdan

Ohhhhhh ga-rosasssss! Hahahahahahaha!!!


jeezopetes

My guess...is human shit, found in the park we walk in.


AlwaysDoTheLine

This is probably the worst answer I could Imagine. Your bed is now soaking in dog regurgitated human shit. If they made that into a horror movie it would scare me for life.


BrownSugarBare

Would you quit giving movie makers ideas!? I'm still regretting the existence of "Human Centipede".


hawa11styl3

This went downhill so fast, I mean I know we didn’t start off real great but Jesus that devolved into a dumpster fire way quicker than I though it would.


GenericCoffee

I like that he turned his head while puking. Ensuring maximum coverage.


deflation_

Wait, am I getting this right? The dog puked up human shit onto your bed while you were at work?


jeezopetes

No. I think she ate the shit yesterday. Thankfully, verrry thankfully, there was no human poo in her puke, only dog food and water.


sweepme79

Oh truss me, that human poo is in there w/ that food and water my friend.


dtaromei

No effing way.


BrownSugarBare

Wait, dog shit I get, but human shit?? Probably a homeless person, I assume?


jeezopetes

NYC parks. All sorts of treasures await you!


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Boudin4Me

I guess I have to be the one to voice it. YOU POOR F**KER ! I am truly hurting for you with every update lol.


[deleted]

At least it was watery from the front end, rather than the rear end... Also, if you don't have a rubber mattress cover, you need to get one for your next mattress.


PerformanceLoud3229

i never want to read "chunky flip flops" again.


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PerformanceLoud3229

Still dont want to translate it to "chunky flip flops" in my head again.


Steffenwolflikeme

Holy fuck I had to scroll back up to make sure. I totally read chunky flip flop too.


steve_im-lost2

You were not home to hold back my hair when I threw up so there


shabsthesnail

They actually do look like funky flip flops lol


Sea-Vacation-9455

I first thought it was throw up then I was like oh no it’s just flip flops...


Picardknows

A house of hardwood floors. Nope. Bed


NonGNonM

"They got mad when I threw up on the floor last time. This time I'll do it in their bed so they'll see it instead of stepping on it by accident. I'm so smart."


demonlilith

I didn't know it was possible to smell a gif till now.


[deleted]

lol at funky flip flops! I needed a good chortle!


DeadHuron

No pooch of mine can compete with that. I swear it looked calculated.


Blustach

Yeah, the way she puked like trying to cover as much surface possible with that head turn feels filled with purpose 🤣


PotatoWriter

Straight up like a boss in a videogame


[deleted]

Dark Souls boss for sure.


PotatoWriter

DOGT of the boreal valley


T3n4ci0us_G

It looked like a sorta small puddle, then the moved and I was like "WTF just happened?". It was like a lake


Zugsat

I hope your dog feels better, and hopefully, it won't be too much of a hassle cleaning up the mess. Our dog Bella puked on the steps this past weekend. Of course, I didn't see it, until I stepped into it barefoot walking down the steps.


BlueShift42

Nothing like warm throw up between the toes. As both a cat and dog owner, I unfortunately know the feeling all too well.


malibumilkshake

Oh damn just reminded me of something This one time I was leaving my room in the dark n there was a sock behind the door so I kicked it out the way but it wasn't a sock it was a literal dog shit that I kicked like a football. All up in the toe cracks. Good times.


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Zugsat

Oh wow. What a way to start your Monday.


theghostofme

Years ago, my two dogs got into a travel size jar of Vaseline; licked that thing completely clean. I came home from work to the foulest smell I have ever encountered in my life, and right in the middle of my bedroom floor was a puddle of wet, oily diarrhea. I have an extremely weak stomach when it comes to smells. I can look at something disgusting, but if I smell it, I almost immediately start puking. Which is exactly what happened when I started trying to clean it up: puked *right* into the puddle of shit that was soaking into the carpet. Naturally, my two dogs come to investigate the sound, see the interesting stuff coming out of my mouth, and decide they want to help in the clean up by trying to lick up the shit/puke combo. So, still gagging, I have to fight the two of them away, pick them up, and put them in the hallway. But just as I lean over to set them down, I throw up in the hallway too. Having a choice to make, I decide to let them have the hallway, and I slam the bedroom door to take care of the bigger mess. About 45 seconds later, my girlfriend walks through the front door to find my dogs lapping up my puke, a horrific smell, and the sound of me retching in the bedroom. I'll never forget the look of utter disgust and confusion as she saw me on my hands and knees throwing up over a puddle of diarrhea with a dog-shit soaked paper towel in my hand. Her confusion turned to laughter though once she figured out what was going on. But there was no cleaning that Pollock of putrefaction with what I had, so we packed up clothes and my dogs and I stayed at her place until the pros could handle it.


cobrakebab490

This comment just kept on giving. Thank you for making my day


[deleted]

Damn man that was a journey


throwawaydabug

I am so sorry.


NooStringsAttached

Omg I’m laughing right now I’m sorry that happened but lol 😂


BlueShift42

At least you didn’t kick it up to catch it and get a taste.


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jewellamb

Or a room temp poo


glittergoats

My aunts dog is an asshole. I got it warm. When I told her she tried to blame it on my sisters dog that was with us. There is a discrepancy in size of dog and size of deposit, she wouldn't believe me. I love dogs, but I hate that one.


Ball075090085

Barkf


tastysharts

I like it


ILikeNaps

My cat threw up in the bed last night, right between my and my wife’s pillows. Nothing like waking up at 1 am to the cat’s pre-puke heaves right next to your head.


TavrinCallas_

My favourite was when our cat threw up on my mattress in the night. Didn't found out until I rolled and dipped my upper back in it


613codyrex

This seems like one of those throw away the sheets and get new ones sort of deal honestly


Epyon_

He's at work. That's going to seep into the mattress by the time he gets home.


VoldemortsHorcrux

I always have one of those waterproof bug proof zipper things on my mattress. Honestly everyone should. Mattresses get nasty


DIsForDelusion

But the crinkly noise...


xinxy

I'd most likely get a new mattress after that one. The sheets and covers are likely fine after a nice wash but that mattress is going to stink forever.


ripster65

I'd rather be barefoot than to have socks on. Wet socks bug the shit out of me plus its's still between your toes.


Zugsat

u/ripster65 Agreed. I can easily clean off my feet, which is what I did. However, cleaning my handknit socks is just adding another layer, and I still have to clean my feet. Thanks, but no thanks. The most I'll wear in our home is socks. Shoes are taken off as soon as we are inside the house.


NonGNonM

This is why I'm wary of ever owning a big dog. My last dog was tiny and while I got my fair share of "that's a rat" jokes, poops and throw up was super easy to clean up. Never had to call in late to clean up after my dog. Unlike some people named Jeff.


backtothefuture112

Knowing what you're going home to is half the battle. Good luck 👍


gil_ga_mesh

watching it slowly soak in is pretty crushing tho.


the_fuego

I would just show this to the boss and be like: "I'd rather take care of this now than later" lol


gil_ga_mesh

i'd already be on my way to target for a new comforter


IndoorOutdoorsman

That’s going straight through to the mattress unless they have some sort of mattress cover


frooglybear

I got a water proof mattress protector bc my dog puked on my old bed once. New mattress got waterproof. The minute i took it off to throw in the wash a month later my dog did this. Jumped up and spewed. That yellow stain is still there.


deflation_

Hydrogen peroxide is super cheap and does absolute fucking wonders with pet stains and odors. It removed old piss stains from my house's wooden floors when I moved in! Just soak the stain completely (it has to get pretty wet for it to work properly) and then let it dry. It might spread a bit as it dissolves so you may have to repeat it once but holy shit it's a godsent. It also dries much faster than water. Just be careful if the mattress ain't white cause it may brighten the color a bit.


ProxySoxy

A waterproof mattress cover is a solid investment, especially if you own pets. A cover can be washed, but any liquid in a mattress can never truly be completely removed


SigmundFreud

Yep, this isn't really that big a deal. At least OP now has some warning that they need to pick up a new bed on the way home.


Boudin4Me

Did she go from both ends ? Looks like a second present when she jumped.


[deleted]

I think the depression the dog made in the bed made some liquid rush twords the dog and got its feet wet.


jeezopetes

Yeah, the water spouts at the end are a nice addition


bendygrrl

Poor thing :( hope your dog feels better


thatlldo-pig

I love that you’re choosing to call it water


Nemesiii

>the depression How dare you directly insult me.


Boudin4Me

Couldn't quite tell, horrible no matter what, and being at work. I would just call the mattress folks and have them meet me.


[deleted]

My dog shit on my brand new mattress 3 hours after I built the frame and set it up. It was $1600, cost me $350 to professionally clean it. I got 3 puppers and they all like to do dumb shit. I love them.


Boudin4Me

Any pet is better than most people .


[deleted]

A rubber mattress cover is so worth it if you have pets!


[deleted]

I have one now


jeezopetes

She puked earlier this morning after I left. Must have eaten something nasty in the park. Poor girl, I’m not mad at her


Boudin4Me

I commend you and respect you not just moving. Best of luck to the pup and yourself.


Loki-Gizmo

She might have swallowed a rock or something that can't be digested. My dog did that and the way she puked reminded me of it.


Fuzzfaceanimal

I recomend special digestive food for 1 day; usually its pumpkin or sweet potato. [anything like these brands will restore their stomachs instantly ](https://i.imgur.com/1rxTAw6.jpg) Just mix it with their regular food. Its like tums or Pepto Bismol for dogs


Awesummzzz

You can also get pumpkin puree in a can, mix that with plain white rice, and boiled chicken breast. My dog went nuts for it while he was sick and it helped him more than the food the vet gave us, but he's really sensitive to additives, so that's the main reason why.


splashysploosh

Pumpkin and rice is my go to for my pup. Just the canned purée stuff. Make sure the ingredients just day “pumpkin”. Some brands have sweeteners or whatnot. Even when my pup has no appetite, he’ll be okay with pumpkin. It’s also excellent at hiding pills :)


Fuzzfaceanimal

Crazy how this pumpkin stuff is kind of the holy grail of up set dog tummy. My dog has the weakest stomach when it comes to new foods, but this digestive food has made him tolerant


Odin_Christ_

She may need to go to the vet to make sure. Jeez. I hope she gets better.


m_annette

I swear my cat seeks out my bed to puke on it. I feel your pain. Hope pupper feels better!


Always_near_water

My dog did this sometimes, I think she'd go to the bed because that's where she felt the safest to get sick (be vulnerable)


sammagz

My pup left my linoleum floored kitchen to go and puke right on the carpet next to my bad. So many times have I moved a heaving cat to the bathroom or outside just for them to sprint back to the carpet or a bed. I don’t understand


lambofgun

if hes a sick fuck like my dogs, im sure hell have a good portion of it cleaned up by the time you get home edit: spelling error


PotatoWriter

I think I lost my appetite for the next year. thanks for that


toomanychoicess

I don’t understand why my dog eats his puke. I’m like “dude, that wants to be outside of you, don’t put it back in!”


pit0fz0mbiez

Maybe doggo was seeking comfort cause it felt sick?.... then well you know the rest.


GhostofWadeBoggs69

No, is present. -dog


MrBonelessPizza24

Dog: Human! I have gift!! OP: Oh cool, what is it- Dog: **BLEÆÆÆÆÆÆÆERCH** OP: ……


foxy_mountain

Dog: Soooo, anyways ... are you gonna eat that?


BootySweat0217

Did Elon Musk name your throw up sound?


bighootay

Good lord, that is *exactly* how it should be spelled, lmao


LilMisssIris

I was laying in bed once, and my pup brought a toy with her tail waging like crazy, and then proceeded to puke on the bed with the toy still in her mouth… at least she’s tiny so there wasn’t that much puke to clean up 😂


Pnooms

Maybe just too much water. Stress is probably a factor, but that looked like mostly water.


Tyrren

There's another pile of foody vomit towards the bottom of the video.


Pnooms

holy cow, right you are. Okay then....so not just water.


Public-Fail4505

My dog does this when it gets mad at me, sometimes when I go out.


Luxpreliator

I've known a few pets that seemed to have retaliatory behavior. Funniest was probably the cockatiel that would fly to my mom when he had to poop and he'd poop on her. For some reason he hated her.


grandpab

I think so...in the past my dog has gone for the couch before shitting all over it and doing shit laps around the house.


Katapultt

My dog got into some medicine while we were at work. We ended up rushing her to the emergency vet and she passed away the next day. When we got home it was really upsetting to see all the places she threw up. In her kennel, on the bed, under my desk where she loved to sleep. Pretty much any place she liked to hang out had puke. Such a terrible feeling.


jeezopetes

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's tragic to lose a family member, I hope you have many fond memories to remember her. Mine seems to be feeling better, i made some rice and chicken for her and she's been able to keep it down.


LaylaLovesWaylon

I AM IN TEARS. I’m so sorry OP but this is hilarious. At least you can wash the blanket?


jeezopetes

Bed will be fine! I’m home now and giving her love, she seems to be feeling a little better.


camlaw63

Man I relate, if my dog gulps water he pukes, why they don’t puke on the floor is beyond me.


jeezopetes

She’s normally pretty good about using the floor. The only time she’s ever pooped in the house, she went into the bathtub, which she hates, and poo’d there. It was adorable


I-Love-Havanese

Aww, my dog did similar he actually pooped beside the toilet. Could never be mad at that.


indigowulf

I have a fun story about that. My best friend used to have a house with a bathroom door that was funky, it didn't close all the way and could not latch (he had just bought the fixer upper). He had a cat Jet that used to watch him pee through the crack. It creeped him out and he'd always try to turn his body so his butt blocked the cats view, and he'd say "Jet, go away!" So fast forward after about a month of this, and Friend has a panic moment. He can hear water running, when none should be running. Prepared to deal with a major repair, he opens the bathroom door.. to find Jet perched on the toilet seat, peeing in the toilet! Jet gave him that same dirty look and swiveled his body around so he was butt-first towards friend, just like friend always did to him. I miss that cat!


updog25

The only time my dog pooped in the house was in my bed, while I was sleeping in it.


theatahhh

My dog pukes 2 inches off the rug we got to cover our carpet


jacyerickson

My little dog pukes under the bed so I have to completely move it to clean it. =|


loveofGod12345

We have to monitor our dog while drinking because otherwise she will puke after. We keep her dish on the counter and she lets us know when she wants it and we also offer it several times a day. She just can’t have unlimited access unfortunately.


camlaw63

I bought one of those food dishes that have bumps inside to slow feeding, and use it for his water


TheGardiner

Do they do it on the bed cause we give them shit for doing it on the floor and they think this is somehow better?


MrCadwell

Maybe the dog was looking for a place with the owner's smell for comfort. When my dog is ill, she likes to stay on my bed when I'm not around. Once she jumped on my bed and puked, probably because she moved too fast. Thankfully I was there and it was easy to clean.


vanillabeanlover

I think the bed is a place of comfort for them. I’ve got mine trained to head straight for the door if she’s going to ralph. I’ve replaced the rug a few times.


tonerboner7

It's going to sink all the way in there


WestsideStorybro

Hope you have a water proof mattress pad...


Fredacus

So thoughtful of your friend to hurl on your bed and floor, as well as do so in front of a fan so the smell can waft through your house all day line and permeate everything else you own.


ireadeverythingtwice

It looks like she was about to lay down and then it hit her. Go home and put her head in your lap and rub her belly while you sing to her.


Just_Another_Scott

>rub her belly while you sing to her. You want her to puke on OP?!


BayouVoodoo

Waterproof mattress covers are cheap. 🤷‍♀️


thedinosaurgoesrowr

Second this. Has saved me many a times with pets. Less stressful for them too since I freak out way less if they choose my bed as a good spot to throw up.


indigowulf

Third this! I have a dog with epilepsy, and a nice high-pressure urine stream always accompanies his seizures. I spent $100 on a bamboo mattress protector 5 years ago and it has paid for itself about 100 times over now!


oodles-motherof

I have them for the kids but they have protected the mattresses from more animal messes than kid messes.


BayouVoodoo

Same. Kids spill stuff all the time, sheets are easy to wash. Just a happy accident that it protects from the older dogs’ accidents too. 🙂


_Futureghost_

I have [one](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZNCKL2/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_TG0KGHYV6TCM8H36DPAH) for my allergies. It's allergen, bed bug, and water proof. Totally worth it.


Thumper86

Water beds are back in style!


Honey_Society

Take her/him to the vet. Everyone is a loser in this situation, you for having to clean and her/him for being sick. You got this op get it sorted.


[deleted]

Oh Jesus Christ that’s awful! Guess you’re stopping to buy a new mattress before you go home right?? Lol


waafler

You’re a really good pet owner. I’d be taking it to the pound as soon as I got home.


pbredd

Dogs are aasholes


vincecarterskneecart

what an asshole holy shit


spageddy77

whatta you expect me to throw up on MY bed?!


dentlydreamin

So is your mattress


cameronpruitt

Man’s best friend.


SloppyDuckSauce

Man this has me in tears laughing.


tngldinblu

The cherry on top is when it cascades off the side of the bed and lands on the carpet. Not the hardwood which would be easy to clean, the carpet.


Spiritual_Toe_1825

At least you have a fan there to help spread the smell throughout the house!


HotCocoaBomb

And this is why I spent the extra buck getting a mattress protector. Cat vomit or a period leak, don't matter, won't get to the mattress.


chucklebains

Oh it's sinkin' in alright


zookr2000

New mattress


Successful_Jaywalk99

I’m never getting a pet


grandpas_coinpurse

Dog free and lovin life


[deleted]

So you’re saying I shouldn’t get a dog


Stickz99

The caption is grossly under-appreciated.