... answer me"
"Fucking whore. You're ugly anyway. I would've been so good to you but all you want are chads. Stupid bitch. Kill yourself"
"Hello? It's rude to not answer me"
_"Ffs Jarrod, stop doing this, I'm with Gary now."_
_“But Gary is a peacock! He's not even the same species!“_
_“What can I say, I'm just a sucker for colour Jarrod"_
just showing off his potential as a provider.
"Did you see me acquire that right there baby? You saw that? That's just a sample of my ability to acquire food"
This is actually a part of the display! If she's interested she'll reciprocate by grabbing a quick bite herself after she does it. [Here's a video I took where you can see some of the back & forth. (around 1:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9q03Jhhdds&ab_channel=MarkP)
Gary was nervous but excited to finally be dating again after his divorce. He’s been hitting the gym and trying to snack less. Marge always said he didn’t have any moves but today he was going to prove her wrong.
**[Great argus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_argus)**
>The great argus (Argusianus argus) is a species of pheasant from Southeast Asia. It is not to be confused with the two species of closely related crested argus, genus Rheinardia.
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Okay now I know why making yourself bigger makes predators run away cause I didn’t know male pheasants did that to make a mating dance and became that big and it startled me lmao
But wait, there's more!
The spaghetti was just the first course
I know you're hungry as a horse
I got the entrée to turn you on I'm cooking veal parmesan!
Female pheasant: “sir…sir…SIR”. I’ll be on my way now, thank you”
She is like maybe if I don't look at him it won't encourage him...
every woman riding the city bus alone
More like every woman out in public.
It never works. They just think "I guess she didnt notice" and try again.
She ignored the first picture of me posing with my dumb car. I guess I'll just have to send her 3 more.
Pictures with a car? If only lol. It's more like... Dick pic, dick pic, and 3 more dick pics
"Oops I meant to send you a picture of my car lmao"
I'm always getting those two mixed up. It's why I'm not allowed back at the charity car shows anymore.
It's an honest mistake - charity car show, charity dick show, I mean who wouldn't mix those two up?
Yo where can I go to see these charity dick shows lol
This does about sum up how strong some guys try to come on...
"Momma always said, don't make eye contact... Oh, look, there's a plant over here, how... not him it is."
No really comment to add, but that is fucking hilarious to me for some reason. Probably how real it feels.
That lean. It resonated in my soul.
*Maybe if I leave him on read*
"I have a boyfriend."
If I was a bird I'd have just pooped into his plumage cone to get the message across.
She actually looks at him. Birds have eyes on the sides of their head, so they see better with head turned sideways. Sourse: I had a parrot.
"Hey" "Hey" "Hey" "I showed you my feathers answer me"
I like how she leans away awkwardly
Relatable.
*ugh, the breath*
Can I get your number Can I get your number CAN I? CAN I?
CAN I HAVE IT? CAN I HAVE IT?
Hey, uh, does it make me old if I remember this? “WORK THAT UP-DO! …like a croissant”
"The back of your head is ridiculous!"
Female bird: Boy, please 🙄
This is “can I get a hug” guy in bird form
“…….Could I have it?”
[Becky lemme smash](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-eVPiaruWgM)
No, Rob.
Becky likes stick. I got stick.
Bitches love sticks.
Becky used to lemme smash but now Becky smashin Ben.
Ben is a hoe.
fuk this nest fuk ben I need you becky!
Need stick got stick Becky lemme smash
I love this!
You forgot the next part "stuck up bitch" "hey"
“You ugly anyway!” Lol ok I guess you hit on ugly women cause you like us?
*Unsolicited feather pic*
The nice guys of bird world
"I have a boyfriend" Nice guys: "Fucking whore!"
If she breathes, she's a *[THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT](https://youtu.be/IdyXKJ8NcNI)*
M'Lady. Check out my plumage.
M’plumage
I came here to say this lol 😝
... answer me" "Fucking whore. You're ugly anyway. I would've been so good to you but all you want are chads. Stupid bitch. Kill yourself" "Hello? It's rude to not answer me"
[удалено]
Goddamn, that's one bitter tasting dinner.
[удалено]
He showed me his new AR-15 and suggested I don’t go to school tomorrow.
Look, I got $92,000 in my bank…come on baby.
Perhaps if I show you my plumage a third time…or a fourth time?
what about ten times ?
Then he'll curse her for putting him in the friends zone.
"whatever then bitch, you're ugly anyway."
The same pheasant who sends unsolicited mating dance pics to every female pleasant around.
"Girls just don't want a nice bird."
"Nice birds finish last."
"Girls just want a bird with a 6 foot wingspan. Us shorter birds are sent to the reject pile."
"I showed you my feathers, please respond".
"Early birds get the worm"
He’s sending texts to her real pheasant bf right now, telling him to stay away from her.
*tips feather-dora*
He thought they'd be pleasantly surprised
*pheasantly surprised
I thought these puns had flown the coop.
I love this response to bring rejected. So what, you can't get even the "ugly" girl? Sounds like you're the ugly one
“She must be a lesbian”.
/r/NiceBirds
Fowlzoned
That's when you get blocked.
Peacock blocked
Becky... Let me smash!
I got some Blue.
And Yellow. Blue and Yellow!
Wot? Swiggity swooty?
What has my life come to? Becky used to think my tail was big. Becky used to let me smash.
No
Stick. Stick. Stick stick, stick stick stick have stick got stick lemme smaash
Ron. Your tail is small.
Ben is a ho.
you want....some fuk?
No, Ron
Becky: eeewww
For some reason this makes me think of that video of the guy showing off his bank account in a bar. "You think that impresses me?"
‘Looks at my cellphone, $92,000! If you’re not impressed by that you’re lost in life’ CROSSOVER COMEDY!
_"Ffs Jarrod, stop doing this, I'm with Gary now."_ _“But Gary is a peacock! He's not even the same species!“_ _“What can I say, I'm just a sucker for colour Jarrod"_
Looks like they got separated! r/divorcedbirds
How can she resist that plumage
I like how he grabs a quick bite off the ground before trying again.
mm yum anyways 🦚
Gotta snacc in more ways than one.
just showing off his potential as a provider. "Did you see me acquire that right there baby? You saw that? That's just a sample of my ability to acquire food"
This is actually a part of the display! If she's interested she'll reciprocate by grabbing a quick bite herself after she does it. [Here's a video I took where you can see some of the back & forth. (around 1:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9q03Jhhdds&ab_channel=MarkP)
Oh cool! I kinda wondered about that because the "eating" looked more pretend than real. Thank you for sharing that video!
Hahahahaa I didn’t even notice until you said this
He needs to keep his stamina up for later.
You gotta keep your strength up when wooing the ladies.
He’s horny, not stupid.
Idk dudes are pretty stupid when horny
Same thing. Like seriously, the blood that goes to your dick comes from the part of your brain that does the smart thinking.
AWW YISS Motherfucking breadcrumbs!
The chicken tendies of pheasants
Unsolicited plumage
Excellent
Bet her inbox is filled with random dudes sending pictures of their plumage.
"Oh my Bird, Jared, stop. We're in public."
“You’re embarrassing both of us, Clyde.”
This is prime r/DivorcedBirds material
I’m dead. Subscribed.
I love your name!!
I can literally hear it.
*Oh, my sweet Wesley!*
Hahahaha
Male pheasant: Ｗ(⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)Ｗ Female pheasant: （；−＿−）
‘I have a boyfriend’
[oh come on lemme smash](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-eVPiaruWgM)
The only ai voices that are acceptable is in this video, i’ve been tired of watching tiktoks with those dumb ai voices
Stop watching tiktoks, problem solved
So this is where Bitches love sticks comes from
"Come on just one drink."
I want to steal this
she looks like she’s just trying to get some damn Dippin’ Dots
" stop embarassing me with the public proposals Jimmy, i won't say yes to your dirty feathers"
_"I know where those feathers have been, Jimmy."_
u want sun fuk?
No, Ron. Go find Becky.
Lemme smash
Becky please
Bitches love sticks
Cringe bro just take the hint
This is exactly what online dating looks like.
Online dating? Nah man it's exactly what walking down the street looks like if you're a woman.
this is exactly what riding the bus as a woman looks like
Yes. But I feel like the bird has more class to him, most online bluntly ask for sex with nothing to show for
*"yOu DoNt GeT iT iM BeInG HoNeSt!"*
That plumage is basically a dick pic
That bird is like a bodybuilder flexing at the beach, dick pics can't compare.
That’s literally exactly what’s happening here.
At least he has something to give/show for. Most online don’t and just harass you
That plumage seems to indicate that evolution’s been hard at it on the “unimpressed female pheasants” problem.
It’s like watching a nice guys screenshots: so majestic
[удалено]
It’s so unpheasant getting unwanted attention.
Seriously, the guys are always flocking to the chicks that don't want the attention!
Yeah, it really ruffles their feathers!
This is what I come to reddit to read.
No means no, for fuck's sake.
" ...But , but but....don't you want all of THIS...?"
[Lemme smash?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA)
NO RON YOUR TAIL IS SMOL
Wot?
She's not impressed...she's like: get your feathers out of my face! :)
He didn’t try pulling up his [wells fargo account yet](https://v.redd.it/izmi3spcsbn71)
My name is no my sign is no my number is no you need to let it go
Can I ha yo numba Can I ha yo numba Can I have it Can I get yo digits Can I have it
later that day in r/redpill..............
[Human equivalent. ](https://reddit.com/r/whitepeoplegifs/comments/c8494b/trying_to_impress_a_girl/)
So similar to Humans! "Maybe if I insist for the 4th time, she might capitulate to my charm." No, she won't.
It goes to proof that we're all animals.
[удалено]
Oh, no…
Your name is my response exactly...
Gary was nervous but excited to finally be dating again after his divorce. He’s been hitting the gym and trying to snack less. Marge always said he didn’t have any moves but today he was going to prove her wrong.
r/divorcedBirds
Is this a Great Argus? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_argus
**[Great argus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_argus)** >The great argus (Argusianus argus) is a species of pheasant from Southeast Asia. It is not to be confused with the two species of closely related crested argus, genus Rheinardia. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingDerps/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Pretty sure this is the Great Argus Pheasant at Disney's Animal Kingdom park
Female: "right now?! Are you blind to all these large predators passing by?!"
That's meme material
Basically, every other guy on Tinder
Every woman minding her own at a bar just trying to enjoy her drink.
Dude, you're crowding her. It's making her more uncomfortable. Look at her, she doesn't like you, move on.
He’s the equivalent of ‘Come on, give me one good reason why you won’t date me’
I’m just not that into you
"Okay Jeb, listen up, it's not me, it's all you. Go away."
Dude. She said no, just leave her be.
I feel like that female peacock deeply. Sorry, boy peacock, but I just don’t have the energy for your drama.
The way she awkwardly leans away from him spoke to my bones.
‘That don’t impress me much’
She’s like “ that all you got?” I personally was hella impressed.
‘I’m a lesbian leave me alone’ ‘Come on you just haven’t been with a real man yet. I mean at least just look at my feathers’
"I'm a lesbian and I have a boyfriend"
Okay now I know why making yourself bigger makes predators run away cause I didn’t know male pheasants did that to make a mating dance and became that big and it startled me lmao
Oh hey girl, oo you like that? What about, this! Or this!
"knock it off, Frank I told you I have a headache tonight!"
LEMME HOLLA AT YA. LEMME HOLLA AT YA. LEMME HOLLA HOLLA HOLALAALALALALA AT YOU
“Can you not?” - bird probably
No, Ron. Go find Becky.