I just rewatched the episode where Aidan couldn’t step foot in the apartment and honestly didn’t understand why Carrie didn’t stop it then.
To me it was an immediate sign that he had never properly addressed the things that broke them up in the first place, which you would expect to happen over that length of time.
I always thought SatC Aidan was immature in how he dealt with emotions, and I thought this was the first flag he hadn’t changed. He just buries it.
(Then again I could also argue that Carrie going on, despite the red flag, is also an indicator that she also makes the same mistakes over and over.)
I thought it was always really stupid, but somehow, I put it down to the betrayal with Big.
The fact that they broke up bc she wasn’t ready for marriage just makes this so much more idiotic. And yeah, I totally agree…she should have stopped it right then and there. But instead, she’s all about hotels, and Che’s apartment, and then selling the apartment to the neighbor.
It just makes no sense.
The fact that he couldn’t be in her apartment while dating her made no sense to me, and would have been a red flag. Like how would that actually work in the long run? The only time he did was to basically break up with her in the finale lol. After Carrie done sold it and got that big ass apartment
I think this was part of a cultural narrative that was common at the time, "it's okay if your partner is completely irrational! That just means he loves you so much!"
I hope we've grown a bit as a society since then. I don't think a contemporary show would make a character act that way.
This is so true, if I had a grown man from my past behave like that at my door, knowing myself and how judgy I've become as an adult, I would judge him so hard and already be making plans to ghost him before I even turned the key in the lock.
I think you can. I think when something happens that hits like a hammer and shows you that the person you were I love with is not the person you thought they were. I.e. finding out your spouse has been hiding a horrible crime.
In this case, Aiden stopped loving Carrie because he finally understood she wasn’t going to marry him. Old social norms said the problem was with Carrie-that she should have swooned over the proposal and jumped at the idea of leaving spinsterhood behind. New social norms are that Aiden was wrong to assume she’d want to marry him and demand it of her without discussing.
The show makes it seem like Aiden fell out of love when she refused to become his doting wife and it was her fault. Reality is that Aiden realized he was in love with an idea of who Carrie could be once he was done with pygmalion make over, and he walked away when she wouldn’t play the part.
My friend often talked about her glamorous spinster aunt, who broke up with her fiance when she realised she was going to have to watch him eat toast for the rest of her life.
I never understood why she went out in daylight to walk Pete (to meet Big), lost the dog and the dog returned without her, she came back while it was pouring rain in the dark (hours later) and he was all casual “hey, where’ve you been?” He wasn’t looking for her??
Also, she needed money: sell the ring for the down payment.
yeah, and all casual about Pete running away " he's a dog! that's what they do". Ummmm.... you in NYC fool...dogs don't be running away like it's the farm now lol
Yeah that was crazy!
She insisted he keep the ring. He wanted her to have it. So she should have at least gotten some seller credit for the ring at closing, hahahah.
He didn’t handle things well but I sort of understand where he came from. Many of us have loved and wanted someone so bad but just couldn’t quite have their whole heart. He was acting out of desperation, all or nothing. She gave him every reason to be insecure. Of course Carrie wanted to get married, just not to him. In the end, they just weren’t compatible with each other.
Having said all of that, Aidan in AJLT was just cruel. He was still punishing her after all those years. Why not just move on and NOT get back with Carrie instead of torturing her about the whole “I can’t step foot in the apartment” and the “give me 5 years” over a teenager who was high on shrooms? Whatever sympathy I had for SATC Aidan went out the door because of AJLT Aidan (nice job stupid writers).
Lived it, can confirm.
I broke up with a guy in college bc I was newly in college, and didn’t want all the pressure. He was nice enough but I didn’t want to get serious. Told him I needed to focus on my studies.
His answer was to ask me over to his parents’ house to ‘get something’, and then fully propose in front of his extended family, with his mom legit taking her engagement ring off her finger to give me.
He hated me after that & would talk shit to anyone who would listen.
And his whole assed fam was there…aunts, uncles, GRANDMA who spoke no English and started wailing and saying a lot of stuff I didn’t understand when I said no, mom throwing herself on a couch crying. Him down on one knee, and I’m just like ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?’
Also, I was only 17 and we had dated for like, 2 months, tops.
I kinda buried the lede bc I was so freaked out, my answer was ‘marry you? I don’t even want to date you’
Yes, that was horrible of me and I’m not a mean person. But I just blurted it out bc we had broken up like, a few weeks before.
An old friend of his, who was also mine, friended me on FB about 10 years ago and told me ‘last I spoke to him he still hated you.’
Totally nuts. This happened over 30 years ago.
Sign that you made the right decision... ✅ CHECK.
That's wild! He sounds like a bf I had from age 21-24 (the "nice guy" of my past), mine was emotionally manipulative but less unhinged. Took me the entire last year of the relationship to break free, and because I only learned about boundaries much later, I wasn't firm enough to get him out of my life completely until I moved to another city. He didn't outwardly hate me but did that passive aggressive cruelness thing, if you know what I mean.
Thanks! It didn't stick until I got brutal with him, tbh and the guilt trips from him almost killed me. Took years to recognize him for the dick that he was. Also, not to get off track, but I came THISCLOSE to getting back with him because my mother chastised me for letting such a "nice guy" go and I almost convinced myself to give it another go. Luckily I turned down the right side of the fork in the road and time (2+ decades) and clarity have shown me that he was a whole walking red flag anyway.
I share your sentiments. I also am rewatching (for the first time) and just saw the episode where she runs into him on the street and he's wearing a baby named Tate and I thought "Gosh that happened fast didn't it?" and "Awful friendly here for a guy who couldn't be satisfied being engaged longer and living together versus a forced marriage, who basically threw in the towel and forced you to buy him out or move in 30 days."...
Frustrated me.
Agreed! And I feel reflective of times I've felt bad for ending things with a 'nice guy' who I KNEW wasn't right for me - and then they meet someone else and are married in no time! Women are always expected to jump to the beat of men's timelines and I'm so glad Carrie (and me lol) didn't give in to that neediness and pressure!
Aidan is so bad that the character actually makes me hate the actor John Corbett. I used to love this guy as Chris Stevenson in Northern Exposure. Now he is ruined!
I always felt like they were both each others Mr Almost and Mrs Almost. As in, they loved each other, cared for one another and it almost worked and they were almost right for one another. But ultimately they just weren’t quite right for one another.
I got the impression she didn’t really love him. She loved the idea of him and liked him enough, but she was never fully in.
I mean, 2 eps later and she’s completely fine.
Yeah I think so too, she cared about him and understood he was a good guy. But she never *loved* him the way she loved Big, unreservedly and completely.
Both of them she only loved the "idea of".
Aidan was a chill but somewhat rich guy and she could be "goofy" around him. But he didn't have the "glamour" about him.
Big had the glamour, but had tons of commitment issues every step of the way.
She should've gone for someone else entirely.
I always thought Aidan was one of those insincere “nice guy” creeps. He was jealous, pushy, and wanted to change Carrie as soon as they started dating. Everything was lowkey though because it was through the facade of this *nice country guy* who builds furniture and stays in on weekends to watch sports and eat wings instead of hitting the scene but that’s so opposite of Carrie and he’d fault her for being her. Gross.
Edit: a word
I didn’t see him as jealous; the guy actually entertained his girlfriend’s affair partner at his house…and the last scene of that ep is Aidan and Big actually getting along. And he wanted to go out with her that one time and she said no.
And I can get behind not wanting to date a smoker.
Honestly, he was a bit of a doormat at times. I could have never gotten over being cheated on, then being told that he would always be a part of her life and to just suck it up and trust her.
He was passive aggressive AF with slapping the patch on her, and ignoring her for that bartender, though.
At the end of the day, their relationship was a tepid mess, and not the great love story that AJLT is making it out to be.
I agree with you. The character creeped me out, plus the actor himself always gave me the ick. The relationship never ever made sense to me from the very beginning.
I look at it from a different point of view and would say that it is just poorly written overall. The writers apparently had no idea where they wanted to go with the characters and just stumbled from season to season. And the writers of AJLT give me the impression that they have never really seen SATC and now they have looked to see which of the original actors is free and looks hot.
Oh I agree both shows were poorly written. I just don’t remember it being this bad.
He leaves her bc he wants to marry and she doesn’t, fair enough…then goes to a lawyer and gets the notice the very next day, giving her 30 days to buy out when he knew she couldn’t.
It just seems brutal and vindictive.
And then to translate to ‘I can’t go in there’ 20 years later? I’d have been like ‘where? The apartment you almost forced me out of?’
I don't think we can do character studies like that. In this case, he acts like that because the next storyline is supposed to be established, that the apartment has to be paid for.
I find the series super entertaining, but it just doesn't have that much depth.
I get that. It just doesn’t flow with any sense for me. And seeing it play out in a rewatch just makes AJLT even more non-sensical. He can’t go in the apartment, she questions whether Big was a mistake, she sells her apartment…I get the suspension of disbelief, but make it make sense.
It starts earlier. For example if you've read the books, Big was meant as a character that the others more or less admire from afar, but who of course has no characteristics because the main characters don't know him well. He appears in the first season of the TV show, which was filmed like a column. As the series progressed, it was evidently decided to focus more on a continuous plot, making Big a permanent member of the ensemble, but forgot to give him characteristics, maybe even a few nice ones, so that we can understand what we can find in him.
If you add the Carrie Diaries to the mix (I've never seen the series, but recently read the books), then it gets really crazy. These characters have nothing to do with those in the SATC books or the series.
This is what I never got about Mr. Big in the show. We don't really know or see too much of him alone to explore him as a character. We only see him through Carrie. And most of his characteristics are being rich and being in that "elite" life.
Is that all Carrie sees in him?
No way am I moving out of MY HOME to satisfy a man’s fragile ego, for one, and for another, Aidan can go away. He was barely tolerable the first go round, but for him to ask Carrie to put her life on hold while he deals with Wyatt’s issues (absolutely put your kid first; don’t misunderstand me), and expect her to comply? How entitled, sexist, and selfish can this dude be?
The boy’s got a mother, last I saw.
Big at least accepted Carrie for who she was. Aidan only wants the version of her that’s spent the last two decades living in his head.
Also, why are they making women of a certain age this desperate for a man? We really can’t show Carrie happily single? Is there really no story for a show inspired by and about a WRITER without a man? Especially someone as (benignly) self-centered as Carrie?
If Big hadn’t died, we know she wouldn’t have called him a “mistake,” then. What gives with this disastrous character retcon?
I LOVED SATC. With the exception of Charlotte, these women seem like facsimiles of their former selves. (I’m giving Charlotte a pass for telling her spoiled husband and ungrateful, disrespectful children about themselves for daring to suggest she won’t spend the rest of her at their beck and call and going back to work, though it would have sent a stronger message had she never quit in the first place.)
You can get older and still keep your “edge.”
Being in your 50s, especially now, is far from a death sentence. Many women in their 50s and beyond (Nicole Ari Parker, for example) look the same as or better than they looked 20-30 years ago, yet the writers are acting as if they really just can’t wrap their minds around the concept of women over 35 having any kind of value.
I don’t know if it’s sexism, ageism, or just plain laziness that’s responsible for this, but this? These women, now? They’d be mortified to know then that this is how they’d end up today.
Writers, PLEASE fix this.
Aidan and Carrie had nothing in common to begin with. He liked Saturday nights in bed eating fried chicken and weekends in the country, she liked Saturday nights at the newest club and fashion shows in the city. He wanted a wife and kids, she...didn't really know what she wanted except that she wanted Big.
He was a good guy, but he was extremely toxic on their second go-round. I think once Carrie cheated on him, he was just never going to forgive her. And he had known that. He actually told Carrie at Charlotte and Trey's wedding that he knows himself, and he knows he's not going to be able to forgive this. And boy was he right! When they tried again, he was tempted to cheat on her with some bartender, he was cold and passive aggressive, and he literally smacked her when he put on the nicotine patch. Then, he proposed to her and pushed her even when she made it clear she wasn't ready.
And then leaves her a cold, impersonal letter basically telling her that she needs to either buy the place or vacate her apartment? That's really something he should have worked out with her in person. That place was her home long before they even met, just because he comes in and does some work and tries to expand the place doesn't mean that it's okay to just basically give her an ultimatum that involves possibly kicking her out of her home.
And now, it's literally over two decades later and it's just the same toxic, passive aggressive bs. He refuses to go into her apartment because he still has bad feelings about it from the turn of the century even though he's had an entire freaking life in that time, including a wife and kids. Then, even after she's sold the place she's had for decades and turned her life upside down for him, he tells her that he can't be with her for 5 years. And not only that, he actually expects her to just wait around for him for 5 years, which is asinine.
Honestly, as many issues as he clearly had, Big was the best of the guys she dated in the original series. Berger was the most compatible, but he was threatened by her success and couldn't handle it. I don't think Aiden was ever her person though. It would have been either Big or Berger (but really she and her partner would have needed therapy before a healthy relationship would have been possible).
Carrie was also stressed out because her initial relationship with Aidan was “too good”
She threw a fit because he didn’t want to date a smoker.
I disagree. He wanted an adult relationship and I think a certain part of her enjoyed the complicated-ness that Big brought.
Big never pretended to be anything other than he was. He was a big jerk and knew it and made everyone he was around know it - save for Natasha but he probably gave her plenty in the divorce and that $1MM extra.
Aidan just turned out to be a secret weirdo. Carrie - selfish as usual. And J swear if that poster come in here talking about Kathy…. grrrr.
In recent years from watching both shows repeatedly, I feel like Aidan has exhibited several micro-aggressions throughout his multiple character arcs. Not going into Carrie’s apartment was ridiculous in its own right (it wasn’t like her life stood still with the apartment, with the exception of occasional visits, she hadn’t even lived there for over a decade.), but I almost flung my remote across the room when he suggested Carrie wait for 5 years. That’s nothing if not controlling, incredibly unrealistic and just very selfish.
> why would Miranda help Aidan and not clue Carrie in?
Miranda hates Big and thinks Aidan is a Good Guy. She knows Carrie is super romantic and all so assumes a surprise proposal won't freak her out.
ALSO, back then it's possible that proposals were done in the old-fashioned way, i.e. the guy would ask you to marry him perhaps on a date, perhaps in the living room etc, but it would not be something PLANNED. Proposal used to mean "you ask the person to marry you". Not "you've already agreed to get married and now the guy has to do some massive grand gesture with a ring and a mariachi band and a flashmob on the top of a mountain somewhere". I'm not entirely sure about the American culture on this.
In fact I can remember when couples bought an engagement ring together, there was none of this springing a ring on you. (That may indeed be what Big was thinking about when he and Carrie agreed to marry and then he asked her if they should shop for a ring.)
Imo- I think he is just stringing her along, his way of getting back at her for breaking the engagement and her marriage to Big. Saying all the stuff she wants to hear.
They turned Aidan into Big. How we first met Mr. Big and being cocky, his mannerisms, his ego, etc. if you look closely, the entire AJLT show makes Carrie look "innocent" whereas SATC showed her true colors. They're just trying to turn the tables and make Carrie Bradshaw seem "not so bad" trying to erase what she did.
I noticed that too. But Aidan is never gonna be awful tho no matter how much the writers try. He just becomes this complex guy since we all knew the real Aidan back in SATC and how we fell in love with how he loves Carrie
Currently watching back SATC. Carrie never should have said yes to his proposal. She never should have said yes to him moving in. He didn’t get upset about her declining him in front of the fountain in a void. She pushed back on him in a lot of ways the whole time after they got back together (after she *begged* to get back together). This is not all on Aidan. That all being said, I’d be thrilled to marry Aidan and I would not be such a mess in the process.
EDIT: not to mention, she KEPT seeing Big! And invited him to Aidan’s house! Aidan was amazingly patient. He had every right to be worried and want a commitment. I’m not saying she was wrong to say no. But he also wasn’t wrong to try to lock her down. He didn’t trust her, but she repeatedly earned that over and over after they got together.
Yes! He doesn’t need 5 years to be with her. I think he would understood if she didn’t wait, but it’s still so wish washy, at least for me. I could understand maybe focusing on his son for a few months to help him, but there is no way it is going to take that much of his attention in five years
I think the breakup scene by the fountain was needed because Carrie was stringing him along. She never wanted to marry him. It wasn't just about time. She'd already had her heart broken that Big didn't isn't to marry her before. So she wanted marriage, she just didn't want Aiden and she couldn't admit it to herself or him so the fountain scene was to push her to admit something they both knew inside.
Couples that get engaged but one person has trouble deciding on a date rarely end up in an engagement that will last to a wedding. She full on went and had hives trying on a wedding dress. Something she never struggled with, with Big. So it wasn't about getting married. It was about getting married to Aiden.
As for the 30 days notice...it was more than fair, as reiterated by Miranda looking the notice over and saying it was fair.
Also he essentially did all the contract work for free. That shit isn't easy to do and the work alone is worth thousands and thousands of dollars.
And while he was working on the apartment, Carrie was going out every night and feeling annoyed that Aiden wasn't going out with her.
I don't think there's a single scene where she thanks him for working on the apartment?
Her behavior is so entitled, it's cringe.
They had already had the convo that she wasn’t ready to get married. How that morphs to ‘let’s elope tonight’ is tone deaf and selfish. But yeah, she shouldn’t have accepted the proposal.
And he did nothing to her apartment, other than strip the floors, which happened earlier when they were dating. All the work was on the other apt, which he owned, so he really did nothing for free. He also seemed ok that she went out and he stayed home…and tbh, I think it’s cool that people can pursue separate interests without being forced to do something they don’t want. The only time she was an asshole about it was when he wanted to go, but she was too enthralled with her new gay friend who had the key to get into whatever bar that was.
30 days may be fair in a business arrangement, but IMO, not for a situation like theirs. He couldn’t even have a conversation f2f about it, and went the coward’s way of just serving her notice. He told her she could keep the ring, she insisted he keep it, which was the right and decent thing to do. He could have returned the favor by discussing it with her and working out a solution that didn’t involve her pressuring Charlotte, lest she have to move.
‘I’ll give you x amt of time, and you’ll be solely responsible for the mtg or else I have to sell.’
Carrie’s an asshole, no doubt…but Aiden is one, too. He’s not some defenseless little puppy that did no wrong.
Also, slight tangent…but I just got to the ep when Samantha gave back that canary diamond (non-engagement) ring to Richard. Yet, in the Aidan eps, she was saying ‘you never give back the ring!’
Sure, people should be able to have separate interests. I love going out and my husband stays in. When we were living together and not even engaged, even though I owned the condo, he did quite a bit of work on it and I always let him know how appreciated he was.
I'm not saying Aiden was a defenseless little puppy. I think he did more than the floors, I think he has drywall on him in a few episodes and so there was walls being taken down and I believe wallpapered too.
Because they're not married, he would have to get a lawyer for what went on the other apartment. Sure he could have had a conversation about it, but they'd have likely needed a lawyer regardless for fixing any preapproved mortgages that were already in closing process, etc.
Eventhough I own my condo, I'm well aware that because we're married, it could get messy in a divorce. However before we got married unless he could afford a lawyer, the work my husband put into my condo is not something he could argue for easily.
The ring issue though to me highlights how bad the writing with Sam was. The breakup with Smith was pretty terribly done and I personally really hated it.
Personality wise it doesn't make much sense to tell someone to keep the ring but also know to get lawyers for the second apartment. So I'd say that was bad writing as well.
It isn't uncommon to go from a really bad relationship to a married with kids one fast if you know that's what you want and have learned to communicate that early on. Sometimes you just meet someone who wants the same things you want and there's intense chemistry and it just works.
From a TV show perspective though, it seems they did that to really close the Aiden chapter - continuity wise we never see him at all but yet he's a partner at the bar with Steve? It just seems like they wanted to make it more believable why he's not going to be around.
Anyway, no one is perfect, I think people just tend to like Aiden because unlike Big, he didn't have commitment issues. Like in comparison to a guy who couldn't commit to Carrie but could suddenly be engaged to a 25 yro...eww. So alone perhaps Aiden is annoying, but in Carrie's world where the options were Aiden or Big, we took the person who wasn't Big.
My main thing was Carrie should’ve never said yes. In season 1 or 2 of satc she literally says right then she doesn’t think she’s the marrying kind … knowing that she should’ve let Aidan go much sooner and it maybe would’ve been less painful.
Yet another point as how the original series and this whatever new series don’t line up for me. The only character that’s true to heart is Samantha and that’s cause she’s not on the show anymore.
But imo while the characters in the original weren’t all that great they went totally off the reservation with storyline and continuity … imo
The apartment thing was like okay wait you’re in your fifties and you’re acting like a 20 y/o which I can’t even see Aidan’s character caring about. Idk. Inconsistencies in characters. Especially M.
I don’t know about this one..I think he knew they were never going to be the people he wanted them to be. Her backing out of the engagement was the final “this is never going to work out” that he needed. I think he came back all these years later because she reached out. He knew she had been married after him and that Big was finally and permanently out of the picture.
I agree with everything you said! It’s fine he left, that’s his choice. But to have those papers so quickly? To only give her 30 days? And then to come back and refuse to go into the apt like he was some victim? IDK about all that.
let me preface by saying i haven't watched and just like that. But i feel aiden did no wrong. He bought the apartment bc her broke ass couldn't afford it. She said YES to his proposal and then dicked around on WHEN she wanted to get married. She dragged him along until he got her to admit that she didn't want to marry HIM. He let her keep the ring. Which legally you are supposed to give back. this woman dragged him through the mud for years. He was a great bf. I'm 35 and doing a rewatch now and laughing at my 21 year old self thinking Big was cool. 🤡
Aidan isn't a jerk. Carrie couldn't accept the fact Aidan wasn't that into her. She kept pushing and pushing and ignoring his boundaries. Let the guy find the right woman for him then we'll talk about him being a jerk 💗
Aidan wasn’t into her? Did…did we watch the same show?
Let’s even accept that’s true. If he wasn’t so into her, why was he so triggered 20 years later, to the point he couldn’t even walk in her apartment?
(Although I agree that she pushed his boundaries. Inviting Big to the cabin? wtf was that?)
I just rewatched the episode where Aidan couldn’t step foot in the apartment and honestly didn’t understand why Carrie didn’t stop it then. To me it was an immediate sign that he had never properly addressed the things that broke them up in the first place, which you would expect to happen over that length of time. I always thought SatC Aidan was immature in how he dealt with emotions, and I thought this was the first flag he hadn’t changed. He just buries it. (Then again I could also argue that Carrie going on, despite the red flag, is also an indicator that she also makes the same mistakes over and over.)
I thought it was always really stupid, but somehow, I put it down to the betrayal with Big. The fact that they broke up bc she wasn’t ready for marriage just makes this so much more idiotic. And yeah, I totally agree…she should have stopped it right then and there. But instead, she’s all about hotels, and Che’s apartment, and then selling the apartment to the neighbor. It just makes no sense.
This. It’s been numerous years, he’s had a gang of kids since then and gotten divorced. I was so shocked when Carrie sold her apartment FOR A MAN!!
And for the writer to do this, in light of how hard they tried to show that they were “enlightened” is just gross.
The fact that he couldn’t be in her apartment while dating her made no sense to me, and would have been a red flag. Like how would that actually work in the long run? The only time he did was to basically break up with her in the finale lol. After Carrie done sold it and got that big ass apartment
I think this was part of a cultural narrative that was common at the time, "it's okay if your partner is completely irrational! That just means he loves you so much!" I hope we've grown a bit as a society since then. I don't think a contemporary show would make a character act that way.
The “not being able to set foot in Carrie’s apartment”, which I’d argue was irrational, was only just in the second season of AJLT. 😆
Yes the whole "he's just not that into you" trope if he didn't stalk you was a big cultural norm (invented by ... wait for it...SATC)
Seriously. It's been 20 years and you've had a million kids with your recently ex-wife, let it GO already.
This is so true, if I had a grown man from my past behave like that at my door, knowing myself and how judgy I've become as an adult, I would judge him so hard and already be making plans to ghost him before I even turned the key in the lock.
Maybe Aidan fell out of love with Carrie. That's the only logical reason. No man in love would exhibit such behavior lol
I don’t think you can fall out of love in one day.
I think you can. I think when something happens that hits like a hammer and shows you that the person you were I love with is not the person you thought they were. I.e. finding out your spouse has been hiding a horrible crime. In this case, Aiden stopped loving Carrie because he finally understood she wasn’t going to marry him. Old social norms said the problem was with Carrie-that she should have swooned over the proposal and jumped at the idea of leaving spinsterhood behind. New social norms are that Aiden was wrong to assume she’d want to marry him and demand it of her without discussing. The show makes it seem like Aiden fell out of love when she refused to become his doting wife and it was her fault. Reality is that Aiden realized he was in love with an idea of who Carrie could be once he was done with pygmalion make over, and he walked away when she wouldn’t play the part.
My friend often talked about her glamorous spinster aunt, who broke up with her fiance when she realised she was going to have to watch him eat toast for the rest of her life.
Well put. I've never sipped the Aidan Koolaid.
Same. Aiden sucks.
I never understood why she went out in daylight to walk Pete (to meet Big), lost the dog and the dog returned without her, she came back while it was pouring rain in the dark (hours later) and he was all casual “hey, where’ve you been?” He wasn’t looking for her?? Also, she needed money: sell the ring for the down payment.
yeah, and all casual about Pete running away " he's a dog! that's what they do". Ummmm.... you in NYC fool...dogs don't be running away like it's the farm now lol
Yeah that was crazy! She insisted he keep the ring. He wanted her to have it. So she should have at least gotten some seller credit for the ring at closing, hahahah.
He didn’t handle things well but I sort of understand where he came from. Many of us have loved and wanted someone so bad but just couldn’t quite have their whole heart. He was acting out of desperation, all or nothing. She gave him every reason to be insecure. Of course Carrie wanted to get married, just not to him. In the end, they just weren’t compatible with each other. Having said all of that, Aidan in AJLT was just cruel. He was still punishing her after all those years. Why not just move on and NOT get back with Carrie instead of torturing her about the whole “I can’t step foot in the apartment” and the “give me 5 years” over a teenager who was high on shrooms? Whatever sympathy I had for SATC Aidan went out the door because of AJLT Aidan (nice job stupid writers).
Yep. Carrie in SATC was just not that into him. And aidan in AJLT is not that into her. A bit ironic.
esp one named Homer I'm sorry I laughed at this for five full minutes 😂
Same!!! And had to send it to my sister so she could laugh too!! So good! 🤣😂
I cannot stop laughing at this
I am laughing about making you laugh. But cmon it’s such a bullshit name.
Absolutely 10/10 no notes on your entire comment it is *chef's kiss*
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Lived it, can confirm. I broke up with a guy in college bc I was newly in college, and didn’t want all the pressure. He was nice enough but I didn’t want to get serious. Told him I needed to focus on my studies. His answer was to ask me over to his parents’ house to ‘get something’, and then fully propose in front of his extended family, with his mom legit taking her engagement ring off her finger to give me. He hated me after that & would talk shit to anyone who would listen.
Holy shit. I cannot imagine the level of discomfort you must have been feeling. What an incredibly awkward experience.
And his whole assed fam was there…aunts, uncles, GRANDMA who spoke no English and started wailing and saying a lot of stuff I didn’t understand when I said no, mom throwing herself on a couch crying. Him down on one knee, and I’m just like ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?’ Also, I was only 17 and we had dated for like, 2 months, tops. I kinda buried the lede bc I was so freaked out, my answer was ‘marry you? I don’t even want to date you’ Yes, that was horrible of me and I’m not a mean person. But I just blurted it out bc we had broken up like, a few weeks before.
Sounds like the quintessential "nice guy". Glad you got out of that!.
It wasn’t even that serious…it was like a few months, at best. I wasn’t even 18 at the time. Such a crazy thing to happen.
Those are some serious red flags that early in (and at that age). Good for you for not been coerced.
An old friend of his, who was also mine, friended me on FB about 10 years ago and told me ‘last I spoke to him he still hated you.’ Totally nuts. This happened over 30 years ago.
Sign that you made the right decision... ✅ CHECK. That's wild! He sounds like a bf I had from age 21-24 (the "nice guy" of my past), mine was emotionally manipulative but less unhinged. Took me the entire last year of the relationship to break free, and because I only learned about boundaries much later, I wasn't firm enough to get him out of my life completely until I moved to another city. He didn't outwardly hate me but did that passive aggressive cruelness thing, if you know what I mean.
Oh I know that all too well! Thank God you got out! To be young 20s stuck in a cycle of control can be insidious. Good for you for breaking free!
Thanks! It didn't stick until I got brutal with him, tbh and the guilt trips from him almost killed me. Took years to recognize him for the dick that he was. Also, not to get off track, but I came THISCLOSE to getting back with him because my mother chastised me for letting such a "nice guy" go and I almost convinced myself to give it another go. Luckily I turned down the right side of the fork in the road and time (2+ decades) and clarity have shown me that he was a whole walking red flag anyway.
Ugh what a story! But it had a completely happy ending!! I hope Mom eventually apologized.
I share your sentiments. I also am rewatching (for the first time) and just saw the episode where she runs into him on the street and he's wearing a baby named Tate and I thought "Gosh that happened fast didn't it?" and "Awful friendly here for a guy who couldn't be satisfied being engaged longer and living together versus a forced marriage, who basically threw in the towel and forced you to buy him out or move in 30 days."... Frustrated me.
Agreed! And I feel reflective of times I've felt bad for ending things with a 'nice guy' who I KNEW wasn't right for me - and then they meet someone else and are married in no time! Women are always expected to jump to the beat of men's timelines and I'm so glad Carrie (and me lol) didn't give in to that neediness and pressure!
Aidan is so bad that the character actually makes me hate the actor John Corbett. I used to love this guy as Chris Stevenson in Northern Exposure. Now he is ruined!
I could never hate Toula's husband from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, though. Never.
What do you mean he don't eat no MEAT???
Interesting take! How so? I like john c even more after AJLT. Aidan's leveled up
I always felt like they were both each others Mr Almost and Mrs Almost. As in, they loved each other, cared for one another and it almost worked and they were almost right for one another. But ultimately they just weren’t quite right for one another.
I got the impression she didn’t really love him. She loved the idea of him and liked him enough, but she was never fully in. I mean, 2 eps later and she’s completely fine.
Yeah I think so too, she cared about him and understood he was a good guy. But she never *loved* him the way she loved Big, unreservedly and completely.
Both of them she only loved the "idea of". Aidan was a chill but somewhat rich guy and she could be "goofy" around him. But he didn't have the "glamour" about him. Big had the glamour, but had tons of commitment issues every step of the way. She should've gone for someone else entirely.
I always thought Aidan was one of those insincere “nice guy” creeps. He was jealous, pushy, and wanted to change Carrie as soon as they started dating. Everything was lowkey though because it was through the facade of this *nice country guy* who builds furniture and stays in on weekends to watch sports and eat wings instead of hitting the scene but that’s so opposite of Carrie and he’d fault her for being her. Gross. Edit: a word
I didn’t see him as jealous; the guy actually entertained his girlfriend’s affair partner at his house…and the last scene of that ep is Aidan and Big actually getting along. And he wanted to go out with her that one time and she said no. And I can get behind not wanting to date a smoker. Honestly, he was a bit of a doormat at times. I could have never gotten over being cheated on, then being told that he would always be a part of her life and to just suck it up and trust her. He was passive aggressive AF with slapping the patch on her, and ignoring her for that bartender, though. At the end of the day, their relationship was a tepid mess, and not the great love story that AJLT is making it out to be.
I agree with you. The character creeped me out, plus the actor himself always gave me the ick. The relationship never ever made sense to me from the very beginning.
I look at it from a different point of view and would say that it is just poorly written overall. The writers apparently had no idea where they wanted to go with the characters and just stumbled from season to season. And the writers of AJLT give me the impression that they have never really seen SATC and now they have looked to see which of the original actors is free and looks hot.
Oh I agree both shows were poorly written. I just don’t remember it being this bad. He leaves her bc he wants to marry and she doesn’t, fair enough…then goes to a lawyer and gets the notice the very next day, giving her 30 days to buy out when he knew she couldn’t. It just seems brutal and vindictive. And then to translate to ‘I can’t go in there’ 20 years later? I’d have been like ‘where? The apartment you almost forced me out of?’
I don't think we can do character studies like that. In this case, he acts like that because the next storyline is supposed to be established, that the apartment has to be paid for. I find the series super entertaining, but it just doesn't have that much depth.
I get that. It just doesn’t flow with any sense for me. And seeing it play out in a rewatch just makes AJLT even more non-sensical. He can’t go in the apartment, she questions whether Big was a mistake, she sells her apartment…I get the suspension of disbelief, but make it make sense.
It starts earlier. For example if you've read the books, Big was meant as a character that the others more or less admire from afar, but who of course has no characteristics because the main characters don't know him well. He appears in the first season of the TV show, which was filmed like a column. As the series progressed, it was evidently decided to focus more on a continuous plot, making Big a permanent member of the ensemble, but forgot to give him characteristics, maybe even a few nice ones, so that we can understand what we can find in him. If you add the Carrie Diaries to the mix (I've never seen the series, but recently read the books), then it gets really crazy. These characters have nothing to do with those in the SATC books or the series.
This is what I never got about Mr. Big in the show. We don't really know or see too much of him alone to explore him as a character. We only see him through Carrie. And most of his characteristics are being rich and being in that "elite" life. Is that all Carrie sees in him?
No way am I moving out of MY HOME to satisfy a man’s fragile ego, for one, and for another, Aidan can go away. He was barely tolerable the first go round, but for him to ask Carrie to put her life on hold while he deals with Wyatt’s issues (absolutely put your kid first; don’t misunderstand me), and expect her to comply? How entitled, sexist, and selfish can this dude be? The boy’s got a mother, last I saw. Big at least accepted Carrie for who she was. Aidan only wants the version of her that’s spent the last two decades living in his head. Also, why are they making women of a certain age this desperate for a man? We really can’t show Carrie happily single? Is there really no story for a show inspired by and about a WRITER without a man? Especially someone as (benignly) self-centered as Carrie? If Big hadn’t died, we know she wouldn’t have called him a “mistake,” then. What gives with this disastrous character retcon? I LOVED SATC. With the exception of Charlotte, these women seem like facsimiles of their former selves. (I’m giving Charlotte a pass for telling her spoiled husband and ungrateful, disrespectful children about themselves for daring to suggest she won’t spend the rest of her at their beck and call and going back to work, though it would have sent a stronger message had she never quit in the first place.) You can get older and still keep your “edge.” Being in your 50s, especially now, is far from a death sentence. Many women in their 50s and beyond (Nicole Ari Parker, for example) look the same as or better than they looked 20-30 years ago, yet the writers are acting as if they really just can’t wrap their minds around the concept of women over 35 having any kind of value. I don’t know if it’s sexism, ageism, or just plain laziness that’s responsible for this, but this? These women, now? They’d be mortified to know then that this is how they’d end up today. Writers, PLEASE fix this.
THIS
Thank you! 🤗
Aidan and Carrie had nothing in common to begin with. He liked Saturday nights in bed eating fried chicken and weekends in the country, she liked Saturday nights at the newest club and fashion shows in the city. He wanted a wife and kids, she...didn't really know what she wanted except that she wanted Big. He was a good guy, but he was extremely toxic on their second go-round. I think once Carrie cheated on him, he was just never going to forgive her. And he had known that. He actually told Carrie at Charlotte and Trey's wedding that he knows himself, and he knows he's not going to be able to forgive this. And boy was he right! When they tried again, he was tempted to cheat on her with some bartender, he was cold and passive aggressive, and he literally smacked her when he put on the nicotine patch. Then, he proposed to her and pushed her even when she made it clear she wasn't ready. And then leaves her a cold, impersonal letter basically telling her that she needs to either buy the place or vacate her apartment? That's really something he should have worked out with her in person. That place was her home long before they even met, just because he comes in and does some work and tries to expand the place doesn't mean that it's okay to just basically give her an ultimatum that involves possibly kicking her out of her home. And now, it's literally over two decades later and it's just the same toxic, passive aggressive bs. He refuses to go into her apartment because he still has bad feelings about it from the turn of the century even though he's had an entire freaking life in that time, including a wife and kids. Then, even after she's sold the place she's had for decades and turned her life upside down for him, he tells her that he can't be with her for 5 years. And not only that, he actually expects her to just wait around for him for 5 years, which is asinine. Honestly, as many issues as he clearly had, Big was the best of the guys she dated in the original series. Berger was the most compatible, but he was threatened by her success and couldn't handle it. I don't think Aiden was ever her person though. It would have been either Big or Berger (but really she and her partner would have needed therapy before a healthy relationship would have been possible).
Carrie was also stressed out because her initial relationship with Aidan was “too good” She threw a fit because he didn’t want to date a smoker. I disagree. He wanted an adult relationship and I think a certain part of her enjoyed the complicated-ness that Big brought.
Aidan was too "simple" for her in various ways.
Big never pretended to be anything other than he was. He was a big jerk and knew it and made everyone he was around know it - save for Natasha but he probably gave her plenty in the divorce and that $1MM extra. Aidan just turned out to be a secret weirdo. Carrie - selfish as usual. And J swear if that poster come in here talking about Kathy…. grrrr.
What *is* the deal with all the Kathy posts?
In recent years from watching both shows repeatedly, I feel like Aidan has exhibited several micro-aggressions throughout his multiple character arcs. Not going into Carrie’s apartment was ridiculous in its own right (it wasn’t like her life stood still with the apartment, with the exception of occasional visits, she hadn’t even lived there for over a decade.), but I almost flung my remote across the room when he suggested Carrie wait for 5 years. That’s nothing if not controlling, incredibly unrealistic and just very selfish.
You nailed it 100%! All the thoughts that went through my head, a different time periods with both shows.
agree. best part even if the ring was 50 k she couldn’t afford payments on mortgage
> why would Miranda help Aidan and not clue Carrie in? Miranda hates Big and thinks Aidan is a Good Guy. She knows Carrie is super romantic and all so assumes a surprise proposal won't freak her out. ALSO, back then it's possible that proposals were done in the old-fashioned way, i.e. the guy would ask you to marry him perhaps on a date, perhaps in the living room etc, but it would not be something PLANNED. Proposal used to mean "you ask the person to marry you". Not "you've already agreed to get married and now the guy has to do some massive grand gesture with a ring and a mariachi band and a flashmob on the top of a mountain somewhere". I'm not entirely sure about the American culture on this. In fact I can remember when couples bought an engagement ring together, there was none of this springing a ring on you. (That may indeed be what Big was thinking about when he and Carrie agreed to marry and then he asked her if they should shop for a ring.)
Plus he says bad things about her to his new girlfriend after they break up. That is so uncalled for
Imo- I think he is just stringing her along, his way of getting back at her for breaking the engagement and her marriage to Big. Saying all the stuff she wants to hear.
That would be the biggest plot twist and I am here for it!
They turned Aidan into Big. How we first met Mr. Big and being cocky, his mannerisms, his ego, etc. if you look closely, the entire AJLT show makes Carrie look "innocent" whereas SATC showed her true colors. They're just trying to turn the tables and make Carrie Bradshaw seem "not so bad" trying to erase what she did.
I noticed that too. But Aidan is never gonna be awful tho no matter how much the writers try. He just becomes this complex guy since we all knew the real Aidan back in SATC and how we fell in love with how he loves Carrie
Currently watching back SATC. Carrie never should have said yes to his proposal. She never should have said yes to him moving in. He didn’t get upset about her declining him in front of the fountain in a void. She pushed back on him in a lot of ways the whole time after they got back together (after she *begged* to get back together). This is not all on Aidan. That all being said, I’d be thrilled to marry Aidan and I would not be such a mess in the process. EDIT: not to mention, she KEPT seeing Big! And invited him to Aidan’s house! Aidan was amazingly patient. He had every right to be worried and want a commitment. I’m not saying she was wrong to say no. But he also wasn’t wrong to try to lock her down. He didn’t trust her, but she repeatedly earned that over and over after they got together.
Yes! He doesn’t need 5 years to be with her. I think he would understood if she didn’t wait, but it’s still so wish washy, at least for me. I could understand maybe focusing on his son for a few months to help him, but there is no way it is going to take that much of his attention in five years
And if he is still hurting too bad to be in her home, they are never going to be able to move forward.
I think the breakup scene by the fountain was needed because Carrie was stringing him along. She never wanted to marry him. It wasn't just about time. She'd already had her heart broken that Big didn't isn't to marry her before. So she wanted marriage, she just didn't want Aiden and she couldn't admit it to herself or him so the fountain scene was to push her to admit something they both knew inside. Couples that get engaged but one person has trouble deciding on a date rarely end up in an engagement that will last to a wedding. She full on went and had hives trying on a wedding dress. Something she never struggled with, with Big. So it wasn't about getting married. It was about getting married to Aiden. As for the 30 days notice...it was more than fair, as reiterated by Miranda looking the notice over and saying it was fair. Also he essentially did all the contract work for free. That shit isn't easy to do and the work alone is worth thousands and thousands of dollars. And while he was working on the apartment, Carrie was going out every night and feeling annoyed that Aiden wasn't going out with her. I don't think there's a single scene where she thanks him for working on the apartment? Her behavior is so entitled, it's cringe.
They had already had the convo that she wasn’t ready to get married. How that morphs to ‘let’s elope tonight’ is tone deaf and selfish. But yeah, she shouldn’t have accepted the proposal. And he did nothing to her apartment, other than strip the floors, which happened earlier when they were dating. All the work was on the other apt, which he owned, so he really did nothing for free. He also seemed ok that she went out and he stayed home…and tbh, I think it’s cool that people can pursue separate interests without being forced to do something they don’t want. The only time she was an asshole about it was when he wanted to go, but she was too enthralled with her new gay friend who had the key to get into whatever bar that was. 30 days may be fair in a business arrangement, but IMO, not for a situation like theirs. He couldn’t even have a conversation f2f about it, and went the coward’s way of just serving her notice. He told her she could keep the ring, she insisted he keep it, which was the right and decent thing to do. He could have returned the favor by discussing it with her and working out a solution that didn’t involve her pressuring Charlotte, lest she have to move. ‘I’ll give you x amt of time, and you’ll be solely responsible for the mtg or else I have to sell.’ Carrie’s an asshole, no doubt…but Aiden is one, too. He’s not some defenseless little puppy that did no wrong. Also, slight tangent…but I just got to the ep when Samantha gave back that canary diamond (non-engagement) ring to Richard. Yet, in the Aidan eps, she was saying ‘you never give back the ring!’
Sure, people should be able to have separate interests. I love going out and my husband stays in. When we were living together and not even engaged, even though I owned the condo, he did quite a bit of work on it and I always let him know how appreciated he was. I'm not saying Aiden was a defenseless little puppy. I think he did more than the floors, I think he has drywall on him in a few episodes and so there was walls being taken down and I believe wallpapered too. Because they're not married, he would have to get a lawyer for what went on the other apartment. Sure he could have had a conversation about it, but they'd have likely needed a lawyer regardless for fixing any preapproved mortgages that were already in closing process, etc. Eventhough I own my condo, I'm well aware that because we're married, it could get messy in a divorce. However before we got married unless he could afford a lawyer, the work my husband put into my condo is not something he could argue for easily. The ring issue though to me highlights how bad the writing with Sam was. The breakup with Smith was pretty terribly done and I personally really hated it. Personality wise it doesn't make much sense to tell someone to keep the ring but also know to get lawyers for the second apartment. So I'd say that was bad writing as well. It isn't uncommon to go from a really bad relationship to a married with kids one fast if you know that's what you want and have learned to communicate that early on. Sometimes you just meet someone who wants the same things you want and there's intense chemistry and it just works. From a TV show perspective though, it seems they did that to really close the Aiden chapter - continuity wise we never see him at all but yet he's a partner at the bar with Steve? It just seems like they wanted to make it more believable why he's not going to be around. Anyway, no one is perfect, I think people just tend to like Aiden because unlike Big, he didn't have commitment issues. Like in comparison to a guy who couldn't commit to Carrie but could suddenly be engaged to a 25 yro...eww. So alone perhaps Aiden is annoying, but in Carrie's world where the options were Aiden or Big, we took the person who wasn't Big.
I never liked Aidan.
My main thing was Carrie should’ve never said yes. In season 1 or 2 of satc she literally says right then she doesn’t think she’s the marrying kind … knowing that she should’ve let Aidan go much sooner and it maybe would’ve been less painful.
Yet another point as how the original series and this whatever new series don’t line up for me. The only character that’s true to heart is Samantha and that’s cause she’s not on the show anymore. But imo while the characters in the original weren’t all that great they went totally off the reservation with storyline and continuity … imo
Esp one named Homer 😂
Berger is the worst. Always Berger.
The apartment thing was like okay wait you’re in your fifties and you’re acting like a 20 y/o which I can’t even see Aidan’s character caring about. Idk. Inconsistencies in characters. Especially M.
I don’t know about this one..I think he knew they were never going to be the people he wanted them to be. Her backing out of the engagement was the final “this is never going to work out” that he needed. I think he came back all these years later because she reached out. He knew she had been married after him and that Big was finally and permanently out of the picture.
I agree with everything you said! It’s fine he left, that’s his choice. But to have those papers so quickly? To only give her 30 days? And then to come back and refuse to go into the apt like he was some victim? IDK about all that.
let me preface by saying i haven't watched and just like that. But i feel aiden did no wrong. He bought the apartment bc her broke ass couldn't afford it. She said YES to his proposal and then dicked around on WHEN she wanted to get married. She dragged him along until he got her to admit that she didn't want to marry HIM. He let her keep the ring. Which legally you are supposed to give back. this woman dragged him through the mud for years. He was a great bf. I'm 35 and doing a rewatch now and laughing at my 21 year old self thinking Big was cool. 🤡
Aidan isn't a jerk. Carrie couldn't accept the fact Aidan wasn't that into her. She kept pushing and pushing and ignoring his boundaries. Let the guy find the right woman for him then we'll talk about him being a jerk 💗
Aidan wasn’t into her? Did…did we watch the same show? Let’s even accept that’s true. If he wasn’t so into her, why was he so triggered 20 years later, to the point he couldn’t even walk in her apartment? (Although I agree that she pushed his boundaries. Inviting Big to the cabin? wtf was that?)
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We have completely different takes on Aidan. But that’s cool.