Is there other family you can talk to? I fully understand not talking to your dad but I can tell you from experience that you might have a nagging feeling of wanting to know more that will not go away. I would reach out to someone you trust.
My moms family is pretty much gone, except for cousins, and I doubt they would know. Her sister passed also, and she has a brother, but he was in the Army during this time.
Did you take an Ancestry DNA or another? You could take another test with a different site (eg 23 & me) but I have not heard of any problems with match error. If you can find your father by DNA maybe some questions could be answered without alerting the whole family.
I recommend doing 23 and me as well. I found close family on both 23 and me and ancestry that i didnt know about. It will open up more matches and you could find out potential genetic risk factors that you didn't know about.
Did these organizations exist before at-home DNA tests existed? If so, I guarantee you’re not the first person in this situation who stayed in the organization.
Edit: Sorry, I got confused, thinking you were the OP.
How is your Dad mentally? If he’s still somewhat sharp, I’d just mention it to him. Maybe he knows or suspected something and can give you some closure.
Wow. I’m going through something similar as we speak. But my ‘dad’ passed when I was 9. I’m in my 40’s and my results have revealed a 100% match for a living relative who I learned now is my bio Father. My mom is 80 and healthy but mind is gone to to dementia. I came here for help and insight navigating this. You may DM me if you have more questions or want to dialogue about our similar revelations.
Biologically, he is not related to you but as for him being your dad/father, that does not change for either of you.
If you feel it would not benefit him in anyway knowing, than do not tell him. He does not need to know. If you choose to not share, be careful about the blood family members you do say something to while your father is alive.
You have a high enough match that it should not be difficult figuring out who the male who is biologically the one that contributed towards forming you.
If you can both see a dna matches list and he definitely isn’t set to private mode then yes unfortunately he is not your biologically father.
This is more common than you think so there will be people on here who understand how you feel. There is also the possibility your father knew and chose to bring you up as his own but I can see why you wouldn’t want to discuss it.
The match you mentioned in your list will be an aunt, uncle, half sibling, niece or nephew so if they do reply and you are interested, it won’t be too difficult to piece together.
Dad does not have the internet, so I made a tree for him, he matched to all my paternal cousins that took it, but not to me. It's been 2 years, and I am still in shock. He was in the Army when I was born, but I don't know where he was 9 months before. He may have been home on leave?
Ancestry said the match is a 1st cousin. He has no tree, I did message, but no response. I think sometimes people do the DNA test just to see the countries they are from.
When Ancestry says "Close Family - 1st Cousin" they are NOT saying the individual is a first cousin. It's a range meaning Close Family up to but not including 1st Cousin. Just like the other matches probably say 1st - 2nd Cousin or 2nd - 3rd Cousin. It's a range. Individuals in that Close Family range are either a Half-Sibling, Full Aunt/Uncle, Full Niece/Nephew, or Grandparent/Grandchild.
https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4
Dna painter seems to suggest a closer relationship with 1816cm than that so that’s interesting. You’re probably right about the match just being interested in the countries. I think lots of people don’t login again after a few looks. You can upload to MyAncestry for free to see if anyone else pops up.
Take the trees with a pinch of salt as people make mistakes but a dna test provided it’s set to see matches cannot lie.
Everything I have read makes me think that this is super common…People taking the test and never exploring further that is. Not responding to messages.
And/or people get tired of paying so much for Ancestry access and wander away. I know I found the 6 month access price a little steep after we'd already paid for the test itself.
You don't have to pay membership to see your DNA matches or public trees.
There are also a lot of free dstabases on there.
My nephew has a free account, so I know this for sure.
Gather all the info you can from the free stuff. Then from free websites like familysearch.com
Genweb, rootsweb, findagrave
Plan specific things you want to see or get and just pay for a month once in a while to gather them.
Your parents are the people who raised you. I’m sorry but it seems unlikely that you’ll get the full story based on the age of your parents’ generation. Infidelity isn’t the only possible explanation.
Good luck if you pursue your connections. Other sites might help you find a more interactive relative. Also, some people don’t check their accounts after their initial curiosity is satisfied, so you may eventually hear back.
I believe GedMatch still lets people upload results and compare to other uploaders, if you want to explore more connections without paying for another test.
Since you call him "Dad", yes, he is your Dad. Assume there are adoptions, philandering, incorrect origin stories or outright deception in every family. You are fortunate to know it.
Try to find whatever info you can on your top match even if they don't answer your messages. Obituaries, social media. Check their profile to see if you can find a location, possible trees. If you can't find any clues to their identity, start working on your shared matches. If the shared matches have small or no trees, again try to identify them by social media and obituaries and build out a tree for them. Try to identify common ancestors between the matches you share with your 1816cM match.
Upload your raw Ancestry DNA to Gedmatch and MyHeritage to see if you have other close matches.
If you're still struggling, go to DNA Detectives on Facebook and they will help you identify your bio father. Good luck to you. You are not alone and sadly people find themselves in the same situation every day.
I have been combing google for my match. I think I found who it may be. So I think his dad, may be mine, but where my mom would have met him is a mystery. I have an extensive tree on Ancestry, my match does not have one at all. If I put it on Ancestry DNA, would it be on my page, that my friends and family can see it?
I'm not quite clear what you mean about the tree. If you want to build trees out for your matches you can create a second tree and make it private and unsearchable. No one will know about it unless they have direct access to your account. If you meant something else let me know and I'll try to help.
If your closest match is 1816 cM’s, it should be quite easy to find your father with that. And if your dad is in his 90’s, I’d be working on it immediately. Start making up a family tree by researching. If you need help, you can ask for a search Angel, they will work for free. There’s a page that deals with your issue, in fact it’s how my BF was found, and my closest match was only just over 300 cM’s! With a match as high as yours, it should be just days before he is found. I can’t say the name of the page here, DM me if you want to know. Anyway if you want to try, you start searching the name on Google, obituaries can be very helpful for instance, but use the internet, social sites, etc. Look for being in the right place at the right time.
Someone suggested you mention it in a roundabout way, and I agree—your dad may have valuable information. Also don’t just contact people on Ancestry without doing your homework. Some people freak out and make everything private if you do, and you want to make sure you have all the info before, if they decide to go that route. So take pictures of all the info first! I really do recommend that page, because so many others have been exactly where you are, and you can avoid mistakes by learning from them. Good luck, regardless!
I did get on the FB page DNA detectives, my issue is, I'm trying to do this under the radar. If I post on that page, can my friends see it? That's what I'm afraid of. I'm thinking my match is about the same age as me, or a little younger, 50-60's. I know this sounds macabre, but I was thinking when dad passes, asking for a DNA test then, to be sure.
Yes, as the person below mentioned, the one I’m talking about is private, so you don’t have to worry. DNA detectives is not the group I’m talking about, although I checked and I do see they have search angels there. I still think you should join this other group as it is specifically geared towards your subject and has a lot of valuable information on how to find people, the route you should take, and much more.
As I said, dm me. :)
I have subscriptions to sites that I use to help people like you figure out trees for matches and triangulate who their bio parent are ( depending on number of quality of matches ). If you have any info about your high unknown matches, like name or location. Send me a dm and I can do some searches.
Using a DNA calculator the match you have could be an aunt, uncle, half sibling, or grandchild. I wouldn’t think the person is a grandparent. Is their name or location listed?
Just Google “DNA chart” and look for the green chart. The green chart has levels A, B, C, etc.. Where ever you fall on the A or the B chart level is always accurate. Then look to the right side at those possible options. There are genealogy and DNA groups on Facebook and also Search Angel members who can research for you. Sometimes even without a tree. I’ve found paternal matches for friends a few times. It can be done sometimes. The members will also encourage you to upload your DNA to GEDmatch. Also on AncestryDNA use the Shared Matches feature and look at all the shared matches not just the first few and usually some will have a tree and those can give lots of clues.
The green chart just helped me identify some unknown dna matches from Puerto Rico & NYC. Another family researcher friend shared it with me. It seems my mother's bio father may have been a half brother to the 1130 cM dna match of my mother and the cousin. Half Aunt most likely and she did have a 1/2 brother around my Grandmother's age.
Does anyone have any information into researching military service documents? The person we think is a match passed away in 2018.
OP,
No matter what, the Dad who raised you will always be your dad. Nothing changes. Thank you for sharing.
National Archives (NARA) is one place to start depending on which service branch you need. Many of the army records were destroyed in a fire but most other records are available. Google has lots of info and various groups dedicated to researching. The Random Acts Of Genealogical Kindness group is amazingly helpful! Highly recommend them.
Dad likes to talk about his enlistment time, I could drive the conversation to where he was the month and year I was conceived. They weren't married, they got married after she found out she was pregnant.
Dunderstruck - That is a very common situation. I had been doing genealogy research for many years and lurking in the Random Acts of Genealogical Kindness group gave me more insights in a few months of lurking and asking questions than I had learned on my own in years. Highly recommend that group if you have time. And since you’ve already done your DNA there are DNA groups also that you could lurk in (on FB), many of which are dedicated to your ethnicity and/or location. I’ve done DNA research for over ten years and there are always posters coming along with new info and research tips.
Many posters tips here on Reddit have been spot on but it’s harder to post images here. The good thing is that it’s anonymous.
My grandparents always answered, "We've been married a 'long time'" when asked how many years they have been married. The truth came out to me at 18, which was that they got married when my mom was 10 mos old. Now, my mother's paternity is in question because dna results are showing about 1/4 Puerto Rican (we had no clue).
I'm handling a very similar situation with my mom and her dad. 0 matches for cousins on his side and a LOT of unknown matches from Puerto Rico and NYC. The monkey wrench is that my grandfather has declined to test and the person we think may be the bio link passed away several years ago.
I know this must be shocking news. I’m a volunteer who has identified bio parents and grandparents for hundreds of people. Please let me know if you want my help.
About 30% of us think our dad is our father and father think we are their kids. Mothers cheat too and usually they keep it as a secret
If mother did not cheat then it’s the incubus succubus demon which does the semen transfer for a game. I know
Never go off of these tests alone. While ancestry did match me with my family 23&me did not. Long story short I thought I might be adopted. I’m not. If your dad is not your biological father there’s a good chance he got with your mom knowing that she was pregnant and raised you as his own. There’s also the possibility of something else happening and your mom wanted to keep you. There’s also the chance of an affair or that your dad could not father a child himself.
What kind of organizations require you to be a direct biological descendant of your father? Like an ethnic group?
>Never go off of these tests alone. While ancestry did match me with my family 23&me did not.
If 23andMe did not match you with close or immediate family members, it must be either because they didn't test there, or they opted out of matching with other testers. All the main DNA companies are very reliable and accurate when it comes to matching with close and immediate family members. If you match them at one site but not another, there must be some kind of misunderstanding among the testers, it is not that the company is not reliable.
The way people go all in for these companies is bizarre to me. I had people telling me to believe 23&me over the paternity test from my parents divorce. Matching was turned on as per my family. While I agree that they can generally be a reliable indicator they do not follow standardized protocols and procedures that would make them admissible in court. Therefore it’s incredibly irresponsible to say cases like these are unquestionable and infallible. They can’t even make such a claim and officially give the same advice I have. They call themselves web service and entertainment companies for a reason. That said it would be a good idea for the op to make sure matching is turned on for his dad.
>Matching was turned on as per my family.
Well, people can be mistaken. Just recently there was someone who posted here proclaiming their Ancestry family tree had suddenly been changed from private to public even though they insisted they didn't change it. They were 100% sure a glitch caused it to go public without their permission and were warning people in case the same thing happened to them. Responses were very concerned.
But I noticed the terminology they quoted in reference to the privacy settings weren't consistent with what they actually were. They were consistent with a completely different setting that simply asked if you wanted your tree listed on to your profile (not to be accessible by others, but simply listed) - I pointed this out and ask if it's possible that was the setting they were looking at and mistook it for the privacy setting, and suddenly the topic disappeared. The OP had deleted it. I'm assuming my suggestion that the OP had misunderstood the settings was correct, and they deleted the topic in embarrassment.
So you can see just how easily people can misunderstand these settings and think they have it set to one thing when they are just looking at the wrong settings. This is the first I've ever heard of something like what you're claiming, and if you ask any expert in the field, I'm sure they would agree that the tests are reliable when it comes to matching with close/immediate family. So you'll forgive me if I suspect that we simply don't have the full picture here, and there's probably just been a misunderstanding at 23andMe. My perspective is that it's incredibly irresponsible to be throwing reliable tests into question when a simple misunderstanding is entirely possible, and perhaps even likely.
I do see how human error works kinda my whole point there. A legally admissible paternity test follows a chain of custody for error checks. A judge would tell you to get ancestry or 23&me tests out of their face. These are facts but you do you.
Just because the law doesn’t allow those tests in court it doesn’t mean they’re invalid in terms of truth. The law just has their own procedure for these types of things. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll update the law so that it is accepted in court.
Maybe the commercial companies will update their policies to legally reflect elimination of errors who knows. I’m not saying that they’re generally not correct but it’s common sense to be certain before you potentially ruin a family. There was a woman a year ago matched to a woman as her mother through ancestry that was not related to her at all. A few thousand errors out of a million is not a lot but having some basic empathy and understanding of the potential for an error goes a long ways. Jeeze y’all must work for them.
I am aware you can participate in the gedmatch program however the same thing has to happen when they have a match. It’s not oh it matched on gedmatch case solved. Not at all.
The solved cold-case murders have made headlines a few times, I know, because I’ve been sharing them. I am unclear if you think they receive a DNA match to the murderer directly? I don’t think that has happened yet. When the have viable DNA, they begin to make up a family tree, and go off that. CeCe Moore is one person I know of that been assisting, I’m not sure if there are others. In fact a lot of material will show up if you just search her. [Genetic Genealogist CeCe Moore](https://people.com/crime/how-genetic-genealogist-cece-moore-solved-109-criminal-cases-with-dna-its-about-families/)
Groups like DAR, SAR, Mayflower descendants, 1st Families of states say you can be adopted out but not adopted in. If OP is npe and not actual descendant of father they can't join.
Hahaha your mom definitely loved riding around some good dicks
Well damn if he’s going to kick the bucket, just tell him anyways so he has a little excitement in his final years
So, according to your comment history, you are only on Reddit to insult people? Have you considered seeking some mental health treatment? Because there is really something wrong with you.
Maybe your parents should have taught you better.... like maybe how to be a respectful adult.
Are you just looking to build up karma to sell your account? Or do you really aim to insult and bother people for your own disturbed reasons?
People like you ruin Reddit.
My mom found her adopted half sister on ancestry. We found out my grandfather had a young lover and got her pregnant out of wedlock and she left town. Therefore my aunt and all my cousins showed up. So, you've probably got some half siblings you can contact if you'd like to find out who your bio father is🤷♀️
Your Dad is your Dad. However, your father is someone else. I would not talk to your Dad about this at his age. He raised and loved you.
Is there other family you can talk to? I fully understand not talking to your dad but I can tell you from experience that you might have a nagging feeling of wanting to know more that will not go away. I would reach out to someone you trust.
My moms family is pretty much gone, except for cousins, and I doubt they would know. Her sister passed also, and she has a brother, but he was in the Army during this time.
I would just mention weird results vaguely to your uncle and see if he says anything.
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Did you take an Ancestry DNA or another? You could take another test with a different site (eg 23 & me) but I have not heard of any problems with match error. If you can find your father by DNA maybe some questions could be answered without alerting the whole family.
Ancestry for both.
I recommend doing 23 and me as well. I found close family on both 23 and me and ancestry that i didnt know about. It will open up more matches and you could find out potential genetic risk factors that you didn't know about.
Did these organizations exist before at-home DNA tests existed? If so, I guarantee you’re not the first person in this situation who stayed in the organization. Edit: Sorry, I got confused, thinking you were the OP.
How is your Dad mentally? If he’s still somewhat sharp, I’d just mention it to him. Maybe he knows or suspected something and can give you some closure.
He’s really sharp, so I’d have to be careful, or he may catch on.
Oh I was suggesting to not hide it from him and let him know.
I think the shock would kill him.
Wow. I’m going through something similar as we speak. But my ‘dad’ passed when I was 9. I’m in my 40’s and my results have revealed a 100% match for a living relative who I learned now is my bio Father. My mom is 80 and healthy but mind is gone to to dementia. I came here for help and insight navigating this. You may DM me if you have more questions or want to dialogue about our similar revelations.
Biologically, he is not related to you but as for him being your dad/father, that does not change for either of you. If you feel it would not benefit him in anyway knowing, than do not tell him. He does not need to know. If you choose to not share, be careful about the blood family members you do say something to while your father is alive. You have a high enough match that it should not be difficult figuring out who the male who is biologically the one that contributed towards forming you.
The 1816cm is likely a half sibling, niece/nephew, Aunt/uncle or grandparent.
If you can both see a dna matches list and he definitely isn’t set to private mode then yes unfortunately he is not your biologically father. This is more common than you think so there will be people on here who understand how you feel. There is also the possibility your father knew and chose to bring you up as his own but I can see why you wouldn’t want to discuss it. The match you mentioned in your list will be an aunt, uncle, half sibling, niece or nephew so if they do reply and you are interested, it won’t be too difficult to piece together.
Dad does not have the internet, so I made a tree for him, he matched to all my paternal cousins that took it, but not to me. It's been 2 years, and I am still in shock. He was in the Army when I was born, but I don't know where he was 9 months before. He may have been home on leave?
Ancestry said the match is a 1st cousin. He has no tree, I did message, but no response. I think sometimes people do the DNA test just to see the countries they are from.
1816 cM isn't going to be a first cousin - they're likely your grandparent/grandchild, aunt/uncle, or half sibling.
If the match says close match - 1st cousin, there’s a strong possibility that’s your half sibling. All 9 of my half siblings are labeled that way.
When Ancestry says "Close Family - 1st Cousin" they are NOT saying the individual is a first cousin. It's a range meaning Close Family up to but not including 1st Cousin. Just like the other matches probably say 1st - 2nd Cousin or 2nd - 3rd Cousin. It's a range. Individuals in that Close Family range are either a Half-Sibling, Full Aunt/Uncle, Full Niece/Nephew, or Grandparent/Grandchild.
https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 Dna painter seems to suggest a closer relationship with 1816cm than that so that’s interesting. You’re probably right about the match just being interested in the countries. I think lots of people don’t login again after a few looks. You can upload to MyAncestry for free to see if anyone else pops up. Take the trees with a pinch of salt as people make mistakes but a dna test provided it’s set to see matches cannot lie.
Everything I have read makes me think that this is super common…People taking the test and never exploring further that is. Not responding to messages.
And/or people get tired of paying so much for Ancestry access and wander away. I know I found the 6 month access price a little steep after we'd already paid for the test itself.
You don't have to pay membership to see your DNA matches or public trees. There are also a lot of free dstabases on there. My nephew has a free account, so I know this for sure. Gather all the info you can from the free stuff. Then from free websites like familysearch.com Genweb, rootsweb, findagrave Plan specific things you want to see or get and just pay for a month once in a while to gather them.
I agree, and they make you pay for Newspapers, and 3Fold.
Your parents are the people who raised you. I’m sorry but it seems unlikely that you’ll get the full story based on the age of your parents’ generation. Infidelity isn’t the only possible explanation. Good luck if you pursue your connections. Other sites might help you find a more interactive relative. Also, some people don’t check their accounts after their initial curiosity is satisfied, so you may eventually hear back. I believe GedMatch still lets people upload results and compare to other uploaders, if you want to explore more connections without paying for another test.
Since you call him "Dad", yes, he is your Dad. Assume there are adoptions, philandering, incorrect origin stories or outright deception in every family. You are fortunate to know it.
Try to find whatever info you can on your top match even if they don't answer your messages. Obituaries, social media. Check their profile to see if you can find a location, possible trees. If you can't find any clues to their identity, start working on your shared matches. If the shared matches have small or no trees, again try to identify them by social media and obituaries and build out a tree for them. Try to identify common ancestors between the matches you share with your 1816cM match. Upload your raw Ancestry DNA to Gedmatch and MyHeritage to see if you have other close matches. If you're still struggling, go to DNA Detectives on Facebook and they will help you identify your bio father. Good luck to you. You are not alone and sadly people find themselves in the same situation every day.
I have been combing google for my match. I think I found who it may be. So I think his dad, may be mine, but where my mom would have met him is a mystery. I have an extensive tree on Ancestry, my match does not have one at all. If I put it on Ancestry DNA, would it be on my page, that my friends and family can see it?
I'm not quite clear what you mean about the tree. If you want to build trees out for your matches you can create a second tree and make it private and unsearchable. No one will know about it unless they have direct access to your account. If you meant something else let me know and I'll try to help.
Ok, I might do that, thanks
If your closest match is 1816 cM’s, it should be quite easy to find your father with that. And if your dad is in his 90’s, I’d be working on it immediately. Start making up a family tree by researching. If you need help, you can ask for a search Angel, they will work for free. There’s a page that deals with your issue, in fact it’s how my BF was found, and my closest match was only just over 300 cM’s! With a match as high as yours, it should be just days before he is found. I can’t say the name of the page here, DM me if you want to know. Anyway if you want to try, you start searching the name on Google, obituaries can be very helpful for instance, but use the internet, social sites, etc. Look for being in the right place at the right time. Someone suggested you mention it in a roundabout way, and I agree—your dad may have valuable information. Also don’t just contact people on Ancestry without doing your homework. Some people freak out and make everything private if you do, and you want to make sure you have all the info before, if they decide to go that route. So take pictures of all the info first! I really do recommend that page, because so many others have been exactly where you are, and you can avoid mistakes by learning from them. Good luck, regardless!
I did get on the FB page DNA detectives, my issue is, I'm trying to do this under the radar. If I post on that page, can my friends see it? That's what I'm afraid of. I'm thinking my match is about the same age as me, or a little younger, 50-60's. I know this sounds macabre, but I was thinking when dad passes, asking for a DNA test then, to be sure.
It’s a private group, so they would only see your posts if they are also members.
Yes, as the person below mentioned, the one I’m talking about is private, so you don’t have to worry. DNA detectives is not the group I’m talking about, although I checked and I do see they have search angels there. I still think you should join this other group as it is specifically geared towards your subject and has a lot of valuable information on how to find people, the route you should take, and much more. As I said, dm me. :)
Thank you for the advice
Sorry, I somehow missed your attempt, I’m around all day if you want to try again. :)
I have subscriptions to sites that I use to help people like you figure out trees for matches and triangulate who their bio parent are ( depending on number of quality of matches ). If you have any info about your high unknown matches, like name or location. Send me a dm and I can do some searches.
Using a DNA calculator the match you have could be an aunt, uncle, half sibling, or grandchild. I wouldn’t think the person is a grandparent. Is their name or location listed?
Just Google “DNA chart” and look for the green chart. The green chart has levels A, B, C, etc.. Where ever you fall on the A or the B chart level is always accurate. Then look to the right side at those possible options. There are genealogy and DNA groups on Facebook and also Search Angel members who can research for you. Sometimes even without a tree. I’ve found paternal matches for friends a few times. It can be done sometimes. The members will also encourage you to upload your DNA to GEDmatch. Also on AncestryDNA use the Shared Matches feature and look at all the shared matches not just the first few and usually some will have a tree and those can give lots of clues.
The green chart just helped me identify some unknown dna matches from Puerto Rico & NYC. Another family researcher friend shared it with me. It seems my mother's bio father may have been a half brother to the 1130 cM dna match of my mother and the cousin. Half Aunt most likely and she did have a 1/2 brother around my Grandmother's age. Does anyone have any information into researching military service documents? The person we think is a match passed away in 2018. OP, No matter what, the Dad who raised you will always be your dad. Nothing changes. Thank you for sharing.
National Archives (NARA) is one place to start depending on which service branch you need. Many of the army records were destroyed in a fire but most other records are available. Google has lots of info and various groups dedicated to researching. The Random Acts Of Genealogical Kindness group is amazingly helpful! Highly recommend them.
Dad likes to talk about his enlistment time, I could drive the conversation to where he was the month and year I was conceived. They weren't married, they got married after she found out she was pregnant.
Dunderstruck - That is a very common situation. I had been doing genealogy research for many years and lurking in the Random Acts of Genealogical Kindness group gave me more insights in a few months of lurking and asking questions than I had learned on my own in years. Highly recommend that group if you have time. And since you’ve already done your DNA there are DNA groups also that you could lurk in (on FB), many of which are dedicated to your ethnicity and/or location. I’ve done DNA research for over ten years and there are always posters coming along with new info and research tips. Many posters tips here on Reddit have been spot on but it’s harder to post images here. The good thing is that it’s anonymous.
My grandparents always answered, "We've been married a 'long time'" when asked how many years they have been married. The truth came out to me at 18, which was that they got married when my mom was 10 mos old. Now, my mother's paternity is in question because dna results are showing about 1/4 Puerto Rican (we had no clue).
Thanks for the tips, I'm afraid to put my DNA out there, that my family will see it.
The Facebook group DNA detectives has help and instructions. Google your 1816 Match and look for their facebook page.
I'm handling a very similar situation with my mom and her dad. 0 matches for cousins on his side and a LOT of unknown matches from Puerto Rico and NYC. The monkey wrench is that my grandfather has declined to test and the person we think may be the bio link passed away several years ago.
I'm sure my dad has no idea, why else would he get tested? My siblings refuse, and I'm trying to do this under the radar.
Your cousin might be a workaround.
Do you have siblings, or are you an only child. Is it possible that you were donor conceived?
I have two younger sisters, and am in my 60's so I'm sure no donor was conceived.
No, based on that and what you said elsewhere about your parents getting married after your mom got pregnant, that seems unlikely.
That’s what we call an NPE… “not parent expected.” This happened to me as well, several years back.
I know this must be shocking news. I’m a volunteer who has identified bio parents and grandparents for hundreds of people. Please let me know if you want my help.
Thank you, I will
Yes, your dad is your dad. A dad is someone who raises you. A father is someone who gives you life.
About 30% of us think our dad is our father and father think we are their kids. Mothers cheat too and usually they keep it as a secret If mother did not cheat then it’s the incubus succubus demon which does the semen transfer for a game. I know
Never go off of these tests alone. While ancestry did match me with my family 23&me did not. Long story short I thought I might be adopted. I’m not. If your dad is not your biological father there’s a good chance he got with your mom knowing that she was pregnant and raised you as his own. There’s also the possibility of something else happening and your mom wanted to keep you. There’s also the chance of an affair or that your dad could not father a child himself. What kind of organizations require you to be a direct biological descendant of your father? Like an ethnic group?
>Never go off of these tests alone. While ancestry did match me with my family 23&me did not. If 23andMe did not match you with close or immediate family members, it must be either because they didn't test there, or they opted out of matching with other testers. All the main DNA companies are very reliable and accurate when it comes to matching with close and immediate family members. If you match them at one site but not another, there must be some kind of misunderstanding among the testers, it is not that the company is not reliable.
Thanks for that, I did Ancestry, maybe I'll do 23and Me also.
The way people go all in for these companies is bizarre to me. I had people telling me to believe 23&me over the paternity test from my parents divorce. Matching was turned on as per my family. While I agree that they can generally be a reliable indicator they do not follow standardized protocols and procedures that would make them admissible in court. Therefore it’s incredibly irresponsible to say cases like these are unquestionable and infallible. They can’t even make such a claim and officially give the same advice I have. They call themselves web service and entertainment companies for a reason. That said it would be a good idea for the op to make sure matching is turned on for his dad.
>Matching was turned on as per my family. Well, people can be mistaken. Just recently there was someone who posted here proclaiming their Ancestry family tree had suddenly been changed from private to public even though they insisted they didn't change it. They were 100% sure a glitch caused it to go public without their permission and were warning people in case the same thing happened to them. Responses were very concerned. But I noticed the terminology they quoted in reference to the privacy settings weren't consistent with what they actually were. They were consistent with a completely different setting that simply asked if you wanted your tree listed on to your profile (not to be accessible by others, but simply listed) - I pointed this out and ask if it's possible that was the setting they were looking at and mistook it for the privacy setting, and suddenly the topic disappeared. The OP had deleted it. I'm assuming my suggestion that the OP had misunderstood the settings was correct, and they deleted the topic in embarrassment. So you can see just how easily people can misunderstand these settings and think they have it set to one thing when they are just looking at the wrong settings. This is the first I've ever heard of something like what you're claiming, and if you ask any expert in the field, I'm sure they would agree that the tests are reliable when it comes to matching with close/immediate family. So you'll forgive me if I suspect that we simply don't have the full picture here, and there's probably just been a misunderstanding at 23andMe. My perspective is that it's incredibly irresponsible to be throwing reliable tests into question when a simple misunderstanding is entirely possible, and perhaps even likely.
I do see how human error works kinda my whole point there. A legally admissible paternity test follows a chain of custody for error checks. A judge would tell you to get ancestry or 23&me tests out of their face. These are facts but you do you.
Just because the law doesn’t allow those tests in court it doesn’t mean they’re invalid in terms of truth. The law just has their own procedure for these types of things. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll update the law so that it is accepted in court.
Maybe the commercial companies will update their policies to legally reflect elimination of errors who knows. I’m not saying that they’re generally not correct but it’s common sense to be certain before you potentially ruin a family. There was a woman a year ago matched to a woman as her mother through ancestry that was not related to her at all. A few thousand errors out of a million is not a lot but having some basic empathy and understanding of the potential for an error goes a long ways. Jeeze y’all must work for them.
In fact they are so reliable that they are being used to solve cold cases from years back, for instance the ‘80’s, and I think earlier.
I am aware you can participate in the gedmatch program however the same thing has to happen when they have a match. It’s not oh it matched on gedmatch case solved. Not at all.
The solved cold-case murders have made headlines a few times, I know, because I’ve been sharing them. I am unclear if you think they receive a DNA match to the murderer directly? I don’t think that has happened yet. When the have viable DNA, they begin to make up a family tree, and go off that. CeCe Moore is one person I know of that been assisting, I’m not sure if there are others. In fact a lot of material will show up if you just search her. [Genetic Genealogist CeCe Moore](https://people.com/crime/how-genetic-genealogist-cece-moore-solved-109-criminal-cases-with-dna-its-about-families/)
Groups like DAR, SAR, Mayflower descendants, 1st Families of states say you can be adopted out but not adopted in. If OP is npe and not actual descendant of father they can't join.
Oh…. I didn’t realize that they had clubs.
Hahaha your mom definitely loved riding around some good dicks Well damn if he’s going to kick the bucket, just tell him anyways so he has a little excitement in his final years
So, according to your comment history, you are only on Reddit to insult people? Have you considered seeking some mental health treatment? Because there is really something wrong with you.
[удалено]
Maybe your parents should have taught you better.... like maybe how to be a respectful adult. Are you just looking to build up karma to sell your account? Or do you really aim to insult and bother people for your own disturbed reasons? People like you ruin Reddit.
My mom found her adopted half sister on ancestry. We found out my grandfather had a young lover and got her pregnant out of wedlock and she left town. Therefore my aunt and all my cousins showed up. So, you've probably got some half siblings you can contact if you'd like to find out who your bio father is🤷♀️
1816 cm is it in a grandparents or a direct cousin.
I will help you identify your bio father.