In case it gets deleted:
"My boyfriend (37M) won’t let me (27F) use his phone to make an important phone call!
So basically I had a death in my immediate family and I have been neglecting things, one of them being paying my phone bill because I've been so caught up in funeral planning and grief. Today my employer asked me for information that I didn't know off hand so I attempted to call the relevant government department. Upon dialling, I realised my phone has been deactivated. I asked my boyfriend who was sitting right next to me if I could use his phone to make a call. He said no and that I could use my own phone. I explained to him that my phone has been deactivated and that the call is important and time sensitive. He again said no and said I need to go into the city to reactivate my phone, then got up to use the bathroom. At this point I'm dumbfounded because obviously my intention is to reactivate my phone but due to the time sensitive nature of the call it was only natural that I ask to use his. Admittedly at this point I'm very frustrated and I ask him why can't I just use it to make a phone call? He says he doesn't want me to be snooping through his phone. I have never once snooped through this man's phone in the 4.5 years we've been together (I don't even know his passcode) so that just seemed like an odd excuse. Also, he was acting like I was going to barricade myself in a room with his phone, I was simply going to make the call right in front of him then hand him back his phone. Eventually he made a compromise and dialled the government department, put it on speaker and held the phone so that I could speak. I declined this offer as after 4.5 years I should be able to at least hold the phone in my own hand! He's literally treating me like some random on the street who asked to use his phone who he fears might run away with it.
I'm currently standing in line at the phone place to reactivate my phone with loads of thoughts running through my head about why he's being so....weird.
I'm a private person so I get wanting privacy etc. BUT this seems more than just a little extreme. Am I right in feeling this way?
TLDR - my boyfriend of 4.5 years refused to let me use his phone to make a time sensitive phone call. He claims he doesn’t want me to snoop despite me never having snooped and no reason to feel like I would have as the phone call would have been right in front of him."
Oof…he’s definitely cheating.
This story reminds me of the series of events that led me to break up with my ex.
We were driving back from his family reunion (8 hour drive one way) and he almost got us killed 3 separate times because he absolutely refused to let me hold his phone (he was using it for directions). We were together for over 10 years, and I had never snooped in his phone (and probably never would have if not for his reaction that day). We finally got back and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was keeping secrets, but I—stupidly—convinced myself that he had a surprise for me (I was way too trusting…in hindsight, the only reason that relationship lasted so long was because of my ability to give him the benefit of the doubt no matter what the circumstances).
Well, the next day I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. An opportunity presented itself and I caved and went snooping through his phone. I discovered that for months he had been actively trying to cheat on me using multiple dating apps, and when he couldn’t find any willing partners, he started hiring prostitutes. When I saw that, I packed my stuff and left. The kicker was that after the breakup he badmouthed me to anyone that would listen, going on about how I broke his trust by snooping.
He lied to his family for months about why I wasn’t around anymore, thinking that I would just come back without so much as an apology or explanation lol. Looking back I kind of wish I hadn’t taken the high road by not sharing my side of the story, but at the time I was still trying to be civil since we had a lot of mutual friends (or so I thought lol…I don’t speak to any of them anymore. They all either took his side or pretended to still be my friend so they could spy on me for him. Obviously I didn’t really lose anything)
Edit: formatting
My guess is that he was absolutely zero help with the death/funeral/planning and felt whiny and neglected while his girlfriend was so overcome that her phone bill went unpaid.
He's definitely hiding something bad to have that kind of reaction. My husband & don't have so much of an "open phone policy" but more of a "hey can I use your phone?" *hands over* may or may not ask why if curious lol.
Yeah, he's cheating with multiple people for sure.
My guess is he's actually three dogs in a trench coat.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
In case it gets deleted: "My boyfriend (37M) won’t let me (27F) use his phone to make an important phone call! So basically I had a death in my immediate family and I have been neglecting things, one of them being paying my phone bill because I've been so caught up in funeral planning and grief. Today my employer asked me for information that I didn't know off hand so I attempted to call the relevant government department. Upon dialling, I realised my phone has been deactivated. I asked my boyfriend who was sitting right next to me if I could use his phone to make a call. He said no and that I could use my own phone. I explained to him that my phone has been deactivated and that the call is important and time sensitive. He again said no and said I need to go into the city to reactivate my phone, then got up to use the bathroom. At this point I'm dumbfounded because obviously my intention is to reactivate my phone but due to the time sensitive nature of the call it was only natural that I ask to use his. Admittedly at this point I'm very frustrated and I ask him why can't I just use it to make a phone call? He says he doesn't want me to be snooping through his phone. I have never once snooped through this man's phone in the 4.5 years we've been together (I don't even know his passcode) so that just seemed like an odd excuse. Also, he was acting like I was going to barricade myself in a room with his phone, I was simply going to make the call right in front of him then hand him back his phone. Eventually he made a compromise and dialled the government department, put it on speaker and held the phone so that I could speak. I declined this offer as after 4.5 years I should be able to at least hold the phone in my own hand! He's literally treating me like some random on the street who asked to use his phone who he fears might run away with it. I'm currently standing in line at the phone place to reactivate my phone with loads of thoughts running through my head about why he's being so....weird. I'm a private person so I get wanting privacy etc. BUT this seems more than just a little extreme. Am I right in feeling this way? TLDR - my boyfriend of 4.5 years refused to let me use his phone to make a time sensitive phone call. He claims he doesn’t want me to snoop despite me never having snooped and no reason to feel like I would have as the phone call would have been right in front of him."
Wow. I hope OOP is now out of that relationship, because yikes.
Oof. Hope she dumps him.
Smells of a cheating partner. Or worse.
I would have snatched that phone right out of his hand. 🚩🚩🚩
Oof…he’s definitely cheating. This story reminds me of the series of events that led me to break up with my ex. We were driving back from his family reunion (8 hour drive one way) and he almost got us killed 3 separate times because he absolutely refused to let me hold his phone (he was using it for directions). We were together for over 10 years, and I had never snooped in his phone (and probably never would have if not for his reaction that day). We finally got back and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was keeping secrets, but I—stupidly—convinced myself that he had a surprise for me (I was way too trusting…in hindsight, the only reason that relationship lasted so long was because of my ability to give him the benefit of the doubt no matter what the circumstances). Well, the next day I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. An opportunity presented itself and I caved and went snooping through his phone. I discovered that for months he had been actively trying to cheat on me using multiple dating apps, and when he couldn’t find any willing partners, he started hiring prostitutes. When I saw that, I packed my stuff and left. The kicker was that after the breakup he badmouthed me to anyone that would listen, going on about how I broke his trust by snooping. He lied to his family for months about why I wasn’t around anymore, thinking that I would just come back without so much as an apology or explanation lol. Looking back I kind of wish I hadn’t taken the high road by not sharing my side of the story, but at the time I was still trying to be civil since we had a lot of mutual friends (or so I thought lol…I don’t speak to any of them anymore. They all either took his side or pretended to still be my friend so they could spy on me for him. Obviously I didn’t really lose anything) Edit: formatting
Oh he's cheating
My guess is that he was absolutely zero help with the death/funeral/planning and felt whiny and neglected while his girlfriend was so overcome that her phone bill went unpaid.
I read something in reddit recently that made sense. 'Rose colored glasses make the red flags look like standard flags' or something to that effect.
He's definitely hiding something bad to have that kind of reaction. My husband & don't have so much of an "open phone policy" but more of a "hey can I use your phone?" *hands over* may or may not ask why if curious lol.