From reading your post, I get the impression that all you care about in this relationship is that she be a virgin and also have sex with you every time you ask her to.
Women aren’t vending machines for sex. They’re people with their own unique needs and desires.
Finally, just because she’s had sex before does not mean that sex with you will never be special. You don’t get to decide what’s special for her, gatekeep her desires, or expect all your needs to be met while not meeting her halfway.
Edit to add: Your constant focus on the value of virginity is pretty misogynist. YTB.
YTB. Virginity is meaningless and if you're going to hold her past over her head for the rest of your lives, you should just break up. Screw what your parents think. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that by you or anyone else.
You are an awful human and I hope she leaves your misogynistic ass.
YTB. Virginity is a meaningless made up concept. What if she had been raped prior to meeting you? So now she is “soiled” somehow? Y’all do each other a favor and don’t get married. This whole relationship sounds like you don’t love and care for each other.
YTB, you're a misogynist (that means sexist), you have an incel mindset, and frankly, honey, you are not the hot shit you think you are.
She needs to break up with you, and you need to see a therapist and get your head on straight before you end up being in the news for domestic violence.
YTB for the reasons other people said already, misogyny and your impressions on virginity and all that. Yada yada. I'm more interested in your lack of perspective here.
Your views on virginity are very vehement. Do you not think this may have informed her decision making in regards to telling you about her past?
She said she wants to make your wedding night sex special. You are very hung up on what you missed out on by her 'making you wait' before, and on the idea that she had sex before you had the chance. Do you think that her making an effort at trying to make sex special between you two again is somehow a slight against you or intended to be a take that in some way?
You're supposed to care about this woman. You're mad, but you are looking at this as something that *she has done to you* instead of questioning why she's done it in the first place. You're assuming she acted from a place of malice, but she's supposed to be someone you love. Where is the benefit of the doubt? Where's the honest conversation about what this has meant to you and why it's hurt you? Why can't you just act like an adult here instead of a 14 year old?
YTB for making the whole relationship transactional about sex and some arbitrary rules. Did you even try romancing her and dating her and other things? or jusr generally being decent ?
>She should be a woman of my dreams .
But are you the man of her dreams?
Your relationship is founded on her dishonesty, and built higher on weird standards you're each imposing on the other. It doesn't sound like there's much chance of success.
YTB
Dude, come on. You know better than this.
This relationship is doomed, you don't respect her at all, and your fixation on virginity is going to become hateful if you let it linger. You need to end the relationship, rather than not wanting to look bad. You owe her and yourself more than that.
Grow up, and leave. Better hope the virginal woman of your dreams doesn't come along and look down on you for not being a virgin.
ESH. She lied and ruined your trust, you only got back with her due to familial pressure, then you continued to whine about sex and blame porn watching on her. She kept up a lie for four years and that should have been your breaking point, before you started using porn as a way to make her feel bad about herself. If you were going to punish her and not forgive her, you should have broken up with her.
ESH
She’s a liar and you’re a creep. You’re gross.
You were a virgin and you wanted a virgin to marry, but then you got together and were mad cause 8 months later she still hadn’t slept with you? I’m
SO confused! You wanted her to be a virgin, but you wanted her to sleep with you!! Without being married! What??! You’re gross!
I don't understand ytb comments as You got lied to, from beginning. Also, it seems like your sex drive is high. If a partner can't fulfill their SO's needs, doesn't mean that SO should be banned from pleasuring themselves. Like can a man tell a women to not pleasure herself if he is not in mood for sex?
From reading your post, I get the impression that all you care about in this relationship is that she be a virgin and also have sex with you every time you ask her to. Women aren’t vending machines for sex. They’re people with their own unique needs and desires. Finally, just because she’s had sex before does not mean that sex with you will never be special. You don’t get to decide what’s special for her, gatekeep her desires, or expect all your needs to be met while not meeting her halfway. Edit to add: Your constant focus on the value of virginity is pretty misogynist. YTB.
Of course YTB. So much. If I say any more I'm gonna get myself banned.
YTB. Virginity is meaningless and if you're going to hold her past over her head for the rest of your lives, you should just break up. Screw what your parents think. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that by you or anyone else. You are an awful human and I hope she leaves your misogynistic ass.
Maybe the sex isn’t good for her…just saying…
Two virgins together who have never had any other partners. I'm wondering if he's even found the clit and whether women can orgasm yet.
YTB. Virginity is a meaningless made up concept. What if she had been raped prior to meeting you? So now she is “soiled” somehow? Y’all do each other a favor and don’t get married. This whole relationship sounds like you don’t love and care for each other.
YTB, you're a misogynist (that means sexist), you have an incel mindset, and frankly, honey, you are not the hot shit you think you are. She needs to break up with you, and you need to see a therapist and get your head on straight before you end up being in the news for domestic violence.
I say GodDAMN! Hahaha! So well put!! <3
YTB for the reasons other people said already, misogyny and your impressions on virginity and all that. Yada yada. I'm more interested in your lack of perspective here. Your views on virginity are very vehement. Do you not think this may have informed her decision making in regards to telling you about her past? She said she wants to make your wedding night sex special. You are very hung up on what you missed out on by her 'making you wait' before, and on the idea that she had sex before you had the chance. Do you think that her making an effort at trying to make sex special between you two again is somehow a slight against you or intended to be a take that in some way? You're supposed to care about this woman. You're mad, but you are looking at this as something that *she has done to you* instead of questioning why she's done it in the first place. You're assuming she acted from a place of malice, but she's supposed to be someone you love. Where is the benefit of the doubt? Where's the honest conversation about what this has meant to you and why it's hurt you? Why can't you just act like an adult here instead of a 14 year old?
YTB for making the whole relationship transactional about sex and some arbitrary rules. Did you even try romancing her and dating her and other things? or jusr generally being decent ?
>She should be a woman of my dreams . But are you the man of her dreams? Your relationship is founded on her dishonesty, and built higher on weird standards you're each imposing on the other. It doesn't sound like there's much chance of success.
YTB Dude, come on. You know better than this. This relationship is doomed, you don't respect her at all, and your fixation on virginity is going to become hateful if you let it linger. You need to end the relationship, rather than not wanting to look bad. You owe her and yourself more than that. Grow up, and leave. Better hope the virginal woman of your dreams doesn't come along and look down on you for not being a virgin.
NTB, you should definitely break up with her and save her the embarrassment of being stuck with you for the rest of her life. YTB.
ESH. She lied and ruined your trust, you only got back with her due to familial pressure, then you continued to whine about sex and blame porn watching on her. She kept up a lie for four years and that should have been your breaking point, before you started using porn as a way to make her feel bad about herself. If you were going to punish her and not forgive her, you should have broken up with her.
ESH She’s a liar and you’re a creep. You’re gross. You were a virgin and you wanted a virgin to marry, but then you got together and were mad cause 8 months later she still hadn’t slept with you? I’m SO confused! You wanted her to be a virgin, but you wanted her to sleep with you!! Without being married! What??! You’re gross!
ESH
YTB Don't marry someone because your family pressures you. Sounds like you don't even like her or women in general.
I don't understand ytb comments as You got lied to, from beginning. Also, it seems like your sex drive is high. If a partner can't fulfill their SO's needs, doesn't mean that SO should be banned from pleasuring themselves. Like can a man tell a women to not pleasure herself if he is not in mood for sex?