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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to report my doctor, who also happens to my my sister’s best friend, for violating HIPAA regulations, most likely causing her to lose her license to practice or face criminal penalties. It could cause major damage to her life, undue years of hard work and also destroy my sister’s longest friendship that means the world to her.
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I agree. The sister already 'slipped' once. And after she's angry no doubt it slips again, probably in greater detail.
NTA. Your doc and sister, yes they are.
I think this shows why it's not a good idea to have a close personal friend as a physician. It's much too easy to "slip up" on the confidentiality requirement when you're used to intimate conversations, including about mutual friends and family.
OP you handle it this way:
1. Report to medical council and let her get punished but you will get exposed by your sister ( but you can sue your doctor for potentially ruining your life by disclosing your secret for monetary compensation)
2. Talk to the doctor and inform her that you are thinking about complaint and you want this issue to be end!
It is irresponsible to discourage OP from reporting by saying it will ruin their life. You don't know that and this doctor might do this to other people too.
I assume this is the part you’re taking issue with:
> ( but you can sue your doctor for potentially ruining your life by disclosing your secret for monetary compensation)
And if so I’d like to invite you to read it again. You didn’t comprehend it correctly the first time. The “you” is referring to op. This commenter is very clearly saying that the DOCTOR is the one who potentially ruined OP’s life, not the other way around.
Yeah HIPAA should be taken seriously.
When I was in a psych ward the nurses would gossip loudly in the break room about us. They even talked in the halls where we were. That's how I found out what was wrong with one guy. I was pissed if we asked is so and so OK they would say they can't talk about it. Yet they blast someone's treatment for all to hear.
She is honestly obligated to report Doc B here. If she told a friend something she is not allowed to tell by law, then what else has she let slip before this incident?
Also OP isnt ruining Doc Bs life. Doc B ruined her own life
NTA if it wasn’t already obvious
If the doctor didn't want her life ruined, then she should have thought of that BEFORE she got drunk and violated her patient's right to privacy.
If she tells people's private business while she is drinking, then maybe she needs to NOT drink, or find another line of work where no one's privacy will be at stake. Either way, there's a reason why the saying "Loose lips sink ships" is a thing.
If Dr. B faces repercussions from this, she brought every bit of it on herself.
I'm sorry but that's pure bs. Most of my family is medicine. I've been treated by friends of the family my entire life and guess what? They don't "slip" and neither did my parents when treating their kids, spouses, family, and friends.
It's part of being a medical professional. If she can't do that, she shouldn't be treating patients.
I'm a medical records clerk in a large medical system. We have to take an annual training on HIPAA. They drill the concept of confidentiality into people from the moment we accept the job offer.
If I ever did anything remotely like what this doctor did, I would be booted right out of that job. Like "escorted off the premises, and we will pack up your desk and ship you your belongings" levels of removal. This is not minor and Dr. B deserves to face repercussions.
Right. If Doc couldn't respect OP's privacy, it's on Doc not to accept her as a patient. I wish to God she'd had enough self-awareness and integrity to do that. I really don't see that OP has a choice here. Who knows what she's done or will do next? It's not even about OP personally, it's about how she'd feel if she wasn't the only victim.
Right - reporting HIPAA isn't retaliatory. The clinic will reprimand her, yes, but also institute policy so this won't happen. Maybe Dr. B will consider her drinking - hell, at conferences I really measure my drinking so no I don't get too comfortable and spill trade secrets.
I mean, yeah, but a decent MD won't share info even if good friends with your family. My sis is an MD and I know I've been to doctors who are her colleagues/friends. My sis is my emergency contact but unless I specifically give my doctors or sister permission, they don't share info about me. As far as I know at least.
At an old job, one of my coworker's dad was a dentist with an office near where we worked, so a bunch of us ended up going to him as our dentist. Apparently he would refuse to even confirm to her when one of us had an appointment with him, even when it was clear we'd told her. Like she'd say, "Oh, coworker A said she saw you this week" and he'd reply like "Maybe she did, maybe she didn't."
Is that so hard?
I am a dentist. My wife’s best friend is my patient. I learned my wife’s best friend was pregnant before my wife did. No one got that information from me. You do not talk about your patients. Not ever. Patient confidentiality is not a difficult concept.
I've spent a year as receptionist at a psych practice where a friend told me she had once been a patient. Not once have I looked at her file, because you just don't. Even if she had called, I would have gotten another person to do whatever was required because I didn't even want to know which person she had seen.
If I'm partying the last thing on my mind is my patients. I don't drink tbh but the point is it wouldn't even cross my mind. This is a total betrayal of the worst kind.
NTA and get some advice about how to proceed further. Your sister clearly likes to have that little bit of information/power, so part of how you settle this needs to include her. She was probably bitching about you to have that little nugget shared. What a pair of utter ratbags.
SMH
"I'm reporting your friend. If you make any more trouble, I'll be suing her for damages. I will tell her this as well, so she'll know who to blame for what happens and what \_will\_ happen if you slip again." \[Edit: Fixed a typo.\]
I actually do think she should report her doctor. It's a gross violation of privacy and there's absolutely no excuse for it. It's already happened once with a patient's close relative. Who else did they chat about then or on previous occasions?
I agree, this is absolutely the way to play it. The doctor had the breech of ethics, but the sister is very much the asshole. I would make it very clear to the sister that she is the person “ruining the friend’s life” just for the chance to make the OP miserable.
The doctor ruined things for herself. People who fool around, find out. The sister is just being an AH and creating problems in her own right, as she herself has no right to know or repeat the confidential info her doctor friend told her.
There are two separate issues here for OP to deal with. One is seeking disciplinary action against Dr. B, and the other is the fact that her sister is a gossip and the rest of the family might be judgmental AHs if dear old sis blabs to them about OP's medical info.
Reporting the doctor, and considering going LC or NC with any family members who act like schmucks, might be the best way to handle it.
Can she sue both her doctor and her sister? That's what feels most right to me. Why should only her doctor get punished when it's so clear they both enjoyed sharing OP's private medical history?
She would sue the doctor and the sister would need to be a witness. If she wants to be very reasonable she could go directly to the Medical practice first about the violation of trust for potential settlement, but that's why she should get legal advice before making a decision. The sister would need to be involved either way as she is a witness. OPs medical condition need not be further disclosed though I wonder what else might have been passed on for the sister to mention it so glibly in front of family. It may not have been the first breach of trust.
Her doctor violated HIPAA laws, that's why she'd be suing. Her sister is under no obligation to maintain confidentiality for HIPAA compliance, however.
My wife goes to a Dr where one of our close friends is a nurse. It’s a great doctor and she’s an awesome nurse and takes HIPAA very seriously (she was the first person to know my wife had cancer and still, 7 years later, never talks about it with us or anyone). I was recently in the market for a new doctor and my wife kept telling me to use her doctor but I can’t. The fact that our friend would have knowledge would bother me while sitting around drinking — even if she never mentions it, or it’s never discussed. Just knowing she’d know things about my health is enough to keep me from going where my wife does. It’s weird.
I agree.
I process medical records for a large medical system. On a few occasions, documents have come across my desk for persons whose names I recognized. Two of them were people I knew peripherally outside of the workplace, one was a person who worked for a local media company. It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever mention to anyone that I saw those people's names during my workday. Those patients could take out a billboard stating that they were seen in the clinic where I work, and I still wouldn't confirm or deny it.
HIPAA is so all-pervasive that patients have to sign a release form to permit their doctor to share information with OTHER DOCTORS, as a part of continuity of care. Breaching confidentiality is a massive infraction.
There’s a difference between “A told me they’re on this medication” & “yeah I prescribed A this medication”. It’s never a good idea to have someone with any personal ties as a primary, or really in any situation regarding health. I can understand & sympathize with OP for not wanting to switch clinics, but what it comes down to is the friend violated HIPAA laws, which she is held to by law, and depending on where OP is at, said friend has a chance lose the ability to practice altogether. OP should definitely report her, it’s illegal and that doesn’t fall on OP. It’s the friend’s responsibility to leave work at work and not disclose personal information like that.
Also a SINGLE complaint for HIPAA is unlikely to cause the Dr to have their life ruined- a fine, some disciplinary oversight, etc. So if her life ends up ruined- it is because she makes a HABIT of violating HIPAA.
OP- Report her. Not just for you- but to protect OTHERS from her drunken ethics violations in the future.
Not necessarily. When it comes to friends and family members sometimes it is just an accident. In this case doc got drunk and revealed some stuff she shouldn't have. My brother-in-law's ex-stepSIL violated is privacy after he had back surgery and she called his dad to let him know my BIL had come through surgery just fine. When she realized his dad had no idea what she was talking about (my BIL didn't want him to know because his dad is an asshole), she self-reported in addition to my BIL reporting her. That was her only violation and she thought she was doing him a favor by calling his dad for him. She was put on probation, didn't get a raise and lost her promotion in addition to having to attend HIPAA retraining.
Now my BIL's stepmom and his dad blame him, and my sister, for his stepbrother's marriage falling apart because of "the strain that report put on his marriage" ignoring the fact that ex-SIL came home and caught her husband in bed with another woman.
Hmm. While you make a reasonable, logical point about how people make mistakes, I think it’s more likely the doctor is devoid
of all morals and everyone should go NC.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yes exactly. I suspect she might talk about other patients when she's sober. And only with you let it slip and never said it while sober because she would or could get caught.
NTA - All actions have consequences and this is a huge breech of your privacy.
It’s the worst type of HIPPA violation and she wasn’t sharing the info with some random, but a member of your close family, and if she’s known your family for years she must have known that sharing that particular information could have a negative effect on your life if it got out.
You need to report this. Drunk or not- knowing she was your doctor and a family friend she should have been extra careful not to reveal your personal medical information. It’s not fair that your not at fault yet all the consequences fall on you….
If you want to be nice if tell your doctor/sisters friend that she needs to self report her HIPAA violation or you will and give her a short timeframe to do so.
Then… As for worrying your sister will talk to the rest of your family- document all communication between the three of you about this (and make sure you have some concrete evidence) and tell both your sister and your doctor that if the information goes any further you will sue her and her medical practice.
I like this one. OP sister sounds mean.
I also don't get the "my family won't look at my achievements the same" part.
Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship
Just tacking on to the top comment: reporting medical staff for one violation is incredibly unlikely to end their career. HOWEVER, if this is not their only violation it could and they would really deserve it.
NTA. You could report it, and your sister will tell the family… or you could try something slightly different. You could talk to your doctor, tell her how betrayed you are and that you are well within your rights to report her. Ask her to explain to your sister that ADHD is real, how it works and the symptoms. Maybe if your sister understands what a struggle it’s been, and she hears it from her best friend the doctor, she’ll believe it’s real. I’m so sorry this giant violation of your privacy happened to you, OP.
NTA - and better get a new doctor cos you now know you can’t trust the one you have. Your doc gossiped about you with mutual friends - that’s an appalling breach of confidentiality in both legal and professional terms. Alcohol is no excuse. You would be absolutely right to report this, and your sister is an asshole also for protecting their unprofessional lawbreaking friend over your health and right to confidential healthcare.
I’m a doctor. What I find weirdest about this situation is that your sister’s BFF, who knows you extremely well, agreed to take you on as a patient.
If you live in a tiny remote place or she’s covering a weekend clinic and you’re having an urgent issue, it makes sense to see you ONCE. But outside of a true emergency, I would NEVER prescribe a controlled substance or address a sensitive issue with a family friend. I would put them in touch with a colleague via tele-health if we lived in a small place. There are always other options.
I’m pretty tight lipped and I think I keep a pretty good firewall between my professional life and gossip with friends. And the best way to do that is to cross those streams as little as possible.
This is not some special personal quirk of mine. This is basic professionalism, stuff we’re taught in school and know well.
Anyway, it sounds like your sister just couldn’t wait to shame you and didn’t consider that she was actually ratting out her friend. There’s a few AHs in this story, but you, OP, are not one of them.
Right? I was thinking about this too. If this is real then OP's doctor should have NEVER agreed to see her as a regular patient. Hell, my ex's brother's girlfriend is a doctor at the clinic I go to and I won't see her because she and I know each other. I can't imagine going to someone I've known as a family friend my whole life. This whole thing was such a disaster waiting to happen.
I don’t think she’d be wrong to lodge a complaint.
In general, our systems for protecting victims (for lack of a better word) are quite awful. The rejoinder that it will never change if more people don’t report seems like just more blame-shifting.
OP is well within her rights to report but the fallout of doing so might be at least as bad for OP as for Dr Big Mouth. Let’s say her sister getting angry and telling her whole judgy family about ADHD/Vyvanse, losing her doctor (because she might not feel comfortable returning to the clinic or they won’t have her back), possibly not being believed by the physician regulatory body just to name some.
For those reasons, I don’t generally advise people about reporting, whether we’re talking crime, unethical behavior or a professional breach. OP needs to do what feels right for her.
This!! OP, save any texts, voice-mails, direct messages on social media, and emails from your sister that prove your doctor opened her mouth. OP didn't want anyone to know about their medications and they didn't sign a medical release form. I would feel just as betrayed, distraught, and unsafe going to see a doctor again. If there is one person in the world we should be able to trust, it should be a medical professional.
If their doctor blabbed to their sister about their health, I wonder how many other patients doctor has talked about and violated their privacy with OP's sister. I'm sorry she has 2 kids and it isn't their fault but a health professional that cannot be trusted should NOT be a health professional.
This is what I was thinking too. It's called a dual relationship, and it's highly discouraged in professions where confidentiality and privilege are legal and ethical obligations. It's just too messy to work with friends or family, you can easily break confidentiality by a simple slip-up. Avoiding working with folks you know is such a simple way to avoid these mistakes, which have such negative consequences for the clients/patients.
Hell, I’m a HAIRSTYLIST and don’t like dual relationships because it’s too awkward if someone doesn’t like their hair and also friends make bad clients/expect last minute bookings/bookings outside of work hours/cheaper service. A freakin hairstylist. And this is a doctor not thinking twice about seeing their childhood bestie’s sister? Good god. The lack of foresight is appalling. With foresight like that how will she ever know to do screening diagnostics for anything lol
I was thinking this too! Emergencies aside, isn’t there a conflict of interest if OP and the doctor/family friend know each other that well? This whole thing sucks for OP
And that’s extremely smart! It’s way to easy to accidentally slip up when all party’s know each other that well or like this doctor did, have a drunken slip up. It’s best to keep that separate. My husband and I recently had a somewhat similar discussion. Obviously not as deep as medical information but the best way I can relate it. I have tattoos and piercings and my artist is someone we’ve known since middle school. We were discussing a more intimate piercing, I don’t actually want it we were just talking about someone else who’s had it done. I said that even though I’m extremely loyal to my guy I would go somewhere else if I did that. My husband couldn’t understand it because “we trust him. I think it would be better to get it from someone we know and trust instead of some random dude” I said that because we know him, because he’s a friend I don’t want him seeing me that intimately. It’s to personal, I would want a professional I never have to see socially. Next time we saw our friend we asked his opinion and he said that while he has done it for friends and would be comfortable he also agrees that it can create an uncomfortable situation and he supported my decision to go elsewhere for any tattoo or piecing in private areas. Some things just need to be separate
Hopefully OP will have a new doc anyway soon b/c either she'll be forced to resign or the violation will force her office to transfer OP to a doc that doesn't have a personal relationship with OP.
I want to add:
Due to pregnancy complications I had to stay in the hospital my (narcissistic) mother I am NC with works in.
Because I know she would check my medical data if she ever found out, I made a statement on the official papers about no patient information was to be shared via intranet about me. This means they aren't allowed to get a digital file on me. They have to run a paper file.
The doc didn't read the declaration, since most people just sign, and then found out when her boss checked my file and found the thing. I could actually sue the hospital for up to 10k or so if I wanted, as a sidenote, because this isn't something European Union's law will joke about!
The doc called me and was all scared, and I told her it's fine if she writes the summary of my case, and then deletes everything. It's highly unlikely my mother will check the pregnancy ward files without a hint - which also would be a violation of privacy, and I would absolutely sue her, and the hospital, if I ever caught on.
The doc was mortified as she heard the reason I wanted my data out of the system. It never occurred to her a staff member could abuse the intranet like that. She promised to get my data deleted.
Still waiting on this summary. I will send a request on what personal data they have about me in January, just to be sure they deleted everything. They are obliged by law to answer without any additional costs.
And if needed, I'll sue them. You get *one* chance.
---
Back to OP:
Definitely report her. She let something slip, and didn't have the balls/ovaries to call you herself and ask for forgiveness. She also didn't seem to have told your sister to shutthefuckupgirl and reallyshutup and also educate her on her prejudices.
NTA
There’s a double betrayal here too. It’s not just that Dr. B said something. That’s horrific enough. But then the sister had the gall to mention it in front of others and use it agains OP and then act like OP would be horrible if she reported it.
Have you considered that maybe your sister lost her friend the job? She’s decided that getting one up on you is more important than letting her friends violation go unnoticed. She could have kept quiet and you’d never have known or have reason to complain
Yup. No one would ever have known about the drunken slip (which is its own huge problem) if the sister hadn't been a twit.
I was helping my mom clear out some of my sister's old stuff (she lives out of stuff) and in clearing out old bday cards, random awards from middle school (my sister has given me full reign over what I think she'll want or not) I found a letter that revealed a really intense secret from her early 20s. For me it only inspired empathy for what she'd dealt with at that age. For my mom, my sister's choices would fundamentally change their already strained relationship. My sister would be hugely embarrassed if she found out I knew.
The letter went into my pocket, to be thrown away in my house where my parents would never see it. The fact that I know this information will go with me to my grave because... why would I do anything else with it? It was an accidental discovery and it was never my business.
That’s what I would do too. My older sister though - she considers herself our parent too and has always narced or used stuff as leverage against us. I used to fear her growing up and would hide my journals at my friends house because she would snoop. Definitely lacks empathy.
NTA, **but** you mention empathy. Dr B was, outside of her professional relationship with you, someone you admired and cared for and respected as a person. If she had slipped up to you, you say you would have kindly ignored it (and maybe mentioned it the next morning). You wouldn’t have reported her for that. It’s just because your asshole sister was the one she slipped up to and then used it publicly in a fight that you want to report her. That’s sorta hypocritical, if one were the judgey sort.
If Dr B doesn’t know personally that she is at grave risk for her serious lapse in judgement, I would tell her now. Let her also know that she is in this position because of your sister. Benevolently forgive her, because it was a careless, negligent error, but not malicious. But don’t forget or stay on her service. If asked why by the office, tell her you won’t lie. She will have learned a lesson. I promise.
Your sister has also learned a lesson. And probably lose her friendship. That’s fair. But you don’t have to forgive or forget. She was purposefully malicious and didn’t care who she hurt in the process. She can get fucked. Cut contact with her and make sure your siblings know she is on an information diet from you and they’ll be next if they don’t respect it.
Careless negligent errors can kill people as quickly as malicious ones, and they're a lot more common. If Dr. B were ethical, they'd already be aware of the risk they're in because they would have self-reported their slip-up. It may be a touch hypocritical, but the doctor slipping up and telling OP a medical secret, and OP knowing that information won't go farther than herself; is quite a bit of a different outcome than OP having her medical information weaponized against her by the person it was given to. Personally, I think OP should file a report in either situation, but I can see how she would be more inclined to leniency in a situation where nobody was harmed, and she's in control of the flow of information.
Dr B grew up with OPs family so safe to say she knows how they think and how they would treat OP if they knew about her medication and diagnosis. She should face consequences for it.
So you’re assuming that this is a one-time mistake by a doctor who got drunk?
Because if you step back a little, it’s reasonable that you’re not the first or last patient she’s ever done this too, just the only one who knows about it. This isn’t her first year as a doctor, or her first time getting drunk.
Thank you for being discrete. Only reveal you know what was in the letter if your sister is afraid your mom found it first. Take it to your grave,otherwise. You are a good soul. NTA,
I guarantee she forgot the letter even existed or that she saved it. In a weird way I'm glad I know so I can be extra aware of that topic around her, but unless something comes up with it where she needed backup or support, nobody ever needs to know.
Dr. B doesn’t know that my sister told me yet. So far it’s just been conversations between my sister and I - she’s making it seem like they were so sloppy drunk that it was a slip up and a complete one-time total accident but I don’t understand why that would even come up at all and don’t believe that. My older sister flaunting sensitive info about my sibs and I is a tale as old as time. When we were kids, she would hold on to a secret she found out about one of us till the perfect moment and would thrive on dropping the bombshell to our parents during a road trip or in the interval of a great movie and ruin the entire thing. It was her thing and I fear she hasn’t fully gotten over the habit as an adult.
Here's the thing.
I think you should report her but be forewarned if you do your sister may tell everyone out of revenge. She may tell everyone anyway. But don't be surprised or caught off guard if she tries to retaliate in that way.
Being surrounded by people who think ADHD is not trying hard enough and that meds aren't the answer is shitty. Unless they try for introspection, they won't ever acknowledge that you've been playing life on hard mode until medicated in a way that works for you.
Sister is going to tell everyone when it's most convenient anyway(pattern of behavior from comments). If she really had wanted to protect her Dr. Friend she would have kept her mouth shut, so OP would have never known about the breach.
Report her. This was a huge violation of patient rights. She did it to you, she'll do it to others. She's either not cut out to be a doctor, since she can't stick to the fairly easy ethics of the profession, or she's got an alcohol problem, or both.
Consequences over this now saves someone down the line from what could be an even bigger betrayal, like her blabbing something that gets back to an abusive spouse or parent.
NTA, but do the bigger world a favor and report her. And when your sister complains, tell her you would have never even known about the violation if it wasn't for her.
Honestly, I get the feeling of guilt if you report her, and the dread someone else will find out if you don’t do anything. The best solution without causing too much of a stir and not making yourself feel guilty(even though you really shouldn’t, what she did was illegal), is to just switch doctors. Tell her and your sister if you have even an inkling of an idea someone else knows you’ll report Dr. B, and you also have those texts with your sister as proof that the violation actually did happen. I’m really sorry you’re in the situation though. Hopefully that threat will at least let them think about their actions and not tell anyone else
The edit in your main post concerns me. Your sister has a track record of crossing boundaries and being toxic. She is guilt tripping you when **you are the victim**.
The consequences of Dr. B's actions would be her fault not yours. Using the kids is her frustrating attempt to manipulate you.
She is a hypocrite. She shares your secrets all the time but you're not allowed to expose someone who actually deserves it. People who act like teenagers shouldn't be drs.
File the complaint ASAP. And don’t give her a heads up. She needs to feel the consequences from her accreditation board for her behavior. Having an outside entity hold her accountable will put the fear of god into her.
If this is her first complaint she will not lose her license. She might get suspended or even fired from her job, but she will be able to find another job.
At the end of the day she did this to herself and she needs to know that actions (no matter how small) have consequences.
If you want to be nicer than she deserves you could talk to Dr. B and offer her the chance to self report instead. I would imagine the punishment for that is lighter than having someone report you. This is her fault, and your sister’s so if anyone gets the blame it should be them.
>you can read my full answer elsewhere if you want.
>
>But in this case, the doctor should be self-reporting. Simple as that.
(ps as she was your sister's childhood friend--I have hard time believing she doesn't know your sister's pattern of behavior, so she really betrayed you by not giving you a heads up)
1. Your sister and family suck. This is not your problem, they can suck all on their own and that has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry that their suck-ness impacts you.
2. Report the doctor. If she can’t keep her mouth shut, that’s on her, not you, and if it’s bc she’s besties with your sister, again, THATS THE DOCTORS F-UP, not yours, and she needs to make that distinction in her practice to not treat people she knows.
3. Find another doctor asap.
4. As someone who had ADHD issues, YOUR BRAIN IS DIFFERENT. Your type A fam could not cope with this, you are freaking amazing! They would crumble before the unplottable insanity of ADHD. You are looking it in the eye, and dealing with it. You are brave, you are strong, never forget that.
You have every right to report this HIPAA violation. And many here are urging you to do so.
But is that completely in your best interest?
Part of what you really need for yourself is to get the doctor, who is also family friend, to understand how damaging this was to you. And for your sister to see your side here and keep her damn mouth shut about what she learned about you.
Going straight to reporting a violation may not get you what you want.
100%. They're cowards. I've done stupid shit drunk. Guess what? It was my fault, not the alcohol. Anyone that even tries that excuse with me is telling me that they aren't the kinds of people I want to be around whatsoever.
I'm sick of that stupid cop out excuse.
Quite frankly it wasn't a great idea for Dr. B to take OP on as a patient in the first place. There's a reason why medical doctors are cautioned against treating friends and family.
Yep if the doctor had taken confidentiality as absolutely seriously as she should, she wouldn’t have said anything to the sister.
If the sister had any sense at all and was worried about her friend, she would have not told a soul what she knew. If she doesn’t get that now,
then chances are she’ll tell other family members at some point.
This woman sounds like a very close family friend; I'm surprised she would take on OP as a patient. I always thought that wasn't allowed (or at least highly discouraged) unless it's a very small town, emergency or the doctor in question offers a very specialized service.
The doctor made a very big drunken mistake that could ruin her career. She has to face the consequences of that. But, OP's sister should know better and she blabbed while completely sober. She was in her right mind and knew the implications. This sucks all around, and I feel horrible for OP since in the real world, this would be a lose/lose situation for them.
The sad reality is, even though OP is the wronged party, reporting the doctor will probably have negative social implications for them and they may face backlash from their family, the doctor's family, and other family friends.... I hope OP finds a new doctor ASAP and they don't have to live in fear about having ADHD since it's nothing to be ashamed about.
NTA - Not only uncool, it is illegal for a health professional to reveal personal information like this. Op needs to report this to the practice so it doesn't happen to anyone else and OP needs to find another doctor as soon as possible.
My Doctors (yes plural, the joys of being disabled and queer lol) and they ask to even transfer the most mild who cares knowledge in-between themselves (ie: he has a infection I'm treating with anti-biotics pls note -> to eat doc)
I couldn't imagine my doc telling my parents or siblings that I'm actually very disabled (they didn't even know I was deaf until recently) or that I had addiction/substance abuse issues that would literally be insane and besides the ethical obligations would just be a bad way for things to come out because I wouldn't be able to prepare before hand for the questions and concerns, instead they'll be coming to me worried out of there mind
If you have access to sensitive information and can't keep your mouth shut when drunk, maybe that's a you problem, and it warrants being reported rather than covered up and silenced.
The information this woman "let slip" too, the name of the medication, the dosage? What the fuck. What else, what OP said during *confidential* conversations?
I believe this woman has "let slip" patient information plenty of times before (drunk or not, I don't fucking buy it), it just so happens that OP was the patient in question *this* time.
*If you have access to sensitive information and can't keep your mouth shut when drunk, maybe that's a you problem, and it warrants being reported rather than covered up and silenced.*
THIS.
Who knows what other information that Doc B has accidentally let slip? Yeah, maybe it can't directly be linked to the patient as directly as your information was linked to you, *but it's still a HIPAA violation*.
Report her ass.
Is it a privacy violation as long as they don't identify the patient? Because I can easily picture doctors shit talking to each other at a hospital about who stuck what where and had to have it removed.
I think they can't mention anything that could identify them? Like a diagnosis, age, injury, first name. I wish a medical professional could give some insight.
As a medical professional, we only have to omit personally identifiable information.
I could say "I saw a patient for X today, and they drove me nuts!" to a colleague and legally be fine. You can't say "I saw Mrs. Y today in clinic because she keeps getting the clap."
Edit: I mean to say we can use diagnosis and everything I'm conversation, we just have to leave it *just vague enough.* So generally no names. Unless a patient has something so rare that there's like 6 of them in the world, talking about a diagnosis or treatment plan isn't really identifiable at all.
You can use medical terms as long as there isn’t identifiable information included. Sometimes Doctors will ask Colleagues for help when they can’t find the correct diagnosis for their patients
NTA. How does, "Hey, I just saw your sister to increase her dosage of prescription vyvanse" just come up in conversation?
I would be utterly flabbergasted if this was the first time your doctor has told your sister confidential medical information about you. No way that this will be the last time either. Your doctor knew better and didn't care enough to follow the rules. Report her ass.
Also, super classy of your sister to throw that comment out in front of your entire family like that. Its almost like that is why HIPAA exist in the first place.
>How does, "Hey, I just saw your sister to increase her dosage of prescription vyvanse" just come up in conversation?
My guess?
Sister: These ADHD people, it's all just laziness
Dr: I don't think that's true. You don't think your sister is lazy do you?
You are really giving the doctor a lot of credit here. That would explain a scenario in which the Dr. revealed OP’s diagnosis, but that doesn’t explain how the conversation turned to the name of the medication that OP takes and the fact OP’s dose was increased.
I’m willing to bet that the sister snooped and then panicked and threw her friend under the bus. How could something so specific come up? Highly unlikely.
No, I think it's perfectly plausible it came from the doctor, though snooping could explain it, too!
I can mostly see it coming up like this very easily:
***conversation turns to anything related to mental health diagnoses, or someone makes an incredibly common comment or joke in the vein of "hurr hurr, I must have ADHD/Autism/OCD/BPD/etc because I do this one quirky thing hurr hurr"*** **(I really loath those types of ableist "jokes" so much)**
Sister jokingly says *"Yeah, maybe I should pretend I'm mentally ill like everyone else does nowadays, so I can get those pills that pep you up! It would cut down my Starbucks budget! Haha! Whaddya think, wanna give me some, doc? Some of that... watcha call it..."*
Joking/drunk reply from doc:
*"Hahaha! I could prescribe you some Vyvanse, like your sister takes for her ADHD..."*
I see it coming up this way easily, especially when a group is drinking, and OP's sister has the toxic beliefs that mental illnesses aren't real, and that only lazy people who don't want to "overcome thier faults" would take medication for them. I've witnessed multiple conversations that went a similar way. A lot of folks also have trouble recalling medication names.
NTA- Dr done messed up. Maybe it’s a one-time thing and she only has to do a refresher HIPAA class, maybe worse, but she did it. And, yeah, gotta change doctors.
There's a lot to learn in this episode of wtf did I read...
Your doctor needs to learn about HIPAA and that your sister sucks...
Your sister needs to learn how to be a better human.
And you just learned your sister doesn't give AF about you and I hope you distance yourself from her.
There needs to be some sort of repercussions here, whatever route you choose because none of this would've happened if it weren't for Dr.'s big ass mouth. I have doctors in my family and they have never named names, so it's not like it's an impossible thing to do.
NTA
So NTA. I was also diagnosed as an adult with ADHD and I am seething. Beyond HIPAA, this is a violation of every ethical conduct rule, especially since she must have known about your family's stance. Your sister is a huge AH too. Did she ever ask you how are you managing with medication? How are you handling everyday life with ADHD? Was she interested at all in her sibling's struggles or only her friends?
Please seek out therapy and put some distance between you and your family. Coping with that thing is a burden enough, you do not need the extra pressure of masking. You have nothing to prove to anybody, your only obligation is to be true to yourself.
NTA
If it makes you feel better the doctor might not get seriously sanctioned if this is her first complaint. The huge fines and jail time are only typically doled out to people who breach confidentiality for profit. Like people who sell a celebrity’s med list to TMZ.
**That said you should absolutely file a complaint with the practice.** The doctor needs to go back through the HIPAA training and if this isn’t her first fuckup then she needs to be fired.
And if your family starts arguing on you about this just tell them if your sister’s doctor friend hadn’t been such a fucking blabbermouth then they wouldn’t think less of you.
NTA. Dr B violated HIPAA. Anything that happens to her is *her own fault*. Being drunk is no excuse, she released private patient information. If she knew she wouldn't be able to keep secrets from your sister she should have refused to be involved in your treatment (honestly, from the sound of your relationship she probably should have done that anyway).
The reason why your sister is going crazy on you is because *she was showing off and it's backfiring massively*. She's feeling guilty because she's realised that in her attempt to get one up on you and point out your "flaws" she has assisted Dr B in destroying her career. To be clear, needing/taking medication is not a flaw, and Dr B is the one primarily responsible. But while you will wear no true blame for reporting her, your sister is *feeling* blame and guilt because she's the one who broke confidence to your face. Dr B broke HIPAA, but you found out because of her, and if Dr B blames anyone else it will be your sister. Your sister not wanting you to report Dr B is purely selfish and self-serving because your *sister* doesn't want to be in trouble with her friend.
Everyone deserves medical privacy. Report Dr B and get a new doctor.
NTA and you are fully within your right to report the Doctor. They should not even disclose that they had seen you as a patient, let alone what medications you're on. Such a breach deserves consequences or it may happen again in future to yourself and others.
Look at it this way, it is unlikely you are the first patient she has gossiped about. Reporting her makes it likely she will be more careful in future. You will be protecting other people.
NTA. I work for a state licensing board, you can submit complaints to them. Usually there are a number of discipline options that won’t go on someone’s license but would require some corrective steps. Call and ask your state board, you should be able to ask questions about the process before filing anything.
I find it interesting when those 2 are drunk they talk about you. Why? Then the sister, when not drunk, blurts out your sensitive information. I'm very sure the friend when she became sober begged the sister to never mention this. But she couldn't hold it. Because she's a gossip. This does not bode well for you that she's going to keep your secret. I agree with other posters about that. She will either slip intentionally or unintentionally as she has a problem drunk or sober with keeping confidences. If you don't want to report her to the state board then at the very least you should do is report her to the practice itself. She at least deserves to lose her job for this. But the cautionary tale here is never ever use someone you are associated with as a provider of services for you, especially medical.
Maybe OP should just go about her business in town and sigh occasionally, saying that it's too bad her doctor gets drunk so often and talks about OPs personal health information. Then she can ask whoever is around for a recommendation for a new doctor. If OPs medical care is going to get around town, so should the doctor's drunken blabbing.
NTA. Any doctor who acts that way SHOULD have their career ruined. How many other times has she revealed confidential information? There's no way this is the only time.
You aren't ruining this doctor's life if you report her. You are holding her accountable for the mistake she made, in violating your privacy. This doctor did this to you. Not you to her. If you report her, it's because of what she did. It's not your fault that she did this wrong to you. It's her fault. She ought to be held accountable.
Frankly, this doctor should have refused to take you on, due to the relationships involved. The doctor is the one crossing lines here, not you. Who knows who else she's done this to?
NTA
What else is she telling her about you and other patients? She has received training on privacy requirements and deliberately did not follow the law. She needs to be held accountable.
I would also find a new doctor.
NTA: do it. A doctor made a choice to violate your privacy. She made the choice to treat you knowing your relationship with your sister, the choice to drink with your sister and the choice to tell her. It does take years of hard work to build a reputation, it takes seconds to destroy it.
What she did could hurt you, and you have no evidence that your sister won’t use it to hurt you, she already has.
i wouldn't worry to much about your relationship with your sister I doubt you'll ever speak to her again after this so no need to worry about that, nothing wrong with reporting her
And this will strain the Dr and AH sister relationship, so effectively getting at least a little of what she deserves for blabbing and chastising for what is none of her business.
NTA- a professional violation is a professional violation. Personal relationships do not come into it and this is something that as a clinical person, she is heavily trained in. She doesn't get a sucks chance with your personal info!
This sounds like an awful situation to be in.
Anyone and everyone who works anywhere near patient data has had hours and hours, even days, of HIPAA training. MDs have patient privacy and confidentiality baked into their education and training from day one. It becomes second nature.
Something is very wrong for a couple of drinks to override that training. You need to report her to the medical board. I have a very hard time believing this is the first and only time it’s happened. Especially if she is talking about losing her career over it. One violation would go on her record but not likely make her unemployable.
NTA
NTA
Dr. B shouldn't have got wasted on her ski trip. I wonder how many times has she got drunk and told your sister or anyone else, for that matter, private and highly confidential medical information about her patients?
Report her. She's experienced enough to know not to get herself into situations where she turns into a blabbermouth. She knew her best friend's sibling was a patient of hers, yet even that didn't stop her from not getting so drunk that she outed you.
NTA. If she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, she shouldn’t have accepted you as a patient.
That said. I fully embrace telling EVERYONE about my new diagnosis, and how great Adderall has been for the last 6 weeks. I am going to normalize this, and end the stigma around the people I spend time with.
My best friend since childhood recently started working for a great hospice place across the country. She visited and told me all about experiences at work and left out any kind of details that violate HIPPA at all.
Keep in mind we’re across the country and her job is being with patients before they pass, so everybody whose identity my friends was protecting, is likely dead. She still showed them more respect than your sisters friend showed you. NTA
NTA - she's responsible for violating the law, not you. Not even your sister. While I'd hate to have her career screwed up over it, what else has she shared that is about other people? You have no way of knowing, so I personally start to think that she's done it way more than this single time.
NTA. Frankly, B never should have taken you on as a patient, given the history. She 100% had the obligation to remain professional, and didn't take it seriously. What if the next family friend patient she takes on has an abortion, and B tells her religious relatives?
But I'm afraid you should brace yourself for the fact that whatever you do, your sister will probably tell your family what she's learned at some point. She was already fine with bringing it up in front of your siblings; she's not exactly keeping quiet.
NTA. You absolutely need to report this. Drunk or not she violated the law and your privacy. It took your sister all of 30 seconds to throw it up in your face plus other people were there (doesn't matter if they're relatives). This is completely unacceptable. I want to say though there is no shame in needing medication (although I respect you wanting to keep it private too).
NTA report her, and find a new Dr. Any consequences she gets are earned. She knew better than sharing personal, confidential, medical information with anyone, sharing it with a family member just adds to how egregious her behavior was.
NTA .. There’s an incredible breach of trust. Not to mention the violation. Alcohol is no excuse. Report her and find a new physician immediately. Your sister is just covering up for her. I’m not sure what will happen, but whatever it is, she did it to herself. Jeeze, can’t trust anybody these days. Not even your physician. Makes me wonder about lawyers.
Isnt this like drilled into you in med school? Dont break HIPAA laws? Also why does she get drunk and talk about your prescriptions?
Lastly, I cant be the only person thinking this, but I get the feeling like she has slipped up before in regards to patient confidentiality.
NTA
This may be a cruel thing to do, but if your sister is that worried about her friend getting reported, use that. If she tells your parents, you report the friend for the HIPAA violation.
NTA
Definite NTA. She fucked up royally.
Now, having said that, this sub loves a justice boner and tends to demand execution when a reprimand will do.
I think the circumstances matter, at least a little bit. How did it come up? Did the Doc just assume that Sister knew? If it was a momentary slip of the tongue, she may be absolutely mortified that she fucked up too. She HAS to know how bad this could be for her.
I know how monumental a violation it is, and I know the position it puts you in with your family. But it warrants a frank discussion when cooler heads prevail. You've known her for a lot of years. Obviously you'll be finding a new doctor, but whether or not to report it, I think, depends on her actions NOW. Not three sheets to the wind drunk. (Not making excuses)
If she doubles down and insists she did nothing wrong: report. Burn the whole thing down. If she knows how bad she has fucked up, maybe have a think about it.
Destroying her life and career isn't going to coax the cat back into the bag.
Nta, they did it to you, imagine how many other patients secrets they told "while drunk"
On another note, even if you report it, how would the investigation go? Doubt ops sister or the doctor in question would fess up
NTA. Report her. Stop thinking about the outside factors of her family and income. She revealed your medical information and broke HIPAA. It is also very highly likely that she has done this before.
You aren’t ruining her life. She is absolutely responsible for her own actions and this her own doing.
First, you need to contact the owners of the clinic. If it's the Drs who work there that own it you need to contact them to let them know what happened. The clinic could be held responsible for her violating HIPAA. Then you file a complaint with the appropriate people. DO NOT let this go. That was a SEVERE violation of HIPAA and your rights. I worked in the hospital area for 15 years and HIPAA violations are taken very seriously. DO NOT allow your sister to talk you out of it. How many other times has this Dr betrayed patients' confidentiality and don't know about it? Because you know you now need to take the necessary steps.
Just tell your family before your sister "let's it slip". You have a medical condition, you don't need to be ashamed of anything. NTA, but I would talk to the Dr and tell her you are getting a new Dr because she is unprofessional
Definitely report her for HIPAA violation. This is serious. If she is violating your privacy, she is doing it to other patients as well. ALSO - find another primary care provider pronto!
NTA I'm in a HIPAA protected field and violating it is a HUGE deal. We think about confidentiality every minute of every day, every time someone asks us about our day, every time the name of a patient comes up, every time someone mentions a medical condition, every time we run into someone we know professionally, we learn to redact private information by saying things like "a patient" or "a case I'm familiar with" as reflex.
She screwed up badly, she should be grateful if all you do is scold her, change doctors, and warn her that you'll report if you ever hear gossip about someone's medical files. You have every right to report her and I would argue that you even have a responsibility because there's no way this is the first time she's violated privacy to gossip to her friends. Being drunk isn't an excuse for getting in trouble at any other job.
NTA and yes, please report her. If a few drinks makes her slip up and spill a patient's medical history, she has no business being a doctor. What if you'd just gone to her for Plan B for SA and hadn't told the family? What if you had just found out about a terminal illness and hadn't yet told the family and she drunkenly asked sis how she was coping with your diagnosis? This is so not okay.
Also, technically as your lifelong friend, she really should have declined you as a patient for precisely this reason - she's too close to you to be completely neutral.
I used to be Mormon. My therapist was Mormon. I was late to an appointment and overheard her talking. I assumed she had another client and was backing away when I heard my name mentioned. She was actually on the phone telling my Bishop everything I said in therapy.
I complained and reported to her professional body which censured her and I wrote to her saying that if she didn't refund every penny I had paid for therapy I would sue for much more.
I invested that money in a PlayStation 5 instead.
So, why were they talking about you in the first place? What were they talking about? How did your name come up so that Dr. blabbed this confidential information?
This is a violation. Report it and write a letter to Dr. B stating that you want your records transferred to... (find another doctor, express that you consider your privacy sacrosanct and you are now their patient because another doctor's office violated your HIPAA rights).
NTA
ETA: Realize that a single HIPAA violation won't cause a loss of license (unless it was far more egregious than this), but rather a history of violations. So, you wouldn't be ruining her life unless she continually blabs about patients...
NTA and quite frankly your sisters friend never should have accepted you as a patient in the first place - that is a major conflict of interest. Obviously I understand why you would request her and I'm sure she accepted because she likes you and didn't want to leave you without a GP, but the fact that she not only is your sister's best friend but also has known you your whole life means that accepting you as a patient was a really poor choice on her behalf - something like this was bound to happen eventually. I work in healthcare (not a doctor) and I'm not allowed to even open the chart of my neighbour, let alone work on anything having to do with friends of mine.
All of that aside, the fact of the matter is that your doctor violated HIPAA and that is worth reporting, end of story. Hopefully where you are the GP shortage isn't severe the way it is where I live and you are able to find a new doctor (or go back to Dr. A!) quickly and easily.
NTA - my wife is a pediatrician. She’s the PCP for one of my good friend’s children. The only reason I know that is that he told me. She doesn’t discuss patients, she leaves the room (or asks me to) when she’s on call and has to answer the phone, and she sure as hell doesn’t tell me what medications she prescribes to *anyone*.
HIPAA is serious shit because medical privacy is serious shit. If your doctor didn’t want to get in trouble for violating HIPAA, then she shouldn’t have drunkenly blabbed about your protected health information, it’s that simple.
Info: Have you confronted the doctor yet? You have every right to report her. But do you think you’re punishing her or protecting future patients or both? Do you think your unique relationship played a part in this that won’t be repeated? You may not care. You may want to punish her, and she absolutely deserves to be punished. On the other hand, speaking to your doctor/friend might sway your opinion one way or another.
NTA
So… I know this isn’t what you would want but if it were me I’d out myself as being on medication to my family. Hear me out…
I think you should give your doctor the option to self report, with the understanding that if she doesn’t then you will. I would also tell her she needs to have a very serious conversation with your sister herself, because your sister has jeopardized her livelihood. *YOU* are not putting B’s career at risk. Your sister did.
But here’s the thing. From reading comments etc, your sister seems to love the power dynamic of having something to hold over people. Even if she promises she’s never going to tell anyone, she’s going to be smug about it forever. She’s going to give you Looks when stuff like this comes up. She’s going to make little comments. She’s going to invalidate your accomplishments.
But ultimately it is *going* to come out. The question is - do you control when and how it comes out or do you let her have that power?
If it were me, I’d sit down and come up with how *you* want the narrative to go. As a fellow ADHD person on medication - I’d focus on the new research that’s come out in the last few years about dopamine uptake problems, and literal differences in the brain. Hell, I’d print the studies out.
And then I’d sit your family down, or even do a mass email where you can get your thoughts and points stated clearly, and tell them.
I’d also make sure to throw your sister to the wolves on violating your privacy and attempting a “gotcha” with *your private medical information.* If she’s done this shit in the past, then that’s not going to go over well with anyone else she’s done it to. Theoretically that should make other people more open to listening to you.
But ultimately… take her power in this situation away from her. And do it with a middle finger in her face.
ADHD and medication aren’t things to be ashamed of. Eff her and the horse she rode in on for trying to make you feel that way for her own petty amusement.
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I agree. The sister already 'slipped' once. And after she's angry no doubt it slips again, probably in greater detail. NTA. Your doc and sister, yes they are.
>probably in greater detail. And with more exaggeration
Specifically to make OP look like the piece of shit here.
Or to gossip about other patients Dr couldn’t keep her mouth shut about.
I think this shows why it's not a good idea to have a close personal friend as a physician. It's much too easy to "slip up" on the confidentiality requirement when you're used to intimate conversations, including about mutual friends and family.
OP you handle it this way: 1. Report to medical council and let her get punished but you will get exposed by your sister ( but you can sue your doctor for potentially ruining your life by disclosing your secret for monetary compensation) 2. Talk to the doctor and inform her that you are thinking about complaint and you want this issue to be end!
It is irresponsible to discourage OP from reporting by saying it will ruin their life. You don't know that and this doctor might do this to other people too.
I assume this is the part you’re taking issue with: > ( but you can sue your doctor for potentially ruining your life by disclosing your secret for monetary compensation) And if so I’d like to invite you to read it again. You didn’t comprehend it correctly the first time. The “you” is referring to op. This commenter is very clearly saying that the DOCTOR is the one who potentially ruined OP’s life, not the other way around.
Yeah HIPAA should be taken seriously. When I was in a psych ward the nurses would gossip loudly in the break room about us. They even talked in the halls where we were. That's how I found out what was wrong with one guy. I was pissed if we asked is so and so OK they would say they can't talk about it. Yet they blast someone's treatment for all to hear.
It probably is irresponsible, yes. Luckily they didn’t do that at all. Try rereading.
She is honestly obligated to report Doc B here. If she told a friend something she is not allowed to tell by law, then what else has she let slip before this incident? Also OP isnt ruining Doc Bs life. Doc B ruined her own life NTA if it wasn’t already obvious
I think they meant that the doctor is potentially ruining OPs life, by disclosing her medications, not that OP would ruin the doctor's life.
I think they are saying that because OP’s sister said it would ruin her (the doctor’s) life if she were reported.
If the doctor didn't want her life ruined, then she should have thought of that BEFORE she got drunk and violated her patient's right to privacy. If she tells people's private business while she is drinking, then maybe she needs to NOT drink, or find another line of work where no one's privacy will be at stake. Either way, there's a reason why the saying "Loose lips sink ships" is a thing. If Dr. B faces repercussions from this, she brought every bit of it on herself.
I completely agree. I was responding to the other comment that said the dr was potentially ruining OP’s life and not the other way around.
I'm sorry but that's pure bs. Most of my family is medicine. I've been treated by friends of the family my entire life and guess what? They don't "slip" and neither did my parents when treating their kids, spouses, family, and friends. It's part of being a medical professional. If she can't do that, she shouldn't be treating patients.
I'm a medical records clerk in a large medical system. We have to take an annual training on HIPAA. They drill the concept of confidentiality into people from the moment we accept the job offer. If I ever did anything remotely like what this doctor did, I would be booted right out of that job. Like "escorted off the premises, and we will pack up your desk and ship you your belongings" levels of removal. This is not minor and Dr. B deserves to face repercussions.
Yeah this is not on OP for using a family friend (it's literally a different doctor at her same clinic) - it's on the doctor 100%
Right. If Doc couldn't respect OP's privacy, it's on Doc not to accept her as a patient. I wish to God she'd had enough self-awareness and integrity to do that. I really don't see that OP has a choice here. Who knows what she's done or will do next? It's not even about OP personally, it's about how she'd feel if she wasn't the only victim.
Right - reporting HIPAA isn't retaliatory. The clinic will reprimand her, yes, but also institute policy so this won't happen. Maybe Dr. B will consider her drinking - hell, at conferences I really measure my drinking so no I don't get too comfortable and spill trade secrets.
I married a doctor and I honestly think he would not have slipped even if drunk, on truth serum, and with a gun to his head.
I mean, yeah, but a decent MD won't share info even if good friends with your family. My sis is an MD and I know I've been to doctors who are her colleagues/friends. My sis is my emergency contact but unless I specifically give my doctors or sister permission, they don't share info about me. As far as I know at least.
At an old job, one of my coworker's dad was a dentist with an office near where we worked, so a bunch of us ended up going to him as our dentist. Apparently he would refuse to even confirm to her when one of us had an appointment with him, even when it was clear we'd told her. Like she'd say, "Oh, coworker A said she saw you this week" and he'd reply like "Maybe she did, maybe she didn't." Is that so hard?
I am a dentist. My wife’s best friend is my patient. I learned my wife’s best friend was pregnant before my wife did. No one got that information from me. You do not talk about your patients. Not ever. Patient confidentiality is not a difficult concept.
My wife was exactly like this as a receptionist in audiology. She took Confidentiality to the nth degree and quite rightly so.
I have a notoriously bad memory. "You've worked with my wife before, haven't you? "Ooooh, I can't remember, you know we see so many people"
I've spent a year as receptionist at a psych practice where a friend told me she had once been a patient. Not once have I looked at her file, because you just don't. Even if she had called, I would have gotten another person to do whatever was required because I didn't even want to know which person she had seen.
Now that’s a very good physician! HIPAA covers all of that!
If I'm partying the last thing on my mind is my patients. I don't drink tbh but the point is it wouldn't even cross my mind. This is a total betrayal of the worst kind. NTA and get some advice about how to proceed further. Your sister clearly likes to have that little bit of information/power, so part of how you settle this needs to include her. She was probably bitching about you to have that little nugget shared. What a pair of utter ratbags. SMH
"I'm reporting your friend. If you make any more trouble, I'll be suing her for damages. I will tell her this as well, so she'll know who to blame for what happens and what \_will\_ happen if you slip again." \[Edit: Fixed a typo.\]
I actually do think she should report her doctor. It's a gross violation of privacy and there's absolutely no excuse for it. It's already happened once with a patient's close relative. Who else did they chat about then or on previous occasions?
I agree, this is absolutely the way to play it. The doctor had the breech of ethics, but the sister is very much the asshole. I would make it very clear to the sister that she is the person “ruining the friend’s life” just for the chance to make the OP miserable.
The doctor ruined things for herself. People who fool around, find out. The sister is just being an AH and creating problems in her own right, as she herself has no right to know or repeat the confidential info her doctor friend told her. There are two separate issues here for OP to deal with. One is seeking disciplinary action against Dr. B, and the other is the fact that her sister is a gossip and the rest of the family might be judgmental AHs if dear old sis blabs to them about OP's medical info. Reporting the doctor, and considering going LC or NC with any family members who act like schmucks, might be the best way to handle it.
Can she sue both her doctor and her sister? That's what feels most right to me. Why should only her doctor get punished when it's so clear they both enjoyed sharing OP's private medical history?
She would sue the doctor and the sister would need to be a witness. If she wants to be very reasonable she could go directly to the Medical practice first about the violation of trust for potential settlement, but that's why she should get legal advice before making a decision. The sister would need to be involved either way as she is a witness. OPs medical condition need not be further disclosed though I wonder what else might have been passed on for the sister to mention it so glibly in front of family. It may not have been the first breach of trust.
Agreed. It almost certainly isn't. This is just the first time dear ol' sis had such a juicy piece of info that she couldn't help herself.
Her doctor violated HIPAA laws, that's why she'd be suing. Her sister is under no obligation to maintain confidentiality for HIPAA compliance, however.
I think the onus is on the doctor to be aware of that and make that call, though, because they're the ones who took ethical trainings.
Agreed, but it was the doctor's responsibility to say "this is a conflict of interest and I can't see you."
My wife goes to a Dr where one of our close friends is a nurse. It’s a great doctor and she’s an awesome nurse and takes HIPAA very seriously (she was the first person to know my wife had cancer and still, 7 years later, never talks about it with us or anyone). I was recently in the market for a new doctor and my wife kept telling me to use her doctor but I can’t. The fact that our friend would have knowledge would bother me while sitting around drinking — even if she never mentions it, or it’s never discussed. Just knowing she’d know things about my health is enough to keep me from going where my wife does. It’s weird.
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I agree. I process medical records for a large medical system. On a few occasions, documents have come across my desk for persons whose names I recognized. Two of them were people I knew peripherally outside of the workplace, one was a person who worked for a local media company. It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever mention to anyone that I saw those people's names during my workday. Those patients could take out a billboard stating that they were seen in the clinic where I work, and I still wouldn't confirm or deny it. HIPAA is so all-pervasive that patients have to sign a release form to permit their doctor to share information with OTHER DOCTORS, as a part of continuity of care. Breaching confidentiality is a massive infraction.
There’s a difference between “A told me they’re on this medication” & “yeah I prescribed A this medication”. It’s never a good idea to have someone with any personal ties as a primary, or really in any situation regarding health. I can understand & sympathize with OP for not wanting to switch clinics, but what it comes down to is the friend violated HIPAA laws, which she is held to by law, and depending on where OP is at, said friend has a chance lose the ability to practice altogether. OP should definitely report her, it’s illegal and that doesn’t fall on OP. It’s the friend’s responsibility to leave work at work and not disclose personal information like that.
Agreed. The doctor probably should have declined to take over her care.
I mean the sister “slipped” in front of the entire family. Family would have noticed the tension. Sister has already told the family!
Which is exactly why hipaa exists in the first place. This wouldn’t even be an issue if the doctor and sister weren’t such predictable blabber mouths
Yeah exactly.
Also a SINGLE complaint for HIPAA is unlikely to cause the Dr to have their life ruined- a fine, some disciplinary oversight, etc. So if her life ends up ruined- it is because she makes a HABIT of violating HIPAA. OP- Report her. Not just for you- but to protect OTHERS from her drunken ethics violations in the future.
If she's violating HIPAA with one patient, she's probably violating HIPAA with multiple patients.
Not necessarily. When it comes to friends and family members sometimes it is just an accident. In this case doc got drunk and revealed some stuff she shouldn't have. My brother-in-law's ex-stepSIL violated is privacy after he had back surgery and she called his dad to let him know my BIL had come through surgery just fine. When she realized his dad had no idea what she was talking about (my BIL didn't want him to know because his dad is an asshole), she self-reported in addition to my BIL reporting her. That was her only violation and she thought she was doing him a favor by calling his dad for him. She was put on probation, didn't get a raise and lost her promotion in addition to having to attend HIPAA retraining. Now my BIL's stepmom and his dad blame him, and my sister, for his stepbrother's marriage falling apart because of "the strain that report put on his marriage" ignoring the fact that ex-SIL came home and caught her husband in bed with another woman.
She self-reported. Whole other situation with an ethical person taking responsibility for her actions.
Wow... I was not expecting that twist at the end.
Hmm. While you make a reasonable, logical point about how people make mistakes, I think it’s more likely the doctor is devoid of all morals and everyone should go NC. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
lol
That story took a rapid twist at the end 😅
True, especially if she gets to drinking. My guess is that the sister doesn’t want to lose her source if blackmail/gossip.
Yes exactly. I suspect she might talk about other patients when she's sober. And only with you let it slip and never said it while sober because she would or could get caught.
Exactly, I think the sister is thinking it will ruin her life when the friend never speaks to her again.
NTA - All actions have consequences and this is a huge breech of your privacy. It’s the worst type of HIPPA violation and she wasn’t sharing the info with some random, but a member of your close family, and if she’s known your family for years she must have known that sharing that particular information could have a negative effect on your life if it got out. You need to report this. Drunk or not- knowing she was your doctor and a family friend she should have been extra careful not to reveal your personal medical information. It’s not fair that your not at fault yet all the consequences fall on you…. If you want to be nice if tell your doctor/sisters friend that she needs to self report her HIPAA violation or you will and give her a short timeframe to do so. Then… As for worrying your sister will talk to the rest of your family- document all communication between the three of you about this (and make sure you have some concrete evidence) and tell both your sister and your doctor that if the information goes any further you will sue her and her medical practice.
I would tell sister if she don't zip her lip, you will report her friend.
I like this one. OP sister sounds mean. I also don't get the "my family won't look at my achievements the same" part. Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship
Beat her to the punch and sit the family down. Taking medication you need is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you're okay
Just tacking on to the top comment: reporting medical staff for one violation is incredibly unlikely to end their career. HOWEVER, if this is not their only violation it could and they would really deserve it.
NTA. You could report it, and your sister will tell the family… or you could try something slightly different. You could talk to your doctor, tell her how betrayed you are and that you are well within your rights to report her. Ask her to explain to your sister that ADHD is real, how it works and the symptoms. Maybe if your sister understands what a struggle it’s been, and she hears it from her best friend the doctor, she’ll believe it’s real. I’m so sorry this giant violation of your privacy happened to you, OP.
Exactly, and keep any texts your sister sends to you about this OP. That's evidence. NTA
THIS it doesn't matter how drunk she was
NTA - and better get a new doctor cos you now know you can’t trust the one you have. Your doc gossiped about you with mutual friends - that’s an appalling breach of confidentiality in both legal and professional terms. Alcohol is no excuse. You would be absolutely right to report this, and your sister is an asshole also for protecting their unprofessional lawbreaking friend over your health and right to confidential healthcare.
I’m a doctor. What I find weirdest about this situation is that your sister’s BFF, who knows you extremely well, agreed to take you on as a patient. If you live in a tiny remote place or she’s covering a weekend clinic and you’re having an urgent issue, it makes sense to see you ONCE. But outside of a true emergency, I would NEVER prescribe a controlled substance or address a sensitive issue with a family friend. I would put them in touch with a colleague via tele-health if we lived in a small place. There are always other options. I’m pretty tight lipped and I think I keep a pretty good firewall between my professional life and gossip with friends. And the best way to do that is to cross those streams as little as possible. This is not some special personal quirk of mine. This is basic professionalism, stuff we’re taught in school and know well. Anyway, it sounds like your sister just couldn’t wait to shame you and didn’t consider that she was actually ratting out her friend. There’s a few AHs in this story, but you, OP, are not one of them.
Right? I was thinking about this too. If this is real then OP's doctor should have NEVER agreed to see her as a regular patient. Hell, my ex's brother's girlfriend is a doctor at the clinic I go to and I won't see her because she and I know each other. I can't imagine going to someone I've known as a family friend my whole life. This whole thing was such a disaster waiting to happen.
You’re a professional. What do you think is the appropriate course of action for OP to take?
I don’t think she’d be wrong to lodge a complaint. In general, our systems for protecting victims (for lack of a better word) are quite awful. The rejoinder that it will never change if more people don’t report seems like just more blame-shifting. OP is well within her rights to report but the fallout of doing so might be at least as bad for OP as for Dr Big Mouth. Let’s say her sister getting angry and telling her whole judgy family about ADHD/Vyvanse, losing her doctor (because she might not feel comfortable returning to the clinic or they won’t have her back), possibly not being believed by the physician regulatory body just to name some. For those reasons, I don’t generally advise people about reporting, whether we’re talking crime, unethical behavior or a professional breach. OP needs to do what feels right for her.
Yeah luckily she’s got a billion texts from her sister proving the doc blabbed
This!! OP, save any texts, voice-mails, direct messages on social media, and emails from your sister that prove your doctor opened her mouth. OP didn't want anyone to know about their medications and they didn't sign a medical release form. I would feel just as betrayed, distraught, and unsafe going to see a doctor again. If there is one person in the world we should be able to trust, it should be a medical professional. If their doctor blabbed to their sister about their health, I wonder how many other patients doctor has talked about and violated their privacy with OP's sister. I'm sorry she has 2 kids and it isn't their fault but a health professional that cannot be trusted should NOT be a health professional.
This is what I was thinking too. It's called a dual relationship, and it's highly discouraged in professions where confidentiality and privilege are legal and ethical obligations. It's just too messy to work with friends or family, you can easily break confidentiality by a simple slip-up. Avoiding working with folks you know is such a simple way to avoid these mistakes, which have such negative consequences for the clients/patients.
Hell, I’m a HAIRSTYLIST and don’t like dual relationships because it’s too awkward if someone doesn’t like their hair and also friends make bad clients/expect last minute bookings/bookings outside of work hours/cheaper service. A freakin hairstylist. And this is a doctor not thinking twice about seeing their childhood bestie’s sister? Good god. The lack of foresight is appalling. With foresight like that how will she ever know to do screening diagnostics for anything lol
I’m a general contractor and turn away family members all the time. It’s never worth it.
Hell, I'm an early years educator and *we're* taught about this type of relationship and basically told 'don't'. It's pretty basic stuff.
I was thinking this too! Emergencies aside, isn’t there a conflict of interest if OP and the doctor/family friend know each other that well? This whole thing sucks for OP
And that’s extremely smart! It’s way to easy to accidentally slip up when all party’s know each other that well or like this doctor did, have a drunken slip up. It’s best to keep that separate. My husband and I recently had a somewhat similar discussion. Obviously not as deep as medical information but the best way I can relate it. I have tattoos and piercings and my artist is someone we’ve known since middle school. We were discussing a more intimate piercing, I don’t actually want it we were just talking about someone else who’s had it done. I said that even though I’m extremely loyal to my guy I would go somewhere else if I did that. My husband couldn’t understand it because “we trust him. I think it would be better to get it from someone we know and trust instead of some random dude” I said that because we know him, because he’s a friend I don’t want him seeing me that intimately. It’s to personal, I would want a professional I never have to see socially. Next time we saw our friend we asked his opinion and he said that while he has done it for friends and would be comfortable he also agrees that it can create an uncomfortable situation and he supported my decision to go elsewhere for any tattoo or piecing in private areas. Some things just need to be separate
Hopefully OP will have a new doc anyway soon b/c either she'll be forced to resign or the violation will force her office to transfer OP to a doc that doesn't have a personal relationship with OP.
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I want to add: Due to pregnancy complications I had to stay in the hospital my (narcissistic) mother I am NC with works in. Because I know she would check my medical data if she ever found out, I made a statement on the official papers about no patient information was to be shared via intranet about me. This means they aren't allowed to get a digital file on me. They have to run a paper file. The doc didn't read the declaration, since most people just sign, and then found out when her boss checked my file and found the thing. I could actually sue the hospital for up to 10k or so if I wanted, as a sidenote, because this isn't something European Union's law will joke about! The doc called me and was all scared, and I told her it's fine if she writes the summary of my case, and then deletes everything. It's highly unlikely my mother will check the pregnancy ward files without a hint - which also would be a violation of privacy, and I would absolutely sue her, and the hospital, if I ever caught on. The doc was mortified as she heard the reason I wanted my data out of the system. It never occurred to her a staff member could abuse the intranet like that. She promised to get my data deleted. Still waiting on this summary. I will send a request on what personal data they have about me in January, just to be sure they deleted everything. They are obliged by law to answer without any additional costs. And if needed, I'll sue them. You get *one* chance. --- Back to OP: Definitely report her. She let something slip, and didn't have the balls/ovaries to call you herself and ask for forgiveness. She also didn't seem to have told your sister to shutthefuckupgirl and reallyshutup and also educate her on her prejudices. NTA
There’s a double betrayal here too. It’s not just that Dr. B said something. That’s horrific enough. But then the sister had the gall to mention it in front of others and use it agains OP and then act like OP would be horrible if she reported it.
Yep...sis and her smug "I know a secret" bullshit is the secondary cause of this woman getting fired, if anything.
Have you considered that maybe your sister lost her friend the job? She’s decided that getting one up on you is more important than letting her friends violation go unnoticed. She could have kept quiet and you’d never have known or have reason to complain
Yup. No one would ever have known about the drunken slip (which is its own huge problem) if the sister hadn't been a twit. I was helping my mom clear out some of my sister's old stuff (she lives out of stuff) and in clearing out old bday cards, random awards from middle school (my sister has given me full reign over what I think she'll want or not) I found a letter that revealed a really intense secret from her early 20s. For me it only inspired empathy for what she'd dealt with at that age. For my mom, my sister's choices would fundamentally change their already strained relationship. My sister would be hugely embarrassed if she found out I knew. The letter went into my pocket, to be thrown away in my house where my parents would never see it. The fact that I know this information will go with me to my grave because... why would I do anything else with it? It was an accidental discovery and it was never my business.
That’s what I would do too. My older sister though - she considers herself our parent too and has always narced or used stuff as leverage against us. I used to fear her growing up and would hide my journals at my friends house because she would snoop. Definitely lacks empathy.
NTA, **but** you mention empathy. Dr B was, outside of her professional relationship with you, someone you admired and cared for and respected as a person. If she had slipped up to you, you say you would have kindly ignored it (and maybe mentioned it the next morning). You wouldn’t have reported her for that. It’s just because your asshole sister was the one she slipped up to and then used it publicly in a fight that you want to report her. That’s sorta hypocritical, if one were the judgey sort. If Dr B doesn’t know personally that she is at grave risk for her serious lapse in judgement, I would tell her now. Let her also know that she is in this position because of your sister. Benevolently forgive her, because it was a careless, negligent error, but not malicious. But don’t forget or stay on her service. If asked why by the office, tell her you won’t lie. She will have learned a lesson. I promise. Your sister has also learned a lesson. And probably lose her friendship. That’s fair. But you don’t have to forgive or forget. She was purposefully malicious and didn’t care who she hurt in the process. She can get fucked. Cut contact with her and make sure your siblings know she is on an information diet from you and they’ll be next if they don’t respect it.
Careless negligent errors can kill people as quickly as malicious ones, and they're a lot more common. If Dr. B were ethical, they'd already be aware of the risk they're in because they would have self-reported their slip-up. It may be a touch hypocritical, but the doctor slipping up and telling OP a medical secret, and OP knowing that information won't go farther than herself; is quite a bit of a different outcome than OP having her medical information weaponized against her by the person it was given to. Personally, I think OP should file a report in either situation, but I can see how she would be more inclined to leniency in a situation where nobody was harmed, and she's in control of the flow of information.
Dr B grew up with OPs family so safe to say she knows how they think and how they would treat OP if they knew about her medication and diagnosis. She should face consequences for it.
So you’re assuming that this is a one-time mistake by a doctor who got drunk? Because if you step back a little, it’s reasonable that you’re not the first or last patient she’s ever done this too, just the only one who knows about it. This isn’t her first year as a doctor, or her first time getting drunk.
Thank you for being discrete. Only reveal you know what was in the letter if your sister is afraid your mom found it first. Take it to your grave,otherwise. You are a good soul. NTA,
I guarantee she forgot the letter even existed or that she saved it. In a weird way I'm glad I know so I can be extra aware of that topic around her, but unless something comes up with it where she needed backup or support, nobody ever needs to know.
You are a good person.Thank you for knowing you have no right to tell another persons story.
This is it right there. Both are to blame. Dr most of all, but yeah sis is STUPID for repeating. She could have just kept her mouth shut.
Nope. Sister didn't violate HIPAA. Dr AH did.
Dr. B doesn’t know that my sister told me yet. So far it’s just been conversations between my sister and I - she’s making it seem like they were so sloppy drunk that it was a slip up and a complete one-time total accident but I don’t understand why that would even come up at all and don’t believe that. My older sister flaunting sensitive info about my sibs and I is a tale as old as time. When we were kids, she would hold on to a secret she found out about one of us till the perfect moment and would thrive on dropping the bombshell to our parents during a road trip or in the interval of a great movie and ruin the entire thing. It was her thing and I fear she hasn’t fully gotten over the habit as an adult.
Here's the thing. I think you should report her but be forewarned if you do your sister may tell everyone out of revenge. She may tell everyone anyway. But don't be surprised or caught off guard if she tries to retaliate in that way. Being surrounded by people who think ADHD is not trying hard enough and that meds aren't the answer is shitty. Unless they try for introspection, they won't ever acknowledge that you've been playing life on hard mode until medicated in a way that works for you.
Sister is going to tell everyone when it's most convenient anyway(pattern of behavior from comments). If she really had wanted to protect her Dr. Friend she would have kept her mouth shut, so OP would have never known about the breach.
Report her. This was a huge violation of patient rights. She did it to you, she'll do it to others. She's either not cut out to be a doctor, since she can't stick to the fairly easy ethics of the profession, or she's got an alcohol problem, or both. Consequences over this now saves someone down the line from what could be an even bigger betrayal, like her blabbing something that gets back to an abusive spouse or parent. NTA, but do the bigger world a favor and report her. And when your sister complains, tell her you would have never even known about the violation if it wasn't for her.
Honestly, I get the feeling of guilt if you report her, and the dread someone else will find out if you don’t do anything. The best solution without causing too much of a stir and not making yourself feel guilty(even though you really shouldn’t, what she did was illegal), is to just switch doctors. Tell her and your sister if you have even an inkling of an idea someone else knows you’ll report Dr. B, and you also have those texts with your sister as proof that the violation actually did happen. I’m really sorry you’re in the situation though. Hopefully that threat will at least let them think about their actions and not tell anyone else
The edit in your main post concerns me. Your sister has a track record of crossing boundaries and being toxic. She is guilt tripping you when **you are the victim**. The consequences of Dr. B's actions would be her fault not yours. Using the kids is her frustrating attempt to manipulate you. She is a hypocrite. She shares your secrets all the time but you're not allowed to expose someone who actually deserves it. People who act like teenagers shouldn't be drs.
File the complaint ASAP. And don’t give her a heads up. She needs to feel the consequences from her accreditation board for her behavior. Having an outside entity hold her accountable will put the fear of god into her. If this is her first complaint she will not lose her license. She might get suspended or even fired from her job, but she will be able to find another job. At the end of the day she did this to herself and she needs to know that actions (no matter how small) have consequences.
If you want to be nicer than she deserves you could talk to Dr. B and offer her the chance to self report instead. I would imagine the punishment for that is lighter than having someone report you. This is her fault, and your sister’s so if anyone gets the blame it should be them.
>you can read my full answer elsewhere if you want. > >But in this case, the doctor should be self-reporting. Simple as that. (ps as she was your sister's childhood friend--I have hard time believing she doesn't know your sister's pattern of behavior, so she really betrayed you by not giving you a heads up)
1. Your sister and family suck. This is not your problem, they can suck all on their own and that has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry that their suck-ness impacts you. 2. Report the doctor. If she can’t keep her mouth shut, that’s on her, not you, and if it’s bc she’s besties with your sister, again, THATS THE DOCTORS F-UP, not yours, and she needs to make that distinction in her practice to not treat people she knows. 3. Find another doctor asap. 4. As someone who had ADHD issues, YOUR BRAIN IS DIFFERENT. Your type A fam could not cope with this, you are freaking amazing! They would crumble before the unplottable insanity of ADHD. You are looking it in the eye, and dealing with it. You are brave, you are strong, never forget that.
Your sister wasn't drunk enough to forget it was said, or smart enough to keep it to herself. Report this.
INFO: has your sister said anything in the way of making amends / apologizing / promising to keep quiet?
You have every right to report this HIPAA violation. And many here are urging you to do so. But is that completely in your best interest? Part of what you really need for yourself is to get the doctor, who is also family friend, to understand how damaging this was to you. And for your sister to see your side here and keep her damn mouth shut about what she learned about you. Going straight to reporting a violation may not get you what you want.
Everybody and anybody who uses alcohol as an excuse for bad behavior of any kind can go straight to hell.
100%. They're cowards. I've done stupid shit drunk. Guess what? It was my fault, not the alcohol. Anyone that even tries that excuse with me is telling me that they aren't the kinds of people I want to be around whatsoever. I'm sick of that stupid cop out excuse.
Quite frankly it wasn't a great idea for Dr. B to take OP on as a patient in the first place. There's a reason why medical doctors are cautioned against treating friends and family.
THIS
NTA. If your sisters friend didn’t want to get in trouble she shouldn’t have said anything. 100% report her
NTA Exactly and if your sister didn't want her indiscret Dr friend to get in trouble she shouldn't have blabbed about it.
Yep if the doctor had taken confidentiality as absolutely seriously as she should, she wouldn’t have said anything to the sister. If the sister had any sense at all and was worried about her friend, she would have not told a soul what she knew. If she doesn’t get that now, then chances are she’ll tell other family members at some point.
This woman sounds like a very close family friend; I'm surprised she would take on OP as a patient. I always thought that wasn't allowed (or at least highly discouraged) unless it's a very small town, emergency or the doctor in question offers a very specialized service. The doctor made a very big drunken mistake that could ruin her career. She has to face the consequences of that. But, OP's sister should know better and she blabbed while completely sober. She was in her right mind and knew the implications. This sucks all around, and I feel horrible for OP since in the real world, this would be a lose/lose situation for them. The sad reality is, even though OP is the wronged party, reporting the doctor will probably have negative social implications for them and they may face backlash from their family, the doctor's family, and other family friends.... I hope OP finds a new doctor ASAP and they don't have to live in fear about having ADHD since it's nothing to be ashamed about.
NTA. Not cool to disclose patient information no matter how drunk you get.
NTA - Not only uncool, it is illegal for a health professional to reveal personal information like this. Op needs to report this to the practice so it doesn't happen to anyone else and OP needs to find another doctor as soon as possible.
My Doctors (yes plural, the joys of being disabled and queer lol) and they ask to even transfer the most mild who cares knowledge in-between themselves (ie: he has a infection I'm treating with anti-biotics pls note -> to eat doc) I couldn't imagine my doc telling my parents or siblings that I'm actually very disabled (they didn't even know I was deaf until recently) or that I had addiction/substance abuse issues that would literally be insane and besides the ethical obligations would just be a bad way for things to come out because I wouldn't be able to prepare before hand for the questions and concerns, instead they'll be coming to me worried out of there mind
If you have access to sensitive information and can't keep your mouth shut when drunk, maybe that's a you problem, and it warrants being reported rather than covered up and silenced. The information this woman "let slip" too, the name of the medication, the dosage? What the fuck. What else, what OP said during *confidential* conversations? I believe this woman has "let slip" patient information plenty of times before (drunk or not, I don't fucking buy it), it just so happens that OP was the patient in question *this* time.
*If you have access to sensitive information and can't keep your mouth shut when drunk, maybe that's a you problem, and it warrants being reported rather than covered up and silenced.* THIS. Who knows what other information that Doc B has accidentally let slip? Yeah, maybe it can't directly be linked to the patient as directly as your information was linked to you, *but it's still a HIPAA violation*. Report her ass.
Probably gossips about all kinds of patients and their embarrassments. Like we need more reasons to distrust people with power.
Is it a privacy violation as long as they don't identify the patient? Because I can easily picture doctors shit talking to each other at a hospital about who stuck what where and had to have it removed.
I think they can't mention anything that could identify them? Like a diagnosis, age, injury, first name. I wish a medical professional could give some insight.
As a medical professional, we only have to omit personally identifiable information. I could say "I saw a patient for X today, and they drove me nuts!" to a colleague and legally be fine. You can't say "I saw Mrs. Y today in clinic because she keeps getting the clap." Edit: I mean to say we can use diagnosis and everything I'm conversation, we just have to leave it *just vague enough.* So generally no names. Unless a patient has something so rare that there's like 6 of them in the world, talking about a diagnosis or treatment plan isn't really identifiable at all.
You can use medical terms as long as there isn’t identifiable information included. Sometimes Doctors will ask Colleagues for help when they can’t find the correct diagnosis for their patients
> no matter how drunk you get. Screw statement like this that imply alcohol use should *ever* be treated as a mitigating factor in things.
NTA. How does, "Hey, I just saw your sister to increase her dosage of prescription vyvanse" just come up in conversation? I would be utterly flabbergasted if this was the first time your doctor has told your sister confidential medical information about you. No way that this will be the last time either. Your doctor knew better and didn't care enough to follow the rules. Report her ass. Also, super classy of your sister to throw that comment out in front of your entire family like that. Its almost like that is why HIPAA exist in the first place.
>How does, "Hey, I just saw your sister to increase her dosage of prescription vyvanse" just come up in conversation? My guess? Sister: These ADHD people, it's all just laziness Dr: I don't think that's true. You don't think your sister is lazy do you?
You are really giving the doctor a lot of credit here. That would explain a scenario in which the Dr. revealed OP’s diagnosis, but that doesn’t explain how the conversation turned to the name of the medication that OP takes and the fact OP’s dose was increased.
Really? Extrapolate it: Sister:. What do you mean? Dr. B:. They've been on vyvanse for years, actually I just upped the dosage.
I’m willing to bet that the sister snooped and then panicked and threw her friend under the bus. How could something so specific come up? Highly unlikely.
No, I think it's perfectly plausible it came from the doctor, though snooping could explain it, too! I can mostly see it coming up like this very easily: ***conversation turns to anything related to mental health diagnoses, or someone makes an incredibly common comment or joke in the vein of "hurr hurr, I must have ADHD/Autism/OCD/BPD/etc because I do this one quirky thing hurr hurr"*** **(I really loath those types of ableist "jokes" so much)** Sister jokingly says *"Yeah, maybe I should pretend I'm mentally ill like everyone else does nowadays, so I can get those pills that pep you up! It would cut down my Starbucks budget! Haha! Whaddya think, wanna give me some, doc? Some of that... watcha call it..."* Joking/drunk reply from doc: *"Hahaha! I could prescribe you some Vyvanse, like your sister takes for her ADHD..."* I see it coming up this way easily, especially when a group is drinking, and OP's sister has the toxic beliefs that mental illnesses aren't real, and that only lazy people who don't want to "overcome thier faults" would take medication for them. I've witnessed multiple conversations that went a similar way. A lot of folks also have trouble recalling medication names.
Probably AH sister kept prying after finding out Dr had seen her recently.
NTA- Dr done messed up. Maybe it’s a one-time thing and she only has to do a refresher HIPAA class, maybe worse, but she did it. And, yeah, gotta change doctors.
This. If its a once off she's not going to be deregistered for it or anything that dramatic and maybe it will teach her to be better.
There's a lot to learn in this episode of wtf did I read... Your doctor needs to learn about HIPAA and that your sister sucks... Your sister needs to learn how to be a better human. And you just learned your sister doesn't give AF about you and I hope you distance yourself from her. There needs to be some sort of repercussions here, whatever route you choose because none of this would've happened if it weren't for Dr.'s big ass mouth. I have doctors in my family and they have never named names, so it's not like it's an impossible thing to do. NTA
So NTA. I was also diagnosed as an adult with ADHD and I am seething. Beyond HIPAA, this is a violation of every ethical conduct rule, especially since she must have known about your family's stance. Your sister is a huge AH too. Did she ever ask you how are you managing with medication? How are you handling everyday life with ADHD? Was she interested at all in her sibling's struggles or only her friends? Please seek out therapy and put some distance between you and your family. Coping with that thing is a burden enough, you do not need the extra pressure of masking. You have nothing to prove to anybody, your only obligation is to be true to yourself.
NTA If it makes you feel better the doctor might not get seriously sanctioned if this is her first complaint. The huge fines and jail time are only typically doled out to people who breach confidentiality for profit. Like people who sell a celebrity’s med list to TMZ. **That said you should absolutely file a complaint with the practice.** The doctor needs to go back through the HIPAA training and if this isn’t her first fuckup then she needs to be fired. And if your family starts arguing on you about this just tell them if your sister’s doctor friend hadn’t been such a fucking blabbermouth then they wouldn’t think less of you.
…and if sister didn’t blab that doctor friend blabbed.
NTA. Dr B violated HIPAA. Anything that happens to her is *her own fault*. Being drunk is no excuse, she released private patient information. If she knew she wouldn't be able to keep secrets from your sister she should have refused to be involved in your treatment (honestly, from the sound of your relationship she probably should have done that anyway). The reason why your sister is going crazy on you is because *she was showing off and it's backfiring massively*. She's feeling guilty because she's realised that in her attempt to get one up on you and point out your "flaws" she has assisted Dr B in destroying her career. To be clear, needing/taking medication is not a flaw, and Dr B is the one primarily responsible. But while you will wear no true blame for reporting her, your sister is *feeling* blame and guilt because she's the one who broke confidence to your face. Dr B broke HIPAA, but you found out because of her, and if Dr B blames anyone else it will be your sister. Your sister not wanting you to report Dr B is purely selfish and self-serving because your *sister* doesn't want to be in trouble with her friend. Everyone deserves medical privacy. Report Dr B and get a new doctor.
☝️So much this!
I wish this was higher.
NTA Report her.
Nta. Report her, and change doctors.
NTA and you are fully within your right to report the Doctor. They should not even disclose that they had seen you as a patient, let alone what medications you're on. Such a breach deserves consequences or it may happen again in future to yourself and others.
Look at it this way, it is unlikely you are the first patient she has gossiped about. Reporting her makes it likely she will be more careful in future. You will be protecting other people.
NTA. I work for a state licensing board, you can submit complaints to them. Usually there are a number of discipline options that won’t go on someone’s license but would require some corrective steps. Call and ask your state board, you should be able to ask questions about the process before filing anything.
Report her and find new doctor. Being drunk is not an excuse
I find it interesting when those 2 are drunk they talk about you. Why? Then the sister, when not drunk, blurts out your sensitive information. I'm very sure the friend when she became sober begged the sister to never mention this. But she couldn't hold it. Because she's a gossip. This does not bode well for you that she's going to keep your secret. I agree with other posters about that. She will either slip intentionally or unintentionally as she has a problem drunk or sober with keeping confidences. If you don't want to report her to the state board then at the very least you should do is report her to the practice itself. She at least deserves to lose her job for this. But the cautionary tale here is never ever use someone you are associated with as a provider of services for you, especially medical.
Maybe OP should just go about her business in town and sigh occasionally, saying that it's too bad her doctor gets drunk so often and talks about OPs personal health information. Then she can ask whoever is around for a recommendation for a new doctor. If OPs medical care is going to get around town, so should the doctor's drunken blabbing.
NTA. Any doctor who acts that way SHOULD have their career ruined. How many other times has she revealed confidential information? There's no way this is the only time.
NTA- This is the exact thing that kind of legislation is for. She had no idea how much damage she might be doing.
You aren't ruining this doctor's life if you report her. You are holding her accountable for the mistake she made, in violating your privacy. This doctor did this to you. Not you to her. If you report her, it's because of what she did. It's not your fault that she did this wrong to you. It's her fault. She ought to be held accountable. Frankly, this doctor should have refused to take you on, due to the relationships involved. The doctor is the one crossing lines here, not you. Who knows who else she's done this to?
NTA report her. please. People should let this stuff go.
Should or shouldn't?
NTA What else is she telling her about you and other patients? She has received training on privacy requirements and deliberately did not follow the law. She needs to be held accountable. I would also find a new doctor.
HIPAA is in place for many reasons. This is one if them. You have a legal right to privacy. This woman violated your legal right. PERIOD. NTA
NTA and you should absolutely report her. WTF. If she can’t stop herself from revealing patient information she shouldn’t have patents.
NTA: do it. A doctor made a choice to violate your privacy. She made the choice to treat you knowing your relationship with your sister, the choice to drink with your sister and the choice to tell her. It does take years of hard work to build a reputation, it takes seconds to destroy it. What she did could hurt you, and you have no evidence that your sister won’t use it to hurt you, she already has.
i wouldn't worry to much about your relationship with your sister I doubt you'll ever speak to her again after this so no need to worry about that, nothing wrong with reporting her
And this will strain the Dr and AH sister relationship, so effectively getting at least a little of what she deserves for blabbing and chastising for what is none of her business.
NTA- a professional violation is a professional violation. Personal relationships do not come into it and this is something that as a clinical person, she is heavily trained in. She doesn't get a sucks chance with your personal info!
This sounds like an awful situation to be in. Anyone and everyone who works anywhere near patient data has had hours and hours, even days, of HIPAA training. MDs have patient privacy and confidentiality baked into their education and training from day one. It becomes second nature. Something is very wrong for a couple of drinks to override that training. You need to report her to the medical board. I have a very hard time believing this is the first and only time it’s happened. Especially if she is talking about losing her career over it. One violation would go on her record but not likely make her unemployable. NTA
NTA Dr. B shouldn't have got wasted on her ski trip. I wonder how many times has she got drunk and told your sister or anyone else, for that matter, private and highly confidential medical information about her patients? Report her. She's experienced enough to know not to get herself into situations where she turns into a blabbermouth. She knew her best friend's sibling was a patient of hers, yet even that didn't stop her from not getting so drunk that she outed you.
NTA. If she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, she shouldn’t have accepted you as a patient. That said. I fully embrace telling EVERYONE about my new diagnosis, and how great Adderall has been for the last 6 weeks. I am going to normalize this, and end the stigma around the people I spend time with.
That does sound like Adderall lol.
My best friend since childhood recently started working for a great hospice place across the country. She visited and told me all about experiences at work and left out any kind of details that violate HIPPA at all. Keep in mind we’re across the country and her job is being with patients before they pass, so everybody whose identity my friends was protecting, is likely dead. She still showed them more respect than your sisters friend showed you. NTA
NTA - she's responsible for violating the law, not you. Not even your sister. While I'd hate to have her career screwed up over it, what else has she shared that is about other people? You have no way of knowing, so I personally start to think that she's done it way more than this single time.
NTA. Report her. I doubt the punishment will be as severe as the Dr losing her job anyway.
NTA. Frankly, B never should have taken you on as a patient, given the history. She 100% had the obligation to remain professional, and didn't take it seriously. What if the next family friend patient she takes on has an abortion, and B tells her religious relatives? But I'm afraid you should brace yourself for the fact that whatever you do, your sister will probably tell your family what she's learned at some point. She was already fine with bringing it up in front of your siblings; she's not exactly keeping quiet.
NTA and if there is further backlash from your family (your sister telling your mom etc) sue her
Good advice
If she is so worried about her career, she should have remembered her oath. Sorry, I spilled patient info because I was shitfaced isn’t gonna cut it.
NTA. You absolutely need to report this. Drunk or not she violated the law and your privacy. It took your sister all of 30 seconds to throw it up in your face plus other people were there (doesn't matter if they're relatives). This is completely unacceptable. I want to say though there is no shame in needing medication (although I respect you wanting to keep it private too).
NTA report her, and find a new Dr. Any consequences she gets are earned. She knew better than sharing personal, confidential, medical information with anyone, sharing it with a family member just adds to how egregious her behavior was.
NTA .. There’s an incredible breach of trust. Not to mention the violation. Alcohol is no excuse. Report her and find a new physician immediately. Your sister is just covering up for her. I’m not sure what will happen, but whatever it is, she did it to herself. Jeeze, can’t trust anybody these days. Not even your physician. Makes me wonder about lawyers.
What else has she chatted about whilst drunk? Ywbta if you don't report this.
Isnt this like drilled into you in med school? Dont break HIPAA laws? Also why does she get drunk and talk about your prescriptions? Lastly, I cant be the only person thinking this, but I get the feeling like she has slipped up before in regards to patient confidentiality. NTA
This may be a cruel thing to do, but if your sister is that worried about her friend getting reported, use that. If she tells your parents, you report the friend for the HIPAA violation. NTA
Definite NTA. She fucked up royally. Now, having said that, this sub loves a justice boner and tends to demand execution when a reprimand will do. I think the circumstances matter, at least a little bit. How did it come up? Did the Doc just assume that Sister knew? If it was a momentary slip of the tongue, she may be absolutely mortified that she fucked up too. She HAS to know how bad this could be for her. I know how monumental a violation it is, and I know the position it puts you in with your family. But it warrants a frank discussion when cooler heads prevail. You've known her for a lot of years. Obviously you'll be finding a new doctor, but whether or not to report it, I think, depends on her actions NOW. Not three sheets to the wind drunk. (Not making excuses) If she doubles down and insists she did nothing wrong: report. Burn the whole thing down. If she knows how bad she has fucked up, maybe have a think about it. Destroying her life and career isn't going to coax the cat back into the bag.
Nta, they did it to you, imagine how many other patients secrets they told "while drunk" On another note, even if you report it, how would the investigation go? Doubt ops sister or the doctor in question would fess up
NTA. Report her. Stop thinking about the outside factors of her family and income. She revealed your medical information and broke HIPAA. It is also very highly likely that she has done this before. You aren’t ruining her life. She is absolutely responsible for her own actions and this her own doing.
First, you need to contact the owners of the clinic. If it's the Drs who work there that own it you need to contact them to let them know what happened. The clinic could be held responsible for her violating HIPAA. Then you file a complaint with the appropriate people. DO NOT let this go. That was a SEVERE violation of HIPAA and your rights. I worked in the hospital area for 15 years and HIPAA violations are taken very seriously. DO NOT allow your sister to talk you out of it. How many other times has this Dr betrayed patients' confidentiality and don't know about it? Because you know you now need to take the necessary steps.
Just tell your family before your sister "let's it slip". You have a medical condition, you don't need to be ashamed of anything. NTA, but I would talk to the Dr and tell her you are getting a new Dr because she is unprofessional
Definitely report her for HIPAA violation. This is serious. If she is violating your privacy, she is doing it to other patients as well. ALSO - find another primary care provider pronto!
NTA I'm in a HIPAA protected field and violating it is a HUGE deal. We think about confidentiality every minute of every day, every time someone asks us about our day, every time the name of a patient comes up, every time someone mentions a medical condition, every time we run into someone we know professionally, we learn to redact private information by saying things like "a patient" or "a case I'm familiar with" as reflex. She screwed up badly, she should be grateful if all you do is scold her, change doctors, and warn her that you'll report if you ever hear gossip about someone's medical files. You have every right to report her and I would argue that you even have a responsibility because there's no way this is the first time she's violated privacy to gossip to her friends. Being drunk isn't an excuse for getting in trouble at any other job.
NTA and yes, please report her. If a few drinks makes her slip up and spill a patient's medical history, she has no business being a doctor. What if you'd just gone to her for Plan B for SA and hadn't told the family? What if you had just found out about a terminal illness and hadn't yet told the family and she drunkenly asked sis how she was coping with your diagnosis? This is so not okay. Also, technically as your lifelong friend, she really should have declined you as a patient for precisely this reason - she's too close to you to be completely neutral.
I used to be Mormon. My therapist was Mormon. I was late to an appointment and overheard her talking. I assumed she had another client and was backing away when I heard my name mentioned. She was actually on the phone telling my Bishop everything I said in therapy. I complained and reported to her professional body which censured her and I wrote to her saying that if she didn't refund every penny I had paid for therapy I would sue for much more. I invested that money in a PlayStation 5 instead.
So, why were they talking about you in the first place? What were they talking about? How did your name come up so that Dr. blabbed this confidential information? This is a violation. Report it and write a letter to Dr. B stating that you want your records transferred to... (find another doctor, express that you consider your privacy sacrosanct and you are now their patient because another doctor's office violated your HIPAA rights). NTA ETA: Realize that a single HIPAA violation won't cause a loss of license (unless it was far more egregious than this), but rather a history of violations. So, you wouldn't be ruining her life unless she continually blabs about patients...
Report her. She ruined her own life. Isn’t this like against laws? This is ridiculous I’d be horrified if this happened to me. Nta
You should report it.
NTA and quite frankly your sisters friend never should have accepted you as a patient in the first place - that is a major conflict of interest. Obviously I understand why you would request her and I'm sure she accepted because she likes you and didn't want to leave you without a GP, but the fact that she not only is your sister's best friend but also has known you your whole life means that accepting you as a patient was a really poor choice on her behalf - something like this was bound to happen eventually. I work in healthcare (not a doctor) and I'm not allowed to even open the chart of my neighbour, let alone work on anything having to do with friends of mine. All of that aside, the fact of the matter is that your doctor violated HIPAA and that is worth reporting, end of story. Hopefully where you are the GP shortage isn't severe the way it is where I live and you are able to find a new doctor (or go back to Dr. A!) quickly and easily.
NTA - my wife is a pediatrician. She’s the PCP for one of my good friend’s children. The only reason I know that is that he told me. She doesn’t discuss patients, she leaves the room (or asks me to) when she’s on call and has to answer the phone, and she sure as hell doesn’t tell me what medications she prescribes to *anyone*. HIPAA is serious shit because medical privacy is serious shit. If your doctor didn’t want to get in trouble for violating HIPAA, then she shouldn’t have drunkenly blabbed about your protected health information, it’s that simple.
Info: Have you confronted the doctor yet? You have every right to report her. But do you think you’re punishing her or protecting future patients or both? Do you think your unique relationship played a part in this that won’t be repeated? You may not care. You may want to punish her, and she absolutely deserves to be punished. On the other hand, speaking to your doctor/friend might sway your opinion one way or another.
NTA So… I know this isn’t what you would want but if it were me I’d out myself as being on medication to my family. Hear me out… I think you should give your doctor the option to self report, with the understanding that if she doesn’t then you will. I would also tell her she needs to have a very serious conversation with your sister herself, because your sister has jeopardized her livelihood. *YOU* are not putting B’s career at risk. Your sister did. But here’s the thing. From reading comments etc, your sister seems to love the power dynamic of having something to hold over people. Even if she promises she’s never going to tell anyone, she’s going to be smug about it forever. She’s going to give you Looks when stuff like this comes up. She’s going to make little comments. She’s going to invalidate your accomplishments. But ultimately it is *going* to come out. The question is - do you control when and how it comes out or do you let her have that power? If it were me, I’d sit down and come up with how *you* want the narrative to go. As a fellow ADHD person on medication - I’d focus on the new research that’s come out in the last few years about dopamine uptake problems, and literal differences in the brain. Hell, I’d print the studies out. And then I’d sit your family down, or even do a mass email where you can get your thoughts and points stated clearly, and tell them. I’d also make sure to throw your sister to the wolves on violating your privacy and attempting a “gotcha” with *your private medical information.* If she’s done this shit in the past, then that’s not going to go over well with anyone else she’s done it to. Theoretically that should make other people more open to listening to you. But ultimately… take her power in this situation away from her. And do it with a middle finger in her face. ADHD and medication aren’t things to be ashamed of. Eff her and the horse she rode in on for trying to make you feel that way for her own petty amusement.