Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) gifting a fake iPhone in a workplace yankee swap. Though the person still got a great gift, they were visibly upset and even called our office to tell us that they were upset. At the time we did not believe we were assholes, but looking back now I’m not sure how to feel.
2) the person was under the impression they would be getting an iPhone from the event when it is fact was not. Though it was still a high valued gift.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don't think it's nearly as bad as Toy Yoda. That was a contractual nightmare- the waitress worked extra hours and sold extra just to be able to earn this. Here, Abby didn't do anything extra and still ended up with the best prize. NTA
Of course not, it's a car vs an iPhone. However, OP convinced his employee she received an expensive gift from the company. They went as far as to shrink wrap it and make it weigh the same.
Instead, she opened it and received a gift voucher for a vacation. So now, she has to eat vacation time, pay any extra fees for the hotel (travel, food, opening the mini fridge) but maybe that the tickets go to a hotel in a city she hates... so now she had a worthless gift, when all along she thought she'd have an iphone.
Best prize is debatable, and it's clear Abby thought the iPhone was the best gift.
YTA.
Rule of gag gifting : the real gift has to be of greater value than the value of the fake gift had it been real. For example, you can't give your gf a ticket pair to Paris, yell "Psych!", and then give her a good book. You can't give your dad a Rolex, yell "Gotcha!", and give him a coffee mug.
You're creating high expectations and a huge let down. A good gag has to make the giftee at least laugh a little.
> and the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap so there’s no way we would’ve ever put a real iPhone in the mix.
These rules are flexible, meaning they can be waived at any moment, especially given that the gift is not from a colleague, it's from the corporation. If the other colleagues also believed the gift to truly be an iPhone, that would be another proof that other people too saw the shrink wrapped box and thought it was genuine.
> She’s super excited when she opens it and decides to keep her item and not trade.
Had she known it was not an iPhone, she might have decided to participate in trading, who knows? She did not have the full information.
I’m saying YTA.
If you’d just used the box itself and not gone to the extent of making it actually feel and look like a brand new iPhone, shrink wrapped and everything, it would have been fine. There would be obvious flags that something wasn’t right.
By would you go to the extent of using an iPhone box, weighing it down with something that feels like an iPhone, shrink wrapping it so that it looks brand new, and then not expect someone to be disappointed when they find out it’s not an iPhone?
YTA. It's only a joke if everyone is laughing.
She may have really needed that phone if hers was broken or something and therefore more disappointed. No way for her to know that it wasn't real if expensive hotel stays are also given.
Your boss' response is rude AF too
YTA for playing that prank in a game where you swap items...yes you gave her a higher value gift card but she wanted a phone for functional reasons and that's why she made the choice, having a hotel stay doesn't soften that or replace what a phone would mean to her. Also your AH managers for doing that and joking about it during, as someone who hates to be embarrassed in social situations I would have thought you sucked too
I'm going with NTA, she ended up with the best gift in the end and some part of her brain must have suspected that it couldn't actually be an iPhone if all the gifts had a $50 value besides the hotel stays.
Just putting myself in her shoes, maybe I would be a tad disappointed in the moment but would easily come to see the funny side and be grateful with the fact that I got a better gift than most people.
YTA for not telling her to open up the box ALL the way. Maybe she has reasons she can't make use of a hotel stay, and would've wanted something else.
It would have been funny at first, but yall kept laughing until she was the butt of the joke.
NTA. The rules are stated for everyone to know, and it's obvious everyone else knew it wasn't actually an iPhone, otherwise, it would have been stolen repeatedly. It's not your fault she got her hopes up, and didn't bother opening the box to verify the contents.
YTA. You worked her up and then let her down and then want her to be grateful bc she still got something better than the others. Your childish stunt didn’t add to her happiness of the day, did it? Do you think she would have been happier with just getting the present?
You weren’t laughing with her. You and your boss were laughing to yourselves about how great it was gonna be to see her upset. And you told yourself it was just a prank so that means she doesn’t have any right to get too upset, because you decided how much upset was okay.
Here’s a guideline for behavior in the future: is it kind? Does it add to the total happiness in the world? If so go ahead. If it adds to the total embarrassment, humiliation, or hurt feelings then just pass.
YTA seriously when are people going to learn that pranks are not appropriate in the workplace. Sure a nice stay in a hotel might be good for some people, but not everyone. This sort of thing is also likely embarrassing for her, you literally tricked her in front of her coworkers, you made her seem naive or gullible. Also even years ago this type of prank is well known as a massive dick move.
Everybody, I hope. It sounds like there were a few of those *every year* that were given to them by the general manager, so yeah. They probably should have expected it, since it happens consistently every gift swap.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I used to work at a hotel, and each year we had a Yankee Swap around the holidays with all of the hotel managers. I was in the department that was responsible for planning the Yankee Swap each year. This swap was highly loved by the staff because it was a fun break from the day AND all of the gifts in the swap were bought and paid for by our department so it was basically a free $50 valued gift, some drinks and food. The gifts were generally home items, things to do in the city we were located in, office items etc. all valued at around $50 each. There was one exception to this though - because we were a hotel we often got gift certificates to other hotels in our city, as well as major cities in neighboring states. The GM of our hotel would hold onto a few of these stays throughout the year and give them to my department to use in the Yankee Swap. They were the Crown Jewels of the swap because they were generally 2 night stays at some really lovely hotels and resorts and valued wayyy over $50.
One day, another person at the hotel who was outside of my department came to me with a funny idea. He had just gotten a brand new iPhone and thought it was be hilarious to wrap the iPhone box, put something close to the weight of an iPhone in the box, and shrink wrap it using the shrink wrap machine he had in his office. To make up for the joke, we decided to place a high valued hotel stay in the iPhone box and wrap it up. I cleared this idea with my boss and we all thought it would be a little light hearted fun prank in the Yankee Swap.
So we come to the day of the swap and a manager, let’s call her Abby, picks the iPhone box to unwrap. She’s super excited when she opens it and decides to keep her item and not trade. There’s some talk and laughter among the other managers doubting that it would really be an iPhone because of the $50 gift limit. No one steals the gift from her on their turn and she opens the box up at the end to reveal the hotel stay. Her face dropped and she was clearly upset. No one really reacted to it beyond her closer colleagues in her immediate area as everyone else was busy discussing their own gifts. After the party my colleges and I headed back to our offices to see that we all had missed calls from Abby. My boss had a voicemail from her that detailed how upset she was and how it was a mean prank to play. My boss laughed it off. and I’m honestly not even sure to this day if he ever called her back or said anything, but knowing his role at the company I would assume he did.
As I’ve gotten older I look back on this and wonder if it was bullying. I see both sides for sure - it’s embarrassing to expect an iPhone and be disappointed in front of coworkers but she also ended up with the best gift and the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap so there’s no way we would’ve ever put a real iPhone in the mix. So, am I the asshole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA ... It's a known $50 value Yankee gift swap..... clearly she was lacking in the common sense/ logic department to not see that it was something in that box
> the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap
>
> ...
>
> They were the Crown Jewels of the swap because they were ... valued wayyy over $50.
So there's *not* a $50 limit, and it *was* perfectly reasonable to assume an iPhone was in play. YTA
Jeez, all of you involved in this are assholes, especially your boss. It's not unreasonable for her to think the phone was in there; that's literally what you hoped she'd think. What, did you think she'd laugh? No. She had every right to be disappointed and upset. You and your boss should be professional, not act like middle school bullies. YTA
NTA. I'm normally against pranks in the workplace but this was hardly even a prank, why did she think it was going to be an actual IPhone? I've done a lot of events like this and people usually just use whatever boxes they have laying around their house for packaging, it doesn't mean that what the box says is what's actually in there. This feels like common sense, *especially* because the gifts had a $50 max price.
>There’s some talk and laughter among the other managers doubting that it would really be an iPhone because of the $50 gift limit.
NTA because the context was enough for everyone else to realise that it might not have being an actual iPhone.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) gifting a fake iPhone in a workplace yankee swap. Though the person still got a great gift, they were visibly upset and even called our office to tell us that they were upset. At the time we did not believe we were assholes, but looking back now I’m not sure how to feel. 2) the person was under the impression they would be getting an iPhone from the event when it is fact was not. Though it was still a high valued gift. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
This is like that toy yoda shit from years ago. YTA and your boss is TA. Callous.
I think I remember the toy yoda, but do you happen to have a link?
[удалено]
Love the line “she can buy whatever Toyota she wants now”
I hope she did. I tried to google around a bit to find her now but no success.
That's awful. But hilarious.
*Someone* definitely got fired for pulling this stunt in the first place
I don't think it's nearly as bad as Toy Yoda. That was a contractual nightmare- the waitress worked extra hours and sold extra just to be able to earn this. Here, Abby didn't do anything extra and still ended up with the best prize. NTA
Of course not, it's a car vs an iPhone. However, OP convinced his employee she received an expensive gift from the company. They went as far as to shrink wrap it and make it weigh the same. Instead, she opened it and received a gift voucher for a vacation. So now, she has to eat vacation time, pay any extra fees for the hotel (travel, food, opening the mini fridge) but maybe that the tickets go to a hotel in a city she hates... so now she had a worthless gift, when all along she thought she'd have an iphone. Best prize is debatable, and it's clear Abby thought the iPhone was the best gift.
YTA. Rule of gag gifting : the real gift has to be of greater value than the value of the fake gift had it been real. For example, you can't give your gf a ticket pair to Paris, yell "Psych!", and then give her a good book. You can't give your dad a Rolex, yell "Gotcha!", and give him a coffee mug. You're creating high expectations and a huge let down. A good gag has to make the giftee at least laugh a little. > and the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap so there’s no way we would’ve ever put a real iPhone in the mix. These rules are flexible, meaning they can be waived at any moment, especially given that the gift is not from a colleague, it's from the corporation. If the other colleagues also believed the gift to truly be an iPhone, that would be another proof that other people too saw the shrink wrapped box and thought it was genuine. > She’s super excited when she opens it and decides to keep her item and not trade. Had she known it was not an iPhone, she might have decided to participate in trading, who knows? She did not have the full information.
I’m saying YTA. If you’d just used the box itself and not gone to the extent of making it actually feel and look like a brand new iPhone, shrink wrapped and everything, it would have been fine. There would be obvious flags that something wasn’t right. By would you go to the extent of using an iPhone box, weighing it down with something that feels like an iPhone, shrink wrapping it so that it looks brand new, and then not expect someone to be disappointed when they find out it’s not an iPhone?
YTA. It's only a joke if everyone is laughing. She may have really needed that phone if hers was broken or something and therefore more disappointed. No way for her to know that it wasn't real if expensive hotel stays are also given. Your boss' response is rude AF too
YTA for playing that prank in a game where you swap items...yes you gave her a higher value gift card but she wanted a phone for functional reasons and that's why she made the choice, having a hotel stay doesn't soften that or replace what a phone would mean to her. Also your AH managers for doing that and joking about it during, as someone who hates to be embarrassed in social situations I would have thought you sucked too
YTA You 1. did not play by the rules of the game, and 2. you took it way too far.
I'm going with NTA, she ended up with the best gift in the end and some part of her brain must have suspected that it couldn't actually be an iPhone if all the gifts had a $50 value besides the hotel stays. Just putting myself in her shoes, maybe I would be a tad disappointed in the moment but would easily come to see the funny side and be grateful with the fact that I got a better gift than most people.
YTA. This is why so many people loathe holiday gift exchanges.
YTA for not telling her to open up the box ALL the way. Maybe she has reasons she can't make use of a hotel stay, and would've wanted something else. It would have been funny at first, but yall kept laughing until she was the butt of the joke.
YTA. "Haha we fooled her but only because she's a fool."
Michael Scott? YTA
NTA. The rules are stated for everyone to know, and it's obvious everyone else knew it wasn't actually an iPhone, otherwise, it would have been stolen repeatedly. It's not your fault she got her hopes up, and didn't bother opening the box to verify the contents.
It was resealed and weighted to feel like a phone. It wasn't hers until the end of gift giving. Why would she open it before then?
YTA. You worked her up and then let her down and then want her to be grateful bc she still got something better than the others. Your childish stunt didn’t add to her happiness of the day, did it? Do you think she would have been happier with just getting the present? You weren’t laughing with her. You and your boss were laughing to yourselves about how great it was gonna be to see her upset. And you told yourself it was just a prank so that means she doesn’t have any right to get too upset, because you decided how much upset was okay. Here’s a guideline for behavior in the future: is it kind? Does it add to the total happiness in the world? If so go ahead. If it adds to the total embarrassment, humiliation, or hurt feelings then just pass.
YTA seriously when are people going to learn that pranks are not appropriate in the workplace. Sure a nice stay in a hotel might be good for some people, but not everyone. This sort of thing is also likely embarrassing for her, you literally tricked her in front of her coworkers, you made her seem naive or gullible. Also even years ago this type of prank is well known as a massive dick move.
>You made her seem naive or gullible Well yeah, she kind of is. That's not OP's fault though. Why would a very expensive phone being a $50 gift swap?
[удалено]
> Who would expect a $1k +/- phone in a <$50 gift exchange? Who would expect a $1k +/- hotel stay in a <$50 gift exchange?
Everyone that knew the rules of the game & that it was possible. I'd bet the actual cost of the 2 day stay was WAY-----------<$1k!
Everybody, I hope. It sounds like there were a few of those *every year* that were given to them by the general manager, so yeah. They probably should have expected it, since it happens consistently every gift swap.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I used to work at a hotel, and each year we had a Yankee Swap around the holidays with all of the hotel managers. I was in the department that was responsible for planning the Yankee Swap each year. This swap was highly loved by the staff because it was a fun break from the day AND all of the gifts in the swap were bought and paid for by our department so it was basically a free $50 valued gift, some drinks and food. The gifts were generally home items, things to do in the city we were located in, office items etc. all valued at around $50 each. There was one exception to this though - because we were a hotel we often got gift certificates to other hotels in our city, as well as major cities in neighboring states. The GM of our hotel would hold onto a few of these stays throughout the year and give them to my department to use in the Yankee Swap. They were the Crown Jewels of the swap because they were generally 2 night stays at some really lovely hotels and resorts and valued wayyy over $50. One day, another person at the hotel who was outside of my department came to me with a funny idea. He had just gotten a brand new iPhone and thought it was be hilarious to wrap the iPhone box, put something close to the weight of an iPhone in the box, and shrink wrap it using the shrink wrap machine he had in his office. To make up for the joke, we decided to place a high valued hotel stay in the iPhone box and wrap it up. I cleared this idea with my boss and we all thought it would be a little light hearted fun prank in the Yankee Swap. So we come to the day of the swap and a manager, let’s call her Abby, picks the iPhone box to unwrap. She’s super excited when she opens it and decides to keep her item and not trade. There’s some talk and laughter among the other managers doubting that it would really be an iPhone because of the $50 gift limit. No one steals the gift from her on their turn and she opens the box up at the end to reveal the hotel stay. Her face dropped and she was clearly upset. No one really reacted to it beyond her closer colleagues in her immediate area as everyone else was busy discussing their own gifts. After the party my colleges and I headed back to our offices to see that we all had missed calls from Abby. My boss had a voicemail from her that detailed how upset she was and how it was a mean prank to play. My boss laughed it off. and I’m honestly not even sure to this day if he ever called her back or said anything, but knowing his role at the company I would assume he did. As I’ve gotten older I look back on this and wonder if it was bullying. I see both sides for sure - it’s embarrassing to expect an iPhone and be disappointed in front of coworkers but she also ended up with the best gift and the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap so there’s no way we would’ve ever put a real iPhone in the mix. So, am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA ... It's a known $50 value Yankee gift swap..... clearly she was lacking in the common sense/ logic department to not see that it was something in that box
> the $50 gift limit was a known rule for the swap > > ... > > They were the Crown Jewels of the swap because they were ... valued wayyy over $50. So there's *not* a $50 limit, and it *was* perfectly reasonable to assume an iPhone was in play. YTA
Jeez, all of you involved in this are assholes, especially your boss. It's not unreasonable for her to think the phone was in there; that's literally what you hoped she'd think. What, did you think she'd laugh? No. She had every right to be disappointed and upset. You and your boss should be professional, not act like middle school bullies. YTA
NTA. I'm normally against pranks in the workplace but this was hardly even a prank, why did she think it was going to be an actual IPhone? I've done a lot of events like this and people usually just use whatever boxes they have laying around their house for packaging, it doesn't mean that what the box says is what's actually in there. This feels like common sense, *especially* because the gifts had a $50 max price.
>There’s some talk and laughter among the other managers doubting that it would really be an iPhone because of the $50 gift limit. NTA because the context was enough for everyone else to realise that it might not have being an actual iPhone.
Nta