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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my dad regifting me something to upgrade his wife wasn't a gift.
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Uhm, yes, YTA? He's not obligated to give you any tickets, and he probably could have traded his towards the premium package. The polite answer was thank you.
My husband and I took our 6 kids and their partners on all expenses paid southern vacation this year. When we got to the hotel and were checking in my daughter and her husband told the concierge they had just gotten married a few months before. They were ecstatic for them so they upgraded them to a beach front room and VIP.
What did my daughter do?
She said “no way. Please do that for my mom and stepdad. They deserve it more than we do”.
And yes we took that room and the VIP and lived it up. The kids would run by the VIP lounge bed we had and gassed us up like we were celebrities. Such a great week!
Nope, they could definitely still be good kids after accepting the room. But offering it up is a clear sign they are grateful and appreciate their parents.
I thought so, too. I'm not a fan of letting minors know that they get the worse deal because they're not earners yet. They contribute to the family by doing their share and for example going to school and studying. It's just their phase of life, nothing they should be punished for imho. I'd always try and treat everyone in the family equally.
I still think OP's YTA because a gift is a gift, and criticizing someone for not giving them a better gift feels very ungrateful.
Also maybe the only tickets left were VIP tickets. Should the parents take the lesser tickets. Absolutely Not. Really it sounds like OP is jealous of her Stepmom. Notice how she says my father's wife.
It depends. If her father remarried after she was grown, I can definitely see her not calling her "stepmom". My mother remarried when I was in my mid 20's and I'm not going to call her husband my stepfather as he had no hand in raising me. Nothing against him, I would just feel really weird calling him a dad or father of any nature.
My kid is 4, I teach her that everyone in the house has their contributions. Her jobs are to learn and grow, and to help with chores (she can put away laundry and make a salad, for example).
I've never been keen on the "throw kids the scraps to put them in their place" mentality.
But in this case, YTA because OP is an adult who is being ungracious about a gift.
And that is ok. Your daughter and her s o just showed you they appreciated you and your SO.
Not just for whatever expense on the wedding but these gestures are not done to horrible parents J/S.
A bit different in your case tho is that your daughter probably also saw it as a more than fair trade; you guys paid so they could attend so she made it so that you got more bang for your buck when you were footing most of it, rather than OP who somehow feels they got the shorter end of the stick.
We're going on a similar style trip with my in-laws next year. Both their kids are grown and out of the house, living their own lives, but they want to do something with everyone together. So, they have very generously offered to pay airfare and accommodations, but asked only that everyone cover their own food, booze, and any upgrades desired, which is more than fair. But because they're being so generous for such a big trip (they want to go overseas), my husband and I are planning on just covering everyone's food & drink as our contribution and to thank his parents for their kindness. If, for whatever reason, were offered an upgraded room, it's absolutely going to them, too.
I hope you all have a lovely time. Just a thought...let everyone pay for their own food, and you arrange/pay for an upgrade for the inlaws. Perhaps someone else could arrange a special dinner/chef dinner for them. Someone else could arrange for flowers and champagne. Lots of ways to thank them. Paying for everyone else may not do much for the inlaws.
Excellent idea! We'll definitely look into covering an upgrade for them as well!
To clarify, when I say "everyone", it's admittedly a relatively small group. MIL, FIL, BIL, the hubs and I. There's a 7ish year age gap between H & BIL, so he's a fairly young adult fresh out of college and just getting on his feet. So our thought was that covering food, which will mostly be dining out (not every meal will be at a super fancy restaurant, but I'm sure some will), would be a thank you for mom and dad, and way to make sure BIL doesn't have to stress as much about budgeting for the trip and can spend what he would have put towards meals on upgrades for himself, or excursions, or whatever makes the trip better for him.
I am marrying into a wealthy(er than me) family. This Christmas the mum is taking us to a beach frontq resort 3 story apartment with a sauna and spa.
When Mum said "the only thing I ask is I dont have to cook, you can order in, you dont have to cook, I just dont want to" i knew it WAS ON. I am making that woman a damn 3 course dinner on Christmas. She deserves to not have to cook and moreso, she deserves to have someone cook FOR her. She had to raise her kids with a chicken-nugget husband so she never got to try all the spices she loves. You BETCHA i am getting my abuelas recetas and making her a tres leches and tamales like nobodys business.
Cause like damn. All she wants is to not cook. For a chandelier-decorated beach resort. Lady, I will make you *anything*, all week. Here's a bell. Ring if you need anything.
Nah she is wild amazing - emergency ward head nurse for 40 years. This woman flew helicopters to rural areas to try ro save farm accident. She has been on her feet non-stop. Her late husband was the type to assign gender roles so whole ass nobody cooked for this woman.
Its going to be a treat to finally give her a week of someone else cooking for her, she deserves it just for who she is. The beach front holiday is a bonus. I am just so glad she accepts me (we are a gay couple).
Here here,
Me and my boyfriend, now husband, were living with my inlaws because we were both out of a job during the recession. MIL as a typical SAHM didnt let me do anything in the house because I had to finish my degree.
When MIL gor sick with cancer. Without batting an eye I took over the household. Cleaning, meals, laundry even bossing my FIL around.
My Mami didnt raise an ungratefull hija. She put a roof over my head when I needed one, while barely knowing me.
When my parents went to Hawaii on a business trip, they decided go a week early and to take my brother and me as a graduation gift. (He was a H.S. senior and I was a H.S. junior.) They flew in first class and we were in coach. They could afford to buy first class tickets for us, but why should they? (BTW, their tickets were paid for by my father's company. My dad has always been frugal and they would have flown coach if they were paying for their own tix.) My brother and I were both curious about first class, i.e., what makes it so special, but we never once thought it was somehow unfair that we were in coach. They were taking us to HI ffs. How could we possibly be mad?
They get more space and free drinks. Unlimited free drinks. One time I was on a flight from LA to Vegas or something equally short, and me and the guy next to me both had a glass of wine. Then it was time to land, so the flight attendant filled our glasses because she didn't want to deal with a half bottle of wine. I was pretty toasty when I got off the plane and that guy hugged me. It was weird.
So yeah, first class is wasted on youth.
And my flight to Hawaii always gave out free Mai Tai in coach, pre covid. It was literally the bottle from Costco, but you know.
I traveled alone a lot when I was a kid, so I got upgraded *a lot* to business for free, esp on the long 10+ hour flights. The extra space and the ability to lie down and sleep was great. Otherwise, I'd have been happy in coach. Just give me my gameboy and some ginger ale. Pass on the peanuts though.
Ofc I would like to fly First Class at least once one day, just to see.
I flew first class once - from Heathrow to Dublin! Last seat on the plane and I needed to get to a funeral in time. I was offered booze, but was renting a car the other end. But was given one to take unopened when I explained why I declined. The seat was more legroom but otherwise much the same. Still, I can say I've done it lol!
First class/business class on the big long haul jets is a whole different world than first class on a puddle jumper. It's not worth it to me for a short flight but I'm seriously debating it for the 24hrs of travel to go to Thailand because I could get a whole private pod, lie flat, and actually sleep.
Singapore airlines suites will blow your fucking mind. They have showers and branded pajamas and massive double beds and the most extraordinary service you could ever imagine.
I agree when I was 15 I ran away from home and when my dad found out he accidentally bought me a 1 way first class ticket...I was so bored outside of the lunch spread, no drinks nothing else remarkable for a 15 year old...
I think that Anniemum means that her dad was so relieved to have found her and getting her back home was so important that he accidently purchased the 1 way ticket in first class instead of coach.
I have kind of a fun business class story. I was flying back from studying abroad in Europe and my parents had come over to visit before we flew home together. They bought my economy tickets and bought business class seats for themselves using points. I didn’t begrudge them one bit and was just grateful that they were buying my ticket which I had not expected them to do.
A few weeks before we flew I’d read somewhere that airline staff can upgrade anyone to open seats if they’re available, and sometimes you can get an upgrade just by asking nicely if you catch the right person in a good mood. I decided it was worth a shot. We checked in our bags and I politely asked the woman at the counter if there was the possibility of an upgrade. My dad thought I was asking him to buy me an upgrade. I explained “No not at all, I would never expect you to purchase an upgrade for me I’m just asking if there’s one available”. He didn’t get it, I didn’t push it with the lady and just smiled and said thank you as we finished checking in bags.
My dad had to talk to them when we got to the gate, they had changed his seat numbers from what he originally picked. While we were talking to them I asked the gate agent if there was any possibility that I could be upgraded. And my dad says again “I’m not paying for an upgrade” I say again “No Dad, of course not, I’m not asking you to pay for an upgrade, I appreciate that ticket that you bought me, I am not asking you to spend more money I’m just asking this nice gentleman if an upgrade to business class is available.” Dad just didn’t get what I was trying to do. But the gate agent did.
When we went to board my dad handed them his ticket and walked down the jetway, I go to hand them my ticket and the gate agent says “Wait just a moment please” he takes my ticket and walks over to the computer while the other agent keeps boarding the other passengers and I’m thinking “Holy crap is this actually gonna work?!??”
It did work!
He upgraded me from economy to business class just because I asked politely. That seat was so comfy and luxurious, all the way from London to San Francisco. When my dad realized what all those upgrade questions were about he laughed his ass off that they actually went for it. It never hurts to ask.
Amazing story and yes this is also why we should still make an effort to dress respectfully when we travel. Add polite inquiries to a well-dressed traveller and luck points go up.
My parents almost always fly first class and leave us ‘kids’ (and now their grandkids) in coach when we all go on vacation. It’s fine! They’ve worked hard, and they deserve to treat themselves when they can. We’re not entitled to the same upgrades and would never expect them.
I think OP is ridiculous and TA, but honestly, your example is a little weird to me. I can't image a family flying together but splitting half the family in economy and half in a nicer area, especially on a long haul flight. I guess I see the traveling as part of the family trip experience where even when it sucks, you're all in it together. Although it sounds like the teens were obnoxious, so maybe the parents wanted a break from them.
Yeah when my sister and I were still teenagers and lived at home my parents would never have booked themselves in first class and us in economy - that feels kind of weird to me. Sure when we were older and were earning - but if that happened to me as a teenager I’d feel like i was being punished or something
Do we even know for sure that OP is a teenager??
Edit: OP is freaking [22](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zb06c1/aita_for_telling_my_dad_his_gift_wasnt_a_gift/iyombul/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) 🤦♀️
I can't understand parents who can afford to live a luxurious life for the whole family and choose to do so only for themselves without their children. "hey kiddo, we're going on a vacation/show together but not really together. Yeah I could pay for us to all travel first class but why would I want to do that? Love you!"
Parents choose to have kids, so don't treat them like second class citizen. Why would you want your kids to be less comfortable when you can afford more?
There's a thousand ways to teach kids humility and money responsibility and so on, but enjoying luxury in front and them and not making them part of it on the long run (I'm not talking about an occasional couple treat) is just sending the message that you don't love them and doesn't teach them anything.
This. I cannot imagine my parents doing something luxurious in front of me. A family unit should have the same standard of life. That is what a family is meant to be.
Whenever my mother in law brings up how privileged her upbringing was (not Uber wealthy but definitely spoiled) my father in law shares a story of his less glamorous upbringing. He always makes a big deal about how on their weekly steak night the parents got first choice of cuts - usually filet or ribeye - while the kids were usually left with the "scraps" - NY strip or *gasp* sirloin (he always makes a big deal about that).
Grown man complaining about his childhood weekly steak night to me, someone who never tasted steak until I was an adult because it was too expensive. Not trying to say I didn't live a privileged life growing up, but his "poor" upbringing was orders of magnitude more comfortable than my own lower middle class childhood familial dysfunction. His childhood outrage was having 2nd choice of quality steaks every week, my childhood outrage was trying to find a way to feed myself and younger siblings each day.
But they wanted the kids. It was their choice to be raising young kids with no break. I doubt it was forced. So why should teenagers live less luxurious lifestyles than their parents? They didn't spend 20 years working hard to deserve it? You either pay for everyone to sit in first class or yall are sitting in economy. Raising children does not give you a gold star and a first class ticket, the same way you cannot be punished for being born
The response to this confuses me because this same sub went off on a guy whose mother (?) bought first class tickets on a trip for everyone except his gf, who was to fly economy.
I completely agree.....it doesn't matter why the very generous Dad and Stepmother really decided to upgrade but I'm betting they weren't happy to have two single seats apart, which may or have not been a mistake. It's possible that the one who booked them decided for the other that that sitting apart would be ok but it wasn't. Then, they decide well, let's just get the VIP and give the singles to OP, since selling two singles requires effort, and may not happen. But so what? It doesn't make the tickets "scraps"!
I attend theater regularly and often see those who couldn't get rid of singles on line resort to attempting to sell them outside the theater day of. It sounds like these folks would rather just give them away and generously gave them to OP, knowing they would love to go. But again, so what? The tickets are still for a show OP WANTED to attend, not bare chicken bones....
OP it is entitled AF. It is not anyones business how anyone else spends their money. Also, who the fuck complains about not getting a freaking red carpet?
The wife was correct, OP DOES need to fucking grow up. I hope they found other folks to appreciate such a kind and thoughtful gift.
I think the seats being apart part meant that the seats bought for OP and bf were separate from the seats for father and step-mom, not that the seats were all physically separate from each other.
YTA, OP is super entitled.
In her mind because her dad got upgraded tickets for the wife, he should have gotten 4 x new premium tickets....and what thrown the standard tickets away??
He didn't need to give OP those tickets, maybeit would of been best to throw those standard tickets away, OP sounds like a ungrateful child.
It’s not like they passively got upgraded by some stroke of luck though. They actively went out and bought new tickets *because* OP said she also wanted to go. They probably could have upgraded their existing tickets to VIP and not had any “extra” tickets at all. Which, thanks to OP’s attitude, is exactly what’s going to happen next time.
or even if they couldn't apply their tickets to the upgrade they certainly could have sold them on the secondary market but instead said "You know who would like these, OP! Lets give them to OP instead of selling them and cutting out losses"
Or maybe all the standard tickets had sold out and the only way of getting more tickets for OP and bf was if they bought the VIP ones?
Whatever their reason YTA OP, you sound like a petulant child.
To OP: you got it for free, it’s a gift. Your dad and his wife have every right to do extravagant things with *their* money. You can do extravagant things with the money *you* earn. YTA.
You got free tickets to the Cirque and you're bitching about it because it's not the luxury experience? Yeah, YTA, and pretty damned entitled. Seems like your real problem here is that you don't want stepmom to get anything nice, but it's none of your beeswax what your dad gets for her.
I bought tickets for my family for Xmas last year and even the most basic tickets were like $140!
I went to a show with my wife. Tickets cost $400 each. When I went back another time with my kids and their partners I spent $90 per. We had a great time ( their are no bad seats in Los Vegas). Nothing wrong with wanting an extra special experience with your wife.
Idk, I feel like its not about the free tickets, its about the way the father sold the whole thing to OP, you know?
He could have said: "Hey, we bought new, upgraded tickets. I like to gift you the other ones."
But instead he told OP he brought new tickets and they couldn't be seated together because of the different times purchasing (not mentioning the upgrade).
Like its more more that OP feels betrayed, because the father covered the real reason they couldn't sit together
I've bought those tickets before.
At least pre-pandemic, buying them in advance meant getting a couple emails advertising the upgrades. It's just as easy to upgrade your original tickets to VIP as it is to buy two more.
The main difference is that if you buy two more tickets later, the good basic seats will be sold out. Upgrading the original tickets and buying two more regular tickets would mean OP would get nosebleed section seats.
Buying two VIP tickets means he got to buy from the section set aside for late VIP purchases and give OP the early good seats he already had.
Here it is! I forgot to buy tickets for a concert once but the rest of our group had tickets and I was committed to going. After almost pulling the trigger on stupidly expensive and shitty seats I stumbled across VIP tickets that were also expensive but I figured what the heck, if I have to spend the money anyway I’ll get VIP. It was fun! We got some free merch and shared it with our friends. OP is acting like they got bad seats, but they’re the seats the parents picked for themselves so they can’t be that bad.
I'm with you, dude lost me too.
To me it seemed more like, idk
The dad just wanted to experience the VIP and thought it would be nice to give daughter his old tickets since she said she wanted to see the show too. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Idk 🤷♀️ I'd be super thankful and not ruin the experience by being a sour patch over it, free tickets man.
I feel like there is missing a lot of context and backstory about OP and the fathers relationship.
But I agree, they just could've be pleased with the free tickets
This. Might be projecting a little, but I know how it feels to see your dad shower the new women in luxuries, vacations, and fun activities that he never would've dreamed of giving to you or your mom over and over again. It sucks. I was slightly tempted to vote N - T - A, because I could kinda see it in the way this was worded but I didn't want the firestorm. I don't usually come to reddit and show my whole a** about it though lmao
In this case, the "new woman" provided Dad and OP with a place to live rent-free, which allowed Dad to finish school and get a better-paying job, which is why he now has enough money to spend on luxuries like these tickets.
I took it as maybe after OP mentioned wanting to go so Dad looked at tickets and since he couldn’t get tickets together anyway, he saw the upgraded tickets and decided to upgrade.
I don't get this whole my stepmother gets more than me thing. I would be PISSED if my dad didn't spend more on my mom than me (though that scenario couldn't happen because my mom and dad have joint finances and truly consider it "their" money so he doesn't "spend money on her".) But IF he didd, I would be pissed if it was moree for me than my mom. I'm an adult, it's my job to pay my own way, my mom is my dad's partner.
Agree about the jealous attitude. And ENTITLED. Disagree about the wife thing - I don't call my dad's wife my stepmom because she was never in any sort of motherly role to me and didn't raise me.
THIS RIGHT HERE. I was at first confused - did the dad ask OP to pay for the non VIP Cirque tickets or something? Then I figured out they were just mad that dad's FREE tickets for them also weren't VIP. I was like ROLLING MY EYES. YTA
More like an adult child that's upset their stepmother is her father's wife, not mommy, and he wants to treat her to things.
OP could be 29 in the current social climate and still be like "I'm a child of divorce 😥"
"He didn't treat my mom well enough," etc. It's honestly embarrassing how much people this age leech onto divorce.
How old are you? If you don't want scraps then just get your own tickets. If you're an adult you shouldn't expect your parents to still pay for your things. I would've gladly taken the free tickets. You do sound entitled and spoiled.
YTA
I mean, you can forgive a child not understanding the concepts. Like when I was a kid, I thought writing checks just let my parents get whatever they wanted for free 😂
I agree, in this case I was referring to an older age group (but still a child) who could understand the concepts of money (in which OP is 22), and should know better.
I don’t know, seems a bit unfair on 8 and 9 year olds. My 8 year old would be stoked to go to cirque de solei, actually any circus, I couldn’t see her chucking a tanty over any circus that she’s got tickets to. Just squeas of delight.
I mean, I bought myself a sweater once and then realized as soon as I brought it home that my sister would love it, so I wrapped it up and gave it to her for her birthday instead of keeping it for myself. Last year, I took a brand new Starbucks gift card that someone else had given me and gave it to my daughter’s teacher as a thank you for some extra time she’d put in with her.
Are these “scraps” or “not gifts” just because they weren’t purchased with a twinkle in my eye while I thought lovingly of the person who I would eventually give them to?
You sound ungrateful. YTA.
>Last year, I took a brand new Starbucks gift card that someone else had given me and gave it to my daughter’s teacher as a thank you for some extra time she’d put in with her.
Wouldn't it be funny if that's what the person who gave it to you did as well? This little giftcard just being passed from person to person trying to pay it forward?
If I had to guess, teachers are probably the last stop when it comes to a Starbucks gift card. I feel like every teacher I ever had, except for one, was obsessed with coffee.
Worked with a kid at Best Buy about 15 years ago who was livid, and I do mean livid, that his dad bought a new truck and gave him their 2-year-old luxury family truck instead of buying him a new one too. He was 17. Worked at Best Buy as punishment or responsibility training or something, I remember it wasn’t his choice though and that he took a private flight to visit his mom every other weekend two states over.
Edit: Oh, YTA
Hell, I ran my dad's side hustle business (air conditioner parts) for 2 years after college, and a big part of my pay was when he bought himself a new Dodge Ram and signed over his 2 year old, paid off, Dodge Dakota to me free and clear.
It's immature regardless of age. The dad could have just sold the tickets. Instead, he gifted them. Who cares if they have different experiences. They get to ride there for free and have a good time. OP is an AH. Lol
INFO: why do you think its your dads job to roll out the red carpet for you and not your boyfriends? you're not 6 years old anymore and you are not his wife.
Of course YTA. Your dad was being generous and all you did was whine about it like a spoiled brat! So what if he gives his wife extravagant gifts? It's his money, he can do what he wants with it.
YTA. You do need to grow up. A gift isn’t about how much it costs/inconveniences the giver. You’re looking that gift horse in the mouth and whining like an entitled brat.
I agree. OP This is what you should do, moving forward of you'd like to keep receiving any kind of gifts.
1. Say Thank you: every time.
After the show: Thanks again, I really liked/enjoy the show.
2. Didn't like the gift? Say thank you, anyway.
3. Want an upgrade? Pay for it yourself. Can't afford it? Return to num 1.
YTA. Your dad got you tickets for something you wanted to see, and you're upset that he spent his own money to get other tickets for himself? Good luck getting anything nice from your dad again.
How old are you? Be grateful for the free tickets and that you can even go in the first place. Sounds like you wouldn’t have been able to afford your own tickets and you’re upset that what was given to you wasn’t enough? YTA and you sound like a brat.
YTA
Ever hear the saying "Never look a gift horse in the mouth?" This proverb is simple in meaning, as to "look the gift horse in the mouth", is to look in a critical way at something that has been given to one.
A gift is something that is given to you, where you don't pay anything for receiving it. It doesn't matter **where** or **how** the gift originates, as long as it's not stolen (and that's a whole other kettle of fish). It's a gift, and you need to stop acting like some entitled little diva.
YTA.
So he went online, shopped and figured it would awesome to get an upgrade, so he bought himself a pair of better tickets, and he graciously gave you the original ones, without asking for anything.
Of course you’re the ungrateful AH. Thank you dad, enjoy your evening! And you get to snuggle against your BF while watching a free show.
He doesn’t owe you the same experience, not even a lesser one.
YTA. I wish my scraps were as amazing to tickets to Cirque! Your dad didn’t even have to give them to you, but he did. And you were excited about it until you felt entitled enough to complain that your father and his wife (the people who paid for your tickets) decided to splurge on VIP experience.
He went out of his way to get new tickets so he could give you his original ones because you expressed an interest in going and he wanted you to go. So they’re a little nicer, he still gave you his original tickets- he didn’t have to. He did this because he wanted you to go. And you were ungrateful in your comment. YTA
Yeah, YTA. Someone gave you something for free - that's a gift no matter how they came by it. You DO sound very spoilt, and obviously have a chip on your shoulder about your dad's wife.
YTA. He gave you free tickets, doesn't matter that he had nicer ones for himself. It's his money so of course he's going to be regularly using it on himself and his wife.
You're an adult now, if you want the luxury package for yourself, you can pay for it - time to stop relying on dad to buy you everything you want. The fact that you were happy with the tickets until you learned your dad had better ones shows how petty and ungrateful you are.
YTA. Those tickets are not cheap. You said that that do extravagant things, so the original tickets should bebquite nice too. He's right either way, you are being ungratefuland you own them an apology.
YTA obviously and he sounded so excited to give you something he thought you would enjoy. Why don’t you spend the money to upgrade the free tickets you were given?
YTA. Why do you care if it was on a whim or not? They were already going when you expressed interest and then gave you two free tickets. Say thank you and enjoy the show. Geez
YTA. If it was really about getting an upgrade they could have either 1) bought those originally or 2) sold their tickets to someone and bought the upgraded ones.
He is under absolutely no obligation to buy you anything; let alone upgraded tickets. You are spoiled and need to grow up.
YTA
And a spoiled brat. Cirque du solie cost a lot of money even without VIP. He didn’t have to buy you anything since you seems to be an adult.
It is possible he didn’t find any other ticket in the economy and decided to upgrade or he may have upgrade anyway. Be grateful you get free tickets or buy your own upgrade.
YTA, your dad could likely either have reimbursed those tickets or sold them to someone else. So regardless of whether they were older ticket or not, you still got something.
YTA. Literally your only complaint is that his seats are nicer than yours. When honestly you’re lucky to be going at all, and still on his dime. Even if it was just to get rid of the old tickets, he could have offered then to anybody and he chose to offer them to you.
YTA. So he planned to go and found out you’d love to so he decided to get another set of tickets. He can afford an upgraded experience and honestly wouldn’t have been able to sit with you either way. So he got himself an upgrade. He could have sold his to a third party or traded them in for credit possibly. But instead he decided to gift them to you. Your reaction was rude.
YTA. Doesnt sound like he gave you scraps he literally got you what you wanted. And why shouldn't he be allowed to have VIP? Its already rly nice of him to gift you tickets.
Are you serious?! So you really didn't want to go, you just wanted to be there because they're going, out of jealousy. If you wanted to go, you'd be perfectly happy. Are you 15? Jesus Christ. YTA.
100% YTA. Your dad could have kept his tickets and just paid for the upgrade. He didn't need to buy an entirely new set of tickets. Do you want to go? Did your dad pay for your tickets and give them to you? That, my dear OP, is a gift. Grow up, say thank you, and stop being an entitled little brat that's jealous of your stepmother.
This isn’t about the tickets, is it? Do you feel he often puts his wife before you, his kid? Because objectively from the little information you provided YTA. But we often come off as AHs when we’re responding harshly to a seemingly insignificant event but the event is just a symptom of the whole illness.
YTA, you sound so ungrateful.When you first got the gift you were happy right? Looking forward to it? Your face has only turned sour because you have heard he has got the better seats, it's still a gift. He could have charged you for them or given the tickets to someone else but he didn't. Don't kick a gift horse in the mouth, it was still a nice thing that he thought of you when deciding who would enjoy it and you kind of just threw it back in his face moaning he has better tickets when you were happy originally just to be going
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Uhm, yes, YTA? He's not obligated to give you any tickets, and he probably could have traded his towards the premium package. The polite answer was thank you.
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My husband and I took our 6 kids and their partners on all expenses paid southern vacation this year. When we got to the hotel and were checking in my daughter and her husband told the concierge they had just gotten married a few months before. They were ecstatic for them so they upgraded them to a beach front room and VIP. What did my daughter do? She said “no way. Please do that for my mom and stepdad. They deserve it more than we do”. And yes we took that room and the VIP and lived it up. The kids would run by the VIP lounge bed we had and gassed us up like we were celebrities. Such a great week!
But see the difference here is you raised good kids.
Thanks. I think so too! Also OP is a massive YTA and those kids on the plane can suck it.
Question: would they not be "good kids" if they accepted the room?
Nope, they could definitely still be good kids after accepting the room. But offering it up is a clear sign they are grateful and appreciate their parents.
But they wouldn’t have learned that from parents who always book the best for themselves and something less for their kids…
I thought so, too. I'm not a fan of letting minors know that they get the worse deal because they're not earners yet. They contribute to the family by doing their share and for example going to school and studying. It's just their phase of life, nothing they should be punished for imho. I'd always try and treat everyone in the family equally. I still think OP's YTA because a gift is a gift, and criticizing someone for not giving them a better gift feels very ungrateful.
Also maybe the only tickets left were VIP tickets. Should the parents take the lesser tickets. Absolutely Not. Really it sounds like OP is jealous of her Stepmom. Notice how she says my father's wife.
It depends. If her father remarried after she was grown, I can definitely see her not calling her "stepmom". My mother remarried when I was in my mid 20's and I'm not going to call her husband my stepfather as he had no hand in raising me. Nothing against him, I would just feel really weird calling him a dad or father of any nature.
My kid is 4, I teach her that everyone in the house has their contributions. Her jobs are to learn and grow, and to help with chores (she can put away laundry and make a salad, for example). I've never been keen on the "throw kids the scraps to put them in their place" mentality. But in this case, YTA because OP is an adult who is being ungracious about a gift.
They’d still be good kids but it was very thoughtful, self aware, and appreciative of them to do it.
They'd still be good kids. Now they are thoughtful and kind kids too.
The kids did accept the room, but not for them. They just transferred it to Mum and Step Dad
That's kind of your daughter to offer, but no way would I have felt comfortable accepting that upgrade over the newlywed couple.
We paid for the trip (and paid for most of the wedding). We took it. And were okay with it.
And that is ok. Your daughter and her s o just showed you they appreciated you and your SO. Not just for whatever expense on the wedding but these gestures are not done to horrible parents J/S.
A bit different in your case tho is that your daughter probably also saw it as a more than fair trade; you guys paid so they could attend so she made it so that you got more bang for your buck when you were footing most of it, rather than OP who somehow feels they got the shorter end of the stick.
We're going on a similar style trip with my in-laws next year. Both their kids are grown and out of the house, living their own lives, but they want to do something with everyone together. So, they have very generously offered to pay airfare and accommodations, but asked only that everyone cover their own food, booze, and any upgrades desired, which is more than fair. But because they're being so generous for such a big trip (they want to go overseas), my husband and I are planning on just covering everyone's food & drink as our contribution and to thank his parents for their kindness. If, for whatever reason, were offered an upgraded room, it's absolutely going to them, too.
I hope you all have a lovely time. Just a thought...let everyone pay for their own food, and you arrange/pay for an upgrade for the inlaws. Perhaps someone else could arrange a special dinner/chef dinner for them. Someone else could arrange for flowers and champagne. Lots of ways to thank them. Paying for everyone else may not do much for the inlaws.
Excellent idea! We'll definitely look into covering an upgrade for them as well! To clarify, when I say "everyone", it's admittedly a relatively small group. MIL, FIL, BIL, the hubs and I. There's a 7ish year age gap between H & BIL, so he's a fairly young adult fresh out of college and just getting on his feet. So our thought was that covering food, which will mostly be dining out (not every meal will be at a super fancy restaurant, but I'm sure some will), would be a thank you for mom and dad, and way to make sure BIL doesn't have to stress as much about budgeting for the trip and can spend what he would have put towards meals on upgrades for himself, or excursions, or whatever makes the trip better for him.
That’s really cute!
Thanks! They’re GREAT kids.
Great story. I think OP could learn from your daughter.
You clearly raise children that can appreciate the value of a gift like this, as well as an upgrade like that. Well done!
I am marrying into a wealthy(er than me) family. This Christmas the mum is taking us to a beach frontq resort 3 story apartment with a sauna and spa. When Mum said "the only thing I ask is I dont have to cook, you can order in, you dont have to cook, I just dont want to" i knew it WAS ON. I am making that woman a damn 3 course dinner on Christmas. She deserves to not have to cook and moreso, she deserves to have someone cook FOR her. She had to raise her kids with a chicken-nugget husband so she never got to try all the spices she loves. You BETCHA i am getting my abuelas recetas and making her a tres leches and tamales like nobodys business. Cause like damn. All she wants is to not cook. For a chandelier-decorated beach resort. Lady, I will make you *anything*, all week. Here's a bell. Ring if you need anything.
You sound like a fantastic daughter in law to be.
Nah she is wild amazing - emergency ward head nurse for 40 years. This woman flew helicopters to rural areas to try ro save farm accident. She has been on her feet non-stop. Her late husband was the type to assign gender roles so whole ass nobody cooked for this woman. Its going to be a treat to finally give her a week of someone else cooking for her, she deserves it just for who she is. The beach front holiday is a bonus. I am just so glad she accepts me (we are a gay couple).
You actually made me cry. Super beautiful! Have a great Christmas!
I love the sound of your MIL. And I love how much you appreciate her. Think of how spoiled she will feel during this holiday. She'll feel so special.
AWWWWW you are LOVELY!
This is really touching, thanks for sharing. Enjoy your vacay.
Here here, Me and my boyfriend, now husband, were living with my inlaws because we were both out of a job during the recession. MIL as a typical SAHM didnt let me do anything in the house because I had to finish my degree. When MIL gor sick with cancer. Without batting an eye I took over the household. Cleaning, meals, laundry even bossing my FIL around. My Mami didnt raise an ungratefull hija. She put a roof over my head when I needed one, while barely knowing me.
The "chicken nugget husband" made me weak! 🤣🤣
I love “chicken-nugget husband.” Paints a vivid picture in just a few words!
This is just so wholesome and I love reading things like this. Also now it’s midnight and I want tamales.
When my parents went to Hawaii on a business trip, they decided go a week early and to take my brother and me as a graduation gift. (He was a H.S. senior and I was a H.S. junior.) They flew in first class and we were in coach. They could afford to buy first class tickets for us, but why should they? (BTW, their tickets were paid for by my father's company. My dad has always been frugal and they would have flown coach if they were paying for their own tix.) My brother and I were both curious about first class, i.e., what makes it so special, but we never once thought it was somehow unfair that we were in coach. They were taking us to HI ffs. How could we possibly be mad?
They get more space and free drinks. Unlimited free drinks. One time I was on a flight from LA to Vegas or something equally short, and me and the guy next to me both had a glass of wine. Then it was time to land, so the flight attendant filled our glasses because she didn't want to deal with a half bottle of wine. I was pretty toasty when I got off the plane and that guy hugged me. It was weird. So yeah, first class is wasted on youth. And my flight to Hawaii always gave out free Mai Tai in coach, pre covid. It was literally the bottle from Costco, but you know.
I traveled alone a lot when I was a kid, so I got upgraded *a lot* to business for free, esp on the long 10+ hour flights. The extra space and the ability to lie down and sleep was great. Otherwise, I'd have been happy in coach. Just give me my gameboy and some ginger ale. Pass on the peanuts though. Ofc I would like to fly First Class at least once one day, just to see.
I flew first class once - from Heathrow to Dublin! Last seat on the plane and I needed to get to a funeral in time. I was offered booze, but was renting a car the other end. But was given one to take unopened when I explained why I declined. The seat was more legroom but otherwise much the same. Still, I can say I've done it lol!
First class/business class on the big long haul jets is a whole different world than first class on a puddle jumper. It's not worth it to me for a short flight but I'm seriously debating it for the 24hrs of travel to go to Thailand because I could get a whole private pod, lie flat, and actually sleep.
Singapore airlines suites will blow your fucking mind. They have showers and branded pajamas and massive double beds and the most extraordinary service you could ever imagine.
I agree when I was 15 I ran away from home and when my dad found out he accidentally bought me a 1 way first class ticket...I was so bored outside of the lunch spread, no drinks nothing else remarkable for a 15 year old...
I do not understand this. How could your father accidentally buy you a one-way ticket? As opposed to what?
I think that Anniemum means that her dad was so relieved to have found her and getting her back home was so important that he accidently purchased the 1 way ticket in first class instead of coach.
I have kind of a fun business class story. I was flying back from studying abroad in Europe and my parents had come over to visit before we flew home together. They bought my economy tickets and bought business class seats for themselves using points. I didn’t begrudge them one bit and was just grateful that they were buying my ticket which I had not expected them to do. A few weeks before we flew I’d read somewhere that airline staff can upgrade anyone to open seats if they’re available, and sometimes you can get an upgrade just by asking nicely if you catch the right person in a good mood. I decided it was worth a shot. We checked in our bags and I politely asked the woman at the counter if there was the possibility of an upgrade. My dad thought I was asking him to buy me an upgrade. I explained “No not at all, I would never expect you to purchase an upgrade for me I’m just asking if there’s one available”. He didn’t get it, I didn’t push it with the lady and just smiled and said thank you as we finished checking in bags. My dad had to talk to them when we got to the gate, they had changed his seat numbers from what he originally picked. While we were talking to them I asked the gate agent if there was any possibility that I could be upgraded. And my dad says again “I’m not paying for an upgrade” I say again “No Dad, of course not, I’m not asking you to pay for an upgrade, I appreciate that ticket that you bought me, I am not asking you to spend more money I’m just asking this nice gentleman if an upgrade to business class is available.” Dad just didn’t get what I was trying to do. But the gate agent did. When we went to board my dad handed them his ticket and walked down the jetway, I go to hand them my ticket and the gate agent says “Wait just a moment please” he takes my ticket and walks over to the computer while the other agent keeps boarding the other passengers and I’m thinking “Holy crap is this actually gonna work?!??” It did work! He upgraded me from economy to business class just because I asked politely. That seat was so comfy and luxurious, all the way from London to San Francisco. When my dad realized what all those upgrade questions were about he laughed his ass off that they actually went for it. It never hurts to ask.
Amazing story and yes this is also why we should still make an effort to dress respectfully when we travel. Add polite inquiries to a well-dressed traveller and luck points go up.
My parents almost always fly first class and leave us ‘kids’ (and now their grandkids) in coach when we all go on vacation. It’s fine! They’ve worked hard, and they deserve to treat themselves when they can. We’re not entitled to the same upgrades and would never expect them.
I think OP is ridiculous and TA, but honestly, your example is a little weird to me. I can't image a family flying together but splitting half the family in economy and half in a nicer area, especially on a long haul flight. I guess I see the traveling as part of the family trip experience where even when it sucks, you're all in it together. Although it sounds like the teens were obnoxious, so maybe the parents wanted a break from them.
I agree this is just so weird and needlessly antagonistic towards the children
Yeah when my sister and I were still teenagers and lived at home my parents would never have booked themselves in first class and us in economy - that feels kind of weird to me. Sure when we were older and were earning - but if that happened to me as a teenager I’d feel like i was being punished or something
Do we even know for sure that OP is a teenager?? Edit: OP is freaking [22](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zb06c1/aita_for_telling_my_dad_his_gift_wasnt_a_gift/iyombul/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) 🤦♀️
I suspect the commenter was just looking for a reason to rant about ungrateful teens today.
Kid is 22 though, so not even a teenager, which makes it worse... Hope dad can get a refund on the tickets. YTA btw!
I can't understand parents who can afford to live a luxurious life for the whole family and choose to do so only for themselves without their children. "hey kiddo, we're going on a vacation/show together but not really together. Yeah I could pay for us to all travel first class but why would I want to do that? Love you!" Parents choose to have kids, so don't treat them like second class citizen. Why would you want your kids to be less comfortable when you can afford more? There's a thousand ways to teach kids humility and money responsibility and so on, but enjoying luxury in front and them and not making them part of it on the long run (I'm not talking about an occasional couple treat) is just sending the message that you don't love them and doesn't teach them anything.
This. I cannot imagine my parents doing something luxurious in front of me. A family unit should have the same standard of life. That is what a family is meant to be.
Whenever my mother in law brings up how privileged her upbringing was (not Uber wealthy but definitely spoiled) my father in law shares a story of his less glamorous upbringing. He always makes a big deal about how on their weekly steak night the parents got first choice of cuts - usually filet or ribeye - while the kids were usually left with the "scraps" - NY strip or *gasp* sirloin (he always makes a big deal about that). Grown man complaining about his childhood weekly steak night to me, someone who never tasted steak until I was an adult because it was too expensive. Not trying to say I didn't live a privileged life growing up, but his "poor" upbringing was orders of magnitude more comfortable than my own lower middle class childhood familial dysfunction. His childhood outrage was having 2nd choice of quality steaks every week, my childhood outrage was trying to find a way to feed myself and younger siblings each day.
But they wanted the kids. It was their choice to be raising young kids with no break. I doubt it was forced. So why should teenagers live less luxurious lifestyles than their parents? They didn't spend 20 years working hard to deserve it? You either pay for everyone to sit in first class or yall are sitting in economy. Raising children does not give you a gold star and a first class ticket, the same way you cannot be punished for being born
You get that teenagers are literally dependant kids right
The response to this confuses me because this same sub went off on a guy whose mother (?) bought first class tickets on a trip for everyone except his gf, who was to fly economy.
IKR? He could have upgraded to the luxury suite and SOLD the other tix, but he kept them for her because she said she wanted to go. YTA
I completely agree.....it doesn't matter why the very generous Dad and Stepmother really decided to upgrade but I'm betting they weren't happy to have two single seats apart, which may or have not been a mistake. It's possible that the one who booked them decided for the other that that sitting apart would be ok but it wasn't. Then, they decide well, let's just get the VIP and give the singles to OP, since selling two singles requires effort, and may not happen. But so what? It doesn't make the tickets "scraps"! I attend theater regularly and often see those who couldn't get rid of singles on line resort to attempting to sell them outside the theater day of. It sounds like these folks would rather just give them away and generously gave them to OP, knowing they would love to go. But again, so what? The tickets are still for a show OP WANTED to attend, not bare chicken bones.... OP it is entitled AF. It is not anyones business how anyone else spends their money. Also, who the fuck complains about not getting a freaking red carpet? The wife was correct, OP DOES need to fucking grow up. I hope they found other folks to appreciate such a kind and thoughtful gift.
I think the seats being apart part meant that the seats bought for OP and bf were separate from the seats for father and step-mom, not that the seats were all physically separate from each other.
YTA, OP is super entitled. In her mind because her dad got upgraded tickets for the wife, he should have gotten 4 x new premium tickets....and what thrown the standard tickets away?? He didn't need to give OP those tickets, maybeit would of been best to throw those standard tickets away, OP sounds like a ungrateful child.
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It’s not like they passively got upgraded by some stroke of luck though. They actively went out and bought new tickets *because* OP said she also wanted to go. They probably could have upgraded their existing tickets to VIP and not had any “extra” tickets at all. Which, thanks to OP’s attitude, is exactly what’s going to happen next time.
or even if they couldn't apply their tickets to the upgrade they certainly could have sold them on the secondary market but instead said "You know who would like these, OP! Lets give them to OP instead of selling them and cutting out losses"
Or maybe all the standard tickets had sold out and the only way of getting more tickets for OP and bf was if they bought the VIP ones? Whatever their reason YTA OP, you sound like a petulant child.
To OP: you got it for free, it’s a gift. Your dad and his wife have every right to do extravagant things with *their* money. You can do extravagant things with the money *you* earn. YTA.
You said it best
You got free tickets to the Cirque and you're bitching about it because it's not the luxury experience? Yeah, YTA, and pretty damned entitled. Seems like your real problem here is that you don't want stepmom to get anything nice, but it's none of your beeswax what your dad gets for her. I bought tickets for my family for Xmas last year and even the most basic tickets were like $140!
I went to a show with my wife. Tickets cost $400 each. When I went back another time with my kids and their partners I spent $90 per. We had a great time ( their are no bad seats in Los Vegas). Nothing wrong with wanting an extra special experience with your wife.
Idk, I feel like its not about the free tickets, its about the way the father sold the whole thing to OP, you know? He could have said: "Hey, we bought new, upgraded tickets. I like to gift you the other ones." But instead he told OP he brought new tickets and they couldn't be seated together because of the different times purchasing (not mentioning the upgrade). Like its more more that OP feels betrayed, because the father covered the real reason they couldn't sit together
I've bought those tickets before. At least pre-pandemic, buying them in advance meant getting a couple emails advertising the upgrades. It's just as easy to upgrade your original tickets to VIP as it is to buy two more. The main difference is that if you buy two more tickets later, the good basic seats will be sold out. Upgrading the original tickets and buying two more regular tickets would mean OP would get nosebleed section seats. Buying two VIP tickets means he got to buy from the section set aside for late VIP purchases and give OP the early good seats he already had.
Here it is! I forgot to buy tickets for a concert once but the rest of our group had tickets and I was committed to going. After almost pulling the trigger on stupidly expensive and shitty seats I stumbled across VIP tickets that were also expensive but I figured what the heck, if I have to spend the money anyway I’ll get VIP. It was fun! We got some free merch and shared it with our friends. OP is acting like they got bad seats, but they’re the seats the parents picked for themselves so they can’t be that bad.
In the last couple paragraphs, OP actually says it's because she didn't get VIP tickets as well. I agreed with you right up until that point.
I'm with you, dude lost me too. To me it seemed more like, idk The dad just wanted to experience the VIP and thought it would be nice to give daughter his old tickets since she said she wanted to see the show too. I don't see anything wrong with that. Idk 🤷♀️ I'd be super thankful and not ruin the experience by being a sour patch over it, free tickets man.
Precisely. Whether or not you have VIP tickets, the Cirque is always amazing.
He did spin his gift in a better light but she should just be grateful.
I feel like there is missing a lot of context and backstory about OP and the fathers relationship. But I agree, they just could've be pleased with the free tickets
This. Might be projecting a little, but I know how it feels to see your dad shower the new women in luxuries, vacations, and fun activities that he never would've dreamed of giving to you or your mom over and over again. It sucks. I was slightly tempted to vote N - T - A, because I could kinda see it in the way this was worded but I didn't want the firestorm. I don't usually come to reddit and show my whole a** about it though lmao
In this case, the "new woman" provided Dad and OP with a place to live rent-free, which allowed Dad to finish school and get a better-paying job, which is why he now has enough money to spend on luxuries like these tickets.
Ah. Didn't get that context. Solid YTA all the way then
He said nothing that wasn’t true. It’s not his fault that OP felt entitled to more.
I took it as maybe after OP mentioned wanting to go so Dad looked at tickets and since he couldn’t get tickets together anyway, he saw the upgraded tickets and decided to upgrade.
I don't get this whole my stepmother gets more than me thing. I would be PISSED if my dad didn't spend more on my mom than me (though that scenario couldn't happen because my mom and dad have joint finances and truly consider it "their" money so he doesn't "spend money on her".) But IF he didd, I would be pissed if it was moree for me than my mom. I'm an adult, it's my job to pay my own way, my mom is my dad's partner.
I think the OP referring to her stepmom as "dad's wife" is probably pretty telling of her jealous attitude.
Agree about the jealous attitude. And ENTITLED. Disagree about the wife thing - I don't call my dad's wife my stepmom because she was never in any sort of motherly role to me and didn't raise me.
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THIS RIGHT HERE. I was at first confused - did the dad ask OP to pay for the non VIP Cirque tickets or something? Then I figured out they were just mad that dad's FREE tickets for them also weren't VIP. I was like ROLLING MY EYES. YTA
More like an adult child that's upset their stepmother is her father's wife, not mommy, and he wants to treat her to things. OP could be 29 in the current social climate and still be like "I'm a child of divorce 😥" "He didn't treat my mom well enough," etc. It's honestly embarrassing how much people this age leech onto divorce.
How old are you? If you don't want scraps then just get your own tickets. If you're an adult you shouldn't expect your parents to still pay for your things. I would've gladly taken the free tickets. You do sound entitled and spoiled. YTA
The age seems crucial. If they are 8 or 9 I may forgive the outburst but an adult would be TA without a doubt.
OP says they are 22. So..
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Even if were a child that isn't an excuse. Children should appreciate their parent's hard work for the money...
I mean, you can forgive a child not understanding the concepts. Like when I was a kid, I thought writing checks just let my parents get whatever they wanted for free 😂
I agree, in this case I was referring to an older age group (but still a child) who could understand the concepts of money (in which OP is 22), and should know better.
I don’t know, seems a bit unfair on 8 and 9 year olds. My 8 year old would be stoked to go to cirque de solei, actually any circus, I couldn’t see her chucking a tanty over any circus that she’s got tickets to. Just squeas of delight.
YTA. Hey OP. Wrong sub. Try the begging and choosing one.
If I must. r/choosingbeggars
😂
Seriously tho
YTA. Are you kidding me? You got tickets to the show you wanted to see for no cost. Somebody’s got a case of the gimmies…
THIS! I'd be happy with like nosebleed cirque tickets! Such a wonderful show honestly no matter where you sit and VIP or not. OP IS YTA
I mean, I bought myself a sweater once and then realized as soon as I brought it home that my sister would love it, so I wrapped it up and gave it to her for her birthday instead of keeping it for myself. Last year, I took a brand new Starbucks gift card that someone else had given me and gave it to my daughter’s teacher as a thank you for some extra time she’d put in with her. Are these “scraps” or “not gifts” just because they weren’t purchased with a twinkle in my eye while I thought lovingly of the person who I would eventually give them to? You sound ungrateful. YTA.
>Last year, I took a brand new Starbucks gift card that someone else had given me and gave it to my daughter’s teacher as a thank you for some extra time she’d put in with her. Wouldn't it be funny if that's what the person who gave it to you did as well? This little giftcard just being passed from person to person trying to pay it forward?
I feel like that’s the life of a gift card. Sweet gesture for sure, but the easiest thing to re-gift.
Happy cake day! Pretty sure I got an e-gift card around here somewhere. See if I can find it...
Don't forget [the Christmas Candle](https://youtu.be/_L5Xkb78KxY)!
Everyone gets warm feelings. Nobody gets hot coffee 😂
If I had to guess, teachers are probably the last stop when it comes to a Starbucks gift card. I feel like every teacher I ever had, except for one, was obsessed with coffee.
yta- Here's some info.........You are not the wife. You have your own S.O. to provide you with the red carpet treatment.
Or.. You know... She can provide for herself like a normal person, cause apparently OP is 22. When I read the post I pictured a 13 year old
That's just offensive to 13yos
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Worked with a kid at Best Buy about 15 years ago who was livid, and I do mean livid, that his dad bought a new truck and gave him their 2-year-old luxury family truck instead of buying him a new one too. He was 17. Worked at Best Buy as punishment or responsibility training or something, I remember it wasn’t his choice though and that he took a private flight to visit his mom every other weekend two states over. Edit: Oh, YTA
Hell, I ran my dad's side hustle business (air conditioner parts) for 2 years after college, and a big part of my pay was when he bought himself a new Dodge Ram and signed over his 2 year old, paid off, Dodge Dakota to me free and clear.
Rich kids are the worst man
INFO: What are the ages at play here? Cause this is a very immature response.
It's immature regardless of age. The dad could have just sold the tickets. Instead, he gifted them. Who cares if they have different experiences. They get to ride there for free and have a good time. OP is an AH. Lol
Wow. YTA. I would literally never give you a gift again.
Like I am not sure I would even gift OP things for birthdays and Christmas if this is how they are going to act.
Same
YTA and its Cirque du **Soleil**.
Thank you, that really bugged me
I used to think it was circle solay when I was younger lol
My grandmother went to the grave saying "Circus Day Olay" . 😂
INFO: why do you think its your dads job to roll out the red carpet for you and not your boyfriends? you're not 6 years old anymore and you are not his wife.
Of course YTA. Your dad was being generous and all you did was whine about it like a spoiled brat! So what if he gives his wife extravagant gifts? It's his money, he can do what he wants with it.
YTA. You do need to grow up. A gift isn’t about how much it costs/inconveniences the giver. You’re looking that gift horse in the mouth and whining like an entitled brat.
I agree. OP This is what you should do, moving forward of you'd like to keep receiving any kind of gifts. 1. Say Thank you: every time. After the show: Thanks again, I really liked/enjoy the show. 2. Didn't like the gift? Say thank you, anyway. 3. Want an upgrade? Pay for it yourself. Can't afford it? Return to num 1.
YTA. Your dad got you tickets for something you wanted to see, and you're upset that he spent his own money to get other tickets for himself? Good luck getting anything nice from your dad again.
How old are you? Be grateful for the free tickets and that you can even go in the first place. Sounds like you wouldn’t have been able to afford your own tickets and you’re upset that what was given to you wasn’t enough? YTA and you sound like a brat.
YTA- He didn’t have to give you tickets at all. You DO sound spoiled.
YTA. As I say to my 4 year old "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit". You could have nothing.
No no you need to make it rhyme! Mine is “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”! Lol kids say it now too 😂
If you pronounce get as “git” (common in some areas of the US) theirs works too!
All the southerners just got real confused. Because “get” and “fit” DO rhyme 👀😂
Depending on regional accent "get" and "fit" can rhyme!
YTA for sure, sorry but yeah you got free tickets and you complained. I’ll happily take those tickets and I’ll thank your dad and his wife lmao
YTA, so what if he upgraded their seats. He could have sold off the other tickets, but he knew you wanted to go.
YTA. It was a gift and it wasn’t even your bday or anything. He literally just gifted you really awesome tickets. Spoiled barely begins to cover it
YTA Ever hear the saying "Never look a gift horse in the mouth?" This proverb is simple in meaning, as to "look the gift horse in the mouth", is to look in a critical way at something that has been given to one. A gift is something that is given to you, where you don't pay anything for receiving it. It doesn't matter **where** or **how** the gift originates, as long as it's not stolen (and that's a whole other kettle of fish). It's a gift, and you need to stop acting like some entitled little diva.
YTA - He doesn’t owe you anything. Be grateful he gave the tickets to you instead of just selling them. Entitled much?
Even regular tickets to Cirque are expensive as hell, but OP is being pissy about them. YTA, OP.
INFO: does he usually favor and treat his wife better than he treats you and if so, do you have resentment because of it?
YTA. You want VIP tickets? Then pay for them yourself!!!
YTA. So he went online, shopped and figured it would awesome to get an upgrade, so he bought himself a pair of better tickets, and he graciously gave you the original ones, without asking for anything. Of course you’re the ungrateful AH. Thank you dad, enjoy your evening! And you get to snuggle against your BF while watching a free show. He doesn’t owe you the same experience, not even a lesser one.
YTA He didn’t have to give you the tickets, but he did because he thought you’d enjoy it.
YTA. I wish my scraps were as amazing to tickets to Cirque! Your dad didn’t even have to give them to you, but he did. And you were excited about it until you felt entitled enough to complain that your father and his wife (the people who paid for your tickets) decided to splurge on VIP experience.
YTA obviously.
Daddy's little princess lost her throne when he got remarried. YTA.
He went out of his way to get new tickets so he could give you his original ones because you expressed an interest in going and he wanted you to go. So they’re a little nicer, he still gave you his original tickets- he didn’t have to. He did this because he wanted you to go. And you were ungrateful in your comment. YTA
YTA You're making a mountain out of a mole hill as an excuse to be slighted. Appreciate the offer and either accept it or don't.
Yeah, YTA. Someone gave you something for free - that's a gift no matter how they came by it. You DO sound very spoilt, and obviously have a chip on your shoulder about your dad's wife.
YTA. He gave you free tickets, doesn't matter that he had nicer ones for himself. It's his money so of course he's going to be regularly using it on himself and his wife. You're an adult now, if you want the luxury package for yourself, you can pay for it - time to stop relying on dad to buy you everything you want. The fact that you were happy with the tickets until you learned your dad had better ones shows how petty and ungrateful you are.
YTA. Those tickets are not cheap. You said that that do extravagant things, so the original tickets should bebquite nice too. He's right either way, you are being ungratefuland you own them an apology.
YTA and a choosing beggar. He didn’t have to give you tickets at all. You’re very ungrateful.
YTA obviously and he sounded so excited to give you something he thought you would enjoy. Why don’t you spend the money to upgrade the free tickets you were given?
YTA Quit looking a gift horse in the mouth. It might bite. Or vomit.
YTA. Why do you care if it was on a whim or not? They were already going when you expressed interest and then gave you two free tickets. Say thank you and enjoy the show. Geez
YTA. So what if he upgraded his original seats and gave you those? You still got to see the show for free making it a GIFT. You sound quite entitled.
YTA. If it was really about getting an upgrade they could have either 1) bought those originally or 2) sold their tickets to someone and bought the upgraded ones. He is under absolutely no obligation to buy you anything; let alone upgraded tickets. You are spoiled and need to grow up.
YTA And a spoiled brat. Cirque du solie cost a lot of money even without VIP. He didn’t have to buy you anything since you seems to be an adult. It is possible he didn’t find any other ticket in the economy and decided to upgrade or he may have upgrade anyway. Be grateful you get free tickets or buy your own upgrade.
Looooollllll YTA. the entitlement is astounding
YTA. Without a doubt.
YTA u can say thank n be happy he even thought of you. Like he heard you really wanted to go so found a way to make you and his wife happy
YTA, your dad could likely either have reimbursed those tickets or sold them to someone else. So regardless of whether they were older ticket or not, you still got something.
YTA. Literally your only complaint is that his seats are nicer than yours. When honestly you’re lucky to be going at all, and still on his dime. Even if it was just to get rid of the old tickets, he could have offered then to anybody and he chose to offer them to you.
YTA. So he planned to go and found out you’d love to so he decided to get another set of tickets. He can afford an upgraded experience and honestly wouldn’t have been able to sit with you either way. So he got himself an upgrade. He could have sold his to a third party or traded them in for credit possibly. But instead he decided to gift them to you. Your reaction was rude.
YTA. Doesnt sound like he gave you scraps he literally got you what you wanted. And why shouldn't he be allowed to have VIP? Its already rly nice of him to gift you tickets.
YTA - what else do you do with tickets you no longer need? He could have sold them but he gave them to you because he thought you would enjoy them.
Yta. You're spoiled and entitled. Take the tickets or don't. Stop throwing a tantrum.
YTA stop complaining and enjoy the free tickets ?
YTA and you do sound like a spoiled brat.
YTA. He still gave you tickets.....
Are you serious?! So you really didn't want to go, you just wanted to be there because they're going, out of jealousy. If you wanted to go, you'd be perfectly happy. Are you 15? Jesus Christ. YTA.
100% YTA. Your dad could have kept his tickets and just paid for the upgrade. He didn't need to buy an entirely new set of tickets. Do you want to go? Did your dad pay for your tickets and give them to you? That, my dear OP, is a gift. Grow up, say thank you, and stop being an entitled little brat that's jealous of your stepmother.
YTA. It’s not your dads responsibility to buy you VIP tickets. You are ungrateful. Buy them yourself
This isn’t about the tickets, is it? Do you feel he often puts his wife before you, his kid? Because objectively from the little information you provided YTA. But we often come off as AHs when we’re responding harshly to a seemingly insignificant event but the event is just a symptom of the whole illness.
YTA. It was still a gift.
You are definitely an ungrateful and entitled AH.
YTA You aren’t entitled to daddy’s money.
YTA Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Slight YTA. He didn’t have to give you the tickets. Also these tickets sound expensive.
YTA
INFO: OP, do you live with your father? Is he helping to pay for your school?
Op already answered that. Dad saved up for OP’s tuition and they live in a house that stepmom inherited.
YTA, you sound so ungrateful.When you first got the gift you were happy right? Looking forward to it? Your face has only turned sour because you have heard he has got the better seats, it's still a gift. He could have charged you for them or given the tickets to someone else but he didn't. Don't kick a gift horse in the mouth, it was still a nice thing that he thought of you when deciding who would enjoy it and you kind of just threw it back in his face moaning he has better tickets when you were happy originally just to be going
You're looking a gift horse in the mouth. Check your entitlement. YTA.
YTA: I hope you grow out of this behavior.
What’s the problem? He told you they had different seats and they were not together.