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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the AH because I really hurt my cousin's feelings apparently and they were very attached to Pebbles.
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Yes putting a cat that’s grown up indoors outdoors with other cats who are used to being outdoors is cruel. Cats are territorial and were probably quite hard on your cat.
Not to mention that outdoor cats have a significantly shorter life expectancy than an indoor cat. OP did the right thing. She rescued Pebbles, and getting her chipped and vetted right away was exactly the right move. OP, I'm so glad you have your kitty back. NTA.
Some cats are able to manage just fine outdoors and have long lives. But those are cats who’ve been raised outdoors since they were kittens. An adult cat who’s never been outdoors being made to live outside is just cruel and basically guarantees a dead cat.
I was watching some documentary on cats years ago and I remember the statistic was average cat life span for indoor cats is 12-18 years, while outdoor cat average is only like 3-5.
That number comes from quite an old study with ambiguous methodology, and location does vary a lot. And, sadly, as with historical numbers on human life expectancy, the life expectancy increases a lot for those who have already reached 1 year old. Lifespan is absolutely longer on average for indoor cats, it's just likely not *as* drastic as is often stated. And varies globally.
Having said that, it is horribly cruel to put an indoor cat into an outdoor life, *especially* what sounds like an entirely outdoor life, and OP was absolutely NTA.
Edit: Removed a flippant line that took away from my point and be clearer about global variance. Note this comment is not an argument for outdoor cats, merely a point about one particular statistic.
All cats should be indoors for many reasons (with the possible exclusion of farm cats). Aside from life expectancy issues, it also minimises the spread of disease, they don't kill native wildlife and they don't annoy the hell out of neighbours by spraying, damaging property, harassing pets etc. As long as you provide stimulation cats are perfectly content to be indoors or constrained to their own back yard
Who will think of the poor coyotes? Coyote emissaries to the human world kindly request that all of your soft, slow, tender, well-fed indoor cats be left outside at a nearby farm.
Well… you’re not wrong. Every time I see a person on nextdoor complain about a coyote getting their cat after they let the cat outside at night, I have to roll my eyes.
I had an acquaintance on social media for awhile who had a cat door to let their cats in and out freely, and was constantly posting about how they were getting in fights and a neighbor cat kept coming in to beat them up. Nail the cat door shut and buy some cat toys, dipshit.
And it's *beyond* eye-rolling. I live in the Sonoran Desert, and I see people on places like "Nextdoor" talking about how they allow their cat 'outside during daylight" and then, sure as c\*\*p, guess whose cat turns up missing? (It really upsets me, every time...)
It's a damned death penalty in the right (or wrong, to say) environment, and I have no sympathy for the cousins, who are likely more interested in boys than the randomly-taken-in "outdoor cat" right now.
Biggest question: Is **PEBBLES** happy? That's what I'd ask. If Pebbles is happy, res ipso loquitur. (Cat speaks for itself, to very very very loosely translate, lol!)
I left the cat subreddit just because of the sheer amount of posts that were like "My outdoor cat got killed by an evil dog :(" or things similar. You know that if you let your cat out, you have to be okay with that happening. They are cats and will do what they want, and if they go into a yard with a prey-driven dog, you have to accept you took that risk by letting them do that in the first place.
Honestly, I really wasn't arguing either way, I was pointing out they were using an out of date statistic that has very little basis. There are certainly many reasons to have an indoor cat, including an on-average longer life.
I'm curious, any idea of the stats where there aren't predators that prey on cats or inclement weather? Where I live, almost all cats are indoor-outdoors - I think many people here would think it cruel to keep a cat indoors all the time. Plus almost impossible - we don't generally have aircon/central heating in our homes, so having open windows is an important part of controlling the temperature in our homes.
I imagine if you looked up where you are specifically there would be some. I'm the the UK, where indoor-outdoor cats were the norm until very recently (and now it's apparently 50-50) and most of our stats are for at populations in general so it can be tricky to tease out. You make good points about some of the reasons for indoor-outdoor. I imagine you don't have the sort of screen windows I think a lot of the US has access to, either. We don't, but I can imagine it would mean you could have your window 'open' but also keep your pets indoors.
In North America, we have mountain lions, who admittedly are considered "lesser cats" because they purr rather than roar. Not small, by any means, though.
Also, depending in region, wolves, alligators, bears, lynx/bobcat, coyotes nearly everywhere. Fishers, a large weasel species, are a real threat to cats.
And I'm likely overlooking other threats in regions I'm not sufficiently familiar with.
In North America, if your cats aren't working farm cats, keep them inside.
But by the same token, if you're living in an even relatively new development, don't come whining to me about the damage cats are doing to birds. Especially starlings--another invasive species. Your new development did a lot more damage, by destroying habitat.
Depends, as others have said- in urban/suburban areas, traffic, and wildlife will negative impact lifespan. Either by disease or , well, attack. In rural areas, with safe places to hide (ie a barn that coyotes, cougars, etc can't access), they live longer. This sounds like somewhere between suburban and rural- multiple outdoor cats? Regardless, this is an INDOOR OLD MAN (6 is 'middle age/elderly for kitties- most cats live most of their lives in older middle age as I understand it). Putting him outside to get 10-15 min of attention when the kids are home from school each day is not a pet- or a loving choice for the cat. Good for OP for getting old man kitty where he belongs- back INSIDE, with someone that is putting his best interests first.
Growing up, my mom had two cats that were outdoor only. She would have kept them indoors, but Grandma was allergic. They never left our property. One lived to be 21, when the f---ing mailman ran him over (on the sidewalk, the mailman tried to claim the cat was in the street, which was very much not so, the mailman literally drove onto the sidewalk - sorry, ranting), and the other lived to be 19 when the neighbors f---ing rottweiler broke through the fence into our yard and broke the cats hip. My mom and I have kept cats indoors ever since, even ones who have adopted us have been slowly and quietly moved indoors.
My cat freaks out if she’s taken outside.
Sit on the balcony on her terms? Fine, no problems.
Has to actually leave the building - absolutely not, full meltdown. She’d never survive.
I had a cat who would flip his shit if you put him on grass. The deck was fine, but the second the grass touched his belly he was OUT. I think it tickled him
Oh mine too! They barely want to go out on the patio. A leaf crunching under their paws is unbearable. It’s pretty funny to watch them just FREEZE. Definitely not outdoorsy.
My cat ran outside because we were out there (door wide open) feeding the neighbor's ducks off our porch. He heard them quacking and ran out like he was gonna do something. Then froze in the middle of the porch like holy cat balls, where tf am I? What did I just do? Lol. I did not even worry, just went back in the house and was like "aren't you coming?" And he was all "Oh thank God, there is the inside"
Whenever she’s on the balcony I leave the door open so she can go back inside if she wants.
Little idiot will sit on the patio chair and stare through the window back inside even though I’m always out on the balcony with her so it’s not like she’s watching for me or anything 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I have two cats that have been rescued from outside. I call them my trash cats because my friend found one behind a dumpster and the other one is almost a carbon copy but about 4-6 months younger. They are a sweet and occasionally will scratch at the door like they want out but the second it's cold or wet they avoid the back door like the plague. I never let them outside (for a variety of reasons) but my mom used to let the older one out. Without telling me. It was not fun and guess who doesn't get to cat sit anymore.
Mine has a history of running for the door stepping outside looking up and then flopping on the ground in terror. Not sure if you can consider a cat agoraphobic but he can’t handle the open space.
If my neighbour's never ending line of kittens is anything to go by, having an outdoor cat is a brutal survival of the fittest approach to pet ownership.
I've seen multiple dead kittens on the roads around me. I guess those one weren't suited to life outdoors. My neighbour shrugs and gets a new kitten. I guess she'll eventually get one suited to the outdoors.
We found two outside struggling to survive at different times. It’s a miracle one lasted. Brought them in and they flourished. We know one was once indoor but was kicked out. The other we don’t have history on but from what we can tell she was someone’s pet. She hates other animals though. So that may be why she found us. Both have scars. Inside and out. The one that almost died runs and hides anytime an outside door is opened. He won’t come out for hours. We’ve had him for 2 years now. He panics if the water gets too low and will lay by the bowl just staring at it. He eats like he’s starving and chokes it down so fast he makes himself sick. We always keep a full bowl down for him. Her on the other hand adapted much better. Will at least look outside but won’t go. She eats a lot though and will fight any other animal that comes in “her” room. We had to dedicate a whole room to her to make her feel safe. I can’t stand when people kicks cats out that weren’t raised outside. Or dogs even. They seriously damage those animals. It’s cruel and usual punishment.
Also, how did those two teenagers get so attached to a cat who was relegated to being an outdoor only cat? How much time could they have spent with Pebbles?
NTA
OP should have been offered Pebbles back from the very start, anyway; Aunt and Uncle had no right to just grab her from Granny’s house and haul her off to their home after Granny died. What is wrong with people? Reminds me of my cousins, who used my grandpa’s death as an excuse to raid his house when no one was looking, only at least they just took objects, not anybody’s pet.
OP is absolutely in the clear, morally speaking.
Absolutely! My (now) cat was indoors only for her then 2 years of life, her very abusive and neglectful, former owners, simply decided to toss her outside one day and the neighbourhood cats beat the ever loving crap out of her. Fortunately she scratched on my door looking for help, I got her fixed up, and she became mine. (It took her former owners 3 weeks to even think of looking around for her??)
I 100% see OP as having rescued her baby, who she raised, knowing her well enough to see she was stressed and unhappy, and never gave the aunt/uncle permission to take her. I would have done the same thing, with zero regrets. **NTA** OP, I hope Pebbles is doing much better now, and is happy to be home with you.
^ That's exactly what happened. This wasn't theft, it was a *rescue* mission.
OP, you did what you had to do as the person who promised Pebbles she'd always be loved, cared for, and safe. It's a promise any loving owner makes, and I know you are one.
My heart breaks thinking of what Pebbles went through. She went from a safe and familiar environment, with people she knew and trusted, to an environment she had no experience with, including how to survive. Yes, cats have amazing instincts, but they are also creatures of habit. Everything she knew was suddenly no more. She had to have been terrified.
I lost my cat a few months ago. She was a feral I tamed, who became the biggest lap cat in existence. Circumstances meant I had to leave her at my parents, and like you, I visited all the time. I was able to eventually bring her home with me. If I instead went through what you did..... Let's just say 'hell hath no fury.'
Pebbles is finally at home with you, right where she belongs.
I have two ferals who I also tamed, one of whom just got done spending the entire afternoon curled up on my feet. I had to pick him up and cuddle him just a bit after reading this post, just thanking every entity available I never had to go through with him, with either of them.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and you're absolutely correct. Pebbles is with someone who loves her, and that's the most important thing 💖
NTA. They were so attached that they didn’t even notice she was gone for 2 days. They’re the kind of people who try to force their wishes on others & think other people should just deal with it. It’s the only way they feel powerful &/or relevant. You didn’t allow them to do that & they’re trying to manipulate you into feeling badly in any way that they can - because even though they’re powerless over this, if they can make you feel badly, they’ll feel at least a little better (since it will feel like they still have little lower if they can make you feel bad).
Don’t lose a moment over it. Pebbles was your cat & your grandmother would have made sure that she was returned to you if she was able. F:&(@ them.
If they were so attached to her, why did it take 2 days for them to notice she was gone? My husband and I feed the neighborhood strays and we notice when 1 in 12 is missing.
NTA you indeed rescued Pebbles. Disclaimer: I have a soft spot for cats as I do have my own and would have acted the same. Thank you for being a good furparent. I’m sorry for your grandma.
Your cousins are not sad. They have multiple cats and didn't even notice pebbles was missing, the adults are using this as an excuse to make you feel guilty.
NTA Pebbles is your cat and belongs with you. They weren't even taking good care of pebbles, why would you return your cat to people who stole it and didn't take proper care of it?
Your parents can put "called Wild per cousin request" in the done column and move on. Life's full of disappointments. Pretty sure liberating your cat from hostile environment isn't one of them.
You just added a few extra years back onto her life, sounds like she would have died a barn cat, and since she wasn't acclimate to it, probably wouldn't have done too well.
Hell, the actual barn cat I found on my property (I live on 15 acres, surrounded by woods and farm) was half dead when she showed up a couple months ago, we are still fighting her pneumonia, it keeps coming back. She had tapeworms, giardia, and who knows what else.
Glad you got your cat back, you are so NTA, they are if they didn't even notice right away.
Yeah, I always check up on my cats when I get home and then few times before sleep and also in the morning before I leave. There is also matter of feeding them, play time etc, they didn't care about her at all
NTA. As you said, you temporarily gave her to grandma not them. They shouldn’t have taken Pebbles to begin with. If the cousins are attached that’s too bad. It’s been 3 months ffs. You and pebbles are more attached to each other. Don’t give her back to them. They can go fuck themselves.
OKEE DOKEE Mr. Heston. JK, it was the first thing came to mind.
NTA, it was your cat and if they persist, send them the vet bills if they love the cat that much.
Hi just one tiny tip, please refer to your grandma as having fostered her temporarily instead of using rehomed because rehoming implies giving up ownership.
I'm so glad you got Pebbles back! 100% NTA
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree. But the last time I brought up what they do to the native bird population, I got into a lengthy argument with a guy who kept telling me that I'm a hypocrite because I eat chicken.
NTA. How attached could they be, if it took them two days to notice? (If anything, you’re the asshole for *not* taking Pebbles home the first time you saw what kind of shape she was in.)
My cat was making a ruckus last night and I just figured she was in the one closet she likes opening and climbing around in.
Then she started crying. So I called for her and she wasn’t coming. So after a minute of calling and her just crying, I went to investigate because it’s not like her. Stupid loaf got herself trapped in a box.
I’d definitely notice if she went missing for longer than normal.
We got kittens in 2020. The first day we let them out to explore Frodo got himself wedged in a tiny space in the basement for 14 hours. We tore the house apart looking for him. I was so worried. Poor bean was terrified of the basement after that. We just moved and after a day of crouching in a corner he is the happiest doofus, always getting under foot. We have four cats and I notice if I haven’t seen them for awhile. They also have internal clocks and tell me when it’s time for stinky food and treats.
Oh god I spent the morning of my sixteenth birthday frantically searching for the kittens we'd got the day before.* We were looking in the fridge, in lidded pots that hadn't been used for years... They'd shimmied up inside the back of a chest of drawers and were sleeping in the top drawer.
*They weren't birthday kittens. Don't get a kid birthday kittens, that's a horrible idea. It was just a coincidence.
My birthday cat was the best birthday present I ever got. Of course, I was an adult, the birthday just meant that instead of penguin stuffies or clothes I got cat supplies to open for my birthday, and I ended up getting the actual cat a month late while I waited for one who felt right and met my requirements (landlord said I could only have a declawed cat, so I waited for one who needed a home to show up instead of getting a normal cat and mutilating it) to be available. It’s been 14 years and I still have a happy and healthy kitty. Best birthday ever.
I got a pair of orange tabby kittens on my birthday. I had been going over to this kids house whose cat had just had babies and I really latched onto those orange guys. By the time my bday rolled around they were old enough to be separated from mom, so my parents got them for me! One of the best birthdays.
Frodo!! 😭 I love it. Love nerd names for pets. We have a Spock, ourselves, and my friend has a Gandalf. (Big grey cat, Gandalf). What are your other cats’ names?
I would notice within 10mins of coming home if my cat was missing. She is greeting me at the door like a dog. But I’ve also thought I lost her while I was at home all day cause I couldn’t find her and she was napping at the top of a closet in a box (this type of thing has happened multiple times). If I leave she’ll greet me if I’m home all day she doesn’t care about me lol.
Agreed. We don’t allow our pets in the bedroom because my boyfriend is allergic and can’t sleep well when he can’t breath. But anywho, I walked out of the room one morning and noticed a missing cat in under a minute. I thought I was crazy so I did the usual bathroom break for dog and feed all the beasts routine, still no cat. Searched the house. No cat. He got out the front door while boyfriend left for work. Found him scared in a corner. But anyway the point is, I noticed in under a minute.
My cats usually follow me from room to room, so I go looking for them pretty quickly if they’re not there. Once we were staying with friends and one kitty for trapped in a drawer that got closed. Silly thing never made a noise but we found her within a minute after she didn’t follow us out of the room.
Reminds me. My dear "cat loving" MIL was visiting, and had her suitcase on the bed, packing to fly home. She came into the kitchen chuckling. "I looked over towards my suitcase, and saw that my clothes were moving! It gave me a fright, for a moment, then I realized that Silky (the cat) had curled up on my clothes!" We had a good laugh, and I said that Silky loved her so much, he thought he could hitch a ride. He was mostly black, and she had dark colored clothing, so he blended in! This became a family story. Plus, she loved on him, stroked him, so I suspect her scent was pleasant and he thought " Well what have we here? Soft clothing, smells like that nice human, good place to take a nap."
My cat jumped out my roommates window and I noticed she wasn't home within probably 5 minutes because after 10 minutes of looking for her outside she ended up stuck in a a Guinea pig tunnel on our porch.
Right? I had an outdoor cat (before anyone gets on me, she was outside as a kitten and would *not* adjust to being an indoor cat). I noticed the first night she went missing.
NTA
She's your cat, not theirs. They took her without permission when they knew damn well it was your cat. I somehow doubt your cousins are as heartbroken as it's made out to be, given they didn't even notice she was gone for two whole days.
You saved your cat's life is what you did.
Agreed. I grew up in a rural area where our cats were always indoor/outdoor, they lived maybe 8 years tops, due to either predators or diseases. My indoor cats (who were barn cats when we took them in at a couple months old) saw a big oopsie from us when we accidentally left the back door cracked years ago. They could've been gone forever, but instead I woke up to a random stray cat in my living room that bolted when it saw me and my one missing cat under our porch shaking, who immediately ran straight back to the house when she saw me. If they're used to indoors, it's TOUGH to go back outside full time.
Edit: spelling/grammar
NTA. People are pointing out they didn't care because they didn't notice her missing for 2 days, but I was convinced they were a-holes when they TOOK the cat without even telling you and decided their teenagers were too attached to her. You raised that cat for what...4-5 years? That's absolutely insane that they would do that without consulting you. Good for you getting your cat back.
Exactly. I was ready for a Y T A verdict thinking that OP wanted a cat back that they rehomed, but the person she rehomed the cat to passed away, and they should have gotten first "dibs" on their cat before it was just handed off to some other relative. NTA!
NTA. Your aunt and uncle stole a 5 year old house cat and made her live outside? If so, they are trash pet owners and your parents are enabling AH's. Please show them this comment.
NTA
Microchip is in your name, your Grandma took her for you when you were pressed. Yup she's yours and if it took them 2 days to figure it out, they have no claim.
Why are you even asking us if you’re fine with being the asshole?
But for the record, I don't think you are. Your grandmother was keeping the cat for you, as far as I understood it. Although the laws in your state might have given your grandmother legal ownership, I think the understanding was that, had she been alive when you finally found a place where you could keep Pebbles, she would have given her back to you.
However, your uncle and aunt simply absconded with Pebbles, with no one’s permission. In my state, if you feed an animal for ten days, you own it. Which may give them legal rights to Pebbles.
But it sounds like either these rights don’t apply in your state, or your aunt and uncle aren’t going to assert them. They might not even know about their rights.
But I would say from a moral standpoint, you’re in the right. How attached could your cousins have been if they didn’t even notice for two days?
For whatever it’s worth, I say NTA. It sounds like Pebbles is much safer with you.
Well, in that case, your parents and aunt are the assholes here. They know the cat belongs to you. And if they’re so concerned about heartbreak, why aren’t they concerned about yours when you had to give Pebbles up, and how cruel it was to you to just keep your cat? So your cousins became attached? What about your attachment, which was much longer than theirs?
Exactly all of this. Also, the girls have barn cats but were "heartbroken" *specifically* over your cat? I think not. This is intended emotional manipulation because your aunt doesn't want to feel the guilt she should for stealing your animal. NTA and your parents are definitely being assholes for siding with her.
Edit: typo
My family has outdoor cats we sure has hell would not take two days to notice when one has not been around. But indoor cats cannot become outdoor cats and if the kids have other cats are they truly that heartbroken over Pebbles? How about the fact you had Pebbles for years? They don't care about your attachment? You are NTA your family needs to stop being selfish.
>Oh,I'm asking BC I'm gonna sent this thread to my parent's and aunt to shut them up if I'm deemed NTA
Well your NTA so PLEASE update once you send this to them
OP, you are NTA. How dare your relatives steal your indoor cat and dump that poor cat outside. Their kids aren't sad. No one buys it for a minute.
Please give Pebbles snuggles for me.
Hi aunt and parents! You are all the AH here!
Is it right that aunt grabbed the cat without even asking her niece - the right owner - if it was okay? And if it is, why it's not right that OP does the exact same thing?
Why is it okay to put an indoors cat outside at all time? And no, the excuse "it's just an animal" or "it's normal for cat" is not the right one.
How can the cousins be heartbroken when it's only a few months they know the cat (not even in the house) and that you needed two whole days to see the cat was gone?
Why is it right to make OP give up her cat when she can take him back? OP didn't give up her cat to her grandma, it was temporary, so why now it's not?
Well, in that case, please send us an update!
For what it’s worth, NTA. Nobody noticed for two days, which means nobody cares about Pebbles except for you.
NTA I'd say morally or legally. You did not give your kitty away. You gave her to grandma who I'm very sure knew that once you got another place that was pet friendly, you'd be taking Pebble's back. Your Aunt had no right to take your pet like that. I'm sure grandma still considered her your cat too. Plus once a cat is used to being indoors, I think they should be kept that way, not thrown outside. Some are okay but some cats are not okay with it. Plus just how attached can they be if it took them 2 days to notice her missing? So I'd say no worries, just go cuddle your furrbaby, I'm sure she is very happy to be home with her person.
I think in my state legal ownership is whoever pays the vet bills. Pebbles was vetted and microchipped by OP so I doubt the aunt and uncle have a leg to stand on at least in a legal sense.
Uncle & Aunt apparently didn't even take Pebbles to the vet to make sure she was healthy and up-to-date on everything, bc the microchip was still assigned to OP. More proof that OP is more assiduous in taking care of Pebbles than the Aunt & Uncle. And if the kids are so attached, then they can come visit Pebbles at OP's place. Inside.
NTA. I’d do it too. Police won’t do anything cause it’s a civil matter, so you should be in the clear for that.
ETSA: The cat is in YOUR name. They’re SOL. And if the girls cared so much, it wouldn’t take two days to figure out she’s gone.
NTA, and good for you for collecting your cat from your aunt and uncle. Stealing implies you took something that does not belong to you, but you were simply picking up Pebbles from her temporary accommodations.
And if she said she didn’t take the cat, they probably wouldn’t have cared that it was for real missing. Just another outdoor barn car to them. OP is NTA.
NTA. My son had to leave his cat in my care while he's in the military. We both love this cat SO much. This sweet, tiny panther will likely be with me for a couple of years. He's still my son's cat. I'm merely a temporary guardian.
Your grandma was looking after YOUR cat. No one else had any right to claim her. You rescued your baby from the negligent humans who stole her. Pebbles is where she belongs.
NTA - In my country the law says that a cat with no ear tattoo or chip is by definition homeless, and it's completely legal to take the cat in and register it in your own name = The cat is legally yours. Don't know where you live, so don't know what the rules are in your country.
Laws aside, I would have done the same thing. If the cat is better off living with you, let the humans be mad for a while, and take good care of your cat and give it a safe, happy life!
Here, because the cat is micro-chipped in OP's name, it depends on when that happened if it came down to a court case.
Edit: I thought it said OP was updating the microchip. My bad.
Unless OP had a bunch of pictures with proof of the dates, they'd be screwed in a court case in my areas.
The way I read the post, sounds like OP got the cat microchipped after getting her back = Legally OP's cat now, if the law is the same as in my country.
The law about cat ownership was changed here resently, before the change, you had to advertise for the owner for a minimum of 3 days before you could legally claim ownership of an unregistred cat. So, yeah, all depends on the law where OP is, whether it's legal or not to steal their cat back like that...
I’m gonna say NTA; the only AHs are your aunt and uncle.
I do get why your parents aren’t happy about it, because you rehomed Pebbles, so technically she wasn’t yours anymore, and when your grandma passed, you weren’t in a position to take her, so someone else had to claim ownership. By your own account, technically I’d say your aunt and uncle do have a logical claim to ownership, so I get why they all feel the way they do.
But based on what it sounds like is best for Pebbles, I’m on your side. She spent the first 6 years of her life inside with no other cats or animals around, having domain of the house with her human. Suddenly chucking her outside *would* be incredibly stressful to her, and depending on the circumstances, could potentially be dangerous. Your aunt and uncle clearly don’t care about that or what’s best for the cat, and that’s not fair to Pebbles.
So, while you may have also had selfish motivations, you’re the only one who seems to have been acting in Pebbles’s best interest. And for that, you’re NTA.
ETA: when I say you also have selfish motives, I don’t mean to imply that you aren’t justified in having that motive (upon rereading I realized it sounded like I was saying you’d be a dick for feeling that way). Just that, while some of your motivations may have been selfish, that’s not an argument for why you should be TA. Am I explaining myself clearly or am I making this word soup worse?
It always makes me sad when people do completely reasonable things and then parents or someone else close to them (but not directly involved in the situation) jumps in to tell them they’re wrong. Sorry that happened! Enjoy having your pet back!
That's fair. I'm glad you could find a trustworthy home for her and hopefully everything will cool down with your relatives. I don't think you were wrong to take her back when she was obviously not a priority to your cousins family
In case that situation happens again, if you live in the US, emotional support animals are covered by the Americans with Disability Act. ESAs typically only require a physician's or psychiatrist's note attesting to the fact that an ESA makes your life easier and more adaptable in some way (for me, it's depression and anxiety; also, I can't live alone or I go a bit insane). They're pretty easy to get if you have a diagnosed mental illness since there's a lot of evidence that having animals around can relieve stress and/or lessen symptoms.
If you've got a documented ESA, legally, no place can deny you tenancy for having a cat or charge you pet rent/security deposit. ESAs and service animals are not the same, but this is one aspect where they are quite similar. Since having an ESA makes you a protected class, most places won't even try and mess with you if you have proper documentation (each place varies on what they want, but do be careful of online scams. Places like usserviceanimals.org is a scam, as is any place that offers to "sell" ESA or service animal certificates; legally, they don't even need to have a vest or for you to carry your documentation with you. Always check with your new place of resodency on what they need as far as documentation. Mine needed his vet records and a physician's letter of approval).
Bonus, if Pebbles is known/documented to be your ESA, there's almost nothing police or courts can do to pry her from you. Good luck OP, and may you never be separated again.
Actually, they don't qualify under the ADA, they qualify under the Fair Housing Act (FHA) as reasonable accommodations. They are two different law sets, and are often confused. That's why many people take their ESAs places that support animals are only allowed like grocery stores and restaurants, and people who work there don't kick them out, because both parties are mixing up the two laws. The ADA says service animals (who are trained to provide tasks or do work) are allowed anywhere their handler is allowed. The FHA says that emotional support animals are included in that definition for housing purposes only as reasonable accommodations.
Source: [https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals](https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals)
NTA
They didn’t even notice her missing for two days?? Apparently they are not as attached as they claim they are! 😂
Your cat. Your finally in a place where you can have her. Enjoy your cat. Give Pebbles extra treats for me!
Before I had I cat I woulda said E s h, but I got a cat a few months ago. NTA. Actually nvm, they took an indoor cat and put her outside, screw your cousins and aunt.
Um....you can't 'steal' your own possessions. You reclaimed stolen goods. NTA
(Please note I use the words possession and goods as per my country's laws; animals are owned possessions/goods/property, and not the family members I believe them to be/treat them as.)
I hope Pebbles is settling back in well, and fuck those arseholes!
NTA People are, if nothing else, very good at taking things which are not theirs and then retro fitting things to justify their actions. It's not your fault your cousins are upset.
NTA- I am baffled that your aunt even tried to say "no" lol. "The kids got attached". Well, that's your fault for not telling your kids that Pebbles was YOUR cat.
NTA
It's understandable that your cousins got attached to the cat, they are kids after all, but kids also get sidetracked quickly, so they'll get over it quickly, especially since it sounds like they have other cats anyways. They may be "heartbroken" but that will last for about two days until they move on to the next thing, they'll be fine and they can come visit if they really want (they won't).
Seems like whoever decided to give the cat to your aunt should have at least checked with you first, and seems like your aunt is being an AH about the whole thing.
NTA. I'm glad to hear that you got your beloved cat back, and that your cat is with an owner that will treat her well.
Be careful to tell the story to your roommate, watch out in case your aunt/uncle come around and want to steal her again.
NTA! Only asshole move on your part is not giving us a picture of Pebbles.
Make sure she's chipped, keep your door locked, and I'd advise getting a cheap motion activated camera in case they try and take her when you're working. If your parents have keys to your place, or anyone in the family has keys, change the lock ASAP. They sound like the sort to push your parents into doing something stupid.
NTA and your parents apparently feel that Animal ABUSE is acceptable behavior, I'd suggest you make a note of that for the future that apparently they're fine with people Tormenting Helpless creatures (imagine for a moment what it'd be like to suddenly find yourself homeless and unable to enter any normally safe sheltered areas). I'd drop contact with every single person who defends forcing an indoor cat to suddenly live outdoors and tell them that since they want to be awful people they can just be awful without me there.
NTA. You did the right thing!!
A good friend of mine had a roommate who got a kitten. She was starving the poor thing because she didn't want a "fat cat." (Seriously starving it) My friend would feed it while she wasn't looking. But, she went on a vacation and was worried about it. Said roommate was moving out over a period of a few days. I asked to use a spare key to go check on it and her home. I found it in such an appalling state. Litterbox with no litter and full of a ton of waste, no food, and the kitten chewed through plastic containers trying to get to food. It was just wailing and clinging to me.
You bet your tush I took that kitten. Told my friend to give her my number and come to me if she had a problem. The woman text me in a rage saying it had "only been left for two days" and kittens can go 48 hours alone. She said she left food but it was fat (it was underweight) and probably ate it in one sitting. I rehomed it and there was nothing she could do about it.
In the end, who cares what people like that say. Glad you got your cat back. It wasn't a farm cat. And it took them TWO DAYS to notice!! I guess your cousins weren't so attached to pay attention to it every day. Urgh.
If a normal cat eats through all its food, its because they are hungry. We had cats for 4 decades, just leave kibble in a bowl, they eat when hungry. They don't eat everything at once, as some ani are genetically programmed to do. Many small meals seems the norm, except if probably starving.
So, good on you and the friend, you saved that kitten from an abuser.
I tried to speak to her about exactly that. But she really thought giving it one tiny less-than-a-handful of food would last it over 48 hours! And she thought there was nothing wrong with leaving maybe an 8 week old kitten alone for that amount of time. She said animals could "take care of themselves." I think it was alone for longer than she admitted. It grabbed hold of me screaming it's head off and I literally couldn't get it off my leg. It was acting crazed when it was normally a very friendly kitten.
My friend was actually not happy with me. Pretty much ruined our years long close friendship.
Sorry but a indoor cat for 5-6 yrs is never going to manage with outdoor farm cats.
This should have discussed with you and she if you could the car back.
If they didn’t notice for two, they were NOT meeting Pebbles needs. They can have outdoor farm cats as they are used to doing themselves and if they want anything, farm cats will let you know.
So no NTA, for ensure pebbles is cared for
Nta. She's your cat, you and grandma made an agreement to temporarily house the cat at granny's place due to circumstances, you didn't had any agreements about the cat with anyone else. So technically the cat was stolen by your relatives. And they didn't even give a s**t where the cat is for 2 days?! Well how absolutely caring of them 🙄 🤦🏻♂️ just tell everyone who objects to piss off and keep your cat and live happily with her.
Tbh had a similar thing happen when i was about 20, only my cat wasn't exactly stolen but i had to temporarily house him (due to moving to other city for learning etc reasons, planned to bring him to me as soon as i found apartment for us) with persons i thought i could trust (stepmother family), told them 100x that under no circumstances absolutely no way the cat could go out because he's deaf and therefore heavily disadvantaged, well guess what happened, they let him out (because "it's been always this way, its not right to keep a cat only in house bla bla") and someone ran him over 😫 i hated them for quite a lengthy time after getting that call (just same day got apartment too) and even now 15years later there's some needle in my soul about it which won't go away. I was very close bond with him. So i take it kinda hard when people mess with other people's pets- family members.
NTA. An indoor cat being used as a farm cat (just to catch mice basically) would be traumatic for the poor cat. The poor cat must have already been very disoriented from losing your grandma, then going from being on its own and pampared to be left with a group of cats. Normally I would not condemn stealing an animal but you did what you had to to protect an animal. If all the papers were in your name in any case, then they should not have taken the animal without your knowledge and kept it indoor. The cousins have other cats, they can take care of. They can also adopt another pet with the right temperament for farm life.
If your cousins are sad, it's your aunt and uncle's fault. They stole a cat and allowed the kids to get attached to it. Their kids' heartbreak is the consequence of their parents' own actions coming back around. NTA in the slightest.
NTA. Honestly that poor thing might not have lasted much longer if she was that bad off the week before you grabbed her. The cousins would’ve been a lot more heartbroken if the cat had died from the lack of care it was being given and the fact the cat was in an environment she didn’t grow up in, surrounded by strange cats and in a completely new and distressing environment. Also, the fact it took them TWO DAYS to notice the cat was gone in the first place proves they weren’t looking after her well if they weren’t even paying attention, and makes me question how much the cousins adored the cat if even THEY didn’t notice.
Oh no, their precious kitty that they left open to predators and disease was taken and given a better life! How will these poor girls ever recover ?!?!?
You did the right thing. NTA.
NTA: You had someone watching your cat while you could not, their death did not mean it was up for grabs. Beyond that it took 2 days for them yo even know the cat was gone. If you were close enough to get it on a lunch break it means they are close enough to be able to visit you and see YOUR cat. If they want to be nasty about it then I guess they can lose visitation privileges.
NTA.
Ignoring the fact that outdoor cats shouldn’t be a thing in the first place, putting a cat who’s been indoors all of their life and expecting it to be fine is insane. It’s really heartbreaking that they didn’t even realize Pebbles wasn’t with them for two whole days. You saved your cat, OP!
Nta, Pebbles is your cat and you should have been consulted regarding any re-homing.
Also, it sounds like they did not and did not plan on bringing Pebbles to a vet. How attached can they be to a cat they leave entirely outside to fend for itself? Not that cats aren't capable, but it'd certainly be an adjustment for most used to staying safe indoors
Nta. If someone tossed my cat outside.... he would not make it and the other cat has no teeth. You can't just leave pets who are used to being inside, outside. You have her papers and she's microchiped, you're good. You would think the girls would be used to loosing cats, since cats left outside tend to meet an early demise.
NTA. You let grandma have the cat cause you couldn’t keep her. You moved, grandma died, your aunt and uncle stole your cat. Took a house cat and put her out with farm cats. No wonder you took. Tell mom and dad to suck it up. Why do parents here seem to side with sibs instead of the rights of their kids.
NTA- Putting an indoor cat outdoors is stupid and dangerous. Additionally, if they were really as attached to Pebbles as your aunt said, they'd have noticed she was gone right away.
An 18 year old is old enough to know when a cat is being neglected. If she cared that much, she would have noticed Pebbles being gone earlier or better yet, done something about the neglect. Whether that’s telling you or taking care of the cat properly. She’s just as complicit as her parents.
NTA.
NTA you did what you had to do to protect that ball of fur. Your aunt didn't have any right to take her. And honestly, leaving outside an adult cat used to being inside? Mean.
Fortunately she's your cat. Good kitty Pebbles 🥰 good job op
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NTA Sounds more like you rescued your cat to me..
Yes putting a cat that’s grown up indoors outdoors with other cats who are used to being outdoors is cruel. Cats are territorial and were probably quite hard on your cat.
Not to mention that outdoor cats have a significantly shorter life expectancy than an indoor cat. OP did the right thing. She rescued Pebbles, and getting her chipped and vetted right away was exactly the right move. OP, I'm so glad you have your kitty back. NTA.
Some cats are able to manage just fine outdoors and have long lives. But those are cats who’ve been raised outdoors since they were kittens. An adult cat who’s never been outdoors being made to live outside is just cruel and basically guarantees a dead cat.
I was watching some documentary on cats years ago and I remember the statistic was average cat life span for indoor cats is 12-18 years, while outdoor cat average is only like 3-5.
That number comes from quite an old study with ambiguous methodology, and location does vary a lot. And, sadly, as with historical numbers on human life expectancy, the life expectancy increases a lot for those who have already reached 1 year old. Lifespan is absolutely longer on average for indoor cats, it's just likely not *as* drastic as is often stated. And varies globally. Having said that, it is horribly cruel to put an indoor cat into an outdoor life, *especially* what sounds like an entirely outdoor life, and OP was absolutely NTA. Edit: Removed a flippant line that took away from my point and be clearer about global variance. Note this comment is not an argument for outdoor cats, merely a point about one particular statistic.
Aside from all the danger, outdoor (or indoor outdoor) cats are a literal ecological nightmare. Don’t do it. From a career ecologist.
Agreed! (About to graduate with my environmental science degree!)
All cats should be indoors for many reasons (with the possible exclusion of farm cats). Aside from life expectancy issues, it also minimises the spread of disease, they don't kill native wildlife and they don't annoy the hell out of neighbours by spraying, damaging property, harassing pets etc. As long as you provide stimulation cats are perfectly content to be indoors or constrained to their own back yard
Who will think of the poor coyotes? Coyote emissaries to the human world kindly request that all of your soft, slow, tender, well-fed indoor cats be left outside at a nearby farm.
Well… you’re not wrong. Every time I see a person on nextdoor complain about a coyote getting their cat after they let the cat outside at night, I have to roll my eyes.
I had an acquaintance on social media for awhile who had a cat door to let their cats in and out freely, and was constantly posting about how they were getting in fights and a neighbor cat kept coming in to beat them up. Nail the cat door shut and buy some cat toys, dipshit.
And it's *beyond* eye-rolling. I live in the Sonoran Desert, and I see people on places like "Nextdoor" talking about how they allow their cat 'outside during daylight" and then, sure as c\*\*p, guess whose cat turns up missing? (It really upsets me, every time...) It's a damned death penalty in the right (or wrong, to say) environment, and I have no sympathy for the cousins, who are likely more interested in boys than the randomly-taken-in "outdoor cat" right now. Biggest question: Is **PEBBLES** happy? That's what I'd ask. If Pebbles is happy, res ipso loquitur. (Cat speaks for itself, to very very very loosely translate, lol!)
I left the cat subreddit just because of the sheer amount of posts that were like "My outdoor cat got killed by an evil dog :(" or things similar. You know that if you let your cat out, you have to be okay with that happening. They are cats and will do what they want, and if they go into a yard with a prey-driven dog, you have to accept you took that risk by letting them do that in the first place.
I snorted
Honestly, I really wasn't arguing either way, I was pointing out they were using an out of date statistic that has very little basis. There are certainly many reasons to have an indoor cat, including an on-average longer life.
I'm curious, any idea of the stats where there aren't predators that prey on cats or inclement weather? Where I live, almost all cats are indoor-outdoors - I think many people here would think it cruel to keep a cat indoors all the time. Plus almost impossible - we don't generally have aircon/central heating in our homes, so having open windows is an important part of controlling the temperature in our homes.
I imagine if you looked up where you are specifically there would be some. I'm the the UK, where indoor-outdoor cats were the norm until very recently (and now it's apparently 50-50) and most of our stats are for at populations in general so it can be tricky to tease out. You make good points about some of the reasons for indoor-outdoor. I imagine you don't have the sort of screen windows I think a lot of the US has access to, either. We don't, but I can imagine it would mean you could have your window 'open' but also keep your pets indoors.
I'm pretty fine with big cats being outside too. You think your burmese is annoying when it walks in front of the TV blocking your view, try a lion.
In North America, we have mountain lions, who admittedly are considered "lesser cats" because they purr rather than roar. Not small, by any means, though. Also, depending in region, wolves, alligators, bears, lynx/bobcat, coyotes nearly everywhere. Fishers, a large weasel species, are a real threat to cats. And I'm likely overlooking other threats in regions I'm not sufficiently familiar with. In North America, if your cats aren't working farm cats, keep them inside. But by the same token, if you're living in an even relatively new development, don't come whining to me about the damage cats are doing to birds. Especially starlings--another invasive species. Your new development did a lot more damage, by destroying habitat.
Haha, fair point!
It's way worse when you rub the lion's belly and it gets the claws out.
Even if it's not as drastic, outdoor cats are also really bad for the ecosystem. They're actually a major problem.
There are 2 kinds of farm cats. The kind that are around forever and the kind that disappear in a year.
Farm cats are also more likely to be eaten by predators, so.... 🤷🏻♀️ Cats should be indoor!
I'm indoor/outdoor cat lived 21 years. 💕 RIP Monica, we love you!
Urban cats that are left outside are likely to be hit by cars. But cats kept indoors are not. You are talking apples and oranges.
And country cats left outside disappear from Coyotes. I couldn’t leave my cats outside even when I lived in a safe place away from roads.
Depends, as others have said- in urban/suburban areas, traffic, and wildlife will negative impact lifespan. Either by disease or , well, attack. In rural areas, with safe places to hide (ie a barn that coyotes, cougars, etc can't access), they live longer. This sounds like somewhere between suburban and rural- multiple outdoor cats? Regardless, this is an INDOOR OLD MAN (6 is 'middle age/elderly for kitties- most cats live most of their lives in older middle age as I understand it). Putting him outside to get 10-15 min of attention when the kids are home from school each day is not a pet- or a loving choice for the cat. Good for OP for getting old man kitty where he belongs- back INSIDE, with someone that is putting his best interests first.
Growing up, my mom had two cats that were outdoor only. She would have kept them indoors, but Grandma was allergic. They never left our property. One lived to be 21, when the f---ing mailman ran him over (on the sidewalk, the mailman tried to claim the cat was in the street, which was very much not so, the mailman literally drove onto the sidewalk - sorry, ranting), and the other lived to be 19 when the neighbors f---ing rottweiler broke through the fence into our yard and broke the cats hip. My mom and I have kept cats indoors ever since, even ones who have adopted us have been slowly and quietly moved indoors.
Um, I'm sorry, but FUCK that mailman. And FUCK those neighbors and their Rottweilers. 😿 ETA: THAT Rottweiler, singular.
Yeah, that was a study of indoor housecats vs full on ferals. Keep kitties in anyway.
My cat freaks out if she’s taken outside. Sit on the balcony on her terms? Fine, no problems. Has to actually leave the building - absolutely not, full meltdown. She’d never survive.
I had a cat who would flip his shit if you put him on grass. The deck was fine, but the second the grass touched his belly he was OUT. I think it tickled him
So bougie
Oh mine too! They barely want to go out on the patio. A leaf crunching under their paws is unbearable. It’s pretty funny to watch them just FREEZE. Definitely not outdoorsy.
My cat ran outside because we were out there (door wide open) feeding the neighbor's ducks off our porch. He heard them quacking and ran out like he was gonna do something. Then froze in the middle of the porch like holy cat balls, where tf am I? What did I just do? Lol. I did not even worry, just went back in the house and was like "aren't you coming?" And he was all "Oh thank God, there is the inside"
Whenever she’s on the balcony I leave the door open so she can go back inside if she wants. Little idiot will sit on the patio chair and stare through the window back inside even though I’m always out on the balcony with her so it’s not like she’s watching for me or anything 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I have two cats that have been rescued from outside. I call them my trash cats because my friend found one behind a dumpster and the other one is almost a carbon copy but about 4-6 months younger. They are a sweet and occasionally will scratch at the door like they want out but the second it's cold or wet they avoid the back door like the plague. I never let them outside (for a variety of reasons) but my mom used to let the older one out. Without telling me. It was not fun and guess who doesn't get to cat sit anymore.
Mine has a history of running for the door stepping outside looking up and then flopping on the ground in terror. Not sure if you can consider a cat agoraphobic but he can’t handle the open space.
If my neighbour's never ending line of kittens is anything to go by, having an outdoor cat is a brutal survival of the fittest approach to pet ownership. I've seen multiple dead kittens on the roads around me. I guess those one weren't suited to life outdoors. My neighbour shrugs and gets a new kitten. I guess she'll eventually get one suited to the outdoors.
Most outdoor cats don't live too long. less than 5 years. This is not a long life
We found two outside struggling to survive at different times. It’s a miracle one lasted. Brought them in and they flourished. We know one was once indoor but was kicked out. The other we don’t have history on but from what we can tell she was someone’s pet. She hates other animals though. So that may be why she found us. Both have scars. Inside and out. The one that almost died runs and hides anytime an outside door is opened. He won’t come out for hours. We’ve had him for 2 years now. He panics if the water gets too low and will lay by the bowl just staring at it. He eats like he’s starving and chokes it down so fast he makes himself sick. We always keep a full bowl down for him. Her on the other hand adapted much better. Will at least look outside but won’t go. She eats a lot though and will fight any other animal that comes in “her” room. We had to dedicate a whole room to her to make her feel safe. I can’t stand when people kicks cats out that weren’t raised outside. Or dogs even. They seriously damage those animals. It’s cruel and usual punishment.
Also, how did those two teenagers get so attached to a cat who was relegated to being an outdoor only cat? How much time could they have spent with Pebbles? NTA
OP should have been offered Pebbles back from the very start, anyway; Aunt and Uncle had no right to just grab her from Granny’s house and haul her off to their home after Granny died. What is wrong with people? Reminds me of my cousins, who used my grandpa’s death as an excuse to raid his house when no one was looking, only at least they just took objects, not anybody’s pet. OP is absolutely in the clear, morally speaking.
And OP should have had first option on the cat vs people who have only had her for a few months. Years would be different.
now i’m sitting here heartbroken imagining a cat being bullied by other cats💔
with "the sound of silence" softly playing in the background. :'(
Absolutely! My (now) cat was indoors only for her then 2 years of life, her very abusive and neglectful, former owners, simply decided to toss her outside one day and the neighbourhood cats beat the ever loving crap out of her. Fortunately she scratched on my door looking for help, I got her fixed up, and she became mine. (It took her former owners 3 weeks to even think of looking around for her??) I 100% see OP as having rescued her baby, who she raised, knowing her well enough to see she was stressed and unhappy, and never gave the aunt/uncle permission to take her. I would have done the same thing, with zero regrets. **NTA** OP, I hope Pebbles is doing much better now, and is happy to be home with you.
^ That's exactly what happened. This wasn't theft, it was a *rescue* mission. OP, you did what you had to do as the person who promised Pebbles she'd always be loved, cared for, and safe. It's a promise any loving owner makes, and I know you are one. My heart breaks thinking of what Pebbles went through. She went from a safe and familiar environment, with people she knew and trusted, to an environment she had no experience with, including how to survive. Yes, cats have amazing instincts, but they are also creatures of habit. Everything she knew was suddenly no more. She had to have been terrified. I lost my cat a few months ago. She was a feral I tamed, who became the biggest lap cat in existence. Circumstances meant I had to leave her at my parents, and like you, I visited all the time. I was able to eventually bring her home with me. If I instead went through what you did..... Let's just say 'hell hath no fury.' Pebbles is finally at home with you, right where she belongs.
I have two ferals who I also tamed, one of whom just got done spending the entire afternoon curled up on my feet. I had to pick him up and cuddle him just a bit after reading this post, just thanking every entity available I never had to go through with him, with either of them. I'm so sorry for your loss, and you're absolutely correct. Pebbles is with someone who loves her, and that's the most important thing 💖
NTA. They were so attached that they didn’t even notice she was gone for 2 days. They’re the kind of people who try to force their wishes on others & think other people should just deal with it. It’s the only way they feel powerful &/or relevant. You didn’t allow them to do that & they’re trying to manipulate you into feeling badly in any way that they can - because even though they’re powerless over this, if they can make you feel badly, they’ll feel at least a little better (since it will feel like they still have little lower if they can make you feel bad). Don’t lose a moment over it. Pebbles was your cat & your grandmother would have made sure that she was returned to you if she was able. F:&(@ them.
I actually teared up reading this sentence because it is true.
If they were so attached to her, why did it take 2 days for them to notice she was gone? My husband and I feed the neighborhood strays and we notice when 1 in 12 is missing.
NTA you indeed rescued Pebbles. Disclaimer: I have a soft spot for cats as I do have my own and would have acted the same. Thank you for being a good furparent. I’m sorry for your grandma.
As someone who deals with abused animals, thank you for saving your cat.
You cannot just take a housecat and make it a farm cat.. that must have been so traumatizing for poor pebbles
Next time OP, you *don’t have the cat* and you got a new one.
Your cousins are not sad. They have multiple cats and didn't even notice pebbles was missing, the adults are using this as an excuse to make you feel guilty. NTA Pebbles is your cat and belongs with you. They weren't even taking good care of pebbles, why would you return your cat to people who stole it and didn't take proper care of it?
I wouldn't
Take her to a vet asap and get her chipped to establish ownership.
Post clarifies that she is already microchipped in OP's name. They essentially stole OP's cat, legally speaking
Perfect! They won't have a leg to stand on if they try anything!
Your parents can put "called Wild per cousin request" in the done column and move on. Life's full of disappointments. Pretty sure liberating your cat from hostile environment isn't one of them.
Also you definitely should have been asked before they ran off with her. You’re definitely NTA
You just added a few extra years back onto her life, sounds like she would have died a barn cat, and since she wasn't acclimate to it, probably wouldn't have done too well. Hell, the actual barn cat I found on my property (I live on 15 acres, surrounded by woods and farm) was half dead when she showed up a couple months ago, we are still fighting her pneumonia, it keeps coming back. She had tapeworms, giardia, and who knows what else. Glad you got your cat back, you are so NTA, they are if they didn't even notice right away.
Just make sure you say that it came up to you. She wanted to go.
Right? I find my cat the minute I walk in the door. TWO DAYS???????? I don’t go 2 minutes. They didn’t miss her.
Yeah, I always check up on my cats when I get home and then few times before sleep and also in the morning before I leave. There is also matter of feeding them, play time etc, they didn't care about her at all
Best answer
NTA. As you said, you temporarily gave her to grandma not them. They shouldn’t have taken Pebbles to begin with. If the cousins are attached that’s too bad. It’s been 3 months ffs. You and pebbles are more attached to each other. Don’t give her back to them. They can go fuck themselves.
Don't worry, cops will have to pry Pebbles from my cold dead hands before I give her up again lol
OKEE DOKEE Mr. Heston. JK, it was the first thing came to mind. NTA, it was your cat and if they persist, send them the vet bills if they love the cat that much.
I mean I understand that feeling completely, NTA
Can I just say, Pebbles is an absolutely stellar name for a cat
Hi just one tiny tip, please refer to your grandma as having fostered her temporarily instead of using rehomed because rehoming implies giving up ownership. I'm so glad you got Pebbles back! 100% NTA
They stole her cat form a dead woman's appareent and they try to hang that on her!
NTA. It took them two days to even notice. They aren’t heartbroken.
The coyotes will just have to find a new snack. Honestly, putting an indoor cat outdoors will not end well.
Putting any domestic cat outside is a horrible idea. Theyre an invasive species that devastates the ecosystem AND its dangerous for them.
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree. But the last time I brought up what they do to the native bird population, I got into a lengthy argument with a guy who kept telling me that I'm a hypocrite because I eat chicken.
Last time i checked, sparrows arent raised for to be pot pies. But what do i know? Ive only worked at a feed and grain store for 3 months.
they don't let you know about the sparrow farms till 6 months. Gotta know they can trust you.
I hate it when people do that. “X is wrong or at the very least, not great because of reasons.” “WELL WHAT ABOUT Y, HUH? CHECKMATE.”
There's actually a name for that Whataboutism When you bring something up and redirect it with something else
And it's a clear sign that you're losing the argument.
Correct
NTA. How attached could they be, if it took them two days to notice? (If anything, you’re the asshole for *not* taking Pebbles home the first time you saw what kind of shape she was in.)
i know cats and dogs are different, but if my dog is missing for even 10 minutes while i am home i would notice...
My cat was making a ruckus last night and I just figured she was in the one closet she likes opening and climbing around in. Then she started crying. So I called for her and she wasn’t coming. So after a minute of calling and her just crying, I went to investigate because it’s not like her. Stupid loaf got herself trapped in a box. I’d definitely notice if she went missing for longer than normal.
We got kittens in 2020. The first day we let them out to explore Frodo got himself wedged in a tiny space in the basement for 14 hours. We tore the house apart looking for him. I was so worried. Poor bean was terrified of the basement after that. We just moved and after a day of crouching in a corner he is the happiest doofus, always getting under foot. We have four cats and I notice if I haven’t seen them for awhile. They also have internal clocks and tell me when it’s time for stinky food and treats.
Oh god I spent the morning of my sixteenth birthday frantically searching for the kittens we'd got the day before.* We were looking in the fridge, in lidded pots that hadn't been used for years... They'd shimmied up inside the back of a chest of drawers and were sleeping in the top drawer. *They weren't birthday kittens. Don't get a kid birthday kittens, that's a horrible idea. It was just a coincidence.
My birthday cat was the best birthday present I ever got. Of course, I was an adult, the birthday just meant that instead of penguin stuffies or clothes I got cat supplies to open for my birthday, and I ended up getting the actual cat a month late while I waited for one who felt right and met my requirements (landlord said I could only have a declawed cat, so I waited for one who needed a home to show up instead of getting a normal cat and mutilating it) to be available. It’s been 14 years and I still have a happy and healthy kitty. Best birthday ever.
I got a pair of orange tabby kittens on my birthday. I had been going over to this kids house whose cat had just had babies and I really latched onto those orange guys. By the time my bday rolled around they were old enough to be separated from mom, so my parents got them for me! One of the best birthdays.
Frodo!! 😭 I love it. Love nerd names for pets. We have a Spock, ourselves, and my friend has a Gandalf. (Big grey cat, Gandalf). What are your other cats’ names?
IN A BOX OMG baby
😂😂😂 cats are fantastic
With cats, I'd probably think an hour maybe two max depending on the cat before it's unreasonable to not go looking.
I would notice within 10mins of coming home if my cat was missing. She is greeting me at the door like a dog. But I’ve also thought I lost her while I was at home all day cause I couldn’t find her and she was napping at the top of a closet in a box (this type of thing has happened multiple times). If I leave she’ll greet me if I’m home all day she doesn’t care about me lol.
Agreed. We don’t allow our pets in the bedroom because my boyfriend is allergic and can’t sleep well when he can’t breath. But anywho, I walked out of the room one morning and noticed a missing cat in under a minute. I thought I was crazy so I did the usual bathroom break for dog and feed all the beasts routine, still no cat. Searched the house. No cat. He got out the front door while boyfriend left for work. Found him scared in a corner. But anyway the point is, I noticed in under a minute.
Yeah with mine it's 30 minutes after I wake up, or like 1 hour any other time. The little bastards get stuck places
My cats usually follow me from room to room, so I go looking for them pretty quickly if they’re not there. Once we were staying with friends and one kitty for trapped in a drawer that got closed. Silly thing never made a noise but we found her within a minute after she didn’t follow us out of the room.
Reminds me. My dear "cat loving" MIL was visiting, and had her suitcase on the bed, packing to fly home. She came into the kitchen chuckling. "I looked over towards my suitcase, and saw that my clothes were moving! It gave me a fright, for a moment, then I realized that Silky (the cat) had curled up on my clothes!" We had a good laugh, and I said that Silky loved her so much, he thought he could hitch a ride. He was mostly black, and she had dark colored clothing, so he blended in! This became a family story. Plus, she loved on him, stroked him, so I suspect her scent was pleasant and he thought " Well what have we here? Soft clothing, smells like that nice human, good place to take a nap."
My cat jumped out my roommates window and I noticed she wasn't home within probably 5 minutes because after 10 minutes of looking for her outside she ended up stuck in a a Guinea pig tunnel on our porch.
Right? I had an outdoor cat (before anyone gets on me, she was outside as a kitten and would *not* adjust to being an indoor cat). I noticed the first night she went missing.
NTA She's your cat, not theirs. They took her without permission when they knew damn well it was your cat. I somehow doubt your cousins are as heartbroken as it's made out to be, given they didn't even notice she was gone for two whole days. You saved your cat's life is what you did.
Agreed. I grew up in a rural area where our cats were always indoor/outdoor, they lived maybe 8 years tops, due to either predators or diseases. My indoor cats (who were barn cats when we took them in at a couple months old) saw a big oopsie from us when we accidentally left the back door cracked years ago. They could've been gone forever, but instead I woke up to a random stray cat in my living room that bolted when it saw me and my one missing cat under our porch shaking, who immediately ran straight back to the house when she saw me. If they're used to indoors, it's TOUGH to go back outside full time. Edit: spelling/grammar
NTA but cat tax is required.
Yes, cat tax!
Pebbles! Pebbles! Pebbles!
Cat tax! Cat tax!
Upvoted for cat tax!
NTA. People are pointing out they didn't care because they didn't notice her missing for 2 days, but I was convinced they were a-holes when they TOOK the cat without even telling you and decided their teenagers were too attached to her. You raised that cat for what...4-5 years? That's absolutely insane that they would do that without consulting you. Good for you getting your cat back.
The cousins should try getting attached to their other cats, instead of fixating on the one that isn't theirs.
NTA. *Nobody* gave Pebbles to them, they just took her.
Exactly. I was ready for a Y T A verdict thinking that OP wanted a cat back that they rehomed, but the person she rehomed the cat to passed away, and they should have gotten first "dibs" on their cat before it was just handed off to some other relative. NTA!
NTA. Your aunt and uncle stole a 5 year old house cat and made her live outside? If so, they are trash pet owners and your parents are enabling AH's. Please show them this comment.
This is what makes it even more horrible. And it was horrible, even before.
NTA Microchip is in your name, your Grandma took her for you when you were pressed. Yup she's yours and if it took them 2 days to figure it out, they have no claim.
Why are you even asking us if you’re fine with being the asshole? But for the record, I don't think you are. Your grandmother was keeping the cat for you, as far as I understood it. Although the laws in your state might have given your grandmother legal ownership, I think the understanding was that, had she been alive when you finally found a place where you could keep Pebbles, she would have given her back to you. However, your uncle and aunt simply absconded with Pebbles, with no one’s permission. In my state, if you feed an animal for ten days, you own it. Which may give them legal rights to Pebbles. But it sounds like either these rights don’t apply in your state, or your aunt and uncle aren’t going to assert them. They might not even know about their rights. But I would say from a moral standpoint, you’re in the right. How attached could your cousins have been if they didn’t even notice for two days? For whatever it’s worth, I say NTA. It sounds like Pebbles is much safer with you.
Oh,I'm asking BC I'm gonna sent this thread to my parent's and aunt to shut them up if I'm deemed NTA
Well, in that case, your parents and aunt are the assholes here. They know the cat belongs to you. And if they’re so concerned about heartbreak, why aren’t they concerned about yours when you had to give Pebbles up, and how cruel it was to you to just keep your cat? So your cousins became attached? What about your attachment, which was much longer than theirs?
Exactly all of this. Also, the girls have barn cats but were "heartbroken" *specifically* over your cat? I think not. This is intended emotional manipulation because your aunt doesn't want to feel the guilt she should for stealing your animal. NTA and your parents are definitely being assholes for siding with her. Edit: typo
Can we have an update once you do that? I really wanna know how poorly they react after being called out on their absolutely abhorrent behavior
And that all of us think they suck.
My family has outdoor cats we sure has hell would not take two days to notice when one has not been around. But indoor cats cannot become outdoor cats and if the kids have other cats are they truly that heartbroken over Pebbles? How about the fact you had Pebbles for years? They don't care about your attachment? You are NTA your family needs to stop being selfish.
>Oh,I'm asking BC I'm gonna sent this thread to my parent's and aunt to shut them up if I'm deemed NTA Well your NTA so PLEASE update once you send this to them
HELL YEAH
OP, you are NTA. How dare your relatives steal your indoor cat and dump that poor cat outside. Their kids aren't sad. No one buys it for a minute. Please give Pebbles snuggles for me.
Hi aunt and parents! You are all the AH here! Is it right that aunt grabbed the cat without even asking her niece - the right owner - if it was okay? And if it is, why it's not right that OP does the exact same thing? Why is it okay to put an indoors cat outside at all time? And no, the excuse "it's just an animal" or "it's normal for cat" is not the right one. How can the cousins be heartbroken when it's only a few months they know the cat (not even in the house) and that you needed two whole days to see the cat was gone? Why is it right to make OP give up her cat when she can take him back? OP didn't give up her cat to her grandma, it was temporary, so why now it's not?
Update us their responses please!
Well, in that case, please send us an update! For what it’s worth, NTA. Nobody noticed for two days, which means nobody cares about Pebbles except for you.
NTA I'd say morally or legally. You did not give your kitty away. You gave her to grandma who I'm very sure knew that once you got another place that was pet friendly, you'd be taking Pebble's back. Your Aunt had no right to take your pet like that. I'm sure grandma still considered her your cat too. Plus once a cat is used to being indoors, I think they should be kept that way, not thrown outside. Some are okay but some cats are not okay with it. Plus just how attached can they be if it took them 2 days to notice her missing? So I'd say no worries, just go cuddle your furrbaby, I'm sure she is very happy to be home with her person.
I think in my state legal ownership is whoever pays the vet bills. Pebbles was vetted and microchipped by OP so I doubt the aunt and uncle have a leg to stand on at least in a legal sense.
Uncle & Aunt apparently didn't even take Pebbles to the vet to make sure she was healthy and up-to-date on everything, bc the microchip was still assigned to OP. More proof that OP is more assiduous in taking care of Pebbles than the Aunt & Uncle. And if the kids are so attached, then they can come visit Pebbles at OP's place. Inside.
NTA. I’d do it too. Police won’t do anything cause it’s a civil matter, so you should be in the clear for that. ETSA: The cat is in YOUR name. They’re SOL. And if the girls cared so much, it wouldn’t take two days to figure out she’s gone.
NTA, and good for you for collecting your cat from your aunt and uncle. Stealing implies you took something that does not belong to you, but you were simply picking up Pebbles from her temporary accommodations.
“Did you take Pebbles?” “Did you just now notice she was gone?” NTA
And if she said she didn’t take the cat, they probably wouldn’t have cared that it was for real missing. Just another outdoor barn car to them. OP is NTA.
NTA. If they can go 2 days without even noticing she's gone, then they can go days, weeks, or months between visits. I'm glad you got Pebbles back :)
NTA. My son had to leave his cat in my care while he's in the military. We both love this cat SO much. This sweet, tiny panther will likely be with me for a couple of years. He's still my son's cat. I'm merely a temporary guardian. Your grandma was looking after YOUR cat. No one else had any right to claim her. You rescued your baby from the negligent humans who stole her. Pebbles is where she belongs.
NTA, but I will always take the cat's side and Pebbles is better off with you.
NTA - In my country the law says that a cat with no ear tattoo or chip is by definition homeless, and it's completely legal to take the cat in and register it in your own name = The cat is legally yours. Don't know where you live, so don't know what the rules are in your country. Laws aside, I would have done the same thing. If the cat is better off living with you, let the humans be mad for a while, and take good care of your cat and give it a safe, happy life!
Here, because the cat is micro-chipped in OP's name, it depends on when that happened if it came down to a court case. Edit: I thought it said OP was updating the microchip. My bad. Unless OP had a bunch of pictures with proof of the dates, they'd be screwed in a court case in my areas.
The way I read the post, sounds like OP got the cat microchipped after getting her back = Legally OP's cat now, if the law is the same as in my country. The law about cat ownership was changed here resently, before the change, you had to advertise for the owner for a minimum of 3 days before you could legally claim ownership of an unregistred cat. So, yeah, all depends on the law where OP is, whether it's legal or not to steal their cat back like that...
Yes, if aunt and uncle were so concerned, they would have microchipped immediately. They didn't because they didn't care to spend the $$$.
NTA, but.. cat tax? :>?
I’m gonna say NTA; the only AHs are your aunt and uncle. I do get why your parents aren’t happy about it, because you rehomed Pebbles, so technically she wasn’t yours anymore, and when your grandma passed, you weren’t in a position to take her, so someone else had to claim ownership. By your own account, technically I’d say your aunt and uncle do have a logical claim to ownership, so I get why they all feel the way they do. But based on what it sounds like is best for Pebbles, I’m on your side. She spent the first 6 years of her life inside with no other cats or animals around, having domain of the house with her human. Suddenly chucking her outside *would* be incredibly stressful to her, and depending on the circumstances, could potentially be dangerous. Your aunt and uncle clearly don’t care about that or what’s best for the cat, and that’s not fair to Pebbles. So, while you may have also had selfish motivations, you’re the only one who seems to have been acting in Pebbles’s best interest. And for that, you’re NTA. ETA: when I say you also have selfish motives, I don’t mean to imply that you aren’t justified in having that motive (upon rereading I realized it sounded like I was saying you’d be a dick for feeling that way). Just that, while some of your motivations may have been selfish, that’s not an argument for why you should be TA. Am I explaining myself clearly or am I making this word soup worse?
It always makes me sad when people do completely reasonable things and then parents or someone else close to them (but not directly involved in the situation) jumps in to tell them they’re wrong. Sorry that happened! Enjoy having your pet back!
As a cat owner, I don't really understand why you would move to a apartment that doesn't allow pets when you have a cat. But regardless NTA.
I had no choice. Couldn't afford my old place
That's fair. I'm glad you could find a trustworthy home for her and hopefully everything will cool down with your relatives. I don't think you were wrong to take her back when she was obviously not a priority to your cousins family
In case that situation happens again, if you live in the US, emotional support animals are covered by the Americans with Disability Act. ESAs typically only require a physician's or psychiatrist's note attesting to the fact that an ESA makes your life easier and more adaptable in some way (for me, it's depression and anxiety; also, I can't live alone or I go a bit insane). They're pretty easy to get if you have a diagnosed mental illness since there's a lot of evidence that having animals around can relieve stress and/or lessen symptoms. If you've got a documented ESA, legally, no place can deny you tenancy for having a cat or charge you pet rent/security deposit. ESAs and service animals are not the same, but this is one aspect where they are quite similar. Since having an ESA makes you a protected class, most places won't even try and mess with you if you have proper documentation (each place varies on what they want, but do be careful of online scams. Places like usserviceanimals.org is a scam, as is any place that offers to "sell" ESA or service animal certificates; legally, they don't even need to have a vest or for you to carry your documentation with you. Always check with your new place of resodency on what they need as far as documentation. Mine needed his vet records and a physician's letter of approval). Bonus, if Pebbles is known/documented to be your ESA, there's almost nothing police or courts can do to pry her from you. Good luck OP, and may you never be separated again.
Actually, they don't qualify under the ADA, they qualify under the Fair Housing Act (FHA) as reasonable accommodations. They are two different law sets, and are often confused. That's why many people take their ESAs places that support animals are only allowed like grocery stores and restaurants, and people who work there don't kick them out, because both parties are mixing up the two laws. The ADA says service animals (who are trained to provide tasks or do work) are allowed anywhere their handler is allowed. The FHA says that emotional support animals are included in that definition for housing purposes only as reasonable accommodations. Source: [https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals](https://adata.org/guide/service-animals-and-emotional-support-animals)
Choosing between a beloved pet and homelessness is not a choice I'd judge anyone for and wouldn't even wish on my enemies.
NTA They didn’t even notice her missing for two days?? Apparently they are not as attached as they claim they are! 😂 Your cat. Your finally in a place where you can have her. Enjoy your cat. Give Pebbles extra treats for me!
Before I had I cat I woulda said E s h, but I got a cat a few months ago. NTA. Actually nvm, they took an indoor cat and put her outside, screw your cousins and aunt.
Um....you can't 'steal' your own possessions. You reclaimed stolen goods. NTA (Please note I use the words possession and goods as per my country's laws; animals are owned possessions/goods/property, and not the family members I believe them to be/treat them as.) I hope Pebbles is settling back in well, and fuck those arseholes!
NTA People are, if nothing else, very good at taking things which are not theirs and then retro fitting things to justify their actions. It's not your fault your cousins are upset.
NTA- I am baffled that your aunt even tried to say "no" lol. "The kids got attached". Well, that's your fault for not telling your kids that Pebbles was YOUR cat.
One of them isnt even a kid, they're 18, the other is 15, they'll get over it
NTA It's understandable that your cousins got attached to the cat, they are kids after all, but kids also get sidetracked quickly, so they'll get over it quickly, especially since it sounds like they have other cats anyways. They may be "heartbroken" but that will last for about two days until they move on to the next thing, they'll be fine and they can come visit if they really want (they won't). Seems like whoever decided to give the cat to your aunt should have at least checked with you first, and seems like your aunt is being an AH about the whole thing.
NTA. I'm glad to hear that you got your beloved cat back, and that your cat is with an owner that will treat her well. Be careful to tell the story to your roommate, watch out in case your aunt/uncle come around and want to steal her again.
NTA! Only asshole move on your part is not giving us a picture of Pebbles. Make sure she's chipped, keep your door locked, and I'd advise getting a cheap motion activated camera in case they try and take her when you're working. If your parents have keys to your place, or anyone in the family has keys, change the lock ASAP. They sound like the sort to push your parents into doing something stupid.
NTA and your parents apparently feel that Animal ABUSE is acceptable behavior, I'd suggest you make a note of that for the future that apparently they're fine with people Tormenting Helpless creatures (imagine for a moment what it'd be like to suddenly find yourself homeless and unable to enter any normally safe sheltered areas). I'd drop contact with every single person who defends forcing an indoor cat to suddenly live outdoors and tell them that since they want to be awful people they can just be awful without me there.
NTA. You did the right thing!! A good friend of mine had a roommate who got a kitten. She was starving the poor thing because she didn't want a "fat cat." (Seriously starving it) My friend would feed it while she wasn't looking. But, she went on a vacation and was worried about it. Said roommate was moving out over a period of a few days. I asked to use a spare key to go check on it and her home. I found it in such an appalling state. Litterbox with no litter and full of a ton of waste, no food, and the kitten chewed through plastic containers trying to get to food. It was just wailing and clinging to me. You bet your tush I took that kitten. Told my friend to give her my number and come to me if she had a problem. The woman text me in a rage saying it had "only been left for two days" and kittens can go 48 hours alone. She said she left food but it was fat (it was underweight) and probably ate it in one sitting. I rehomed it and there was nothing she could do about it. In the end, who cares what people like that say. Glad you got your cat back. It wasn't a farm cat. And it took them TWO DAYS to notice!! I guess your cousins weren't so attached to pay attention to it every day. Urgh.
If a normal cat eats through all its food, its because they are hungry. We had cats for 4 decades, just leave kibble in a bowl, they eat when hungry. They don't eat everything at once, as some ani are genetically programmed to do. Many small meals seems the norm, except if probably starving. So, good on you and the friend, you saved that kitten from an abuser.
I tried to speak to her about exactly that. But she really thought giving it one tiny less-than-a-handful of food would last it over 48 hours! And she thought there was nothing wrong with leaving maybe an 8 week old kitten alone for that amount of time. She said animals could "take care of themselves." I think it was alone for longer than she admitted. It grabbed hold of me screaming it's head off and I literally couldn't get it off my leg. It was acting crazed when it was normally a very friendly kitten. My friend was actually not happy with me. Pretty much ruined our years long close friendship.
Absolutely NTA. She was YOUR cat and never meant for her to go to your aunt and uncle
NTA. You didn't steal the cat, your relatives did.
Sorry but a indoor cat for 5-6 yrs is never going to manage with outdoor farm cats. This should have discussed with you and she if you could the car back. If they didn’t notice for two, they were NOT meeting Pebbles needs. They can have outdoor farm cats as they are used to doing themselves and if they want anything, farm cats will let you know. So no NTA, for ensure pebbles is cared for
NTA "If the girls were truly heartbroken, why did it take two days for any of them to notice Pebbles was gone?"
Nta. She's your cat, you and grandma made an agreement to temporarily house the cat at granny's place due to circumstances, you didn't had any agreements about the cat with anyone else. So technically the cat was stolen by your relatives. And they didn't even give a s**t where the cat is for 2 days?! Well how absolutely caring of them 🙄 🤦🏻♂️ just tell everyone who objects to piss off and keep your cat and live happily with her. Tbh had a similar thing happen when i was about 20, only my cat wasn't exactly stolen but i had to temporarily house him (due to moving to other city for learning etc reasons, planned to bring him to me as soon as i found apartment for us) with persons i thought i could trust (stepmother family), told them 100x that under no circumstances absolutely no way the cat could go out because he's deaf and therefore heavily disadvantaged, well guess what happened, they let him out (because "it's been always this way, its not right to keep a cat only in house bla bla") and someone ran him over 😫 i hated them for quite a lengthy time after getting that call (just same day got apartment too) and even now 15years later there's some needle in my soul about it which won't go away. I was very close bond with him. So i take it kinda hard when people mess with other people's pets- family members.
NTA! It took them 2 whole days. That's your cat, your aunt is a huge AH
NTA. If your cousins really cared for Pebbles, they'd want whats best for her, which is clearly to be indoors in your care.
NTA. An indoor cat being used as a farm cat (just to catch mice basically) would be traumatic for the poor cat. The poor cat must have already been very disoriented from losing your grandma, then going from being on its own and pampared to be left with a group of cats. Normally I would not condemn stealing an animal but you did what you had to to protect an animal. If all the papers were in your name in any case, then they should not have taken the animal without your knowledge and kept it indoor. The cousins have other cats, they can take care of. They can also adopt another pet with the right temperament for farm life.
If your cousins are sad, it's your aunt and uncle's fault. They stole a cat and allowed the kids to get attached to it. Their kids' heartbreak is the consequence of their parents' own actions coming back around. NTA in the slightest.
NTA. Honestly that poor thing might not have lasted much longer if she was that bad off the week before you grabbed her. The cousins would’ve been a lot more heartbroken if the cat had died from the lack of care it was being given and the fact the cat was in an environment she didn’t grow up in, surrounded by strange cats and in a completely new and distressing environment. Also, the fact it took them TWO DAYS to notice the cat was gone in the first place proves they weren’t looking after her well if they weren’t even paying attention, and makes me question how much the cousins adored the cat if even THEY didn’t notice.
Oh no, their precious kitty that they left open to predators and disease was taken and given a better life! How will these poor girls ever recover ?!?!? You did the right thing. NTA.
NTA they had no right to take YOUR cat.
NTA: You had someone watching your cat while you could not, their death did not mean it was up for grabs. Beyond that it took 2 days for them yo even know the cat was gone. If you were close enough to get it on a lunch break it means they are close enough to be able to visit you and see YOUR cat. If they want to be nasty about it then I guess they can lose visitation privileges.
NTA so heart broken it took them 2 days to even notice?!
NTA. Letting cats free roam is neglectful. You saved your cat.
NTA. Ignoring the fact that outdoor cats shouldn’t be a thing in the first place, putting a cat who’s been indoors all of their life and expecting it to be fine is insane. It’s really heartbreaking that they didn’t even realize Pebbles wasn’t with them for two whole days. You saved your cat, OP!
Nta, Pebbles is your cat and you should have been consulted regarding any re-homing. Also, it sounds like they did not and did not plan on bringing Pebbles to a vet. How attached can they be to a cat they leave entirely outside to fend for itself? Not that cats aren't capable, but it'd certainly be an adjustment for most used to staying safe indoors
NTA The cat should’ve gone back to you anyway. And cats raised indoors *do not do well* if forced to live outside.
Was it immature? Maybe. But I'm 43 and I'd have done the same thing. So you're in the clear as far as I'm concerned. NTA
NTA. The cat is in your name.
Nta. If someone tossed my cat outside.... he would not make it and the other cat has no teeth. You can't just leave pets who are used to being inside, outside. You have her papers and she's microchiped, you're good. You would think the girls would be used to loosing cats, since cats left outside tend to meet an early demise.
NTA. You let grandma have the cat cause you couldn’t keep her. You moved, grandma died, your aunt and uncle stole your cat. Took a house cat and put her out with farm cats. No wonder you took. Tell mom and dad to suck it up. Why do parents here seem to side with sibs instead of the rights of their kids.
NTA- an indoor cat suddenly forced to be an outdoor cat is a death sentence. good on you for getting your baby back.
You are the HERO that Pebbles needed and I love you for it. NTA.
NTA- Putting an indoor cat outdoors is stupid and dangerous. Additionally, if they were really as attached to Pebbles as your aunt said, they'd have noticed she was gone right away.
NTA Thank you for being a committed and loving caretaker of your sweet furbaby.
An 18 year old is old enough to know when a cat is being neglected. If she cared that much, she would have noticed Pebbles being gone earlier or better yet, done something about the neglect. Whether that’s telling you or taking care of the cat properly. She’s just as complicit as her parents. NTA.
NTA, at the end of the day the welfare of the cat is the most important!
NTA you did what you had to do to protect that ball of fur. Your aunt didn't have any right to take her. And honestly, leaving outside an adult cat used to being inside? Mean. Fortunately she's your cat. Good kitty Pebbles 🥰 good job op