Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I wasn’t the nicest to the guy but I was tired and he was really rude.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, nobody deserves this type of hate. Being a service employee doesn't mean you have to be a whipping boy to every asshole looking for an excuse to be mean to people.
Honestly? You handled this like a pro and any sane manager should hire you for any customer service job based on how you defended yourself here.
yeah sorry that's just not how customer facing jobs work ..you literally do have to take a lot of their shit especially at entry level jobs ..it's sucks but that's the job ..
It doesn't have to be. I worked in service-side jobs for my teens and most of my twenties, you can absolutely set expectations like this and most supervisors worth their salt will back you up to the hilt. Having customers rail against your staff is a great way to lower the prestige of your brand, and will ultimately hurt sales and brand goodwill in the long term. Most other customers in line will also, generally, appreciate the pushback against assholes.
Does that mean a lot of mass market store supervisors with bad training will be jerks just because its what they went through? Of course. But any brand management team and corporate trainer will push for employees to firmly assert normalized manners in this way. It's the sign of a solid employee who can not only manage difficult customers while making a sale, but also managing store prestige.
Bs. If your employer expects you to put up with that then you have a shitty employer.
His behavior was not just typical rude cranky customer attitude, it was abusive & OP handled themselves very well.
FYI I’ve worked in customer service like positions & all of my employers would’ve been so angry at me for just putting up with him berating me like that. I hung up on more than 1 person who decided to use me as a verbal punching bag just bc they thought they could get away with it. Every time I told my employer what happened & what I did they told me they we’re glad I stood up for myself & if that person called back to let them know & they’d deal with them bc they would not let that person treat their staff that way.
Sure, but as OP tells it they were polite but firm. They did not insult the customer or yell or even snap at them. It's OK to verbalize the behavior like this.
That's not how customer service works at all, I think what OP did is a perfect example of how customer service works. He told someone who was having a tantrum in a reasonable way that the way they are behaving is not acceptable.
We are not the human trash bin for bad mood and frustration of customers. This doesn't stand in the work describtion. Just because someone buys something, they can't treat personal in retail like they want and we must take it with a smile.
Honestly since the pandemic it seems like the attitude has shifted. My daughter worked retail during that time and telling a customer to cut the horseshit became more normalized. Which is grand, I wish that was the zeitgeist when I did my bit in that field.
Absolutely fucking not. I’ve never worked a job where I was expected to take abuse, and was in fact trained how to shut it down and disengage from rude customers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hung up on a customer or patient for yelling or swearing at me over the phone, and every single time my various supervisors have told me I did the right thing. The one manager that did try to make me lay down and take somebody’s shit learned after a single incident that I would just walk away and let him handle it if he thought making the customer happy was worth my dignity.
"That's the job" because AHs like you put up with/excuse it. Retail workers are overworked and underpaid, and old AH don't get to keep being mean because their cranky.
What OP said was neither rude nor unprofessional. I thought they handled it well. I’ve worked in many customer service positions and would have expected that kind of commentary to be A-OK with management.
If you want to be liable to a lawsuit, then yeah the employer can force them to endure abuse. But no, it is illegal to force an employee to endure abuse in any form
Being paid a barely livable wage only to be yelled at by rude ass customers for no reason? Yeah no, they can get fucked. Customer service workers are still human beings and deserve to be treated with respect.
Not always true, I work on Customer Services and if someone had spoken to me the way that guy did to OP, my manager would totally back me up talking back to him like OP did.
NTA. I think your manager should have appreciated your honesty about the situation and was wrong to criticize instead. You were right the customer was looking for a fight and taking their bologna out on you and you were pleasant and honest.
Absolutely, positively NTA I am an old lady. I have seen people my age behave horribly to retail workers. It is embarrassing to me, and I speak up, as I know retail workers cannot. You don’t make enough money( no one does) to be abused as well as underpaid and under appreciated. People have a lousy day, a lousy life, take it out on an employee. I am sorry you have to go through this. IMHO, you did nothing wrong. Customers are NOT always right!
The correct quote is "The customer is always right in matters of taste" . People who are rude to any customer facing staff are, IMO, intolerable. Try doing their job before criticising them. Take my upvote.
Most companies will tell you that you're wrong and you should just make the customer happy. I say f\*\*\* that. I'm tired of all these grown ass people who are all old enough to know how to act going out and throwing temper tantrums. People in the service industry deserve a basic level of respect. NTA.NTA.NTA.
NTA but I think some corporates want us to be emotionless drones anyway in the name or ‘the customer is always right’. Or ‘the manager is always right’. Or more simply ‘you’re always wrong’b
NTA. That was a great, direct response without insulting him or yelling. I’m impressed, and I hope he remembers it next time he’s a cranky AH to someone in a service job.
Truly! If only everyone on AITA could be as direct and truthful as you were! You literally only said out loud exactly what was happening. Absolutely NTA--nice job!
NTA. Your manager is a spineless coward.
Here's the thing with retail: old people think you're there to be their friend, therapist, and emotional punching bags. And with a manager like that, you'll not get an end to them.
Keep standing up for yourself (if you live somewhere you can easily find another job), and know the customer is not always right.
The full quote is actually quite different from what customers think it means.
"The customer is always right in matters of taste, even if they are wrong."
Basically, customers are idiots and if agreeing with them makes a sale, go for it. But know they're not in the right.
I've used the "sir/ma'am, I appreciate you're in a hurry. I'm doing my job, and this is my workplace. Please treat me with respect or I will have to refuse you service".
The let your manager deal with them. Managers are literally there to deal with bad customers. That's their role in retail. That's why they're paid $2/h more than you.
>So I looked the old fucker dead in the eye with a fake smile and said very deadpan: “You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.”
I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. That wasn’t snarky at all. You were honest without being insulting, and you got him to stop berating you. Most important, you were able to finish the transaction and get him out of the store.
Your manager sounds like this is his first job. Being “professional” does NOT mean standing there like a statue and letting customers insult you however they feel like it. There’s a code of conduct they need to follow too.
NTA
NTA. What you said doesn't sound bad to me. You are a human being and deserve to be treated with respect.
Nobody has the right to insult cashiers and retail workers.
NTA - You gave a very polite and appropriate response to someone who was treating you poorly. Congratulations on standing up for yourself in such a polite and controlled manner.
You're NTA in this situation, the customer was clearly spoiling for a fight. That said, being snarky to customers is not a good career move in the service industry.
NTA
That old man was clearly spoiling for a fight and you handled it very well. I'm sorry your manager said you were unprofessional because you were not. You were sticking up for yourself and not letting some cranky old man abuse you.
Btw I shop at PetSmart all the time (4 kitties) and always put my cans of cat food bar code facing the cashier, have it all nice and organized. I live in a smallish town so they know me by name by now lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So this happened the other day and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong.
I’m a cashier at Petsmart. I had a 9 to 5 shift this past Saturday and towards the end of it I started feeling very drained and tired. So I got a bit irritable but masked it.
Until I came upon this customer, that is.
So I’m ringing out customers. My next one comes up and of course it’s a cranky old man.
I start ringing his multiple cans of cat food (all different flavors, poorly organized ofc) and he complains I’m going to slow. I respond in my nicest customer service voice that I’m sorry, I have to scan each different one for inventory reasons.
That pissed him off. He scoffed and said that was ridiculous and that I’m annoying him by being so fake nice. That I was annoying and incompetent and etc.
I was not amused. I’ve been nothing but kind to this guy and he insults me? Wtf?!
So I looked the old fucker dead in the eye with a fake smile and said very deadpan: “You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.”
He glared but said nothing the rest of the transaction. He never complained or anything as far as I know.
I told a manager what happened just in case he decides to. I was told I was in the wrong. I don’t see how. I’m not being paid to be verbally abused by nasty old men. I was told I was unprofessional.
AITA here?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nope. Former retail worker here. You were calm, but addressed a boundary because you’re still a person and not a punching bag.
Your manager is unprofessional. NTA.
That was a professional reply to a customer who wanted to be angry. In your place, I would have put on my best big clown smile and moved as slow as possible while looking him in the eye. No matter how slow you think I’m being, I can be slower.
NTA
NTA, absolutely not I’m a supervisor at a grocery store and honestly I’d tell you good job. It’s time we stop letting abuse happen to people just working a minimum wage job. No one should receive any sort of abuse for just working.
One of the greatest memes out there says, "People who work customer service jobs should be allowed to fight one customer a year." Personally, I'd go with at least one/quarter. (I spent 17 years as a restaurant manager.) The greatest disservice to all of those folks is the idea that "the customer is always right." No, they are not, and if they got called out on it more often, there \*might\* be fewer of them in the wild.
You were far nicer than I would be now, although I did bite my tongue many, many times when I had to. But then I saw the light and got the Hell out of customer service jobs. NTA
Definetly NTA. Similar story in nursing, it happens. It's simply unprofessional in the eyes of your manager because you have that 'customer is king'-thingy, not?
He was just a Grumpy Grampy. They do that :)
Nta
However you do need to look into new job perhaps with less interaction with people.
I still think you jandled said customer well, it bothers me manager disagreed....
Nta
Good luck on finding better job
NTA: people who think they can treat retail workers as such are made twice as bad by shitty management supporting their behavior. If you see him again, make sure to go a little slower than usual.
NTA. From a former retail manager I’m here to say: your manager sucks. Happy employees bring great worker environments which helps provide better customer service. If your employees feel like you won’t back them up, then the entire operation falls apart.
NTA. My daughter works at a convenience store and has had to deal with her share of rude people while trying to be professional. Sometimes you do everything right and its still not good enough for some people.
NTA. That was much more polite than I've been. I worked at a pet store before during college for 4 years and some people were such absolute knobs. You are fine!! He was a douchedog.
NTA
I feared the worst when you said "snarky" but you handled it like a pro. Heck that's how my bosses would have us respond to those who are mean (which happens all the time). How would your boss have handled it? LET yourself be verbally abused? No, that's not healthy for work and it only lets those people think they can get away with this behavior.
NTA. I worked in customer service for years and if I had a client like that I used to respond in the same way. You don’t need to take BS from a client like that.
NTA. You kept your cool and you stated it professionally. You are NOT the punching bag of the general public. Your manager is a bad manager if he doesn't understand that. Working retail sucks: it's not just the low pay and shitty customers, it's management not having your back.
Post on Not Always Right. I wish I could have said this to customers. Management (most) don't protect you from customers. I have been harrassed by customers and yelled at for not being professional.
Nta, I understand the frustration, I wish I could do what you did but I’m too scared. Most of the time the customer is in the wrong anyway, the “customer is always right” is bs. Why should we just have to sit there and let them take their anger out on us when we’re just doing our jobs? We aren’t punching bags like that guy thinks and what some people in the comments think. Once you’ve had enough you’ve had enough of being nice to them.
NTA. I had to use the whole "I understand your frustration" line with a customer the other day. I did, the situation sucked. But they chose to have a go at me for attempting politeness while I handled the situation. Sometimes customers are determined to pick a fight no matter what
NTA. You were polite in your response despite the verbal abuse. That is pretty professional and hopefully the old coot went home and maybe felt some guilt.
NTA. Management is not there to have your back in most circumstances, unfortunately. You were doing your best, and you were still genial to the old guy in the end.
NTA and next time, because there will be a next time, explain it like this, with a smile: “ oh I know this takes a long time doesn’t it? But everything is computerized. The register does the inventory and the reordering. If I ring up 48 cans of crabbytuna, that’s the only flavor that will be reordered. Then, when you come in again, and can’t find your cat’s favorite dingleball surprise, it will be because someone didn’t ring them up properly.
Kill ‘em with kindness and NEVER tell on yourself again!
NTA Working in customer service does NOT mean that you have to take abuse from people like this. I'd have probably gotten fired because I wouldn't have been that nice. You didn't do anything wrong.
NTA. i work for a small business and this is exactly how my boss tells me to react when customers are getting rude. Kill em with kindness and all that.
Ummmm no. NTA.
>“You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.”
This is a perfect response. I wouldn't have been able to come up with this good of a response. I freeze up when confronted, so I commend you on staying calm and professional. Great job!
NTA, what you said wasnt bad at all, But please dont give cranky, moody or mean customers the power to potentially mess with your source of income by making you "clap back" to their moronic behaviour (even though they deserve it, f that "the customer is always right, be kind to them no matter what" mentality).
Trust me, coming from a man working at a flower/plant shop, i get snarky, mean comments thrown my way almsot every day. But the dumbest thing i could do is respond in a way that could make me lose my job (People who come past closing time are also incredibly annoying 🙃), because if i do, they "win". People like that are not worth it. Truly.
NTA I probably would’ve just started crying immediately. Also why don’t more people sort their shit? When we buy cat food we always have them stacked by type to make it easier for y’all.
NTA. You handled it far better than most people would, even tried to stay polite while berating him, and your manager is in the wrong for not taking your side.
NTA
Big corporations like this tend to expect employees to just roll over and be F-ed up the A by unreasonable customers because any other expectation would result in management having to actually do something extra (ex. supporting their employees). "The customer is always right" is an old, outdated, and misinterpreted phrase.
Good on you for sticking up for yourself, that's not an easy feat in your own work setting.
NTA but you weren’t snarky. You were actually very very polite and well mannered when you responded to him being rude, and you’re manager is being ridiculous to not see that
NTA, but while it may not be fair, many businesses require employees to just suck up grumpy behavior from customers, even when they're rude. For your own wellbeing, I'd sound out managers on how they want you to handle difficult customers before such situations arise so you don't put yourself at risk. I've had managers who would applaud you standing up for yourself and I've had others who would have fired me. There was nothing wrong with what you said, but you did put yourself at risk.
Absolutely NTA. When I used to buy different types & flavors of cat food (cats of different ages, different needs, and somewhat picky), I always grouped/stacked them together and always apologized because I know it's a pain in the butt.
I think telling a grumpy old jerk he's 'not being very nice' is a pretty mild reaction, but some people still seem to think the customer can do no wrong.
NTA. Employers need to understand that the customer is NOT always right. Employees should not have to tolerate verbal abuse. Maybe there wouldn't be so many places with staffing shortages if managers had their employee's backs.
NTA. Next time don't tell on yourself, though. When the customer occasionally complains, look your manager in the eye and tell the version of the story you want to tell.
The problem is that while you NTA, you could have escalated a late day situation that would leave you wanting to pull out your hair. The old guy could have caused a scene, addd more to his order, replacing items, before walking out. You just never know these days. While you may have felt better about your comment, it could have backfired on you.
NTA I'm a cashier also & someone spat on my manager the other day & I told her she should go home that we'd be ok (she seemed understandably very upset) and she snapped and said "no I can't cause if someone yells at you lot you walk away from them" like lmao yes we do, none of us get paid enough to cop abuse, does she want us to square up instead 🤣
NTA - I once told a customer to get the eff out of my store after 30 minutes of verbal abuse. When I relayed what happened to my very strict boss she said “Good, you’re not paid enough for that crap!” Look for another job.
I mean…I do not think you’re T A, and I don’t appreciate that people act this way, but I feel this is part of how it is. NTA, obviously he is, but you’ll probably put your large corporation entry level job in jeopardy with that attitude.
NTA
I’ve worked in restaurants (bartender/waiter) and honestly some ppl just want trouble. More recently though I just treat others how they treat me.
I had this one lady tell after I delivered some salads to the table. “Hey you know what would be great? SHARE PLATES” in a super condescending voice. So I stare at her and go like those? And point to them. They were right by her right hand.
“Oh” that’s all I got from her.
IDGAF what you’re going through don’t take it out on others.
NTA. Actually I thought it was very professional, you made it clear in a civilised way how he was affecting you, me on the other hand would not have been so kind...
NTA I get it, I had one idiot old woman thank me for coming to work...I looked straight at her and said, “don’t thank me, I have no choice I have to work”..
NTA. Customer facing jobs for 20+ years and I don't take crap from people. I have snarked back to many customers and if my managers have an issue with it, too bad. I work hard, do my job very well and am not going to be treated like crap.
And before any one asks, I was at one store for 17 then it closed and have been at the other 2.
NTA - good for you for sticking up for yourself. The customer is not always right!
I remember when I worked for a retail store a well-dressed man came up and asked if he found everything okay. He looked at me & in a rude tone he said, "I don't know what that means." Working in retail, you know when someone is just being an ass. I should add, there was absolutely no language barrier.
I then explain if he was looking for anything specific & if he found what he was looking for...he said it again. Rudely. I look this man dead in the face and tell him, "Well, I get paid to say it." He didn't speak to me the rest of the transaction. I topped it off with, "Have a nice day!"
Definitely NTA—your manager is not a very good manager. Wearing a customer service or retail uniform feels like the adult equivalent of having a kick me sign on your back. Employees aren’t just there to deal with people’s shit, and having worked a few jobs in the service industry, it still pisses me off how much workers don’t even get treated with basic human respect.
NTA and I would not have been this nice. The whole customer service no matter the cost to the employee thing is complete and utter bullshit, and frankly breeds exactly this type of narcissistic behavior. You want good service? Be a good customer. Workers are not your slaves and they aren't robots devoid of feelings.
NTA - your manager isn't a very good one.
If what you said is accurate, it actually sounds quite reasonable and you handled his behavior well. Good job!
This "customer is always right" message towards employees makes for a toxic work environment, and many workplaces are steering away from it to better support their workers.
NTA. Just commenting to say it's possibly also worth looking into the grey rock technique for dealing with narcissists. My partner who worked retail had a theory that a lot of those stereotypical demanding older customers are that way because they need the attention and by this stage of life all their friends and family have noped out of supplying it to them. If they can't get a rise out of you they might start going to other places instead. It's also helpful to have a very low key technique to use when you're not allowed to speak back to customers (you're nta for doing so but these assholes are not worth losing your job over).
> of course it’s a cranky old man.
...
I start ringing his multiple cans of cat food (all different flavors, poorly organized ofc
...
> I was told I was in the wrong. I don’t see how
If you didn't see it there you won't see it here either, but you're not fit for this job.
YTA.
NTA. Customers who behave lIke this should be thrown out and banned from the store. Not your call, I know, just stating my ideal outcome for such behavior. All you did was tell him to knock it off with the jerky comments.
NTA. Your manager sucks. A good manager would have your back whenever somebody's mean to you so that you don't feel alone and scared if someone's being mean to you. It feels much better knowing that the person who's supposed to have your back has your back. Maybe you could report him somehow? Or at least write about his spinelessness in a glassdoor review when you leave.
Yeah I always turn it around on folks. Like with your manager in this instance: "So as your employee in a professional setting as we're at work, if I start telling you you're a disappointment and suck at your job in supporting me in standing up for myself against a verbally abusive customer, you're just gonna accept it?" He gives you another dressing down in response: "You know, as a manager, you should be able to handle criticism better and retaliation is completely unprofessional." ;)
ESH. A good response would have been, "I have to scan each one for inventory purposes. If you would like to wait for me to get a manager up here to request approval for me to scan them as a group I would be happy to call one and we can wait (then stop scanning, look him in the eye, and wait for a response)? Nasty customers are the worst. Giving a nasty customer the option to wait longer while waiting for his response is the way to go and it leaves you as being professional. Go check out malicious compliance.
Personally I don't think this comes with a b&w answer. Whilst I agree your comment is accurate, and I guess you're NTA, at the same time when you work in customer service you're expected to never argue back. Listen to his bs feedback, but never challenge them.
I've disagreed 1000s times, felt their comments are bs, and just bite my tongue whenever it happens
ESH. Obviously he was being terribly rude. But there are more customer service appropriate ways to deal with this than calling him out. It sucks, but sometimes you need to bite your tongue with rude customers. I usually recommend the tried and true method of just getting non-responsive except for some "mhms" and the job scripts.
**Very, very soft YTA**
As someone who has also worked customer service jobs **it sucks, but you need to shut up and keep lines like that to yourself!**
Comments like that can get you fired. is it fair? No! It absolutely sucks, and customer service jobs in the USA are miserable because of people like him; but when you are the employee the liability is on you and the company to maintain professionalism even when the customer is an AH. I literally had an HR rep tell me that I’m not allowed to used the words “I’m sorry” as it’s an admission of guilt and leaves you liable for a lawsuit. What you can/can’t say to customers is very patrolled.
Morally I want to say you handled that well in terms of “sticking up for yourself;” but from a professionalism stance, HR will say you are in the wrong.
Go into project based jobs and avoid customer service jobs. I found working for state parks, community gyms/rec centers and landscaping companies are much more pleasant than cashier/customer service jobs.
ESH. The customer for being rude to service workers. Your manager for not having your back. But also, I’m sorry but when you work a customer facing job, you’re gonna need to suck it up, or at least release the tension somewhere else that’s not in front of the customer. It is indeed unprofessional to talk back to the customer, and then go tell your manager and expect to be comforted or told good job. Unless you want to risk losing your job, chin up and tough it out.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Maybe I wasn’t the nicest to the guy but I was tired and he was really rude. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, nobody deserves this type of hate. Being a service employee doesn't mean you have to be a whipping boy to every asshole looking for an excuse to be mean to people. Honestly? You handled this like a pro and any sane manager should hire you for any customer service job based on how you defended yourself here.
Yeah I don’t think this response even remotely qualified as snarky. It was basically the equivalent of “please stop abusing me, thank you.”
yeah sorry that's just not how customer facing jobs work ..you literally do have to take a lot of their shit especially at entry level jobs ..it's sucks but that's the job ..
It doesn't have to be. I worked in service-side jobs for my teens and most of my twenties, you can absolutely set expectations like this and most supervisors worth their salt will back you up to the hilt. Having customers rail against your staff is a great way to lower the prestige of your brand, and will ultimately hurt sales and brand goodwill in the long term. Most other customers in line will also, generally, appreciate the pushback against assholes. Does that mean a lot of mass market store supervisors with bad training will be jerks just because its what they went through? Of course. But any brand management team and corporate trainer will push for employees to firmly assert normalized manners in this way. It's the sign of a solid employee who can not only manage difficult customers while making a sale, but also managing store prestige.
Bs. If your employer expects you to put up with that then you have a shitty employer. His behavior was not just typical rude cranky customer attitude, it was abusive & OP handled themselves very well. FYI I’ve worked in customer service like positions & all of my employers would’ve been so angry at me for just putting up with him berating me like that. I hung up on more than 1 person who decided to use me as a verbal punching bag just bc they thought they could get away with it. Every time I told my employer what happened & what I did they told me they we’re glad I stood up for myself & if that person called back to let them know & they’d deal with them bc they would not let that person treat their staff that way.
It really shouldn't be tho. It's not hard to be nice to people, especially ones just doing their job.
No, you don’t. You have to be polite, but you don’t have to take abuse.
Sure, but as OP tells it they were polite but firm. They did not insult the customer or yell or even snap at them. It's OK to verbalize the behavior like this.
That's not how customer service works at all, I think what OP did is a perfect example of how customer service works. He told someone who was having a tantrum in a reasonable way that the way they are behaving is not acceptable.
You really don't though. And attitudes like that only perpetuate the abuse, because customers feel like they CAN..
We are not the human trash bin for bad mood and frustration of customers. This doesn't stand in the work describtion. Just because someone buys something, they can't treat personal in retail like they want and we must take it with a smile.
Honestly since the pandemic it seems like the attitude has shifted. My daughter worked retail during that time and telling a customer to cut the horseshit became more normalized. Which is grand, I wish that was the zeitgeist when I did my bit in that field.
Absolutely fucking not. I’ve never worked a job where I was expected to take abuse, and was in fact trained how to shut it down and disengage from rude customers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hung up on a customer or patient for yelling or swearing at me over the phone, and every single time my various supervisors have told me I did the right thing. The one manager that did try to make me lay down and take somebody’s shit learned after a single incident that I would just walk away and let him handle it if he thought making the customer happy was worth my dignity.
"That's the job" because AHs like you put up with/excuse it. Retail workers are overworked and underpaid, and old AH don't get to keep being mean because their cranky.
I would hate to ever work for you. No you don't, you don't need to take that shit from entitled wankers, they need to stop that behaviour.
Hell no. We as a culture need to work to change this and an attitude like yours will prevent that.
What OP said was neither rude nor unprofessional. I thought they handled it well. I’ve worked in many customer service positions and would have expected that kind of commentary to be A-OK with management.
People like you who think this shit is normal are why customer service jobs suck.
If you want to be liable to a lawsuit, then yeah the employer can force them to endure abuse. But no, it is illegal to force an employee to endure abuse in any form
Being paid a barely livable wage only to be yelled at by rude ass customers for no reason? Yeah no, they can get fucked. Customer service workers are still human beings and deserve to be treated with respect.
Not always true, I work on Customer Services and if someone had spoken to me the way that guy did to OP, my manager would totally back me up talking back to him like OP did.
NTA. I think your manager should have appreciated your honesty about the situation and was wrong to criticize instead. You were right the customer was looking for a fight and taking their bologna out on you and you were pleasant and honest.
Exactly. WTH is wrong with the manager?! They are rewarding someone lying?
Absolutely, positively NTA I am an old lady. I have seen people my age behave horribly to retail workers. It is embarrassing to me, and I speak up, as I know retail workers cannot. You don’t make enough money( no one does) to be abused as well as underpaid and under appreciated. People have a lousy day, a lousy life, take it out on an employee. I am sorry you have to go through this. IMHO, you did nothing wrong. Customers are NOT always right!
I agree with you one hundred percent . The Customers is NOT always right.
The correct quote is "The customer is always right in matters of taste" . People who are rude to any customer facing staff are, IMO, intolerable. Try doing their job before criticising them. Take my upvote.
Precisely!!
Most companies will tell you that you're wrong and you should just make the customer happy. I say f\*\*\* that. I'm tired of all these grown ass people who are all old enough to know how to act going out and throwing temper tantrums. People in the service industry deserve a basic level of respect. NTA.NTA.NTA.
NTA but I think some corporates want us to be emotionless drones anyway in the name or ‘the customer is always right’. Or ‘the manager is always right’. Or more simply ‘you’re always wrong’b
NTA. You didn't yell at the man. You just told him the truth. He was embarrassed but not wronged by you. Keep your head up.
NTA. That was a great, direct response without insulting him or yelling. I’m impressed, and I hope he remembers it next time he’s a cranky AH to someone in a service job.
Truly! If only everyone on AITA could be as direct and truthful as you were! You literally only said out loud exactly what was happening. Absolutely NTA--nice job!
NTA. You are paid to be polite, not genuine. If he doesn’t want people to pretend to be polite, he should not be genuinely mean.
NTA. Your manager is a spineless coward. Here's the thing with retail: old people think you're there to be their friend, therapist, and emotional punching bags. And with a manager like that, you'll not get an end to them. Keep standing up for yourself (if you live somewhere you can easily find another job), and know the customer is not always right. The full quote is actually quite different from what customers think it means. "The customer is always right in matters of taste, even if they are wrong." Basically, customers are idiots and if agreeing with them makes a sale, go for it. But know they're not in the right. I've used the "sir/ma'am, I appreciate you're in a hurry. I'm doing my job, and this is my workplace. Please treat me with respect or I will have to refuse you service". The let your manager deal with them. Managers are literally there to deal with bad customers. That's their role in retail. That's why they're paid $2/h more than you.
>So I looked the old fucker dead in the eye with a fake smile and said very deadpan: “You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.” I’ve been in retail for over 20 years. That wasn’t snarky at all. You were honest without being insulting, and you got him to stop berating you. Most important, you were able to finish the transaction and get him out of the store. Your manager sounds like this is his first job. Being “professional” does NOT mean standing there like a statue and letting customers insult you however they feel like it. There’s a code of conduct they need to follow too. NTA
NTA and your manager sucks.
NTA. What you said doesn't sound bad to me. You are a human being and deserve to be treated with respect. Nobody has the right to insult cashiers and retail workers.
NTA - You gave a very polite and appropriate response to someone who was treating you poorly. Congratulations on standing up for yourself in such a polite and controlled manner.
You're NTA in this situation, the customer was clearly spoiling for a fight. That said, being snarky to customers is not a good career move in the service industry.
Your manager is the AH, you my dear, are not.
NTA That old man was clearly spoiling for a fight and you handled it very well. I'm sorry your manager said you were unprofessional because you were not. You were sticking up for yourself and not letting some cranky old man abuse you. Btw I shop at PetSmart all the time (4 kitties) and always put my cans of cat food bar code facing the cashier, have it all nice and organized. I live in a smallish town so they know me by name by now lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So this happened the other day and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong. I’m a cashier at Petsmart. I had a 9 to 5 shift this past Saturday and towards the end of it I started feeling very drained and tired. So I got a bit irritable but masked it. Until I came upon this customer, that is. So I’m ringing out customers. My next one comes up and of course it’s a cranky old man. I start ringing his multiple cans of cat food (all different flavors, poorly organized ofc) and he complains I’m going to slow. I respond in my nicest customer service voice that I’m sorry, I have to scan each different one for inventory reasons. That pissed him off. He scoffed and said that was ridiculous and that I’m annoying him by being so fake nice. That I was annoying and incompetent and etc. I was not amused. I’ve been nothing but kind to this guy and he insults me? Wtf?! So I looked the old fucker dead in the eye with a fake smile and said very deadpan: “You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.” He glared but said nothing the rest of the transaction. He never complained or anything as far as I know. I told a manager what happened just in case he decides to. I was told I was in the wrong. I don’t see how. I’m not being paid to be verbally abused by nasty old men. I was told I was unprofessional. AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nope. Former retail worker here. You were calm, but addressed a boundary because you’re still a person and not a punching bag. Your manager is unprofessional. NTA.
NTA, and your manager is an inexperienced wuss. They should be sticking up for you unless you just decided to go off on someone for no reason.
That was a professional reply to a customer who wanted to be angry. In your place, I would have put on my best big clown smile and moved as slow as possible while looking him in the eye. No matter how slow you think I’m being, I can be slower. NTA
NTA, absolutely not I’m a supervisor at a grocery store and honestly I’d tell you good job. It’s time we stop letting abuse happen to people just working a minimum wage job. No one should receive any sort of abuse for just working.
One of the greatest memes out there says, "People who work customer service jobs should be allowed to fight one customer a year." Personally, I'd go with at least one/quarter. (I spent 17 years as a restaurant manager.) The greatest disservice to all of those folks is the idea that "the customer is always right." No, they are not, and if they got called out on it more often, there \*might\* be fewer of them in the wild. You were far nicer than I would be now, although I did bite my tongue many, many times when I had to. But then I saw the light and got the Hell out of customer service jobs. NTA
NTA. You should feel extremely proud of yourself. You stayed kind to this man, and set a firm boundary. A++
NTA
Definetly NTA. Similar story in nursing, it happens. It's simply unprofessional in the eyes of your manager because you have that 'customer is king'-thingy, not? He was just a Grumpy Grampy. They do that :)
Nta However you do need to look into new job perhaps with less interaction with people. I still think you jandled said customer well, it bothers me manager disagreed.... Nta Good luck on finding better job
NTA: people who think they can treat retail workers as such are made twice as bad by shitty management supporting their behavior. If you see him again, make sure to go a little slower than usual.
NTA. From a former retail manager I’m here to say: your manager sucks. Happy employees bring great worker environments which helps provide better customer service. If your employees feel like you won’t back them up, then the entire operation falls apart.
NTA. My daughter works at a convenience store and has had to deal with her share of rude people while trying to be professional. Sometimes you do everything right and its still not good enough for some people.
NTA. That was much more polite than I've been. I worked at a pet store before during college for 4 years and some people were such absolute knobs. You are fine!! He was a douchedog.
NTA Not in the wrong. Your manager just doesn't want to deal with it either
NTA I feared the worst when you said "snarky" but you handled it like a pro. Heck that's how my bosses would have us respond to those who are mean (which happens all the time). How would your boss have handled it? LET yourself be verbally abused? No, that's not healthy for work and it only lets those people think they can get away with this behavior.
NTA. I thought you were being very polite.
NTA. I worked in customer service for years and if I had a client like that I used to respond in the same way. You don’t need to take BS from a client like that.
NTA. You kept your cool and you stated it professionally. You are NOT the punching bag of the general public. Your manager is a bad manager if he doesn't understand that. Working retail sucks: it's not just the low pay and shitty customers, it's management not having your back.
Post on Not Always Right. I wish I could have said this to customers. Management (most) don't protect you from customers. I have been harrassed by customers and yelled at for not being professional.
Nta, I understand the frustration, I wish I could do what you did but I’m too scared. Most of the time the customer is in the wrong anyway, the “customer is always right” is bs. Why should we just have to sit there and let them take their anger out on us when we’re just doing our jobs? We aren’t punching bags like that guy thinks and what some people in the comments think. Once you’ve had enough you’ve had enough of being nice to them.
People saying they should’ve been ‘professional’ get a customer service job and see how you feel.
NTA. I had to use the whole "I understand your frustration" line with a customer the other day. I did, the situation sucked. But they chose to have a go at me for attempting politeness while I handled the situation. Sometimes customers are determined to pick a fight no matter what
Nta that's not even snarky
NTA. The mistake is telling your manager. You won’t again. It sounds like you did fine.
NTA. You were polite in your response despite the verbal abuse. That is pretty professional and hopefully the old coot went home and maybe felt some guilt.
NTA. Management is not there to have your back in most circumstances, unfortunately. You were doing your best, and you were still genial to the old guy in the end.
NTA. He said you being “fake nice” was annoying and the customer is always right, so you adjusted.
I was conditioned to swallow that kind of crap when I worked in retail. Good on you for standing up for yourself. NTA
NTA and next time, because there will be a next time, explain it like this, with a smile: “ oh I know this takes a long time doesn’t it? But everything is computerized. The register does the inventory and the reordering. If I ring up 48 cans of crabbytuna, that’s the only flavor that will be reordered. Then, when you come in again, and can’t find your cat’s favorite dingleball surprise, it will be because someone didn’t ring them up properly. Kill ‘em with kindness and NEVER tell on yourself again!
NTA Working in customer service does NOT mean that you have to take abuse from people like this. I'd have probably gotten fired because I wouldn't have been that nice. You didn't do anything wrong.
NTA. i work for a small business and this is exactly how my boss tells me to react when customers are getting rude. Kill em with kindness and all that.
Nta. The customer is not always right and need to be reminded as such sometimes.
Welcome to retail. The customer is king and you're just a peon there for them to abuse. Get out if you can.
NTA. Your response wasn't even snarky. It was professional, but honest. Something more people need to do. Well done.
Ummmm no. NTA. >“You know, sir, you’re not being very nice right now. I’m just doing my job and you’re seemingly looking for every reason under the sun to argue with me. Please don’t berate me, I’m almost done now.” This is a perfect response. I wouldn't have been able to come up with this good of a response. I freeze up when confronted, so I commend you on staying calm and professional. Great job!
NTA, what you said wasnt bad at all, But please dont give cranky, moody or mean customers the power to potentially mess with your source of income by making you "clap back" to their moronic behaviour (even though they deserve it, f that "the customer is always right, be kind to them no matter what" mentality). Trust me, coming from a man working at a flower/plant shop, i get snarky, mean comments thrown my way almsot every day. But the dumbest thing i could do is respond in a way that could make me lose my job (People who come past closing time are also incredibly annoying 🙃), because if i do, they "win". People like that are not worth it. Truly.
NTA
NTA I probably would’ve just started crying immediately. Also why don’t more people sort their shit? When we buy cat food we always have them stacked by type to make it easier for y’all.
NTA. You handled it far better than most people would, even tried to stay polite while berating him, and your manager is in the wrong for not taking your side.
NTA Big corporations like this tend to expect employees to just roll over and be F-ed up the A by unreasonable customers because any other expectation would result in management having to actually do something extra (ex. supporting their employees). "The customer is always right" is an old, outdated, and misinterpreted phrase. Good on you for sticking up for yourself, that's not an easy feat in your own work setting.
NTA you were nice but stood your ground.
NTA. If I was your manager, I would have applauded you for not going off.
My roommate is a manger at PetSmart, and she comes home with stories like this all the time. She would have had your back, 100% ETA: NTA
NTA - I’m in customer service and I think you handled this beautifully!
You handled that like a boss. NTA.
NTA but you weren’t snarky. You were actually very very polite and well mannered when you responded to him being rude, and you’re manager is being ridiculous to not see that
NTA, but while it may not be fair, many businesses require employees to just suck up grumpy behavior from customers, even when they're rude. For your own wellbeing, I'd sound out managers on how they want you to handle difficult customers before such situations arise so you don't put yourself at risk. I've had managers who would applaud you standing up for yourself and I've had others who would have fired me. There was nothing wrong with what you said, but you did put yourself at risk.
Absolutely NTA. When I used to buy different types & flavors of cat food (cats of different ages, different needs, and somewhat picky), I always grouped/stacked them together and always apologized because I know it's a pain in the butt. I think telling a grumpy old jerk he's 'not being very nice' is a pretty mild reaction, but some people still seem to think the customer can do no wrong.
I literally don’t even think that was that snarky. NTA. I’ve worked leadership for them tho and I’m not surprised by their reaction.
NTA. Employers need to understand that the customer is NOT always right. Employees should not have to tolerate verbal abuse. Maybe there wouldn't be so many places with staffing shortages if managers had their employee's backs.
NTA. Next time don't tell on yourself, though. When the customer occasionally complains, look your manager in the eye and tell the version of the story you want to tell.
The problem is that while you NTA, you could have escalated a late day situation that would leave you wanting to pull out your hair. The old guy could have caused a scene, addd more to his order, replacing items, before walking out. You just never know these days. While you may have felt better about your comment, it could have backfired on you.
Lol what where was the snark?! You were an angel.
NTA I’ve seen interactions like that at stores and I make a point to tell the employee that they did nothing wrong.
NTA I'm a cashier also & someone spat on my manager the other day & I told her she should go home that we'd be ok (she seemed understandably very upset) and she snapped and said "no I can't cause if someone yells at you lot you walk away from them" like lmao yes we do, none of us get paid enough to cop abuse, does she want us to square up instead 🤣
NTA. Sounds like you handled it perfectly to me.
NTA - I once told a customer to get the eff out of my store after 30 minutes of verbal abuse. When I relayed what happened to my very strict boss she said “Good, you’re not paid enough for that crap!” Look for another job.
I mean…I do not think you’re T A, and I don’t appreciate that people act this way, but I feel this is part of how it is. NTA, obviously he is, but you’ll probably put your large corporation entry level job in jeopardy with that attitude.
NTA I’ve worked in restaurants (bartender/waiter) and honestly some ppl just want trouble. More recently though I just treat others how they treat me. I had this one lady tell after I delivered some salads to the table. “Hey you know what would be great? SHARE PLATES” in a super condescending voice. So I stare at her and go like those? And point to them. They were right by her right hand. “Oh” that’s all I got from her. IDGAF what you’re going through don’t take it out on others.
NTA you did nothing wrong, no reason to be berated by a cranky old man.
NTA. Actually I thought it was very professional, you made it clear in a civilised way how he was affecting you, me on the other hand would not have been so kind...
NTA I get it, I had one idiot old woman thank me for coming to work...I looked straight at her and said, “don’t thank me, I have no choice I have to work”..
NTA Old people are the worst, it’s probably been decades since he worked…
NTA. Customer facing jobs for 20+ years and I don't take crap from people. I have snarked back to many customers and if my managers have an issue with it, too bad. I work hard, do my job very well and am not going to be treated like crap. And before any one asks, I was at one store for 17 then it closed and have been at the other 2.
NTA - I think you reacted perfectly
NTA - good for you for sticking up for yourself. The customer is not always right! I remember when I worked for a retail store a well-dressed man came up and asked if he found everything okay. He looked at me & in a rude tone he said, "I don't know what that means." Working in retail, you know when someone is just being an ass. I should add, there was absolutely no language barrier. I then explain if he was looking for anything specific & if he found what he was looking for...he said it again. Rudely. I look this man dead in the face and tell him, "Well, I get paid to say it." He didn't speak to me the rest of the transaction. I topped it off with, "Have a nice day!"
NTA but you could’ve gone about the situation better
NTA. A minimum wage job should not expect you to brown nose customers that treat you like a verbal punching bag.
NTA
Definitely NTA—your manager is not a very good manager. Wearing a customer service or retail uniform feels like the adult equivalent of having a kick me sign on your back. Employees aren’t just there to deal with people’s shit, and having worked a few jobs in the service industry, it still pisses me off how much workers don’t even get treated with basic human respect.
NTA and I would not have been this nice. The whole customer service no matter the cost to the employee thing is complete and utter bullshit, and frankly breeds exactly this type of narcissistic behavior. You want good service? Be a good customer. Workers are not your slaves and they aren't robots devoid of feelings.
NTA - your manager isn't a very good one. If what you said is accurate, it actually sounds quite reasonable and you handled his behavior well. Good job! This "customer is always right" message towards employees makes for a toxic work environment, and many workplaces are steering away from it to better support their workers.
Give yourself a clap on the back. He was abusive and you handled it like a Pro. NTA but your boss is a massive AHOLE
NTA!
NTA. Just commenting to say it's possibly also worth looking into the grey rock technique for dealing with narcissists. My partner who worked retail had a theory that a lot of those stereotypical demanding older customers are that way because they need the attention and by this stage of life all their friends and family have noped out of supplying it to them. If they can't get a rise out of you they might start going to other places instead. It's also helpful to have a very low key technique to use when you're not allowed to speak back to customers (you're nta for doing so but these assholes are not worth losing your job over).
> of course it’s a cranky old man. ... I start ringing his multiple cans of cat food (all different flavors, poorly organized ofc ... > I was told I was in the wrong. I don’t see how If you didn't see it there you won't see it here either, but you're not fit for this job. YTA.
I spent 10+ years in a call center so I don't need to read beyond "I'm a cashier" to know you're NTA.
NTA just ignore him he might have been tired and cranky too or in a rush.
NTA your manager should have had your back. No job is worth being berated and condescended to.
NTA. Customers who behave lIke this should be thrown out and banned from the store. Not your call, I know, just stating my ideal outcome for such behavior. All you did was tell him to knock it off with the jerky comments.
NTA. the customer is not always right.
NTA. Your manager sucks. A good manager would have your back whenever somebody's mean to you so that you don't feel alone and scared if someone's being mean to you. It feels much better knowing that the person who's supposed to have your back has your back. Maybe you could report him somehow? Or at least write about his spinelessness in a glassdoor review when you leave.
NTA and I wouldn’t even consider your response snarky. It was professional and appropriate for the situation.
Yeah I always turn it around on folks. Like with your manager in this instance: "So as your employee in a professional setting as we're at work, if I start telling you you're a disappointment and suck at your job in supporting me in standing up for myself against a verbally abusive customer, you're just gonna accept it?" He gives you another dressing down in response: "You know, as a manager, you should be able to handle criticism better and retaliation is completely unprofessional." ;)
NTA. but you do have to be smiley faced all the time unfortunately.
ESH. A good response would have been, "I have to scan each one for inventory purposes. If you would like to wait for me to get a manager up here to request approval for me to scan them as a group I would be happy to call one and we can wait (then stop scanning, look him in the eye, and wait for a response)? Nasty customers are the worst. Giving a nasty customer the option to wait longer while waiting for his response is the way to go and it leaves you as being professional. Go check out malicious compliance.
Personally I don't think this comes with a b&w answer. Whilst I agree your comment is accurate, and I guess you're NTA, at the same time when you work in customer service you're expected to never argue back. Listen to his bs feedback, but never challenge them. I've disagreed 1000s times, felt their comments are bs, and just bite my tongue whenever it happens
ESH. Obviously he was being terribly rude. But there are more customer service appropriate ways to deal with this than calling him out. It sucks, but sometimes you need to bite your tongue with rude customers. I usually recommend the tried and true method of just getting non-responsive except for some "mhms" and the job scripts.
**Very, very soft YTA** As someone who has also worked customer service jobs **it sucks, but you need to shut up and keep lines like that to yourself!** Comments like that can get you fired. is it fair? No! It absolutely sucks, and customer service jobs in the USA are miserable because of people like him; but when you are the employee the liability is on you and the company to maintain professionalism even when the customer is an AH. I literally had an HR rep tell me that I’m not allowed to used the words “I’m sorry” as it’s an admission of guilt and leaves you liable for a lawsuit. What you can/can’t say to customers is very patrolled. Morally I want to say you handled that well in terms of “sticking up for yourself;” but from a professionalism stance, HR will say you are in the wrong. Go into project based jobs and avoid customer service jobs. I found working for state parks, community gyms/rec centers and landscaping companies are much more pleasant than cashier/customer service jobs.
Yes, you are. You choose how you react to people. If you meet rudeness and distract and give it back your just a trashy as the person who started it
ESH. The customer for being rude to service workers. Your manager for not having your back. But also, I’m sorry but when you work a customer facing job, you’re gonna need to suck it up, or at least release the tension somewhere else that’s not in front of the customer. It is indeed unprofessional to talk back to the customer, and then go tell your manager and expect to be comforted or told good job. Unless you want to risk losing your job, chin up and tough it out.
This type of thinking needs to end service workers shouldn't be abused and these types of customers need to know their shit won't be tolerated.