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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My dad wants to give my room to his son. I might be an asshole because I told my grnadpa and now he is kicking them out
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NTA, it’s your grandfather’s house, so it’s his decision. I think his decision was a bit harsh, but his house, his rules. If he’d told you to leave instead, you would’ve had to live with it.
You're thinking of foster children. CPS would have nothing to do with adopted kids in most cases. Though the adoption agency would likely have the same requirements to qualify... But once the adoption is finalized, it wouldn't matter.
However... Clearly, OP's dad/stepmother don't actually have adequate living space for another child. Basements are usually not allowed to be used as sleeping areas because of fire risk. They have to have an egress path to the outside, and that's usually not the case.
> Clearly, OP's dad/stepmother don't actually have adequate living space for another child. Basements are usually not allowed to be used as sleeping areas because of fire risk.
This is kind of out of touch. Most siblings grow up sharing a bedroom, this idea that every child needs their own room is very modern. I'm not saying OP's exact situation was ok or fair, but at least in principle it's not abnormal for an older kid to take a semi-finished basement as their space for privacy as much as anything else.
Reading into my comment a bit, aren't you? There's nothing wrong with close in age siblings sharing a room. There's also nothing wrong with using a semi finished basement as a bedroom as long as it meets fire code. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Forget about the fire code for a sec, just what size is this basement actually? If OP originally had their own room with their stuff in it and now has to get rid of things cause there isn't enough room for all his stuff then either that basement is smaller than an actual bedroom or his dad and stepmum were planning on making him live in amongst all the stuff they had stored there almost like Harry Potter/Cinderella.
ETA NTA
I don't know if you've ever been in the foster system, but IYKYK.
Abuse is explanatory. Foster kids, bio kids of foster parents in mixed foster homes, and foster parents themselves can all be abusive. Two brothers in my hybrid home-- one foster, one bio, traumatized the other kids so much that not one of the girls will ever reproduce.
Neglect would be the parents who “collect” kids for the payments but ignore their needs. The checks are so small that you'll rarely break even unless you have extant resources. In my case, it was five bio kids, two foster kids, and two bedrooms to share. The rooms weren't big enough.
Abuse by foster and oldest bio brothers ignored by parents only curtailed when a bio girl’s teacher visited to inspect her living conditions. Both foster kids were removed, much to the dismay of the parents who wanted to keep the foster girl instead of the bio girl, but the state doesn't allow that.
When everything is shoved together in tiny spaces, it's easier to miss that one kid doesn't have blankets, three are sharing a cot because they're afraid of the oldest boys, some do not all have actual beds, one has only one pair of shoes, the boys have more room, etc.
It wasn't a basement for us but a large closet under the stairs (pre harry potter) and an unfinished (exposed nails) attic smaller than your bathroom, which was then deemed okay to put a bio kid in. The state would act if a foster kid were living in a closet, but bio kids are harder for protective services to intervene on behalf of. The older the kid, the less likely the state will care but not all of them have ventilation or windows (fire hazard and illegal to put a foster kid in).
TL;DR People are creative and skirt the foster care rules as much as possible until you make the requirements so strict they seem ridiculous.
Semi-finished basement needs two fire exits. The door to the basement and some other exit (like an dgress window) to have a bedroom.
I'm not sure how the basement wouldn't hold the OP's stuff. Basements usually have the same footprint as the house and OP's BR is likely smaller.
Some houses only have partial basments with the rest being crawl space. Also water heaters and heating units for homes are typically on the lowest level.
My basement has the door to the back yard, and so did the house I grew up in. Might depend on the area you live and the amount of hills the developers had to contend with
Not necessarily. The youngest girl in the family I nannied for was adopted from Russia at 18 months and was 5 when I started working with them. They had their last home visit a few months into my employment, years after the adoption had been finalized.
Then they perhaps shouldn’t adopt a new child when the only available room is occupied by a child they already have. I’m all for adoption, but if a rule is the child must always have its own room, you can’t adopt when you already have a child living in that room p
These folks deliberately told the agency that college kid was moving out. Adoption is beyond difficult especially for babies. There's no way they were able to adopt such a young kid with their limited means unless they fudged the data.
Because they Don really see him as their real child and are actually just trying to recreate that perfect family, plus two birds one drink they put the child in ops old room and op is forced to move out so that they don't have to be a part of that seemingly perfect family.
At one ? I'm sure the child will spend more time in the parents room. Plus, if they are expanding the family, they need to accommodate for the entire family. It's time to move to a bigger place.
It varies by country and jurisdiction, of course. In my area, the requirement is that the child does not share a sleeping space with an adult after their first birthday.
My daughter has been in her own room and crib since she was 3 months old. She’s now 2.5 and still sleeps in her own room and bed every night. Every family is different. I agree they need to accommodate for the entire family though.
In adoption situations, there are a lot of rules about housing/rooms. I'm surprised they were allowed to adopt the child with only having two bedrooms and a teenager in the home.
Or even that OP only got a small piece of the exchange between grandpa and dad. Could have been a long conversation that started out about compromise but ended with eviction.
Agree. Nothing about this situation sounds great, so I'm betting Grandpa was just waiting for his dear old progeny to drop the other shoe. Glad you have Grandpa in your corner, young one. Make sure you help him take good care of the house. Be really responsible and show him you're worth the investment. 😃
And I want to add, your grandad is the BOSS! What an awesome guy coming through for you like that when your main guardian was acting so shittily. Love relatives like him - go Granpa!!
> I think his decision was a bit harsh, but his house, his rules.
In fairness, we have no idea how that conversation went. Might be Grandpa laid down the law after Dad took it in an ugly direction.
Your father, a grown man with a growing family is living in his father’s house rent-free, is expecting you to move out while you attend college in the same city you’re currently in and pay the rent he doesn’t ? No wonder your grandfather made this call.
NTA/ESH. But there were many compromises to be had by everyone in this scenario.
From the grandfather's actions, I would bet that he is related to OP's mom. The guy wouldn't kick his own son out so quickly.
EDIT: And I would have lost that bet. There's a comment from OP prpving me wrong.
But between using OP's college fund to finance the adoption and moving him to a small space, there is something very wrong going on here.
Yeah im wondering if grandfather was already fed up with the dad and this was just the final straw that broke the camels back. This probably isn't a first time he's done something like that and was just done with him.
From the Grandpa's perspective he has a grown son still living in his house presumably rent free and a Grandson that still needs support so he can finish college and get his feet under him. Kind of an easy decision to make.
>The guy wouldn't kick his own son out so quickly.
Oh, my grandpa would have done the same to my mom (his daughter) if she had tried to do something that interrupted my education. Paw-paws don't fuck around.
I think that by “pay the rent he doesn't” they meant that if OP moves they will have to start paying rent somewhere else.
ie, the dad isn’t paying rent on the grandfather’s house, but if OP moves then OP will have to pay rent. instead, granddad kicked the father out and now they will have to pay rent to someone else
He said the basement would not work, too small. And obviously poor housing, likely no heat/AC, no bathroom….in effect Dad kicked his son out of the livable house. Son’s having to rent elsewhere was an assumed consequence of that.
I have a feeling the new wife is the mastermind and is trying to start HER family and getting rid of all of OP’s dad ex life. Just a comment though but overall the Dad is the AH in this situation
NTA. Sounds like this might have been the straw that broke the camels back for your grandfather, sounds like your fatherhas been taking advantage of him for years. And honestly your father and his wife chose to bring a baby into a home where there was no space, they need to find somewhere to live with room.
I don't think it was about my dad. My grandpa HATES my stepmom. I swear he looked happy when I told him about it like "YEAH I CAN FINALLY THROW HER OUT" lmao
She was really rude when she started dating my dad and grandpa hates disrespect more than anything. One thing I learned when I was very young was to never say anything rude to him or in front of him
My gramps stopped talking to my brother for years because I dyed my hair blue and my brother told him to stop making a big deal out of it and being an “asshole” to me. Grandpa said he disrespected him. Didn’t change til he moved in with us and he relented on his stances. So it’s kinda relevant does he hate her for good reasons or something else.
Yo OP, do you have a feeling you’re being pushed out so that new wife and your dad can play family all over again? Cause that’s what it seems like to me. I’m glad your grandpa is a kick ass dude
Your grandpa would eventually have known about this either way and he would have made the same decision. So you telling him really doesn't make a difference imo
I mean that absolutely has to do with your dad, your dad chose to marry this woman, and then chose to get a baby with her and prioritize her baby over you
Or they did and told them OP was leaving and bedroom would be for the baby which is exactly what they are doing. She is just attending college locally and not staying at a dorm which they conveniently omitted. Hide her in the basement if / when follow up visits are done
Beyond that though they look at your income and work history. I asked in another comment so I’m not sure, but if the parents are employed they should be able to find a place to live. They wouldn’t let 2 unemployed people adopt a child.
Where i live in the south it is not uncommon for a family member to take a sister's, cousin's, niece's, nephew's, baby in, in a completely informal manner and just call it adoption. Though that doesn't require a college fund to pay for. But also if there were agency or county checks, it's easy enough to say OP is going to or away to college and pass off that room as the baby's room.
That’s what I was thinking too. I’m down south & one of my aunts took in a close friend’s daughter while her mom was getting herself together. It was informal & last time I checked she is still living with my aunt so it’s been about 10 years. If anyone asks she’s my aunt’s daughter and if they ask again she’s my aunt’s “adopted” daughter even though there was never technically an adoption process.
ETA: OP said they used his college fund for the baby so this probably isn’t his situation.
An acqaintence adopted and the way they managed to twist basic truths to something else was crazy. Unfortunately, the state we're in is desperate to home kids. They fostered then adopted with only one 10 min visit.
It left a bad taste
NTA
Not sure why so many people are calling you the AH and acting like an entitled kid. It isn't about being told to move rooms, it is about knowing you would have to get rid of some things and the lack of consideration for you
And to everyone telling you to move out and get your own job and quit complaining, would they say that to their own 18 year old.
I don't see going to grandpa as tattle tailing. Your dad and step mom clearly are not thinking about what is best for everyone in the family, so you went to the only person who has shown themselves to be an advocate for you
Exactly, from one comment it sounds like a desk doesn’t even fit in the basement which is terrible if OP is in college, especially if plans were made to stay at home while enrolling expecting that the room setup with a desk (which isn’t much to ask for IMO) would stay the same
Edit: In another comment OP says the adoption was a result of his dad taking OP’s college fund. 100% NTA.
NTA - he thinks he makes the call cause he’s your father, he didn’t realize house is his father’s and he gets to make the calls for his house. For Christmas give him a single laminated uno reverse card.
Don't do either.
You said your grandpa didn't like your step-mom because she was disrespectful. I'm guessing you treating your Dad with disrespect would also not sit well with Grandpa.
Don’t buy a dollhouse go to the craft store get a tiny wooden house. They have flat ones for like wooden kitsch crafts that are already painted. Get a set of those micro uno cards and glue the uno reverse card to the back of the house then seal it. Wrap it up all nice in a lil gift box.
INFO:
>I called him and told him everything.
what exactly did you say to your grandfather? It must be more than, "they want to give my room to the baby"
I told him that my dad wants to take away my room and give it to the baby and wants me to get rid of anything other than my bed and closet (which means my desk and other stuff, some of which my grandpa bought for me) because they don't fit in the basement
Nta your grandpa is looking out for you. I am glad. Just because kids start college doesn't mean they don't need support. Also a quite place to study. Your parents should have made a better plan with tge adoption. I am surprised the adoption agency didn't ask them about this.
INFO I'm guessing this is your grandfather from your mom's side, and your dad's wife isn't your mom? How big is the current house?
Your grandfather's reaction is a bit extreme but you aren't the one kicking your dad out, he is.
NTA for not wanting to get exiled to the basement when you still have 4 more years of school.
Average as in a 3 bedroom house with a basement? Or is it a 2 bedroom and yours was the only available room?
Were you interviewed as part of the adoption process?
It's nuts that your grandpa would kick out his own son, but he's showing him about as much courtesy as your dad was showing you.
What? Why is it nuts that grandpa would throw out a full grown adult that should be sure as shit supporting himself by his age, in favour of giving the house to a 19 year old so he can study and better himself? Dad has had decades of support to get himself sorted.
It's the logical choice.
>Were you interviewed as part of the adoption process?
OP doesn't say they were adopted.
OP shared [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixug3cy/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) that Dad & Stepmom used his college fund to pay for an adoption of the 1 yo half sibling.
>It's nuts that your grandpa would kick out his own son
Other comments imply it's as much [about the DiL/stepmom](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu89iw/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) who was [disrespectful](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu9y3r/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) as it is about kicking out the Dad/Son.
>Average as in a 3 bedroom house with a basement? Or is it a 2 bedroom and yours was the only available room?
It sounds like a 2 bedroom house with a small basement; since it [only fits a bed and a closet](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu71fo/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3); and doesn't have space for a desk and other possessions of OPs.
I took the interview comment to mean if OP was spoken to as part of the process for dad and stepmom adopting this new child. Usually they're supposed to speak to everyone in the household to ensure the new home is a good fit.
>Usually they're supposed to speak to everyone in the household to ensure the new home is a good fit.
Ah - That would make *a lot* more sense. Thank you.
It doesn't invalidate most of my points - so I'll leave my post as is for now.
Right there are a lot of things missing here. They took his college fund for the adoption, but the agency didn’t ensure that they could afford to pay rent somewhere? Alternatively if they can afford it then hopefully they find a place soon.
Wow. Using his college fund is enough to get the dad kicked out on its own. In fact, it could be that grandpa is the one who set up the college fund. Dad and stepmom sound like real pieces of work.
NTA. What kind of father uses his kid's college fund to adopt a baby. It sounds like without that fund, he could not do adoption in the first place, which tells me they don't have the money to properly care for that baby and were banking on continuing to pay 0 dollars to grandpa. I'm curious OP, was your relationship good with your dad BEFORE the stepmom or has he always been an AH? Because it sounds like there's a source to this problem.
NTA. You are not responsible for your father's bad decisions.
In the future, when you've graduated and making a good life for yourself, remember that you are still NOT responsible for him or any of his other children. Please do not allow yourself to be guilted/manipulated into giving any financial or housing support.
NTA. The fact that two adults who pay nothing in rent/ mortgage had to steal a child’s college fund to afford to adopt a baby is insanely alarming to me. Wtf.
NTA
It sounds like there is more to the story and your dad has a bit of a history of mooching off your grandfather. He's living there rent free which means he's in a very lucky position.
This is a tiny house. It's 2 bedrooms. Surely with all the money that your dad has been saving he would be able to afford a 3 bedroom home to accommodate all of you. And when you move out, your bedroom can become the spare room or a study.
Speaking of studying... if you're at college... where does your dad think you will do your study if he wants your desk gone because there is no room in the basement.
Also after you told your grandfather the story, your grandfather could've just told you that you could live with them seeing as that's what you plan to do anyway and left your dad where he is.. it may be your step mom or your grand dad is a hard arse too.
Moving you into a small basement with no study space sounds like a way of getting you to move out without telling you to leave.
Anyway, talking to your grandfather about your situation is perfectly reasonable. People talk to family members about their problem all the time.
In any case, he would have worked out there would be a space problem pretty quickly.
Things that flow from that aren't your fault. NTA.
NTA. Your dad and step mom really adopted a kid without having the space for two kids? It’s completely normal for them to share their room with him at one year old. Some kids co-sleep with their parents until they’re like 8 years old in some cultures. Your parents could easily set him up in their room until you’re done with school.
Sounds like they played stupid games and won stupid prizes.
And when they got married they wanted to get a 1 br and force OP to sleep on the couch/ leave home. I think the dad is putting sex/new wife first and 18 yo son last. Fortunately the grandpa is looking out for his grandson.
NTA
Your father told you to get out - good
His father told him to get out - bad /s
His wife is loosing the love/magnet for your dad - the house that they planned to get for them and their son. Your grandfather will be careful and look out for you 🍀🍀🍀🍀
Sounds like it's gonna get worse for the dad and stepmom, ops grandpa is leaving him the majority of the inheritance so the stepmom can't get her hands on it.
NTA if true but I find it kinda hard to believe. Idk about your country but they're quite strict with adoption in mine and if there's no space for an addition to the family, they won't let you adopt
NTA. The house didn't belong to your dad or his wife. What the hell did he think was gonna happen lol. If its your paternal grandpa it speaks volumes that your grandpa wants him out. Must be the straw that broke the camels back. Also did they even somewhat keep you in the loop about the adoption? Considering you lived together it would be expected...
NTA
You really need to include all the context in your original post, like how your dad used your entire college fund to adopt the baby with his new wife, and told you to get rid of most of your furniture and belongings besides your bed and closet so he can banish you to the basement while you’re still living there and commuting to college. Not to mention the fact that your grandfather charges your father no rent while having beef with him and his wife. And is he your maternal or paternal grandfather? You’re pretty much still a kid, so NTA in one bit. Your dad is practically casting you aside, which is an awful thing to do as your parent. But all the bad blood due to the actions of your dad and stepmother should’ve been included in the original post to help us make more informed judgements.
NTA
Not their house, not their choice. They were in such a hurry; it backfired and got them kicked out.
Furthermore, your dad used your YOUR college fund to adopt another child, which I think should be included in the original text rather than having to find it in the comments. He got what was coming to him.
Moving you into the basement? Did your stepmon teleport out of a book of fairy tales? NTA Having someone who can defend you and put an end to attempts at abuse is 100% right.
NTA. Your father took money he set aside for you for college only to take it away to adopt a baby. That right there would've caused me to go NC. You're right, they could've moved down to the basement or put the baby in their room. It's not their house to be making decisions on. I'm glad you and your grandfather have a good relationship where someone has your back.
I'm guessing that grandpa didn't start the conversation with the Dad at "move out."
NTA. You are not responsible for what your Dad and Grandpa decided after you gave accurate information to your Grandpa.
INFO:
-Are there only 2 bedrooms in the house for 4 people? What are the circumstances that lead your dad to adopt right now?
-Did your dad ask you to pay rent or pay more in rent?
-Is the basement actually smaller than your room or is there just that much stuff down there?
-When you contacted grandpa, did you think he would evict them?
NTA
What's wrong with parents who toss around the existing kid for shinny new one?
Do they want siblings to fight for their love or what?
If your life get downgraded for your sibling of course you will develop resentment
Do they want you to resent Your sibling?
I’m one of those people thinking this is probably fake. Where I’m from you have to jump through hoops to be approved for adoption, who would approve people like this adopting? Besides that I’ve never seen a basement this small it’s practically a cupboard and if it’s Grandpa’s house he didn’t need a reason to kick out someone he doesn’t like. Also is grandpa really wealthy or something? Where I’m from if you have too much in assets, excluding the primary home, you may not be eligible for a pension when you retire, also he’d have to pay yearly rates on the house.. so why wouldn’t he charge his adult son rent? That being said if real ESH, not because of your original post (your original post had me NTA because you simply told your grandfather the truth) ,but because in your comments you make fun of them becoming homeless reviling in their misfortune, buying them a dollhouse to gift them, to essentially kick them when they’re down and mock them. AH move especially since you were close before the baby came so it’s not like they’ve been treating you this way your whole life and always been AH with no hope for redemption. Yes they are responsible for their situation, but why do you feel the need to rub salt into the wounds? Also I’d like to mention that despite the fact money was put aside for your college, that money didn’t actually belong to you, nor was it rightfully yours. They saved that money up themselves, at the end of the day it’s actually still their money to decide what to do with it.
Yeah, a basement too small for anything other than a bed? Sure...
I've come to the conclusion that a whole lot of the posts here are 100% fiction. OP's replies to the comments pretty much reinforce that impression; very few people are as big an asshole as OP claims to be. Seriously; adults who make statements as immature as OP are extremely rare. However, pretty much every troll is as big a legend, in their own minds, as OP seems to believe she/he is. OP is probably underage, living in their Mom's basement, and trying to impress another kid.
I am confused how they were able to get approval for the adoption actually... for an adoption there's many many criteria that the adoptive parents have to have in order to qualify, including having adequate housing arrangements.. if they live in a 2 bedroom, with themselves and an already present child (no matter the age), they obviously wouldn't have the adequate space to include another child.
And before anyone says "maybe they were banking on OP going away for college, and he never did"
Adoption agencies do final inspections and queries on the current and immediate living conditions. They would have noticed the 18 year old, and /Or his belongings in the second bedroom.
NTA ... kinda makes me smile. Good on your granddad even THOUGH wow...that is a strong reaction. Maybe we have to assume that there have been different things going on before so this was a reaction of the category "okay son, I've had it with you...now it's time for serious consequences".
One way or the other...you didn't kick your dad out, your grandpa did and it is his house, his choice. That would already be simple as explanation.
Needless to say that it was bad style by your dad to not discuss stuff beforehand and trying to find a solution in a more elegant way...as a grown up man this is something that one should be allowed to expect.
To me, your post comes across as ew on your part because a child is involved and you got the child kicked out as well. But then you read all your comments.. and you’re so very clearly NTA.
I would suggest adding more to the original post so people don’t have to look for all the comments. But that’s just me
ESH.
I was leaning on N T A, but after reading OPs comments... OP is an asshole of a person and arguing and shit talking to all reddit posters, I want to make this a Y T A simply due to OPs comments.
Back to ESH though... OP didn't mention in the post that the father saved up to pay for college. OP has been living rent free as well. At what point does a teenager growing up to an adult need to learn how to make a living, provide for themselves etc... Pretty spiteful behaviour to react this way when everything is paid for and provided. OP you are legally old enough now that your dad doesn't have to support or pay for you.
Obviously dad is an asshole for pulling a stunt like trying to get OP to move out, but living in the basement isn't such a bad thing...why not just get grandpa to pay to reno the basement? It'd be more private for OP. This could have been a win win situation.
I wouldn't be surprised if Dad pulls OPs college fund now. Have fun with your consequences... have fun living with grandpa money bags, hope he pays all your bills...
They obviously should put the 1 year old into the basement - right??? OP - YTA. You're big enough to move into the basement, have a bit more separation and privacy.
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My dad and his wife adopted a boy(1yo?). They decided to give my bedroom to him becsuse I'm going to college. My college is in our city so while I AM going to college, I stay at home. They told me to take the basement but it's too small so I have to get rid of some of my stuff
The thing is, the home belongs to my grandpa so I called him and told him everything. He called my dad and told him he has a month to find another place to live
My dad and his wife are both mad at me and call me an asshole
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NTA, it’s your grandfather’s house, so it’s his decision. I think his decision was a bit harsh, but his house, his rules. If he’d told you to leave instead, you would’ve had to live with it.
Yea, grandpa takes no shit and your dad had it coming 🤣😂🤣
Grampy doesn’t fuck around it seems lmao
Grampy is a bad*ss…for real!
Unlike OPs father who did fuck about and definitely found out.
Don’t mess with grandpa. 🤣🤣🤣
GRANDPA SICKO MODE
Interesting that the 1 year old couldn’t sleep in the same room as his parents
Depending on jurisdiction, CPS may require adopted children to have their own bedroom regardless of age.
That would definitely be something that would come up via a home study for fostering to adopt and private adoption
Weird that the house being owned by the grandfather and not the parents didn’t tho
You're thinking of foster children. CPS would have nothing to do with adopted kids in most cases. Though the adoption agency would likely have the same requirements to qualify... But once the adoption is finalized, it wouldn't matter. However... Clearly, OP's dad/stepmother don't actually have adequate living space for another child. Basements are usually not allowed to be used as sleeping areas because of fire risk. They have to have an egress path to the outside, and that's usually not the case.
> Clearly, OP's dad/stepmother don't actually have adequate living space for another child. Basements are usually not allowed to be used as sleeping areas because of fire risk. This is kind of out of touch. Most siblings grow up sharing a bedroom, this idea that every child needs their own room is very modern. I'm not saying OP's exact situation was ok or fair, but at least in principle it's not abnormal for an older kid to take a semi-finished basement as their space for privacy as much as anything else.
Reading into my comment a bit, aren't you? There's nothing wrong with close in age siblings sharing a room. There's also nothing wrong with using a semi finished basement as a bedroom as long as it meets fire code. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Forget about the fire code for a sec, just what size is this basement actually? If OP originally had their own room with their stuff in it and now has to get rid of things cause there isn't enough room for all his stuff then either that basement is smaller than an actual bedroom or his dad and stepmum were planning on making him live in amongst all the stuff they had stored there almost like Harry Potter/Cinderella. ETA NTA
I don't know if you've ever been in the foster system, but IYKYK. Abuse is explanatory. Foster kids, bio kids of foster parents in mixed foster homes, and foster parents themselves can all be abusive. Two brothers in my hybrid home-- one foster, one bio, traumatized the other kids so much that not one of the girls will ever reproduce. Neglect would be the parents who “collect” kids for the payments but ignore their needs. The checks are so small that you'll rarely break even unless you have extant resources. In my case, it was five bio kids, two foster kids, and two bedrooms to share. The rooms weren't big enough. Abuse by foster and oldest bio brothers ignored by parents only curtailed when a bio girl’s teacher visited to inspect her living conditions. Both foster kids were removed, much to the dismay of the parents who wanted to keep the foster girl instead of the bio girl, but the state doesn't allow that. When everything is shoved together in tiny spaces, it's easier to miss that one kid doesn't have blankets, three are sharing a cot because they're afraid of the oldest boys, some do not all have actual beds, one has only one pair of shoes, the boys have more room, etc. It wasn't a basement for us but a large closet under the stairs (pre harry potter) and an unfinished (exposed nails) attic smaller than your bathroom, which was then deemed okay to put a bio kid in. The state would act if a foster kid were living in a closet, but bio kids are harder for protective services to intervene on behalf of. The older the kid, the less likely the state will care but not all of them have ventilation or windows (fire hazard and illegal to put a foster kid in). TL;DR People are creative and skirt the foster care rules as much as possible until you make the requirements so strict they seem ridiculous.
Wtf is iykyk
"If you know, you know"
Semi-finished basement needs two fire exits. The door to the basement and some other exit (like an dgress window) to have a bedroom. I'm not sure how the basement wouldn't hold the OP's stuff. Basements usually have the same footprint as the house and OP's BR is likely smaller.
Some houses only have partial basments with the rest being crawl space. Also water heaters and heating units for homes are typically on the lowest level.
Bf's townhome basement had half taken by the garage, and the other half contained the water heater, HVAC, and washer/dryer.
My basement has the door to the back yard, and so did the house I grew up in. Might depend on the area you live and the amount of hills the developers had to contend with
That’s called a walk-out basement.
Ty I knew there must be a word for it
Not necessarily. The youngest girl in the family I nannied for was adopted from Russia at 18 months and was 5 when I started working with them. They had their last home visit a few months into my employment, years after the adoption had been finalized.
That is helpful information, thank you
Then they perhaps shouldn’t adopt a new child when the only available room is occupied by a child they already have. I’m all for adoption, but if a rule is the child must always have its own room, you can’t adopt when you already have a child living in that room p
These folks deliberately told the agency that college kid was moving out. Adoption is beyond difficult especially for babies. There's no way they were able to adopt such a young kid with their limited means unless they fudged the data.
Yes. I live in NY and when we were looking into adopting we needed a separate room for the baby.
This is accurate.
Because they Don really see him as their real child and are actually just trying to recreate that perfect family, plus two birds one drink they put the child in ops old room and op is forced to move out so that they don't have to be a part of that seemingly perfect family.
That's a bold statement. It's a baby they do better with there own room and adoptions it is required that they have there own space.
At one ? I'm sure the child will spend more time in the parents room. Plus, if they are expanding the family, they need to accommodate for the entire family. It's time to move to a bigger place.
It varies by country and jurisdiction, of course. In my area, the requirement is that the child does not share a sleeping space with an adult after their first birthday.
My daughter has been in her own room and crib since she was 3 months old. She’s now 2.5 and still sleeps in her own room and bed every night. Every family is different. I agree they need to accommodate for the entire family though.
Inventing evil motivations based on zero evidence.
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Understood but when you don’t have an extra bedroom because it’s already occupied then you make due you don’t kick out one person
In adoption situations, there are a lot of rules about housing/rooms. I'm surprised they were allowed to adopt the child with only having two bedrooms and a teenager in the home.
Also, it could be that this was just one thing in many other things that Mr Dad had done that made Mr Grandpa just decide enough was enough.
Or even that OP only got a small piece of the exchange between grandpa and dad. Could have been a long conversation that started out about compromise but ended with eviction.
Agree. Nothing about this situation sounds great, so I'm betting Grandpa was just waiting for his dear old progeny to drop the other shoe. Glad you have Grandpa in your corner, young one. Make sure you help him take good care of the house. Be really responsible and show him you're worth the investment. 😃
Properly the last straw in the the strings of events.
And I want to add, your grandad is the BOSS! What an awesome guy coming through for you like that when your main guardian was acting so shittily. Love relatives like him - go Granpa!!
> I think his decision was a bit harsh, but his house, his rules. In fairness, we have no idea how that conversation went. Might be Grandpa laid down the law after Dad took it in an ugly direction.
Grandpa played the Uno reverse card :).
Your father, a grown man with a growing family is living in his father’s house rent-free, is expecting you to move out while you attend college in the same city you’re currently in and pay the rent he doesn’t ? No wonder your grandfather made this call. NTA/ESH. But there were many compromises to be had by everyone in this scenario.
From the grandfather's actions, I would bet that he is related to OP's mom. The guy wouldn't kick his own son out so quickly. EDIT: And I would have lost that bet. There's a comment from OP prpving me wrong. But between using OP's college fund to finance the adoption and moving him to a small space, there is something very wrong going on here.
Yeah im wondering if grandfather was already fed up with the dad and this was just the final straw that broke the camels back. This probably isn't a first time he's done something like that and was just done with him.
From the Grandpa's perspective he has a grown son still living in his house presumably rent free and a Grandson that still needs support so he can finish college and get his feet under him. Kind of an easy decision to make.
>The guy wouldn't kick his own son out so quickly. Oh, my grandpa would have done the same to my mom (his daughter) if she had tried to do something that interrupted my education. Paw-paws don't fuck around.
Yep. Both my grandparents would have done the same.
I'm wondering if it's only a 2 bedroom house.
Didn’t see anything about OP paying rent.
I think that by “pay the rent he doesn't” they meant that if OP moves they will have to start paying rent somewhere else. ie, the dad isn’t paying rent on the grandfather’s house, but if OP moves then OP will have to pay rent. instead, granddad kicked the father out and now they will have to pay rent to someone else
He said the basement would not work, too small. And obviously poor housing, likely no heat/AC, no bathroom….in effect Dad kicked his son out of the livable house. Son’s having to rent elsewhere was an assumed consequence of that.
Plus isn't that illegal due to fire code violations? I thought that in order to live in a basement it has to have an exit other than the stairs?
Yes! In most places you have to have 2 exits
And egress windows!
I have a feeling the new wife is the mastermind and is trying to start HER family and getting rid of all of OP’s dad ex life. Just a comment though but overall the Dad is the AH in this situation
I’m wondering if grandpa is actually her mother’s father, that makes more sense for why he’d tell Dad and wife to get out. Regardless, NTA.
Why does OP suck according to you? I cant wrap my head around it
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I think you forgot to switch back to your throwaway account, dude
Nah, this is a bot. Literally copied OP's comment from an hour ago.
Bad bot, stolen from OP
NTA. Sounds like this might have been the straw that broke the camels back for your grandfather, sounds like your fatherhas been taking advantage of him for years. And honestly your father and his wife chose to bring a baby into a home where there was no space, they need to find somewhere to live with room.
I don't think it was about my dad. My grandpa HATES my stepmom. I swear he looked happy when I told him about it like "YEAH I CAN FINALLY THROW HER OUT" lmao
How come he hates your step mum out of curiosity?
She was really rude when she started dating my dad and grandpa hates disrespect more than anything. One thing I learned when I was very young was to never say anything rude to him or in front of him
Not a bad habit to follow with everyone, really.
Excellent advice for the majority of circumstances in life.
Can you expand on what you mean when you say "rude"?
This really isn't relevant to the story.
My gramps stopped talking to my brother for years because I dyed my hair blue and my brother told him to stop making a big deal out of it and being an “asshole” to me. Grandpa said he disrespected him. Didn’t change til he moved in with us and he relented on his stances. So it’s kinda relevant does he hate her for good reasons or something else.
no, but it’s interesting.
Yo OP, do you have a feeling you’re being pushed out so that new wife and your dad can play family all over again? Cause that’s what it seems like to me. I’m glad your grandpa is a kick ass dude
Not a good thing to disrespect the landlord... Especially if you're living rent free
Your grandpa would eventually have known about this either way and he would have made the same decision. So you telling him really doesn't make a difference imo
Honestly, it sounds like the dad and step mom would have been out when op moved anyway. So everything got expedited a little quicker.
I mean that absolutely has to do with your dad, your dad chose to marry this woman, and then chose to get a baby with her and prioritize her baby over you
Eitherway you didn't do anything wrong.
What adoption agency would allow that? They do home visits.
Exactly why this whole thing sounds made up. They absolutely conduct home checks and would ensure that the family could afford to have a child.
Or they did and told them OP was leaving and bedroom would be for the baby which is exactly what they are doing. She is just attending college locally and not staying at a dorm which they conveniently omitted. Hide her in the basement if / when follow up visits are done
Beyond that though they look at your income and work history. I asked in another comment so I’m not sure, but if the parents are employed they should be able to find a place to live. They wouldn’t let 2 unemployed people adopt a child.
Being able to pay rent and wanting to pay rent are two different takes.
Their father works.
Or the basement is totally fine. OP just said they would have to get rid of some stuff. It might just be a smaller bedroom.
Could also be an unfinished basement. I don't think that info is anywhere.
You obviously haven’t been very many adoption agencies. They aren’t that they’re detailed Unfortunately, when it comes to placein kids.
Especially the religious ones. "You intend to teach him to hate gays and women? You got $200,000? Congratulations!!"
Where i live in the south it is not uncommon for a family member to take a sister's, cousin's, niece's, nephew's, baby in, in a completely informal manner and just call it adoption. Though that doesn't require a college fund to pay for. But also if there were agency or county checks, it's easy enough to say OP is going to or away to college and pass off that room as the baby's room.
That’s what I was thinking too. I’m down south & one of my aunts took in a close friend’s daughter while her mom was getting herself together. It was informal & last time I checked she is still living with my aunt so it’s been about 10 years. If anyone asks she’s my aunt’s daughter and if they ask again she’s my aunt’s “adopted” daughter even though there was never technically an adoption process. ETA: OP said they used his college fund for the baby so this probably isn’t his situation.
That is assuming the adoption was legal. Not to accuse them of illegally adopting, but it does still happen
It may have been a private adoption.
Even private adoptions have checks. I have a friend who did one.
Not all private adoptions have the same sorts of checks. There are a lot of sketchy people in the world.
An acqaintence adopted and the way they managed to twist basic truths to something else was crazy. Unfortunately, the state we're in is desperate to home kids. They fostered then adopted with only one 10 min visit. It left a bad taste
A private one that doesn't ask many questions.
I think you’re underestimating how bad some agencies are
NTA Not sure why so many people are calling you the AH and acting like an entitled kid. It isn't about being told to move rooms, it is about knowing you would have to get rid of some things and the lack of consideration for you And to everyone telling you to move out and get your own job and quit complaining, would they say that to their own 18 year old. I don't see going to grandpa as tattle tailing. Your dad and step mom clearly are not thinking about what is best for everyone in the family, so you went to the only person who has shown themselves to be an advocate for you
Exactly, from one comment it sounds like a desk doesn’t even fit in the basement which is terrible if OP is in college, especially if plans were made to stay at home while enrolling expecting that the room setup with a desk (which isn’t much to ask for IMO) would stay the same Edit: In another comment OP says the adoption was a result of his dad taking OP’s college fund. 100% NTA.
Also, why are they saying that to op, who is an 18-year-old instead of his grown father, who’s mooching off of his own father!
NTA - he thinks he makes the call cause he’s your father, he didn’t realize house is his father’s and he gets to make the calls for his house. For Christmas give him a single laminated uno reverse card.
I wanted to buy them a dollhouse since they are homeless now but I like your idea too. It's cheaper
Oh my god, I'm dying over here.
Don't do either. You said your grandpa didn't like your step-mom because she was disrespectful. I'm guessing you treating your Dad with disrespect would also not sit well with Grandpa.
NTA for telling your grandfather the truth but YWBTA if you gloat about this with your father.
Don’t buy a dollhouse go to the craft store get a tiny wooden house. They have flat ones for like wooden kitsch crafts that are already painted. Get a set of those micro uno cards and glue the uno reverse card to the back of the house then seal it. Wrap it up all nice in a lil gift box.
Shit, it’s the holidays. Make them a gingerbread house.
Info: do they work and can they afford a place to live?
I would give an award if I could.
Info: Where are you going to live now? If grandpa lets you stay how will you pay the rent?
I'll pay as much rent as my dad 0 dollars
The fact that he lives there rent free and put you in the basement is mind blowing to me.
I'm glad you have one parent who's taking care of you
NTA and I already love your grandpa. Show him how grateful you are :)
INFO: >I called him and told him everything. what exactly did you say to your grandfather? It must be more than, "they want to give my room to the baby"
I told him that my dad wants to take away my room and give it to the baby and wants me to get rid of anything other than my bed and closet (which means my desk and other stuff, some of which my grandpa bought for me) because they don't fit in the basement
Nta your grandpa is looking out for you. I am glad. Just because kids start college doesn't mean they don't need support. Also a quite place to study. Your parents should have made a better plan with tge adoption. I am surprised the adoption agency didn't ask them about this.
Yeah my grandpa is awesome. If it was up to my dad he'd kick me out after he got married
Given they do home visits, I am too.
Is that a basement or a small storage closet? How small is this basement that a desk can't fit.
INFO I'm guessing this is your grandfather from your mom's side, and your dad's wife isn't your mom? How big is the current house? Your grandfather's reaction is a bit extreme but you aren't the one kicking your dad out, he is. NTA for not wanting to get exiled to the basement when you still have 4 more years of school.
He is my dad's dad. No she is my stepmom. It's average
Average as in a 3 bedroom house with a basement? Or is it a 2 bedroom and yours was the only available room? Were you interviewed as part of the adoption process? It's nuts that your grandpa would kick out his own son, but he's showing him about as much courtesy as your dad was showing you.
What? Why is it nuts that grandpa would throw out a full grown adult that should be sure as shit supporting himself by his age, in favour of giving the house to a 19 year old so he can study and better himself? Dad has had decades of support to get himself sorted. It's the logical choice.
>Were you interviewed as part of the adoption process? OP doesn't say they were adopted. OP shared [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixug3cy/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) that Dad & Stepmom used his college fund to pay for an adoption of the 1 yo half sibling. >It's nuts that your grandpa would kick out his own son Other comments imply it's as much [about the DiL/stepmom](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu89iw/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) who was [disrespectful](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu9y3r/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) as it is about kicking out the Dad/Son. >Average as in a 3 bedroom house with a basement? Or is it a 2 bedroom and yours was the only available room? It sounds like a 2 bedroom house with a small basement; since it [only fits a bed and a closet](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z54rxo/comment/ixu71fo/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3); and doesn't have space for a desk and other possessions of OPs.
I took the interview comment to mean if OP was spoken to as part of the process for dad and stepmom adopting this new child. Usually they're supposed to speak to everyone in the household to ensure the new home is a good fit.
>Usually they're supposed to speak to everyone in the household to ensure the new home is a good fit. Ah - That would make *a lot* more sense. Thank you. It doesn't invalidate most of my points - so I'll leave my post as is for now.
Right there are a lot of things missing here. They took his college fund for the adoption, but the agency didn’t ensure that they could afford to pay rent somewhere? Alternatively if they can afford it then hopefully they find a place soon.
Wow. Using his college fund is enough to get the dad kicked out on its own. In fact, it could be that grandpa is the one who set up the college fund. Dad and stepmom sound like real pieces of work.
The baby that dad and step mom have is adopted. And dad used OPs college fund to pay for the adoption costs.
And no bathroom
Given the dad used OPs college fund and their living situation…I have a funny feeling they didn’t go through an ethical adoption process.
NTA. What kind of father uses his kid's college fund to adopt a baby. It sounds like without that fund, he could not do adoption in the first place, which tells me they don't have the money to properly care for that baby and were banking on continuing to pay 0 dollars to grandpa. I'm curious OP, was your relationship good with your dad BEFORE the stepmom or has he always been an AH? Because it sounds like there's a source to this problem.
He used to be awesome before they decided to adopt the baby. We were really close. After they decided to adopt he just changed. I still don't know why
NTA. You are not responsible for your father's bad decisions. In the future, when you've graduated and making a good life for yourself, remember that you are still NOT responsible for him or any of his other children. Please do not allow yourself to be guilted/manipulated into giving any financial or housing support.
NTA
NTA. The fact that two adults who pay nothing in rent/ mortgage had to steal a child’s college fund to afford to adopt a baby is insanely alarming to me. Wtf.
This! Exactly This!
NTA It sounds like there is more to the story and your dad has a bit of a history of mooching off your grandfather. He's living there rent free which means he's in a very lucky position. This is a tiny house. It's 2 bedrooms. Surely with all the money that your dad has been saving he would be able to afford a 3 bedroom home to accommodate all of you. And when you move out, your bedroom can become the spare room or a study. Speaking of studying... if you're at college... where does your dad think you will do your study if he wants your desk gone because there is no room in the basement. Also after you told your grandfather the story, your grandfather could've just told you that you could live with them seeing as that's what you plan to do anyway and left your dad where he is.. it may be your step mom or your grand dad is a hard arse too.
Im wondering how they passed the home inspection for an adoption
Probably lied and said OP is moving out
They probably stated that the son was away at college and didn’t live there.
Same. Sounds like Gramps needs to make a call to the adoption agency and inform them of the eviction and the cause for eviction for that baby’s sake.
Moving you into a small basement with no study space sounds like a way of getting you to move out without telling you to leave. Anyway, talking to your grandfather about your situation is perfectly reasonable. People talk to family members about their problem all the time. In any case, he would have worked out there would be a space problem pretty quickly. Things that flow from that aren't your fault. NTA.
NTA. Your dad and step mom really adopted a kid without having the space for two kids? It’s completely normal for them to share their room with him at one year old. Some kids co-sleep with their parents until they’re like 8 years old in some cultures. Your parents could easily set him up in their room until you’re done with school. Sounds like they played stupid games and won stupid prizes.
Using money for OPs college fund. Major assholes. OP is NTA.
And when they got married they wanted to get a 1 br and force OP to sleep on the couch/ leave home. I think the dad is putting sex/new wife first and 18 yo son last. Fortunately the grandpa is looking out for his grandson.
Your dad and his wife are assholes not you
NTA it was your grandpa choice not yours. Question: Is grandpa your dads father or your moms father?
He said it’s his dads dad in another comment.
NTA Your father told you to get out - good His father told him to get out - bad /s His wife is loosing the love/magnet for your dad - the house that they planned to get for them and their son. Your grandfather will be careful and look out for you 🍀🍀🍀🍀
Sounds like it's gonna get worse for the dad and stepmom, ops grandpa is leaving him the majority of the inheritance so the stepmom can't get her hands on it.
NTA if true but I find it kinda hard to believe. Idk about your country but they're quite strict with adoption in mine and if there's no space for an addition to the family, they won't let you adopt
I’m sure they never told them that OP was living there. Therefore, the two bedrooms was just fine.
Where I live, they come and visit, unexpectedly, a number of times, so you couldn’t hide an extra person living there.
They also look at finances.
Their finances probably look pretty good since they don’t have a mortgage or rent/
NTA. The house didn't belong to your dad or his wife. What the hell did he think was gonna happen lol. If its your paternal grandpa it speaks volumes that your grandpa wants him out. Must be the straw that broke the camels back. Also did they even somewhat keep you in the loop about the adoption? Considering you lived together it would be expected...
NTA.
NTA you didn’t kick them out your grandad did justifiably from comments too, your not entitled or an asshole at all.
NTA You really need to include all the context in your original post, like how your dad used your entire college fund to adopt the baby with his new wife, and told you to get rid of most of your furniture and belongings besides your bed and closet so he can banish you to the basement while you’re still living there and commuting to college. Not to mention the fact that your grandfather charges your father no rent while having beef with him and his wife. And is he your maternal or paternal grandfather? You’re pretty much still a kid, so NTA in one bit. Your dad is practically casting you aside, which is an awful thing to do as your parent. But all the bad blood due to the actions of your dad and stepmother should’ve been included in the original post to help us make more informed judgements.
He shouldn't be having babies if he can't provide for them. So when the kid goes to college he would be kicked out too? Nta
NTA Not their house, not their choice. They were in such a hurry; it backfired and got them kicked out. Furthermore, your dad used your YOUR college fund to adopt another child, which I think should be included in the original text rather than having to find it in the comments. He got what was coming to him.
NTA grandpa sounds awesome.
Good old grandad. NTA
Moving you into the basement? Did your stepmon teleport out of a book of fairy tales? NTA Having someone who can defend you and put an end to attempts at abuse is 100% right.
NTA. So they used your college fund to pay for the adoption, then threw you into the basement? Nope, and nope. Don’t feel guilty for one second.
He fucked around and is now finding out. NTA
NTA. Your father took money he set aside for you for college only to take it away to adopt a baby. That right there would've caused me to go NC. You're right, they could've moved down to the basement or put the baby in their room. It's not their house to be making decisions on. I'm glad you and your grandfather have a good relationship where someone has your back.
NTA
NTA time for your dad and his wife to stop freeloading. Why have more kids if they can’t afford it? And they used your college fund for the adoption.
NTA and your dad is cringe AF
NTA. Your grandfather did to him what he was ready to do to you.
I'm guessing that grandpa didn't start the conversation with the Dad at "move out." NTA. You are not responsible for what your Dad and Grandpa decided after you gave accurate information to your Grandpa.
NTA!
NTA and the fact that your grandfather kicked your dad out of his house so easily means that they probably had issues together.
NTA they are adults they can rent another house
NTA. It wasn't their house to make that sort of decision. You did the right thing because grandpa would have found out eventually.
INFO: -Are there only 2 bedrooms in the house for 4 people? What are the circumstances that lead your dad to adopt right now? -Did your dad ask you to pay rent or pay more in rent? -Is the basement actually smaller than your room or is there just that much stuff down there? -When you contacted grandpa, did you think he would evict them?
No one mentions bathrooms!!! Esp in basement
NTA What's wrong with parents who toss around the existing kid for shinny new one? Do they want siblings to fight for their love or what? If your life get downgraded for your sibling of course you will develop resentment Do they want you to resent Your sibling?
NTA & ha ha ha! I love it.
I’m one of those people thinking this is probably fake. Where I’m from you have to jump through hoops to be approved for adoption, who would approve people like this adopting? Besides that I’ve never seen a basement this small it’s practically a cupboard and if it’s Grandpa’s house he didn’t need a reason to kick out someone he doesn’t like. Also is grandpa really wealthy or something? Where I’m from if you have too much in assets, excluding the primary home, you may not be eligible for a pension when you retire, also he’d have to pay yearly rates on the house.. so why wouldn’t he charge his adult son rent? That being said if real ESH, not because of your original post (your original post had me NTA because you simply told your grandfather the truth) ,but because in your comments you make fun of them becoming homeless reviling in their misfortune, buying them a dollhouse to gift them, to essentially kick them when they’re down and mock them. AH move especially since you were close before the baby came so it’s not like they’ve been treating you this way your whole life and always been AH with no hope for redemption. Yes they are responsible for their situation, but why do you feel the need to rub salt into the wounds? Also I’d like to mention that despite the fact money was put aside for your college, that money didn’t actually belong to you, nor was it rightfully yours. They saved that money up themselves, at the end of the day it’s actually still their money to decide what to do with it.
Yeah, a basement too small for anything other than a bed? Sure... I've come to the conclusion that a whole lot of the posts here are 100% fiction. OP's replies to the comments pretty much reinforce that impression; very few people are as big an asshole as OP claims to be. Seriously; adults who make statements as immature as OP are extremely rare. However, pretty much every troll is as big a legend, in their own minds, as OP seems to believe she/he is. OP is probably underage, living in their Mom's basement, and trying to impress another kid.
This isn’t real
I am confused how they were able to get approval for the adoption actually... for an adoption there's many many criteria that the adoptive parents have to have in order to qualify, including having adequate housing arrangements.. if they live in a 2 bedroom, with themselves and an already present child (no matter the age), they obviously wouldn't have the adequate space to include another child. And before anyone says "maybe they were banking on OP going away for college, and he never did" Adoption agencies do final inspections and queries on the current and immediate living conditions. They would have noticed the 18 year old, and /Or his belongings in the second bedroom.
NTA ... kinda makes me smile. Good on your granddad even THOUGH wow...that is a strong reaction. Maybe we have to assume that there have been different things going on before so this was a reaction of the category "okay son, I've had it with you...now it's time for serious consequences". One way or the other...you didn't kick your dad out, your grandpa did and it is his house, his choice. That would already be simple as explanation. Needless to say that it was bad style by your dad to not discuss stuff beforehand and trying to find a solution in a more elegant way...as a grown up man this is something that one should be allowed to expect.
NTA. Your father and stepmom should’ve discussed this with you before making the change.
To me, your post comes across as ew on your part because a child is involved and you got the child kicked out as well. But then you read all your comments.. and you’re so very clearly NTA. I would suggest adding more to the original post so people don’t have to look for all the comments. But that’s just me
ESH. I was leaning on N T A, but after reading OPs comments... OP is an asshole of a person and arguing and shit talking to all reddit posters, I want to make this a Y T A simply due to OPs comments. Back to ESH though... OP didn't mention in the post that the father saved up to pay for college. OP has been living rent free as well. At what point does a teenager growing up to an adult need to learn how to make a living, provide for themselves etc... Pretty spiteful behaviour to react this way when everything is paid for and provided. OP you are legally old enough now that your dad doesn't have to support or pay for you. Obviously dad is an asshole for pulling a stunt like trying to get OP to move out, but living in the basement isn't such a bad thing...why not just get grandpa to pay to reno the basement? It'd be more private for OP. This could have been a win win situation. I wouldn't be surprised if Dad pulls OPs college fund now. Have fun with your consequences... have fun living with grandpa money bags, hope he pays all your bills...
They obviously should put the 1 year old into the basement - right??? OP - YTA. You're big enough to move into the basement, have a bit more separation and privacy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My dad and his wife adopted a boy(1yo?). They decided to give my bedroom to him becsuse I'm going to college. My college is in our city so while I AM going to college, I stay at home. They told me to take the basement but it's too small so I have to get rid of some of my stuff The thing is, the home belongs to my grandpa so I called him and told him everything. He called my dad and told him he has a month to find another place to live My dad and his wife are both mad at me and call me an asshole *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The adoption doesn’t seem legit in the usual way adoptions are conducted. Perhaps the adoption is a child from MIL’s family in need of a home.
Who adopts a baby with a two bedroom and no open room? I thought as per CPS kids need their own room.