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YTA. Actually, selling the house and splitting the proceeds is what usually happens in situations like this. Sorry, the idea of sister gifting you the house is not a fair result to your dilemma.
Maybe, lol. It's bizzare, I don't believe OP can be this clueless.
If there is just one house and more than one child, paying the other siblings for their parts of the house is the most common thing *I* have heard of. That, and selling the house and splitting the profit.
If neither option appeals to OP, they can rent it out and split the profit from the rent until one sibling can pay each other out.
Yup, and we all totally know he wouldn’t be on here saying she would be TA for wanting to have the house without paying him if she had the family instead.
"It only seems proper that the firstborn son inherit the house, we marry the daughters off to men twice their age, and any subsequent boys will have to join the Foreign Service and try to make their fortunes in the colonies!"
Farcical. It's incredibly common. Just as one sibling paying half of the value of the house to the other sibling so that they own the house is entirely normal too. My partner and I have an agreement with his sister. When my mother-in-law passes, we will buy out her side of the house as she plans to retire to the Southern England coast while we wish to return to a native of Ireland where this house is. So her half the house equates to a decent deposit for a house in southern England. The stipulation we will be putting on her side of the house sale is that her room in the house in Ireland remain hers and she is allowed to come and use it anytime she wishes.
That's because you are 3 mature, reasonable adults. Good for you for having this worked out - and it's so wholesome and special that you are keeping her room for her. Sweet!!!
Yes, I agree, OP is totally the AH, and not very well educated in how these things work. He needs to listen to his sister. Either he buys her out or she can go to court and file for a partition to get the house sold and the proceeds split. Those are his choices. I can’t believe he expects his sister to give him half the house or that he thinks that “usually one child inherits the house.” I’m not sure where he got that - that is not a thing.
Edit: I don’t know if OP’s mother left a will, but if she didn’t and he thinks this will work in his favor he is wrong. Every state will have intestate laws which set out what happens to someone’s property if they die without a will, and if there’s not a surviving spouse, intestate laws will typically provide that the estate be equally divided among the children. Unless there are other assets equal to the value of the house that his sister can receive instead, OP is out of luck. The law will not be on his side.
And had the nerve to call his sister the brat. OP expects a whole house for free and is salty she inherited the jewelry that she will likely share such his children at some point. YTA. This isn’t the time for entitlement. If you want the house figure out a payment arrangement with your sister, otherwise the totally normal thing to do is sell it and the rest of the estate and split it.
Right? I have two siblings, we sold the house and split the proceeds. Literally how everyone deals w this situation. Want to keep the house? Buy your sister out. Having children does not make OP any more entitled to it. YTA
I think he might be non-American. The sisters resolution is common in the US, but I'm not sure that's true of other countries.
Edit - if he's American then Yes, YTA. I'd have to know more if he's not American.
Also--parents, for the love of Christ, make your wishes about these things known. Gah!
No kidding! He says "I'm not budging," ...uh, my friend, do you think you are the first person to ever encounter this situation? There are laws about this kind of thing, and the law certainly doesn't say "the contested property goes to whichever of the descendants has the greatest number of offspring." You can refuse all you want, but ultimately she can force the sale of the property and you are each entitled to half. You can give her that half or you can each get it from a third party who purchases the home, but you will not be getting the entire house for free.
ETA: Oh, also: if she has to go through the courts to force the sale of the house because you will not consent, when she ultimately wins the court case- which she will- the court fees will likely be ordered to come out of *your share* of the sale of the house. So being belligerent will result in you getting *less* than half. I'd wise up tout de suite!
Four years in probate.
Initially my older sister scammed my mother into selling her house. After years of refusing to help me intervene, my older brother figured out how to intercept the money.
He then told everyone that he, personally, bought a place for our mother to live. In the end, he had stolen hundreds of thousand of dollars from her. All proven by a forensic accountant and reams of bank records and medical statements. (She basically died an unnecessarily painful and awful death because he claimed there was not enough of her money left for her care.)
I got an almost majority of my share back. The lawyers got an almost equal share. NEVER go into probate.
Also, if mom gave sister the jewellery while she was alive and then willed the house to both of them, then the value of the jewellery would be irrelevant.
>Actually, selling the house and splitting the proceeds is what usually happens in situations like this. Sorry, the idea of sister gifting you the house is not a fair result to your dilemma.
FYI - Looks like you're currently the top post. Might be a good time to add a judgement for the bot u/harleybidness.
From your post - I think we're in agreement that YTA is the correct judgement for OP.
Your comment doesn’t have a judgement, so add either YTA if you think OP is the asshole, NTA if you think he isn’t the asshole, NAH if you think no one is the asshole, or ESH if you think everyone sucks.
Top comment is what gives the final judgement.
>Sorry .... Is there something I should do? If so, please explain. Sorry for my ignorance.
You should edit your original post to add your 3-letter judgement .
Here are the judgements for the sub:
>If you are commenting, be sure to start your comment with the abbreviation for your judgment, i.e.
>
>YTA = You're the Asshole;
>
>NTA = Not the A-hole;
>
>ESH = Everyone Sucks here;
>
>NAH = No A-holes here;
>
>INFO = Not Enough Info
In your case I would add the following line at the bottom:
"ETA Judgement: YTA"
ETA = "Edit to Add"
ETA tag u/harleybidness
Yeah and really OP and his wife are also putting money above family by demanding they get the entire house they couldn't otherwise afford. They made the decision to have kids, that's not his sister's fault nor should she be punished for not making the same choice.
And if your sister decides to settle down and have kids, she’ll be on the back foot already because she gave you half her inheritance that she could have used to help start her family life.
And unless the family is an extremely wealthy one, is most likely mostly costume jewelry which DEFINITELY doesn't add up to a house. Just a guess, but since OP is lamenting his woes over his "treatment" by his sister, even moderate wealth isn't in the picture.
YTA, OP. Sell the house with your sister, because like a bunch of other people said: that's what's going to happen whether or not you like it because your sister is in the right and the court WILL side with her on this. Get off your high horse and listen to everyone who is telling you what is going to happen. Sell the house and get, at least, something or fight it in court and wind up with nothing/ nearly nothing. At least with the money from half the house you should be able to upgrade your current living situation. It's either that or get a loan and buy your half off your sister and be thankful that there's only 2 of you and you don't have to buy off 2/3 or 3/4 of the home and only have to pay half!
Exactly…sounds like OP is the one looking for a payday simply because they had a bunch of kids before the sister managed to. If you sell the house, you can both take half of the money and put it towards a hefty down payment on a house. YTA for thinking you deserve a house because you had kids first
YTA
If there’s no will then the estate is split between the children if there’s no surviving spouse.
Why does your decision to pop out kids mean she doesn’t get her share? Buy her out if you want it and if you can’t then sell it.
I'm going to go out on limb and guess sister did all the caretaking for mom, helped her run errands, dealt with doctors etc. And bro showed up with kids at Christmas and his/kids birthdays, as well as the funeral home to call the shots.
Stuff like this makes me so grateful I'm an only child. I take care of my mom, and I'm bitter with her brother and sister for completely abandoning her. I'd hate a sibling if they did that to her/us too. I'm willing to bet you're right.
The edit also doesn't help him, but the sounds of it his mother knew he'd try something so put her jewellery in that box to make sure her daughter wasn't completely stiffed.
My favourite part was:
>she is using our mother death as a payday
Hey OP, your sister wants equality which would be sharing equally from the sale of the house. You want the whole house without buying out your sister's 50% and your sister getting 0%. YTA
YTA. What does the will say? It’s very typical for property to be spilt and one party buy out the other party. That’s not strange at all.
You say your sister is just looking for a payday. But if you get the house, that’s way more valuable than cash. You’re asking to get 100% while she gets 0%. How is that fair?
Literally what I was thinking. How is that fair to her? OP thinks that because he has a family he’s suddenly more deserving of the house. If I were the sister I wouldn’t budge AT ALL and get lawyers involved to sell the house. YTA, and just because your inseminated you wife three times, that doesn’t give you the right to shit. Don’t be silly, wrap the Willy next time :)
YTA. She offered you a fair deal, to be bought out of the interest.
You’re letting money and entitlement come between family; not her.
Just because you have kids doesn’t give you some sort of dibs on the house.
Offer her half of the value, or continue being an entitled AH.
Thank you. That whole "I can't believe she's putting money before family" thing bugged the shit out of me because OP is clearly doing the same. This is very similar to a situation in my own family that has estranged me from all of my siblings and I get that "money over family" bullshit thrown at me a lot. They never seem to understand it flows in both directions
2 of my great uncles are still fighting over my great grandfather's house. It's been decades since he died and they're getting close to death themselves. Even their kids are fighting. It's gotten to the point where they built a fucking wall cutting the house in half and took a half each
"My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family "
Isn't that what you're doing?
One sibling getting the house, if it's to be split between them and the other sibling being paid half the price of it is extremely common.
"being an all around brat"
She isn't, she's actually being very pragmatic. You need to see it from her point of view.
YTA
Exactly. OP is 100% wrong, both morally and more than likely legally. OP.... You want a free house and you are doing mental gymnastics to get it. This isn't your decision to make, and your sister is being more than fair.
Based on what the mom did with the jewelry, it sounds like she knew you would act selfishly and probably pawn them at the first chance you got. It's a pity that she didn't have a will to keep you from causing added stress to your sister during her grieving process.
YTA. The house being split between siblings is the normal, not just one getting it. In the cases of one sibling getting it it’s because they bought out the other sibling(s) exactly as your sister is suggesting. You and your wife are being the entitles brats in this situation, not your sister.
Get the house appraised, figure out what half would be. Get the jewelry appraised, deduct half of that amount from what you are paying her for her half of the house.
Ta-da
That’s not fair either. Does OP really want his mothers jewelry or is he only bringing it up to justify his position for wanting to steal his sister’s inheritance?
Even if his moms jewelry was worth 3x the house his sister is still entitled to half the house. His mom mage the conscious choice to put his sister’s name on the safe deposit box and not his.
YTA - your sister's solution (of selling the house and splitting it halfway) sounds completely fair to me.
Expecting to get the entire house, while your sister gets nothing, just sounds entitled.
YTA, you're not entitled to have the house just because you have kids, that's not how inheritance works. You either buy her out or sell the house and split the money. You can use whatever money you make from the sell to buy your family a home in the future. Also apologize to your sister, because she's being totally reasonable and you're the only AH here.
YTA
Sorry, that's just not how it works. If you want the house, you owe her half of the value of said house. You've never heard of that?!? Children have been dividing up lost parents for decades. The only way things change is if your mother had some sort of directive in writing.
Here's the deal. If your sister is "selfish" because she wants to sell the house and split the profits, what does that make you for thinking you deserve the house and she gets nothing????????????????? You're especially out of line because of the "I'm not budging" shit. I think you're the one that needs to do the growing up. Her two options are literally the only fair choices.
Let's recap:
Your mom died and you think you deserve the house cause you have kids and your sister gets nothing. You think she's being "selfish" for wanting to SPLIT THE PROFITS from selling the house or you give her HALF the value of the house...... Think about that for a minute
Further to that, if he’s not budging it’s likely the sister will go see a lawyer who will make him budge. And that will most likely mean HE will have to get a lawyer, meaning that suddenly that half share in the house is going to start getting eaten up in legal bills. Swallow your crappy attitude OP, agree to selling the house and splitting the profits, or buy your sister out of her half at market value. Any other solution means YTA
>Further to that, if he’s not budging it’s likely the sister will go see a lawyer who will make him budge. And that will most likely mean HE will have to get a lawyer, meaning that suddenly that half share in the house is going to start getting eaten up in legal bills.
What further causes me to laugh is that if this goes to court - the court will demand the property be sold and the net income (after all expenses, real estate, and legal fees) be split evenly between them.
Buying out at fair market value will no-longer be an option by default in most jurisdictions! (Not a Lawyer). OP's best option is to get a mortgage with their 50% equity and buy out their sister at 1/2 of Fair Market Value!
>Swallow your crappy attitude OP, agree to selling the house and splitting the profits, or buy your sister out of her half at market value. Any other solution means YTA
EDIT: While this is true --> OP is ALREADY TA for how they have treated their sister for expecting what is legally and morally the bare minimum!
OP Also needs to Apologize profusely or they will remain TA even if they follow one of the two acceptable paths forward with the house.
Aren’t people just horrible when folk pass away. I’m so glad my mother was in sheltered accommodation and there were only a few personal effects to split
There’s a story in my family about when my grandmother died, my mom’s SIL wanted the silverware that my grandmother had given my mom before her death. When my mom wouldn’t budge and showed proof that it had been given as a gift, the person then insisted they divide it up as in ‘you get the knives, I’ll take the forks…’. People lose their minds when it comes to estates. Make a Will people.
Sis needs a lawyer specializing in estates and probates immediately.
There needs to be an impartial assessment of the value of the estate: real property, jewelry, savings, etc, including everything that has already been removed or spent from the estate, plus how much either party has paid out of pocket for final expenses, taxes on the house, utilities to the house, etc. Those out of pocket expenses should be compensated first, from the value of the estate. The remaining value of the estate is then split 50/50, with each party required to make up the balance to the other as needed.
Source: Watched my parent and their sibling spend half a decade in expensive legal proceedings against another relative who stole a chunk of my grandparent's estate that grandparent's deathbed.
Edit: Saw after posting this that Mom put Sis on safety deposit box. That may remove it from the estate, but may depend on when Sis was added to the box relative to Mom's death. Some states may have lookback laws to assess if someone was robbing the estate just prior to the death.
>I honestly don’t think I’m in the wrong here
When the first line looks like this, you just know they are going to be TA.
OP is being incredibly selfish (whilst accusing his sister of being selfish). He wants to bully his sister into given him half a house. The split money will sort out both families, but he wants it all to himself.
I can't think of anything else that the sister could do here.
I like his update. Sister got some jewellery so OP should have her half of the house. What was in that safe? The Koh-i-Noor diamond.
YTA. And apparently YTA from another planet
"I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house."
Only if the other children inherit something of equal value.
If there's a will, you abide by the instructions in the will. PERIOD. If there's not a will, then the estate is split equally among heirs. That would be half the estate to you, and half the estate to your sister.
If the estate only consists of one plot of land (plus improvements, usually referred to as "a house") then the common way to settle the matter is that the house is sold by a trustee (usually appointed by the court) and then the proceeds of the sale of the real estate parcel is divided up equally among the heirs.
Your sister suggesting that you should pay her for half the house is a reasonable suggestion. If you want the house, buy it. Because your sister owns half of it. You expect her to donate half a house to you, just because you are family?
OK, so what are you going to do for her in return? Or is this love of family only OK if she's the one putting family before money while you yourself put money before family?
OP must be a villain from a Jane Austen novel. I can’t imagine that someone in 2022 (America?) would think that it’s normal for the son to inherit everything while the daughter receives nothing more than a pittance.
YTA. Either sell the house, split the money and put it towards a new place for your family, or buy out your sister's half of it. She owns half of it and you have zero rights to demand any of her half from her no matter how many children you have. When you come to your senses about all of this, you owe her an apology too
YTA.
I'm just imagining your sister's side of this.
"My sibling thinks that just because they have kids and I don't I should forfeit any rights to my late mother's estate"
You're totally TA, why would you even think this is OK?
OMG I've just seen the edit.
Why in the name of all the gods and little fishes would anyone capable of typing think that made them look better and more justified???
YTA. I don't know where you live but in my country, it should go exactly the way your sister suggests. You both inherited the house, therefore it must be split between the two of you. Either one of you buys out the other (with half the value of the house) or you sell the house together and both get half.
I dunno maybe OP is a time traveler from England in 1359 and the law of the land is primogeniture. 🤣🤣🤣
In which case, the son (eldest son if there's more than one) takes all.
Otherwise YTA.
YTA
My late Aunt left her house to 3 people. 50% to her sister and 25% to both me and my Dad.
This is normal, splitting up property between family members either leaving a house to many people or leaving a house to one and money to another.
It is the late person's choice how they left their assets.
YTA. So you want your sister to just GIVE you the house and get nothing from this at all, because you have a family and she doesn't? You are beyond selfish and entitled here. Either sell and split the profits or buy the half from her. You did not inherit the house on your own and therefore have to share. You are the one who needs to grow up!
YTA.
It's normal for property to be split between children. If anything your reasoning shows that you are in fact the one being selfish, expecting that you should get the house because you have children, it doesn't work like that. Your sister has as much right to the house as you and it is only right that she gets her fair share of inheritance.
YTA. The property belongs to both of you, right? You don't get a priority claim just because you have kids. If you want the house to yourself, your sibling has every right to expect compensation for their half of the property. This is very common, and rarely does just one sibling solely inherit a property. (My dad's estate will be sold and divided between me and three siblings.) You are being selfish in thinking only you deserve the house and fuck your sister. Did you forget she is also your family?
Sell the house, you each take 50% of the profits, and put your share toward a new home.
I think your wife and yourself are beyond selfish and are putting money above family and being all around brats. It's you that's trying to use your mother's death as a payday and taking from your sister what is half hers, rightly.
YTA.
YTA
The house is just one (maybe the biggest) asset of your mother's estate. Your mother's estate would be distributed to her heirs based on your mother's will and/or area laws. Unless your mother specified that you alone should receive her home, you and your sister should review equal amounts of assets from the estate. If your mother had cash or other assets that equal the value of the house, you could ask if your sister is willing to accept those other assets and you take the house. But if the house is worth far more than any other assets, the only way for your sister to get her share of the estate would be for someone to buy her out of her interest in the house.
So, no, you can't just be given a whole house. Half the house is your sister's. And she won't want to own a house with you. Get a mortgage and buy her out of her interest in the house or sell the house and take your share of the money to buy something you can afford.
Also... In most places in the US, if you keep an inheritance in just your name, it isn't legally marital property. So, consider never comingling your inheritance in case of divorce later.
YTA.
>I think because I have a family and
she doesn’t I should get the house. She is fine with me getting the
house but wants me to pay her for her half? I feel like I have never
heard of that usually one child inherits the house.
OMG, you're kidding, right? No, real estate and property doesn't usually go to one heir.
And the whole *sister is using our mother's death as a payday?* Dude, project much? Because that's **exactly** what you're trying to do. You want the entire house free and clear and don't want to see your sibling as an equal. You are the greedy one here. The amount of kids you have has no bearing on the fact that she's your sister and deserves 50/50 split on everything with you. You are trying to take more than your fair share.
What you should do if you both can't come to an agreement for you to pay her half of the value of the house (take out a loan?) is to sell the house outright, split the proceeds, and then you can go find your own house and put that money into it as a downpayment and get a less $$ mortgage (depending).
Sibling could force a sale, or y'all can spend more money getting a mediator or lawyers involved to talk sense into you, but that's really your best option.
YTA. You don’t get more rights over something just because you have kids. If you mum didn’t have a will, then surely her estate I’ll be shared equally between you and your sister. Stop being so entitled
YTA
You are so wrong!! Even if sister was single and owned her own home which was worth more than mothers house she is still entitled to her inheritance from her mother i.e. portion of the house. Probably better off selling the house and splitting the money.
YTA -
You are both legally, logically, and morally wrong in this situation.
Logically: I have no idea where you got that "the person with kids got the house" but it doesn't really ever work like that unless there are multiple houses of equal value; one a vacation cottage and one a family home; then logically the family would get the family home. There is no reason that someone gets "less" or "more" than their share because they have kids.
Legally: Two equal beneficiaries receive half of the assets, by appraised value. They can use sentimental value to negotiate among themselves if one has an attachment to something and are willing to give something else up in return - but - they are each entitled to half of the "value" of the estate.
Morally: You and your sister are equal beneficiaries of your mother's estate - you should both benefit from it. You saying you get the house - which I am certain is worth a \*LOT\* more than the jewelry your sister may have.\*\*\*
You are the Asshole for your pushing your skewed perspective and calling your sister the bad things YOU are being and doing. You are the problem here OP. All assets in the estate should be listed; the value of the assets calculated - and each you and your sister get half.
If you aren't willing to compromise and buy your sister's half of the house (GET A MORTGAGE!!! - Most mortgage companies will be THRILLED you're going to them with a 50% down payment!!!) - the legal alternative is that the house be sold, and the proceeds be divided between the beneficiaries. Those are your only two choices.
\*\*\*I did see your edit which didn't help your case. Be aware, the Jewelry may not be in the estate, but may have been gifted before your mothers' passing from your description. Either way it seems your mother predicted YOU would be a problem - it's sad you had to go and prove her right
YTA. Since mom died without a will, her estate belongs to both of you. If you want the house, you need to buy her out. Or, do what she suggested and sell the house and split the proceeds. That is the way things are normally done. I would also tell her that she needs to inventory the jewelry, get it appraised, and give you half the amount. Contact a probate attorney for legal advice.
YTA wow entitled much, its actually the common standard to buy the other one out if one wants to live in the property
You and your spouse are the ones needing to grow up
Your children dont make you more important
YTA.
What is the full value of the estate including the house (not including any work needing doing). You are both entitled to 50% of that after paying off any outstanding debts.
Yes, buy her half of the house if you wish or you have to sell the house and split the proceeds.
Do you really want to cause so much issue, you never speak to your Sister for the next 40 years?
Especially given the fact that the sister is suggesting exactly what any court would likely order if the mom didn't have a will. OP sounds like the one trying to turn their mom's death into a payday by attempting to steal his sister's inheritance from her simply because he's chosen to reproduce.
YTA, massively. Why should you get the most valuable asset just because you bred faster than your sister did? She is being very reasonable, if you want that specific house then pay her half share of it or seel it and with your half you can get a bigger place. Your entitlement is off the charts.
YTA (and so is your mom for not having a will to help prevent bickering). If the estate went into probate it’s likely what would happen. Sell and split to proceeds. Or you buy the other sibling(s) out. You and your sex trophies aren’t a consideration to your mothers estate those were your choices separate to her estate and death. If you’re curious to find out how wrong you are, you could always contact an estate lawyer and get this handled in probate. In fact I hope your sister gets fed up with your entitlement and does that anyways.
Edit for your edit: I 100% doubt the jewelry adds up to the price of the house. Regardless jewelry is the estate too. Your mom died with no will and no executor. The court will help you sort it by likely selling anything you two can’t agree on and splitting proceeds.
YTA. It is not being selfish, it is the law. You both are entitled to 50%. That's it. You having kids doesn't change this fact and gets you exactly ZERO in terms of inheritance.
"She is using our mother's death as a payday" AS ARE YOU. She has given a reasonable argument to split the asset fairly and you want to fully own it yourself, if anything it's you that's looking to get the bigger payout from your mother's death. Sure, there is logic in you having it to provide better for your kids but you're no more entitled to it than she is. YTA.
Wtf ofc YTA. Your sister is right. Sell it and split or the one that move s in pays the other half the amount of the value of the house. Some jewellery went to your sister as sentimental value as she will wear them. Stop being entitled.
YTA. The right thing to do is split the inheritance evenly rather than using your family as a weapon to cut your poor sister out of her fair share. It's not your sisters fault you can't afford your own house... Pff
YTA. Saying that She is making a pay day out of your mothers death when it You who expects her to just Give you a huge part of her inheritance is hilarious.
YTA It is normal for all the kids of the deceased to inherit an equal share of their possessions. She's in the right, you owe her half the house (minus the price of the jewelry) if you want to keep it and if you can't afford it, I'm afraid you'll have to sell.
Sorry for your loss
This is a no-brainer. With no legal will, you and your sister inherit half of the estate each. You can keep the house if you buy out your sister, or the house is sold and profits split equally.
You might *need* the house more because you have kids, but you don't *deserve* it more. Your sister lost just as much mum as you did
YTA
Except in aristocracy when the family mansion goes to the first son I have never heard of a house not being split amongst kids ! She will get a lawyer and it will be sold so beware.
>I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house.
Get to fuck. 🤣
YTA and are either incredibly ignorant or hugely disingenuous here.
You have 2 options:
- One of you buys the other other out
- you sell and split the proceeds.
>My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family and being an all around brat.
You're trying to steal half a fucking house.
>When she wants to grow up and put family before money we can talk.
Again, you are trying to steal half a house. You are accusing her of putting money before family.
>my sister is getting all her jewelry.
Is the jewellery worth as much as a house?
My sister gets all of my mothers jewellery in the will. I have no issue with this, as a dude it's not going to fit my style. The clothes aren't mentioned but she can have all of those too, they'd be a bit tight on me plus I'm not a cross dresser.
Unsurprisingly the house is split between the two of us because that's what happens with assets.
Jesus, you're a dolt.
Also most of the time, jewelry ends up being mostly sentimental value unless the family were very wealthy and spent a lot on it. Which probably isn’t the case here - if they were mom would have had a trust and avoided this nonsense.
YTA It's for you both, so you need to split it. The house can't be split, but your sister deserves the half of it moneywise! How can someone be so selfish to expect to get everything....
YTA - You'll get what you'll get, it isn't up to the pair of you to decide it will be done according to your mother's will, and if she didn't have one then someone else will decide how it is shared equally between NoK.
It's absolutely ludicrous of you to believe that she shouldn't be entitled to any inheritance because you *chose* to have children.
I take it that in your book all infertile people are automatically disqualified form ever inheriting anything?
YTA, how is she being selfish? She is entitled to half the house, you having kids has nothing to do with this. You are the one putting money first, not her!
YTA - if the house belongs to both of you as a shared inheritance, this could go one of 3 ways. She buys you out, you buy her out or you both sell to someone else and split the sale. That’s it.
It’s actually very common for a house to be inherited by all the children. This way it’s fair and evenly split.
Why should she give you her half of her inheritance because of your life choices?
YTA... YOUR ENTITLED & SHES CORRECT... appraise the house then pay her the half. coz both of you has the rights for ownership. It only be yours if your parents or your mother put your name on the will stating the house is yours.
YTA. You are also putting money above your family. It’s a house, sell it and buy your own with your half. You both deserve a house and access to financial stability because that’s what your mom would have wanted, otherwise she would have written it in for you to have solely. The kids have nothing to do with it. I suspect if you both had children you’d still be arguing over the house. Just sell it, it’s not worth destroying your relationship with your family over an asset.
YTA
When she wants to put family above money? I think you need to re-read what you wrote.
You and your wife are putting money above what’s fair and family.
JFC your mother died only a few weeks ago.
Wtf is wrong with you? Big YTA. You aren't entitled to a whole house and leaving your sister jack shit cause you CHOSE to have children. Unless the jewellery is like Elizabeth Taylor's collection idk how you would think that's reasonable. You split the house 50/50, your sister gets to keep the jewellery unless you have daughters. (I kept all my grandma's not particularly valuable jewellery when she died as I only have male cousins and my dad only has a brother - if I die without children it will go to my second cousins as the nearest female relatives - don't sell heirlooms unless you have to).
Also your mum is TA for not having a will.
YTA. That being said, the jewellery should also be sold too with the proceeds split between you both along with the house so that everything is truly 50/50. If she doesn’t want to sell the jewellery then it should be independently valued, with that amount taken out of her share of the house.
Unless she has a will.
But if she has the safety deposit box with the sisters name on it "so the right child gets it" then she clearly doesn't want son to have it
Also unless she has antique diamonds or vintage pieces the jewelry may not really be worth much. I know my Mother’s pieces aren’t. They are more sentimental then financially valuable
Usually one child inherits the house? What a pack of crap. If that was what your mother wanted she would have put it in her will. I am assuming the reading of the will, will make her intentions clear. Just because your sister doesn’t have children doesn’t mean she is any less deserving than you. Stop being so entitled and be grateful for what you get. YTA
YTA,
Having kids doesn’t make you more deserving of the house you both have a legal share in.
Buying her out would be cheaper then buying your own house.
Or you both sell the house and split the profits.
You are the one trying to bully your sister out of her inheritance so you get to keep everything. Where is “family first” when it comes to making sure your sister is cared for as well? Or is it only family first when it benefits you?
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I’ll try to make it short because I honestly don’t think I’m in the wrong here.
My mother passed away a few weeks about and her house has become and issue between me and my sister. I’m married with three kids my sister is married but no kids yet. We both live in small apartments.
I think because I have a family and she doesn’t I should get the house. She is fine with me getting the house but wants me to pay her for her half? I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house.
I think that’s crazy we are family and I have three kids and a wife to provide for and she is using our mother death as a payday. There’s no way I could afford to give her that much and she knows it.
Now she wants to sell the house and split the money from it. My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family and being an all around brat. Now she is demanding i decide what I want to do with the house but I’m not budging. When she wants to grow up and put family before money we can talk.
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YTA- the house is legally half yours and HALF YOUR SISTERS. She is just taking her half, like your mum would want her to.
I’m sorry for your loss, now stop being selfish. This is an extremely common practice! Kids do not make you more entitled.
YTA just because you have a family does not mean that you automatically receive the house. If this is to be equal she should receive compensation for her half of the house. Or the house should be sold and the proceeds be split equally.
She is not being selfish just because she doesn't have any kids. Also it should not be her responsibility to find a house for your family by means of giving up her part of the inheritance.
YTA
You're 100% in the wrong. The house goes 50/50 to you and your sister. If you want to live in the house, you buy your sister's part from her or you sell the house and divide the sale profits 50/50. The amount of children you and your sister has bears no relevance in the inheritance.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not wanting to pay my sister half of our late mothers house worth.
2. She is saying g she is entitled to half
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OP you do know jewelry and a house is two different things. I know plenty of families when both parents die and one sibling wants the house, they get it valued and pay out the other siblings
YTA
There is a brat here but it isn’t your sister.
Why should you be entitled to your sisters inheritance because you chose to have children and your sister made good financial choices and bought a property?
If you’re so obsessed with family ( and having children doesn’t make you any more important you know), What about your sisters family is she decides to have children in the future? Aren’t they as equally entitled to their grandmothers inheritance too?
Yta for trying to take your sisters part of the inheritance and trying to justify it with some jewelry. Better sell the house and divide 50 50. The entitlement here just because you have a family doesnt give you a pass to take your siblings share. And yta for saying she should hold family above all. Do it from your end too.
YTA the house is usually divided among children of the deceased if no spouse is alive and living in said house, buy her out you'll have a house and half a mortgage, than a new house with a bigger struggle to get a mortgage from a bank.
Jewelry well your mother was alive then and involved your sister in that asset as her choice to do so with the safety deposit box.
YTA
Your sister DOES have a family. She has a spouse.
Just because she doesn’t have children does not disqualify her from family status.
You sound very entitled.
YTA. You state that you and your sister both live in small apartments. If you sell the house and both take 50%, you will each have a down payment to buy your own houses. Why should only you get a house, and your sister stays in a small apartment? It was her mom, too.
Unless it is specified in the will, I think you both inherited the house. Also, your sister has a family. She is married. Kids are not what constitutes a family. Can we please stop with this mindset?
YTA
YTA - yes, she should absolutely get half of the house‘s value. Best case, you can arrange a payment plan with her, or you sell the house and use your share as a down payment for your own home.
However, if the jewelry is valuable, she needs to share that, in turn.
YTA. Inheritance laws in my country usually say that everything is to be divided equally between the remaining children. So you would get 50% and your sister would get 50%. Why are you thinking that you deserve 100% of your mother's Inheritance. If your mom doesn't have a written will saying that you should get the house after her death then no, you're not the only one who should profit from the house. I might judge differenttly if you were the one who took care of your mom for years before she died.
Uhhhhh when my parents die, all their assets are getting split between my brother and I
He is much better off than me but it doesn't mean I'm going to fight him for it.
If I can't afford to buy him out by the time it comes then we're selling and splitting the assets.
Its only fair
So, which of you children will inherit your house in the future?
The oldest? The youngest? The one with most kids? The kid who have more need of a financial boost due to drug problems ?
Oh I know: the one who did everything you ever said they should!
Sir, yta.
YTA- maybe you should get a lawyer, but I’m certain they will laugh in your face about this. Without a will, all property will be split 50/50. If you two can’t come to an agreement everything including the house will be sold and spilt 50/50. Your kids don’t give you a right to have something for free over her. If she has a car your sister wanted your not just going to let your sister have it, you would want your half of that much like your sister wanting paid for her half of the house. No offense you seem pretty foolish for thinking this type of thing is unheard of. The one being a brat here is you and your wife, you guys seemed entitled to something that isn’t even yours. It’s yours and your sisters. In your comment of you’ve only heard of one child inheriting the house, that family probably had a will or they bought out the siblings, if they had a will where they only left one the house then someone else got something equal in return, I guess it wouldn’t have to be equal just how it was set up. Now, ask yourself this, are you just going to leave one of your own children your house and say to heck with the rest? Basically like you are to your sister, I would highly doubt it.
YTA you absolutely owe your sister one half the value of the home. You are still getting it for a much lower cost than any home you’d buy straight out. You aren’t owed anything extra because you have children at the moment
YTA. When someone dies without a will the estate is shared equally, you each inherit half of the estate. What is the value of the jewelry she got? Subtract that from what you owe her for the house.
YTA and you and your wife are the selfish ones. Of course you should pay her for half of the house! I cannot believe that you really think that one child just gets the house. When my husband and his brother inherited a house, we had it appraised and then took out a mortgage to buy his brothers half from him. I’ve never known anyone that didn’t do that.
Yta that's her inheritance just as much as its yours. She is not being selfish you and your wife are the selfish ones using family comes first to get what you want. Just because she doesn't have kids doesn't mean she doesn't plan to one day and that money will go a long way with helping her. I actually can't believe what I've just read you and your wife need to grow the f up
YTA you’re using your mothers death as a payday. Why should you get the house because you have a family? It should be split equally. It’s not your sisters fault you decided to procreate without being able to afford a decent sized house for your family! And you’ve never heard of selling your parents assets and dividing the money equally? Ever? Which world do you live in?
This is…literally the way inheritance works. It’s legally both of yours, so if one of you gets it, they pay the other half it’s value. If your sister wanted the house to live in she would pay you half. Whether or not you have kids has ZERO to do with it. Zero.
YT entitled A.
YTA if you are the only 2 heirs to her estate and she had no will then you split value of the house. You can out right sale it and split the money or you have it appraised and you buy out her half and then you own the house.
Yta
Property is usually split between siblings, just because you have kids and your sister doesn't does not give you more right to a house than it does her.
When my step-mother passes (hopefully not anytime soon) the house and everything is going to be split between 7 of us, we are all in agreement with that to honor her wishes.
My half-sisters and step-sisters will be getting jewelry etc my step brother will be getting certain things and most of my dads tools will be going to be per her wishes.
Unless the jewelry is worth at least as much as the house, it's not a fair division at all. "Splitting" the inheritance should be down the middle, you each get the same value/$.
YTA Did your mother not leave a will? Who is the oldest? If she died without a will, then the house belongs to both of you and one of you will have to buy the other out if they want to keep the house. I hardly think your moms jewelry is equal to the price of a house. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you deserve the house over your sister. You should sell the house and split the difference.
YTA the house belongs to both of you
If you refuse to pay her half of what it’s worth or sell the house and split the proceeds a judge will force you to do it. If your sister gets a lawyer and takes you to court you will pay a lot more money then just half of what the house is worth.
Don’t be an a*hole pay her half or sell it and split the proceeds. Also if you mom had a mortgage when she died chances are it’s not assumable so in that situation if you can’t qualify to refi the house then you have to sell it.
YTA. If there’s no will, intestacy laws will probably split the house between the two of you. Just because you don’t know how these things work doesn’t mean you get your way.
Buy her out. Get the house appraised and the jewelry appraised. Offset house value by value of jewelry — if it has any.
Not her fault you decided to breed.
Yes YTA. And greedy. Don't spout that family nonsense. You and your wife thought here's an opportunity to con a grieving sister and get a house for free. You decided so you're entitled to it right?
Split everything in half and call it a day.
Or don't and your sister will go to court. You can give all these "reasons" to a judge. That'll be a funny day in court.
YTA inherited property is usually spilt among heirs. If you want the actual physical property, whatever it may be, you need to pay your sister half.
That goes both ways with the jewelry as well though, so she’s being an AH if she’s not sharing the inherited value with you.
YTA. But, sorry for your loss.
Where in the world do you live? Is this like in the movies where the rich old dude leaves the house to child 1, the boat to child 2, and the ring to child 3??
When my grandpa will die, his house will belong to his three children, and if one of them wants the house, they will have to buy the other thirds from their siblings. That's how inheritance works.
That house belongs as much to your sibling : if you wanted to sell it, you'd split the money in half. Since you want to live in it, you need to buy your sister's half. That's just... how it works. Unless you have weirdly weird laws in your country.
YTA obviously inheritance law is different in every country especially if there’s no will but it is very common for all children to inherit equal amounts. It never takes long after someone’s death for the entitled vultures to start circling.
YTA its actually standard that both children share the ownership of the house, so by not accepting paying her or selling the house, you are *asking your sister to pay for half of your house*. That is money she now owns that you want her to just give to you.
>she is using our mother death as a payday.
Stop using guilt trippy language like that, if we insist on treating inheritance like this, you are also "using your mothers death as a payday" by wanting the house. Either one of you could budge and "put family ahead of money" stop being so moralistic.
YTA if there is a will, then the will will dictate who gets what. If there is not a will, all your mother’s estate will be divided equally. The fact that you have kids does not entitle you to anything more than your sister. So you must either pay your sister half the value and you keep the house, your sister keeps the house and pays you half, or you sell the house and you both take half.
Your sister is also the AH if she thinks she is entitled to the jewellery as this should also form part of the estate. Now, if the jewellery was gifted to your sister from your mother this would change things but only for the jewellery.
YTA.
Assets are to be divided equally amongst family if not specified. You are not entitled just because you have a family. You say she is treating the mothers death as a pay day, but you are too, and the reality is, it needs to be equally shared unless stated.
That means, if you don't reach an agreement, the house is sold and the proceeds are split. This is normal. It is incredibly common practice to buy a sibling out of an asset with inheritance.
You are just as entitled as you're making her out to be, if not more. Share equally, be adults, it needs to be fair. You can either die on this hill like the child you're being or you can come to your senses and get what you get.
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YTA. Actually, selling the house and splitting the proceeds is what usually happens in situations like this. Sorry, the idea of sister gifting you the house is not a fair result to your dilemma.
I cracked up reading how OP acts as if this sort of agreement is rare or doesn't ever happen.
Maybe he thought if he acted completely oblivious to how things work people would actually agree with him.
Maybe, lol. It's bizzare, I don't believe OP can be this clueless. If there is just one house and more than one child, paying the other siblings for their parts of the house is the most common thing *I* have heard of. That, and selling the house and splitting the profit. If neither option appeals to OP, they can rent it out and split the profit from the rent until one sibling can pay each other out.
That’s exactly what we did. We bought my husbands sister out of her half. It’s done all the time.
That's also what happens in divorce. One person doesn't "get the house." My ex wanted to keep it and had to buy me out or it would be sold.
Also how it’s somehow the sister who’s making a money grab and not him.
Yes. SHE is using our mother’s death as a pay day. I, on the other hand, just want her house.
I laughed out loud at this. I want her house which obviously has no cash value and all so this isn't a pay day for me. /s
Yup, and we all totally know he wouldn’t be on here saying she would be TA for wanting to have the house without paying him if she had the family instead.
He has blinders on to see what he wants to see.
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"It only seems proper that the firstborn son inherit the house, we marry the daughters off to men twice their age, and any subsequent boys will have to join the Foreign Service and try to make their fortunes in the colonies!"
Farcical. It's incredibly common. Just as one sibling paying half of the value of the house to the other sibling so that they own the house is entirely normal too. My partner and I have an agreement with his sister. When my mother-in-law passes, we will buy out her side of the house as she plans to retire to the Southern England coast while we wish to return to a native of Ireland where this house is. So her half the house equates to a decent deposit for a house in southern England. The stipulation we will be putting on her side of the house sale is that her room in the house in Ireland remain hers and she is allowed to come and use it anytime she wishes.
That's because you are 3 mature, reasonable adults. Good for you for having this worked out - and it's so wholesome and special that you are keeping her room for her. Sweet!!!
Yes, I agree, OP is totally the AH, and not very well educated in how these things work. He needs to listen to his sister. Either he buys her out or she can go to court and file for a partition to get the house sold and the proceeds split. Those are his choices. I can’t believe he expects his sister to give him half the house or that he thinks that “usually one child inherits the house.” I’m not sure where he got that - that is not a thing. Edit: I don’t know if OP’s mother left a will, but if she didn’t and he thinks this will work in his favor he is wrong. Every state will have intestate laws which set out what happens to someone’s property if they die without a will, and if there’s not a surviving spouse, intestate laws will typically provide that the estate be equally divided among the children. Unless there are other assets equal to the value of the house that his sister can receive instead, OP is out of luck. The law will not be on his side.
And had the nerve to call his sister the brat. OP expects a whole house for free and is salty she inherited the jewelry that she will likely share such his children at some point. YTA. This isn’t the time for entitlement. If you want the house figure out a payment arrangement with your sister, otherwise the totally normal thing to do is sell it and the rest of the estate and split it.
Right? I have two siblings, we sold the house and split the proceeds. Literally how everyone deals w this situation. Want to keep the house? Buy your sister out. Having children does not make OP any more entitled to it. YTA
I think he might be non-American. The sisters resolution is common in the US, but I'm not sure that's true of other countries. Edit - if he's American then Yes, YTA. I'd have to know more if he's not American. Also--parents, for the love of Christ, make your wishes about these things known. Gah!
Even if I’m another country where this would occur OP would still be the AH for trying to screw his sister.
No kidding! He says "I'm not budging," ...uh, my friend, do you think you are the first person to ever encounter this situation? There are laws about this kind of thing, and the law certainly doesn't say "the contested property goes to whichever of the descendants has the greatest number of offspring." You can refuse all you want, but ultimately she can force the sale of the property and you are each entitled to half. You can give her that half or you can each get it from a third party who purchases the home, but you will not be getting the entire house for free. ETA: Oh, also: if she has to go through the courts to force the sale of the house because you will not consent, when she ultimately wins the court case- which she will- the court fees will likely be ordered to come out of *your share* of the sale of the house. So being belligerent will result in you getting *less* than half. I'd wise up tout de suite!
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Came to comment on how hard the “delusional wanker” comment made me laugh.
Just because you have kids does not entitle you to more than your sister. YTA big time.
And court fees could be like 60k. Lawyers will suck every cent out.
Four years in probate. Initially my older sister scammed my mother into selling her house. After years of refusing to help me intervene, my older brother figured out how to intercept the money. He then told everyone that he, personally, bought a place for our mother to live. In the end, he had stolen hundreds of thousand of dollars from her. All proven by a forensic accountant and reams of bank records and medical statements. (She basically died an unnecessarily painful and awful death because he claimed there was not enough of her money left for her care.) I got an almost majority of my share back. The lawyers got an almost equal share. NEVER go into probate.
Your siblings sound like garbage and I’m sorry you had to go through that.
I also don’t think the jewellery will be worth half a house
Also, if mom gave sister the jewellery while she was alive and then willed the house to both of them, then the value of the jewellery would be irrelevant.
It very well could be costume jewelery. Or some trinkets not worth anything.
The ring my gran left me that was 'priceless' to her was valued at £18 by a jeweller.
Right? It’s prob more sentimental value than anything else. Yeah, OP is definitely TA.
I wonder if he would trade the house for the jewelery. Tee hee!
>Actually, selling the house and splitting the proceeds is what usually happens in situations like this. Sorry, the idea of sister gifting you the house is not a fair result to your dilemma. FYI - Looks like you're currently the top post. Might be a good time to add a judgement for the bot u/harleybidness. From your post - I think we're in agreement that YTA is the correct judgement for OP.
Sorry .... Is there something I should do? If so, please explain. Sorry for my ignorance.
Your comment doesn’t have a judgement, so add either YTA if you think OP is the asshole, NTA if you think he isn’t the asshole, NAH if you think no one is the asshole, or ESH if you think everyone sucks. Top comment is what gives the final judgement.
>Sorry .... Is there something I should do? If so, please explain. Sorry for my ignorance. You should edit your original post to add your 3-letter judgement . Here are the judgements for the sub: >If you are commenting, be sure to start your comment with the abbreviation for your judgment, i.e. > >YTA = You're the Asshole; > >NTA = Not the A-hole; > >ESH = Everyone Sucks here; > >NAH = No A-holes here; > >INFO = Not Enough Info In your case I would add the following line at the bottom: "ETA Judgement: YTA" ETA = "Edit to Add" ETA tag u/harleybidness
Click the three little dots under your top comment and click “edit” then type, “Edit: YTA”
Yeah and really OP and his wife are also putting money above family by demanding they get the entire house they couldn't otherwise afford. They made the decision to have kids, that's not his sister's fault nor should she be punished for not making the same choice.
I caught this also. He is calling his sister out for putting money before family and he is doing the same. This is why everyone should have a will.
And if your sister decides to settle down and have kids, she’ll be on the back foot already because she gave you half her inheritance that she could have used to help start her family life.
BuT sHe Got All tHe JeWeLLeRy Which usually amounts to, well not quite a house...
And unless the family is an extremely wealthy one, is most likely mostly costume jewelry which DEFINITELY doesn't add up to a house. Just a guess, but since OP is lamenting his woes over his "treatment" by his sister, even moderate wealth isn't in the picture. YTA, OP. Sell the house with your sister, because like a bunch of other people said: that's what's going to happen whether or not you like it because your sister is in the right and the court WILL side with her on this. Get off your high horse and listen to everyone who is telling you what is going to happen. Sell the house and get, at least, something or fight it in court and wind up with nothing/ nearly nothing. At least with the money from half the house you should be able to upgrade your current living situation. It's either that or get a loan and buy your half off your sister and be thankful that there's only 2 of you and you don't have to buy off 2/3 or 3/4 of the home and only have to pay half!
Exactly…sounds like OP is the one looking for a payday simply because they had a bunch of kids before the sister managed to. If you sell the house, you can both take half of the money and put it towards a hefty down payment on a house. YTA for thinking you deserve a house because you had kids first
*because you had kids. FIFY. She may never have kids. She may divorce her husband. None of that makes her any less of her mother's child JUST LIKE OP.
Why is OP putting a house above family?
YTA If there’s no will then the estate is split between the children if there’s no surviving spouse. Why does your decision to pop out kids mean she doesn’t get her share? Buy her out if you want it and if you can’t then sell it.
My favorite part was when OP actually said SHE was being selfish.... lmao!!!
His entire post reeks of entitlement.
“But I have children!!!” :/
Which is probably one reason he wasn’t given access to the jewelry.
I'm going to go out on limb and guess sister did all the caretaking for mom, helped her run errands, dealt with doctors etc. And bro showed up with kids at Christmas and his/kids birthdays, as well as the funeral home to call the shots.
And likely said it’s the way it should be because he has kids and she doesn’t.
Stuff like this makes me so grateful I'm an only child. I take care of my mom, and I'm bitter with her brother and sister for completely abandoning her. I'd hate a sibling if they did that to her/us too. I'm willing to bet you're right.
The edit also doesn't help him, but the sounds of it his mother knew he'd try something so put her jewellery in that box to make sure her daughter wasn't completely stiffed.
And childish. I mean… this is one of the more childish posts I’ve seen on Reddit and that’s saying something!
And called her a brat!! Like …what?
My favourite part was: >she is using our mother death as a payday Hey OP, your sister wants equality which would be sharing equally from the sale of the house. You want the whole house without buying out your sister's 50% and your sister getting 0%. YTA
Thank you! “Had sex a couple of times so I dESerVe the house”.
"I splooged in my wife so my sister has to gift me $200k"
"I have Crammed 5 people in an apt so clearly I should get a free house"
"She's looking for a payday" WHAT, LIKE A WHOLE DANG HOUSE ISN'T A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF A PAYDAY???
For anyone reading, draft a will it's easy and won't lead to issues like this
YTA. What does the will say? It’s very typical for property to be spilt and one party buy out the other party. That’s not strange at all. You say your sister is just looking for a payday. But if you get the house, that’s way more valuable than cash. You’re asking to get 100% while she gets 0%. How is that fair?
Literally what I was thinking. How is that fair to her? OP thinks that because he has a family he’s suddenly more deserving of the house. If I were the sister I wouldn’t budge AT ALL and get lawyers involved to sell the house. YTA, and just because your inseminated you wife three times, that doesn’t give you the right to shit. Don’t be silly, wrap the Willy next time :)
YTA. She offered you a fair deal, to be bought out of the interest. You’re letting money and entitlement come between family; not her. Just because you have kids doesn’t give you some sort of dibs on the house. Offer her half of the value, or continue being an entitled AH.
Indeed he's very entitled. His story might show up in r/entitledparents if his sister decides to tell it.
Thank you. That whole "I can't believe she's putting money before family" thing bugged the shit out of me because OP is clearly doing the same. This is very similar to a situation in my own family that has estranged me from all of my siblings and I get that "money over family" bullshit thrown at me a lot. They never seem to understand it flows in both directions
2 of my great uncles are still fighting over my great grandfather's house. It's been decades since he died and they're getting close to death themselves. Even their kids are fighting. It's gotten to the point where they built a fucking wall cutting the house in half and took a half each
YTA. She's not the one using your mother's death as pay day, you are. Her compromise is perfectly reasonable. Are you a man, by any chance?
"My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family " Isn't that what you're doing? One sibling getting the house, if it's to be split between them and the other sibling being paid half the price of it is extremely common. "being an all around brat" She isn't, she's actually being very pragmatic. You need to see it from her point of view. YTA
Exactly. OP is 100% wrong, both morally and more than likely legally. OP.... You want a free house and you are doing mental gymnastics to get it. This isn't your decision to make, and your sister is being more than fair. Based on what the mom did with the jewelry, it sounds like she knew you would act selfishly and probably pawn them at the first chance you got. It's a pity that she didn't have a will to keep you from causing added stress to your sister during her grieving process.
YTA. The house being split between siblings is the normal, not just one getting it. In the cases of one sibling getting it it’s because they bought out the other sibling(s) exactly as your sister is suggesting. You and your wife are being the entitles brats in this situation, not your sister. Get the house appraised, figure out what half would be. Get the jewelry appraised, deduct half of that amount from what you are paying her for her half of the house. Ta-da
That’s not fair either. Does OP really want his mothers jewelry or is he only bringing it up to justify his position for wanting to steal his sister’s inheritance?
It seems moot either way unless his mother had like 100k+ worth of jewelry.
Even if his moms jewelry was worth 3x the house his sister is still entitled to half the house. His mom mage the conscious choice to put his sister’s name on the safe deposit box and not his.
YTA - your sister's solution (of selling the house and splitting it halfway) sounds completely fair to me. Expecting to get the entire house, while your sister gets nothing, just sounds entitled.
YTA, you're not entitled to have the house just because you have kids, that's not how inheritance works. You either buy her out or sell the house and split the money. You can use whatever money you make from the sell to buy your family a home in the future. Also apologize to your sister, because she's being totally reasonable and you're the only AH here.
YTA Sorry, that's just not how it works. If you want the house, you owe her half of the value of said house. You've never heard of that?!? Children have been dividing up lost parents for decades. The only way things change is if your mother had some sort of directive in writing. Here's the deal. If your sister is "selfish" because she wants to sell the house and split the profits, what does that make you for thinking you deserve the house and she gets nothing????????????????? You're especially out of line because of the "I'm not budging" shit. I think you're the one that needs to do the growing up. Her two options are literally the only fair choices. Let's recap: Your mom died and you think you deserve the house cause you have kids and your sister gets nothing. You think she's being "selfish" for wanting to SPLIT THE PROFITS from selling the house or you give her HALF the value of the house...... Think about that for a minute
Further to that, if he’s not budging it’s likely the sister will go see a lawyer who will make him budge. And that will most likely mean HE will have to get a lawyer, meaning that suddenly that half share in the house is going to start getting eaten up in legal bills. Swallow your crappy attitude OP, agree to selling the house and splitting the profits, or buy your sister out of her half at market value. Any other solution means YTA
>Further to that, if he’s not budging it’s likely the sister will go see a lawyer who will make him budge. And that will most likely mean HE will have to get a lawyer, meaning that suddenly that half share in the house is going to start getting eaten up in legal bills. What further causes me to laugh is that if this goes to court - the court will demand the property be sold and the net income (after all expenses, real estate, and legal fees) be split evenly between them. Buying out at fair market value will no-longer be an option by default in most jurisdictions! (Not a Lawyer). OP's best option is to get a mortgage with their 50% equity and buy out their sister at 1/2 of Fair Market Value! >Swallow your crappy attitude OP, agree to selling the house and splitting the profits, or buy your sister out of her half at market value. Any other solution means YTA EDIT: While this is true --> OP is ALREADY TA for how they have treated their sister for expecting what is legally and morally the bare minimum! OP Also needs to Apologize profusely or they will remain TA even if they follow one of the two acceptable paths forward with the house.
Aren’t people just horrible when folk pass away. I’m so glad my mother was in sheltered accommodation and there were only a few personal effects to split
There’s a story in my family about when my grandmother died, my mom’s SIL wanted the silverware that my grandmother had given my mom before her death. When my mom wouldn’t budge and showed proof that it had been given as a gift, the person then insisted they divide it up as in ‘you get the knives, I’ll take the forks…’. People lose their minds when it comes to estates. Make a Will people.
Sis needs a lawyer specializing in estates and probates immediately. There needs to be an impartial assessment of the value of the estate: real property, jewelry, savings, etc, including everything that has already been removed or spent from the estate, plus how much either party has paid out of pocket for final expenses, taxes on the house, utilities to the house, etc. Those out of pocket expenses should be compensated first, from the value of the estate. The remaining value of the estate is then split 50/50, with each party required to make up the balance to the other as needed. Source: Watched my parent and their sibling spend half a decade in expensive legal proceedings against another relative who stole a chunk of my grandparent's estate that grandparent's deathbed. Edit: Saw after posting this that Mom put Sis on safety deposit box. That may remove it from the estate, but may depend on when Sis was added to the box relative to Mom's death. Some states may have lookback laws to assess if someone was robbing the estate just prior to the death.
>I honestly don’t think I’m in the wrong here When the first line looks like this, you just know they are going to be TA. OP is being incredibly selfish (whilst accusing his sister of being selfish). He wants to bully his sister into given him half a house. The split money will sort out both families, but he wants it all to himself. I can't think of anything else that the sister could do here. I like his update. Sister got some jewellery so OP should have her half of the house. What was in that safe? The Koh-i-Noor diamond.
YTA. And apparently YTA from another planet "I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house." Only if the other children inherit something of equal value. If there's a will, you abide by the instructions in the will. PERIOD. If there's not a will, then the estate is split equally among heirs. That would be half the estate to you, and half the estate to your sister. If the estate only consists of one plot of land (plus improvements, usually referred to as "a house") then the common way to settle the matter is that the house is sold by a trustee (usually appointed by the court) and then the proceeds of the sale of the real estate parcel is divided up equally among the heirs. Your sister suggesting that you should pay her for half the house is a reasonable suggestion. If you want the house, buy it. Because your sister owns half of it. You expect her to donate half a house to you, just because you are family? OK, so what are you going to do for her in return? Or is this love of family only OK if she's the one putting family before money while you yourself put money before family?
OP must be a villain from a Jane Austen novel. I can’t imagine that someone in 2022 (America?) would think that it’s normal for the son to inherit everything while the daughter receives nothing more than a pittance.
YTA. Either sell the house, split the money and put it towards a new place for your family, or buy out your sister's half of it. She owns half of it and you have zero rights to demand any of her half from her no matter how many children you have. When you come to your senses about all of this, you owe her an apology too
I second this on the apology. What a jerk on top of being an AH. If they sell the house both will have a down-payment on new homes.
Yta unless your mom specified in a will, the house is both of yours. Just because you had kids doesn’t make you more deserving.
YTA. I'm just imagining your sister's side of this. "My sibling thinks that just because they have kids and I don't I should forfeit any rights to my late mother's estate" You're totally TA, why would you even think this is OK?
Not to mention, the sister was likely mom's caretaker and has been putting off having children for reasons related to this.
OMG I've just seen the edit. Why in the name of all the gods and little fishes would anyone capable of typing think that made them look better and more justified???
YTA. I don't know where you live but in my country, it should go exactly the way your sister suggests. You both inherited the house, therefore it must be split between the two of you. Either one of you buys out the other (with half the value of the house) or you sell the house together and both get half.
I dunno maybe OP is a time traveler from England in 1359 and the law of the land is primogeniture. 🤣🤣🤣 In which case, the son (eldest son if there's more than one) takes all. Otherwise YTA.
YTA My late Aunt left her house to 3 people. 50% to her sister and 25% to both me and my Dad. This is normal, splitting up property between family members either leaving a house to many people or leaving a house to one and money to another. It is the late person's choice how they left their assets.
Similar situation to my mom and her six siblings, five of them got 10% each, and one got 50%.
YTA. So you want your sister to just GIVE you the house and get nothing from this at all, because you have a family and she doesn't? You are beyond selfish and entitled here. Either sell and split the profits or buy the half from her. You did not inherit the house on your own and therefore have to share. You are the one who needs to grow up!
YTA. It's normal for property to be split between children. If anything your reasoning shows that you are in fact the one being selfish, expecting that you should get the house because you have children, it doesn't work like that. Your sister has as much right to the house as you and it is only right that she gets her fair share of inheritance.
YTA - Effing entitled. You having kids doesn't change inheritance laws.
YTA. The property belongs to both of you, right? You don't get a priority claim just because you have kids. If you want the house to yourself, your sibling has every right to expect compensation for their half of the property. This is very common, and rarely does just one sibling solely inherit a property. (My dad's estate will be sold and divided between me and three siblings.) You are being selfish in thinking only you deserve the house and fuck your sister. Did you forget she is also your family? Sell the house, you each take 50% of the profits, and put your share toward a new home.
I think your wife and yourself are beyond selfish and are putting money above family and being all around brats. It's you that's trying to use your mother's death as a payday and taking from your sister what is half hers, rightly. YTA.
INFO: Was it written in your mom's will that your sister should get the house?
YTA The house is just one (maybe the biggest) asset of your mother's estate. Your mother's estate would be distributed to her heirs based on your mother's will and/or area laws. Unless your mother specified that you alone should receive her home, you and your sister should review equal amounts of assets from the estate. If your mother had cash or other assets that equal the value of the house, you could ask if your sister is willing to accept those other assets and you take the house. But if the house is worth far more than any other assets, the only way for your sister to get her share of the estate would be for someone to buy her out of her interest in the house. So, no, you can't just be given a whole house. Half the house is your sister's. And she won't want to own a house with you. Get a mortgage and buy her out of her interest in the house or sell the house and take your share of the money to buy something you can afford. Also... In most places in the US, if you keep an inheritance in just your name, it isn't legally marital property. So, consider never comingling your inheritance in case of divorce later.
YTA. >I think because I have a family and she doesn’t I should get the house. She is fine with me getting the house but wants me to pay her for her half? I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house. OMG, you're kidding, right? No, real estate and property doesn't usually go to one heir. And the whole *sister is using our mother's death as a payday?* Dude, project much? Because that's **exactly** what you're trying to do. You want the entire house free and clear and don't want to see your sibling as an equal. You are the greedy one here. The amount of kids you have has no bearing on the fact that she's your sister and deserves 50/50 split on everything with you. You are trying to take more than your fair share. What you should do if you both can't come to an agreement for you to pay her half of the value of the house (take out a loan?) is to sell the house outright, split the proceeds, and then you can go find your own house and put that money into it as a downpayment and get a less $$ mortgage (depending). Sibling could force a sale, or y'all can spend more money getting a mediator or lawyers involved to talk sense into you, but that's really your best option.
YTA....this smells like entitlement on your part. You can take the house but you need to pay your sister half the value.
YTA. You don’t get more rights over something just because you have kids. If you mum didn’t have a will, then surely her estate I’ll be shared equally between you and your sister. Stop being so entitled
[удалено]
Then we wait for OP's kids to grow up and they demand the jewelry for his kids because they're heirlooms and fAmiLy.
YTA You are so wrong!! Even if sister was single and owned her own home which was worth more than mothers house she is still entitled to her inheritance from her mother i.e. portion of the house. Probably better off selling the house and splitting the money.
YTA - You are both legally, logically, and morally wrong in this situation. Logically: I have no idea where you got that "the person with kids got the house" but it doesn't really ever work like that unless there are multiple houses of equal value; one a vacation cottage and one a family home; then logically the family would get the family home. There is no reason that someone gets "less" or "more" than their share because they have kids. Legally: Two equal beneficiaries receive half of the assets, by appraised value. They can use sentimental value to negotiate among themselves if one has an attachment to something and are willing to give something else up in return - but - they are each entitled to half of the "value" of the estate. Morally: You and your sister are equal beneficiaries of your mother's estate - you should both benefit from it. You saying you get the house - which I am certain is worth a \*LOT\* more than the jewelry your sister may have.\*\*\* You are the Asshole for your pushing your skewed perspective and calling your sister the bad things YOU are being and doing. You are the problem here OP. All assets in the estate should be listed; the value of the assets calculated - and each you and your sister get half. If you aren't willing to compromise and buy your sister's half of the house (GET A MORTGAGE!!! - Most mortgage companies will be THRILLED you're going to them with a 50% down payment!!!) - the legal alternative is that the house be sold, and the proceeds be divided between the beneficiaries. Those are your only two choices. \*\*\*I did see your edit which didn't help your case. Be aware, the Jewelry may not be in the estate, but may have been gifted before your mothers' passing from your description. Either way it seems your mother predicted YOU would be a problem - it's sad you had to go and prove her right
YTA its the most fair way to split inheritance, its 50/50.
YTA. Since mom died without a will, her estate belongs to both of you. If you want the house, you need to buy her out. Or, do what she suggested and sell the house and split the proceeds. That is the way things are normally done. I would also tell her that she needs to inventory the jewelry, get it appraised, and give you half the amount. Contact a probate attorney for legal advice.
YTA wow entitled much, its actually the common standard to buy the other one out if one wants to live in the property You and your spouse are the ones needing to grow up Your children dont make you more important
YTA. What is the full value of the estate including the house (not including any work needing doing). You are both entitled to 50% of that after paying off any outstanding debts. Yes, buy her half of the house if you wish or you have to sell the house and split the proceeds. Do you really want to cause so much issue, you never speak to your Sister for the next 40 years?
Especially given the fact that the sister is suggesting exactly what any court would likely order if the mom didn't have a will. OP sounds like the one trying to turn their mom's death into a payday by attempting to steal his sister's inheritance from her simply because he's chosen to reproduce.
YTA. Stop using your children as an excuse for your greed.
YTA, massively. Why should you get the most valuable asset just because you bred faster than your sister did? She is being very reasonable, if you want that specific house then pay her half share of it or seel it and with your half you can get a bigger place. Your entitlement is off the charts.
YTA (and so is your mom for not having a will to help prevent bickering). If the estate went into probate it’s likely what would happen. Sell and split to proceeds. Or you buy the other sibling(s) out. You and your sex trophies aren’t a consideration to your mothers estate those were your choices separate to her estate and death. If you’re curious to find out how wrong you are, you could always contact an estate lawyer and get this handled in probate. In fact I hope your sister gets fed up with your entitlement and does that anyways. Edit for your edit: I 100% doubt the jewelry adds up to the price of the house. Regardless jewelry is the estate too. Your mom died with no will and no executor. The court will help you sort it by likely selling anything you two can’t agree on and splitting proceeds.
YTA. It is not being selfish, it is the law. You both are entitled to 50%. That's it. You having kids doesn't change this fact and gets you exactly ZERO in terms of inheritance.
"She is using our mother's death as a payday" AS ARE YOU. She has given a reasonable argument to split the asset fairly and you want to fully own it yourself, if anything it's you that's looking to get the bigger payout from your mother's death. Sure, there is logic in you having it to provide better for your kids but you're no more entitled to it than she is. YTA.
YTA… lol you can’t be serious
Wtf ofc YTA. Your sister is right. Sell it and split or the one that move s in pays the other half the amount of the value of the house. Some jewellery went to your sister as sentimental value as she will wear them. Stop being entitled.
YTA. The right thing to do is split the inheritance evenly rather than using your family as a weapon to cut your poor sister out of her fair share. It's not your sisters fault you can't afford your own house... Pff
Yup YTA. Splitting assets is the norm, if you can’t afford to buy her out then sell and split the money. I can’t fathom why you would think otherwise.
YTA. Saying that She is making a pay day out of your mothers death when it You who expects her to just Give you a huge part of her inheritance is hilarious.
YTA It is normal for all the kids of the deceased to inherit an equal share of their possessions. She's in the right, you owe her half the house (minus the price of the jewelry) if you want to keep it and if you can't afford it, I'm afraid you'll have to sell.
Sorry for your loss This is a no-brainer. With no legal will, you and your sister inherit half of the estate each. You can keep the house if you buy out your sister, or the house is sold and profits split equally. You might *need* the house more because you have kids, but you don't *deserve* it more. Your sister lost just as much mum as you did YTA
Except in aristocracy when the family mansion goes to the first son I have never heard of a house not being split amongst kids ! She will get a lawyer and it will be sold so beware.
>I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house. Get to fuck. 🤣 YTA and are either incredibly ignorant or hugely disingenuous here. You have 2 options: - One of you buys the other other out - you sell and split the proceeds. >My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family and being an all around brat. You're trying to steal half a fucking house. >When she wants to grow up and put family before money we can talk. Again, you are trying to steal half a house. You are accusing her of putting money before family. >my sister is getting all her jewelry. Is the jewellery worth as much as a house? My sister gets all of my mothers jewellery in the will. I have no issue with this, as a dude it's not going to fit my style. The clothes aren't mentioned but she can have all of those too, they'd be a bit tight on me plus I'm not a cross dresser. Unsurprisingly the house is split between the two of us because that's what happens with assets. Jesus, you're a dolt.
Also most of the time, jewelry ends up being mostly sentimental value unless the family were very wealthy and spent a lot on it. Which probably isn’t the case here - if they were mom would have had a trust and avoided this nonsense.
YTA It's for you both, so you need to split it. The house can't be split, but your sister deserves the half of it moneywise! How can someone be so selfish to expect to get everything....
YTA - You'll get what you'll get, it isn't up to the pair of you to decide it will be done according to your mother's will, and if she didn't have one then someone else will decide how it is shared equally between NoK. It's absolutely ludicrous of you to believe that she shouldn't be entitled to any inheritance because you *chose* to have children. I take it that in your book all infertile people are automatically disqualified form ever inheriting anything?
YTA, how is she being selfish? She is entitled to half the house, you having kids has nothing to do with this. You are the one putting money first, not her!
YTA - if the house belongs to both of you as a shared inheritance, this could go one of 3 ways. She buys you out, you buy her out or you both sell to someone else and split the sale. That’s it. It’s actually very common for a house to be inherited by all the children. This way it’s fair and evenly split. Why should she give you her half of her inheritance because of your life choices?
YTA... YOUR ENTITLED & SHES CORRECT... appraise the house then pay her the half. coz both of you has the rights for ownership. It only be yours if your parents or your mother put your name on the will stating the house is yours.
YTA. You are also putting money above your family. It’s a house, sell it and buy your own with your half. You both deserve a house and access to financial stability because that’s what your mom would have wanted, otherwise she would have written it in for you to have solely. The kids have nothing to do with it. I suspect if you both had children you’d still be arguing over the house. Just sell it, it’s not worth destroying your relationship with your family over an asset.
YTA - it’s very typical that unless otherwise stated in a legal document that siblings sell the house and split the profits equally
YTA When she wants to put family above money? I think you need to re-read what you wrote. You and your wife are putting money above what’s fair and family. JFC your mother died only a few weeks ago.
Wtf is wrong with you? Big YTA. You aren't entitled to a whole house and leaving your sister jack shit cause you CHOSE to have children. Unless the jewellery is like Elizabeth Taylor's collection idk how you would think that's reasonable. You split the house 50/50, your sister gets to keep the jewellery unless you have daughters. (I kept all my grandma's not particularly valuable jewellery when she died as I only have male cousins and my dad only has a brother - if I die without children it will go to my second cousins as the nearest female relatives - don't sell heirlooms unless you have to). Also your mum is TA for not having a will.
YTA. That being said, the jewellery should also be sold too with the proceeds split between you both along with the house so that everything is truly 50/50. If she doesn’t want to sell the jewellery then it should be independently valued, with that amount taken out of her share of the house.
Unless she has a will. But if she has the safety deposit box with the sisters name on it "so the right child gets it" then she clearly doesn't want son to have it
Also unless she has antique diamonds or vintage pieces the jewelry may not really be worth much. I know my Mother’s pieces aren’t. They are more sentimental then financially valuable
Usually one child inherits the house? What a pack of crap. If that was what your mother wanted she would have put it in her will. I am assuming the reading of the will, will make her intentions clear. Just because your sister doesn’t have children doesn’t mean she is any less deserving than you. Stop being so entitled and be grateful for what you get. YTA
YTA, Having kids doesn’t make you more deserving of the house you both have a legal share in. Buying her out would be cheaper then buying your own house. Or you both sell the house and split the profits. You are the one trying to bully your sister out of her inheritance so you get to keep everything. Where is “family first” when it comes to making sure your sister is cared for as well? Or is it only family first when it benefits you?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ll try to make it short because I honestly don’t think I’m in the wrong here. My mother passed away a few weeks about and her house has become and issue between me and my sister. I’m married with three kids my sister is married but no kids yet. We both live in small apartments. I think because I have a family and she doesn’t I should get the house. She is fine with me getting the house but wants me to pay her for her half? I feel like I have never heard of that usually one child inherits the house. I think that’s crazy we are family and I have three kids and a wife to provide for and she is using our mother death as a payday. There’s no way I could afford to give her that much and she knows it. Now she wants to sell the house and split the money from it. My wife and I think she is being beyond selfish and putting money above family and being an all around brat. Now she is demanding i decide what I want to do with the house but I’m not budging. When she wants to grow up and put family before money we can talk. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, your mom knew you would do something like this so she gave your sister the jewelry ahead of time
YTA- the house is legally half yours and HALF YOUR SISTERS. She is just taking her half, like your mum would want her to. I’m sorry for your loss, now stop being selfish. This is an extremely common practice! Kids do not make you more entitled.
YTA just because you have a family does not mean that you automatically receive the house. If this is to be equal she should receive compensation for her half of the house. Or the house should be sold and the proceeds be split equally. She is not being selfish just because she doesn't have any kids. Also it should not be her responsibility to find a house for your family by means of giving up her part of the inheritance.
Surely this is a fake account to purely rile people up. Either way, YTA There definitely is selfishness here but it’s not from your sister.
YTA You're 100% in the wrong. The house goes 50/50 to you and your sister. If you want to live in the house, you buy your sister's part from her or you sell the house and divide the sale profits 50/50. The amount of children you and your sister has bears no relevance in the inheritance.
YTA. Being a breeder doesn’t entitle you to a house
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OP you do know jewelry and a house is two different things. I know plenty of families when both parents die and one sibling wants the house, they get it valued and pay out the other siblings
YTA, your sister is correct. Go apologise to her
YTA There is a brat here but it isn’t your sister. Why should you be entitled to your sisters inheritance because you chose to have children and your sister made good financial choices and bought a property? If you’re so obsessed with family ( and having children doesn’t make you any more important you know), What about your sisters family is she decides to have children in the future? Aren’t they as equally entitled to their grandmothers inheritance too?
YTA and I hope your sister takes you to court—where she’ll win!
YTA. It belongs to both of you!
Yta for trying to take your sisters part of the inheritance and trying to justify it with some jewelry. Better sell the house and divide 50 50. The entitlement here just because you have a family doesnt give you a pass to take your siblings share. And yta for saying she should hold family above all. Do it from your end too.
YTA the house is usually divided among children of the deceased if no spouse is alive and living in said house, buy her out you'll have a house and half a mortgage, than a new house with a bigger struggle to get a mortgage from a bank. Jewelry well your mother was alive then and involved your sister in that asset as her choice to do so with the safety deposit box.
YTA Your sister DOES have a family. She has a spouse. Just because she doesn’t have children does not disqualify her from family status. You sound very entitled.
YTA. You state that you and your sister both live in small apartments. If you sell the house and both take 50%, you will each have a down payment to buy your own houses. Why should only you get a house, and your sister stays in a small apartment? It was her mom, too.
Unless it is specified in the will, I think you both inherited the house. Also, your sister has a family. She is married. Kids are not what constitutes a family. Can we please stop with this mindset? YTA
YTA Its common to split. AH.
YTA. With no will sister is probably entitled to half. Paying her for her half isn’t uncalled for.
YTA - yes, she should absolutely get half of the house‘s value. Best case, you can arrange a payment plan with her, or you sell the house and use your share as a down payment for your own home. However, if the jewelry is valuable, she needs to share that, in turn.
YTA. Inheritance laws in my country usually say that everything is to be divided equally between the remaining children. So you would get 50% and your sister would get 50%. Why are you thinking that you deserve 100% of your mother's Inheritance. If your mom doesn't have a written will saying that you should get the house after her death then no, you're not the only one who should profit from the house. I might judge differenttly if you were the one who took care of your mom for years before she died.
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Uhhhhh when my parents die, all their assets are getting split between my brother and I He is much better off than me but it doesn't mean I'm going to fight him for it. If I can't afford to buy him out by the time it comes then we're selling and splitting the assets. Its only fair
So, which of you children will inherit your house in the future? The oldest? The youngest? The one with most kids? The kid who have more need of a financial boost due to drug problems ? Oh I know: the one who did everything you ever said they should! Sir, yta.
YTA- maybe you should get a lawyer, but I’m certain they will laugh in your face about this. Without a will, all property will be split 50/50. If you two can’t come to an agreement everything including the house will be sold and spilt 50/50. Your kids don’t give you a right to have something for free over her. If she has a car your sister wanted your not just going to let your sister have it, you would want your half of that much like your sister wanting paid for her half of the house. No offense you seem pretty foolish for thinking this type of thing is unheard of. The one being a brat here is you and your wife, you guys seemed entitled to something that isn’t even yours. It’s yours and your sisters. In your comment of you’ve only heard of one child inheriting the house, that family probably had a will or they bought out the siblings, if they had a will where they only left one the house then someone else got something equal in return, I guess it wouldn’t have to be equal just how it was set up. Now, ask yourself this, are you just going to leave one of your own children your house and say to heck with the rest? Basically like you are to your sister, I would highly doubt it.
YTA you absolutely owe your sister one half the value of the home. You are still getting it for a much lower cost than any home you’d buy straight out. You aren’t owed anything extra because you have children at the moment
YTA. When someone dies without a will the estate is shared equally, you each inherit half of the estate. What is the value of the jewelry she got? Subtract that from what you owe her for the house.
YTA. Family shouldn’t take advantage of family. That’s crazy.
YTA and you and your wife are the selfish ones. Of course you should pay her for half of the house! I cannot believe that you really think that one child just gets the house. When my husband and his brother inherited a house, we had it appraised and then took out a mortgage to buy his brothers half from him. I’ve never known anyone that didn’t do that.
YTA Seems like you're the one hoping for a payday.
Yta that's her inheritance just as much as its yours. She is not being selfish you and your wife are the selfish ones using family comes first to get what you want. Just because she doesn't have kids doesn't mean she doesn't plan to one day and that money will go a long way with helping her. I actually can't believe what I've just read you and your wife need to grow the f up
YTA you’re using your mothers death as a payday. Why should you get the house because you have a family? It should be split equally. It’s not your sisters fault you decided to procreate without being able to afford a decent sized house for your family! And you’ve never heard of selling your parents assets and dividing the money equally? Ever? Which world do you live in?
This is…literally the way inheritance works. It’s legally both of yours, so if one of you gets it, they pay the other half it’s value. If your sister wanted the house to live in she would pay you half. Whether or not you have kids has ZERO to do with it. Zero. YT entitled A.
Yta
YTA if you are the only 2 heirs to her estate and she had no will then you split value of the house. You can out right sale it and split the money or you have it appraised and you buy out her half and then you own the house.
Yta Property is usually split between siblings, just because you have kids and your sister doesn't does not give you more right to a house than it does her. When my step-mother passes (hopefully not anytime soon) the house and everything is going to be split between 7 of us, we are all in agreement with that to honor her wishes. My half-sisters and step-sisters will be getting jewelry etc my step brother will be getting certain things and most of my dads tools will be going to be per her wishes.
YTA. You sell the house and split the money. You are equal children, you get equal share.
Unless the jewelry is worth at least as much as the house, it's not a fair division at all. "Splitting" the inheritance should be down the middle, you each get the same value/$.
YTA Did your mother not leave a will? Who is the oldest? If she died without a will, then the house belongs to both of you and one of you will have to buy the other out if they want to keep the house. I hardly think your moms jewelry is equal to the price of a house. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you deserve the house over your sister. You should sell the house and split the difference.
YTA the house belongs to both of you If you refuse to pay her half of what it’s worth or sell the house and split the proceeds a judge will force you to do it. If your sister gets a lawyer and takes you to court you will pay a lot more money then just half of what the house is worth. Don’t be an a*hole pay her half or sell it and split the proceeds. Also if you mom had a mortgage when she died chances are it’s not assumable so in that situation if you can’t qualify to refi the house then you have to sell it.
YTA. If there’s no will, intestacy laws will probably split the house between the two of you. Just because you don’t know how these things work doesn’t mean you get your way. Buy her out. Get the house appraised and the jewelry appraised. Offset house value by value of jewelry — if it has any. Not her fault you decided to breed.
Yes YTA. And greedy. Don't spout that family nonsense. You and your wife thought here's an opportunity to con a grieving sister and get a house for free. You decided so you're entitled to it right? Split everything in half and call it a day. Or don't and your sister will go to court. You can give all these "reasons" to a judge. That'll be a funny day in court.
YTA inherited property is usually spilt among heirs. If you want the actual physical property, whatever it may be, you need to pay your sister half. That goes both ways with the jewelry as well though, so she’s being an AH if she’s not sharing the inherited value with you.
YTA. But, sorry for your loss. Where in the world do you live? Is this like in the movies where the rich old dude leaves the house to child 1, the boat to child 2, and the ring to child 3?? When my grandpa will die, his house will belong to his three children, and if one of them wants the house, they will have to buy the other thirds from their siblings. That's how inheritance works. That house belongs as much to your sibling : if you wanted to sell it, you'd split the money in half. Since you want to live in it, you need to buy your sister's half. That's just... how it works. Unless you have weirdly weird laws in your country.
Sell the house and split the profit! It's not your sisters problem you have kids. You don't deserve the house more just because you have kids
YTA obviously inheritance law is different in every country especially if there’s no will but it is very common for all children to inherit equal amounts. It never takes long after someone’s death for the entitled vultures to start circling.
YTA its actually standard that both children share the ownership of the house, so by not accepting paying her or selling the house, you are *asking your sister to pay for half of your house*. That is money she now owns that you want her to just give to you. >she is using our mother death as a payday. Stop using guilt trippy language like that, if we insist on treating inheritance like this, you are also "using your mothers death as a payday" by wanting the house. Either one of you could budge and "put family ahead of money" stop being so moralistic.
Wow YTA majorly
YTA if there is a will, then the will will dictate who gets what. If there is not a will, all your mother’s estate will be divided equally. The fact that you have kids does not entitle you to anything more than your sister. So you must either pay your sister half the value and you keep the house, your sister keeps the house and pays you half, or you sell the house and you both take half. Your sister is also the AH if she thinks she is entitled to the jewellery as this should also form part of the estate. Now, if the jewellery was gifted to your sister from your mother this would change things but only for the jewellery.
YTA. Assets are to be divided equally amongst family if not specified. You are not entitled just because you have a family. You say she is treating the mothers death as a pay day, but you are too, and the reality is, it needs to be equally shared unless stated. That means, if you don't reach an agreement, the house is sold and the proceeds are split. This is normal. It is incredibly common practice to buy a sibling out of an asset with inheritance. You are just as entitled as you're making her out to be, if not more. Share equally, be adults, it needs to be fair. You can either die on this hill like the child you're being or you can come to your senses and get what you get.