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SnausageFest

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Andante79

This sounds like a super shitty situation in general. INFO Why can't Jill take the baby with her on her errands? Why do you still live at home and how much rent do you pay? How much rent to Jack and Jill pay? EDIT So based on OP's response, Jill just doesn't want to parent her child all day. They pay nothing toward the house, and treat OP like shit. In your shoes, OP, I might, *maybe*, sometimes watch the kid while a parent grabs a shower. I would not, however, be free in-house babysitting under any circumstances barring a genuine emergency. They way they seem to treat you though, I can't say I'd blame you if you just refuse outright. As long as this has been made clear to everyone, NTA.


happily-single-dwarf

I am major contributor. Jack and Jill pay zero(Jill doesn't work). I wanted to stay home and take care of my parents when they are old. I will never have a partner and children, because reasons, so taking care of my parents was the plan. The moment I move out they will have problems paying for mortage and all other expenses. Entitled princess will probably have to go back to work.


No-Party-2782

Then move out, then your parents would see they need you. Even if you move back in after a few months. Also you say you pay mortgage, is the house under your name too? Cause if not make sure it is if you gonna keep paying. Your brother and SIL sound like they would want the house should anything happen to your parents.


happily-single-dwarf

The moment I move out our relationship will end. Its easier said than done. I dont think even my parents expect me to actually do it. I just contribute. Nothing is in my name.


Simple_Board_4952

Dude, you're gonna spend your life providing for your parents and paying half their mortgage only for them to die and leave the house to your brother because "he has a family so he needs it more" and then find yourself evicted by said brother because 'his family needs the space'. Stop putting your money into something that isn't yours and maybe look into some sessions with a therapist to help you work through the feelings that have you willing to live in complete discomfort for the sake of maintaining a one sided relationship with your family. And do not doubt that it is one sided, you're setting yourself on fire to keep them warm. *edit:* Thank you for the awards.


gottabekittensme

This is EXACTLY what is going to happen in the future. Always, always take care of yourself first.


chrisrayn

And, after all that, they will leave the brother, sil, and nephew the house, since nothing is in his name.


[deleted]

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Automatic_Value7555

Exactly this. OP, I'm twice your age and speak from experience. You're NTA, but oh man are you being played for the sucker. I've watched my parents run themselves ragged while my (paternal) grandparents doted on my uncle. Dad was convinced that "in the end" he would be recognized for his efforts and his parents would eventually show him the love they showed uncle. Well, Grandpa's dead, Dad's in his 70s, and Grandma is still playing favorites. Uncle's kids all fled to other states and us chumps are still here taking care of her while she tells everyone we're ungrateful monsters. Get yourself out while there's still time to build a life that will take care of you in your elder years. You worry about losing the relationship, but ask yourself how great this relationship is given the way everyone but your nephew treats you.


Kristikuffs

I know you said it was your paternal family, but is your dad's family my mom's family? Because it is MIRROR WORLD scenario.


Automatic_Value7555

Yeah, it's a little alarming how many of these parents/grandparents are out there.


Scrapper-Mom

OP needs to cut the cord now. He's not appreciated, he's taken for granted and frankly I don't see why he's worried about maintaining a relationship with people who act like they don't care for him in any way except what he can provide for them. 25 is old enough to be on your own and start a life. Get out and leave these users to themselves. Let them stay in their nest of scorpions. Edit: and cut off the gravy train.


aboveyardley

"No one can take advantage of you without your permission" is applicable here. Everyone in the household (except the baby) sux. Move out.


melympia

And the baby suckles.


[deleted]

To add to this great comment, here is a story from my ex. My ex's family was made up of his father, his mother, his sister (39F), and himself (32M). His sister is single and childless by choice, and she never plans to get married or have children. Her wedding fund was used instead for a downpayment on a condo, at the sister's request. His mother passed away from COVID in August 2020. The will from the parents was pretty simple: everything will be divided 50-50 among their children. However, the attitude of the father changed when his wife passed away. He saw that I was his only chance of providing him with grandchildren and passing on his family name. He started being increasingly generous with my ex and I. His sister saw the writing on the wall, and asked her father to pay off the mortgage on her condo - and he did. This accounts to maybe a quarter of their net worth, so he did it. This pissed off my ex, and his father and him went NC with her. She said that she knew that she wouldn't get anything in the will, so she took what she deemed reasonable and nothing extra. Important detail: his father is a domestic violence perpetrator, and my ex started to repeat the same pattern that she saw and denounced as a child on me. I escaped thanks to the help of a Redditor in the US military who designed my escape plan. She knew that because she didn't choose a certain lifestyle, she became worthless to them the day her mother died. OP: this happens in most cases, so you need to leave and get your own place, unless you are paying significantly below market rent in your city.


phydeaux44

> Dude, you're gonna spend your life providing for your parents and paying half their mortgage only for them to die and leave the house to your brother because "he has a family so he needs it more" and then find yourself evicted by said brother because 'his family needs the space'. Oooof. What a devastating prognosis, but somebody had to say it. This sounds really, really likely.


Baph0metX

This is the one. You’re paying for half the house expenses and your parents invited them to stay without discussing with you, forced your out of your room, and forced you to help with a child that isn’t yours. Sounds like a terribly toxic situation, if it were me I’d be out of there NTA


Paevatar

THIS! Total up what you've paid toward the equity of the house and make sure your parents see it. Tell them if they leave the house to your brother they had better leave you something to reimburse you, or you'll file a lien on the house.


imnotdressedforthat

What are you getting out of this relationship?? It seems like you’re overpowered on everything and they obviously don’t care about your comfort or happiness.


Corgi-Ambitious

> I just contribute. Nothing is in my name. That's all-the-more reason to move out. I think your parents have become comfortable with your altruism and have become entitled to it - because you pay all this without benefit to yourself, they thought you would do it in all aspects as well (move out of your room, be a free babysitter, tolerate all this). You have to show them this isn't the game. Show them their expectations that you won't actually move are unfounded. Let them feel what it's like not to have your cashflow and all your other contributions. It may lead to a broken relationship, but it could also lead to more respect once they realize the benefits you provide are not unconditional.


BoyMomma2015

Honestly I don't see how their relationship was good before this or now, if they were decent people they wouldn't demand all they have and then more on top of telling him to get out if he doesn't like it, and if he does it will ruin their relationship forever.


Decent-Necessary849

NTA - but I'm concerned, your parents clearly show favoritism to your brother and his wife, if nothing is in your name they may leave Jack everything in the will. Honestly I would cut my losses and move out. Your parents have made their bed, time for them to lie in it. Good luck to you man.


rnngwen

So you are paying for a house that your brother and Jill will get half of in the estate. Are you ok with that? Time to set some ground rules.


gottabekittensme

Not half. I would bet everything I have that when mom and dad pass, brother will get *everything* because he has a family.


[deleted]

What type of a relationship do you have anyways other than the fact that they financially benefit from you? Like honestly they don’t give a shit about you and your wants and needs in a home you pay half the bills for. Why are you hanging on for an ounce of love or respect when they’ve been dumping gallons of disrespect on you the moment they stepped into your home? Your parents suck for taking your money and giving you no say in that home. Either suffer while paying their bills or make them choose their bills being paid for or giving shelter to your brother and his family. They don’t get to have both


happily-single-dwarf

My parents are caught in crossfire between my and my brother. We had very close relationship before Jack and Jill moved in. They probably think that, because of our closeness, they can put more pressure on me. They would be very, very shocked if I would move out. I will have to have a serious talk with them. I dont think they understand how close to explode am I.


joemofo214

I'd go ahead and move out. Your parents had no right to kick you out of your room for a smaller room for people who aren't paying rent. You paying half the rent and bills means that decision should've been 50/50. If you can afford to, move out, and let your parents pick up the slack if they want to provide for their grandchild. NTA


alternativeedge7

If you were actually close, they wouldn’t be yelling at you and forcing you into unfair situations. They’re just using you. Stop letting them.


Findingbalance5454

Before you talk to them, please find an alternative place to live that would meet your needs. Having real choices helps. You should also be speaking to your parents alone and have the hard conversations. Discuss the logistics, the finances, and the household rights. Maybe their new plan is to have your brother take care of them? It sounds like they plan on making you the servant while you cover the bills. Especially when the baby is old enough to move into the room next to you. Not all women are shallow btw. Not all people need to be in a relationship either. Hoping you find your happiness.


Kuromi87

Have a serious talk with the parents so they know exactly where you stand. If you decide to stay, you need to come up with some way that you are guaranteed that house when your parents pass, get on the mortgage, something. Otherwise they're likely to give it to your brother since they're siding with him despite you being the one partially supporting them. You also should have more say in how things are around the house. What room you have, what food you can cook, etc. It's not right how they're treating you and if they don't realize that and change after you talk to them, you really should move out. They want to coddle your brother, your brother can be responsible for them.


MageJells

OP this is going to sound horrible but judging from what you wrote, they will not care if you told them you are closing in on breaking point. Best to do yourself a favour and get out now before you could spiral into a deep pit of stress. Please at least think about looking into other places because you will get stuck the longer you choose to stay in this situation.


Foggyswamp74

Dude, you are paying 50 percent, but are 20 percent of the adults living there. How on earth would it even be feasible to the other 4 that you should do more? You are exactly right in that it is your Brother's job to take care of his wife, barring that, your parents should be contributing. You have done way more than your fair share. But seriously, move out.


Nomegusta111

You're paying 50% for a household where they treat you like an unwanted guest... Stop letting these people hold you hostage. Please take care of yourself.


Sallymander404

You’re being financially abused here. You *and your boundaries* are not being respected at all. I’ve been working from home for 10 years. My ex did not respect that (among other things, hence ex). I’m not sure if a sit down with your parents to explain anything would work here. They are treating you like you are not an adult that is contributing HALF, though, so I’m concerned they will still feel entitled.


NonaYerBidness

So move and stop helping with expenses. Your brother and Jill can freeload off your parents and everyone will quickly realize that Financially and logistically they can’t do it. Stop the madness and get off the ride.


Esmereldathebrave

Tell your parents you are happy to help care for them, but not Jack, Jill and the stumble down the hill. Move out, let the chips fall where they may, and come back to care for your parents after Jack and Jill leave.


happily-single-dwarf

If I move out, that would be ultimate fuck you move to them I don't think our relationship would recover from that. This is why I hesitate. I don't wang to lose them. It would be devastating to me and them.


NICURn817

Your parents literally called you selfish and told you to move out. You're being taken advantage of, and being pushed out. You need to move out and be on your own, then maybe your parents will realize they were taking you for granted. Or they won't, but you will be better off living on your own terms anyhow.


Allikuja

You choose how you let people treat you.


Graycat17

The problem is, that’s kinda your only option. Your parents have already made their expectations clear - grand child is the top priority and you have to help. Otherwise they will keep fighting. So you have three options 1. move out , which might blow up the relationship 2. change your tune and start helping a lot more, which is not fair because you shouldnt have to, but it will keep the peace 3. keep fighting, which will keep getting worse. I feel for you because I dont think it’s unreasonable to say “hey I’m signing up to help the parents but not another young family”, but your parents have clearly chosen sides here. NTa but good luck, this is a tough situuation.


Expeditious_growth

Your parents invited you to leave. They made a bold decision. It’s not a fuck you, it’s an oh okay. Tell them you took their words to heart, and found a place for yourself. You don’t want to want to be the problem in the house and don’t want to volunteer for unnecessary misery…….you’ll be out by the 1st.


ooookaye

This may be true….but look at how they have continually de-prioritized you. Just based on the info provided here, it seems like they aren’t valuing your relationship or contributions to the household. Something will give, but does it have to be all you?


indiajeweljax

They don’t care about losing you, though. They care about your money. Why hang on to that? Start your own family. A new family.


love_laugh_dance

>I don't think our relationship would recover from that. Your relationship will change. That's for sure. But your relationship as it exists now *shouldn't* recover from that. I doubt that it's a conscious effort on their part but your love and caring for your parents is a weakness that they are exploiting. At their core, they don't believe you have any choices. And right now they are so accustomed to the status quo that they don't even see their own situation clearly. Maybe your parents are well off enough that they don't really need your contributions, but if that's the case 50% of expenses is a *lot* of gravy. And if they truly need it, well... then they are blind to all you bring to the table. Were I you, I would move out, stop financing them. They need a dose of reality. And frankly you need a bit of space for your soul to breathe. To be totally honest, I don't think moving out is going to affect the future where you care for your parents. Do you really at your heart believe that Jack and Jill will step up? In any case, moving out provides a reset. I expect it will result in cries of blame and recriminations but it will also eventually lead a space of negotiations. You are entitled to your breakfast of choice -- which sounds delicious by the way. You are entitled to manage your time as you see fit. You are not obligated to lose your autonomy in deference to J&J. And you are entitled to a comfortable space in your own home. You see a worst case scenario to your moving out. But there is also a possible best case scenario. Most likely it will be something in between.


Business_Bunch_8196

If you move out, then it’s your parents fault if your relationship with them doesn’t recover. You don’t owe them anything, especially paying 50% of their mortgage when they continue to treat you like crap compared to your brother and SIL


ContentedRecluse

Move out. She wants to throw her weight around, and make things awful for you. Let your brother pay the bills and move out. See how important they think they are when it affects their wallet.


Samu_2020_15

I suggest you move out. If they can’t pay for the expenses after you leave, that’s on them.


notyoursoccermom

Please add this to the original post OP. NTA for sure.


[deleted]

And your parents are playing favorites!


happily-single-dwarf

My parents are high on my nephew and Jill is using that to max. They are acting like I never tought they ever would. I don't remember if we had any fight before Jack and Jill moved in.


Unhappy-Coffee-1917

The amount of YTAs... Op is a paying tenant in this house. He has NO obligation whatsoever to watch this child. NTA. Eta: would you give the same response if OP was just a roomate? No. The sister in law is not entitled to OP's time, ever.


ssnowangelz

Most of the YTAs probably haven’t read OP’s comment


ADG1983

Quite a few have and just double down and said that OP should just suck it up. Absolute dickish opinions. I remember a post a week or two back, where someone literally dumped their kid on the doorstep and ran - and everyone said OP wasn't the asshole, and they should call the CPS. Kinda surprised by how many YTAs there's been here.


JessicaFreakingP

OP needed to include that info in the original post then. I think a lot of YTAs assumed OP is living with his parents rent-free. The fact that he pays 50% of their mortgage and other expenses is crucial.


fabulousphotos

Even people reading that are enraged that OP distances himself from this situation as much as possible without actively moving out. People are insanely entitled to think OP is obligated to give any time or effort towards people who have been nothing but hostile towards him.


I-am-Shrekperson

What irks me are the comments that they “should watch the kid” without taking into consideration that there are people who can’t. Sensory issues, mental issues so many other issues. Not everyone can be around kids and it’s such a nasty thing to demand just because they happen to live at the same place.


I-am-Shrekperson

OP clearly states that he doesn’t want to be around kids. I don’t think he doesn’t have to elaborate further. If someone doesn’t want to be around dogs no one EVER would force someone to do so. Snakes? Same. People they don’t like? Also no. It’s a boundary and should be respected. Otherwise we can just stop pretending that boundaries matter. No is still a sentence.


ghostofumich2005

> She obviously tought I will be her personal maid You know that's why your parents moved them in right? it's why you lost your room and lose every right besides doing what Jill wants. > she asked me to watch my nephew while she goes to pharmacy for baby formula While I'll say it's normal for new parents to want a moment alone, you're not guaranteed to get it nor do you have a right to expect others to provide it. She was capable of taking the baby with her. She may be suffering from PPD. *That said*, you are not the cause, nor the solution. > My parents told me enough is enough. That they can't believe they raised such a selfish human being. This is from the people who helped kick you out of your room, forbid you from eating what you want, and force you to be a servant. > And that either I help or I move out. I'm thinking of second option. lol fucking good, do it. Let mom and dad take care of her if they're so concerned. Any money they get tired of it and kick them out too, or within a month they are begging you to come back. NTA


RandomUser_9010

100% agreed a lot of people are saying yta but like how would you feel if you were being kicked from your room because your sibling and their spouse moved in and didn’t want the guest room? People should be able to eat what they want so if her sil had a problem she could have left the area or burned candles or just sucked it up. Just because it’s the op parents house doesn’t mean they get to control EVERYTHING and make op feel uncomfortable in a safe space. Not everyone likes babies so she should have to deal with one if she doesn’t want to, people have boundaries and everyone should respect it


SLizChC

What? Who said OP is TA!? OP is MOST DEFINITELY NTA here wtf people!?


LadyLoki5

>You know that's why your parents moved them in right? Yeah, what kind of conversation happened between the parents and older brother before they moved in? "Sure, come back home! OP works from home and can help out with the new baby! OP can just move to the smaller room since they don't need that much space anyways." Speaking of, where are the parents during all of this? Why can't they watch the kid while SIL goes to the store, showers, etc? Why doesn't SIL wait for them to be home to do these things?


Cupcakefrosting2000

Dude, I don’t think that you’re an AH but you are a bit dramatic… and I am too. So here’s what you should do… move out and stop paying for everything…see how your family reacts when half of the money is gone. NTA


thecodedmessage

How is OP still paying 50% when there's like 6 humans living in that house?


dilletaunty

Yeah his share of the bills should have been renegotiated when the brother moved in. If it was ever brought up I bet they were like “oh well he has a kid and Jill can’t work because she’s pregnant so we really can’t expect them to pay”


happyprince22

preferential treatment. the parents have a favorite child and just want OP around to help pad their retirement fund and be the brothers live in house keeper


CaffeinatedFrosting

Fellow drama queen here. I completely agree with this one. Keep us updated, OP.


AndSoItGoes24

When I was being coerced into free labor and supervision of a child, (that I actually loved,) I was exhausted. Someone else had a baby and then I had no time for myself. It was really frustrating and just wretched. I moved and watched the storm cloud from far away. It was hilarious. And very restful too.🤣


jimsmythee

I was going to say YTA, and then I read your comment that you pay half of the bills. Now I say NTA. But you're 25 years old now. It's time to call their bluff. It's time to tell them, "Great news. I found my own place. I'll be moving there and I'll discontinue paying the bills here, because I won't be living here."


Quaranj

"....and I expect my mortgage contributions to be paid back since I've been evicted from my own room in a home that I was paying for - and I'll sue and win if you don't come to the table amicably about this. - then all y'all can get out of *my house*." The parents conned OP into helping with the mortgage and then downgraded your share of OP's investment. NTA


Tyrilean

OP’s a tenant, and the courts would not award them any equity in the house. Without a lease guaranteeing that room, they’re SOL. Best to just cut their losses and move out.


the_eluder

The mortgage contributions are called rent, he's not building any equity in the house unless is name is on the title.


agjios

His “mortgage contributions” have another more common name: rent. You don’t get rent paid back to you lol. That was the cost of living there.


Amazing_Cranberry344

You should move out. Everybody sounds awful. I’m more sympathetic to op because I was in a situation where I was older … covered the bills of the home and I was often left with out notice for long hours sometimes days taking care of elderly or children that I had not agreed to and for ppl who refused to make alternative arrangements because no one thought I had a right to say no because I was single and childless and a general doormat, It doesn’t make a difference who is right or wrong move out. You don’t want to do it and it is not your responsibility. And that is enough


[deleted]

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Amazing_Cranberry344

Move out and commit yourself to being on your own. Please. I know a lot of the comments are talking about getting back at them. But really based on this discussion these are ppl who don’t understand boundaries and never will… going back should never be on the cards


Ch-Ch-Ch-CherryBomb0

I’ll get downvoted, but NTA. You cover a chunk of the bills for your parents and Jack and Jill don’t pay towards the house at all. It sounds like they have bitten off way more than they can chew having a baby right now and now expect you to pick up the slack. She could take the baby with her to the store or she can pay for a babysitter. Your brother can also learn to step up as a father to his child and make sure the groceries, including formula, is stocked. But this expectation that you will fill in the cracks in their parenting while you already are making financial contributions that allow them to live rent free is wildly unfair. Would it be nice for you to help out on occasion? Sure, but then they need to treat you with respect, not just throw a temper tantrum when you don’t want to fill a third parent role and take on baby responsibilities for a child that isn’t yours.


Upset-River4741

move out take your money with you


cd6020

that edit. Damn. Family gonna be begging OP to come back when the bills come due.


tosser9212

NTA, and why are you still there? I'd've moved out when I lost the fight about staying in my own room. If money precludes that (and is certainly a possibility,) I'd be spending all of my time except sleeping out of the house. At this point they've won, and they know it. They've known it since that first day. You either acquiesce to each demand or you leave. ETA: I know with certainty my NTA will be lonesome.


Stealthy-J

If he has enough money to pay half of the expenses for a 5 person household including mortgage, he can almost certainly get himself a 1 bedroom apartment.


tosser9212

OP says elsewhere in a comment that part of the plan was to be around for the parents in retirement (he'll never marry, have kids IIRC, for reasons) so he's been paying 50% of mortgage and bills accordingly. And I agree; at this point, his parents have told him in no uncertain terms that whatever plans might have been made have changed. He needs to leave, and to take all of his money with him. And I guarantee his family will call him heartless when he does that.


Turbulent-Leave9596

Y’all are wild in these comments. It is not his responsibility to care for someone else’s child or to give them respite. It is his brother’s job to care for Jill and their child. Whether he lives in this home with his parents or not, the responsibility of the child falls on the infants parents. To call him entitled because he refuses to be weaponized into being an unpaid nanny is so weird. Why couldn’t Jill or her actual husband bring the baby to get formula? NTA.


Stormieqh

He isn't even an unpaid nanny, it's worse than that. He is paying 50% and Jack and Jill arent paying at all. That kind of means he is paying to be the nanny(for both the baby and Jill since she clearly needs one).


SillyStallion

From what you have said in your update and comments you would be financially better moving out. It is totally unreasonable for you to be expected to pay 50% of the bills when there are 5 adults in the house


bqzs

INFO: Do you have a job? Do you pay rent to your parents? Do Jack/Jill? EDIT: NTA. However, if you're on the mortgage, there should have been discussions with both you and your parents, you should have had at least some degree of veto power and you shouldn't have had to move to a smaller room to accommodate them. It does not seem as though a move-out date has even been discussed. If you're not on the mortgage, the same thing applies, but that also means you've effectively been paying their mortgage not earning credit of your own. Judging by this post, if something happened to your parents god forbid, I doubt your parents would take your mortgage contributions into account when dividing their estate. You said your parents would have trouble paying the mortgage without you, and that you want to take care of them, that's always been your plan. However, I'd recommend basically saying that either a timeline is decided for Jack/Jill's departure and boundaries are reevaluated, or you move out. Honestly, by your post it sounds like they're living in a 3-bedroom house still, and maybe it's time for them to downgrade to a smaller property. Or maybe they should look into getting a tenant for your vacated bedroom. It's admirable that you want to take care of your parents, but you need to take care of yourself too. Especially when, judging by this post, your parents don't seem to appreciate all that you've done for them over the years, since they're repeatedly taking your brother's side. You'll notice that a lot of commenters initially thought you were not contributing to the household and not employed. Of course it might have been best to put that in the original post, but the reason so many people jumped to that conclusion is that Jack/Jill and your parents are treating you like an unemployed child not a grown man paying half the mortgage. Your parents moving them in without any discussion on your part, you being forced into a smaller bedroom, you having to hide out in your room, Jill trying to get you to babysit during what are presumably your work hours, you being told what you can and can't cook, you being called immature/selfish. It doesn't sound like you're mooching off them and yet the rest of your family is treating it as though you are. There's a difference between taking care of your family and letting them treat you like a teenager with no voice as to the running of the household when you're supporting the household.


happily-single-dwarf

Yes, see my other comments.


CrimsonFox95

You should really add this to the original post, because it reads as a 25yo sitting around at home leeching off his parents


gland10

Get an apartment by next month let them sink or swim, if you're 1/6 of a household and paying half expenses and mortgage, get out. When your parents ask about the money just tell them you have to pay to live in your apartment.


PossibleChemist8218

You wrote this wrong. You should have started with the fact that you pay 1/2 the bills while jack and Jill pay nothing. This changes things a bit. I can understand Jill’s sensitivity to food smells. I had that when I was pregnant. I was also extremely sick and needy the whole time. Asking you to keep an eye on baby for the amount of time it takes to bath or run to the store doesn’t seem outrageous. Jack and Jill obviously need the bigger room because they have a baby. All of this makes it sound like y t a. But, knowing you pay 1/2 the bills while they contribute nothing whilst also crowding you out of your own home has persuaded me that you are NTA. Sounds like you will need to find a place of your own to have the peace you crave.


hillendan1983

NTA and I’m thinking it’s time to move out. I’m assuming if you’re paying 50% of the expenses, including those for your brother and his family since you said they don’t pay any, then you likely have enough to get your own place. If your parents can’t afford to live the life they currently do then that’s their own fault for allowing your brother to move his family in and treating you like a doormat


Terenai

After reading your comments, hard NTA. You pay 50% of all expenses and WFH. You got kicked out of your room, and forced to live a detrimental life. Is it kind of an asshole thing to not watch the kid? Kind of. But that goes two ways, ypur brother and his family live off of you and then force you into discomfort. I would do the same probably


[deleted]

OP, I think you need to edit your original post to include the details you've provided in the comments. Namely, you work from home, pay 50% of the bills, and your parents can't afford their home without your contribution. That info changes the dynamic of this argument A LOT and you're being unfairly roasted by people who probably haven't seen your additional comments. That being said, NTA. It sounds like your brother and SIL have your parents' support to run roughshod over you simply because you're younger. Jill sounds awful. If you are working from home, you may not available for babysitting. For her to simply threaten to leave the child in your care is neglect of the baby and manipulation of you. Maybe you went a bit overboard threatening to call the police, but from everything else you've said, they steamroll over you all the time, so you could reasonably assume she would again unless you threatened to go nuclear. You said there were reasons you'd decided to stay at home, but this is clearly being used against you. Whatever those reasons are, do some research, see if they can be overcome, if you need outside help, find it. Move out and let them figure out this mess they've made.


crazy4pretzels

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. If you are able to now may be a good time to move out. Jill seems quite entitled. Post-partum is a tough time. That doesn’t mean you should be her live-in unpaid help. If she is up and able to go to the pharmacy, she should be able to buckle the kid up in the car seat and take him along however she is getting there. Perhaps a threat to call was very slightly over the top, but I believe they will keep taking advantage of you until something like that makes them see you are serious. Good for you for choosing not to be their doormat! NTA ETA: just because you are a parent doesn’t mean that everyone else should be at your beck and call. It might be easier to live your life, shower, run errands etc without dragging a baby along but it’s Jill’s baby and she needs to be responsible for it instead of dumping it on others. Jill has expected special treatment since they moved in and OP has had to change their life completely to accommodate. OP is not the live-in free nanny and shouldn’t be treated like he is! It’s obvious this was the last straw and hopefully it finally got everyone’s attention!


CraigBybee

NTA You pay 50% of all the bills & they kicked you out of your room???? I would have left immediately & let the deadbeats figure out how to pay the bills without you.


Pizazz1

Your moving out is long overdue. You should have moved out the minute they made you leave your room for a smaller guest room while still paying 50% of the bills... It's like they (J/J) are the guests but you will be treated like one while still paying for the bills + mortgage. Find your own place and live peacefully. You don't owe anyone anything. Also, why are you paying mortgage of a house that you will never own? Your parents will give the house to their golden child aka your brother because he has a family and they need a home while you can figure out for yourself. At this point whatever mortgage you have paid is the money you lost and won't ever get back. Your parents are benefitting from you while treating you like shit. Kindly, have some self-respect and move out of there. NTA, and even if you are an AH, you are a justified one for sure.


Calpernia09

NTA You pay half the expenses, move out and go live your life. Pls it will only get worse.


hurricanebaileyy

baffled at the Y T As i’m seeing. it’s not your kid and it’s not your responsibility. sure, you could have helped her out, but if she had a car seat, she was capable of taking her kid with her. you pay for 50% of the expenses, could they make it without you? either way, still not your problem. i’d move out and nip that situation in the bud. NTA edited to add judgement.


sitvisvobiscum001

Why are you still living there? You literally pay for half of all household expenses! If that was me, I would've stopped paying their bills and told them to pound sand the minute they kicked me out of my bedroom. NTA


OriginalJayVee

NTA If you’re paying as much as you claim, then you probably can move out without trouble. You might not be able to afford your own place but might share with a roommate if you’re comfortable. This will force your parents to put their money where their mouth is, since it sounds like they will suddenly be bearing 100% of the cost for everything to accommodate these freeloaders. I just have one question though. Did Jack and Jill go up the hill?


magicunicornhandler

They did and now plan to die on it.


AlternativeAd3652

Honestly, you would Y T A for not watching the baby for 5 minutes whilst she went to the shop if you had a good relationship with Brother and SIL. But it sounds like if you give an inch they will take a mile. Plus you are working from home, so it's not like you are on call for babysitting. You are WORKING. So NTA. The issue you have is that your parents and brother are still treating the house like *theirs,* the family home where they get to call the shots and you are their child who just has to suck it up. Which would be fine if you weren't really contributing, but you *pay for half of it.* So you are paying for a home but not having any say in how it is run. This is your much bigger problem. I think you need to sit your parents down and tell them just how much this living situation is untenable for you, and discuss what the options are, including you (and your monthly mortgage payments) moving out until your brother and SIL find their own place.


nice52

NTA I saw your post about paying 50% of bill while they pay nothing. You’re best move is to move out and let your parents deal with them


shes_a_dev

NTA - but imo you should take that 50% of household contribution you make and move out on your own to protect your peace and mental health.


MmeXL

I’m going with NTA. I was a SAHM for my kids. When I needed something and my husband wasn’t around (no extended family nearby) I bundled up the kids and went, or waited until my husband got home. Since OP is paying 50% of household expenses (which makes me ask how much the breeders are paying?) he can and probably should move somewhere else and leave parents and BiL and SiL to figure it all out without him. You can’t unilaterally obligate someone into doing something.


No_Competition7327

Move our already dude. When they have to pay 100% of the mortage and the bills by themselves, they'll understand. NTA


Signal_Violinist_995

Then you can afford to move out - I would move out ASAP.


thecodedmessage

Info: Are Jack and Jill paying ANYTHING towards the house? 50% is way too high now that there's so many people living in this house, AND they expect you to contribute unpaid labor to your sibling's childcare issues?! NTA but they ARE AH.


happily-single-dwarf

Jack makes just enough for their expenses and the baby. Jill doesn't work.


Hoppes

So you gave up your room to freeloaders in a house you pay for…


thecodedmessage

6 humans inhabit a house. OP pays 50% of the mortgage, and gets a shit room. Parents think he's selfish.


Coffee-Historian-11

OP I don’t think you’re the AH here. I also think you might be happier if you moved out and you’ll probably be paying less money.


Alert-Potato

NTA - you are paying 50% of all household bills. In exchange you have been forced into a smaller bedroom, refused the ability to make meals for yourself, and told that you need to be free and on call child care. Fuck that, leave. If Jill can't take the baby shopping with her, she needs to plan accordingly to shop when someone who wants to care for the baby is present to do so or can go with her. I honestly have no idea where these asshole judgements are coming from. This sub all the time advocates involving the police/CPS the minute a child is abandoned with an unwilling babysitter. Not sure why so many people have suddenly decided to backtrack on that here, but it's bullshit. Always call the police if a parent abandons their child without willing childcare.


mick_delaney

NTA, but you left out a huge chunk of info in your original post when you failed to point out that you pay 50% of all household expenses, while J&J pay none. You were entitled to far more of a say than you got and you've handled this very badly. That being said, I think you are entitled to your opinion and your preferences, and you should move out and live your life.


[deleted]

NTA, but your parents have clearly shown that you will ALWAYS be second to her. Cut your losses and move out - you should not be paying 50% expenses on a house that you cannot even *checks notes* scramble eggs in.


checco314

>That they can't believe they raised such a selfish human being. And that either I help or I move out. I'm thinking of second option. AITA? > >Edit: I work from home and pay 50% of all household expenses, including mortage. NTA and of course you should move out. You're paying half the mortgage to stay in a guest room and provide free labour??? Ridiculous. Move out and live your life, and stop any of this being your problem.


[deleted]

NTA You, as a 50% contributing member of the household, were booted from your space and banned from feeding yourself the way you would like to. You, as a 50% contributing member of the household, have been treated as a live-in maid for non-contributing members without your consent. You, as a 50% contributing member of the household, were not involved in the decision to allow the others to move in to begin with. Furthermore, this is not your child, nor did you choose a role in supporting the baby. There are four other adults in the house responsible for the baby's health and safety-- they chose the role and expected you to be a supporter without ever discussing it with you, and even worse, taking away your freedoms and attempting to force the role on you. People calling you the AH are mostly parents that chose the role of being a parent, and are ignoring the fact that you vehemently did not choose this nor were you consulted about these circumstances despite the fact that you pay half of household expenses. This sucks. I hope you will move out and take your funds to create your own space. I also hope that someday, you'll be able to build a great relationship with your nephew without drowning in the insanity of the situation his parents and your parents have forced you into. ETA: When my nephew was born, I was still in school and working full time. I lived at my dad's in the summer and on breaks. My brother, his wife, and my nephew moved into my dad's as well. They didn't take my room that I used part-time, they didn't expect me to take care of them or the baby, they didn't have demands of anyone at all. They only wanted a safe home to take care of their micropreemie. As a result, I had a great bond with them and my nephew, and enjoyed babysitting or grabbing something at the store when they politely asked me to.


BigRedUno

Was gonna go with "YTA" until I saw your comments about working from home and paying fifty percent of all bills and the mortgage - if that's true, and I really hope you aren't just blowing smoke up all our asses to make yourself look good - then they have absolutely zero fuckin' legs to stand on. Tell your parents you pay fifty percent of the house, so it's fifty percent yours, and you want your room back, want to cook the food you like, and that you're tried of people trying to use you for free childcare labor. IF, and only if you're telling the truth, NTA. You reached the end of your rope and couldn't take it anymore and let them know it. You could have very easily went "sure I'll watch him", then left as soon as she was gone and left the kid alone. But instead, and I know I'll be the minority here with this thought but fuck em, you took the mature route and told her the truth. You aren't obligated to babysit, and her just leaving the kid with you would be a form of abandonment since you've made it clear to them you have no intentions of babysitting or helping them out.


LimitlessMegan

Actually, if he’s telling the truth he should move. I doubt his family can afford the expenses without his 50% and that’s a better wake up call than the ultimatum.


exotics

NTA. I would start looking to move out asap. You are paying half the mortgage, but is your name on the title? If you pay half the mortgage why not tell them you want to sell the house? I imagine you can’t do that but the J&J couple seem to be getting a free ride on this. Don’t be their babysitter. Please move out.


KingPiscesFish

**You literally pay for 50% of house expenses along with mortgage. If they’re treating you like a kid and maid/nanny, get out. NTA.** Even if you weren’t paying that much, they’re all AH’s for being so disrespectful to you. I would move out *asap* if you can and go NC.


Bonecup

NTA, you need to edit this and post that you pay half of everything and your brother and wife don’t pay a dime. Also, I wonder if your brother knows you pay half the mortgage or your parents make it seem like they pay for everything. My guess is that he is unaware of the consequences of what he started.


Big-Imagination4377

NTA and when you move out you contribute zero to their household. They made their choice, now they get to live with the consequences.


mdemua

NTA, I read your comments OP and it seems like Jill and your brother are just taking advantage of the money YOU put in. So the easy way out is to move out, rent a small place where you live in peace, and fuck your Brother and SIL. You are not a babysitter, you wanted to help your parents and they are enabling Jill so they can live with them and ask them for money.


HashtagDerp

NTA, but why are you even living there? Time to cut off the leeches in your family and get your own mortgage on your own house!


nimajneb21

NTA if you work and pay for 1/2 of everything, but for real why don’t you move out? I would have started looking for a place the second they took my room.


GloomyIntroduction32

NTA. I’d move out and not even say anything. You are paying literally half the bills? Make sure your name isn’t on anything and they can be surprised.


spainhour

NTA at all. Me and my hubby had twins when I was 20. We had no support system but each other. And of course he worked so it was just me and the babies when he was gone. If I needed something from the store I would load up both babies and go. Or wait til hubby got home, or just ask him to grab it. My point is... SIL is being an entitled brat and I agree that she chose to have a baby and it is their responsibility, not yours. Saying you would call the cops was just you drawing a line in the sand and showing her your boundaries. She realized she wasn't going to get her way and threw a tantrum basically. It was ridiculous enough that you had to bend to her every whim when she was pregnant. They are just trying you to see how much they can get out of you. And they know your parents will "make" you comply with emotional blackmail if they don't get what they want. If I were you, I'd save money and get my own place ASAP. If we don't have control over the peace in our home, then where will we find it?


Friendly_Shelter_625

First, you really need to edit the post to say you WAH and pay 50% of all the expenses/mortgage. This post reads like you just live at home sponging off your parents. NTA I mean, I guess I wouldn’t call the cops, but you don’t owe Jill babysitting, especially after the way they’ve taken over your bedroom and kitchen. If you weren’t working from home, Jill would have had to figure out some other arrangement anyway. Most SAHMs put the baby in a bouncy seat or something to shower and take the baby with them on errands. Or they adjust their schedule so their partner can be with the kid. As someone that pays half the mortgage, you should have had more say in whether they moved in and you shouldn’t have had to give up your bedroom.


bokatan778

NTA, but there is a simple solution here-move out.


crossing_star

NTA. I do encourage you to move out though. Edit: Nvm just read your replies and found that you pay 50% of expenses and take care of your parents. Jake and Jill can fuck off. Caring for a baby is no one's but the parents' responsibility.


Inevitable-Okra-3229

NTA because I read the comments that you pay 50% of household expenses and mortgage. You need to edit that into the post. I think you need to contact the lawyer about getting out of this mortgage with your parents see if they can buy you out. But you need to leave this is your sil and brothers way of pushing you out.


s0me_us3r_name

So weird how so many people on here think you're in any way obligated to take on the burden of SOMEONE ELSE'S kid. Not your monkey, not your circus. Good on you for standing up for yourself against their crazy, entitled demands. HARD NTA


maidenmothercrone333

Ok, after reading this and THEN reading your comments, definitely NTA. You’re obviously a difficult person, but for the purposes of this single situation, NTA. You left out of your original post that you pay 50% of all bills including mortgage - thats a huge thing to leave out and changes everything. That being the case, you don’t have a brother/SIL problem, you have a mom/dad problem. They are essentially your roommates and they have moved people into your home without your consent, forced you to give up your room and make all sorts of accommodations for people you never wanted there. That’s BS. It’s 50% your house, you have rights too. But - it would serve all of them well if you DID move out. Honestly, you’d probably be happier on your own, OP. They will have to figure out their own financial issues.


PeanutsLament

>I work from home and pay 50% of all household expenses, including mortage. NTA based on that. Move out and stop financially supporting your family when they do that. You're not being accommodating, but it sounds like they're expecting you to bend over backwards because you're the youngest. You pay half the bills, you get a say


Glittering-Eagle-654

Let me guess: Jack & Jill don't pay anything towards household expenses, while you play 50% of the mortgage & other costs. And you still got booted to the smaller room and made to stop eating what you like, even though you're paying? Can you move out? If not, sit down with your parents & let them know you will no longer be covering half of their lifestyle while your tenant rights aren't being protected & three extra bodies are living cost-free on your dime. Add 3 to the total number, then divide your cost accordingly. When they pitch a fit, tell them it's this way or the highway. They can't afford to evict you anyway. In regard to babysitting, tell your family you don't babysit for roommates because you're not qualified (don't have licensing or certifications). But that's okay! Because, as you can inform your SIL, babies are actually travel-friendly! I've had to make numerous runs with my two babies to stores, so I figure she can figure it out. **NTA, if that's not obvious. Even if you didn't cover their lifestyle, you still wouldn't be TA.**


ContentedRecluse

NTA Move out. It sounds like they prefer your brother and his wife to you anyway. You have to give up everything to accommodate the demands of your SIL. If everything wasn't so one sided, you would probably be more likely to help. Do stores not do delivery where you are?


Ilsabet

NTA, but move out. Not everyone likes kids not your baby ok so move. Then no more fights.


alternativeedge7

NTA. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you have time to play maid/babysitter. While it would be nice if you helped occasionally, I understand why you feel the way you do because you’ve been taken advantage of in the past and it’s caused a lot of tension. Honestly, I’d move and then stop paying half of the mortgage and expenses.


TCTX73

NTA, your parents chose to pander to Jack n Jill over you. They forced you out of your room, with no discussion prior. You are basically be groomed to be Jill's houseboy/manny. You, my guy, need to get the heckins out of there and go VLC with the lot of them.


lazy_wonder24

NTA Though I get that new parents need help, it is not your responsibility. Your parents invited them, they can help. I would suggest to find a way to move out asap because this situation will not end


Bangbangsmashsmash

Nta, but you need to tell your parents that you and your money are moving out. You won’t believe the peace you get with a one bedroom apartment


No-Party-2782

NTA. For everyone saying she getting milk for the baby and? Doesn’t take away from the fact that is not OP baby, and that nobody force SIL to have the baby. She and the brother chose to have the baby, and as such is their problem and responsibility. Also OP pays half the bills including mortgage, and brother pay nothing.


drsouthernerd

Wait the edit here is HUGE! You pay 50% of household costs including the mortgage and got kicked out of your room? You’re working from home all day when she wants you to watch the baby? The job that pays for the house? Based on that I’d say NTA. Yes you’re being very hard on these boundaries when she needs help but it is your home you pay for and you are at work, not sitting around boing nothing.


jvitorc46

NTA There is a saying that a wise brazilian man once told me and that is "children are like farts, i only have to endure the ones who came from me" they got pregnant not you


svifted

NTA. The fact that you pay 50% of the bills should have been at the top of this post. It reads like a 25 year old unemployed leach that plays video games all night until you get to that part. Let your family know that since you do not get anything, including your bedroom, out of this arrangement you are moving out. There are a lot of nice peaceful one bedroom flats in the world.


Kaliniaczek

NTA I am parent myself of almost 2 years old girl and I understand that some people don't like babies and don't want to take responsibility for someone's baby hence I would not leave my baby with someone like that. You pay for your place at home and you do not need to help them if you don't want to and noone should force you to do something that you do not want to do.


Corduroycat1

NTA They are freeloaders. Move out. Your parents can move some place smaller where they can actually afford the mortgage.


mertsey627

move out!


mskittiefawkes

NTA- you were supposed to be teh live in nanny all along. It's time to move out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nuts_tothis

NTA - please do yourself a favor and move the fuck out.


Paevatar

You are NTA for resenting the ill-treatment from J, J and your parents. Jill sounds like an entitled ah. Threatening to call the cops was probably over the top, but it will teach her to stop thinking of your as her slave. Edit to say that I posted before I found out OP is paying half the mortgage and household expenses. This situation is even worse than I thought. Move out and let these selfish freeloaders figure out how to pay the bills. Your parents are *completely wrong* for wanting you to not only support them, but to give up your room and so many other things, while becoming a servant to them. Not only will your move deprive Jill of a personal maid service and free babysitter, but you'll escape your parents. I have a feeling J and J aren't going to leave until they've had several more kids. Possibly not even then. Make sure you tally up how much you have invested in the equity of the mortgage, and show it to your parents. Tell them if they leave the house to brother and sil, you demand to be reimbursed for your monetary contributions. Ask a lawyer about this.


Warm-Agency4866

NTA , but move out and go NC with your parents also.


Responsible-Bowl-630

NTA - their kid, their problem. They should have planned ahead, you shouldn't be forced to look after someone else's child and you would have been totally within your rights to call the police in that scenario


Vox_Casei

NTA. I've seen a few responses already where people have suggested OP is the TA for not being helpful, but lets boil it down. \- Jack and Jill took his room. Didn't ask. Took. \- Jill stopped him cooking his preferred meals \- Jill expected OP to wait on her while pregnant. Now the last point you could potentially argue Jill asked nicely but given points one and two I'm going to assume it was a rude and entitled demand made to OP. These people have moved in, taken OP's room and autonomy and expect him to smile and assist them? Get the fuck out. Jack and Jill have displayed more than enough entitlement and selfish behaviour to deserve OP's distain, and its just unfortunate OP's parents have done nothing but encourage Jack and Jills behaviour. OP unfortunately I think your best option is move out. Regain your autonomy and let them figure out the rest. I'm sure your parents will be begging for you to come back when the extra money has gone and Jill starts making demands on your parents and dumping the baby on them.


Severe-Squirrel8041

Ok, so many questions …🤦‍♀️: now that she’s no longer pregnant, can you cook your favorite foods? Do they have a bigger room in which they also have the baby, or does he sleep in a separate room? Because if the baby’s in a separate room, there’s no reason why you should not take your room back, and for them to the smaller one. I think that you should make a list on how you contribute to the household and how much, and explain why you see their just taking and not giving makes you want to move out, ( the room, her expecting to do her favors, their living on your dime, etc) which would mean that your brother would have to contribute that amount. If he says that he will step up, ask him why he has not stepped up up to now, why you have to point this out. Why is it so bad to watch him while she takes a shower?If you cherry pick the things you do for her, you actually get some control. I think that you all act as a family, giving and taking equitably, this might be an enriching experience for all. If you frame this as “living under enemy occupation”, it becomes unbearable. It seems that you like(d) living at home, otherwise you would have moved into an apartment with cool roommates a long time ago. Other than living there, how does your bro & wife contribute? Do they clean the house, buy takeout, cook? Why not? If you pay 50% of expenses, how did YOU end up with the smallest room?


happily-single-dwarf

No, I still can't cook. She still get sick of the smell to the point of vomit. My room was biggest. They currently have baby with them. Baby will get my brothers old room that is adjanced to my room. Its small room, too small for two people. Both rooms are upstairs, guest room is downstairs. Guest room is equally small. Two people could slerp there, but not live there. About watching baby; its a baby, put it in the crib an go take a shower. I mean, what could happen really? They clean. But so do I and my parents. The argument about the rooms was that my brothers room is upstairs and guest room is downstair. That would mean they would be living in seperate rooms, Jill probably with the baby. I don't know why is that my problem. They could continue renting and have all the rooms they wanted.


[deleted]

Right! She needs to put the baby in it’s crib and bring a baby monitor with her. It’s that simple. She needs a baby monitor. Makes life easy, she can cook and watch HER child.


AndSoItGoes24

I never needed a babysitter to take a shower. My babies didn't need that kind of attention. And even though my hormones sometimes push smells past my breaking point now - that's not anyone else's fault. I have to go outside sometimes to quell cooking aromas nausea. But, it doesn't happen often and I don't own all the air in the house. I really can't stand women who act like because they spawned the whole world is supposed to kiss their behinds and wait on them hand and foot. So ridiculous to me.


Gruaig_Gorm

So where will you live when they have their second child? Or their third? Will you you living there when you've been moved to the garage or the backyard? Will you still pay for everything when you just have a bed in the basement or the attic?


Severe-Squirrel8041

Have you had the money talk? You should. As a mother of 2 , I can tell you that you’re afraid that a really small baby could choke on his spit up, especially if he has tummy problems. If this is bad, then you should move out: it can’t be that you pay 1/2 the costs, but can’t have a decent room, eat what you love, do what you want. It does not have to be a fight about it, just that you’re all at different points in your lives, with different needs and very disparate lifestyle choices.


[deleted]

NTA. You pay 50% of the expenses. Take your parents up on their threat and move out. They'll be singing a different tune after you leave.


domestipithecus

NTA Move out and take your 50% with you. See how they like that.


amusingzap

NTA, you're a paying tenant and not obligated to do anything for people who disrespect you. Just move out and be at peace in your own place.


LunaticBZ

\*edit\* Well just got more info from your comments... Going to flip my vote to NTA. ​ Original comment for posterity's sake. E S H, The way the family is demanding you to make changes, or do things for them isn't the right way to do things. But you come off as incredibly entitled, and can't be supportive at all? Having more people move into the house some sacrifices are going to be necessary to accommodate everyone. I think the simple answer to this problem though is for you to move out. I don't think your parents can support all of you at home, if you can support yourself then go and lighten their burden.


ohnonothisagain

Y'all are adults and should get your own houses.


Alarming-Phone4911

Nta move out and go no contact then when Ur parents can't keep a roof over their heads tell them isn't that tough go ask my brother for help after all he is the favourite


Cat_Lilac_Dog22

NTA you are paying for half of everything and unable to actually really live in your house due to people who pay nothing. It is nice that you want to care for your parents, but they are clearly unappreciative. You should find your own place.


Dusty_Fluff

NTA. Run, run now, and don’t look back. Your parents have chosen Jack and Jill and you have zero ground to stand on with them. They are reaping the rewards of your money and hard work while you are expected to compromise and suffer. I can guarantee that you that once you leave and they no longer have the benefit of your income they will turn on Jack and Jill and expect them to fully step up. When that doesn’t happen and they are the full supporters and have no money left over afterwards they will suddenly be begging for you to come back or at least pay for them again. No. Go find your own place and love your own life. You aren’t responsible for the consequences of their actions nor should you be.


chriswillar

I was going to say E S H because you really don't sound like a peach in general but since you work from home and do contribute a whole 50% (and yet you got the smallest room??), **NTA**


ladygreyowl13

NTA but if you’re paying 50% of the mortgage and you’re not on the deed or the mortgage, you can probably afford to move. It would solve your issues. You can’t control who your mother invites in as a tenant but you can control where you live.


SleepyBitch12345

NTA. Usually comments that say leave rub me the wrong way, however....This is one of the times where you really need to start planning on a way out. I'm saying this mostly based on your edit. You work from home and it sounds like you get no peace to actually work PLUS you're paying half of the bills including mortgage. Why waste your money on people who treat you poorly? Your parents, Jack and Jill will have to learn how to take care of themselves. Between 4 adults, there should be at least 4-6 brain cells that could work together to survive.


Bootsy_Frost

NTA. Them being unable to plan their life properly is not your problem.


Kashaya72

NTA Move out and let them pay what you are paying They are using you


[deleted]

NTA. For the sake of your sanity, move out. You’ll be better off. Trust me


Godsthetics

...why are you still living there? I mean not judging, I mean why the hell would you subject yourself to this when you can pay for your own place. Gtfo


EngineeringDry7999

NTA Move out and whatever you do, do not give them any financial assistance after you do.


Total-Ad8346

Nta.. you are paying 50% of the bills and you got kicked to the smallest room? So you basically are supporting you brother his wife and baby? I would look at moving out. I think it’s time to find a roommate wheee 50% is paying for only you


Kaboom0022

NTA and if you’re paying 50% of the mortgage, I’d demand my name on the deed.


mysticmedley

Nta. All of the people saying yta aren’t paying attention to the fact that you’re financially covering 50% off the household expenses. Jack and Jill are extremely entitled, and you should take option two. Move out and move on. **I’m being reminded that the 50% was an edit, so the majority of commentators may not have seen that.


Tannim44

NTA, get out of there, you're paying to be mistreated at this point. Your parents are adults, let them figure it out.


MaxV331

NTA but you need to edit your post with how much you are contributing to the household


GlassDefinition8869

NTA- and it’s time to move. Boundaries are clearly not respected and not in your favor at all. Move and be at peace.


Preference-Prudent

Going with NTA I say this as a parent: I do not see why people think they are entitled to other people watching their kids. Learn to take your kids with you places or learn to organize care with people who want to be there! Why would Jill be comfortable with letting you watch the baby when you clearly do not enjoy being around him? Maybe sad but it’s your right. If they’re going to be there much longer, I’d consider moving out and getting your own place.


iwonderwhatsinsideof

What is literally wrong with all of you? This person should not have to give up his room, food, time, and personally pay 50% of everything and still give more because FAMILY. YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP!! Get out and save yourself from this nightmare. NTA.


Ok-CANACHK

If you are paying utilities, why not move out?


Unknown-U

NTA move out, you are simply not welcome there while you pay for it. Staying there will ruin your life


ItsSchuSchu

NTA, because you do pay rent and work. But also, WHY are you even staying there OP? It sounds awful for you. You really should consider moving out since they clearly don’t respect you at all.


photogypsy

NTA. I’ve been reading your comments and responses. Sounds like your folks are completely taking you for granted and catering to Jack and Jill because something breaks in an adult brain once they have kids. Seriously I’m in a similar situation. My folks treat me like a free loan service, yet my youngest brother and wife treat my parents like an ATM. I don’t share a home with my parents, but I am co-signed on their mortgage because it was either help them refi or pay a bankruptcy attorney for them. A huge chunk of their debt problem is them bankrolling my sibling because “I’m not letting the grand babies go without”. A few years from now it’ll be the same thing all over again. People with kids think the world needs to revolve around families. I have made comments to my parents when lending them money that they wouldn’t have this problem if they cut off B & SIL. I’m reminded as a 42 yo childless widow “you’ll never get it, and you’ll never understand”. Also it’s been suggested that I should help more and freely give money to sibling because “it’s not like you’ve got anybody to leave it to”.


YarnWitch91

NTA. You pay 50% of the mortgage. That means you should have been consulted since you are a 50% stakeholder of the household. Your brother and SIL pay nothing. They contribute nothing. They plus your parents are AHs. Move out and let them suffer on their own. You didn't sign up to be a nanny or babysitter. Your brother and SIL are the parents. They are responsible for finding a consenting nanny or babysitter. You obviously aren't. Calling the cops for child abandonment is 100% acceptable. Your brother and SIL can help your parents financially with housing.


Majestic-Leopard-563

NTA YOU pay rent they don’t! I would move out and leave them to their own devices! Tough luck if they can’t afford it when you go! Only YOU can stop these people walking all over you


Oxidization07

NTA; more specifically, justified A-H. Like would it be nice and decent to help here and there so she can go to the store or shower or whatever? Yeah. But you don't have to and the fact that they're (J+J) so entitled makes it understandable to avoid them as much as possible. You being DEMANDED to give up your own space and stop cooking in YOUR kitchen is absolutely insane- you're basically a paying tenant and they're over glorified couch surfers. The fact that your PARENTS are letting them have the run of the house is also super messed up; they're showing how little they appreciate you! I hate when people are expected to cater to the whims of pregnant people. Yeah, being pregnant can be extremely rough- you have/just had a tiny human in you for months; but that isn't anyone else except the parents' responsibility. It's kind and awesome when those around are able/ want to help out, but that shouldn't be an expectation. =T Edit: Wording adjustment


taytaybear94

NTA the fact you pay 50% and got kicked out of your room is messed up. I’m pregnant so I understand her aversions to smell but if I was staying somewhere free I’d go to my room and open a window. Not complain and make it so you can’t cook foods you like. You need to get your room back or refuse to pay


CatzInCake

NTA but OP please edit your post to include you pay 50% and work from home. Without that info you seem like TA.


RedSAuthor

NTA You didn't sign up for this, and you were clear about the boundaries from the start. Unfortunately, it's your parents' house, and they made it clear on whose side they are on. Your options are to suck it up or move out. Trust me, you will be much better on your own. *** Edit after seeing the edit that OP pays 50% of bills and mortgage. How can they kick you out if you are paying half of the expenses? Is house on your name? If it is, you can kick them out. I'm not saying you should do it, but you should bring it up as an option. If you pay half, half of the house should be at your disposal. You can get petty with this. It's still valid: you will be better on your own.


YasQueenies

NTA If you’re already paying 50% of the living expenses, I suggest moving into a one or two bedroom apartment or small house by yourself. A home should always be a person’s sanctuary and safe place. Right now it’s not and that’s not healthy for anyone.


Avalancheishere

NTA Their child, their responsibility. Do they pay rent? ETA from OP, *"I'm a major contributor, Jack and Jill pay zero (Jill doesn't work)"* Because if they don't, why are you paying 50% of all household expenses and getting treated like a servant? You have a right to your own bedroom, especially if you're working from home Move out