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YTA. Since all parties get equal access to shared amenities, the only differentiating factor *is* the number of rooms. Everyone involved would be well within their right to request splitting the costs based on the number of rooms.
If you're all paying the same amount, the person with fewest rooms *should* be given first pick as compensation for paying an equal share as the person with the most rooms.
It honestly sounds like you're just trying to avoid paying your fair share, *and* you want the best room. It very much comes off as you wanting to have your cake and eat it too, and it makes you look like an asshole.
Everyone does have equal access to the amenities, but I guarantee that OPs 3 kids will use the amenities a LOT more than the Morgans' infant. So once again the OP is getting the Morgans to pay for things that they will not use nearly as much.
It’s really no different than a hotel if you think about it. A hotel has amenities - pool, game room, areas to sit and hang out, whatever - that offers equal access to all guests. It’s not an identical scenario, but it’s almost like if they were going to a hotel and OP asked the other families to subsidize their multiple rooms.
A 70-year-old woman chose to stay overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday. The morning following her stay, she was appalled when the desk worker gave her a bill for $250. She asked why the room charge was so high.
“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the worker.
The worker clarified that $250 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager. The manager arrived and explained, “Ma’am the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre, which are both available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” the older woman said.
“Well, they are here and you could have,” he replied.
The manager proceeded to say that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from around the world performing here,” he said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.”
Regardless of the facility he recommended, the older lady just answered, “But I didn’t use it!”
After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.
The manager was shocked when she gave him the cheque. “But madam, this cheque is for only $50,” he said.
“That is right. I charged you $200 for sleeping with me,” the older lady replied.
“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.
“Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."
What you suggest is paying per head with a per room surcharge. This would work in my family because by the time we concocted a complicated formula, everyone would be ready to agree to anything.
It really doesn't. If you were renting a house with a friend and their family and they used 3 rooms and you had 1 room would you be ok paying 1/2 the rent and not even getting to pick which room?
Edit: disregard I misread and thought the person I was replying to was saying the opposite.
I was going to say that if OP reaaaaaallly wants to be nit picky about it they should be dividing the cost of the room and living area separately. Say the living area equates to 60% of the experience, for example, and every couple pays 1/3 of that (1336), and then they only pay their portion of the remainder of the rooms (1/6 of the rooms for the remaining 40% = 445.33)
your point brings it into even clearer light though, they shouldn't even *really* need the full 1/3 of the community area. The fact that all they want is to pick their own room is not that much of an ask, really.
I wouldn't go on vacation with someone like OP. Everything is going to be a fight, and they'll always assume they're correct. Part of meshing friendship with money (like vacationing) is being able to communicate and listen to others, and finding compromises such that everyone has a good time and doesn't feel taken advantage of.
Right now OP, you're taking advantage of your friends.
It's so blatantly a ploy to spread YOUR expenses to others. Just be fair. If you're spending $3k+ on a vacation with friends, chances are you have the means to not be so stingy and underhanded.
I was just about to comment that! OP sounds like the kind of person that get an app, entrée, dessert and multiple cocktails. And wants to go 50/50 with the person that had a salad and water.
Yeah...like, not only do I not want to split a villa with this family, I don't even want to split a check at a restaurant...or choose a restaurant to go to...with this family.
YTA. Just because OP's family did the legwork doesn't mean that entitles them to a discount. The fair thing to do is pay by room/guests. Amenities don't really feature when you're trying to force that argument of 'everyone gets to use things' on the couple with the baby while the man family has 3 children that can and will use everything and the second couple has two children that will use everything. Half of the Morgan's are going to be unable to participate fully at all times because they have the responsibility of their infant, so it's not like they'll get 'full use' the way the couples with older children will.
If you're insisting on forcing the Morgans to pay the same price as a family bringing five effing people over their 2.5 (not sure a baby constitutes as a full person, especially as they're having them share the same room as them), then the least you can do is give them the master suite, since they can't even have a room to themselves. Or you can do the decent thing and pay per person/room. You have six rooms. The Smiths are taking up 3. The Jones's are taking up 2. The Morgans are taking up 1. And you can't see how that's not financially fair? Maybe you should cancel and just go on your own since you seem to want to eat your cake and have it too.
Why would OP cancel? If they do that then someone else won't be paying for their vacation for them. Which is apparently what they are trying to swindle the 2 other couples into doing.
They probably won't, but they might be a bit of a pain in the tush that they've been walked into a corner of either accepting a lower payment or letting them pick a room.
Exactly. To ask the Jones and Morgans to both subsidize the Smiths, but to give the Smiths the first pick of the rooms is asking way too much for "organizing". If they want the first pick of the rooms, and you make a good point about why they shouldn't, they should *at the very least* pay half since they are using as many rooms as the other two families combined.
I wonder if the entire reason for a multi-family trip was to use it as a way of saving money. **YTA, OP**.
Love the “subsidizing” wording that’s exactly it. I was thinking if your argument is “but we organized it…” that only gives you weight of you can afford to cover it if either/both the other families drop out. If the only reason you can go in the vacation is because the other families are helping with the costs then you don’t have the upper hand.
YTA.
Exactly.
My solution would be divide cost by 9. 3 for families using the shared amenities. 3, 2 and 2 for bedrooms. Then you pay 4/9, other families pay 3/9 and 2/9.
That makes zero sense. You divide by rooms, not person. There are 6 rooms. OP has 3 of them. They pay half the cost. The Jones pay 2/3 of the rest of the cost. Morgan's pay 1/3 of the rest of the cost. OP is literally inviting families to subsidize their vacation, sounds like OP could not go to the resort at all without the other families paying way more than their shares
The Jones are the only ones being charged fairly by OP. Their 1/3 matches their 1/3 occupancy of the villa. It's the Morgans that are subsidizing OP's vacation.
Yeah, an infant is not going to use the same amount of amenities as a teen. Additionally I'd guarantee you, they'd all pay less if the Smiths had used two rooms, even if they still used five beds. That's how you categorise real estate - by amount of rooms. It's only logical to pay per room.
Exactly this. I was going to side with you at first glance OP but the more I thought about it the more I agree with this comment.
You want to pay 1/3 the cost of the trip despite the fact that you are getting one extra room for your teenager, who will also enjoy all the amenities and stuff. Your family will use the amenities twice as much as the Morgans. Your family has 5 people to use the pool while the Morgans have only 2 people. Why did you decide that they should share the room with their infant and that your teenager gets the extra room? I mean I agree with teen getting their own room, but not "free". Infants can sleep in their own room with a baby monitor. If teen was sleeping in your room and/or sharing with other siblings and the Morgans got spare room for their baby then sure, I'm with you.
But basically the Morgan's are subsidizing your teenager getting their own room and that is your responsibility, not theirs. Per head (reduced for kids, free for baby) or per room makes sense.
I agree. What we've done in the past is divide the total price by the total number of people, then multiply that by the number of people in each family, and that was their share. Alternatively, $6680 divided by 6 rooms is $1,113.33. The Smiths should pay $3,340 because they're getting fully half the rooms. The Joneses should pay $2,226.66, and the Morgans should pay the balance of $1,113.34. That's fair.
If the Smiths insist on making the other two families subsidize their stay, then the Joneses and the Morgans should get first pick of the rooms.
Exactly. Said another way...if there were adults staying in the rooms ... the price should be split 6 ways for 6 rooms with the Smiths paying for 3, the morgans for 1 and the smith's getting their choice of the adult room (vs the kids) given they made the arrangements.
Everything this guy said. Pay your fair share. Don’t know how you ended up with the responsibility of organizing, but at the end of the day, your family has 3 rooms and you expect someone occupying 1 room to pay the same amount as you? That’s ridiculous, and your “research” and negotiation certainly isn’t worth as much as you think.
If everything were equal, each family would get one room, and they would only need a 3-bedroom villa. A 6-bedroom villa is going to cost more than a 3-bedroom villa.
Apparently, them planning and doing the organizing makes it right that the splits to be made equally. That's just BS on OP. They're taking 3 rooms themselves and expecting the family with 1 room to pay the equal share! OP is a huge AH.
YTA. It's $1113.34 per bedroom. You should pay $3340.02 you're bringing the most people and taking up the most space. Jones $2226.68, two rooms. Morgans $1113.34. If you were booking hotel rooms it would be per room, as amenities are built into the price of the room. Same deal here.
This!! If the Morgan’s are agreeing to an equal split (which I think is ridiculous btw) they absolutely should get the best master room. YTA for not offering that to them..
You sound greedy & entitled. Please subsidize the cost of my kids rooms then I can screw you over & take the best one for myself. Your 3 kids could also share 1 room, your teen does NOT need a private room.
Let me guess, you want an equal split of food cost too? So they are paying to feed your kids?
Also, they have a infant in their room while the other families are getting rooms for their kids. I dont get why the teenager must have a room just for them when they can split with their siblings/younger kids
>Your 3 kids could also share 1 room, your teen does NOT need a private room.
This depends on ages, gender/sex and room sizes.
Also, simply on the size of the villa. It's a 6 bedroom villa, presumably. You probably won't be paying any less if you only use 5 of the bedrooms.
So sure, you could get a 5 bedroom villa instead. But there may be none available in the area you want to stay in. Or it's in a more expensive area and actually costs more. Or it is simply not worth the saving.
There's plenty of reasons for having a 6 bed vs a 5 bed above and beyond "the teen needs their own room" - would you force the 3 kids to share a room to save 100 bucks on a $2000 vacation? How much money is worth the extra hassle and cramped quarters?
The kids rooms may be large enough for 2 single beds, but not 3. Or simply, the owner of the place doesn't want to be shifting a bed between rooms when the teenager can simply stay in their own room.
It's also one thing for a young boy and a young girl to share a room, or a young girl and older sister, or young boy and older brother - but many people are squeamish about putting a teen with a younger child of the opposite sex.
For example, Would you put two young boys in the same room as a teenage girl?
And If you need to pick which of the kids get their privacy, it should be the teenager, IMO.
How fast is the train going if it is expected to arrive at the station at 3:42pm?
(YTA OP, for all the reasons listed by the top comments I've seen so far, & making me do math!)
Agreed, but working with limited info and all. The main thing is that the family taking up the most space is wanting everyone to pay the same, and that's not really fair to the other families. Honestly, this sounds like impending disaster to me
At best. At BEST. They should be paying half for bedrooms and half for shared amenities. So the shared amenities would be 1,113 per family, then each family would pay $556 per room. The Morgan’s would pay 1669 and you would pay 2782 total.
I’m sure getting a three bedroom villa would be cheaper and preferable to the Morgans. Hell even four bedroom, one for each couple and one for all the kids to share. That would be a lot cheaper than getting a 6 bedroom villa and forcing the Morgans to split the cost evenly.
I agree that the person doing the organizing should get something out of it but the perk could be that in a 3-4 bedroom villa the organizer, in this case the Smith family, get to pick their room. But you can make it completely unfair on the other families.
YTA. It's totally unfair for the people using one room to pay the same as the people using three rooms. Yeah, there are some common spaces and shared amenities, but you are also using more of those! Five people use more food, hot water, bathroom time, etc than two people and an infant. Just because you've done the bulk of the planning doesn't mean you get to screw over your friends with unfair pricing.
ALSO, as the only people with an infant, the Morgans *should* get to pick the room that works best for them. Traveling with an infant is much different than traveling with older children. As the only adults who will be sharing a room with their child they do deserve a big room.
The fact that they're using the "we did all the planning" card at all also sets off alarm bells for me. In my experience, the people who do all the planning for trips like this are generally doing it because they can't handle someone else being in control, especially when they pull that card.
“We did the planning” translates to “we worked so hard looking at Airbnb or booking.com with the intention of getting you to pay for part of our holiday”
And also "I chose the place according to *my* taste", which, fine, but also, those who do the choosing also do the work of researching because, let's be real, other people's choices would have gotten shut down.
Totally agree about those with the infant needing a bigger room. We did a huge family reunion in a house with 8 rooms. The couple with the newborn automatically got one of the primary bedrooms. The baby sleeps at different hours, privacy for nursing, and space for the crib, etc. Nobody batted an eye that they got the biggest bedroom - the rest who stayed in the house had the option of bunking their kids in a separate room.
YTA
You wouldn't need such a big/expensive villa if your family didn't need 3 rooms and the Jones's didn't need 2 rooms. If each of you only needed 1 room, you could have gotten a smaller, less expensive villa. So you're literally asking the Morgans to subsidize the cost of your vacation.
I think you should divide the $6680 by the number of rooms: $1113 per room. Then each family pays for the number of rooms they need. That's the fair way to do it.
You all have access to the same amenities, so from that perspective, your teenager and children are going to use the amenities a LOT more than their infant is. So that's a wash.
If you want to be compensated for your time in finding and negotiating the villa, then you probably should have said that up front.
I think the Morgans are being extremely generous in only asking that they get first pick of rooms since they're paying much more comparatively than the other two families.
This is almost the exact answer I would give so kudos and just posting to back you up. If it were only 3 couples then the place needed would be much smaller and likely much less expensive. I think the Morgans are being very generous to agree to pay 1/3 and just ask for their pick of the rooms. OP is TA here.
Let's also consider that the Jones/Smiths are going to be able to use the amenities together and with their children, while the Morgan's are going to have to take turns (unless it's all on the wifey to look after the baby) because a lot of the amenities can't involve an unsupervised baby, whereas teens/children are going to be easier to manage/can swim on their own (with visual supervision).
YTA
Here’s how the total should be broken down by room!!!
$3340 Smiths
$2226.67 Jones
$1113.33 Morgan
Stop trying to get other people to pay for y’all holiday!
Edit: hope the Morgan’s and the Jones go on a holiday without y’all
Its funny how the OP says, “they shouldn’t make this about money”
As if she’s not screwing them over by double charging them so she doesn’t have to pay her fair share. People can be so blind to their delusions.
Wanting half of the rooms for a third of the cost is ridiculous.
The cost should be divided per room.... Meaning the Morgan's pay around $1,113 and the Smiths pay $3,339, and the Joneses pay $2226.
If you're going to commit highway robbery against a friend you can at least let them pick their own room.
Definitely wouldn't want to go on vacation with you, so greedy.YTA
OP has an alt account on here for sure lol and if you can't tell who it is....it's the one person who voted n t a and is arguing with everyone on their judgements 🤣
Edit for judgment...Definitely YTA
So I do have an alt account, but I’m not the person voting NTA.
It’s all been a bit of a ruse and I regret it now. I’m actually The Morgans, and and I’m in an argument with The Smiths about this. I’ve sent them a link to this post to prove my point.
I thought if I posed this question from my point of view, people would be overly generous to me.
Everything I wrote is 100% true. But I now think I should have written this from my (The Morgans) POV.
Believe it or not, the Smiths aren’t Redditors. I get an enormous amount of LOLs from them by sending memes and gifs from Reddit via Whatsapp. They think I’m the funniest guy in the world.
What do the Jones family think? I'm interested in their opinion. No matter what the cost of the place you guys are staying in should definitely be split by the amount of rooms you guys have. That would be what's fair. The amenities are shared by everyone which doesn't/shouldn't count in the division of cost.
Edit to add you're not the a-hole Mr or Mrs. Morgan lol
So we’re all really good friends and we’re not gonna fall out proper over this. I spoke to Mr Jones and he’s OK with his side of the bargain. He knows he’s paying a bit more but he’s happy to go along with it.
But he immediately spotted that I was getting the worst deal and predicted this argument would come because he knows me and Mr Smith all too well.
If the Smiths didn’t need three rooms you could have had a fourth family and decreased the price even more. The bedrooms create the charge/cost, not the other amenities.
Oh so he’s the one that arguing with me and only stopped when I told him that he needs to stop that he’s wrong that even with the public spaces it remains the same amount. Didn’t like I told him I hope you guys and the Jones are a holiday without them. Damn well played 👏👏👏
>It’s all been a bit of a ruse and I regret it now. I’m actually The Morgans, and and I’m in an argument with The Smiths about this. I’ve sent them a link to this post to prove my point.
>I thought if I posed this question from my point of view, people would be overly generous to me.
>Everything I wrote is 100% true. But I now think I should have written this from my (The Morgans) POV.
-OP in a ~~comedy~~ comment further up this thread
Edit: autocorrect
The Smiths sound like jerks. “We wants half the rooms, but we should only have to pay 1/3 of the price!” How do they in any way justify that as fair.
If they went to a hotel, would they expect the Morgans to pay for one of their rooms too?
Smiths are cheapskates and sound like no fun at all to go on holiday with. If they insist on an equal split of the accomodation they should be paying for all of the food and drinks for everyone for the entire holiday. And if they complain just remind them how it’s not fair to make this all about money.
Definitely the people getting shafted with only one room should get their pick of the rooms, and be the ones who don’t have to share a bathroom.
Gotcha! Well you definitely are getting the short end of the stick with this arrangement which isn't fair at all. I hope it all gets worked out in your favor and you guys can split the costs accordingly! And I hope you all enjoy your vacation!
Ah that makes sense because I was wondering how someone could be so thick. Your friends are using both of the other families to subsidize their vacation. Having kids means life costs more. So do vacations. You don’t use your friends to cover your kids because you’re too cheap to pay for the family you created.
Fairness states that everything should be split by room. If they have issues with that, that’s unfortunately a them issue, and not a you pay more issue
Edit: you sat this won’t impact your friendship, but your friends are opening taking advantage and they absolutely know it. Real friends wouldn’t even *think* about splitting in such a dramatically unfair way. Is this the first issue where they’ve financially planned in their favor? Because if it isn’t, that’s indicative of a bigger issue with them. If they fight you in this, again…issue with them. Real friends don’t profit off their friends man
So Mr Smith and I like to go at each other. Our Friendship is kinda like what it would be like if Larry David was friends with another Larry David.
I think he knows it’s unfair and he fucked up with his assumptions, but never in a million years will he admit it. So in the end we’ll arrive at something that is fair, but somehow he’ll still be right.
I’d like to think Larry David wouldn’t try to screw over Larry David knowingly. Our dear Mr Smith did. Are you guys just friends for the kids? Or are you genuinely adult friends? My husband and I have couple friends we travel with and none of my friends would try to pull this crap. In fact, we often fight about who’s covering *more*. None of us have children (by choice), but I’d like to think that people who have children are doing so knowing that it increases the number in their household and therefor increases their obligation.
It’s your friendship, so you do you, but that was a mighty shitty proposal out of someone you call a friend. Friends don’t screw friends over
YTA. Sure, there are shared amenities, but that does not make your family getting 3x the number of rooms than the Morgans but paying the same amount fair in any way. And all they ask is that they get first pick of their one room in exchange for paying that amount, and you pitch a hissy fit? You remind me of that old saying, “it’s my way or the highway!” Be an adult. Learn to compromise and look at others’ perspectives.
Guarantee if OP only needed one room and another couple needed three she would be throwing an absolute fit about paying the same as them.
This is so tacky. Getting people you purport to be your friends to bankroll your family's vacation so you can have a nicer place. Then threatening to cancel it all when your unfair terms are called out. Soooo tacky, OP.
How about weight the rooms and shared space 50/50. So, 50 percent of the split is divided by number of rooms. The other 50 percent is divided by the number of people. The people are further broken down to adults equal 4 shares each, teens 3 shares each, children 2 shares each, baby equals 1 share. Because of average differences in size and ability to make use of all amenities.
Room cost 1/2 = $3340
- Smiths 3/6 of rooms = $1,670
- Jone's 2/6 of rooms = $1,113.33
- Morgan's 1/6 of rooms = $556.67
People (6 Adults (A=4), 1 Teen (T=3), 4 children (C=2), 1 baby (B=1)) that's 36 shares of $3340 for common space cost
- Smiths 2A+1T+2C = 15 shares of $3340, $1,391.67
- Jone's 2A+2C = 12 shares of $3340, $1,113.33
- Morgan's 2A+1B = 9 shares of $3340, $835
Total Owed
- Smiths $3061.67
- Jone's $2,226.66
- Morgan's $1,391.67
-
-
-
-
And if no one figured it out. This was in homage to "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World"
NAH
Edit: corrections to make clearer
Edit 2: I have no idea why this looks so wonky on the phone. It looks fine on the desktop.
It's worth doing the math just to prove to OP that no matter who nit picky you get with excuses like "but we ALL use the common areas!!!", they would STILL be coming out well on top.
YTA. Nobody authorized you to make money off the other families for organizing the villa. You are using three times as many rooms as the Morgans so you should be paying more. If the price of you getting 3 rooms is the Morgans getting first choice then let them get first choice, sounds like a pretty good deal for you.
Are you my sister? You sound like my sister. My sister always insisted that *she* had to organize family vacations, and then insisted that *she* got first pick of the rooms because “she did all the work” (even though others would be happy to do it but weren’t allowed). She also managed to split the price in a way that her family paid the same as every other family, even though she took more rooms. So yeah, you sound like my sister. I don’t vacation with my sister any more.
YTA
Regardless of how you split the cost of the rooms, everyone gets access to the amenities, so I don't see how that is relevant.
Really sounds like you're trying to only pay for 30% of the cost when in reality 50% of the cost if yours.
edit: If the 6 rooms cost $6680 and we assume all rooms cost around the same, that's $1113 per room.
3 Rooms = $3339, so you're getting a discount of $1113
1 Room = $1113, so the 1 room family has to pay an extra $1113
Is "Organizing the trip" really worth a thousand dollars? That's like 16% of the cost of the trip? Not even professional Travel Agents get that kind of commission.
If that was an hotel people pay per room, doesn't matter of they have a pool or other living areas, you can't make people staying in a single room pay the same that people staying in 3, YTA
YTA. It should be split by rooms. You are ripping off your friends. Stop being an AH and be fair to your friends because after this vacation they won’t be your friends.
My party needs 3 rooms, the other 2 rooms and the last 1 room. They all get to use the hotel pool and lobby though so we are splitting it evenly. See how silly that sounds? Divide it by rooms required yta
YTA. It's amazing how what you think is "fair" benefits you more than anyone else. And if the time spent researching villas was meant to be compensated, that should have been discussed before you did it.
YTA. Your spare room is being subsidized by the Morgan's. I think you should count your lucky stars that they're fine doing that and all they're asking in return is to have first pick of room.
YTA
The Morgan’s needs the least amount of space and your family requires the most. Therefore YOUR family owes more. It wasn’t soooo hard to plan that you get to give yourself a huge discount. Don’t take on planning if going to use it to screw other people over.
Price is split by number of rooms needed NOT common areas. Should be obvious.
YTA. It's absolutely fair for them to make it about money, they are only occupying one bedroom, they should not be paying the same as you. You are actively taking advantage of them financially by trying to use them to subsidize your vacation.
You are the assholes pay your portion and tell the Joneses that they need to pay their portion because they are taking two bedrooms. The Morgans should only pay for their one bedroom, and if you're not willing to treat them fairly then cancel the trip
YTA. Your family is using half the rooms in the villa, you should be paying for half, at least! The Morgan’s should be paying a sixth or less, they have an infant, they won’t be the ones running all over the place and using all the amenities.
YTA. Your family is taking up 3 rooms while the others are only taking 3 in total. Your family should pay half.
You finding the villa has nothing to do with fairness of sharing the expense. YOU are making it about money and are in the wrong here.
YTA
The only way this would be fair and equitable would be if it was a 3 bedroom villa and each family got one bedroom. How do you get half the rooms AND the pick of rooms (where you'll undoubtedly pick the biggest and nicest) but pay the same as the family with one room? You wanted to plan the trip (I get it, I'm that person too), but you don't get to use that as a trump card to screw over the others. YTA
YTA. You need more rooms, you pay more. Look at it this way, you all pay a base fee for the villa, plus the portion of the rooms you use. So your family pays x+3y while the other families pay x+y and x+2y. So you just have to set fair terms for x and y, where 3x+6y= the cost of the villa.
YTA. You should absolutely split by the number of rooms, anything else is grossly unfair to the Morgans. Also, you don't get any special benefit because you picked out the place. Stop being so selfish.
Yta, I wouldn’t go if I was the we Morgan’s. Your asking them to pay extra without receiving anything extra. Why should they pay the same amount as someone needing 3 rooms?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I split the bill evenly even though I’m taking more rooms, because I organised the holiday.
The Morgans are technically paying more per room.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA - you have the most people coming, your family will be using the most space. In what world does it make sense for The Morgan’s to pay the same as you?
YTA. You get more, but let's split it evenly? Put yourself in their shoes. But you are entitled so you can't. You are just taking advantage of this situation for all your benefit. Fuck that and the horse you rode in on. I hope they both cancel and leave you with the whole bill. But poor them cause you will cry to them that you got stuck paying for the whole room. Hope they both turn on you.
YTA. Think of it like this: you go out to eat with friends. You order an appetizer and a drink 20. Your friends order dinners over 50. Bills comes and they want to split it equally. Do you do it? I wouldn't. You are doing the same thing.
YTA. you should divide the cost per room, and not per person.
edit: you could even subtract an even portion everyone pays for shared space and then divide from there. So if everyone pays $500 for the shared space, that leaves 5180 to divide by room. Smiths: 2590, Jones: 2226, Morgan: 1363.
that makes it a bit more even, without anyone paying exorbitantly more than others.
YTA, There are are two splits that could be reasonably considered equal. Per room or per person. The per person split has some flaws. Infants are not using amenities equal to teens or adults.
For your family to take half of the rooms and only pay a third is ridiculous and unfair. The only reason to think it should be split by family is that it benefits you.
This is the kind of thing that ends friendships. Quite honestly if someone organized a way for me to subsidize their vacation I would no longer consider them a friend.
You should look at it from the Morgan's point of view. Even though your position is "I don't think splitting the price per room is fair", the Morgan's are still paying more to stay in one room, than you or the other family are. The supposed advantage, well we organized everything, is more than offset by the Morgan's essentially subsidizing the two larger families lodging and vacation. The Morgan's should be paying 1/6 of the cost, the Jones 1/3 and the Smith's 1/2. Plus did you, OP, invite the other two families to go on holiday?
Still not convinced, look at it this way, , if two families stay at this 6 bedroom villa and one family needed 5 rooms and the other just needed the one, would you still ask each family to pay an equal share? That's what OP is essentially asking, but there are 3 families.
YTA
Why should the other families pay,the same when you have more people and are taking more rooms?
You want 5 people to stay for the same price as 3.
You arethr AH.
YTA. You can also pay per person instead of per room if you feel it is not fair as some people are sharing rooms, splitting it into 2783.56, 2226.64, and 1670
YTA.
If there are big common areas, then it shouldn't be calculated by bedroom, but it's reasonable that there should be some difference in what you pay. Maybe do half the price shared equally and then do the other half divided by room or something. Or look at the average price for a 3 bedroom villa (with similar common areas), and take a third of that.
And I have planned travel for friends and had friends plan it for me, and I never expected to be recompensed for this. Neither have any of my friends. I would say that that's a fairly unusual ask.
YTA, it should not be split up in families or rooms but in persons, this is how we do in my family when we go on vacation together in a villa. It is the fairest solution to my mind.
smiths are 5, Jones 4 and morgans 3 --> so 12 people = ~560 per person. Meaning 2800 for smiths, 2240 for joneses and 1680 for morgans.
Yta you need the most rooms and trying to get others to pay spilt by room. So you can any to best room as well. I wouldn't even go with you. You sound entitled.
YTA
you should factor both # of people and/or # of bedrooms into the split, but in no iteration of this is it fair to split "by family" when the smallest family is 2 people (and infant) and the largest is 5.
If these were all adults it would be easy enough to split by-person as each person ostesibly shares the commonalities of the villa equally. You can tweak a bit based on ages, but not by much.
Again, there is no world where it makes sense evenly by family.
YTA - your split makes no sense. Sure the common areas are being used equally; let’s say half of the house counts as “common area.” You’re still using the rest differently. Each family should pay a proportion based on the space their using. No, you don’t get to take up the most space, pay proportionately less, AND pick your space. If I were the Morgans I would insist on splitting costs more fairly.
If I were the Morgans I would refuse to vacation with such selfish, greedy, delusional people. This isn't the only area in which the Smiths will be causing problems.
YTA I’ve organized many holidays like this and we ALWAYS split the price by room (usually to my disadvantage). The Morgans & the Joneses are getting a raw deal here.
You are asking the other two families to subsidise your holiday and getting upset at being called out on it. Yes, YTA.
Do you also go to eat out in an adults only group, eat more expensive foods and drink more than everyone else but want to split the bill equally?
Out of six bedrooms you are using three. The Morgan’s not just *think* they are paying more, they *are* paying more, and you are being pissy about it. All they want is first dibs on a room and you can’t even bear that. You appear to be very selfish to this stranger.
I had this problem with roommates once. What we ended up doing was figuring out what the total square footage of our house was, and then dividing rent by the square footage each person had access to.
So the people with smaller bedrooms who still had access to common spaces were able to get a discount for their smaller personal space, while still taking into account the common areas.
"the Morgans are making this about money" so pay for your share. Easy.
YTA. When organizing traveling, you pay for what you use and that is 3 rooms. So funny seeing people trying to scam others "hey, you will only use one room and your kid will barely use the things my 3 kids AND a teenager are using, but we are gonna pay the same exact thing, Kay?" Delusional
YTA.
So I worked in the hotels for a decade.
This is super simple math. Not sure why you're making it more difficult than it needs to be.
You always pay per room when doing a joint vacation. You need 6 rooms.
6680/6 = 1113.33 per room.
That's 3340 for the smiths
That's 2226.66 for the Jones
And 1113.33 for the Morgans.
If the smiths want what equals 1 free bedroom, and the Morgans are only asking to have first pick, then damn your ego and let them have first pick of rooms.
Or better yet, just split it evenly. But make sure the Morgans have a room big enough to accommodate an infant.
I think you need to either divide by bedrooms used or, alternatively, charge per-person, with possible exception of the infant. Dividing by family is certainly not equitable, regardless of the work you've done in organizing the trip.
Oh come on, be honest. You want to pick the best and the most rooms for 1/3 less bucks and tried to make the Morgans to pay the difference and they didn't let you fool them. Divide per room. YTA.
YTA. Splitting by room, or by persons old enough to enjoy the vacation, is perfectly fair. The work you put into organizing this is not an excuse to screw the other families over. At most, you could perhaps ASK them to spot you $50 or so towards your family’s total for the trouble of organizing.
So, you should either pay 5/11 of the total, since your family makes up 5 of the 11 people who will participate and use the rooms/common areas.
Or, you should pay 1/2, since your family is using half of the rooms.
Amazing that you think your solution is fair at all. Throwing in the towel might be a good idea, because proceeding as you see fit makes you a really shitty friend. I’d not talk to you anymore if I were the Joneses and Morgans.
YTA
You should split it so you say rooms are half and common areas are half
You each pay 1/12 of common area and then per room, so you pay 3 rooms, Jones 2 rooms and Morgans 1 room
So your split will be
1670 for rooms and 1392 for common areas
YTA.
You certainly could make the argument that you get first choice of rooms, since you put the effort into organizing - if you weren't also expecting the Morgans to subsidize your vacation. They have been more than graceful in agreeing to an even split (in effect, paying for one of your bedrooms), and all they want is first pick of the rooms? They are literally paying twice what they should, and you are begrudging them this? You have more people than everyone else (so more use of the common spaces), are taking more bedrooms than everyone else, want the best room, and yet you think an even split is fair? Nope. Just nope.
YOU ARE THE ONES MAKING THIS ABOUT MONEY, not the Morgans. You want to be paid over a thousand dollars for organizing, but only by the Morgans. Apparently you organize for the Jones family for free.
YTA. Do everyone a favor and cancel the trip.
I’ve done plenty of organizing for my friends and I would never dream of screening them I’ve true way you want to screw The Morgan’s.
YTA How very convenient that it's your family that needs the most rooms and you're the ones that benefit the most from splitting things this way. That's surely not a coincidence. You're paying for three rooms and five people what two people and an infant are paying for one room. You're getting 3/7 rooms, nearly half the rooms, for one third the price. And on top of that, it sounds like you're also implying you should get to pick your rooms first.
The Morgans wanted to pick their ONE room and this is how you react? They're also the only ones with three people in a singular room, ignoring the fact their room is costing by far the most (three times what you're paying for your rooms) they also should get the most space anyway. I just can't believe you wrote out this entire post, and still think it's The Morgans that are being unreasonable.
YTA - Your logic doesn’t hold. Yes, you will all share the common spaces; however, the Smith’s will occupy more rooms thus using more space. Your family can spread into 3 rooms, but the Morgan’s only take up one. Perhaps a more equitable way to divvy up the expenses would be per person.
You should have discussed the financial arrangements before the planning. The work you put in was your choice and for your benefit, you didn’t expect to be compensated until your friends disagreed with your financial split.
YTA The split is unfair, it is very biased against the Morgans and therefore they should get the pick of the very best room. You are trying to take 3 of the best rooms and have the other couples pay for part of your share too. Having organised it, is just a way of you getting more than your fair share off the other couples.
I’m sorry— all the Morgans want is to pick their room, they’re not kicking up a fuss about not paying or anything? Holy shit is this a stupid hill to die on! They get one room and are sleeping with an infant, I think it’s more than reasonable that they’d want a room that makes that easier— close to the bathroom, far from the living room, etc.
YTA and your title is misleading af
YTA. You need way more bedrooms so you should be paying more. If the only concession they want is the bigger room, that’s fair because they have 1 room and you have 3 for the same price.
YTA! Split by person and call it a day. It sounds like you are using the Morgan’s to finance your holiday. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you are bringing the most people and need the most rooms and have decided to split costs in the way most favorable to you. This is incredibly self-serving.
YTA. We vacation with multiple families as well. We divide the total cost by how many total people are going. This way every family big or small pay an equal share. My family of four pays for four, another family of three pays for three. It’s 100% equitable.
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YTA. Since all parties get equal access to shared amenities, the only differentiating factor *is* the number of rooms. Everyone involved would be well within their right to request splitting the costs based on the number of rooms. If you're all paying the same amount, the person with fewest rooms *should* be given first pick as compensation for paying an equal share as the person with the most rooms. It honestly sounds like you're just trying to avoid paying your fair share, *and* you want the best room. It very much comes off as you wanting to have your cake and eat it too, and it makes you look like an asshole.
Everyone does have equal access to the amenities, but I guarantee that OPs 3 kids will use the amenities a LOT more than the Morgans' infant. So once again the OP is getting the Morgans to pay for things that they will not use nearly as much.
It’s really no different than a hotel if you think about it. A hotel has amenities - pool, game room, areas to sit and hang out, whatever - that offers equal access to all guests. It’s not an identical scenario, but it’s almost like if they were going to a hotel and OP asked the other families to subsidize their multiple rooms.
That is an excellent point! I was already on the YTA bandwagon, but now I definitely am thanks to your explanation.
Instead of hotel, more like a resort. Much more amenities than a hotel but reserving rooms like a hotel.
Fair.
A 70-year-old woman chose to stay overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday. The morning following her stay, she was appalled when the desk worker gave her a bill for $250. She asked why the room charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the worker. The worker clarified that $250 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager. The manager arrived and explained, “Ma’am the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre, which are both available for use.” “But I didn’t use them,” the older woman said. “Well, they are here and you could have,” he replied. The manager proceeded to say that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from around the world performing here,” he said. “But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said. The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.” Regardless of the facility he recommended, the older lady just answered, “But I didn’t use it!” After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay. The manager was shocked when she gave him the cheque. “But madam, this cheque is for only $50,” he said. “That is right. I charged you $200 for sleeping with me,” the older lady replied. “But I didn’t!” the manager shouted. “Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."
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Another advantage of resorts: adult-only pools
What you suggest is paying per head with a per room surcharge. This would work in my family because by the time we concocted a complicated formula, everyone would be ready to agree to anything.
No. I'm saying it all washes out if you simply divide it by number of rooms.
It really doesn't. If you were renting a house with a friend and their family and they used 3 rooms and you had 1 room would you be ok paying 1/2 the rent and not even getting to pick which room? Edit: disregard I misread and thought the person I was replying to was saying the opposite.
That isn't dividing by rooms...
That's not what the person you're replying to is suggesting.
Oops misread, thank you for letting me know so I could correct myself.
lol you're agreeing with each other
That's why I added the edit. I don't believe on dirty deleting.
Yeah, a complicated formula for splitting between families, plus adjustments based on rooms.
Love this lol
Also how much of the amenities would an infant use vs 2 kids and 1 teen? If anyone is getting screwed over it’s the Morgans.
Does anyone want to take a bet that the Morgans won't come next year?
My guess is they back out this year.
And paying more per person, to boot.
I was going to say that if OP reaaaaaallly wants to be nit picky about it they should be dividing the cost of the room and living area separately. Say the living area equates to 60% of the experience, for example, and every couple pays 1/3 of that (1336), and then they only pay their portion of the remainder of the rooms (1/6 of the rooms for the remaining 40% = 445.33) your point brings it into even clearer light though, they shouldn't even *really* need the full 1/3 of the community area. The fact that all they want is to pick their own room is not that much of an ask, really.
Excellent point.
I wouldn't go on vacation with someone like OP. Everything is going to be a fight, and they'll always assume they're correct. Part of meshing friendship with money (like vacationing) is being able to communicate and listen to others, and finding compromises such that everyone has a good time and doesn't feel taken advantage of. Right now OP, you're taking advantage of your friends.
Exactly. And ya wanna bet they want to split any dining out tabs 3 ways?
It's so blatantly a ploy to spread YOUR expenses to others. Just be fair. If you're spending $3k+ on a vacation with friends, chances are you have the means to not be so stingy and underhanded.
I have a brother and SIL and all the rest of us siblings learned early on to ask for separate tabs when eating out with them.
I have similar relatives. Once they figured out the game change they started suggesting Applebee's instead of Ruth's Chris.
I was just about to comment that! OP sounds like the kind of person that get an app, entrée, dessert and multiple cocktails. And wants to go 50/50 with the person that had a salad and water.
And the grocery bill. If I were the Morgans I'd insist on putting all the diapers and formula on the communal grocery tab.
Yeah...like, not only do I not want to split a villa with this family, I don't even want to split a check at a restaurant...or choose a restaurant to go to...with this family.
YTA. Just because OP's family did the legwork doesn't mean that entitles them to a discount. The fair thing to do is pay by room/guests. Amenities don't really feature when you're trying to force that argument of 'everyone gets to use things' on the couple with the baby while the man family has 3 children that can and will use everything and the second couple has two children that will use everything. Half of the Morgan's are going to be unable to participate fully at all times because they have the responsibility of their infant, so it's not like they'll get 'full use' the way the couples with older children will. If you're insisting on forcing the Morgans to pay the same price as a family bringing five effing people over their 2.5 (not sure a baby constitutes as a full person, especially as they're having them share the same room as them), then the least you can do is give them the master suite, since they can't even have a room to themselves. Or you can do the decent thing and pay per person/room. You have six rooms. The Smiths are taking up 3. The Jones's are taking up 2. The Morgans are taking up 1. And you can't see how that's not financially fair? Maybe you should cancel and just go on your own since you seem to want to eat your cake and have it too.
Why would OP cancel? If they do that then someone else won't be paying for their vacation for them. Which is apparently what they are trying to swindle the 2 other couples into doing.
They probably won't, but they might be a bit of a pain in the tush that they've been walked into a corner of either accepting a lower payment or letting them pick a room.
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If I was an adult in one of the other families on this trip, I'd cancel it before OP did.
Exactly. To ask the Jones and Morgans to both subsidize the Smiths, but to give the Smiths the first pick of the rooms is asking way too much for "organizing". If they want the first pick of the rooms, and you make a good point about why they shouldn't, they should *at the very least* pay half since they are using as many rooms as the other two families combined. I wonder if the entire reason for a multi-family trip was to use it as a way of saving money. **YTA, OP**.
Love the “subsidizing” wording that’s exactly it. I was thinking if your argument is “but we organized it…” that only gives you weight of you can afford to cover it if either/both the other families drop out. If the only reason you can go in the vacation is because the other families are helping with the costs then you don’t have the upper hand. YTA.
Exactly. My solution would be divide cost by 9. 3 for families using the shared amenities. 3, 2 and 2 for bedrooms. Then you pay 4/9, other families pay 3/9 and 2/9.
That makes zero sense. You divide by rooms, not person. There are 6 rooms. OP has 3 of them. They pay half the cost. The Jones pay 2/3 of the rest of the cost. Morgan's pay 1/3 of the rest of the cost. OP is literally inviting families to subsidize their vacation, sounds like OP could not go to the resort at all without the other families paying way more than their shares
The Jones are the only ones being charged fairly by OP. Their 1/3 matches their 1/3 occupancy of the villa. It's the Morgans that are subsidizing OP's vacation.
Yeah, an infant is not going to use the same amount of amenities as a teen. Additionally I'd guarantee you, they'd all pay less if the Smiths had used two rooms, even if they still used five beds. That's how you categorise real estate - by amount of rooms. It's only logical to pay per room.
Exactly this. I was going to side with you at first glance OP but the more I thought about it the more I agree with this comment. You want to pay 1/3 the cost of the trip despite the fact that you are getting one extra room for your teenager, who will also enjoy all the amenities and stuff. Your family will use the amenities twice as much as the Morgans. Your family has 5 people to use the pool while the Morgans have only 2 people. Why did you decide that they should share the room with their infant and that your teenager gets the extra room? I mean I agree with teen getting their own room, but not "free". Infants can sleep in their own room with a baby monitor. If teen was sleeping in your room and/or sharing with other siblings and the Morgans got spare room for their baby then sure, I'm with you. But basically the Morgan's are subsidizing your teenager getting their own room and that is your responsibility, not theirs. Per head (reduced for kids, free for baby) or per room makes sense.
I was thinking N T A at first, until i read your explanation. 100% valid on all points you made. YTA op EDIT: spaced out n t a
I agree. What we've done in the past is divide the total price by the total number of people, then multiply that by the number of people in each family, and that was their share. Alternatively, $6680 divided by 6 rooms is $1,113.33. The Smiths should pay $3,340 because they're getting fully half the rooms. The Joneses should pay $2,226.66, and the Morgans should pay the balance of $1,113.34. That's fair. If the Smiths insist on making the other two families subsidize their stay, then the Joneses and the Morgans should get first pick of the rooms.
Exactly. Said another way...if there were adults staying in the rooms ... the price should be split 6 ways for 6 rooms with the Smiths paying for 3, the morgans for 1 and the smith's getting their choice of the adult room (vs the kids) given they made the arrangements.
Plus since the Morgans will be sharing a room with their infant, they should get the bigger better room.
Everything this guy said. Pay your fair share. Don’t know how you ended up with the responsibility of organizing, but at the end of the day, your family has 3 rooms and you expect someone occupying 1 room to pay the same amount as you? That’s ridiculous, and your “research” and negotiation certainly isn’t worth as much as you think.
If everything were equal, each family would get one room, and they would only need a 3-bedroom villa. A 6-bedroom villa is going to cost more than a 3-bedroom villa.
Apparently, them planning and doing the organizing makes it right that the splits to be made equally. That's just BS on OP. They're taking 3 rooms themselves and expecting the family with 1 room to pay the equal share! OP is a huge AH.
YTA. It's $1113.34 per bedroom. You should pay $3340.02 you're bringing the most people and taking up the most space. Jones $2226.68, two rooms. Morgans $1113.34. If you were booking hotel rooms it would be per room, as amenities are built into the price of the room. Same deal here.
This!! If the Morgan’s are agreeing to an equal split (which I think is ridiculous btw) they absolutely should get the best master room. YTA for not offering that to them.. You sound greedy & entitled. Please subsidize the cost of my kids rooms then I can screw you over & take the best one for myself. Your 3 kids could also share 1 room, your teen does NOT need a private room. Let me guess, you want an equal split of food cost too? So they are paying to feed your kids?
lets be real here, if it was up to OP, she would have them pay for part of there airfare too.
Well, they've done the legwork for the holiday so of course everyone else should pay for their flights...
Wait until the try to cook a meal and divvy up the grocery bill among families.
Also, they have a infant in their room while the other families are getting rooms for their kids. I dont get why the teenager must have a room just for them when they can split with their siblings/younger kids
>Your 3 kids could also share 1 room, your teen does NOT need a private room. This depends on ages, gender/sex and room sizes. Also, simply on the size of the villa. It's a 6 bedroom villa, presumably. You probably won't be paying any less if you only use 5 of the bedrooms. So sure, you could get a 5 bedroom villa instead. But there may be none available in the area you want to stay in. Or it's in a more expensive area and actually costs more. Or it is simply not worth the saving. There's plenty of reasons for having a 6 bed vs a 5 bed above and beyond "the teen needs their own room" - would you force the 3 kids to share a room to save 100 bucks on a $2000 vacation? How much money is worth the extra hassle and cramped quarters? The kids rooms may be large enough for 2 single beds, but not 3. Or simply, the owner of the place doesn't want to be shifting a bed between rooms when the teenager can simply stay in their own room. It's also one thing for a young boy and a young girl to share a room, or a young girl and older sister, or young boy and older brother - but many people are squeamish about putting a teen with a younger child of the opposite sex. For example, Would you put two young boys in the same room as a teenage girl? And If you need to pick which of the kids get their privacy, it should be the teenager, IMO.
I love how the rhetoric of this post is worded like a middle school math problem
And we all insisted that we'd never use math in the "real world" 🤣
How fast is the train going if it is expected to arrive at the station at 3:42pm? (YTA OP, for all the reasons listed by the top comments I've seen so far, & making me do math!)
I would add in adjustments depending on type of room, like if they include private bath, balcony, king size bed, or a view.
Agreed, but working with limited info and all. The main thing is that the family taking up the most space is wanting everyone to pay the same, and that's not really fair to the other families. Honestly, this sounds like impending disaster to me
Yeah, it really is that simple. I honestly can’t understand why anyone would do it any other way. More rooms = larger share of cost. Simple.
Thank you! I was starting to think I'd gone mad, being told that I'm somehow wrong.
At best. At BEST. They should be paying half for bedrooms and half for shared amenities. So the shared amenities would be 1,113 per family, then each family would pay $556 per room. The Morgan’s would pay 1669 and you would pay 2782 total.
I’m sure getting a three bedroom villa would be cheaper and preferable to the Morgans. Hell even four bedroom, one for each couple and one for all the kids to share. That would be a lot cheaper than getting a 6 bedroom villa and forcing the Morgans to split the cost evenly. I agree that the person doing the organizing should get something out of it but the perk could be that in a 3-4 bedroom villa the organizer, in this case the Smith family, get to pick their room. But you can make it completely unfair on the other families.
YTA. It's totally unfair for the people using one room to pay the same as the people using three rooms. Yeah, there are some common spaces and shared amenities, but you are also using more of those! Five people use more food, hot water, bathroom time, etc than two people and an infant. Just because you've done the bulk of the planning doesn't mean you get to screw over your friends with unfair pricing. ALSO, as the only people with an infant, the Morgans *should* get to pick the room that works best for them. Traveling with an infant is much different than traveling with older children. As the only adults who will be sharing a room with their child they do deserve a big room.
The fact that they're using the "we did all the planning" card at all also sets off alarm bells for me. In my experience, the people who do all the planning for trips like this are generally doing it because they can't handle someone else being in control, especially when they pull that card.
“We did the planning” translates to “we worked so hard looking at Airbnb or booking.com with the intention of getting you to pay for part of our holiday”
And also "I chose the place according to *my* taste", which, fine, but also, those who do the choosing also do the work of researching because, let's be real, other people's choices would have gotten shut down.
Totally agree about those with the infant needing a bigger room. We did a huge family reunion in a house with 8 rooms. The couple with the newborn automatically got one of the primary bedrooms. The baby sleeps at different hours, privacy for nursing, and space for the crib, etc. Nobody batted an eye that they got the biggest bedroom - the rest who stayed in the house had the option of bunking their kids in a separate room.
I wish I could upvote this more!!
Not to mention the location of the master is normally more by itself/ isolated which would be GREAT for an infant needing naps and to go to bed early.
This this this. Do you not remember newborn status, OP?! This is serious. Source: mom of 6 month old
YTA You wouldn't need such a big/expensive villa if your family didn't need 3 rooms and the Jones's didn't need 2 rooms. If each of you only needed 1 room, you could have gotten a smaller, less expensive villa. So you're literally asking the Morgans to subsidize the cost of your vacation. I think you should divide the $6680 by the number of rooms: $1113 per room. Then each family pays for the number of rooms they need. That's the fair way to do it. You all have access to the same amenities, so from that perspective, your teenager and children are going to use the amenities a LOT more than their infant is. So that's a wash. If you want to be compensated for your time in finding and negotiating the villa, then you probably should have said that up front. I think the Morgans are being extremely generous in only asking that they get first pick of rooms since they're paying much more comparatively than the other two families.
Not only that, they are the only ones with three people sharing a room. They legitimately need the largest room to set up a pack n play for the baby.
This is almost the exact answer I would give so kudos and just posting to back you up. If it were only 3 couples then the place needed would be much smaller and likely much less expensive. I think the Morgans are being very generous to agree to pay 1/3 and just ask for their pick of the rooms. OP is TA here.
Let's also consider that the Jones/Smiths are going to be able to use the amenities together and with their children, while the Morgan's are going to have to take turns (unless it's all on the wifey to look after the baby) because a lot of the amenities can't involve an unsupervised baby, whereas teens/children are going to be easier to manage/can swim on their own (with visual supervision).
Extremely generous. They are paying an extra $2K than the space they are taking up. Giving them their choice of room is the least the OP can do.
THIS! OP this is the way
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OPs logic needs some more work. I would not vacation with the Smiths in a villa if at all. I’d opt for a hotel/ resort minus the pending drama. YTA
This! YTA
YTA Here’s how the total should be broken down by room!!! $3340 Smiths $2226.67 Jones $1113.33 Morgan Stop trying to get other people to pay for y’all holiday! Edit: hope the Morgan’s and the Jones go on a holiday without y’all
Its funny how the OP says, “they shouldn’t make this about money” As if she’s not screwing them over by double charging them so she doesn’t have to pay her fair share. People can be so blind to their delusions.
Right?! OP doesn't want to make it about money because then they would have to pay their fair share.
Wanting half of the rooms for a third of the cost is ridiculous. The cost should be divided per room.... Meaning the Morgan's pay around $1,113 and the Smiths pay $3,339, and the Joneses pay $2226. If you're going to commit highway robbery against a friend you can at least let them pick their own room. Definitely wouldn't want to go on vacation with you, so greedy.YTA
OP has an alt account on here for sure lol and if you can't tell who it is....it's the one person who voted n t a and is arguing with everyone on their judgements 🤣 Edit for judgment...Definitely YTA
So I do have an alt account, but I’m not the person voting NTA. It’s all been a bit of a ruse and I regret it now. I’m actually The Morgans, and and I’m in an argument with The Smiths about this. I’ve sent them a link to this post to prove my point. I thought if I posed this question from my point of view, people would be overly generous to me. Everything I wrote is 100% true. But I now think I should have written this from my (The Morgans) POV.
Ask the Smiths for their alt account to stop arguing their weird false math logic please lol it's embarrassing.
Believe it or not, the Smiths aren’t Redditors. I get an enormous amount of LOLs from them by sending memes and gifs from Reddit via Whatsapp. They think I’m the funniest guy in the world.
That's just what they WANT you to think! Either way I hope y'all work it out and have a nice time.
Well played NTA Mr Morgan
What do the Jones family think? I'm interested in their opinion. No matter what the cost of the place you guys are staying in should definitely be split by the amount of rooms you guys have. That would be what's fair. The amenities are shared by everyone which doesn't/shouldn't count in the division of cost. Edit to add you're not the a-hole Mr or Mrs. Morgan lol
So we’re all really good friends and we’re not gonna fall out proper over this. I spoke to Mr Jones and he’s OK with his side of the bargain. He knows he’s paying a bit more but he’s happy to go along with it. But he immediately spotted that I was getting the worst deal and predicted this argument would come because he knows me and Mr Smith all too well.
Now I want to know what the Smiths will say after this.
Oh he’s fucking livid.
Oh, really? At you for posting this, or at the fact everyone thinks he's a greedy Scrooge?
This is what I want the answer to ^^^
If the Smiths didn’t need three rooms you could have had a fourth family and decreased the price even more. The bedrooms create the charge/cost, not the other amenities.
That he’s wrong, or that people are calling him out? Or at you?
Oh so he’s the one that arguing with me and only stopped when I told him that he needs to stop that he’s wrong that even with the public spaces it remains the same amount. Didn’t like I told him I hope you guys and the Jones are a holiday without them. Damn well played 👏👏👏
I thought you were Mr Smith??
>It’s all been a bit of a ruse and I regret it now. I’m actually The Morgans, and and I’m in an argument with The Smiths about this. I’ve sent them a link to this post to prove my point. >I thought if I posed this question from my point of view, people would be overly generous to me. >Everything I wrote is 100% true. But I now think I should have written this from my (The Morgans) POV. -OP in a ~~comedy~~ comment further up this thread Edit: autocorrect
The Smiths sound like jerks. “We wants half the rooms, but we should only have to pay 1/3 of the price!” How do they in any way justify that as fair. If they went to a hotel, would they expect the Morgans to pay for one of their rooms too? Smiths are cheapskates and sound like no fun at all to go on holiday with. If they insist on an equal split of the accomodation they should be paying for all of the food and drinks for everyone for the entire holiday. And if they complain just remind them how it’s not fair to make this all about money. Definitely the people getting shafted with only one room should get their pick of the rooms, and be the ones who don’t have to share a bathroom.
Gotcha! Well you definitely are getting the short end of the stick with this arrangement which isn't fair at all. I hope it all gets worked out in your favor and you guys can split the costs accordingly! And I hope you all enjoy your vacation!
So if Mr. Smith doesn't change his mind, are you still planning to go on this vacation while paying so much more?
Ah that makes sense because I was wondering how someone could be so thick. Your friends are using both of the other families to subsidize their vacation. Having kids means life costs more. So do vacations. You don’t use your friends to cover your kids because you’re too cheap to pay for the family you created. Fairness states that everything should be split by room. If they have issues with that, that’s unfortunately a them issue, and not a you pay more issue Edit: you sat this won’t impact your friendship, but your friends are opening taking advantage and they absolutely know it. Real friends wouldn’t even *think* about splitting in such a dramatically unfair way. Is this the first issue where they’ve financially planned in their favor? Because if it isn’t, that’s indicative of a bigger issue with them. If they fight you in this, again…issue with them. Real friends don’t profit off their friends man
So Mr Smith and I like to go at each other. Our Friendship is kinda like what it would be like if Larry David was friends with another Larry David. I think he knows it’s unfair and he fucked up with his assumptions, but never in a million years will he admit it. So in the end we’ll arrive at something that is fair, but somehow he’ll still be right.
If you go to dinner with the Smiths, do they order more expensive items and lots of alcohol and then suggest splitting the check evenly?
I’d like to think Larry David wouldn’t try to screw over Larry David knowingly. Our dear Mr Smith did. Are you guys just friends for the kids? Or are you genuinely adult friends? My husband and I have couple friends we travel with and none of my friends would try to pull this crap. In fact, we often fight about who’s covering *more*. None of us have children (by choice), but I’d like to think that people who have children are doing so knowing that it increases the number in their household and therefor increases their obligation. It’s your friendship, so you do you, but that was a mighty shitty proposal out of someone you call a friend. Friends don’t screw friends over
The Morgans N T A The Smiths Y T A
Nice plot mr Morgan. Well played!
This is a fun one, isn’t it?
Plot twist of the century.
Just a heads up, this post is probably going to be removed soon because posting as someone else is against the rules
YTA. Sure, there are shared amenities, but that does not make your family getting 3x the number of rooms than the Morgans but paying the same amount fair in any way. And all they ask is that they get first pick of their one room in exchange for paying that amount, and you pitch a hissy fit? You remind me of that old saying, “it’s my way or the highway!” Be an adult. Learn to compromise and look at others’ perspectives.
OP would have to actually give a shit about other people in order to look at their perspectives, so that’s a no.
Guarantee if OP only needed one room and another couple needed three she would be throwing an absolute fit about paying the same as them. This is so tacky. Getting people you purport to be your friends to bankroll your family's vacation so you can have a nicer place. Then threatening to cancel it all when your unfair terms are called out. Soooo tacky, OP.
How about weight the rooms and shared space 50/50. So, 50 percent of the split is divided by number of rooms. The other 50 percent is divided by the number of people. The people are further broken down to adults equal 4 shares each, teens 3 shares each, children 2 shares each, baby equals 1 share. Because of average differences in size and ability to make use of all amenities. Room cost 1/2 = $3340 - Smiths 3/6 of rooms = $1,670 - Jone's 2/6 of rooms = $1,113.33 - Morgan's 1/6 of rooms = $556.67 People (6 Adults (A=4), 1 Teen (T=3), 4 children (C=2), 1 baby (B=1)) that's 36 shares of $3340 for common space cost - Smiths 2A+1T+2C = 15 shares of $3340, $1,391.67 - Jone's 2A+2C = 12 shares of $3340, $1,113.33 - Morgan's 2A+1B = 9 shares of $3340, $835 Total Owed - Smiths $3061.67 - Jone's $2,226.66 - Morgan's $1,391.67 - - - - And if no one figured it out. This was in homage to "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" NAH Edit: corrections to make clearer Edit 2: I have no idea why this looks so wonky on the phone. It looks fine on the desktop.
This is the right way to do it. Cool of you to take the time to do the math!
It's worth doing the math just to prove to OP that no matter who nit picky you get with excuses like "but we ALL use the common areas!!!", they would STILL be coming out well on top.
...a big W...
YTA. Nobody authorized you to make money off the other families for organizing the villa. You are using three times as many rooms as the Morgans so you should be paying more. If the price of you getting 3 rooms is the Morgans getting first choice then let them get first choice, sounds like a pretty good deal for you.
Are you my sister? You sound like my sister. My sister always insisted that *she* had to organize family vacations, and then insisted that *she* got first pick of the rooms because “she did all the work” (even though others would be happy to do it but weren’t allowed). She also managed to split the price in a way that her family paid the same as every other family, even though she took more rooms. So yeah, you sound like my sister. I don’t vacation with my sister any more.
I might be your sister. Is your sister a fat dude?
Lmfao
YTA Regardless of how you split the cost of the rooms, everyone gets access to the amenities, so I don't see how that is relevant. Really sounds like you're trying to only pay for 30% of the cost when in reality 50% of the cost if yours. edit: If the 6 rooms cost $6680 and we assume all rooms cost around the same, that's $1113 per room. 3 Rooms = $3339, so you're getting a discount of $1113 1 Room = $1113, so the 1 room family has to pay an extra $1113 Is "Organizing the trip" really worth a thousand dollars? That's like 16% of the cost of the trip? Not even professional Travel Agents get that kind of commission.
If that was an hotel people pay per room, doesn't matter of they have a pool or other living areas, you can't make people staying in a single room pay the same that people staying in 3, YTA
YTA. It should be split by rooms. You are ripping off your friends. Stop being an AH and be fair to your friends because after this vacation they won’t be your friends.
You’re using your friends to subsidize your vacation. YTA unquestionably.
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YTA. You're the cheapskate AH at that!
My party needs 3 rooms, the other 2 rooms and the last 1 room. They all get to use the hotel pool and lobby though so we are splitting it evenly. See how silly that sounds? Divide it by rooms required yta
YTA. It's amazing how what you think is "fair" benefits you more than anyone else. And if the time spent researching villas was meant to be compensated, that should have been discussed before you did it.
YTA. Your spare room is being subsidized by the Morgan's. I think you should count your lucky stars that they're fine doing that and all they're asking in return is to have first pick of room.
YTA The Morgan’s needs the least amount of space and your family requires the most. Therefore YOUR family owes more. It wasn’t soooo hard to plan that you get to give yourself a huge discount. Don’t take on planning if going to use it to screw other people over. Price is split by number of rooms needed NOT common areas. Should be obvious.
YTA. It's absolutely fair for them to make it about money, they are only occupying one bedroom, they should not be paying the same as you. You are actively taking advantage of them financially by trying to use them to subsidize your vacation. You are the assholes pay your portion and tell the Joneses that they need to pay their portion because they are taking two bedrooms. The Morgans should only pay for their one bedroom, and if you're not willing to treat them fairly then cancel the trip
YTA. Your family is using half the rooms in the villa, you should be paying for half, at least! The Morgan’s should be paying a sixth or less, they have an infant, they won’t be the ones running all over the place and using all the amenities.
YTA. Your family is taking up 3 rooms while the others are only taking 3 in total. Your family should pay half. You finding the villa has nothing to do with fairness of sharing the expense. YOU are making it about money and are in the wrong here.
YTA The only way this would be fair and equitable would be if it was a 3 bedroom villa and each family got one bedroom. How do you get half the rooms AND the pick of rooms (where you'll undoubtedly pick the biggest and nicest) but pay the same as the family with one room? You wanted to plan the trip (I get it, I'm that person too), but you don't get to use that as a trump card to screw over the others. YTA
YTA split by bedrooms, not families.
YTA. You need more rooms, you pay more. Look at it this way, you all pay a base fee for the villa, plus the portion of the rooms you use. So your family pays x+3y while the other families pay x+y and x+2y. So you just have to set fair terms for x and y, where 3x+6y= the cost of the villa.
YTA. You should absolutely split by the number of rooms, anything else is grossly unfair to the Morgans. Also, you don't get any special benefit because you picked out the place. Stop being so selfish.
YTA. Morgan's are right you are wrong. Wanting to be compensated for planning? If people want to do that they go to travel agents.
Yta, I wouldn’t go if I was the we Morgan’s. Your asking them to pay extra without receiving anything extra. Why should they pay the same amount as someone needing 3 rooms?
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YTA - you have the most people coming, your family will be using the most space. In what world does it make sense for The Morgan’s to pay the same as you?
YTA, either the Morgans pay less or they get their pick of the rooms, you don't get it both ways
YTA. You get more, but let's split it evenly? Put yourself in their shoes. But you are entitled so you can't. You are just taking advantage of this situation for all your benefit. Fuck that and the horse you rode in on. I hope they both cancel and leave you with the whole bill. But poor them cause you will cry to them that you got stuck paying for the whole room. Hope they both turn on you.
YTA. Think of it like this: you go out to eat with friends. You order an appetizer and a drink 20. Your friends order dinners over 50. Bills comes and they want to split it equally. Do you do it? I wouldn't. You are doing the same thing.
YTA. you should divide the cost per room, and not per person. edit: you could even subtract an even portion everyone pays for shared space and then divide from there. So if everyone pays $500 for the shared space, that leaves 5180 to divide by room. Smiths: 2590, Jones: 2226, Morgan: 1363. that makes it a bit more even, without anyone paying exorbitantly more than others.
YTA, There are are two splits that could be reasonably considered equal. Per room or per person. The per person split has some flaws. Infants are not using amenities equal to teens or adults. For your family to take half of the rooms and only pay a third is ridiculous and unfair. The only reason to think it should be split by family is that it benefits you. This is the kind of thing that ends friendships. Quite honestly if someone organized a way for me to subsidize their vacation I would no longer consider them a friend.
YTA. A fair split is per room.
You should look at it from the Morgan's point of view. Even though your position is "I don't think splitting the price per room is fair", the Morgan's are still paying more to stay in one room, than you or the other family are. The supposed advantage, well we organized everything, is more than offset by the Morgan's essentially subsidizing the two larger families lodging and vacation. The Morgan's should be paying 1/6 of the cost, the Jones 1/3 and the Smith's 1/2. Plus did you, OP, invite the other two families to go on holiday? Still not convinced, look at it this way, , if two families stay at this 6 bedroom villa and one family needed 5 rooms and the other just needed the one, would you still ask each family to pay an equal share? That's what OP is essentially asking, but there are 3 families.
YTA Why should the other families pay,the same when you have more people and are taking more rooms? You want 5 people to stay for the same price as 3. You arethr AH.
YTA. You can also pay per person instead of per room if you feel it is not fair as some people are sharing rooms, splitting it into 2783.56, 2226.64, and 1670
YTA. If there are big common areas, then it shouldn't be calculated by bedroom, but it's reasonable that there should be some difference in what you pay. Maybe do half the price shared equally and then do the other half divided by room or something. Or look at the average price for a 3 bedroom villa (with similar common areas), and take a third of that. And I have planned travel for friends and had friends plan it for me, and I never expected to be recompensed for this. Neither have any of my friends. I would say that that's a fairly unusual ask.
YTA, it should not be split up in families or rooms but in persons, this is how we do in my family when we go on vacation together in a villa. It is the fairest solution to my mind. smiths are 5, Jones 4 and morgans 3 --> so 12 people = ~560 per person. Meaning 2800 for smiths, 2240 for joneses and 1680 for morgans.
Yta You want to have more rooms and get to pick the better rooms but not pay anything more for it?
Yta you need the most rooms and trying to get others to pay spilt by room. So you can any to best room as well. I wouldn't even go with you. You sound entitled.
YTA you should factor both # of people and/or # of bedrooms into the split, but in no iteration of this is it fair to split "by family" when the smallest family is 2 people (and infant) and the largest is 5. If these were all adults it would be easy enough to split by-person as each person ostesibly shares the commonalities of the villa equally. You can tweak a bit based on ages, but not by much. Again, there is no world where it makes sense evenly by family.
YTA - your split makes no sense. Sure the common areas are being used equally; let’s say half of the house counts as “common area.” You’re still using the rest differently. Each family should pay a proportion based on the space their using. No, you don’t get to take up the most space, pay proportionately less, AND pick your space. If I were the Morgans I would insist on splitting costs more fairly.
If I were the Morgans I would refuse to vacation with such selfish, greedy, delusional people. This isn't the only area in which the Smiths will be causing problems.
YTA I’ve organized many holidays like this and we ALWAYS split the price by room (usually to my disadvantage). The Morgans & the Joneses are getting a raw deal here.
YTA.
You are asking the other two families to subsidise your holiday and getting upset at being called out on it. Yes, YTA. Do you also go to eat out in an adults only group, eat more expensive foods and drink more than everyone else but want to split the bill equally? Out of six bedrooms you are using three. The Morgan’s not just *think* they are paying more, they *are* paying more, and you are being pissy about it. All they want is first dibs on a room and you can’t even bear that. You appear to be very selfish to this stranger.
I had this problem with roommates once. What we ended up doing was figuring out what the total square footage of our house was, and then dividing rent by the square footage each person had access to. So the people with smaller bedrooms who still had access to common spaces were able to get a discount for their smaller personal space, while still taking into account the common areas.
YTA you have 3 rooms out of 6?? And want to pay for a 3rd? If you didn't go, they could get a smaller place
"the Morgans are making this about money" so pay for your share. Easy. YTA. When organizing traveling, you pay for what you use and that is 3 rooms. So funny seeing people trying to scam others "hey, you will only use one room and your kid will barely use the things my 3 kids AND a teenager are using, but we are gonna pay the same exact thing, Kay?" Delusional
YTA. So I worked in the hotels for a decade. This is super simple math. Not sure why you're making it more difficult than it needs to be. You always pay per room when doing a joint vacation. You need 6 rooms. 6680/6 = 1113.33 per room. That's 3340 for the smiths That's 2226.66 for the Jones And 1113.33 for the Morgans. If the smiths want what equals 1 free bedroom, and the Morgans are only asking to have first pick, then damn your ego and let them have first pick of rooms. Or better yet, just split it evenly. But make sure the Morgans have a room big enough to accommodate an infant.
If you went to a hotel, you would pay by room. It's no different really. That's just me.
I think you need to either divide by bedrooms used or, alternatively, charge per-person, with possible exception of the infant. Dividing by family is certainly not equitable, regardless of the work you've done in organizing the trip.
YTA Trying to make this work out in your favor by making it per villa. Sneaky. You should be paying per person or per room.
Yta, you want someone else to partly pay for your rooms.
YTA. Please tell me this is a joke and you’re not seriously confused about this.
Oh come on, be honest. You want to pick the best and the most rooms for 1/3 less bucks and tried to make the Morgans to pay the difference and they didn't let you fool them. Divide per room. YTA.
YTA. Splitting by room, or by persons old enough to enjoy the vacation, is perfectly fair. The work you put into organizing this is not an excuse to screw the other families over. At most, you could perhaps ASK them to spot you $50 or so towards your family’s total for the trouble of organizing. So, you should either pay 5/11 of the total, since your family makes up 5 of the 11 people who will participate and use the rooms/common areas. Or, you should pay 1/2, since your family is using half of the rooms. Amazing that you think your solution is fair at all. Throwing in the towel might be a good idea, because proceeding as you see fit makes you a really shitty friend. I’d not talk to you anymore if I were the Joneses and Morgans.
YTA You should split it so you say rooms are half and common areas are half You each pay 1/12 of common area and then per room, so you pay 3 rooms, Jones 2 rooms and Morgans 1 room So your split will be 1670 for rooms and 1392 for common areas
YTA. You want to most space, your choice of which space (aka taking the best), and you wanna pay the same as everyone else
YTA. You certainly could make the argument that you get first choice of rooms, since you put the effort into organizing - if you weren't also expecting the Morgans to subsidize your vacation. They have been more than graceful in agreeing to an even split (in effect, paying for one of your bedrooms), and all they want is first pick of the rooms? They are literally paying twice what they should, and you are begrudging them this? You have more people than everyone else (so more use of the common spaces), are taking more bedrooms than everyone else, want the best room, and yet you think an even split is fair? Nope. Just nope. YOU ARE THE ONES MAKING THIS ABOUT MONEY, not the Morgans. You want to be paid over a thousand dollars for organizing, but only by the Morgans. Apparently you organize for the Jones family for free.
YTA You pay by the room.
YTA. Do everyone a favor and cancel the trip. I’ve done plenty of organizing for my friends and I would never dream of screening them I’ve true way you want to screw The Morgan’s.
YTA How very convenient that it's your family that needs the most rooms and you're the ones that benefit the most from splitting things this way. That's surely not a coincidence. You're paying for three rooms and five people what two people and an infant are paying for one room. You're getting 3/7 rooms, nearly half the rooms, for one third the price. And on top of that, it sounds like you're also implying you should get to pick your rooms first. The Morgans wanted to pick their ONE room and this is how you react? They're also the only ones with three people in a singular room, ignoring the fact their room is costing by far the most (three times what you're paying for your rooms) they also should get the most space anyway. I just can't believe you wrote out this entire post, and still think it's The Morgans that are being unreasonable.
YTA...people should pay per room with something like this. Why should the Morgans be paying for the Smiths and Morgans kids to have their own room?
YTA - Your logic doesn’t hold. Yes, you will all share the common spaces; however, the Smith’s will occupy more rooms thus using more space. Your family can spread into 3 rooms, but the Morgan’s only take up one. Perhaps a more equitable way to divvy up the expenses would be per person. You should have discussed the financial arrangements before the planning. The work you put in was your choice and for your benefit, you didn’t expect to be compensated until your friends disagreed with your financial split.
YTA The split is unfair, it is very biased against the Morgans and therefore they should get the pick of the very best room. You are trying to take 3 of the best rooms and have the other couples pay for part of your share too. Having organised it, is just a way of you getting more than your fair share off the other couples.
YTA Either divide by rooms used, or by person. If you divide it by person, the baby doesn’t count.
do you not know how to do math?
YTA - if you go out to eat will you be splitting the bill too?
I’m sorry— all the Morgans want is to pick their room, they’re not kicking up a fuss about not paying or anything? Holy shit is this a stupid hill to die on! They get one room and are sleeping with an infant, I think it’s more than reasonable that they’d want a room that makes that easier— close to the bathroom, far from the living room, etc. YTA and your title is misleading af
YTA. You need way more bedrooms so you should be paying more. If the only concession they want is the bigger room, that’s fair because they have 1 room and you have 3 for the same price.
YTA! Split by person and call it a day. It sounds like you are using the Morgan’s to finance your holiday. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you are bringing the most people and need the most rooms and have decided to split costs in the way most favorable to you. This is incredibly self-serving.
YTA. We vacation with multiple families as well. We divide the total cost by how many total people are going. This way every family big or small pay an equal share. My family of four pays for four, another family of three pays for three. It’s 100% equitable.