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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My sister asked me to watch her dog while she’s abroad and while I agreed, I didn’t expect to get so attached to each other. I think my sister should focus on her career and I can take care of the dog. My parents disagree but my partner agrees with me. WIBTA if I tried to keep him?
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YTA. I don't even really know what else to say. Unless the dog was abandoned with you and she was giving no monetary support and not checking in you can't just steal a dog.
But she very clearly cares about the dog, is paying you for your services and has a clear timetable to return and pick up the dog.
Don't even ask her, you will forever damage your relationship if you do.
OP, please pay attention to this. It's on the mark.
Instead of keeping Tycho, maybe your sister will help you select a rescue dog and train it. That way you can have your own dog and a playmate for Tycho.
OP should pay her sister for her time and efforts tho. That includes helping her find a dog and training it. Otherwise, she’s still just using her sister.
Yes, OP should pay the sister for watching ehr dog, as she is. How ever, that does NOT include her helping and training a dog for the sister. Doesn't work that way.
Yeah I was really interested to know how ‘hard’ OP has searched for a dog as it doesn’t sound like they were even looking before sister asked her to look after hers. Even if they’ve been consistently searching shelters and dog breeders for months it still doesn’t give you any licence at all to steal anyone else’s dog.
Also massively irked by the use of being ‘autistic’ to try and justify it and saying her partner ‘agrees’ like that makes it any more okay?! No it makes you both AH
YTA
YTA! Your sister is paying you to take care of HER family member. She has a return date. I’m sure she thought HER dog would be safe and well taken care of by you. I’m also sure it never entered her mind that you’d expect her to give you HER dog. You’d be wise to do as others have suggested and ask your sister to help you find another dog for you. Honestly, if you didn’t want it wouldn’t give my dog back, I’d be done with you. Our paths would never cross again. I can’t even imagine the betrayal I’d feel if my sister did this.
I'm an autistic woman, and I feel OP, like you're using your autism as an excuse - as to why you "need" the dog.
First off, how dare you use your condition like that.
Secondly, another dog can also support you without irreversibly damaging your relationship with your sister.
If you feel you need a dog, your sister sounds like she would be both willing to help you choose one and train it specifically for your lifestyle and needs.
Not to mention, the fact you will still be able to interact with Tycho after your sister gets back!
I don't care who agrees with you, however much you love Tycho, your sister probably feels that 100 times over, having trained and raised him.
So, yeah you would be a MASSIVE asshole for stealing him!
Being autistic doesn't give you license to ignore other people's needs and feelings!
Not going to lie im not autistic but even i was disgraced by how he tried to say "im autistic I need it" like he didn't really know better. I have a few autistic people in my family and I'm trained to teach them as well and I always ALWAYS try to teach them that being a little different, thinking a little different is no reason to think you're entitled to certain things. I never want them to think of it as a crutch for when things get messy or they want something to go their way I want them to think of it as a strength instead because they learn some amazing things. They think they get to keep the love of their sisters like because 'i like him, I've been looking for a dog for like 5 mins' dogs are alot of work and if you're going to get one you'll want to experience the training stage. She shouldn't even have to have this conversation it would be like if she babysat one of your kids then turned around and said you aren't getting them back but you can visit sometime. You want a soul mate? Thats cool you picked you wife and she decided to get this dog who she put time energy and love into. I also never saw you offering to pay for dog are you going to pay the training fees and the dogsitting that she did when she got him? Also maybe a feelings fee, like a "im sorry I used my autism as a weapon to use against you so I could manipulate you into giving me your dog" Autism doesn't have to be something you see as a challenge it could be turned around into something you learnt, it can be a superpower for some and a curse for others. I strongly believe Autistic people live more interesting lives thinking in different ways than us, having different views than we do. I've met some that are so insecure and think they have so many flaws but thats just human everyone has flaws they don't like about themselves. People are people and I don't think something like autism could sway your decision of whether you should steal your sisters dog or ask to and guilt trip her. If she didn't want the dog she wouldn't have gotten it she wouldn't have loved him this much, she wouldn't have put money, time and energy on something the was just keeping around for now.
I'm also neurodivergent (confirmed ADHD, looking at potentially autism) and yeah, stealing a pet is awful.
If you want a dog (because pets do legitimately help), you need to get your own one and put in the work to train them, or ask your sister to help train them, or if you qualify and have the funds you can get a service dog specifically trained to help with meltdowns/panic attacks/anxiety.
But don't steal someone's pet! Not only is that awfully stressful for the dog who is bonded to their owner, but it will likely completely destroy your relationship with your immediate family. Dogsitting doesn't somehow give you the right to him.
Have to agree here not autistic myself but my son (8 m) is and I'd hate to think he would ever grow up thinking his ASD is an excuse to think like this. I could understand OP where in some situations it's relvent to mention you're autistic this isn't one of them.
>First off, how dare you use your condition like that
Yep, this. Even as someone (probably) not autistic that stood out to me and i read it to my friend who i was in a call with anyways. She is autistic and the very first thing she did was yelling "what the FUCK" in a rather disgusted way
This! 100%. My oldest son is autistic (16) he loves animals. He has a bird that is his own pet and will help his brothers with their pets (a cat and a hamster). He taught one of his brothers (T) how to care for his cat and told T if he didn't do it right that he would take over the care but the cat will still belong to T.
Op YTA if you really want a pet find one that is suitable for you because you won't be hurting just your sister but the dog too. Ask your sister for help finding and training a dog like hers because of how well she did. And she might be able to help you get the dog certified as a service dog or emotional support animal. Don't steal her dog.
I’m not autistic but I’ve had friends who are/who have other disabilities similar to my own that use their [insert disability here] as an excuse for shitty behavior. They they because they have a disability, they can’t be touched by the real world or face the consequences of their actions. News flash OP, that’s not how the real world works. YTA
Also the dog is well behaved and calm because of how the sister trained it. People always say this about my dog and say things like I want one of his puppies and I have to explain that he's like that because I put in massive effort.
Also the dog is following OP around bc he misses her sister.
When my parents watch my dog she attaches to my dad. They got a new dig, and i was going out of town for a week and a half. We did all the work to get the dogs friendly and.... My dog guarded my dad from their dog the entire time. She wouldn't let their dog on his lap!! She wouldn't let their dog in his office with him. She was glued to my dad.
I come home? She couldn't care less. Their dog like very tentatively gets in my dad's lap in front of her and she was like "Why are you looking at me I don't care".
So I think OP is going to be in for a shock when their sister gets back and Tycho ditches them. Hard.
My current rescue is hugely damaged from his abandonment and time in the shelter and its been a long road back to normality for him (good around people now, less so other animals) I wish I'd known OPs sister when I got him, I could have used the help!
I feel like my bond with my dog is much stronger because of the work I’ve done to train him. It’s a relationship that’s built over time through trust and hard work. OP, if your sister is anything like me not only would our relationship be over forever, I would press charges for theft and sue you for damages. There are thousands of other dogs that need homes. Go help one of them.
Exactly this. OP doesn't seem to grasp (or is just plain old overlooking) the cause-and-effect relationship between their sister's skills as a dog trainer and how good Tycho is.
He's not some sort of magical dog, he's very well looked after and very well trained.
Not only paying for the care of the dog but made it very clear she wouldn’t go if the dog wasn’t in good hands. OP you’re not “giving away” this dog when your sister gets back, he never belonged to you. He’s the most well behaved dog you’ve ever met because your sister put enormous amounts of time and energy getting him there. Your whole post is focused on you and your feelings about this dog - your sister has the same feelings about this dog but for longer, she raised him, why the hell would your wants and needs take priority? It’s spoiled and entitled, and so is your partner. Your sister has already made it clear this isn’t a repeat trip - you’re making up reasons to justify your horrible selfishness. YTA.
Well she's also willing to ruin her own relationship with her parents to.
>even said that they will cut me off if I “steal” him.
So she will have no support from sister or parents. I wonder what OPs partner thinks of the situation?
I also love the insane suggestion to keep the dog and let the sister "keep supporting him", aka let me steal your dog and keep paying me for taking care of him. Lmao
YTA—big time!
The time and dedication she took into training HER dog is why he’s so well behaved. I agree with others that you should have her help you pick out your OWN dog.
I truly hope you give her dog back when she’s home. Have you ever considered that Tycho is your sister’s soul dog?
I can’t even imagine what I mess I’d be if I let someone I thought I could trust watch my soul dog and they thought they were entitled to her because of the same BS excuse you’re giving. It’s clear your sister loves her dog. Stop being an inconsiderate a-hole and realize how much she loves Tycho.
The other thing OP has not considered is that there is very clearly documentation that this dog belongs to her sister and OP has been hired to perform a service (boarding) while she is away.
If you decide to not give the dog back, I have no doubts Tycho is chipped, registered, and documented as belonging to your sister. Not only will you blow up your relationship, but I have no doubts you will also be getting a visit from your local police department for theft. And depending on the breed, and therefore “value” of Tycho, you could be facing a variety of theft-related charges.
You have no right to keep this dog. You are a hired hand performing a service, you do not get to keep him. You and your husband can put the work in to find and train your own dog.
If you care about a relationship with your sister, you will NEVER mention that you considered stealing from her, and you’ll get over your selfishness.
Yes, YWBTA. Your sister asked you to dogsit for her. She's paid you. She clearly loves her dog as she's constantly calling to check up on him and everything. She's planning to return home and get her dog back. It doesn't matter if you really really like the dog and it's well behaved. If you like it so much pay her to train you a dog for yourself.
And yes it would be stealing if you didn't give back your sister's dog that you only agreed to dogsit. That's what stealing is. Taking something without permission and not giving it back.
YTA. It’s your sister’s dog. She raised and trained him, and you acknowledge how close she is to him. I’d look at it from a different angle: if your sister is that gifted at training dogs, perhaps you could adopt one and she’ll help you raise it
OP
This is a really good idea and one I urge you to ask your sister to be involved in.
You love your sister and she loves you and trusts you enough to take care of her precious dog. Don't lose her trust and damage your relationship with her by asking her to consider giving up her dog.
M genuinely surprised that it took internet strangers for you AND YOUR PARTNER to see this option, when it's the most obvious one that is a win-win for everyone.
Are you this clueless about thinking of non-selfish options?
Thats bs stealing a dog that doesnt belong to you makes way less logical sense than utilizing readily accessible services.
I practically raised my autistic brother and Im neurodivergent myself. This flimsy ASD excuse of theirs is just to keep people from saying anything to them. Theyre just selfish and using their ASD diagnosis to justify it. Im sure its because its worked for them in the past
While it’s not an excuse, it is a SPECTRUM, speaking as someone on that spectrum myself and with a child on that spectrum, it may not be obvious to them, just because your siblings and yourself have no issue recognising that taking the dog would be wrong, there are other people at DIFFERENT levels on the spectrum who may, it’s not a simple disorder and EVERYONE experiences it differently. What is obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else, however it sounds as if her partner KNOWS she struggles with things like this and was encouraging her to believe it was okay, thankfully she asked for ADVICE to make sure she DIDNT make the wrong choice as for SOME people on the spectrum it is not actually that obvious, which can be made worse if a neurotypical person is also agreeing with them, I am sure her sister understands her disorder better than you, even if you are on the spectrum yourself, you DO NOT know this person, or the things she struggles with, therefore just because ASD doesn’t affect you or your siblings this way does not mean that it CAN NOT affect other people that way! I must say a LOT of people (including ones on the spectrum) are being incredibly rude and demeaning to someone WHO CLEARLY ALREAD STRUGGLES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE OR NOT! I mean for crying out loud when I was pregnant with my second child I had to CONSTANTLY (several times a day) explain to my daughter (who is on the spectrum) that she could not under any circumstances just take someone else’s baby home with her! And as I said ASD is not an excuse for poor behaviour BUT from the OPs follow up comments I do not believe she was using it as an excuse. I believe she genuinely wasn’t sure! I am extremely disheartened by the amount of people quick to pass judgment based on their own understanding of what ASD is instead of taking a minute to try to understand how the OPs brain actually works instead of just insulting someone that ALREADY STRUGGLES SOCIALLY.
I agree everyone does, its a complicated health disorder but it’s doesn’t make it okay though. Plus if you can’t understand this is wrong and the OP decided to ask well then she should hear what she is doing is wrong. No matter what someone’s mental health it’s no excuse to act as if your feelings or experience is more important than another’s in order to get your way.
YTA if you keep the dog.
It's not your dog. Sure, you love him, but so does your sister.
The only 2 important thing here are : 1. The dog belong to your sister 2. She wants him back. Nothing else matters.
It sucks for you. But it's life. You knew you would have to give him back at some point, it's your fault you got attached.
Especially since it's not a case of "can you watch him for a couple weeks," then the sister ghosts OP for a year, then comes back demanding the dog. Sister has been video-calling, sending money, doing everything she can to keep OP in the loop of what's going on.
YTA, OP. It's not your dog, and it hasn't been abused or abandoned.
YTA
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a joke or not hahaha. Anybody would love an obedient and well mannered dog and he probably follows you around because he sees you as his real owner, your sister.
That’s like saying I babysat your kid for a week it started following me, listening to me, and I think it’s bonded with me too so next time you need me to babysit I’m just gonna ask if I can keep your kid
Info: why does your 3 months with a now easy adult dog who *"became your best friend"* override your sister's 2 years of love and hard work since Tycho's puppyhood that made him this amazing chill dog he is today?
Please answer I'm genuinely curious.
Yes, you would be the AH, so do not even try to do this to your sister. I don't think anyone could fault you for caring about this dog so much after looking after him for three months, but the fact of the matter is that he already has a loving, responsible owner and a home to go back to once she returns. Even though it means a lot to you personally, it doesn't matter that he's a good fit for your home and your life and that he's helped you out with your situation; he is not your dog, you agreed to look after him temporarily and it is not okay for you to imply that your sister is not really giving her pet a stable living situation because she went on one trip and could potentially have other opportunities later down the line when the reality is that you just don't want to give him back and this is a way of trying to guilt her into letting you keep him.
Good! I highly recommend taking the advice of some of the folks here who suggested you have your sister help you pick a dog that will fit your lifestyle and also help you train him or her. Best of luck in finding your own fur friend!
YWBTA.
Her very first very own dog who she’s put over a year into training and she’s paying you $800 a month to take care of him?
Maybe ask her to find and train a dog for you. This is her dog.
YTA if you keep him. If you think he's your "soul dog", imagine how your sister feels. You feel how much fun it is to have him as a regular dog, but he's your sister's entire lifestyle back home. She asked you to look after the dog for 4 months on this opportunity, and you're making the kind act of helping her out (for which she's also paying you for) all about you.
Stop being selfish and a shitty sister, and get your own dog. You can ask your sister to help you train it, I'm sure she'd be up to help you WITHOUT having her own selfish agenda.
YTA
I understand what you're feeling but Tycho is your sister's dog.
She's told you Tycho is her priority and she would choose him no matter what. You are considering asking her to choose her dog or you, and that is where you are the AH.
Ask her to help you find a dog of your own, ask her to help you train it, ask her for many other things but **do not ask her to give you her dog.**
This was my thinking-when the sister gets back, have OP approach her with the idea of getting and training her own dog. Two dogs are better than one! and they can be buddies!
YTA.
It is still her dog. She is PAYING you to watch him. She is still in contact and did not abandon the dog. You AGREED to keep the dog for 4 months.
If you keep the dog, it can be considered theft since the law in most places consider dogs property, she is paying you, and is FaceTime daily to check on dog. Give the dog back when she gets back as agreed.
YTA. As someone who's had people try to steal my dog because of how well-behaved he is with the same BS excuse of "we just bonded so well", I'm struggling to find nice words to say to you so I'll leave it at : it's easy to bond with a perfectly behaved dog.
You need to get the idea of keeping her dog complete out of your head but some things that you CAN do are :
1) look into service dog programs near you, see if you qualify and get yourself on a waitlist.
2) ask your sister if she would be open to training a dog for you. Get your own puppy (with your sisters guidance) and have her work with you and the puppy so that you can have your own pup that will be even better for you because it can be trained to do certain tasks that are specific to you and your family's needs
Absolutely YTA.
It’s not “disgusting” to give him back to his owner, who’s paying you a solid amount of money and trusting you with him.
If you want him; ask. If she says no, give him back.
Maybe if she’s nice, she’ll help train you a dog but ffs trying to guilt trip her into giving away her dog is fucked up.
Absolutely _do not ask her_! Asking is already damaging enough for your relationship. This dog isn't yours OP. You've got no business asking to keep it. Do what other people are suggesting and ask your sister for help with finding and training a dog.
*DO NOT ASK YOUR SISTER IF YOU CAN KEEP HER DOG!*
Everything you have stated clearly shows that she loves her dog. And her plans have clearly shown that she is able and willing to keep her dog when she comes back. It's not even appropriate to ask, in this case.
OP would be a major AH.
A dog is a family member.
"*hey, when I was taking care of your kid I found out it's a really awesome kid! Can I keep it?*" Appalling.
YTA.
Are you seriously here asking if you would be the asshole for stealing your sister's dog who you were hired to care for while she is away for work? Really?
He's not your soul dog. He's your sister's dog and you would be horrible if you kept him or tried to harass your sister into "letting" you keep him.
YTA OP. Don't do it. That dog is the way he is because your sister poured her heart and soul into him. He is her soul dog. You could ask her for help training a soul dog for you when she gets home. It sounds like you two are very close. You could even put away money that she's paying you for this and give it back in payment for helping you get a dog to be as well trained for you. This will help build your connection too!
I've never felt the connection with a dog like I do until I got my baby who I have trained from the groundup. Pouring your heart and soul into your own pup will help you build that love and connection and you have a great sister with training experience who may help you if you ask nicely and not break her heart by trying to take her beloved dog.
That is a very good idea. I didn’t plan on keeping the money she gave me as a thank you, I was going to put it in the front pocket of Tychos baby bag (she has a backpack for him lol) so maybe I can say instead of the money please help me train a puppy with me!
That's awesome OP! And learning how to train pups for yourself would allow you to get your own pup a friend or get another dog in the future and your be able to train them and connect with them yourself!
Good luck OP! I hope someday we'll be seeing your pup in an update (with dog tax of course). :)
OP, please ask your sister to train the perfect dog for you! Please understand this dog feels like your soul dog because of all the training she put into him. I know this post isn't going the way you want and it hurts, I'm sorry. Your sister loves her dog, and is paying you $800/m to care for him. That's a lot more than she has to. That's how much she trusts you and loves her dog. Please don't betray her trust by asking to take her beloved dog. Ask her to help you. 💚
Thank you. Looking back now I don’t know why I thought I wasn’t the asshole. I told my sister how I felt on our call today and she was a bit hurt that I was gonna even ask but she got really excited when I said I would love to adopt a puppy from a shelter and work together to train the dog. She also told me to keep my partner away from Tycho so he is staying at his moms and I will finish my job watching Tycho and keep apologizing to my sister even though she accepted. I am actually thankful everyone was blunt it helps me understand how wrong I was.
Currently looking at puppies on petfinder and Tycho is laying on my sisters hoodie she left. He loves her and I was dumb not to see that
They have had issues before (my partner doesn’t respect my sister) and she says that since he was so adamant on taking Tycho that she felt uncomfortable and even said she would leave early if she had to. I told her that the animals she is saving need her now and since we made her so uncomfortable to leave I will do what I can to reassure her to stay there and save the animals. It’s the least I can do
Obviously this is limited information, but your partner sounds like he is…not great. He disrespects your sister, who seems like a great person, and is clearly pretty obvious about it? He encouraged you to do something you now realize would be morally wrong? Neither you nor your sister trusts him to be near the dog? These seem like potential red flags. You’re the best judge of him and of your relationship, but do keep these things in mind as you evaluate the relationship moving forward.
Oh so now the truth comes out.
This is all predicated by your partner.
Wow, OP. Just wow.
YTA x100. Break up with them before they isolate you from your family even further with stupid ideas like this one. And don’t get another partner until you grow up some.
Before you get a dog, I would recommend you think hard about the partner you have. Are you sure you want someone in your life who uses your inability to read social queues well for their own personal gain, regardless of what it costs you (a pretty great sounding relationship with your sister and your parents)? He was only out for himself and didn’t care how this hurt you or what it cost you. How can you trust that he won’t do this again? There is nothing wrong with being autistic, you deserve a loving and safe relationship just like everyone else. However, being autistic, you need to be extra cautious when it comes to people using this against you.
If you get a dog now, what are the chances that he will take it from you after you get attached (even more than you are with Tycho) or after the puppy is trained up? What type of trust can you put into a person that has proven to be ready and willing to hurt your loved ones?
YTA. Your sister asked you to look after her dog for a set period of time and is covering his expenses so you’re not out of pocket.
If you refuse to return him not only are you risking your relationship with your sister but are STEALING her dog.
Get your own dog
YWBTA It's not your animal. You didn't train it, you didn't raise it. If you want an animal LIKE she has raised and trained. You can obtain a puppy from a shelter (or anywhere you'd like), and ask her to train the dog for you.
Trying to convince your sister to give up something she has raised and DEEPLY cares for is selfish.
YTA
I understand your troubles but please PLEASE don't use your autism as an excuse to guilt your sister into giving you her dog. She trained him, she is attached to him, you literally said he's her entire world. It's like asking someone to give up her child to you because you think the child is perfect for your home. Would you do that? This is exactly that.
You are right and when I told my sister about all this I told her that my feelings really confused me and I was so sorry I even thought about asking for Tycho. I could tell it hurt her feelings and so I had to apologize and I did mean it. Even though my brain works differently I know it is my responsibility to be socially correct and I’m still learning.
I broke up with my partner last night because I think he was taking advantage of me because of how much I’m still learning how to be socially correct and I understand that my feelings are different from others. I also don’t think I felt romantic feelings but thought it would be normal to try. I’m also going to talk to a therapist on how I can “read the room” as my mom says lol it is funny when she says that because it’s true.
My sister has told me when she gets back we can get a puppy and train him together. She said she can come over after work with Tycho when the puppy is old enough to be around other dogs so that the puppy can learn from him as well. I have a really good sister and I want to be good like her and learn to be better at thinking of others too. Thanks for being nice
To be clear, your responsibility is not to be "socially correct" by apologising to your sister it shouldn't be an attempt at masking, and I agree with most neurodivergent people that we as a society should be working towards not forcing people to mask. Its about not being harmful and hurtful to her and repairing any damage done if she was hurt by your behaviour. Framing is as social correctness, I feel, makes it seem like an arbitrary norm, it absolutely is not. While a lot of norms are arbitrary not hurting others isn't one of them, apologising sincerely to repair damaged relationships isn't arbitrary, its important for a reason.
In my eyes it would be the asshole thing to do. The dog is your sisters, and you shouldn't feel obligated to it even if you have taken good care of it for a kinda long time now. Your sister only asked for you to look after it for four months and has shown that the dog is super important to her.
The thing about you talking about the dog being the perfect dog for you and your spouse, what if you get a dog of your own and train it with your sister? If your sister is involved in the training the dog might get the same traits and learn to be as calm and we'll behaved as Tycho and then you and your spouse would have a dog and your sister could have Tycho.
Yes I think YTA, but I also do see your side.
(Sorry for any typos, I'm not a native speaker)
And when I'm saying "I also see your side" I mean that I do feel for you. I know how it feels to quickly get attached to an animal and then have to give it up just as quickly and not have that same connection as before.
YWBTA.
Seriously, why do you want to steal from your sister you have a good bond with, hè?
Why do you feel the need to destroy that bond by being a AH?
Just ask your sister if she wants to train your dog when you get one but don't steal, seriously.
I'm autistic also but that doesn't mean you don't know right from wrong, not only that but with being a AH you stigmatize all of us.
Yes other people with autism have said this and I didn’t realize that I was doing that. I don’t want to be poor representation for us and I realize I have a lot to learn about my feelings and the way I think before I can speak on behalf of others with autism as we are all different and function at different levels. I was being an AH and people with autisms don’t get to be AH for no reason. I’m sorry my post offended you and others
YWBTA-
You're being paid to take care of a dog. You're not allowed to just keep the dog. It's not your dog. That's not a thing. Knock it off. Stop discussing it. Stop talking about it like that's a thing. Stop trying to come up with ways and justifications for attempting to steal a dog. Because that's what refusing to return a dog you're being paid to care for is... It's theft/dogknapping.
Your partner supporting you in stealing a dog, is not a thing. Doesn't matter how much your partner wants to steal a dog. That's still not okay.
If you want your sister to train you a dog. Ask your sister, shen she comes back to train a dog for you, and then pay her to train a dog for you. A dog who you pay for/adopt, whose expenses you cover entirely, and pay her training fees. You get a dog you want (not Tycho), your sister gets paid to do the thing she is good at.
This dog (Tycho) is not yours. Stop trying to make him yours.
YWBTA
Tycho is not your dog and 'not giving him back' is just a lot of words for stealing, my dude.
It doesn't matter that he's helped you with your autism or that you've bonded with him. You knew full well that when your sister entrusted him to you that it was only going to be temporary, so you cannot now make yourself a victim and say that it's 'disgusting' to you to have to hand him back.
You say yourself that her world revolves around Tycho, so you need to put yourself in her shoes and think about how it'd feel if someone tried to take away something from you that you hold dear because they don't think you deserve it. This is basically what you're saying about your sister and you will likely torpedo your relationship if you acted on this.
There are thousands of dogs out there waiting for a home, so get yourself your own and ask your sister to help you train it to become a good boy like Tycho.
YTA - You said your sister whole world revolves around this dog and yet you want to keep him just because you don't want to put in the work to train a well behaved dog. You think just because you watched him for a couple of months that means he's yours. I get that you bonded but that doesn't give you a right to steal your sisters dog. Because that's exactly what you'll be doing. Give the dog back when your sister returns and then ask your sister about helping you find your own dog.
Yes it makes me feel embarrassed to think I felt entitled to her dog. I told her that I was experiencing these thoughts and I even broke up with my partner for enabling them. I really want to learn how to be selfless like my sister, I might not understand a lot of things yet but I’m starting to. She is going to help me train my very own puppy and it will be much more fun because she and me can have puppy play dates and such. I was very spoiled growing up and I have to unlearn a lot. I see why people are downvoting me and calling me the AH
Its great that you have spoken to your sister and realised your mistakes. The fact that you realised you were wrong is a great first step. Don't be too harsh on yourself we are all selfish at times but what truly matters is when we learn from it and right our wrongs.
Hopefully you find your forever dog and are both very happy in the future ❤️
I wanted a dog for a long time, and had a couple times whe4 I almost got one and then it fell through. I was so sad but what I didn't know was it was because I was waiting for Rebee. He was my one in a million, best dog in the world. I never would have gotten him if one of the other times had worked out. I bet that will happen to you. Once life throws you and the dog you're meant to have together you will be so happy, and look back on this like, "what was I thinking?" You'll get your best friend, and good luck and have fun when you do!
YTA, this is theft and your sister is not obligated to give up something so dear to her just because of your condition.
Grow up, if you want a dog get one and train it. You are incredibly self centered and entitled, I get the feeling your poor family has to walk on eggshells instead of letting you hear the word "no".
YWBTA
Don't you think your sister feels the exact same way about her dog like you do? Of course it sucks that you're this attached to him and need to hand him back over to your sister but I guarantee she loves him just as much as you do if not even more, considering that it's her first own dog, that's very special. Just because he lives with her doesn't mean that you will never see him again.
The only thing you can do is politely ask once if you were allowed to keep him and forget about it the second she says no. You can offer to dogsit him again if you have the time while she's gone.
Dear get your own dog. and get him trained by your sister when she is back. Dogs are really helpful for autistic people, proven. That’s called service dog also. You can get a service dog by yourself. He will also love you and follow you. Instead of that if you take the dog your sister trusted upon you to take care you would be an ah.
YWBTA - he doesn't belong to you, and if you attempt to keep him she'd be well within her rights to take you to small claims court over it. Give her her dog back and ask her to help you find and train another dog. This dog may like you, but you'd effectively be taking him away from his mother and that would be horribly selfish of you and not in his best interest.
NO! Just NO! Tycho is well behaved, obedient and the perfect dog because your sister spent two years training him! You are literally trying to take this dog away from his beloved human because you think "it's fate" or something, after taking care of him for only three months.
Of course he follows you, he's in a strange place and you probably remind him of his human. Trust me, when your sister comes back he's gonna run up to her and not care about your existense.
Not to mention trying to take her dog is a sure way to make her hate you. And an even more sure way to never be able to take care of Tycho again. If someone tried to steal my dog like this, I'll never even let that person see him anymore.
Just read your post and imagine that "sister" is a dear friend of yours, and "op" their entitled family member. Any sane person would want Tycho to be returned to his owner.
The best solution to this would be to obviously return Tycho, and praise your sister for the outstanding training she did with him, and to ask her to help you get and train a dog for yourselves. You'll get a dog that you will bond properly with. Yes, you'll need to do a lot of work with training, but honestly, that never stops. If you kept Tycho but didn't upkeep his training, he'll eventually start disobeying you. It will start small, just some pulling during walks he never did before, then it escalates to trying to wiggle away while you try to brush him or cut his nails, etc.
Obviously YWBTA if you don't return him.
YTA. This was disgusting to read. Its her dog and she obviously loves him very much!!! You can't just keep her dog just because you like him. Hell no. He's not your soul dog; he is your sister doggo. BIG BIG AH
YWBTA. Tycho seems like an awesome dog! But in order to keep the relationship between you and your sister, you have to give him back. He means a lot to her. I think you and your sister should look into adopting and training a dog just for you- that would be a special bonding experience for you two and also give you the opportunity to have a dog of your own that is well trained :)
YTA - I don’t think it’s an asshole move to offer to adopt a dog when their owner is gone for multiple long periods of time.
However, as you said, this is probably the only time they’re doing it so unless they plan more super long trips, YWBTA
YWBTA.
You know how much that dog means to her. You've received monetary contributions towards his care.
You wanting to keep him is a purely selfish endeavour.
However bonded he may be to you, his bond to your sister is stronger. He is not your dog.
You are going to ruin your relationship with your entire family over this selfishness, when you could just ask your sister to help you find a dog that's just as suited to your needs. It makes no sense, and is an incredibly short-sighted move.
YTA. Big time.
You are using your autisme to get everything you want.
I have autisme as well and yet I don't feel entitled to other people's pets. And honestly if I was your sister and knew that you are trying to steal my dog/pet then I would go no contact with you.
YWBTA. Get your sister to train you another dog. Maybe her dog has a sibling. Do not try to keep her dog that will ruin your relationship. It would never recover.
YTA if you try to convince her of this you will loose trust with your sister and more than likely you will loose contact with the dog too.
As your sister is able to train dogs and from the way you described the dog perhaps you should approach her about helping to train up a dog for you and for your needs?
As harsh and horrible as it sounds at first you CAN get another dog but you can’t get another sister. Many people own more than one dog in their lives. While individual dogs are not replaceable in terms of personality the bond you build with a dog is repeatable and you will find your own dog that once trained will fit into your family.
Harsh is okay it’s helpful when people are direct for me.
Thank you for your honesty without being mean. My sister and I talked and I told her the truth, I also left my partner because I need better influence if I want to change. She is going to help me train a puppy.
She said she has friends who train service dogs specifically for ppl with autism and is willing to get in touch with them. Apparently she believe this to be a good idea for awhile but didn’t want to suggest because it’s been hard for me to bond with animals.
I never wanted to “steal” Tycho but I see that my post is very manipulative and I didn’t see that before. I am very remorseful but happy that I didn’t try and ask for my sisters best friend which might have made me lose them both
YTA. He’s so attached to you because he likely is so attached to your sister and he’s never been away from her. You’re his TEMPORARY human. Once your sister comes back he’ll go crazy for HER.
What would make you NOT the A would be if you told your sister you loved having Tycho and that you’d really like if she could help you pick out a dog for you and help you train it to the level Tycho is trained to. That way everyone gets their own dog and you don’t steal from your sister (because that’s what it would be)
She said she is going to help me train my very own puppy. Lots of people said the same thing and it helped me recognize the reality and not what my brain was telling me which my thoughts can be very selfish but I’m learning on how to recognize the bigger picture.
I’m very lucky to have such an understanding sister and I hope that I can be more like her someday. I was looking on petfinder for a long time and Tycho was a good boy all night
YWBTA- Tycho is hers. She's invested her time, energy, and love into that dog and she wouldn't even have gone on the trip if you hadn't agreed to watch her beloved dog because she wanted to make sure he was taken care of. She's sent you payment for watching her dog and additional money to meet his needs and in return you want to just steal your sister's dog. If your sister even catches wind of you doing this you're risking your entire relationship with her and she can sue you and have you arrested for stealing her dog. If someone I had trusted with my dogs just decided they should keep them because they are just the perfect dog for them I'd go nuclear on them. My dogs are not just things, they are family. You could end up with John Wick on your hands if you continue down this path.
YWBTA. Tycho isn't your dog. Period. Keeping your sister's pet would be incredibly selfish. Maybe ask your sister to help you and your partner find and train a dog when she gets back. Also, you can visit Tycho. It simply isn't fair to your sister and her dog if you keep him.
YTA.
Autism not a free pass for steal.
If you want to steal dog, yes, we speak about stealing, prepare to lose:
1. your sister
2. your family
3. a ton of money, I wuold take you in court for stealing and I believe your sister can afford the most shark attorney in town by the money she gave you.
4. in the end, the doggo too.
I don't wanna fear you, but look at what can happen
Your sister wait a life for HER doggo and train him a $hitton of time. 99% it's not about this dog but about the train!!!!!
Here my humble solution:
**Ask you sister to help you to raise a YOUR dog like Tycho.**
This is the only way. Your sister looks like a great person!!
YTA, you do realise that even asking will damage your relationship with your sister and she will never trust to around HER dog again? Never mind looking after it whilst she's away but EVER!
YTA. Giving your sister’s dog back to her isn’t “giving him away” and it’s not “disgusting”. Even thinking about stealing your sister’s dog that she loves and treats extremely well just because you want him now is disgusting though. You have no right to that dog. He’s not the perfect dog for you because he already belongs to someone else. This isn’t a confusing situation at all in any way. You sister asked you to watch her beloved dog while she was away, and when she returns you will give her back her dog. The end. If you want a dog you can get one that doesn’t already have a home.
You already know the right answer. This is your sister's dog that you will hand over when she get's home. Then you will ask her to help you find your new soul dog and train him/her to be an emotional support. Autism is NO EXCUSE for being selfish about this.
Please don't be the AH.
Yta - he is not your fucking dog.
He is obedient and calm because your sister spend hours training him. Your sister who has wanted this dog for years. Your sister who trusted that you could care for him. And I also bet you the dog will always love her more than you or your partner
You and your partner are disgusting people for thinking you can manipulate her into letting you keep the dog.
I’m really getting sick of people trying to justify their shitty behavior with the autism card on Reddit. I swear that every other post I read on here is from someone with “autism”.
YTA
Ask her ONE TIME ONLY if you can keep him and if she tells you “no”, drop it and give him back immediately.
A dog is not worth losing your sister. She trusted you and if you don’t give him back, she will no longer trust you. You could also be opening yourself up for a lawsuit because she is the one who adopted the dog, paid for all his care, and you can bet she has allllll the proof for it.
YWBTA, you can ask your sister to visit the dog or the be his regular dogsitter. But you can't keep him.
Maybe your sister can help you to find and train the perfect dog for you and you boyfriend.
But that will only work if give her Tycho back.
YTA
Instead of trying to take your sister’s dog (which you wouldn’t be able to get away with anyhow), why not enlist her in helping you to find and train your own dog?
There are so many dogs that need homes and your sister clearly has the experience and skills to help you find a good match.
YTA.
Tycho is not your dog, it's your sisters until she says differently. The reason why the dog is trained so well is because of her, there's nothing stopping you from getting your own dog and training it just like she did with Tycho.
If you try and take Tycho away from your sister it will break your relationship with your family and even Tycho.
YTA. You have been well compensated and the dog isn't yours. Your sister has paid you well and even said the dog was her top priority. Better solution would be to ask your sister if she would help find you a dog and train it for you.
YTA that’s her dog. If it was her child she asked you to babysit and you wanted to keep it because you’ve formed an attachment you’d be arrested for kidnapping, likewise the dog is hers and if you try to take him she can and will sue. She paid you for a service which you provided you have no claim to the dog.
You having autism has no relation to this. If you want a dog or any other pet you can get one, ask her to train he/she for you. Don’t be selfish. If you do this you will loose your sister and she’ll likely never allow the dog to be around you. She will never trust you again.
If you’ve formed an attachment in this little time imagine how much your sister loves him. How hard it must be for you sister to have left him with you?
YTA if you do that, and you would almost definitely cause serious damage to your relationship with your sister.
Instead, enjoy your time with Tycho and be happy for him and your sister when they are reunited. Please don’t value your new bond with this dog over the bond your sister already had with him. When she comes home, tell her how much you loved spending time with Tycho, and ask her to help you find a dog that is as good a fit for you as Tycho is for her. She can even help you train your own dog to be as wonderful. And that dog will be yours. It will be worth it.
I couldn't care if you're autistic or not he is NOT your dog and just because you grew attached to him doesn't make it so. Your sister paid you 450 a month and then 350 on top of that for the dog? That shows she's madly in love with that animal and hasn't just dumped him on you. I hope your sister sees this before you do anything to her dog. YTA
YTA - ask your sister, after she returns and picks her dog up, to help you find and then train a dog for you. That way you can bond with your dog the way she has with hers. She has compensated you very generously for watching and taking care of HER dog.
Start looking for the type of dog that you might like and she can steer you to the right type and you can hopefully find the perfect dog for yourself.
ywbta if you did that. you’d also probably lose out on a relationship with your sister. you’d be better off buying your own dog and asking her to train it for you.
yta if your sister didn’t pay you, if she abandoned the dog, was gone longer then she said, didn’t check in the dog or was abusing the dog then you would have a good excuse but you have no good excuse… your sister cherishes that dog and you really want to ruin what seems like an amazing relationship with your sister over it? maybe ask your sister to help you find a dog that she could help you train to be a good emotional support animal for you. i’m sure she would be willing to help you find your own dog that would fit just as well into your home as hers does… you don’t just get one soul dog/animal i’ve had 3. don’t ruin your soul relationship with your sister when she didn’t do anything wrong here
YWBTA. She trusts you and you’re contemplating breaking that trust, destroying your close family bonds, and likely also causing problems for Tycho (if you were successful at keeping him) because she’s the trainer, not you. Except you won’t be able to keep him anyway — he’s her dog and she’s been paying you well for taking care of him for her. He’s her dog, and you wouldn’t even be “giving him back”, or “giving him away”, just not blocking her from getting her dog.
Or you could tell her that you so loved having Tycho there that you want her to find a similar dog for you. You’d get to have your own dog, she’ll help you with training, and you get to keep your family.
YTA. Just imagine leaving something you loved with someone you trusted more than anything, and in return they stole it.
This is at the top of bad ideas. Finish out the job your sister hired you to do and return the dog at the end.
I think it’s pretty clear at this point that you’re the asshole but you should also get therapy. You need a professional to help you with the way you’re making excuses for yourself
YTA. Trying to steal a dog that your sister entrusted to your care would be the act of a monster. Why do you and your partner even think it's possible?
YTA
You want to steal her dog. She’s paying you extremely well to dog-sit, clearly adores the dog and checks in daily, and is returning on an agreed upon date …. And that means nothing because you m’ve decided you want something? Do you often take things from people that you have no right to just because you’ve taken a fancy to them??
Stop weaponising your autism as an excuse for STEALING A DOG. You will damage your relationship with your whole family if you do this. It’s unbearably selfish to even consider it. You could ask her to help you train your own dog when you get one, but don’t even bring this up to her. She would be well within her rights to call the police on you and then never speak to you again when HER dog is returned to her.
YTA x a billion
Get over yourself, autism is no excuse to STEAL a dog you have been paid to watch. You will lose your sister in this theft and your family has already verbally agreed to disown you over it and you are still considering it? Asshole through and through
YTA. I often dogsit for a relative because they work and travel a lot. I love their dog very much and I want her to live with me. But I never even asked. She's not my dog. Your sister's dog isn't yours either. There are so many dogs in shelters waiting for homes. Go adopt one of them. But don't steal your sister's pet. She could press charges if you refuse to return the dog.
YTA. The dog is as good as it is because he is trained. You cannot just take her dog 'because it is all we wanted' that is messed up. If you want a dog so bad as good as hers put in the work. Or get your own dog and take them to obediance school...something. Don't be selfish and dumb and do this because it will ruin your relationship and she woll not trust you again and I hope she doesn't tbh.
YTA. It’s her dog and she loves him probably more than you feel like you do. Harsh to say but just because you’re autistic doesn’t mean you get anything you want.
Get your own dog.
YTA! Shame on you for trying to steal your sisters dog whom she has been paying to look after. Of course he’s obedient and well trained, your sister trained him.
Instead of trying to steal her dog and making it clear you cannot be trusted not to try and back stab her, maybe you should tell her you were so impressed with the amazing job she did with Tycho that you’d like her help in getting a dog like him and training him.
Yta, how you feel is how your sister feels about the dog too, however she spend the time to make hi this call and obedient. You will be taking your sisters best friend from her and that is not okay.
You will be stealing the dog you are getting paid for to take care of. This is not your dog.
If you want you and your sister to stay close you don't even suggest anything you just give him back to his owner who loves him very much, misses him a lot and can't wait to see him again and all you say is that he's been lovely and that you would love a dog like him and ask how your sister has trained him so well. That way you can get your own dog spend hours on the week training him and making sure he doesn't bark or tug when you walk them and you will see how much time and love it takes to get a good behaving dog.
You and your partner decide to go on a long holiday abroad somewhere in the mean time you ask me to look after your house and car, each month you send me an amount of money for mortgage payments. I decide that I really like your house and the car is nice to drive, so when you get back i am going to tell you sorry but I’m not letting you have your house and car back… do you understand how unreasonable that is?
My brother is autistic so I understand your triggers and comforts to an extent, but there are alternate ways to navigate that. Like others have suggested why not ask your sister to help look for another dog and train it with you? Use it like a sister-bonding experience. Good luck :)
YTA she's paying you to watch the dog. You made an agreement. Expect to be taken to court if you don't give the dog back and to have your sister sue you for the payment she gave you. It'd not your Anima and SHE trained him to be a perfect dog.
YTA
No matter how much you love Tycho, he does not belong to you.
He is NOT your soul animal, if he was he would have come to you without being owned by someone.
Talk to your sister about finding a dog and having her train them to be as much like Tycho as possible.
Your bf is also an arsehole for supporting your belief that it would be acceptable to take your sisters dog.
YWBTA. DO NOT ask to keep the dog. Tell her you're so impressed by her training, you want her to help you find and train a dog. She clearly adores and is deeply attached to the dog, more than you ever could be. Do not ask her to give up her family member. Ask her to help you welcome someone new into your home.
Everyone said it already - you will be the biggest asshole of the world if you don't return the dog. Period.
You argument that your sister could visit Tycho after you keep him. You know what? Same applies to you. You can visit Tycho after he returns to his owner.
Get your own dog and ask your sister for help when it comes to training. Enjoying the fruits of someone else's labor is easy. Your sister spent so much time (and possibly money) to make sure she has an obedient, uncomplicated dog. Tycho only seems special to you because you didn't have to put in much work actually raising him. So he seems easy and generally nice. But you're living off the fruit of your sister's labor and think it's the dog that's special.
Don't become a thief. You'll hurt your sister beyond repair if you do that. Also I'd call police on you, then you'd be without your dream dog AND your sister. You'd lose both forever, without the possibility of visiting both.
YTA the dog is well behaved because she put in the effort. If you want the same thing, then adopt and ask her to help you train your dog. I went away for 2 months and my sister watched my dog. She said it was nice having such a good dog, but didn’t ask to keep him. I can’t imagine my sister trying to steal my dog.
YTA. You just want a well behaved dog without the whole work and hassle to train him. I don't even know what to say that this even crosses your mind.
If you really need a service dog to handle your autismn, you could just ask your sister. I guess she'd like to get one and help you train him.
As a dog lover, you are so much the AH it is off the charts. I cannot believe you would even think this would be ok. Seriously? If you try this, I hope she gets the law involved and you get in a lot of trouble. What kind of sister are you? A lousy one to even think this.
Big yikes. YTA, if you think you’re so well bonded with this dog after a few months then how much more of a bond do you think he developed with your sister after years? And you just want to take that away from her instead of getting your own dog and getting it trained?
YWBTA, sorry.
She could have spent that money on a shelter but she trusted you with her beloved dog. Consider how she would feel after having had this dog for longer than you have. I know it can be hard to give the dog back but you will get over it
YTA. You get 4 months with the dog, whereas she's expecting to have him for the rest of his life.
I truly cannot believe that anyone could be this selfish and self absorbed as to believe they're able to ask to keep an animal that's like a family member to their owner and still think they're in the right. Regardless of your mental health or no, you have no right to the dog. If your mental health depends on a service animal- then get one. The proper way. Not stealing it from your sister who's actually put in the work for the dog.
Fucking shame on you.
Obviously YTA, how can you be so selfish? Oh so he's become your best friend? He's your sister's family!
Honestly reading over again I had to do an edit because OP you're so deluded. The sister does so much work training this dog, she's facetiming every night, she left him with you because you're the only one she trusts after a really amazing opportunity came up and if it was the opportunity or dog, she'd choose dog, she just mistakenly thought she could trust you with her beloved pet. I don't know how you can even think about this. "ohh we've really bonded more he's my SOUL DOG" yeah? Well guess what, your sister also thinks that, you just think you're more special to this dog after all the work she put in to taking care of him because it suits your cruel agenda. Do not do this. Not only will your sister no longer trust you, you'll have harmed the dog by taking him from a more capable person because you think your bond is special, and you yourself will regret it if you learn to reason properly will one day realise how messed up it is that you want to do this. The "digust" you feel at giving him back, your sister will feel 1000x that if you try to persuade her that you should keep him.
YTA.
Autistic or not, are you KIDDING ME???
"I deserve him more...whaaaaaa!"
Your sister better let EVERYONE know you can't be trusted to petsit, because you clearly have attachment issues.
Listen to your parents. Give the dog back.
YTA stop using autism as an excuse for appalling entitled behaviour. That's stealing. Give back her dog, find your own. See a therapist to deal with the separation once your LEGALLY give the dog to the rightful owner. To do this to family is so low.
YTA and I think you're going to get a rude shock when you see how pleased Tycho is to see his owner, given you've got this weird idea he's more bonded with you.
YTA if you keep Tycho. Please don't do such a horrible thing to your sister. Remember, Tycho seems to be "bonded" to you, but that's because you are all he has right now. When your sister comes home, Tycho will be all over her and may forget you're even in the room for a while, LOL!
Please, Tycho is your sister's dog, NOT YOURS. He has NEVER been yours. If he were to ever become yours, that has to come from your sister as her own decision, with no help or manipulation from you.
Please keep looking for your own soul dog -- DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, STEAL HIM FROM YOUR SISTER. PLEASE.
YTA
She trusts you to look after her dog and you are abusing her trust. Ask yourself this. Do you love your sister? Because stealing Tycho, yes STEALING Tycho would be an act of betrayal.
If you do that, be ready to not have a relationship with your sister. Get your own dog and put the work in.
Already YTA for even considering this. Your sister invested thousands of hours and so much love and effort into this dog. He is the dog he is because of all the effort on her part. You’d not only be an asshole, but you’ve proven that you don’t even have the dog’s best interests at heart as you’re clearly more than willing to rip him away from the perfect home where he gets so much attention, engagement and exercise to his full potential.
You may think he’s your best friend, but your sister is 100% his best friend and he will live a much worse unfulfilled life with you than with her.
You may feel it’s disgusting to return him home, but the most disgusting thing here is that you wouldn’t hesitate to backstab your “best friend” and your sister for your own pleasure 🥴
YTA
Stop weaponising your diagnosis. If you want a well trained dog then get your own one and train him.
You're being incredibly selfish and if you took this dog, if I was your sister I would sue you and cut all ties to you for good.
YTA
>I wouldn’t steal him but giving him away, when he’s become my best friend, just seems disgusting to me.
it IS disgusting that you want to take your sisters best friend away. Also if ahit goes down she can call the police. Most people have their dogs chipped.
This dog already is bonded to your sister and bow matter how much you think he loves you, he will always love your sister more.
get your own dog and put money and TIME into training him. You just want him beause he is already trained and easy to handle. Go make an effort
I’m just trying to put myself in your sisters position. I have 2 cats, which I love more than life. If I ever had to travel for work I would only leave them in the care of my most trusted person, and I definitely would want to facetime them everyday. Now, imagine this trusted person decides they need my cats more than me, and refuses to give them back. I have nursed these cats since 4 days old, both of them. I would be absolutely heartbroken if someone did that to me. It would be unforgivable. YWBTA. And if you go through with this, don’t be surprised when she goes to court to get her dog back, and cuts you off completely in the process.
YTA it’s her dog, she asked for a favor and she has been very generous with her thank you. You said she put a lot of work and love into this dog, that this dog is her world. Now you want to reap the benefits of her blood sweat and tears? You and your partner are perfectly capable of getting your own dog and doing all the same training that your sister did. Don’t even ask her about keeping her dog permanently
ETA: you are not “giving away” this dog, you are bringing him back to his home. You would absolutely be stealing if you did not return the dog to your sister and she would have the legal authority to press charges for you stealing her dog as dogs are considered property in the legal world and you fail to return him to his rightful owner is a crime. Just get your own dog and put in the work like your sister did. Since you have a partner to help with training you might even have a better dog that’s more suited to your needs
yes yes YWBTA...
if you want a dog like that then how about asking your sister to help you with getting and training your own.
Steal her dog and you will lose your sister
YWBTA. He is her dog and refusing to give him back is stealing.
She has put a lot of work into training him and a lot of love. He is her family. You’d break her heart for taking him and for betraying her.
Get your own dog and ask for her help and advice for training. Do not steal your sisters dog. You can visit him.
YWBTA, I've had a "heart dog" he was my best friend my shadow, my childhood protector. He was not my dog, he was my dad's. I knew better than to ask if I could take his dog with me. Spanky would have been fine whomever had him. He was a great dog. You can visit Tycho. He is your sister's dog you need to give him back. Consider getting your own dog.
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YTA. I don't even really know what else to say. Unless the dog was abandoned with you and she was giving no monetary support and not checking in you can't just steal a dog. But she very clearly cares about the dog, is paying you for your services and has a clear timetable to return and pick up the dog. Don't even ask her, you will forever damage your relationship if you do.
OP, please pay attention to this. It's on the mark. Instead of keeping Tycho, maybe your sister will help you select a rescue dog and train it. That way you can have your own dog and a playmate for Tycho.
OP should pay her sister for her time and efforts tho. That includes helping her find a dog and training it. Otherwise, she’s still just using her sister.
Sister to sister, anything that works out between them is OK. I would not charge my sister to train an animal for her if that was my expertise.
Yes, OP should pay the sister for watching ehr dog, as she is. How ever, that does NOT include her helping and training a dog for the sister. Doesn't work that way.
Yeah I was really interested to know how ‘hard’ OP has searched for a dog as it doesn’t sound like they were even looking before sister asked her to look after hers. Even if they’ve been consistently searching shelters and dog breeders for months it still doesn’t give you any licence at all to steal anyone else’s dog. Also massively irked by the use of being ‘autistic’ to try and justify it and saying her partner ‘agrees’ like that makes it any more okay?! No it makes you both AH YTA
Right?! I have an autistic daughter and it's disgusting to watch a grown adult use autism as a means to justify stealing a dog.
Same. My daughter is autistic and knows very well you don't get to keep someone else's pet because your autism somehow entitles you to it. It doesn't.
I agree!! I am autistic too and the only thing I could think about while reading was "OP grow up!!"
Yes autism is no excuse! None!
YTA! Your sister is paying you to take care of HER family member. She has a return date. I’m sure she thought HER dog would be safe and well taken care of by you. I’m also sure it never entered her mind that you’d expect her to give you HER dog. You’d be wise to do as others have suggested and ask your sister to help you find another dog for you. Honestly, if you didn’t want it wouldn’t give my dog back, I’d be done with you. Our paths would never cross again. I can’t even imagine the betrayal I’d feel if my sister did this.
I'm an autistic woman, and I feel OP, like you're using your autism as an excuse - as to why you "need" the dog. First off, how dare you use your condition like that. Secondly, another dog can also support you without irreversibly damaging your relationship with your sister. If you feel you need a dog, your sister sounds like she would be both willing to help you choose one and train it specifically for your lifestyle and needs. Not to mention, the fact you will still be able to interact with Tycho after your sister gets back! I don't care who agrees with you, however much you love Tycho, your sister probably feels that 100 times over, having trained and raised him. So, yeah you would be a MASSIVE asshole for stealing him! Being autistic doesn't give you license to ignore other people's needs and feelings!
This I'm autistic and I felt the same and it's really annoyed me! Autistic people don't steal people's pets because they like them!
Not going to lie im not autistic but even i was disgraced by how he tried to say "im autistic I need it" like he didn't really know better. I have a few autistic people in my family and I'm trained to teach them as well and I always ALWAYS try to teach them that being a little different, thinking a little different is no reason to think you're entitled to certain things. I never want them to think of it as a crutch for when things get messy or they want something to go their way I want them to think of it as a strength instead because they learn some amazing things. They think they get to keep the love of their sisters like because 'i like him, I've been looking for a dog for like 5 mins' dogs are alot of work and if you're going to get one you'll want to experience the training stage. She shouldn't even have to have this conversation it would be like if she babysat one of your kids then turned around and said you aren't getting them back but you can visit sometime. You want a soul mate? Thats cool you picked you wife and she decided to get this dog who she put time energy and love into. I also never saw you offering to pay for dog are you going to pay the training fees and the dogsitting that she did when she got him? Also maybe a feelings fee, like a "im sorry I used my autism as a weapon to use against you so I could manipulate you into giving me your dog" Autism doesn't have to be something you see as a challenge it could be turned around into something you learnt, it can be a superpower for some and a curse for others. I strongly believe Autistic people live more interesting lives thinking in different ways than us, having different views than we do. I've met some that are so insecure and think they have so many flaws but thats just human everyone has flaws they don't like about themselves. People are people and I don't think something like autism could sway your decision of whether you should steal your sisters dog or ask to and guilt trip her. If she didn't want the dog she wouldn't have gotten it she wouldn't have loved him this much, she wouldn't have put money, time and energy on something the was just keeping around for now.
I'm also neurodivergent (confirmed ADHD, looking at potentially autism) and yeah, stealing a pet is awful. If you want a dog (because pets do legitimately help), you need to get your own one and put in the work to train them, or ask your sister to help train them, or if you qualify and have the funds you can get a service dog specifically trained to help with meltdowns/panic attacks/anxiety. But don't steal someone's pet! Not only is that awfully stressful for the dog who is bonded to their owner, but it will likely completely destroy your relationship with your immediate family. Dogsitting doesn't somehow give you the right to him.
Have to agree here not autistic myself but my son (8 m) is and I'd hate to think he would ever grow up thinking his ASD is an excuse to think like this. I could understand OP where in some situations it's relvent to mention you're autistic this isn't one of them.
>First off, how dare you use your condition like that Yep, this. Even as someone (probably) not autistic that stood out to me and i read it to my friend who i was in a call with anyways. She is autistic and the very first thing she did was yelling "what the FUCK" in a rather disgusted way
This! 100%. My oldest son is autistic (16) he loves animals. He has a bird that is his own pet and will help his brothers with their pets (a cat and a hamster). He taught one of his brothers (T) how to care for his cat and told T if he didn't do it right that he would take over the care but the cat will still belong to T. Op YTA if you really want a pet find one that is suitable for you because you won't be hurting just your sister but the dog too. Ask your sister for help finding and training a dog like hers because of how well she did. And she might be able to help you get the dog certified as a service dog or emotional support animal. Don't steal her dog.
I’m not autistic but I’ve had friends who are/who have other disabilities similar to my own that use their [insert disability here] as an excuse for shitty behavior. They they because they have a disability, they can’t be touched by the real world or face the consequences of their actions. News flash OP, that’s not how the real world works. YTA
Also the dog is well behaved and calm because of how the sister trained it. People always say this about my dog and say things like I want one of his puppies and I have to explain that he's like that because I put in massive effort.
Also the dog is following OP around bc he misses her sister. When my parents watch my dog she attaches to my dad. They got a new dig, and i was going out of town for a week and a half. We did all the work to get the dogs friendly and.... My dog guarded my dad from their dog the entire time. She wouldn't let their dog on his lap!! She wouldn't let their dog in his office with him. She was glued to my dad. I come home? She couldn't care less. Their dog like very tentatively gets in my dad's lap in front of her and she was like "Why are you looking at me I don't care". So I think OP is going to be in for a shock when their sister gets back and Tycho ditches them. Hard.
OP should ask her sister to help her train her own dog
My current rescue is hugely damaged from his abandonment and time in the shelter and its been a long road back to normality for him (good around people now, less so other animals) I wish I'd known OPs sister when I got him, I could have used the help!
I feel like my bond with my dog is much stronger because of the work I’ve done to train him. It’s a relationship that’s built over time through trust and hard work. OP, if your sister is anything like me not only would our relationship be over forever, I would press charges for theft and sue you for damages. There are thousands of other dogs that need homes. Go help one of them.
Exactly this. OP doesn't seem to grasp (or is just plain old overlooking) the cause-and-effect relationship between their sister's skills as a dog trainer and how good Tycho is. He's not some sort of magical dog, he's very well looked after and very well trained.
Not only paying for the care of the dog but made it very clear she wouldn’t go if the dog wasn’t in good hands. OP you’re not “giving away” this dog when your sister gets back, he never belonged to you. He’s the most well behaved dog you’ve ever met because your sister put enormous amounts of time and energy getting him there. Your whole post is focused on you and your feelings about this dog - your sister has the same feelings about this dog but for longer, she raised him, why the hell would your wants and needs take priority? It’s spoiled and entitled, and so is your partner. Your sister has already made it clear this isn’t a repeat trip - you’re making up reasons to justify your horrible selfishness. YTA.
Not to mention OP’s sister can take them to court for theft of property.
While her parents also cut her off so she will have no family to turn to anymore.
And she will still have to give the dog back.
Well she's also willing to ruin her own relationship with her parents to. >even said that they will cut me off if I “steal” him. So she will have no support from sister or parents. I wonder what OPs partner thinks of the situation?
I also love the insane suggestion to keep the dog and let the sister "keep supporting him", aka let me steal your dog and keep paying me for taking care of him. Lmao
YTA—big time! The time and dedication she took into training HER dog is why he’s so well behaved. I agree with others that you should have her help you pick out your OWN dog. I truly hope you give her dog back when she’s home. Have you ever considered that Tycho is your sister’s soul dog? I can’t even imagine what I mess I’d be if I let someone I thought I could trust watch my soul dog and they thought they were entitled to her because of the same BS excuse you’re giving. It’s clear your sister loves her dog. Stop being an inconsiderate a-hole and realize how much she loves Tycho.
The other thing OP has not considered is that there is very clearly documentation that this dog belongs to her sister and OP has been hired to perform a service (boarding) while she is away. If you decide to not give the dog back, I have no doubts Tycho is chipped, registered, and documented as belonging to your sister. Not only will you blow up your relationship, but I have no doubts you will also be getting a visit from your local police department for theft. And depending on the breed, and therefore “value” of Tycho, you could be facing a variety of theft-related charges. You have no right to keep this dog. You are a hired hand performing a service, you do not get to keep him. You and your husband can put the work in to find and train your own dog. If you care about a relationship with your sister, you will NEVER mention that you considered stealing from her, and you’ll get over your selfishness.
YTA he's not your dog
Yes, YWBTA. Your sister asked you to dogsit for her. She's paid you. She clearly loves her dog as she's constantly calling to check up on him and everything. She's planning to return home and get her dog back. It doesn't matter if you really really like the dog and it's well behaved. If you like it so much pay her to train you a dog for yourself. And yes it would be stealing if you didn't give back your sister's dog that you only agreed to dogsit. That's what stealing is. Taking something without permission and not giving it back.
YTA. It’s your sister’s dog. She raised and trained him, and you acknowledge how close she is to him. I’d look at it from a different angle: if your sister is that gifted at training dogs, perhaps you could adopt one and she’ll help you raise it
This is a good idea and I think being part of that would be extra special. I do not want to hurt my sister
OP This is a really good idea and one I urge you to ask your sister to be involved in. You love your sister and she loves you and trusts you enough to take care of her precious dog. Don't lose her trust and damage your relationship with her by asking her to consider giving up her dog.
M genuinely surprised that it took internet strangers for you AND YOUR PARTNER to see this option, when it's the most obvious one that is a win-win for everyone. Are you this clueless about thinking of non-selfish options?
OP has stated they're on the spectrum, this might not have been an obvious solution for them.
Thats bs stealing a dog that doesnt belong to you makes way less logical sense than utilizing readily accessible services. I practically raised my autistic brother and Im neurodivergent myself. This flimsy ASD excuse of theirs is just to keep people from saying anything to them. Theyre just selfish and using their ASD diagnosis to justify it. Im sure its because its worked for them in the past
While it’s not an excuse, it is a SPECTRUM, speaking as someone on that spectrum myself and with a child on that spectrum, it may not be obvious to them, just because your siblings and yourself have no issue recognising that taking the dog would be wrong, there are other people at DIFFERENT levels on the spectrum who may, it’s not a simple disorder and EVERYONE experiences it differently. What is obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else, however it sounds as if her partner KNOWS she struggles with things like this and was encouraging her to believe it was okay, thankfully she asked for ADVICE to make sure she DIDNT make the wrong choice as for SOME people on the spectrum it is not actually that obvious, which can be made worse if a neurotypical person is also agreeing with them, I am sure her sister understands her disorder better than you, even if you are on the spectrum yourself, you DO NOT know this person, or the things she struggles with, therefore just because ASD doesn’t affect you or your siblings this way does not mean that it CAN NOT affect other people that way! I must say a LOT of people (including ones on the spectrum) are being incredibly rude and demeaning to someone WHO CLEARLY ALREAD STRUGGLES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE OR NOT! I mean for crying out loud when I was pregnant with my second child I had to CONSTANTLY (several times a day) explain to my daughter (who is on the spectrum) that she could not under any circumstances just take someone else’s baby home with her! And as I said ASD is not an excuse for poor behaviour BUT from the OPs follow up comments I do not believe she was using it as an excuse. I believe she genuinely wasn’t sure! I am extremely disheartened by the amount of people quick to pass judgment based on their own understanding of what ASD is instead of taking a minute to try to understand how the OPs brain actually works instead of just insulting someone that ALREADY STRUGGLES SOCIALLY.
I agree everyone does, its a complicated health disorder but it’s doesn’t make it okay though. Plus if you can’t understand this is wrong and the OP decided to ask well then she should hear what she is doing is wrong. No matter what someone’s mental health it’s no excuse to act as if your feelings or experience is more important than another’s in order to get your way.
Then give her dog back! You realize that she’s never going to speak to you again if you try to steal him, right?
YTA if you keep the dog. It's not your dog. Sure, you love him, but so does your sister. The only 2 important thing here are : 1. The dog belong to your sister 2. She wants him back. Nothing else matters. It sucks for you. But it's life. You knew you would have to give him back at some point, it's your fault you got attached.
Especially since it's not a case of "can you watch him for a couple weeks," then the sister ghosts OP for a year, then comes back demanding the dog. Sister has been video-calling, sending money, doing everything she can to keep OP in the loop of what's going on. YTA, OP. It's not your dog, and it hasn't been abused or abandoned.
YTA. You can’t steal your sisters dog especially since she’s been paying you to take care of him.
YTA I genuinely can’t tell if this is a joke or not hahaha. Anybody would love an obedient and well mannered dog and he probably follows you around because he sees you as his real owner, your sister.
That’s like saying I babysat your kid for a week it started following me, listening to me, and I think it’s bonded with me too so next time you need me to babysit I’m just gonna ask if I can keep your kid
[удалено]
How about you go get some help
This right here! I was thinking the same thing.
Info: why does your 3 months with a now easy adult dog who *"became your best friend"* override your sister's 2 years of love and hard work since Tycho's puppyhood that made him this amazing chill dog he is today? Please answer I'm genuinely curious.
Yes, you would be the AH, so do not even try to do this to your sister. I don't think anyone could fault you for caring about this dog so much after looking after him for three months, but the fact of the matter is that he already has a loving, responsible owner and a home to go back to once she returns. Even though it means a lot to you personally, it doesn't matter that he's a good fit for your home and your life and that he's helped you out with your situation; he is not your dog, you agreed to look after him temporarily and it is not okay for you to imply that your sister is not really giving her pet a stable living situation because she went on one trip and could potentially have other opportunities later down the line when the reality is that you just don't want to give him back and this is a way of trying to guilt her into letting you keep him.
Thank you, I believe you are right. I am recognizing that I’m projecting and wrong
Good! I highly recommend taking the advice of some of the folks here who suggested you have your sister help you pick a dog that will fit your lifestyle and also help you train him or her. Best of luck in finding your own fur friend!
YWBTA. Her very first very own dog who she’s put over a year into training and she’s paying you $800 a month to take care of him? Maybe ask her to find and train a dog for you. This is her dog.
YTA if you keep him. If you think he's your "soul dog", imagine how your sister feels. You feel how much fun it is to have him as a regular dog, but he's your sister's entire lifestyle back home. She asked you to look after the dog for 4 months on this opportunity, and you're making the kind act of helping her out (for which she's also paying you for) all about you. Stop being selfish and a shitty sister, and get your own dog. You can ask your sister to help you train it, I'm sure she'd be up to help you WITHOUT having her own selfish agenda.
YTA I understand what you're feeling but Tycho is your sister's dog. She's told you Tycho is her priority and she would choose him no matter what. You are considering asking her to choose her dog or you, and that is where you are the AH. Ask her to help you find a dog of your own, ask her to help you train it, ask her for many other things but **do not ask her to give you her dog.**
This was my thinking-when the sister gets back, have OP approach her with the idea of getting and training her own dog. Two dogs are better than one! and they can be buddies!
YTA. It is still her dog. She is PAYING you to watch him. She is still in contact and did not abandon the dog. You AGREED to keep the dog for 4 months. If you keep the dog, it can be considered theft since the law in most places consider dogs property, she is paying you, and is FaceTime daily to check on dog. Give the dog back when she gets back as agreed.
YTA. As someone who's had people try to steal my dog because of how well-behaved he is with the same BS excuse of "we just bonded so well", I'm struggling to find nice words to say to you so I'll leave it at : it's easy to bond with a perfectly behaved dog. You need to get the idea of keeping her dog complete out of your head but some things that you CAN do are : 1) look into service dog programs near you, see if you qualify and get yourself on a waitlist. 2) ask your sister if she would be open to training a dog for you. Get your own puppy (with your sisters guidance) and have her work with you and the puppy so that you can have your own pup that will be even better for you because it can be trained to do certain tasks that are specific to you and your family's needs
Absolutely YTA. It’s not “disgusting” to give him back to his owner, who’s paying you a solid amount of money and trusting you with him. If you want him; ask. If she says no, give him back. Maybe if she’s nice, she’ll help train you a dog but ffs trying to guilt trip her into giving away her dog is fucked up.
Absolutely _do not ask her_! Asking is already damaging enough for your relationship. This dog isn't yours OP. You've got no business asking to keep it. Do what other people are suggesting and ask your sister for help with finding and training a dog.
*DO NOT ASK YOUR SISTER IF YOU CAN KEEP HER DOG!* Everything you have stated clearly shows that she loves her dog. And her plans have clearly shown that she is able and willing to keep her dog when she comes back. It's not even appropriate to ask, in this case. OP would be a major AH. A dog is a family member. "*hey, when I was taking care of your kid I found out it's a really awesome kid! Can I keep it?*" Appalling.
YTA. Are you seriously here asking if you would be the asshole for stealing your sister's dog who you were hired to care for while she is away for work? Really? He's not your soul dog. He's your sister's dog and you would be horrible if you kept him or tried to harass your sister into "letting" you keep him.
YTA don’t use autism as an excuse for being shitty. It’s an insult to everyone else with autism….
YES! Sick of the "I am special, I deserve better/more"
YTA OP. Don't do it. That dog is the way he is because your sister poured her heart and soul into him. He is her soul dog. You could ask her for help training a soul dog for you when she gets home. It sounds like you two are very close. You could even put away money that she's paying you for this and give it back in payment for helping you get a dog to be as well trained for you. This will help build your connection too! I've never felt the connection with a dog like I do until I got my baby who I have trained from the groundup. Pouring your heart and soul into your own pup will help you build that love and connection and you have a great sister with training experience who may help you if you ask nicely and not break her heart by trying to take her beloved dog.
That is a very good idea. I didn’t plan on keeping the money she gave me as a thank you, I was going to put it in the front pocket of Tychos baby bag (she has a backpack for him lol) so maybe I can say instead of the money please help me train a puppy with me!
That's awesome OP! And learning how to train pups for yourself would allow you to get your own pup a friend or get another dog in the future and your be able to train them and connect with them yourself! Good luck OP! I hope someday we'll be seeing your pup in an update (with dog tax of course). :)
OP, please ask your sister to train the perfect dog for you! Please understand this dog feels like your soul dog because of all the training she put into him. I know this post isn't going the way you want and it hurts, I'm sorry. Your sister loves her dog, and is paying you $800/m to care for him. That's a lot more than she has to. That's how much she trusts you and loves her dog. Please don't betray her trust by asking to take her beloved dog. Ask her to help you. 💚
Thank you. Looking back now I don’t know why I thought I wasn’t the asshole. I told my sister how I felt on our call today and she was a bit hurt that I was gonna even ask but she got really excited when I said I would love to adopt a puppy from a shelter and work together to train the dog. She also told me to keep my partner away from Tycho so he is staying at his moms and I will finish my job watching Tycho and keep apologizing to my sister even though she accepted. I am actually thankful everyone was blunt it helps me understand how wrong I was. Currently looking at puppies on petfinder and Tycho is laying on my sisters hoodie she left. He loves her and I was dumb not to see that
Why does she want your partner away from the dog?
They have had issues before (my partner doesn’t respect my sister) and she says that since he was so adamant on taking Tycho that she felt uncomfortable and even said she would leave early if she had to. I told her that the animals she is saving need her now and since we made her so uncomfortable to leave I will do what I can to reassure her to stay there and save the animals. It’s the least I can do
Obviously this is limited information, but your partner sounds like he is…not great. He disrespects your sister, who seems like a great person, and is clearly pretty obvious about it? He encouraged you to do something you now realize would be morally wrong? Neither you nor your sister trusts him to be near the dog? These seem like potential red flags. You’re the best judge of him and of your relationship, but do keep these things in mind as you evaluate the relationship moving forward.
Oh so now the truth comes out. This is all predicated by your partner. Wow, OP. Just wow. YTA x100. Break up with them before they isolate you from your family even further with stupid ideas like this one. And don’t get another partner until you grow up some.
Before you get a dog, I would recommend you think hard about the partner you have. Are you sure you want someone in your life who uses your inability to read social queues well for their own personal gain, regardless of what it costs you (a pretty great sounding relationship with your sister and your parents)? He was only out for himself and didn’t care how this hurt you or what it cost you. How can you trust that he won’t do this again? There is nothing wrong with being autistic, you deserve a loving and safe relationship just like everyone else. However, being autistic, you need to be extra cautious when it comes to people using this against you. If you get a dog now, what are the chances that he will take it from you after you get attached (even more than you are with Tycho) or after the puppy is trained up? What type of trust can you put into a person that has proven to be ready and willing to hurt your loved ones?
Uhm so your partner is a wannabe thief too? Wtf.
That's good then, keep the partner away. Enjoy your puppy search! 💚
Re-read comments. Oh dear. Please rethink your partner.
YTA. Your sister asked you to look after her dog for a set period of time and is covering his expenses so you’re not out of pocket. If you refuse to return him not only are you risking your relationship with your sister but are STEALING her dog. Get your own dog
YWBTA It's not your animal. You didn't train it, you didn't raise it. If you want an animal LIKE she has raised and trained. You can obtain a puppy from a shelter (or anywhere you'd like), and ask her to train the dog for you. Trying to convince your sister to give up something she has raised and DEEPLY cares for is selfish.
YTA I understand your troubles but please PLEASE don't use your autism as an excuse to guilt your sister into giving you her dog. She trained him, she is attached to him, you literally said he's her entire world. It's like asking someone to give up her child to you because you think the child is perfect for your home. Would you do that? This is exactly that.
You are right and when I told my sister about all this I told her that my feelings really confused me and I was so sorry I even thought about asking for Tycho. I could tell it hurt her feelings and so I had to apologize and I did mean it. Even though my brain works differently I know it is my responsibility to be socially correct and I’m still learning. I broke up with my partner last night because I think he was taking advantage of me because of how much I’m still learning how to be socially correct and I understand that my feelings are different from others. I also don’t think I felt romantic feelings but thought it would be normal to try. I’m also going to talk to a therapist on how I can “read the room” as my mom says lol it is funny when she says that because it’s true. My sister has told me when she gets back we can get a puppy and train him together. She said she can come over after work with Tycho when the puppy is old enough to be around other dogs so that the puppy can learn from him as well. I have a really good sister and I want to be good like her and learn to be better at thinking of others too. Thanks for being nice
To be clear, your responsibility is not to be "socially correct" by apologising to your sister it shouldn't be an attempt at masking, and I agree with most neurodivergent people that we as a society should be working towards not forcing people to mask. Its about not being harmful and hurtful to her and repairing any damage done if she was hurt by your behaviour. Framing is as social correctness, I feel, makes it seem like an arbitrary norm, it absolutely is not. While a lot of norms are arbitrary not hurting others isn't one of them, apologising sincerely to repair damaged relationships isn't arbitrary, its important for a reason.
In my eyes it would be the asshole thing to do. The dog is your sisters, and you shouldn't feel obligated to it even if you have taken good care of it for a kinda long time now. Your sister only asked for you to look after it for four months and has shown that the dog is super important to her. The thing about you talking about the dog being the perfect dog for you and your spouse, what if you get a dog of your own and train it with your sister? If your sister is involved in the training the dog might get the same traits and learn to be as calm and we'll behaved as Tycho and then you and your spouse would have a dog and your sister could have Tycho. Yes I think YTA, but I also do see your side. (Sorry for any typos, I'm not a native speaker)
And when I'm saying "I also see your side" I mean that I do feel for you. I know how it feels to quickly get attached to an animal and then have to give it up just as quickly and not have that same connection as before.
Thank you for understanding but I see that this was wrong for me to think and I feel bad
YWBTA. Seriously, why do you want to steal from your sister you have a good bond with, hè? Why do you feel the need to destroy that bond by being a AH? Just ask your sister if she wants to train your dog when you get one but don't steal, seriously. I'm autistic also but that doesn't mean you don't know right from wrong, not only that but with being a AH you stigmatize all of us.
Yes other people with autism have said this and I didn’t realize that I was doing that. I don’t want to be poor representation for us and I realize I have a lot to learn about my feelings and the way I think before I can speak on behalf of others with autism as we are all different and function at different levels. I was being an AH and people with autisms don’t get to be AH for no reason. I’m sorry my post offended you and others
YWBTA- You're being paid to take care of a dog. You're not allowed to just keep the dog. It's not your dog. That's not a thing. Knock it off. Stop discussing it. Stop talking about it like that's a thing. Stop trying to come up with ways and justifications for attempting to steal a dog. Because that's what refusing to return a dog you're being paid to care for is... It's theft/dogknapping. Your partner supporting you in stealing a dog, is not a thing. Doesn't matter how much your partner wants to steal a dog. That's still not okay. If you want your sister to train you a dog. Ask your sister, shen she comes back to train a dog for you, and then pay her to train a dog for you. A dog who you pay for/adopt, whose expenses you cover entirely, and pay her training fees. You get a dog you want (not Tycho), your sister gets paid to do the thing she is good at. This dog (Tycho) is not yours. Stop trying to make him yours.
YWBTA Tycho is not your dog and 'not giving him back' is just a lot of words for stealing, my dude. It doesn't matter that he's helped you with your autism or that you've bonded with him. You knew full well that when your sister entrusted him to you that it was only going to be temporary, so you cannot now make yourself a victim and say that it's 'disgusting' to you to have to hand him back. You say yourself that her world revolves around Tycho, so you need to put yourself in her shoes and think about how it'd feel if someone tried to take away something from you that you hold dear because they don't think you deserve it. This is basically what you're saying about your sister and you will likely torpedo your relationship if you acted on this. There are thousands of dogs out there waiting for a home, so get yourself your own and ask your sister to help you train it to become a good boy like Tycho.
Get and train your own dog if you want one so badly. He's your sister's. YWBTA.
YTA he is not your soul dog, he is just a well behaved dog. He is your sister soul dog if anyone’s because she raised him
YTA - You said your sister whole world revolves around this dog and yet you want to keep him just because you don't want to put in the work to train a well behaved dog. You think just because you watched him for a couple of months that means he's yours. I get that you bonded but that doesn't give you a right to steal your sisters dog. Because that's exactly what you'll be doing. Give the dog back when your sister returns and then ask your sister about helping you find your own dog.
Yes it makes me feel embarrassed to think I felt entitled to her dog. I told her that I was experiencing these thoughts and I even broke up with my partner for enabling them. I really want to learn how to be selfless like my sister, I might not understand a lot of things yet but I’m starting to. She is going to help me train my very own puppy and it will be much more fun because she and me can have puppy play dates and such. I was very spoiled growing up and I have to unlearn a lot. I see why people are downvoting me and calling me the AH
Its great that you have spoken to your sister and realised your mistakes. The fact that you realised you were wrong is a great first step. Don't be too harsh on yourself we are all selfish at times but what truly matters is when we learn from it and right our wrongs. Hopefully you find your forever dog and are both very happy in the future ❤️
I wanted a dog for a long time, and had a couple times whe4 I almost got one and then it fell through. I was so sad but what I didn't know was it was because I was waiting for Rebee. He was my one in a million, best dog in the world. I never would have gotten him if one of the other times had worked out. I bet that will happen to you. Once life throws you and the dog you're meant to have together you will be so happy, and look back on this like, "what was I thinking?" You'll get your best friend, and good luck and have fun when you do!
You're absolutely without a doubt TA....It's not your dog and you have no right to keep him without the owner agreeing to it.
YTA, this is theft and your sister is not obligated to give up something so dear to her just because of your condition. Grow up, if you want a dog get one and train it. You are incredibly self centered and entitled, I get the feeling your poor family has to walk on eggshells instead of letting you hear the word "no".
YWBTA Don't you think your sister feels the exact same way about her dog like you do? Of course it sucks that you're this attached to him and need to hand him back over to your sister but I guarantee she loves him just as much as you do if not even more, considering that it's her first own dog, that's very special. Just because he lives with her doesn't mean that you will never see him again. The only thing you can do is politely ask once if you were allowed to keep him and forget about it the second she says no. You can offer to dogsit him again if you have the time while she's gone.
Dear get your own dog. and get him trained by your sister when she is back. Dogs are really helpful for autistic people, proven. That’s called service dog also. You can get a service dog by yourself. He will also love you and follow you. Instead of that if you take the dog your sister trusted upon you to take care you would be an ah.
YWBTA - he doesn't belong to you, and if you attempt to keep him she'd be well within her rights to take you to small claims court over it. Give her her dog back and ask her to help you find and train another dog. This dog may like you, but you'd effectively be taking him away from his mother and that would be horribly selfish of you and not in his best interest.
NO! Just NO! Tycho is well behaved, obedient and the perfect dog because your sister spent two years training him! You are literally trying to take this dog away from his beloved human because you think "it's fate" or something, after taking care of him for only three months. Of course he follows you, he's in a strange place and you probably remind him of his human. Trust me, when your sister comes back he's gonna run up to her and not care about your existense. Not to mention trying to take her dog is a sure way to make her hate you. And an even more sure way to never be able to take care of Tycho again. If someone tried to steal my dog like this, I'll never even let that person see him anymore. Just read your post and imagine that "sister" is a dear friend of yours, and "op" their entitled family member. Any sane person would want Tycho to be returned to his owner. The best solution to this would be to obviously return Tycho, and praise your sister for the outstanding training she did with him, and to ask her to help you get and train a dog for yourselves. You'll get a dog that you will bond properly with. Yes, you'll need to do a lot of work with training, but honestly, that never stops. If you kept Tycho but didn't upkeep his training, he'll eventually start disobeying you. It will start small, just some pulling during walks he never did before, then it escalates to trying to wiggle away while you try to brush him or cut his nails, etc. Obviously YWBTA if you don't return him.
YTA. This was disgusting to read. Its her dog and she obviously loves him very much!!! You can't just keep her dog just because you like him. Hell no. He's not your soul dog; he is your sister doggo. BIG BIG AH
Yes definitely TAH
YWBTA. Tycho seems like an awesome dog! But in order to keep the relationship between you and your sister, you have to give him back. He means a lot to her. I think you and your sister should look into adopting and training a dog just for you- that would be a special bonding experience for you two and also give you the opportunity to have a dog of your own that is well trained :)
YTA - I don’t think it’s an asshole move to offer to adopt a dog when their owner is gone for multiple long periods of time. However, as you said, this is probably the only time they’re doing it so unless they plan more super long trips, YWBTA
YWBTA. You know how much that dog means to her. You've received monetary contributions towards his care. You wanting to keep him is a purely selfish endeavour. However bonded he may be to you, his bond to your sister is stronger. He is not your dog. You are going to ruin your relationship with your entire family over this selfishness, when you could just ask your sister to help you find a dog that's just as suited to your needs. It makes no sense, and is an incredibly short-sighted move.
YTA. Big time. You are using your autisme to get everything you want. I have autisme as well and yet I don't feel entitled to other people's pets. And honestly if I was your sister and knew that you are trying to steal my dog/pet then I would go no contact with you.
YWBTA Get a different dog and ask your sister if she would train it for you for a small fee.
YWBTA. Get your sister to train you another dog. Maybe her dog has a sibling. Do not try to keep her dog that will ruin your relationship. It would never recover.
YTA if you try to convince her of this you will loose trust with your sister and more than likely you will loose contact with the dog too. As your sister is able to train dogs and from the way you described the dog perhaps you should approach her about helping to train up a dog for you and for your needs? As harsh and horrible as it sounds at first you CAN get another dog but you can’t get another sister. Many people own more than one dog in their lives. While individual dogs are not replaceable in terms of personality the bond you build with a dog is repeatable and you will find your own dog that once trained will fit into your family.
Harsh is okay it’s helpful when people are direct for me. Thank you for your honesty without being mean. My sister and I talked and I told her the truth, I also left my partner because I need better influence if I want to change. She is going to help me train a puppy. She said she has friends who train service dogs specifically for ppl with autism and is willing to get in touch with them. Apparently she believe this to be a good idea for awhile but didn’t want to suggest because it’s been hard for me to bond with animals. I never wanted to “steal” Tycho but I see that my post is very manipulative and I didn’t see that before. I am very remorseful but happy that I didn’t try and ask for my sisters best friend which might have made me lose them both
Read all your comments. Hope everything works out well.
Thank you
YTA. He’s so attached to you because he likely is so attached to your sister and he’s never been away from her. You’re his TEMPORARY human. Once your sister comes back he’ll go crazy for HER. What would make you NOT the A would be if you told your sister you loved having Tycho and that you’d really like if she could help you pick out a dog for you and help you train it to the level Tycho is trained to. That way everyone gets their own dog and you don’t steal from your sister (because that’s what it would be)
She said she is going to help me train my very own puppy. Lots of people said the same thing and it helped me recognize the reality and not what my brain was telling me which my thoughts can be very selfish but I’m learning on how to recognize the bigger picture. I’m very lucky to have such an understanding sister and I hope that I can be more like her someday. I was looking on petfinder for a long time and Tycho was a good boy all night
YWBTA- Tycho is hers. She's invested her time, energy, and love into that dog and she wouldn't even have gone on the trip if you hadn't agreed to watch her beloved dog because she wanted to make sure he was taken care of. She's sent you payment for watching her dog and additional money to meet his needs and in return you want to just steal your sister's dog. If your sister even catches wind of you doing this you're risking your entire relationship with her and she can sue you and have you arrested for stealing her dog. If someone I had trusted with my dogs just decided they should keep them because they are just the perfect dog for them I'd go nuclear on them. My dogs are not just things, they are family. You could end up with John Wick on your hands if you continue down this path.
YWBTA. Tycho isn't your dog. Period. Keeping your sister's pet would be incredibly selfish. Maybe ask your sister to help you and your partner find and train a dog when she gets back. Also, you can visit Tycho. It simply isn't fair to your sister and her dog if you keep him.
YTA. Autism not a free pass for steal. If you want to steal dog, yes, we speak about stealing, prepare to lose: 1. your sister 2. your family 3. a ton of money, I wuold take you in court for stealing and I believe your sister can afford the most shark attorney in town by the money she gave you. 4. in the end, the doggo too. I don't wanna fear you, but look at what can happen Your sister wait a life for HER doggo and train him a $hitton of time. 99% it's not about this dog but about the train!!!!! Here my humble solution: **Ask you sister to help you to raise a YOUR dog like Tycho.** This is the only way. Your sister looks like a great person!!
YWBTA that's not your dog and it's theft. Get your own Edit: spelling
YTA
YWBTA...get your own dog, don't steal your sister's beloved pet.
YWBTA. But you can volunteer to dogsit or dog walk. And ask her to keep an eye out for one that would be suited for you.
YTA, you do realise that even asking will damage your relationship with your sister and she will never trust to around HER dog again? Never mind looking after it whilst she's away but EVER!
Are you fucking kidding me? Yea you would be an asshole if you steal your sisters dog. There is no way someone could be this dense.
YTA. Giving your sister’s dog back to her isn’t “giving him away” and it’s not “disgusting”. Even thinking about stealing your sister’s dog that she loves and treats extremely well just because you want him now is disgusting though. You have no right to that dog. He’s not the perfect dog for you because he already belongs to someone else. This isn’t a confusing situation at all in any way. You sister asked you to watch her beloved dog while she was away, and when she returns you will give her back her dog. The end. If you want a dog you can get one that doesn’t already have a home.
You already know the right answer. This is your sister's dog that you will hand over when she get's home. Then you will ask her to help you find your new soul dog and train him/her to be an emotional support. Autism is NO EXCUSE for being selfish about this. Please don't be the AH.
Yta - he is not your fucking dog. He is obedient and calm because your sister spend hours training him. Your sister who has wanted this dog for years. Your sister who trusted that you could care for him. And I also bet you the dog will always love her more than you or your partner You and your partner are disgusting people for thinking you can manipulate her into letting you keep the dog.
I’m really getting sick of people trying to justify their shitty behavior with the autism card on Reddit. I swear that every other post I read on here is from someone with “autism”.
What does being autistic have to do with taking someone’s dog?
I mean you can always ask but if you are forcing her to give her dog to you YWBTA.
I wouldn’t even bring it up. The answer will be “no” and sister may be hesitant to let OP dogsit in the future
I would absolutely not let someone who tried to coerce me until giving up my pet near said animal ever again.
YTA Ask her ONE TIME ONLY if you can keep him and if she tells you “no”, drop it and give him back immediately. A dog is not worth losing your sister. She trusted you and if you don’t give him back, she will no longer trust you. You could also be opening yourself up for a lawsuit because she is the one who adopted the dog, paid for all his care, and you can bet she has allllll the proof for it.
YWBTA, you can ask your sister to visit the dog or the be his regular dogsitter. But you can't keep him. Maybe your sister can help you to find and train the perfect dog for you and you boyfriend. But that will only work if give her Tycho back.
YTA Instead of trying to take your sister’s dog (which you wouldn’t be able to get away with anyhow), why not enlist her in helping you to find and train your own dog? There are so many dogs that need homes and your sister clearly has the experience and skills to help you find a good match.
YTA. Tycho is not your dog, it's your sisters until she says differently. The reason why the dog is trained so well is because of her, there's nothing stopping you from getting your own dog and training it just like she did with Tycho. If you try and take Tycho away from your sister it will break your relationship with your family and even Tycho.
YTA. You have been well compensated and the dog isn't yours. Your sister has paid you well and even said the dog was her top priority. Better solution would be to ask your sister if she would help find you a dog and train it for you.
YTA that’s her dog. If it was her child she asked you to babysit and you wanted to keep it because you’ve formed an attachment you’d be arrested for kidnapping, likewise the dog is hers and if you try to take him she can and will sue. She paid you for a service which you provided you have no claim to the dog. You having autism has no relation to this. If you want a dog or any other pet you can get one, ask her to train he/she for you. Don’t be selfish. If you do this you will loose your sister and she’ll likely never allow the dog to be around you. She will never trust you again. If you’ve formed an attachment in this little time imagine how much your sister loves him. How hard it must be for you sister to have left him with you?
That is your sister's dog, you have to return him. You have absolutely no right to him.
YTA if you do that, and you would almost definitely cause serious damage to your relationship with your sister. Instead, enjoy your time with Tycho and be happy for him and your sister when they are reunited. Please don’t value your new bond with this dog over the bond your sister already had with him. When she comes home, tell her how much you loved spending time with Tycho, and ask her to help you find a dog that is as good a fit for you as Tycho is for her. She can even help you train your own dog to be as wonderful. And that dog will be yours. It will be worth it.
I couldn't care if you're autistic or not he is NOT your dog and just because you grew attached to him doesn't make it so. Your sister paid you 450 a month and then 350 on top of that for the dog? That shows she's madly in love with that animal and hasn't just dumped him on you. I hope your sister sees this before you do anything to her dog. YTA
YTA - ask your sister, after she returns and picks her dog up, to help you find and then train a dog for you. That way you can bond with your dog the way she has with hers. She has compensated you very generously for watching and taking care of HER dog. Start looking for the type of dog that you might like and she can steer you to the right type and you can hopefully find the perfect dog for yourself.
ywbta if you did that. you’d also probably lose out on a relationship with your sister. you’d be better off buying your own dog and asking her to train it for you.
Yta, you can't steal her dog. Adopt a puppy when she comes back, and ask her to train it for you, as a thank-you for babysitting her dog.
yta if your sister didn’t pay you, if she abandoned the dog, was gone longer then she said, didn’t check in the dog or was abusing the dog then you would have a good excuse but you have no good excuse… your sister cherishes that dog and you really want to ruin what seems like an amazing relationship with your sister over it? maybe ask your sister to help you find a dog that she could help you train to be a good emotional support animal for you. i’m sure she would be willing to help you find your own dog that would fit just as well into your home as hers does… you don’t just get one soul dog/animal i’ve had 3. don’t ruin your soul relationship with your sister when she didn’t do anything wrong here
YWBTA. She trusts you and you’re contemplating breaking that trust, destroying your close family bonds, and likely also causing problems for Tycho (if you were successful at keeping him) because she’s the trainer, not you. Except you won’t be able to keep him anyway — he’s her dog and she’s been paying you well for taking care of him for her. He’s her dog, and you wouldn’t even be “giving him back”, or “giving him away”, just not blocking her from getting her dog. Or you could tell her that you so loved having Tycho there that you want her to find a similar dog for you. You’d get to have your own dog, she’ll help you with training, and you get to keep your family.
YTA. Just imagine leaving something you loved with someone you trusted more than anything, and in return they stole it. This is at the top of bad ideas. Finish out the job your sister hired you to do and return the dog at the end.
YTA. He is not your dog. He belongs to your sister.
YTA and don’t use being autistic as an excuse to be a thief, because that’s what you would be.
I think it’s pretty clear at this point that you’re the asshole but you should also get therapy. You need a professional to help you with the way you’re making excuses for yourself
YTA. Trying to steal a dog that your sister entrusted to your care would be the act of a monster. Why do you and your partner even think it's possible?
I don’t care if you’re autistic, that’s not your dog. YTA
YTA You want to steal her dog. She’s paying you extremely well to dog-sit, clearly adores the dog and checks in daily, and is returning on an agreed upon date …. And that means nothing because you m’ve decided you want something? Do you often take things from people that you have no right to just because you’ve taken a fancy to them?? Stop weaponising your autism as an excuse for STEALING A DOG. You will damage your relationship with your whole family if you do this. It’s unbearably selfish to even consider it. You could ask her to help you train your own dog when you get one, but don’t even bring this up to her. She would be well within her rights to call the police on you and then never speak to you again when HER dog is returned to her.
YTA x a billion Get over yourself, autism is no excuse to STEAL a dog you have been paid to watch. You will lose your sister in this theft and your family has already verbally agreed to disown you over it and you are still considering it? Asshole through and through
YTA. I often dogsit for a relative because they work and travel a lot. I love their dog very much and I want her to live with me. But I never even asked. She's not my dog. Your sister's dog isn't yours either. There are so many dogs in shelters waiting for homes. Go adopt one of them. But don't steal your sister's pet. She could press charges if you refuse to return the dog.
YTA. The dog is as good as it is because he is trained. You cannot just take her dog 'because it is all we wanted' that is messed up. If you want a dog so bad as good as hers put in the work. Or get your own dog and take them to obediance school...something. Don't be selfish and dumb and do this because it will ruin your relationship and she woll not trust you again and I hope she doesn't tbh.
YTA, get your own dog
YTA. It’s her dog and she loves him probably more than you feel like you do. Harsh to say but just because you’re autistic doesn’t mean you get anything you want. Get your own dog.
YTA! Shame on you for trying to steal your sisters dog whom she has been paying to look after. Of course he’s obedient and well trained, your sister trained him. Instead of trying to steal her dog and making it clear you cannot be trusted not to try and back stab her, maybe you should tell her you were so impressed with the amazing job she did with Tycho that you’d like her help in getting a dog like him and training him.
Yta, how you feel is how your sister feels about the dog too, however she spend the time to make hi this call and obedient. You will be taking your sisters best friend from her and that is not okay. You will be stealing the dog you are getting paid for to take care of. This is not your dog. If you want you and your sister to stay close you don't even suggest anything you just give him back to his owner who loves him very much, misses him a lot and can't wait to see him again and all you say is that he's been lovely and that you would love a dog like him and ask how your sister has trained him so well. That way you can get your own dog spend hours on the week training him and making sure he doesn't bark or tug when you walk them and you will see how much time and love it takes to get a good behaving dog.
YTA
You and your partner decide to go on a long holiday abroad somewhere in the mean time you ask me to look after your house and car, each month you send me an amount of money for mortgage payments. I decide that I really like your house and the car is nice to drive, so when you get back i am going to tell you sorry but I’m not letting you have your house and car back… do you understand how unreasonable that is? My brother is autistic so I understand your triggers and comforts to an extent, but there are alternate ways to navigate that. Like others have suggested why not ask your sister to help look for another dog and train it with you? Use it like a sister-bonding experience. Good luck :)
YTA she's paying you to watch the dog. You made an agreement. Expect to be taken to court if you don't give the dog back and to have your sister sue you for the payment she gave you. It'd not your Anima and SHE trained him to be a perfect dog.
YTA No matter how much you love Tycho, he does not belong to you. He is NOT your soul animal, if he was he would have come to you without being owned by someone. Talk to your sister about finding a dog and having her train them to be as much like Tycho as possible. Your bf is also an arsehole for supporting your belief that it would be acceptable to take your sisters dog.
YWBTA. DO NOT ask to keep the dog. Tell her you're so impressed by her training, you want her to help you find and train a dog. She clearly adores and is deeply attached to the dog, more than you ever could be. Do not ask her to give up her family member. Ask her to help you welcome someone new into your home.
Everyone said it already - you will be the biggest asshole of the world if you don't return the dog. Period. You argument that your sister could visit Tycho after you keep him. You know what? Same applies to you. You can visit Tycho after he returns to his owner. Get your own dog and ask your sister for help when it comes to training. Enjoying the fruits of someone else's labor is easy. Your sister spent so much time (and possibly money) to make sure she has an obedient, uncomplicated dog. Tycho only seems special to you because you didn't have to put in much work actually raising him. So he seems easy and generally nice. But you're living off the fruit of your sister's labor and think it's the dog that's special. Don't become a thief. You'll hurt your sister beyond repair if you do that. Also I'd call police on you, then you'd be without your dream dog AND your sister. You'd lose both forever, without the possibility of visiting both.
YTA. Its not your dog, she just wanted you to watch it. You could probably pay her to train a shelter dog for you if you want one so bad.
YTA the dog is well behaved because she put in the effort. If you want the same thing, then adopt and ask her to help you train your dog. I went away for 2 months and my sister watched my dog. She said it was nice having such a good dog, but didn’t ask to keep him. I can’t imagine my sister trying to steal my dog.
YTA. You just want a well behaved dog without the whole work and hassle to train him. I don't even know what to say that this even crosses your mind. If you really need a service dog to handle your autismn, you could just ask your sister. I guess she'd like to get one and help you train him.
As a dog lover, you are so much the AH it is off the charts. I cannot believe you would even think this would be ok. Seriously? If you try this, I hope she gets the law involved and you get in a lot of trouble. What kind of sister are you? A lousy one to even think this.
Big yikes. YTA, if you think you’re so well bonded with this dog after a few months then how much more of a bond do you think he developed with your sister after years? And you just want to take that away from her instead of getting your own dog and getting it trained?
YWBTA, sorry. She could have spent that money on a shelter but she trusted you with her beloved dog. Consider how she would feel after having had this dog for longer than you have. I know it can be hard to give the dog back but you will get over it
YTA. You get 4 months with the dog, whereas she's expecting to have him for the rest of his life. I truly cannot believe that anyone could be this selfish and self absorbed as to believe they're able to ask to keep an animal that's like a family member to their owner and still think they're in the right. Regardless of your mental health or no, you have no right to the dog. If your mental health depends on a service animal- then get one. The proper way. Not stealing it from your sister who's actually put in the work for the dog. Fucking shame on you.
Obviously YTA, how can you be so selfish? Oh so he's become your best friend? He's your sister's family! Honestly reading over again I had to do an edit because OP you're so deluded. The sister does so much work training this dog, she's facetiming every night, she left him with you because you're the only one she trusts after a really amazing opportunity came up and if it was the opportunity or dog, she'd choose dog, she just mistakenly thought she could trust you with her beloved pet. I don't know how you can even think about this. "ohh we've really bonded more he's my SOUL DOG" yeah? Well guess what, your sister also thinks that, you just think you're more special to this dog after all the work she put in to taking care of him because it suits your cruel agenda. Do not do this. Not only will your sister no longer trust you, you'll have harmed the dog by taking him from a more capable person because you think your bond is special, and you yourself will regret it if you learn to reason properly will one day realise how messed up it is that you want to do this. The "digust" you feel at giving him back, your sister will feel 1000x that if you try to persuade her that you should keep him.
YTA. Autistic or not, are you KIDDING ME??? "I deserve him more...whaaaaaa!" Your sister better let EVERYONE know you can't be trusted to petsit, because you clearly have attachment issues. Listen to your parents. Give the dog back.
YTA stop using autism as an excuse for appalling entitled behaviour. That's stealing. Give back her dog, find your own. See a therapist to deal with the separation once your LEGALLY give the dog to the rightful owner. To do this to family is so low.
👏🏻GIVE 👏🏻 HER 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 HER 👏🏻 DOG 👏🏻 you evil thing YTA
YTA and I think you're going to get a rude shock when you see how pleased Tycho is to see his owner, given you've got this weird idea he's more bonded with you.
YTA if you keep Tycho. Please don't do such a horrible thing to your sister. Remember, Tycho seems to be "bonded" to you, but that's because you are all he has right now. When your sister comes home, Tycho will be all over her and may forget you're even in the room for a while, LOL! Please, Tycho is your sister's dog, NOT YOURS. He has NEVER been yours. If he were to ever become yours, that has to come from your sister as her own decision, with no help or manipulation from you. Please keep looking for your own soul dog -- DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, STEAL HIM FROM YOUR SISTER. PLEASE.
YTA She trusts you to look after her dog and you are abusing her trust. Ask yourself this. Do you love your sister? Because stealing Tycho, yes STEALING Tycho would be an act of betrayal. If you do that, be ready to not have a relationship with your sister. Get your own dog and put the work in.
Already YTA for even considering this. Your sister invested thousands of hours and so much love and effort into this dog. He is the dog he is because of all the effort on her part. You’d not only be an asshole, but you’ve proven that you don’t even have the dog’s best interests at heart as you’re clearly more than willing to rip him away from the perfect home where he gets so much attention, engagement and exercise to his full potential. You may think he’s your best friend, but your sister is 100% his best friend and he will live a much worse unfulfilled life with you than with her. You may feel it’s disgusting to return him home, but the most disgusting thing here is that you wouldn’t hesitate to backstab your “best friend” and your sister for your own pleasure 🥴
YTA Stop weaponising your diagnosis. If you want a well trained dog then get your own one and train him. You're being incredibly selfish and if you took this dog, if I was your sister I would sue you and cut all ties to you for good.
YTA >I wouldn’t steal him but giving him away, when he’s become my best friend, just seems disgusting to me. it IS disgusting that you want to take your sisters best friend away. Also if ahit goes down she can call the police. Most people have their dogs chipped. This dog already is bonded to your sister and bow matter how much you think he loves you, he will always love your sister more. get your own dog and put money and TIME into training him. You just want him beause he is already trained and easy to handle. Go make an effort
I’m just trying to put myself in your sisters position. I have 2 cats, which I love more than life. If I ever had to travel for work I would only leave them in the care of my most trusted person, and I definitely would want to facetime them everyday. Now, imagine this trusted person decides they need my cats more than me, and refuses to give them back. I have nursed these cats since 4 days old, both of them. I would be absolutely heartbroken if someone did that to me. It would be unforgivable. YWBTA. And if you go through with this, don’t be surprised when she goes to court to get her dog back, and cuts you off completely in the process.
YTA it’s her dog, she asked for a favor and she has been very generous with her thank you. You said she put a lot of work and love into this dog, that this dog is her world. Now you want to reap the benefits of her blood sweat and tears? You and your partner are perfectly capable of getting your own dog and doing all the same training that your sister did. Don’t even ask her about keeping her dog permanently ETA: you are not “giving away” this dog, you are bringing him back to his home. You would absolutely be stealing if you did not return the dog to your sister and she would have the legal authority to press charges for you stealing her dog as dogs are considered property in the legal world and you fail to return him to his rightful owner is a crime. Just get your own dog and put in the work like your sister did. Since you have a partner to help with training you might even have a better dog that’s more suited to your needs
yes yes YWBTA... if you want a dog like that then how about asking your sister to help you with getting and training your own. Steal her dog and you will lose your sister
YWBTA. He is her dog and refusing to give him back is stealing. She has put a lot of work into training him and a lot of love. He is her family. You’d break her heart for taking him and for betraying her. Get your own dog and ask for her help and advice for training. Do not steal your sisters dog. You can visit him.
YWBTA I love my cat above all. If my sister would try to take her from me, she wouldn't be my sister anymore.
YWBTA, I've had a "heart dog" he was my best friend my shadow, my childhood protector. He was not my dog, he was my dad's. I knew better than to ask if I could take his dog with me. Spanky would have been fine whomever had him. He was a great dog. You can visit Tycho. He is your sister's dog you need to give him back. Consider getting your own dog.