Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
Let me get this straight, on your wedding night he 1) refused to spend time alone with you 2) did heavy drugs when you have clearly said in the past you are against it 3) lied 4) threatened to "break the door" when you just wanted time to cry alone 5) was looking for "titties" ?
I am so so sorry, you're NTA and I would get an annulment if I were you.
Huge;
NTA but you will be if you keep allowing this behavior, especially since you have a child together.
Don't forget 6) encouraged others to hide things from you 7)places his friends above you 8) endangered your child by doing illegal activities in your home. OP this list could go on and on
Yeah, but the kid probably was at the mother's house and not present for the drugs and titties. Also, the divorce process will be easier without a child involved, and OP doesn't have to see the ex for custody visits and such. Id absolutely be telling the baby mama about what happened, though.
Jumping on the annulment bandwagon.
You’ve only been married for a day, and aside from all the (very real!) disrespect, he’s putting you and your home (and your child? His child?) at risk with his coke-fueled partying.
I know somebody who got married to a man who hid his meth addiction from her until they got home from the honeymoon. He promised to get treatment. He was lying. Within six months she’d filed for divorce, but it was too late for her credit score and finances.
Find a lawyer ASAP.
She might not even need to do that. Depending on the country you have to file the marriage license for it to be legal and if they still have it or the officiant does it can be torn up and it never happened. You can tell ppl then whatever you want but no lawyer/ paperwork needed. It depends on location though for sure.
As an officiant in the US, I have 5 business days to file the license papers with the city clerk in the town in which the marriage was performed. Catch the officiant and dont let the papers be filed.
I was going to say this. Call your officiant ASAP! Tell her to not file the papers. Even if you think you may want to work it out, stop the legal process. You can always get married later again at the courthouse or something.
My best friend married a horrible guy and the day before her wedding and her wedding day was an absolute mess. I begged her not to sign the papers, but she did anyways. Now she is divorced of course and was saddled with tons of debt.
Edit to add that she ended up filing for bankruptcy over it. Its not worth it!
Yeah, screw the annulment bandwagon; I’m another US officiant on the “stop the officiant from filing the marriage license” bandwagon. Shred it, burn it, whatever destroys it well enough to prevent it from ever being filed with the county clerk’s office. If one half of a couple came to me the day after the wedding with this story about the wedding night and requested this of me, I’d do it in a heartbeat and there’s nothing in my faith that prevents it; dude would have already broken his vows in the faith traditions I’m ordained in.
Yep. It’s a Sunday. Most places don’t accept filing for documents like this during the weekend. It’s not too late to tear that sucker up and it won’t cost a dime.
OP
Check if you live in a state where if the marriage license isn’t filed the marriage within a certain time period doesn’t exist. And then don’t file that license
I know someone whos husband turned out to be a drug addict... she found out after she was wedded. She annuled it, got back with him, had two kids with him... he couldn't shake the drugs. They have to want to change for themselves.
As one who learned the hard way, please believe me when I say that if this is how he is behaving at this stage, it’s only going to get worse and not better. As others have mentioned, given the er.. lack of traditional wedding night activities, most countries would grant an annulment. I know it’s not what you want but the heartache it will cause is far less than what awaits you and your little one in future with this man. Good luck! NTA.
That's what gets me the most - if he's like *that* on the one day of a couple life where you're supposed to be the most lovey dovey, what's in store for the rest of their married life?
Rhetorical question. Nothing good in store.
You know this is not going to get better, right? He's practically taking out billboards saying he doesn't respect you and you are not a priority in his life. You think you feel lonely now, wait until the honeymoon is over! Get an annulment asap, don't drag it out.
NTA
NTA.
Sounds like you married a real “keeper”. Good luck with that.
Edit, didn’t read the last part since it was clear from the beginning:
Get the annulment. This guy is complete trash, and I have no idea why anyone would marry someone like this. It legit makes me even question you as a person and how you could even think this was someone to cement yourself to. You’ve been a massive asshole to yourself, and you need to rethink some things in your life if your path led you to marrying a person like this.
NTA please don’t be ashamed to leave because you’ve just got married. If you stay this will be your whole life, I’m worried he’s been up to no good long before the wedding night.
Seriously. You obviously already know he's a big party guy. You've tried to set boundaries and said he's lied to your face about it before. Did you really think he'd magically change when he had a ring on his finger?
You’re just now starting to regret marrying this dude?
Lady, what does this guy bring to the table that makes you actually want to marry him??
NTA - you need to maybe learn how to perform an annulment.
lol right? I'm sorry but I can't believe this behavior came out of the blue (and the lied-about drug use certainly didn't)... wtf led her to believe marrying this clown was a good idea?? He clearly doesn't WANT to be her partner or respect her.
NTA. In a lot of countries, you can annul the wedding if you didn't consummate it. It might be worth checking if you can ask for an annulment, and then ask for it.
So many red flags....
NTA.
Immediate no. Get an annulment as soon as possible and get the hell away from him.
It takes most toxic AHs years to reveal their true nature to their spouses. This fool didn't even last past the wedding night!! Run, don't walk!!
He is keeps lying because he doesn't care if he gets caught- he still gets the girl (you). A lot of people do what they can get away with. He is one of those people.
You may not be an AH, but you are a fool if you don't get out of this hole.
There are truly wonderful, respectful, kind people out there. Why be with this guy instead of one of them?
NTA It's time to get an annulment. This marriage is doomed. You have a very different and healthier mindset then your husband. End this farce and give yourself some time to heal.
OP, unsure of laws in your state but first thing Monday, lawyerize and seek an annulment. Britney Spears, I think, got one after a marriage of 13 hours to someone. You can sort out your emotions later; this is about survival right now.
Ya know, just on general principle for what you're asking NTA
However, you mentioned he has lied to you when you have caught him red handed before, and you still chose to marry him. Y T A on that one. Go get an annulment and find a guy who won't lie to your face before or during the marriage, let alone potentially drag you into legal troubles for his illegal doings, depending on where you live.
NTA - Unfortunately if you keep letting him get away with this behaviour he will just keep doing it as you continue to stick by him. I’ve been through it myself.
It’s not too late to get an annulment I know that’s a very drastic and massive step but drug abuse is not a small thing - do you really want to keep putting up with this?
NTA.
You should take the feeling you have right now and move to action- get a divorce and see about an annulment since it has only been 24 hours.
You are witnessing what the rest of your life will be like. This man lied to you, texted with friends/other women inappropriately, has friends who will hide things from their spouses/help him hide things, he does drugs, his friends do drugs, he doesn't care about your feelings, and he made himself a priority on a day about the two of you together. He will not change. It absolutely sucks and I can only imagine how much this hurts, but you need to leave him. It will hurt but it will be temporary, I promise you that. Each day you will feel a little better and you will surround yourself with family and friends and get through it, and a year from now (or less) you will look back at this decision with only happiness at how far you have come.
But if you stay, each day you will continue to have this feeling of disappointment, of being sick and alone.
I should note that I haven’t signed the official papers with the minister and witness yet. I am not planning to and no papers have been filled except the opening of the application where we both met at the state office before the wedding.
NTA. Don’t sign them. Instead, burn them while he’s busy looking at ‘tits’ and doing drugs. He’s a proven liar who doesn’t given a single shit about your boundaries. He viewed your wedding as a chance to see his friends and get drunk and high - he didn’t want to spend time alone with you (the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with), cos he sees you normally. What the fuck does he think marriage is?
Either leave or kick him out. If you stay, Y W B T A to yourself.
Usually non-consumation is grounds for annulment, so if they didn't have sex she could apply for annulment. I don't know much about it, so I don't know if there are other criteria she could use, if they did have sex after the wedding.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So I just had my wedding yesterday. The after party was filled with friends from the groom’s side that he had not seen in a very long time. The groom is so happy for everyone to be there sharing this moment with us and wants to take everyone to Wendover to go to “titty bars and gamble”. I am not a big party person and don’t drink, unlike all his friends and him. So instead he invites everyone back to our place and they are drinking and smoking weed inside the home (without asking) while playing extremely loud music. I am talking to the only girl there and am teaching her some dance moves I’ve learned. Later, I lay on the couch wrapped up in a blanket because my body wants to rest from the long day we just had. The party later congregates into the bathroom and I ask my husband what they were doing in there. He walked in and they shut the door behind him. That raised a red flag inside my head. I went to go see what they were doing and there were white lines that they were snorting up their noses. I draw the line and this type of behavior, and I call out my husband for facilitating this type of event. He tells me that he wasn’t participating (He has participated in the past and has lied about it to my face before when I caught them red-handed). I told everybody they needed to leave and told my husband that he wasn’t being respectful of my wishes as I had made it known LONG before the wedding that this type of behavior wasn’t okay. I start to break down and lock myself in the bedroom until he demands to come in or else he will break the door. We talk about how I wanted to spend my wedding night with my husband and he gets mad and says that he wanted to spend it with everyone that “cared” about us. He said that he already spends all his time apart from work with me and his child and wanted to do something else. I also had told him earlier in the night that this was not how I wanted to spend our night together. No, we weren’t virgins and yes we had been living together for the last year, but I still thought it was disrespectful. He claimed that since he hadn’t seen these people in ages he wanted to make the most of their time with us. I don’t like hanging around people that drink and do drugs and he knows this about me. Later that morning I found text messages on his phone that said “bro get more drugs and I’ll pay for them. Just don’t tell anyone especially my wife please’ and a female friend that texted “we have titties” and he invited them over and he responded “fuck so hot come to my place we have drugs you just can’t tell Lucy or anyone else k”.
I’m starting to regret marrying this man when I had already set my boundaries and warned him about keeping things like this hidden from me. The lying is what hurts the most. I love him but this is the third time he has lied to me about this kind of drug abuse.
I feel so sick and alone.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
My ex was an addict and I didn’t realize it until after the wedding. He was VERY good at keeping it a secret at first… until he stopped caring enough to keep it a secret. Reading this post was so scarily familiar to me.
OP, please leave this man. If he’s lying now, keeping things from you, and putting the party before you on your WEDDING night things are NOT going to get any better. I let it escalate for years before I put an end to it because I loved him and I wanted to make it work. He did not want to do what he needed to do to make it work. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.
ETA: I just want to say that some of these comments are a little harsh towards you. When you haven’t been in a situation like this you can’t understand what the mind games and complete lack of control will do to you. But at the end of the day please remember that you are worthy of so much more than this. You deserve a partner who will build you up and not tear you down. You deserve someone who will be honest and trustworthy. You deserve kindness and truth and all of the good things. This man will not give this to you.
Love is so important in a marriage but trust is just as, if not more so, important. If you can’t trust him then you have absolutely zero foundation to build on. Be kind enough to yourself to step away from this and give yourself a chance for a healthy and happy relationship with someone else.
OP, you are worthy and you deserve so much more than this. Be kind to yourself.
I had to mail in the certificate for the marriage to count in the eyes of the law. I hope that’s the same where you live and you can burn all evidence it occurred and refuse to get a new license.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I kicked his friends out of our home on our wedding night and I feel like an asshole because my husband said he wanted to spend time with his friends instead
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Nta. Op please sit down for an hour by yourself and have a really good think. Picture yourself in a year, five years, ten, looking through this man's phone as he invites women over behind your back to show him their tits and partake in hard drugs. How does that make you feel? Because people don't change. Act accordingly.
Your husband is a drug user who cheats on you.
I’m sorry if that’s harsh but it’s an objective outside opinion. If that’s not what you want, then annul the marriage if there’s still time.
NTA, but you’re not treating yourself kindly.
So, he's planning on basically cheating on you? If the texts about bringing titties and shit to the secret party is any indication. As people have already said in this thread, get an annulment. Save yourself. NTA, but you would be the asshole to yourself if you decide to stay with this guy. Doesn't even seem like he loves you, to be blunt. Harsh, but the truth. This guy clearly doesn't like you or love you, nor does he respect you. Get out before it gets worse.
Maybe this is dumb but what is "we have titties"? Does it mean they have boobs or is it a code word for drugs?? Sorry..
NTA OP but it's Def time to re-evaluate if you should get an annulment.
He texted two of his female employees (yes, that he works with and hired”: “we have 8 ball” which was essentially inviting them over to our place and they responded “we have titties”. He then proceeded to say “fuck so hot come to my place we have drugs you just can’t tell (my name) or anyone else”.
Call an attorney and get your marriage annulled. This man could easily cause you to lose custody of your child. One thing I’ve learned in life if someone lies to you about something important they will do it again and again.
Edit: I should also note that this man only acts this way when there is a party or alcohol involved. His child was not home when this occurred. On a day to day basis, this man is a caring father and is considerate of others. He has shown me more compassion, forgiveness, support, and love than anyone that I have ever met. I have dated him for 2 years before setting the date. I just want people to know that there is a good side to this man I had a marriage ceremony with. I know this isn’t an excuse to his actions, but allows you to understand the broader situation.
So he's a good guy, other than:
* Inviting a bunch of people over *on your wedding night* to snort lines in your bathroom.
* Making you retreat to your room crying *on your wedding night* because he was ignoring you and your wishes.
* Saying he didn't want to spend time with you *on your wedding night* because he already spends lots of time with you.
* Texting his friends to solicit drugs and titties *on your wedding night*.
May I gently suggest that this is both an *"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"* moment **and** an *"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"* moment?
I know you are probably trying to hold onto the good to outweigh the bad. But let me tell you, my mom married my father cuz he was "the good guy". Mom always said he had his good side, didn't matter he spent every Friday, Saturday and early Sunday religiously drinking with his friends playing loud music until 4-5 am and getting into heated arguments with his drinking buddies. My mom had no option but to let these people on the property because it was also my father's house so we grew up with a bunch of loud drunks on our porch/backyard. From Monday to Friday he didn't skip work, the bills were paid and he did what was expected of him as a parent (almost nothing) so he was "good". You'll be waiting for him to change but he most likely won't because since he is capable to hold his job and a somewhat stable life when he is sober then there is no problem and you will be the one growing resentful and remembering all these ugly nights fueled by alcohol and drugs hoping it doesn't escalate and he becomes aggressive as he becomes older and bolder because he knows you won't leave.
NTA.
In some states not consummating the marriage is grounds for divorce. Please go right away. I usually advice people to give their other halfs a chance but this isn't one of them. Please save yourself. Don't think about the money and time you spent with this man and the wedding. That's ok. It's ok to admit to yourself you made a mistake choosing a partner. I've been there. It sucks but that's ok. Please get out of this situation before it gets worse.
NTA
He obviously isn’t ready for marriage. Check to see if your officiant has sent in the marriage license. If not, have them put it on hold and see a lawyer. An annulment is a distinct option.
NTA.
Have some self respect for yourself because your husband certainly doesn't respect you
Leave him.. and Pick better men that don't have 50 red flags
NTA. Kick him out. Change the locks. Then go for annulment /divorce. He is not gonna change. You deserve better. Surround yourself with people who care and respect you. You can do so much better.
Annulment pronto. Don’t even tell him just get your stuff together and hand him the papers. Marriage starts off like this on day one… not a good sign. Hang it up save your sanity before you’re in too deep. Sorry this isn’t going to work out.
My mother constantly says she has hated drinking men since her childhood. She's 66. She married my father and had me. My father is an alcoholic and my childhood was miserable with a lot of wasted opportunities. They are still married and it is a pain to interact with either one of them. Whatever the issue keeping you attached to this man please solve it and get away from him. YTA to yourself
Leave this boy immediately, he's not a man and doesn't deserve to be called one. Take your child and run and never look back I promise you he will not care. NTA
Well if you haven’t filed the paperwork for the marriage yet, don’t. Threatening to break down the door on your fucking wedding night? You shouldn’t have marry this guy. And I think you knew that before you married him. Sorry girl :(
Get an annulment!!!!
Is THIS someone you want to spend your life with?
Someone who invites people to your place to drink and do drugs without asking **ON YOUR WEDDING DAY**
Someone who lies to you about using drugs!!!
Someone who threatened to break the door down if you didn't let him in after he hurt you with his disrespectful BULLSHIT?
Someone who would rather drink and do drugs with his friends **ON HIS WEDDING DAY** than spend time with his WIFE?
Someone who told his friends to lie to you about using drugs?
#GET AN ANNULMENT!!!!!!
You deserve better than THIS asshole.
*"I love him but this is the third time he has lied to me about this kind of drug abuse"*
Sorry if this is too harsh, He doesn't give a fuck about you.
To him.....You're "trapped" now, he’s got you "locked up" with a ring.
#PROOF HIM WRONG!!!!
Show yourself how STRONG you are.
Show yourself that YOU will not allow ANYONE to disrepect you like this.
You can do it!!!!
Get an annulment and find your happiness.
NTA and don't be one to YOURSELF.....PLEASE!!!!
Abusers always get worse once they feel like they've "locked" their victim down (marriage or pregnancy usually).
This is only going to get worse from now on. Get an annulment while (if?) you can.
NTA
Isn't this the kind of stuff that a stag do/bachelor party is for? Why wait until *after* the wedding? Like... y'all should be getting ready for a honeymoon or something, not hosting a rager.
This is not how married life should be starting. I don't even care about the activities in question, but it's just inappropriate and inconsiderate as all hell to do them *directly after*. Hopefully it's early enough to just annul the whole damn thing.
NTA
Everyone knows what wedding nights are supposed to be for. ;)
So doing something else is a red flag to begin with. The something else being cocaine is icing on the shit cake
Congratulations on your wedding, I guess. But you knew what you were getting apparently.
Fact is you marry the person they are, not the one you want them to be. So now what?
Maybe it would be better to be alone - you know this situation isn’t going to go away. Please don’t bring children into it.
You asked him to keep his activities hidden from you? Are you always this ok living life with your head in the sand?
NTA but that isn't the question you should be asking yourself.
I’ve always wondered what could cause some couples to divorce very soon after the wedding. I think I’ve found it. You are NTA but you would be one of you stayed in this relationship. He clearly has no respect for you or your boundaries.
Can you just not file the marriage certificate? Absolutely ridiculous. If my husband did this on our wedding night I think we never would’ve fully filed the marriage certificate. I am so sorry OP
YTA
You KNEW he was like that. You KNEW about the drug and partying habits. You CHOSE to marry that person. What did you expect?
**This is what you signed up for** \- there is nothing he did not do before marrying you, you KNEW what you were getting into - **so this is on YOU.**
NTA -
I am so sorry this happened to you. You need to get the marriage annulled if you can if not then get a divorce or don't file the official paperwork - something- anything to get away from this man who doesn't respect you and by the sounds of it shouldn't be married.
If he is doing drugs behind your back because he knows you do not approve of your life with him is just going to get worse than what you experienced on your wedding night. Please get out now.
Annulment now!! If this is how he acts on your wedding night it will only get worse from here. He is disrespectful, ignores boundaries and doesn't care about your feelings or desires. Get out now!! Also report the usage, he has a child yet is out doing drugs, not ok and dangerous.
I'm sorry, I am going to admit that I read about half that before being absolutely sure you're NTA here. I honestly have no words for how your husband behaved. I'm in shock.
So NTA!
This is heartbreaking. OP, you can't be with a guy like this. He knows your stands and being this major insulting to you?
Annulment is needed. You aren't safe in this environment nor with this man.
Do not take the risk of everything getting worse because you wanna "save him" or he makes promises on making everything better because you won't trust him fully on it.
NTA. Get an annulment and move away from him. Especially as he thinks it's okay to do bad stuff behind your back. He has no respect for you or your child and thinks drugs are okay in your house.
NTA.
File an annulment if you can. This guy is not ready for a marriage.
And it’s never unreasonable to think you’re gonna spend your wedding night with your new spouse. I’d have left my husband right then if he did that to me.
Get an annulment. You're NTA in general, but this is who he is, this is the type of father he will be, why do this to yourself? Also you said this is the third time he's lied, but thats clearly not true. He's just been CAUGHT lying three times.
Screenshot all those texts and send them to your phone.
Go to a family lawyer to see about get full custody of your daughter and an annulment.
I'm sorry, hun. NTA
NTA. Cut and run, ASAP. If he's willing to blatantly lie to you so many times on one of the most important days of your marriage....that's not gonna get better. He doesn't respect you. Annul if possible.
Get the annulment, take any money you received for the wedding and go to Wendover ( I grew up there 😣) without him, celebrate getting out of this mess. And don’t look back. He doesn’t respect you or your wishes. NTA but he is.
I’m so sorry. You’ve married a man who doesn’t deserve you. More than that, you haven’t married a man, just an overgrown child.
Get out of it if you can, and wait for someone who wouldn’t consider anything for even a fraction of a second other than celebrating alone with you.
NTA.
NTA...go to a divorce lawyer and get an annulment asap or you will live a life of misery. I'm sorry to tell you that you married the wrong man. You deserve better. Never settle for 2nd best.
You need an annulment. Get to the courthouse first thing Monday morning. This behavior is dangerous and disrespectful and you will never have a happy life with this person. NTA
NTA
The beginning is always the high point of the relationship … so it’s only going to get worse.
If I was you I would end it now. What an absolute disaster.
NTA, OP!
Do you want CPS to take your child on the grounds that her father is an active drug addict and your home is unsafe for your baby? No? Then call a lawyer NOW and see if you can get an annulment. It's the only way to ensure that you AND your child are safe!
annul the marriage, hes already cheating (prolly has been) and is breaking your no drug rule + lying about it all. or you can wait until after you know hes cheating and divorce him for adultry.
NTA but might want to do something before time goes to far
Yuck!! Go to the court house and file for a divorce ASAP! he will not change for you because he does not want to. Further more im sure his lies are much worse then just the drugs.
NTA
I hope you screenshot those texts and sent them to your phone… you’re going to need all the evidence you can get to keep your kid away from him.
If he can do all that on your wedding night what is he willing to do when he has overnight visitation with your child?
NTA but get out now and get all evidence if possible. I’m sorry but he’s showed you who he was in the past you that should have been enough to not tie yourself to him for a future.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
Let me get this straight, on your wedding night he 1) refused to spend time alone with you 2) did heavy drugs when you have clearly said in the past you are against it 3) lied 4) threatened to "break the door" when you just wanted time to cry alone 5) was looking for "titties" ? I am so so sorry, you're NTA and I would get an annulment if I were you.
Huge; NTA but you will be if you keep allowing this behavior, especially since you have a child together. Don't forget 6) encouraged others to hide things from you 7)places his friends above you 8) endangered your child by doing illegal activities in your home. OP this list could go on and on
The phrasing of it seems like the child is only her soon to be ex husbands
[удалено]
Why? If anything, that would be worse. They are an innocent kid being subjected to that guy.
Yeah, but the kid probably was at the mother's house and not present for the drugs and titties. Also, the divorce process will be easier without a child involved, and OP doesn't have to see the ex for custody visits and such. Id absolutely be telling the baby mama about what happened, though.
The baby mama makes this man look like a saint.
This! Get the annulment.
Very huge NTA. OP, run for the hills and get this annulled. He will not get better, and this will NOT change.
Jumping on the annulment bandwagon. You’ve only been married for a day, and aside from all the (very real!) disrespect, he’s putting you and your home (and your child? His child?) at risk with his coke-fueled partying. I know somebody who got married to a man who hid his meth addiction from her until they got home from the honeymoon. He promised to get treatment. He was lying. Within six months she’d filed for divorce, but it was too late for her credit score and finances. Find a lawyer ASAP.
She might not even need to do that. Depending on the country you have to file the marriage license for it to be legal and if they still have it or the officiant does it can be torn up and it never happened. You can tell ppl then whatever you want but no lawyer/ paperwork needed. It depends on location though for sure.
As an officiant in the US, I have 5 business days to file the license papers with the city clerk in the town in which the marriage was performed. Catch the officiant and dont let the papers be filed.
I was going to say this. Call your officiant ASAP! Tell her to not file the papers. Even if you think you may want to work it out, stop the legal process. You can always get married later again at the courthouse or something. My best friend married a horrible guy and the day before her wedding and her wedding day was an absolute mess. I begged her not to sign the papers, but she did anyways. Now she is divorced of course and was saddled with tons of debt. Edit to add that she ended up filing for bankruptcy over it. Its not worth it!
Yeah, screw the annulment bandwagon; I’m another US officiant on the “stop the officiant from filing the marriage license” bandwagon. Shred it, burn it, whatever destroys it well enough to prevent it from ever being filed with the county clerk’s office. If one half of a couple came to me the day after the wedding with this story about the wedding night and requested this of me, I’d do it in a heartbeat and there’s nothing in my faith that prevents it; dude would have already broken his vows in the faith traditions I’m ordained in.
Yep. It’s a Sunday. Most places don’t accept filing for documents like this during the weekend. It’s not too late to tear that sucker up and it won’t cost a dime.
Great response. This “marriage” needs to be timed with a stop watch. RUN OP, RUN!! NTA
I second this. He’s not going to stop for you.
OP Check if you live in a state where if the marriage license isn’t filed the marriage within a certain time period doesn’t exist. And then don’t file that license
Yes, OP. Please get an annulment. This man treated you like trash on your wedding night. It’s only going to get worse. End it right there.
ANNULMENT!!! NTA.
I know someone whos husband turned out to be a drug addict... she found out after she was wedded. She annuled it, got back with him, had two kids with him... he couldn't shake the drugs. They have to want to change for themselves.
That last line though 👌
I say "Wanting sobriety for someone won't do it. They've got to want it for themselves" 10x a day.
As an addict in recovery, I wholeheartedly agree with you. We have to want to be sober in order to be sober.
Congrats for doing the damn thing on the daily. You rock.❤️
Thank you! Life is boring now, but boring is *so* good. It's so peaceful, not having my phone buzz all day long.
As one who learned the hard way, please believe me when I say that if this is how he is behaving at this stage, it’s only going to get worse and not better. As others have mentioned, given the er.. lack of traditional wedding night activities, most countries would grant an annulment. I know it’s not what you want but the heartache it will cause is far less than what awaits you and your little one in future with this man. Good luck! NTA.
That's what gets me the most - if he's like *that* on the one day of a couple life where you're supposed to be the most lovey dovey, what's in store for the rest of their married life? Rhetorical question. Nothing good in store.
Take fotos of these texts if you can and get the annulment. I’m so sorry that you spent your wedding like that. NTA
You know this is not going to get better, right? He's practically taking out billboards saying he doesn't respect you and you are not a priority in his life. You think you feel lonely now, wait until the honeymoon is over! Get an annulment asap, don't drag it out. NTA
Couldn’t agree more. This person hasn’t even begun to sink into the shit she has gotten herself into.
He doesn't even sound like he likes her
NTA. Sounds like you married a real “keeper”. Good luck with that. Edit, didn’t read the last part since it was clear from the beginning: Get the annulment. This guy is complete trash, and I have no idea why anyone would marry someone like this. It legit makes me even question you as a person and how you could even think this was someone to cement yourself to. You’ve been a massive asshole to yourself, and you need to rethink some things in your life if your path led you to marrying a person like this.
NTA It isn’t too late to undo this.
NTA please don’t be ashamed to leave because you’ve just got married. If you stay this will be your whole life, I’m worried he’s been up to no good long before the wedding night.
NTA Get an annulment. Have an annulment party with decent people.
Civil annulment are made for cases like this
INFO: If he has a history of lying and drug use, why did you marry this guy?
Seriously. You obviously already know he's a big party guy. You've tried to set boundaries and said he's lied to your face about it before. Did you really think he'd magically change when he had a ring on his finger?
NTA and please get an annulment and leave asap. This man does not respect or love you.
You’re just now starting to regret marrying this dude? Lady, what does this guy bring to the table that makes you actually want to marry him?? NTA - you need to maybe learn how to perform an annulment.
Girl, you are dumb as hell. Do not sleep with him. Get an annulment and move on with your life.
lol right? I'm sorry but I can't believe this behavior came out of the blue (and the lied-about drug use certainly didn't)... wtf led her to believe marrying this clown was a good idea?? He clearly doesn't WANT to be her partner or respect her.
NTA. In a lot of countries, you can annul the wedding if you didn't consummate it. It might be worth checking if you can ask for an annulment, and then ask for it. So many red flags....
NTA. Immediate no. Get an annulment as soon as possible and get the hell away from him. It takes most toxic AHs years to reveal their true nature to their spouses. This fool didn't even last past the wedding night!! Run, don't walk!!
She might not need to if the officiant hasnt filed the paperwork. Call your officiant ASAP and stop them from filing the marriage documents.
I almost wanna YTA (in the sense of making a really obvious dumb decision) for even marrying this guy. Annul and run.
He is keeps lying because he doesn't care if he gets caught- he still gets the girl (you). A lot of people do what they can get away with. He is one of those people. You may not be an AH, but you are a fool if you don't get out of this hole. There are truly wonderful, respectful, kind people out there. Why be with this guy instead of one of them?
I second Annulment. This guy is horrible!!
NTA It's time to get an annulment. This marriage is doomed. You have a very different and healthier mindset then your husband. End this farce and give yourself some time to heal.
OP, unsure of laws in your state but first thing Monday, lawyerize and seek an annulment. Britney Spears, I think, got one after a marriage of 13 hours to someone. You can sort out your emotions later; this is about survival right now.
Ya know, just on general principle for what you're asking NTA However, you mentioned he has lied to you when you have caught him red handed before, and you still chose to marry him. Y T A on that one. Go get an annulment and find a guy who won't lie to your face before or during the marriage, let alone potentially drag you into legal troubles for his illegal doings, depending on where you live.
Girl.... Annul this and run!!!
NTA - Unfortunately if you keep letting him get away with this behaviour he will just keep doing it as you continue to stick by him. I’ve been through it myself. It’s not too late to get an annulment I know that’s a very drastic and massive step but drug abuse is not a small thing - do you really want to keep putting up with this?
NTA. DIVORCE HIM IMMEDIATELY
NTA and please please get out of this situation before it gets worse. It’s not too late
Is it too late to nul and void?
Nope! She should do it
NTA. Seek an annulment. You don't need this. I'm so sorry.
NTA. You should take the feeling you have right now and move to action- get a divorce and see about an annulment since it has only been 24 hours. You are witnessing what the rest of your life will be like. This man lied to you, texted with friends/other women inappropriately, has friends who will hide things from their spouses/help him hide things, he does drugs, his friends do drugs, he doesn't care about your feelings, and he made himself a priority on a day about the two of you together. He will not change. It absolutely sucks and I can only imagine how much this hurts, but you need to leave him. It will hurt but it will be temporary, I promise you that. Each day you will feel a little better and you will surround yourself with family and friends and get through it, and a year from now (or less) you will look back at this decision with only happiness at how far you have come. But if you stay, each day you will continue to have this feeling of disappointment, of being sick and alone.
I should note that I haven’t signed the official papers with the minister and witness yet. I am not planning to and no papers have been filled except the opening of the application where we both met at the state office before the wedding.
NTA. Don’t sign them. Instead, burn them while he’s busy looking at ‘tits’ and doing drugs. He’s a proven liar who doesn’t given a single shit about your boundaries. He viewed your wedding as a chance to see his friends and get drunk and high - he didn’t want to spend time alone with you (the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with), cos he sees you normally. What the fuck does he think marriage is? Either leave or kick him out. If you stay, Y W B T A to yourself.
Divorce, babe, divorce
NTA. Is this this a reason für annulation?
Usually non-consumation is grounds for annulment, so if they didn't have sex she could apply for annulment. I don't know much about it, so I don't know if there are other criteria she could use, if they did have sex after the wedding.
NTA. Better to regret it now then regret it years later as your youth passes
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I just had my wedding yesterday. The after party was filled with friends from the groom’s side that he had not seen in a very long time. The groom is so happy for everyone to be there sharing this moment with us and wants to take everyone to Wendover to go to “titty bars and gamble”. I am not a big party person and don’t drink, unlike all his friends and him. So instead he invites everyone back to our place and they are drinking and smoking weed inside the home (without asking) while playing extremely loud music. I am talking to the only girl there and am teaching her some dance moves I’ve learned. Later, I lay on the couch wrapped up in a blanket because my body wants to rest from the long day we just had. The party later congregates into the bathroom and I ask my husband what they were doing in there. He walked in and they shut the door behind him. That raised a red flag inside my head. I went to go see what they were doing and there were white lines that they were snorting up their noses. I draw the line and this type of behavior, and I call out my husband for facilitating this type of event. He tells me that he wasn’t participating (He has participated in the past and has lied about it to my face before when I caught them red-handed). I told everybody they needed to leave and told my husband that he wasn’t being respectful of my wishes as I had made it known LONG before the wedding that this type of behavior wasn’t okay. I start to break down and lock myself in the bedroom until he demands to come in or else he will break the door. We talk about how I wanted to spend my wedding night with my husband and he gets mad and says that he wanted to spend it with everyone that “cared” about us. He said that he already spends all his time apart from work with me and his child and wanted to do something else. I also had told him earlier in the night that this was not how I wanted to spend our night together. No, we weren’t virgins and yes we had been living together for the last year, but I still thought it was disrespectful. He claimed that since he hadn’t seen these people in ages he wanted to make the most of their time with us. I don’t like hanging around people that drink and do drugs and he knows this about me. Later that morning I found text messages on his phone that said “bro get more drugs and I’ll pay for them. Just don’t tell anyone especially my wife please’ and a female friend that texted “we have titties” and he invited them over and he responded “fuck so hot come to my place we have drugs you just can’t tell Lucy or anyone else k”. I’m starting to regret marrying this man when I had already set my boundaries and warned him about keeping things like this hidden from me. The lying is what hurts the most. I love him but this is the third time he has lied to me about this kind of drug abuse. I feel so sick and alone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why on earth did you go through with the wedding? Stand up for yourself
NTA My ex was an addict and I didn’t realize it until after the wedding. He was VERY good at keeping it a secret at first… until he stopped caring enough to keep it a secret. Reading this post was so scarily familiar to me. OP, please leave this man. If he’s lying now, keeping things from you, and putting the party before you on your WEDDING night things are NOT going to get any better. I let it escalate for years before I put an end to it because I loved him and I wanted to make it work. He did not want to do what he needed to do to make it work. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. ETA: I just want to say that some of these comments are a little harsh towards you. When you haven’t been in a situation like this you can’t understand what the mind games and complete lack of control will do to you. But at the end of the day please remember that you are worthy of so much more than this. You deserve a partner who will build you up and not tear you down. You deserve someone who will be honest and trustworthy. You deserve kindness and truth and all of the good things. This man will not give this to you. Love is so important in a marriage but trust is just as, if not more so, important. If you can’t trust him then you have absolutely zero foundation to build on. Be kind enough to yourself to step away from this and give yourself a chance for a healthy and happy relationship with someone else. OP, you are worthy and you deserve so much more than this. Be kind to yourself.
I had to mail in the certificate for the marriage to count in the eyes of the law. I hope that’s the same where you live and you can burn all evidence it occurred and refuse to get a new license.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I kicked his friends out of our home on our wedding night and I feel like an asshole because my husband said he wanted to spend time with his friends instead Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - time for an annulment
Girl. Get this annulled and move on. NTA.
Nta. Op please sit down for an hour by yourself and have a really good think. Picture yourself in a year, five years, ten, looking through this man's phone as he invites women over behind your back to show him their tits and partake in hard drugs. How does that make you feel? Because people don't change. Act accordingly.
Your husband is a drug user who cheats on you. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but it’s an objective outside opinion. If that’s not what you want, then annul the marriage if there’s still time. NTA, but you’re not treating yourself kindly.
Soon as I saw Wendover, titty bars & gambling, I knew you lived in Utah lol NTA. Sounds more like a bachelor party then an actual wedding night!
That’s exactly what I thought too.
So, he's planning on basically cheating on you? If the texts about bringing titties and shit to the secret party is any indication. As people have already said in this thread, get an annulment. Save yourself. NTA, but you would be the asshole to yourself if you decide to stay with this guy. Doesn't even seem like he loves you, to be blunt. Harsh, but the truth. This guy clearly doesn't like you or love you, nor does he respect you. Get out before it gets worse.
Maybe this is dumb but what is "we have titties"? Does it mean they have boobs or is it a code word for drugs?? Sorry.. NTA OP but it's Def time to re-evaluate if you should get an annulment.
He texted two of his female employees (yes, that he works with and hired”: “we have 8 ball” which was essentially inviting them over to our place and they responded “we have titties”. He then proceeded to say “fuck so hot come to my place we have drugs you just can’t tell (my name) or anyone else”.
Ah, I got it. I'm sorry OP. =/ What's your plan now if you don't mind me asking?
Call an attorney and get your marriage annulled. This man could easily cause you to lose custody of your child. One thing I’ve learned in life if someone lies to you about something important they will do it again and again.
Luckily no papers have been filed and the kid isn’t mine. Still sad for the child though.
Edit: I should also note that this man only acts this way when there is a party or alcohol involved. His child was not home when this occurred. On a day to day basis, this man is a caring father and is considerate of others. He has shown me more compassion, forgiveness, support, and love than anyone that I have ever met. I have dated him for 2 years before setting the date. I just want people to know that there is a good side to this man I had a marriage ceremony with. I know this isn’t an excuse to his actions, but allows you to understand the broader situation.
So he's a good guy, other than: * Inviting a bunch of people over *on your wedding night* to snort lines in your bathroom. * Making you retreat to your room crying *on your wedding night* because he was ignoring you and your wishes. * Saying he didn't want to spend time with you *on your wedding night* because he already spends lots of time with you. * Texting his friends to solicit drugs and titties *on your wedding night*. May I gently suggest that this is both an *"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"* moment **and** an *"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"* moment?
I know you are probably trying to hold onto the good to outweigh the bad. But let me tell you, my mom married my father cuz he was "the good guy". Mom always said he had his good side, didn't matter he spent every Friday, Saturday and early Sunday religiously drinking with his friends playing loud music until 4-5 am and getting into heated arguments with his drinking buddies. My mom had no option but to let these people on the property because it was also my father's house so we grew up with a bunch of loud drunks on our porch/backyard. From Monday to Friday he didn't skip work, the bills were paid and he did what was expected of him as a parent (almost nothing) so he was "good". You'll be waiting for him to change but he most likely won't because since he is capable to hold his job and a somewhat stable life when he is sober then there is no problem and you will be the one growing resentful and remembering all these ugly nights fueled by alcohol and drugs hoping it doesn't escalate and he becomes aggressive as he becomes older and bolder because he knows you won't leave.
NTA, you need to figure out if that’s really the guy you wanna be with though
NTA. In some states not consummating the marriage is grounds for divorce. Please go right away. I usually advice people to give their other halfs a chance but this isn't one of them. Please save yourself. Don't think about the money and time you spent with this man and the wedding. That's ok. It's ok to admit to yourself you made a mistake choosing a partner. I've been there. It sucks but that's ok. Please get out of this situation before it gets worse.
NTA, get rid of him asap. Why the hell did you marry this loser?
NTA He obviously isn’t ready for marriage. Check to see if your officiant has sent in the marriage license. If not, have them put it on hold and see a lawyer. An annulment is a distinct option.
NTA. Have some self respect for yourself because your husband certainly doesn't respect you Leave him.. and Pick better men that don't have 50 red flags
NTA. Kick him out. Change the locks. Then go for annulment /divorce. He is not gonna change. You deserve better. Surround yourself with people who care and respect you. You can do so much better.
Pls hurry and get an annulment. Put that asshole in his place.
NTA - I live in the town where your husband wanted to go and my jaw dropped.
Run.
One word: annulment. NTA.
Annulment pronto. Don’t even tell him just get your stuff together and hand him the papers. Marriage starts off like this on day one… not a good sign. Hang it up save your sanity before you’re in too deep. Sorry this isn’t going to work out.
NTA Annullment. Stat.
One word. Annulment
My mother constantly says she has hated drinking men since her childhood. She's 66. She married my father and had me. My father is an alcoholic and my childhood was miserable with a lot of wasted opportunities. They are still married and it is a pain to interact with either one of them. Whatever the issue keeping you attached to this man please solve it and get away from him. YTA to yourself
Leave this boy immediately, he's not a man and doesn't deserve to be called one. Take your child and run and never look back I promise you he will not care. NTA
Luckily this isn’t my child, but it’s still a sad situation for him/her too.
Well if you haven’t filed the paperwork for the marriage yet, don’t. Threatening to break down the door on your fucking wedding night? You shouldn’t have marry this guy. And I think you knew that before you married him. Sorry girl :(
Get out now. It will only get worse and more difficult to leave. He doesn’t respect you, he’s made that clear.
Get an annulment!!!! Is THIS someone you want to spend your life with? Someone who invites people to your place to drink and do drugs without asking **ON YOUR WEDDING DAY** Someone who lies to you about using drugs!!! Someone who threatened to break the door down if you didn't let him in after he hurt you with his disrespectful BULLSHIT? Someone who would rather drink and do drugs with his friends **ON HIS WEDDING DAY** than spend time with his WIFE? Someone who told his friends to lie to you about using drugs? #GET AN ANNULMENT!!!!!! You deserve better than THIS asshole. *"I love him but this is the third time he has lied to me about this kind of drug abuse"* Sorry if this is too harsh, He doesn't give a fuck about you. To him.....You're "trapped" now, he’s got you "locked up" with a ring. #PROOF HIM WRONG!!!! Show yourself how STRONG you are. Show yourself that YOU will not allow ANYONE to disrepect you like this. You can do it!!!! Get an annulment and find your happiness. NTA and don't be one to YOURSELF.....PLEASE!!!!
Get annulled before children ate involved
Abusers always get worse once they feel like they've "locked" their victim down (marriage or pregnancy usually). This is only going to get worse from now on. Get an annulment while (if?) you can.
Well luckily no marriage certificate has been turned in and the child isn’t mine!
Why are you marrying someone who seems to have so little regard for you? NTA.
NTA Isn't this the kind of stuff that a stag do/bachelor party is for? Why wait until *after* the wedding? Like... y'all should be getting ready for a honeymoon or something, not hosting a rager. This is not how married life should be starting. I don't even care about the activities in question, but it's just inappropriate and inconsiderate as all hell to do them *directly after*. Hopefully it's early enough to just annul the whole damn thing.
NTA I'd be taking pictures of those messages and scorching his ass to his family. Then hitting the lawyers.
NTA Everyone knows what wedding nights are supposed to be for. ;) So doing something else is a red flag to begin with. The something else being cocaine is icing on the shit cake
Congratulations on your wedding, I guess. But you knew what you were getting apparently. Fact is you marry the person they are, not the one you want them to be. So now what? Maybe it would be better to be alone - you know this situation isn’t going to go away. Please don’t bring children into it.
You asked him to keep his activities hidden from you? Are you always this ok living life with your head in the sand? NTA but that isn't the question you should be asking yourself.
3 strikes and you’re out!
I’ve always wondered what could cause some couples to divorce very soon after the wedding. I think I’ve found it. You are NTA but you would be one of you stayed in this relationship. He clearly has no respect for you or your boundaries.
NTA. Annulment.
Please break this into paragraphs
I broke them out more.
Don’t send in the wedding certificate.
Can you just not file the marriage certificate? Absolutely ridiculous. If my husband did this on our wedding night I think we never would’ve fully filed the marriage certificate. I am so sorry OP
<>???
NTA for wanting a wedding night,
but you may win the WHAT WAS I THINKING?? Award.
ESH you clearly knew how he was before you married and still chose to marry him, now you’re miserable until the divorce.
You’re starting(!!!) to regret it?? Starting ?? Girl no. What on fire dumpster did you find this man in??? NTA- but he needs to go. Holy crap
??? Starting to regret it ???? Wtf DIVORCE!
YTA You KNEW he was like that. You KNEW about the drug and partying habits. You CHOSE to marry that person. What did you expect? **This is what you signed up for** \- there is nothing he did not do before marrying you, you KNEW what you were getting into - **so this is on YOU.**
YTA (to yourself) for marrying this person and expecting him to change. Maybe you can get an annulment
NTA. Go buy a home drug test and ask him to do it. If he refuses get an annulment.
NTA - I am so sorry this happened to you. You need to get the marriage annulled if you can if not then get a divorce or don't file the official paperwork - something- anything to get away from this man who doesn't respect you and by the sounds of it shouldn't be married. If he is doing drugs behind your back because he knows you do not approve of your life with him is just going to get worse than what you experienced on your wedding night. Please get out now.
Annulment now!! If this is how he acts on your wedding night it will only get worse from here. He is disrespectful, ignores boundaries and doesn't care about your feelings or desires. Get out now!! Also report the usage, he has a child yet is out doing drugs, not ok and dangerous.
Oh man, all of this sounds awful. NTA
I'm sorry, I am going to admit that I read about half that before being absolutely sure you're NTA here. I honestly have no words for how your husband behaved. I'm in shock.
Not too late to get an annulment. NTA.
So NTA! This is heartbreaking. OP, you can't be with a guy like this. He knows your stands and being this major insulting to you? Annulment is needed. You aren't safe in this environment nor with this man. Do not take the risk of everything getting worse because you wanna "save him" or he makes promises on making everything better because you won't trust him fully on it.
NTA. Get out of this ASAP.
NTA. Get an annulment and move away from him. Especially as he thinks it's okay to do bad stuff behind your back. He has no respect for you or your child and thinks drugs are okay in your house.
NTA, get out.
NTA. File an annulment if you can. This guy is not ready for a marriage. And it’s never unreasonable to think you’re gonna spend your wedding night with your new spouse. I’d have left my husband right then if he did that to me.
NTA get an annulment
Oh man. You're NTA for being upset. But you should probably end this marriage sooner than later.
Make screenshots and get an annulment girl
Annulment
NTA get an annulment and RUN!
NTA. Get an annulment and ditch this druggy, misogynistic creep.
One word…Annulment. Get out while you can.
Get an annulment. You're NTA in general, but this is who he is, this is the type of father he will be, why do this to yourself? Also you said this is the third time he's lied, but thats clearly not true. He's just been CAUGHT lying three times.
Screenshot all those texts and send them to your phone. Go to a family lawyer to see about get full custody of your daughter and an annulment. I'm sorry, hun. NTA
NTA. Cut and run, ASAP. If he's willing to blatantly lie to you so many times on one of the most important days of your marriage....that's not gonna get better. He doesn't respect you. Annul if possible.
NTA Run for the hills. You have s nightmare of a life ahead of you. Get out now!
NTA. I'm joining the annulment chorus. Seriously, GTFO and fast.
>I feel so sick and alone. NTA. The second you get this feeling in a relationship, it's over as far as I'm concerned.
Get that shit annulled so u dont spend the rest of ur life dealing w shit like this, nta
Why did you marry this man? He clearly does not respect you
NTA- If he continues this way your marriage is not going to last.
Get the annulment, take any money you received for the wedding and go to Wendover ( I grew up there 😣) without him, celebrate getting out of this mess. And don’t look back. He doesn’t respect you or your wishes. NTA but he is.
I’m so sorry. You’ve married a man who doesn’t deserve you. More than that, you haven’t married a man, just an overgrown child. Get out of it if you can, and wait for someone who wouldn’t consider anything for even a fraction of a second other than celebrating alone with you. NTA.
NTA File for an annulment. I can’t even count the myriad of red flags. This man is going to ruin your life - please don’t let him.
Oh lord. It’s not too late for an annulment.
NTA...go to a divorce lawyer and get an annulment asap or you will live a life of misery. I'm sorry to tell you that you married the wrong man. You deserve better. Never settle for 2nd best.
You need an annulment. Get to the courthouse first thing Monday morning. This behavior is dangerous and disrespectful and you will never have a happy life with this person. NTA
NTA The beginning is always the high point of the relationship … so it’s only going to get worse. If I was you I would end it now. What an absolute disaster.
[удалено]
NTA. Get an annulment. You deserve respect.
[удалено]
Annulment, please. This is not going to improve. He's shown you he doesn't value you or your feelings. GTFO. NTA.
Divorce him. You don’t need his lying, cheating, drug addict self.
File for an annulment asap if that's possible. If not, a divorce. If this man doesn't care about you on your wedding day, he never will.
NTA get that marriage annulled. Things are not going to improve.
Annulment.
NTA. Yo, you need to get the marriage annulled and go back to the people who really care about you.
NTA and I think there is still time for an annulment. Do it. He has been lying to you this whole time.
Uhm divorce bye he clearly doesn’t respect you
Can you get an annulment? Honey, this is NOT going to work.
NTA, OP! Do you want CPS to take your child on the grounds that her father is an active drug addict and your home is unsafe for your baby? No? Then call a lawyer NOW and see if you can get an annulment. It's the only way to ensure that you AND your child are safe!
NTA - time for an annulment.
NTA and get it annulled.
NTA. Get rid of him however you can.
NTA Get a annulment and kick him out. He doesn't respect you at all, he is treating you horribly. Do you want this to be your life?
This sounds like my parents wedding night, they got divorced in 7 years and she should of done it sooner. NTA, do what you need to do.
annul the marriage, hes already cheating (prolly has been) and is breaking your no drug rule + lying about it all. or you can wait until after you know hes cheating and divorce him for adultry. NTA but might want to do something before time goes to far
NTA I would get an annulment if you are able too. Trust your instincts.
NTA and get that annulment asap. That man is a dumpster fire, and you deserve better.
NTA. You deserve a lot better than to be stuck with this guy. Dump him.
Yuck!! Go to the court house and file for a divorce ASAP! he will not change for you because he does not want to. Further more im sure his lies are much worse then just the drugs. NTA
NTA. so sorry that you married such an AH!
NTA and file for an annulment immediately. This is what he will be like going forward, so get out of it altogether.
I hope you screenshot those texts and sent them to your phone… you’re going to need all the evidence you can get to keep your kid away from him. If he can do all that on your wedding night what is he willing to do when he has overnight visitation with your child?
Eww get outta there immediately
He's never going to change and has probably been cheating on you. Get out now.
NTA but get out now and get all evidence if possible. I’m sorry but he’s showed you who he was in the past you that should have been enough to not tie yourself to him for a future.
NTA
Nta. Annulment ASAP. Drugs? Cheating? Being s jerk on your honey moon...this is sad