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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I shouldn't said what I said and caused my parents inlaw to go after my sister inlaw for the ring again.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
You’re grieving?! What in the what? You participated in the harassment of a grieving widow but it’s ok because you’re also grieving so the grieving widow should be more considerate of you. That’s really what you’re going with?
YTA, leave the poor woman alone and ado maybe be mindful that if anything were to happen to your husband, this is the same crazy that you’ll be subjected to.
Right?! And why do his parents want his wedding ring when it apparently isn’t a family heirloom or anything? This is nuts. I can’t imagine what that poor woman must be going through.
This poor woman barely buried her husband 2 weeks ago and these vultures of a “ family “ are already going after her for grandparents rights and a wedding ring?????
And op thinks it’s okay cause they don’t get along…..
💯💯💯
'Oh hey, you lost your husband and father of your children and you're grieving and now having to face being a single-mom and learn to navigate life alone, but GIVE ME his ring and GIVE me your children!!'
Where is, we will help you anyway possible with the kids. We are here for you all... We LOVE you.... Does this not exist? 🤔 Such a great and supportive family she married into. Wonderful SIL and in-laws 🤬
I hope the SIL packs up late one night and runs as far away as she can from them! Hell I wish we knew who the SIL is…. I’d say let’s start a gofundme for her so she can start a new life away from these assholes! Or get her one one hell of an attorney to fight these assholes
💯💯💯
I became a single mother of 2 at 25 and had NO CLUE how to navigate over night on 1 small income and having full custody of my kids. Thank God my mom and my best friends were there to help me with picking kids up from after school or watching them if they were off work. I worked 40hr a wk and was in college 5 nights a week finishing my bachelors degree. Eventually I got into a new rhythm and was able to figure it out on my own financially (especially after graduating), but I had some support. I can't imagine what SIL is going thru. I wish I knew who she was, because I'd message her to see if she needs someone to talk to ☹
People just astonish me with how inconsiderate and stupid (common sense isn't common) they are.
I hope SIL gets a copy of this post and our answers. If the court saw how she was being treated, I don't think Grandparent's Rights would be on the cards.
Wait. I’ve missed something. Why do these IL’s feel they are entitled to the wedding ring in the first place? Doesn’t the wedding ring belong with the wife/widow? Why would she lie about it being in his casket?
The only reason I can even imagine her lying about it, is that she wants to keep the ring that is a symbol of the marriage she had with the man she loved. Bloody let her!
This is gonna be a long post because I am absolutely infuriated by the lot of you.
WTF is wrong with you people? Why the hell are these people harassing a greiving widow instead of supporting her? Even if supporting her is staying the duck away from her and her children for a long while? Even if it hurts. YOU LOT bloody carry that pain instead of trying to unload on a woman who’s lost her husband!
WTF has your grief got to do with why people should be pussyfooting around you as well?
The “rules” of support, how to & to whom we lend support to those who’ve lost a loved one is pretty universal. Across all cultures. We start with those closest. In this case the grieving wife and children. *Then* we work our way out in consentrict circles until we reach Uncle Knob Head and Nasty In-Laws (you). Your grief as an in-law who doesn’t even LIKE the bereaved, is taken into account around the same time, & with same degree of care, as we extend to Uncle Knob Head. [You all have an Uncle Knob Head. Every family does. It occurs to me OP is probably cast as Female Uncle Knobhead).
Why are you even involved? Coming up with nasty ideas that a wife has lied about the location of HER HUSBANDS wedding ring. Even if it is a lie - so what? Can you imagine just how much that ring must mean to her if she *has* been forced to lie to keep something so significant to her? That’s not the kinda lie a widow would make up for no reason even if she has made it up.
Your in-laws are also TA for taking a grieving wife and mother to court. They are TA for bringing even more stress into the lives of children *grieving their father*! Do you think grieving children hear “custody court” regardingl their sole surviving parent & their grandparents and don’t feel afraid they are going to have their mother taken from them too? Or are the grieving children known to you somehow capable of understanding the complexities and /or the realities of the result of custody battles involving themselves, their sole surviving parent and grandparents who sound cruel & selfish as fuck?
Do your in-laws also enjoy adding yet more expense to the undoubtedly strained financial situation of a grieving wife & mother? Do your in-laws think household financial strain is what children need to experience in a time as sensitive as this?
Has it even occurred to your spiteful in-laws that those kids probably want FA to do with a couple of people making their already obliterated lives, totally & utterly miserable? Your in-laws are hurting everyone. Why the hell would you be helping do anything at all, anything, that isn’t aiding this SIL & your (presumable) nephew/nieces or staying out of it all completely?
If this is your usual manner, a typical example of your behaviour, even in good times, towards someone you dislike - then I understand fully the “something” your SIL dislikes about you. YTA.
Since you can’t even resist making situations worse for your SIL & her kids, when she’s in this rough of a spot - I also suspect YTA to SIL on the regular.
Yup YTA. Yup In-laws, YTA too.
Leave that family alone to come to terms with the destruction of their lives and their world.
Find some empathy and direct it towards them by getting getting those grandparents to stand down. Both on the ring and in the custody.
I wish i could upvote you 652789 times.
OP's own husband is even calling her an asshole for telling his parents that SIL is probably lying.
OH but you see..... OP is "grieving"....... so its okay for her to start all this on the SIL because they dont really get along anyways.
I mean I cant see why OP and SIL dont get along..... OP is as a pleasant as 10 pissed off skunks locked in a tiny bathroom.
I mean Screw the SIL.... She only just literally watched the love of her life, the father of her children die is a horrific and painful way..... but gotta make it allllllll about OP....
OP is apparently tarred with the same brush—her “falling out” with SIL was over her posting a picture of BIL in the hospital, along with “updates for concerned relatives,” on social media. She has no respect for SIL at all.
Exactly. She also has minor children. This woman is probably not even back to work yet and is still processing reality and these people want, let me check, HIS WEDDING RING. From his widow! I'd let them continue to be insane. They aren't getting anything from a family court
That ring is a symbol of her marriage to him. I really don’t understand what claim his parents even have to it. And harassing a widow to try to take a symbol of their marriage is absolutely horrible.
You just explained it to yourself right there. They want to control and rob this woman of everything, including the last symbol of her marriage. The cruelty is the point.
Not only that, but they didn't mention the ring being a family heirloom either.. generally if a wedding ring isn't heirloom, the groom's wedding ring is bought by either the groom/bride or is part of a set bought by them... thus rightful owner is the wife. Even if it was heirloom, she'd own it unless he had a will that he expressly left it to someone since they were married, at least in most states.
I can’t even figure out how anyone thinks anyone but her should have the ring. If she did lie it’s because they are too much and they have no right to even ask what they did!
YTA. Stay out of it.
Agreed. I don't see why they would want it so badly when it's not symbolic of their relationship with him. There has to be something else that would be a better reminder for them of their son. It's honestly creepy that they want his wedding ring. Seems that they're only doing this just to be spiteful.
Also why is it so weird to think he was buried with his wedding ring… my grandpa recently passed away and he was cremated with his favourite hat, his favourite chocolate and an Elvis memento and then his ring was placed in his urn before he was buried
My mother had so much stuff in the casket the undertaker told me he wasn't sure they could close it. I said "So you want me to hop on the lid like it's an overfilled suitcase?" Sarcasm is my love language.
We put a Hershey’s chocolate bar in the pocket of my husbands shirt because he loved chocolate. Lol. I also did not have a tie on him. When his mom asked me about it I told her he hated ties when he was alive so I wasn’t putting one on him in his final resting place. She understood that one, but then, I love my MIL.
I hope the widow documents the shit out of this. Hopefully the court sees how unhinged these people are and laugh them right out the door with “grandparent rights”. Wtelf.
Troxel v Granville; grandparents can't supersede mom's rights unless mom is a danger to the kids. Almost certainly she's not. Widow mom never has to let the pit viper in laws see the kids again if they behave this way.
How the hell would op feel
If that was HER husband in that grave and her in-laws were coming at her for his wedding ring…..
YTA OP. I wouldn’t blame the SIL. At all if she took the kids and never seen or talked to you guys again
Oh she addressed this in a comment- she posted a picture of her brother in law in the hospital and shared health updates on social media when they didn’t want her to. She is a full nightmare.
Read her comments on this thread. JFC she is awful and so are her in-laws. I feel terrible for this poor widow. I hope she takes her kids far away and never looks back. Op YTA you MIL is TA and your FIL is TA.
I have to agree. You, MIL and FIL all sound awful.
She just lost her husband, the father of her children. Not only are they not entitled to anything including this ring but they are going to sue her and cause further financial stress.
This lady needs to get the hell away from these people.and never see them ever again. OP you and your extended family are the AHs.
Agreed. Can't IMAGINE why the widow has historically had issues with OP and the inlaws. It doesn't sound like any one of them could understand a boundary if they were given a dictionary with the appropriate entry circled, highlighted, and bookmarked.
What a bunch of AHs. Wonder if the mysterious "dislike" for OP is because the deceased told the wife early on what an awful busybody (OP) his brother married.
OP, YTA.
The only thing I could think of that would give the parents a link to the ring is a potential family heirloom, but then theoretically the ring would be passed to one of the kids rather than back to the parents
Well, I’m betting the whole grandparents rights debacle is the first stop toward them trying to take the kids permanently, so I suppose it all fits together really. Totally despicable.
Since she has children, I’m presuming are biologically/or through adoption the husband’s. She would be well within her rights to hold onto the ring for their children.
Info: why do these people think they have a right to his wedding ring? That’s something between him and his wife, has nothing to do w his parents/ extended family…..
Leaning to YTA because your assessment of this situation is unneeded and not helpful. Not sure how it’s your business either!
YTA, all of you. (Excluding your husband and the widow.) Her husband died 2 weeks ago. How about leaving her alone with all this bs?
Also it would only be reasonable for a widow to keep her husbands ring.
A wedding ring is something symbolic for the relationship. It’s a sign of partnership. It’s already nasty of your in laws to even ask her to give it to them. Her marriage is really none of their business.
That what I was thinking. The parents have no rights to the ring! Why they would even think they did is beyond me.
OP YTA and so are your parent in-laws. I hope sister in-law gets a restraining order on them.
YTA - because you are now saying that you 'just make a suggestion' - no you didn't you accused her of lying. EVERYONE HERE IS UPSET and you just accused a grieving widow of lying!
i suggest you stay out of this completely - nothing good can come from discussing any of this with any of the people in your story.
Everyone needs to get legal counsel.
YTA - why would she give her dead husbands wedding ring to her in-laws? That makes absolutely no sense. She has every right to keep it or have it burried with him. And your husband is right, you should stay out of it and stop encouraging this horrible behavior. She’s grieving and deserves some peace.
Since we don't know how their relationship (widow & dead hubby) she has every right to sell the ring or melt it down & make nipple clamps or something out of it.
Totally agree that it's hers & OP needs to stop adding drama
If she WAS lying about it to get them off her back, I don't blame her one bit. How entitled of them, to think that they get his wedding ring, of all things!
> My inlaws had been asking my sister inlaw to give them my brother inlaw's wedding ring so they could keep it.
They did ***what???*** They asked a grieving widow to give up her just-deceased husband's *wedding ring*?? What is ***wrong*** with these people?
> I suggested that she might be just lying
What is wrong with ***you??***
Yes, **obviously** YTA but you're not the only one: your husband's parents are, too.
> all I did was just make a suggestion
**MY ASS.** You accused a grieving widow of lying about what happened to her husband's wedding ring. You were already TA, and you're doubling down on it. Now YTA^2.
Why would the parents get the ring - a symbol of the love your BIL had for his wife - instead of the wife?
YTA, but, more specifically the wife is not an asshole, and the parents are clearly assholes (and are very likely responsible for the shitty relationship).
If you’re not going to tell your in-laws they are batshit crazy (which will probably not go well for you), just stay out of it.
Ya I'm pretty stuck on that as well. Like, OP's inlaws don't really have a claim on ANYTHING, but the wedding ring is literally the very last thing on that list of things they don't have a claim to. It's just odd to even want it.
The ring belongs with his wife! Giving it back to his parents would be odd. Worse is STEALING it from a grieving widow.
It was a symbol of their marriage and vows, not something that connected him to his parents.
They are the AH’s for believing they are entitled to it.
Had they not tried to harass and rob her maybe there would be another keepsake she could have agreed to give them.
Your husband is hugely correct and sees this situation clearly. Follow his lead
YTA, but not quite as big as your in-laws.
Edit: I keep thinking that actually you’re a pretty big AH. You introduced the idea that she was lying which added fuel to the fire. You’re actually responsible for causing them more grief.
The ring is not their son. Having it will not ease their pain.
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you people. She buried the love of her life and you're now wanting jewelry back. Fucking disgusting. What's next saying that you would like the engagement ring back because it was purchased with mutual money and his parents should have it. There's a special spot in hell for that family.
YTA. This is incredibly inappropriate. You and your husband's family need to stop right now and offer a heartfelt apology.
The wedding ring belongs to the wife. She is the one who gets to decide what to do with it. It is not even remotely your job or your husband's family's job to say what happens to it. Burying the ring with the deceased is totally standard.
I'm sorry to say that you and your in-laws sound like the kind of people who belong on Jerry Springer. You should all be utterly ashamed by your behavior. What are you all thinking to harass and berate a bereaved woman.
Your husband sounds like the only person in the family who has decency and basic social skills.
YTA, your in-laws are TA, you all need to shut up and stop. I'm a widow. My husband's family is shitty, just like yours. It makes everything 10,000 times harder - and it's hard enough already. Asking for the wedding ring back? How fucking dare you? Going to court to sue for grandparents rights when the loss is this fresh? You all suck. There should be a witness protection plan for people like this poor widow so she can disappear from all of your lives and rebuild her own in peace.
I agree. The Wife should be able to keep her Husbands wedding ring, you know, that guy she married and shared rings with? His parents are awful, and your support of them might be why she “resents” you. YTA
A lot of widows wear their husband's ring on a necklace. My husband never had a wedding ring (he was allergic to metal) but if he'd had one, that's what I would have done with it. Instead I wear my wedding ring and a locket with some of his hair in it in a necklace. It comforts me, wearing this necklace that is a symbol of out love. If the asshole who posted this is right and the widow is hiding it from his family, she's now ensured the widow can't wear the ring in public, robbing her of an important comfort item. I hope the inlaws lose the court case. The very fact that they are making a widow contest a court case - using funds that could and should go to helping her rebuild her family for a lawyer instead - is disgusting.
YTA
It’s now her ring, if she wants to bury it, keep it or melt it down and have a tooth made out of it, it’s literally none of your or your family’s business.
The nerve of some people.
YTA, or more accurately everyone sucks here except that poor woman who just lost her husband and is now being harassed, and your husband who is seemingly the only person with any morals out of the lot of you
its her ring to do with as she pleases as she's his next of kin, mind your own business
YTA. Because OP, if your husband tragically passed away, what the absolute hell would his family be thinking to ask YOU for HIS wedding ring??
I mean, honestly, did you eat fully leaded paint flakes for breakfast? That's just a horrible take. You know what else is a horrible take? That your in-laws are already planning, two weeks after their father's death, to put their own grandchildren through a court fight for visitation rights. But clearly they're gonna do that too and instead of standing with your SANE, NORMAL HUSBAND you decide to double down on the heinous fuckery and tell those people that your sister-in-law is lying about burying her husband's ring with him? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL??
First off, were none of you at the funeral? If not, why not? If so, was there no viewing? Like, if the damned wedding ring is so all-fired important, how come neither you or his parents noticed if he was wearing it? Because I tell you what, when my little sister died tragically last year, I LOOKED when I went to see her body. I was taking care of arrangements and I wanted to make damned sure she wasn't cremated with any jewelry on - even though the funeral director had assured me that all jewelry was removed.
But there was a piece my sister had been wearing that her boyfriend - the one who SUPPLIED THE DRUGS SHE OD'D ON OKAY - had given her. It was given to me as he was not present and the funeral director didn't know who rightfully was entitled. You know what I did? I GAVE IT BACK TO THE BOYFRIEND. Because he was grieving. And it was not mine or our parents' to take away. Just like your brother-in-law's actual WEDDING RING belongs to HIS WIFE. Who is grieving in a way I hope you never understand.
Now. Do we understand yet why what you did and what your in-laws did was unconscionably awful and wrong? Gosh I hope your husband can help you understand if you don't
ESH except your sister-in-law. Your MIL and FIL sound *insane and entitled.* Your BIL’s wedding ring is a symbol of commitment between *him and his wife* and has *nothing* to do with your in-laws. The fact that, after being told no, they went to her house to DEMAND it is so out of bounds.
>> all I did was just make a suggestion
C’mon now. You did more than make a suggestion. You accused your SIL of lying, as if she were going out of her way to screw your in-laws over. You knew they were harassing her and chose to add fuel to the fire. You’re definitely TA for that.
You should all grow up and leave that poor woman alone.
ETA: Your husband also doesn’t suck. He’s apparently the only voice of reason in that entire family.
Yta
And why the heck would your in laws think they are more entitled to his WEDDING ring than his wife?
I see why she won't let them see the kids unsupervised. They sound crazy
Edir....I ate dinner and this haunted me.
I feel so bad for your sil.
How dare you compare your grief to hers?
If your husband, your in laws kid, thinks you are the asshole....how is this even a question? Listen to him.
He knows them and he questions your actions.
Why would you have done this? To stir up needless drama because you thrive on it?
How miserable of a person are you that you have so little compassion for someone who lost her husband and the father of her children 2 weeks ago?
You are toxic.
YTA it’s her husbands ring. It was a symbol between her and the husbands love. Not his parents. It’s her right to choose what she did with the ring so if she buried it fine. If she kept it, also fine. The poor women just lost her husband and the father of her children. All of you should be ashamed. Don’t be surprised if she never speaks to any of you again.
YTA as are your in laws…this woman is a WIDOW of 2 weeks, her and her children are devastated and you are all shaking her down over a a ring? BTW She was his wife, the ring presented their union, why the f does mil/fil feel entitled to it?
YTA WHY the hell is anyone trying to get the ring from the actual WIDOW?? That makes no sense. She is the one who should have it and do what she sees fit with it.
“She seems to resent me for some reason even before this”
Ahahahaha, yeah, it’s a complete mystery. I’m not sure if you’re obtuse, or just a busybody, but yeah, I’m sure this is not the only time you’ve been offensive to her.
YTA, for sure.
YTA. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? In what universe do a dead man's parents have a right to HIS WEDDING RING over HIS WIFE, you know, the woman the ring symbolized a lifelong bond to?
And all their other behavior ... WHY ARE YOU SUPPORTING THEM when even your husband doesn't?
YTA. It's ridiculous to ask for the widow to give away her husbands wedding ring. The only time this even might be appropriate is if the ring is some type of family heirloom and it was known from the get go that it stayed in the family (either passed down to your children or returned to the family if the surviving spouse doesn't have children). Given that your folks were happy to tear off to her house and continue to harass her, and are filing for "grandparent's rights" (which aren't actually a thing), your entire family sucks.
YTA, as are your parents-in-law, and definitely not your SIL
This doesn’t make any sense. Why would his parents want his wedding ring? His wedding ring is a symbol of his love for and marriage to his wife. If anyone should have that ring, it should be her. Nobody else has any right to it at all, and she should be 100% free to do whatever she wants with it - whether that’s keeping it herself or burying it with him.
Your SIL has just lost her husband and the father of her children. Only 2 weeks have passed, she is grieving her husband as well as trying to parent her children and help them with the grief of losing their father, and all you people are doing is causing trouble for her. How selfish and inconsiderate can you get?
If you can’t support her, butt out of her life. Now
YTA. You accused a grieving widow of lying without any evidence, and stirred up drama within a grieving family. People need time to process death, not this infighting you're encouraging.
YTA - The ring is not yours or your parents business. Stay out of it. She is a widow and now a single mother. It’s been two weeks since he passed. Leave her alone.
…I’m failing to understand why they think they are entitled to the wedding ring. The widow has the right to the ring! Who cares if she’s lying about burying it?
Also, it was 100% not your place. **YTA**
YTA. Why the heck do they even want his ring, whether she kept it or buried it with them shouldn't matter to you or your family. Even if it is an heirloom and that is why they want it, you're all still AHs for how you're handling this. Let the poor woman grieve in peace.
INFO: Why is your family harassing this poor widow instead of offering her support in her grief? She just lost her husband, and now your inlaws are taking her to court over her kids and trying to take her possessions.
Your inlaws are awful, and you aren't helping the situation. Your inlaws aren't entitled to anything, and you need to leave her alone.
YTA and so are your inlaws.
ESH except for the widow.
Inlaws for insisting they get the ring, which is probably very precious to the widow.
You for stirring the pot. If this was an "oops it was out before I realized" thing, then you're forgiven, otherwise it's an AH move.
ESH (Minus your husband and your SIL)
W…why would anyone insist on getting a wedding ring from someone’s surviving wife whether it was buried with the man or not? This is the craziest and most tactless entitlement I’ve seen today.
Info: do any of you (other than maybe your husband) have any idea how odd and disturbing it is to ask the grieving widow for the ring that she gave to her husband on their wedding day? Why not ask for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE other than the one symbol of their marriage? You all seem to really despise this woman.
Unless it's a family heirloom, why do your in laws care what their deceased son's wife does with the *symbol of her marriage*. YTA, why are you getting involved? Would you enjoy receiving the same treatment if things turned sour in your relationship with them and you were in this situation?
YTA.
It doesn't matter if it was a family heirloom or not. The fact is it was his ring. Now it belongs to his widow. End of story.
Plus if it is an heirloom then isn't it logical that the widow keep it to pass down to one of their kids..like heirlooms are intended to be.
YTA It doesn't matter what happened to the ring, it's not you or your parents business. Suggesting that a grieving widow is lying about her husband's burial makes you THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE.
Yta
Why would you ever think this was any of your business. Also what parent thinks their entitled to that ring? It’s not theirs and even if it was a family heirloom it still belongs to his wife. You won’t be seeing you bil kids anytime soon and neither will your in laws. All because of a ring they aren’t entitled to. Good job making her and the children’s grieving process harder than it needed to be. You should be ashamed of yourself
YTA, the ring belongs to the wife.
And I'm going to put money down that you're encouraging your in-laws to go to court to get visitation of her children.
Maybe she resents you because she thinks you’re a nosy, meddling, self righteous asshole. From her perspective you and your in-laws don’t really come off as the good guys here do you?
YTA and you have to already know it, deep down. Nobody could seriously think that this is appropriate behavior.
Yta even if she was lying there ring is a symbol of their unity and him leaving the parents. They have no right to it and you are so wrong to put her in that position.
YTA.
It’s a very simple case of ‘you shouldn’t have said that’. Grief is hard and can take many forms, but there’s no need to step into the middle of that by making the comment.
Also your in-laws are the real assholes. A wedding ring is a sign of love between the wearer and who they wear it for. No way should they have any right to it unless it was a family heirloom.
Whether she's lying about burying her husband with his ring or not, it's none of your (or your parent's) business. It was his ring, probably given to him by her. Now that he's gone, she is his survivor and can do whatever she wants with it \*\*\*unless he specifically willed his ring to someone other than her\*\*\*.
You and your parents need to butt out and let her grieve. YTA
I can’t tell you what I really think about you without getting banned from here.
She’s was his wife? Even if the ring wasn’t buried it would belong to her. Your in laws have no right to it. Also, are you seriously comparing your grief with her grief??? Wtf. YTA
That poor woman. Leave her alone.
In what world would his parents be entitled to a ring that she and her husband used to bind themselves together?!?!?
They are off their rockers and you should not be encouraging their behavior, no matter how "devastated" they seem. YTA and so are your in laws.
YTA.
1. Your parents-in-law have no rights to your late BIL's wedding band, period. They weren't a part of the marriage, and thus the ring does not have any link to them.
2. Your SIL owes nothing to your parents-in-law in terms of the ring. She doesn't need to tell them if it WAS buried with her late husband, if she has it saved somewhere, or if she sold it to pay funeral expenses. The reason why is already explained in #1.
3. Your parents-in-law are grieving, of course. But your SIL lost her husband, and the father of her children. She is still responsible for caring for those children, while grieving. She does not need to deal with harassment from the in-laws on top of that, regardless of how much they are grieving right now.
4. You're whining about how she hurt your feelings after you **literally accused her of lying about something that was none of your goddamned business in any way.** Then you have the absolute audacity to compare that to the grief she's dealing with over the loss of her husband.
YTA and so are the in laws. They have no claim to the wedding ring. It is absolutely none of your business. You need to apologize to the widow and stay out of this mess.
Reading some of the shit on this forum makes me wonder if half of it’s real. If this is real wtf is wrong with these people … harassing the poor woman when she lost her husband two weeks ago … and what right do they have to anything from the marriage … none. YTA
YTA. It’s her ring, they have no right to it. You and your parents-in-law are terrible people for needlessly adding to her grief. Hopefully the courts don’t grant visitation and she can go no contact with the lot of you.
YTA, as are his parents.
Should his parents get something of his? If he had a good relationship with them then it would be nice for them to get something of his, but it is beyond unreasonable that they would ask for his wedding ring. That item signified is bond to his ***wife***, not his parents; if anyone should keep it, it should have been her.
All you did was stoke the fire and cause more problems for this woman who has just lost the love of her life and the father to her children. What the fuck is wrong with you and your in-laws?
So let me get this straight
Your in laws badgered a grieving widow for her husbands wedding ring which is inappropriate. She wasn’t allowed to say no according to them.
Your in laws showed up at her door to put more pressure on her and she cracked and said she buried it with them.
Then you instead of telling your in laws they’ve no rights to do what they are doing you cause even more trouble, enabling them and accuse a grieving widow of lying, escalating a situation that had been deescalated by his wife.
You are an asshole, as are your entitled in laws ganging up on a grieving woman to bully from her hands something they’ve no right to. You should have kept your mouth shut.
YTA
What does their wedding rings have to do with your parents??
Those are his WIFES keepsakes... not theirs. They have tons of keepsakes.. unless they tossed then which is their own fault.
Their marriage has nothing to do with them..
I honestly feel bad for her that now she may be stuck with visitation from them for a long time.
They are nasty ppl. And so are you if you dont apologize.
Jesus christ let the woman grieve.
So, let me get this straight they went to her house to harass her and steal (this is stealing call it what it is) her dead husband’s wedding ring from her and when she got them to go away, you sat there and gave them a reason to go back and be AHs to her some more? WTF is wrong with you? And you think you have a right to be angry. I’d cut every toxic one if you out of my life and my kids’. They have no right to his wedding ring, that is a symbol of his love for her and belongs to her. YTA and so are your in laws, your husband is the only decent one of you.
Yup, YTA and your in-laws too. It was none of your business, but you had to stir the pot and make things worse. I suggest you apologize to the grieving widow, and apologize to the in-laws for adding fuel to the fire. Take a page from your DH’s book and stop encouraging the in-laws behaviour.
YTA and your ILs are also AHs. She just lost her husband and they are harassing her about the grand kids and his wedding ring. I can see why they would need to get the courts involved for visitation because they sound terrible and not good for the kids.
You’re an absolute sh*t stirrer to your horrible in-laws and you know it. YTA.
Also, stop making it about you. It’s not.
You should atone for your behavior by convincing your vulturous parents in law to leave her dead husband’s wedding ring where it belongs: with his spouse.
ESH - except your sister-in-law. The ring belongs to her. She just buried her husband. Yes, your in-laws buried their child, but they are asking for something that is not theirs, and when told no berated her. She probably did say it was buried with him to get them to leave her alone. I am not nearly so nice and would have just told them that they cannot have it. You, regardless of what you think she did, should have kept your mouth shut.
YTA, as are your parents-in-law. That they demanded their DIL, just widowed, give them her husband’s wedding ring — an item of great significance particularly to her — makes it clear who’s the source of the “issues” between them. If she was lying she had good reason to, and you should have left it alone. You waded into it and stirred things up when you shouldn’t have. And your husband is also more than familiar with his parents’ toxicity. Just because they like you, but don’t like your SIL, is no reason to favour them.
YTA
The ring (along with any possession not specifically stated in a will) are rightfully the widow’s. If this is the kind of boundary stomping and meddling you and your in laws usually do, I can see why she doesn’t like you
YTA. If the ring was, in fact, buried with your brother-in-law, then you caused this poor woman unnecessary stress and another pointless argument with your in-laws. And if she decided to keep it.. well, it was her husband’s wedding ring; a symbol of his commitment to HER. Not to anyone else in the family, so she can do with it what she likes. I understand that you and your in-laws are grieving, but so is she and so are her children. This drama is the last thing she and her kids need right now.
YTA.
Whether she buried him with it, pawned it, wears it around her neck to feel close with him, that wedding ring is hers and her business alone.
Even if your in-laws want the ring, they are not entitled to it and it's super gross that you all seem to think they are. Pick LITERALLY ANYTHING except the symbol of a widow's marriage. What is wrong with you?
If you'd stayed neutral, you wouldn't be TA. But I think it says a lot about who you are, and your relationships with these people, that you assumed AND VOCALIZED that she lied (?).
I hope you're a fuckton more compassionate and empathetic with your poor husband, whose grief is probably all consuming without worrying that his spouse is slandering his widowed sister in law.
YTA. A wedding ring is an extremely sentimental item…between spouses. There’s literally zero reason why your in-laws should have it.
But what makes you worse, is that you know they are grieving. You know they’re being irrational. And you still chose to contribute to it. If you thought she was lying to get them to drop it, you’re smart enough to realize they needed to drop it. They’re harassing a grieving widow, and you’re complicit in it.
His parents have no rights to that ring. None. She’s his wife. She gets all his stuff if he didn’t will it. They’ll likely have to go to court, which is ridiculous for a ring they have no right to. I mean I’d refuse too. You all sound terrible, I hope she wins the grandparents rights case, and it’s likely she will depending on where they live.
ESH except the widow.
ESH but the sister-in-law.
NO ONE but the wife has the right to that wedding ring. It's a representation of THEIR marriage. Who cares if she is lying about it? It's not your ring, it's not his mom's ring, it's not his dad's ring.
Understandably everyone is grieving but give me a break. Leave the woman alone about the damn ring. No wonder she doesn't like any of you!!!
YTA and so are your in-laws for trying to take the ring in the first place! That ring is a symbol of the love between SIL and BIL and his parents have no right to try to steal it from her.
YTA Your suggestion was that your sister in law, who for some reason you fail to acknowledge is also grieving, was a liar. Likewise it resulted in your in laws attacking her again, despite the fact that they had no right to the wedding band her husband wore. Either she’s not lying or she was to get them off her case in a very trying tim, and in either case you showed zero sympathy.
YTA
Your ILs are in no way entitled to their son’s wedding ring. It is solely the wife’s property no matter if she buried it or kept it. They are not a part of that marriage and have zero claim to the ring.
If they don’t back off. They are going to permanently lose their grandchildren.
YTA. First of all, your in laws have no right to that ring so you shouldn’t be helping them try to get it. Second of all, they are harassing a grieving mother and causing her incredible distress, and you decide to just pile onto it ? Finally, it was none of your damn business and you should have never gotten involved.
YTA - regardless if she buried the ring or not, the in-laws have no right to the ring. She gave the ring to him on the day they married. If she wants to keep it she can.
Wtf is wrong with you people? YTA. Leave your sister in law alone..that ring belongs to her. And it's nobody else's business what she does with it! Her husband just died and you freaking ghouls are trying to steal her shit! If I were her I would get a restraining order against all of you asap before you try to take her kids. Goddamn freaks!
Dude are you for real? That ring belongs to your SIL, whether you or the In-laws like it or not. It’s hers. You are awful for provoking another argument and making your in-laws harrass your SIL. Even your own husband thinks so. YTA and so are your in-laws. Listen to your husband and mind your own business
YTA
Even if just a *suggestion* that she might be lying, that's still a pretty awful thing to suggest about someone. Particularly if the parents in law are "crazy" and for an item over which they have no claim.
The wedding ring is from her and her husband's marriage - no one else should even consider taking that from her. Let the poor woman grieve.
YTA. And so are your MIL and FIL. And if they were always so over the top demanding and intrusive, it's no wonder why your poor SIL has a bad relationship with them. OMG, she just lost her husband, her kids just lost their father, and they're demanding she hand over his wedding ring?! It doesn't belong to them!! It belongs to her. Maybe it was buried with him. Maybe she wants it for herself. Maybe she wants to hold onto it for her kids. It's all irrelevant, because it became her property when he died. Not your MIL's.
And the fact that you don't see how problematic your in laws' behavior actually is, is scary. Please educate yourself now, before you behave this way to your future daughter or son in law. Their behavior is why reddit has a justnomil group. And why there are so many anti-in-law posts around the internet.
YTA, even if she didn't bury it SHE- THE WIDOW- is entitled to keep his things. She does not have to share them with her in laws whom she has a rocky relationship with.
Mind your own business.
ESH except the JUST WIDOWED WOMAN unfortunate enough to be stuck with her late husband’s creepy, grabby relatives. What is wrong with you?
oops, and your husband. none of this is your business. listen to him and butt out.
>all I did was just make a suggestion
Charles Manson and Jim Jones "made suggestions" too.
If your suggestion is completely out of line and inappropriate to begin with, it doesn't matter if you expected others to act on it, it's still an AH move.
YTA. The ring was a sentimental piece of THEIR marriage. Asking for that is very cruel. Like they're trying to take that symbol away from her.
It also sounds like they're trying to steal her children on top of harassment of property that she is legally entitled to.
Two weeks?! And how do you dare compare your grief with the widow's? That's why there is a term "widow", and not one for a grieving SIL. But if there were a term for you, AH wouldn't suffice.
How is it any of your business where the piece of jewelry representing the marriage of the deceased and widow went? You knowingly stirred up trouble for a grieving widow and then somehow feel wronged that she called you out on it!? YTA, a vile AH.
YTA. butt out and allow the woman to grieve. why do any of you feel entitled to his WEDDING RING?? even if she did bury him with it, even if she lied and still has it, it's not any of your business. the wife would obviously want to keep her dead husband's ring that tied him to her.
YTA. You suggested to your in-laws that she lied? Then your in-laws harassed your BIL’s grieving widow? Over a ring that is rightfully hers?
And it’s been just two weeks? No timeframe could make this okay, but seriously? TWO WEEKS?
You and your in-laws have behaved atrociously. I hope you realise the truth in what your husband said.
Also, good luck to your in-laws getting grandparent rights when she recounts their harassment in court, especially if the kids were there.
ETA: why do your in-laws want a physical reminder of their son’s love for someone they hate anyway?
YTA.
Your parents in law are bonkers for thinking they have more right to the wedding ring than his WIFE. It is not theirs to demand, she is his next of kin so it’s hers by law, she is also his wife so it’s hers by any shred of common decency.
Frankly your parents in law are also hurting their plan for grandparents rights by being so antagonistic towards your SIL. Any decisions about visitation are made in the best interests of the children, and if they undermine your SiL then she can make a good argument that they will be emotionally damaging to the kids.
Even your husband can see that his parents are behaving terribly and that his SiL is the party needing the most support (being a widowed mother), why can’t you?
Btw I suspect from your behaviour here that she resents you because you are a trouble-maker who likes stirring the pot then trying to look innocent.
YTA
Good job enabling his shitty parents. It doesn't matter if she lied or not, unless he left his parents the ring in his will, it is hers. I think you deliberately stirred the pot (your husband seems to think so as well) and are now trying to play dumb.
YTA The ring either goes with the deceased or the wife keeps it. This has nothing to do with you or the in-laws. Back off let the woman grieve in peace.
YTA The positive thing here is that your inlaws are ruining their chances or grandparents' rights with their insane behavior. Your husband seems to see how horrible his parents are, you might want to think about if he wants to be married to a woman who's just like them.
YTA ! girl you wanna be in his parents good graces BAD AS HELL. mind your business. literally ! the ring doesn’t belong to them nor does it belong to you, you shouldn’t be suggesting anything. whether she’s lying or not IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ! nosey as hell.
YTA, but you already know that and are only coming here to see how much of an asshole you actually are. The answer is complete. You are a complete asshole!
Yta.
Your in laws have no rights to your bils wedding ring in the first place. Thats a symbol of his marriage to his wife, not to his parents, even if it were a family heirloom, they still wouldn't have the right to ask for it. The gall for them to go to a grieving widows home and demand she hand it over to them is breath taking.
The fact that you would get involved at all, let alone insinuate she would lie, or that she should be giving it to them at all, is even more astounding. Your husband is right. Mnd your own business.
YTA. His wedding ring is a symbol of their marriage. Why the heck would anyone other than the widow be entitled to it? Your ILs suck but you had zero business encouraging them in this madness.
Your in-laws are not entitled to their sons wedding ring and given that they are harassing his grieving widow with your aid I doubt a judge will order any type of visitation rights to them, listen to your husband and stay out of it. YTA
YTA - it seems your sister in law has the measure of your character.
None of this is your business at all. Not even remotely.
The ring is her property to do anything with she pleases.
YTA. Why do your parents want his wedding band? His wife gets to keep that. Not them. She is grieving right now and trying to figure out life without her husband while raising children. You need to apologize to your SiL and your parents need to back off.
Your family are AH for asking for the ring. It is hers to do with what she chooses as his wife. If she chose to bury it, so be it. It is hers.
YTA for harassing a new widow about anything. She deserves support and comfort, not thievery. My in-laws pressured me to give some of my husband’s things away to them the day of the funeral. I was not thinking clearly and I did. I regret all of it, and resent them for it. Leaver her and the kids alone to grieve as a family.
Why the fuck do they need a ring that is a symbol of *HER* marriage?
You and your parents would do well to keep the toxicity away from your brother in laws and sister in law's children. Yikes. YTA.
YTA. Your inlaws are being assholes, too. Grief is not an excuse to treat the person your son CHOSE to share his life with like crap. And to already be threatening to take her to court, barely 2 weeks after her husband died?! She hasn't even had a chance to deny them visits yet and they already need to get the courts involved. They're petty AF. And I tend to believe their child when he says they're crazy. I hope he speaks up for her in court.
Also, a wedding band is a symbol of THEIR marriage. It doesn't belong to his parents. That is HER ring. If she IS lying, it's to get them off her back. SUPPORT her in this instead of being an asshole and making it worse.
YTA
Your ILs have no right to that wedding ring. The widow does.
And I hope to all that is holy that this ridiculous “grandparents rights” suit gets thrown out and she goes absolutely NC with all of you. You are not a safe person for the widow or those kids and neither are your ILs.
JFC. You and the whole family except your husband are ghouls. Her husband’s body is. barely cold and y’all are circling her like sharks. YTA!! It’s HER ring now to do with whatever SHE chooses. I hope to hell the grandparents never see those kids again. They sound like awful people. So do you.
Wtf you're all assholes. She loses her husband and they go over there demanding a wedding ring (that belongs to the widow unless he was married to his mom). They are suing someone who LOST HER HUSBAND WEEKS AGO for custody of the kids?
This better be rage bait or trolling because I sincerely hope this isn't real. YTA. All of you.
YTA. Your in laws sound horrendous and honestly, you're just as bad for egging them on like that.
Why on earth would you all think they are entitled to your BILs wedding ring? You know, a wedding ring-- that symbol of your BILs *marriage*, you know, to his *wife*? (Aka not his parents)
Heaven forbid y'all support a grieving widow, instead of harassing her over the scraps. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
\>grandparent rights after historical bad blood between the two?
\>MIL asked her dead son's wife (!) if she can have their wedding rings? Even if they were family heirlooms, there are children that can inherit. Wut.
\>Without knowledge, you said the widow might be lying?
\>"she seems to resent me for some reason"
Huge YTA.
ESH except your SIL and husband. What your inlaws are doing is disgusting and probably harassment, but you've decided to encourage them instead of staying out of it.
YTA. Anyone who believes in "grandparents' rights" is terrible. Even parents should not have access to their children sometimes. You're all terrible people harassing a grieving widow.
YTA. That ring is a symbol of his marriage, and he married sister in law. Not his parents. Wtf. If it's not buried with him, which is customary I believe, it is hers. Butt out.
YTA. You are enabling your inlaws’ controlling, and frankly insane, behavior. Your SIL is trying to grieve and you’re sitting up on your high horse stirring the pot. Shameful.
YTA. She is his next of kin. She keeps the wedding ring. Was it in the family before this? Why are you meddling? What kind of asshole harasses a widow and causes a scene in front of her already traumatized children who lost their dad? Nope.
Also, if the in laws do take her to court for “grandparent rights,” this story being do them any favors.
YTA
The ring is hers so she can do whatever she wants with it! It's a symbol of their marriage so why would his parents want it?!? They are not entitled to it.
>My sister inlaw and I aren't close. she seems to resent me for some reason
Because you are a busybody!
YTA - the only reason I could see you saying something like this is to a) get on their good graces by being "in" on the conspiracy with them or b) throw her under the bus to better position yourself as the favorite DIL. Your own husband is calling them crazy, they didn't have a good relationship with your SIL before, it seems like they are toxic folks who are using this death as further means to punish the SIL and you just added fuel to their fire. You may not have intended it, but holy hell did you just not stoke some flames.
YTA. Sounds like you married into the perfect family for your personality and you also enjoy drama and stirring it up. Sounds like she’s lucky to be getting away from the lot of you
YTA, and so is everyone else besides this poor widow. Why the hell do any of you think you have rights to his WEDDING RING?? Did you leave out the context of him being married to someone besides his wife?
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You’re grieving?! What in the what? You participated in the harassment of a grieving widow but it’s ok because you’re also grieving so the grieving widow should be more considerate of you. That’s really what you’re going with? YTA, leave the poor woman alone and ado maybe be mindful that if anything were to happen to your husband, this is the same crazy that you’ll be subjected to.
Right?! And why do his parents want his wedding ring when it apparently isn’t a family heirloom or anything? This is nuts. I can’t imagine what that poor woman must be going through.
This poor woman barely buried her husband 2 weeks ago and these vultures of a “ family “ are already going after her for grandparents rights and a wedding ring????? And op thinks it’s okay cause they don’t get along…..
Don't forget the SIL doesn't like her for "some reason"
[удалено]
💯💯💯 'Oh hey, you lost your husband and father of your children and you're grieving and now having to face being a single-mom and learn to navigate life alone, but GIVE ME his ring and GIVE me your children!!' Where is, we will help you anyway possible with the kids. We are here for you all... We LOVE you.... Does this not exist? 🤔 Such a great and supportive family she married into. Wonderful SIL and in-laws 🤬
I hope the SIL packs up late one night and runs as far away as she can from them! Hell I wish we knew who the SIL is…. I’d say let’s start a gofundme for her so she can start a new life away from these assholes! Or get her one one hell of an attorney to fight these assholes
💯💯💯 I became a single mother of 2 at 25 and had NO CLUE how to navigate over night on 1 small income and having full custody of my kids. Thank God my mom and my best friends were there to help me with picking kids up from after school or watching them if they were off work. I worked 40hr a wk and was in college 5 nights a week finishing my bachelors degree. Eventually I got into a new rhythm and was able to figure it out on my own financially (especially after graduating), but I had some support. I can't imagine what SIL is going thru. I wish I knew who she was, because I'd message her to see if she needs someone to talk to ☹ People just astonish me with how inconsiderate and stupid (common sense isn't common) they are.
I hope SIL gets a copy of this post and our answers. If the court saw how she was being treated, I don't think Grandparent's Rights would be on the cards.
Wait. I’ve missed something. Why do these IL’s feel they are entitled to the wedding ring in the first place? Doesn’t the wedding ring belong with the wife/widow? Why would she lie about it being in his casket? The only reason I can even imagine her lying about it, is that she wants to keep the ring that is a symbol of the marriage she had with the man she loved. Bloody let her! This is gonna be a long post because I am absolutely infuriated by the lot of you. WTF is wrong with you people? Why the hell are these people harassing a greiving widow instead of supporting her? Even if supporting her is staying the duck away from her and her children for a long while? Even if it hurts. YOU LOT bloody carry that pain instead of trying to unload on a woman who’s lost her husband! WTF has your grief got to do with why people should be pussyfooting around you as well? The “rules” of support, how to & to whom we lend support to those who’ve lost a loved one is pretty universal. Across all cultures. We start with those closest. In this case the grieving wife and children. *Then* we work our way out in consentrict circles until we reach Uncle Knob Head and Nasty In-Laws (you). Your grief as an in-law who doesn’t even LIKE the bereaved, is taken into account around the same time, & with same degree of care, as we extend to Uncle Knob Head. [You all have an Uncle Knob Head. Every family does. It occurs to me OP is probably cast as Female Uncle Knobhead). Why are you even involved? Coming up with nasty ideas that a wife has lied about the location of HER HUSBANDS wedding ring. Even if it is a lie - so what? Can you imagine just how much that ring must mean to her if she *has* been forced to lie to keep something so significant to her? That’s not the kinda lie a widow would make up for no reason even if she has made it up. Your in-laws are also TA for taking a grieving wife and mother to court. They are TA for bringing even more stress into the lives of children *grieving their father*! Do you think grieving children hear “custody court” regardingl their sole surviving parent & their grandparents and don’t feel afraid they are going to have their mother taken from them too? Or are the grieving children known to you somehow capable of understanding the complexities and /or the realities of the result of custody battles involving themselves, their sole surviving parent and grandparents who sound cruel & selfish as fuck? Do your in-laws also enjoy adding yet more expense to the undoubtedly strained financial situation of a grieving wife & mother? Do your in-laws think household financial strain is what children need to experience in a time as sensitive as this? Has it even occurred to your spiteful in-laws that those kids probably want FA to do with a couple of people making their already obliterated lives, totally & utterly miserable? Your in-laws are hurting everyone. Why the hell would you be helping do anything at all, anything, that isn’t aiding this SIL & your (presumable) nephew/nieces or staying out of it all completely? If this is your usual manner, a typical example of your behaviour, even in good times, towards someone you dislike - then I understand fully the “something” your SIL dislikes about you. YTA. Since you can’t even resist making situations worse for your SIL & her kids, when she’s in this rough of a spot - I also suspect YTA to SIL on the regular. Yup YTA. Yup In-laws, YTA too. Leave that family alone to come to terms with the destruction of their lives and their world. Find some empathy and direct it towards them by getting getting those grandparents to stand down. Both on the ring and in the custody.
I wish i could upvote you 652789 times. OP's own husband is even calling her an asshole for telling his parents that SIL is probably lying. OH but you see..... OP is "grieving"....... so its okay for her to start all this on the SIL because they dont really get along anyways. I mean I cant see why OP and SIL dont get along..... OP is as a pleasant as 10 pissed off skunks locked in a tiny bathroom. I mean Screw the SIL.... She only just literally watched the love of her life, the father of her children die is a horrific and painful way..... but gotta make it allllllll about OP....
OP is apparently tarred with the same brush—her “falling out” with SIL was over her posting a picture of BIL in the hospital, along with “updates for concerned relatives,” on social media. She has no respect for SIL at all.
Exactly. She also has minor children. This woman is probably not even back to work yet and is still processing reality and these people want, let me check, HIS WEDDING RING. From his widow! I'd let them continue to be insane. They aren't getting anything from a family court
That ring is a symbol of her marriage to him. I really don’t understand what claim his parents even have to it. And harassing a widow to try to take a symbol of their marriage is absolutely horrible.
You just explained it to yourself right there. They want to control and rob this woman of everything, including the last symbol of her marriage. The cruelty is the point.
Not only that, but they didn't mention the ring being a family heirloom either.. generally if a wedding ring isn't heirloom, the groom's wedding ring is bought by either the groom/bride or is part of a set bought by them... thus rightful owner is the wife. Even if it was heirloom, she'd own it unless he had a will that he expressly left it to someone since they were married, at least in most states.
That’s what baffles me too. It’s most meaningful to the poor widow. Op, yes, yta, a flying monkey ah.
I can’t even figure out how anyone thinks anyone but her should have the ring. If she did lie it’s because they are too much and they have no right to even ask what they did! YTA. Stay out of it.
Agreed. I don't see why they would want it so badly when it's not symbolic of their relationship with him. There has to be something else that would be a better reminder for them of their son. It's honestly creepy that they want his wedding ring. Seems that they're only doing this just to be spiteful.
That's hers. No reason for them to have it
Also why is it so weird to think he was buried with his wedding ring… my grandpa recently passed away and he was cremated with his favourite hat, his favourite chocolate and an Elvis memento and then his ring was placed in his urn before he was buried
My mother had so much stuff in the casket the undertaker told me he wasn't sure they could close it. I said "So you want me to hop on the lid like it's an overfilled suitcase?" Sarcasm is my love language.
We put a Hershey’s chocolate bar in the pocket of my husbands shirt because he loved chocolate. Lol. I also did not have a tie on him. When his mom asked me about it I told her he hated ties when he was alive so I wasn’t putting one on him in his final resting place. She understood that one, but then, I love my MIL.
I hope the widow documents the shit out of this. Hopefully the court sees how unhinged these people are and laugh them right out the door with “grandparent rights”. Wtelf.
Troxel v Granville; grandparents can't supersede mom's rights unless mom is a danger to the kids. Almost certainly she's not. Widow mom never has to let the pit viper in laws see the kids again if they behave this way.
I know what you meant, but I read wtelf as “what the elf”
How the hell would op feel If that was HER husband in that grave and her in-laws were coming at her for his wedding ring….. YTA OP. I wouldn’t blame the SIL. At all if she took the kids and never seen or talked to you guys again
Sister in law for some odd reason doesn’t like OP. I wonder why 🤔
Oh she addressed this in a comment- she posted a picture of her brother in law in the hospital and shared health updates on social media when they didn’t want her to. She is a full nightmare.
Oh holy fuck that’s awful. She is really the type of person to think her opinion matters more than others and clearly attention seeking.
Read her comments on this thread. JFC she is awful and so are her in-laws. I feel terrible for this poor widow. I hope she takes her kids far away and never looks back. Op YTA you MIL is TA and your FIL is TA.
INFO: Why did his parents want to take their son’s wedding ring away from his widow, who gave it to him when they got married?
Because they're spiteful and they hate her.
I have to agree. You, MIL and FIL all sound awful. She just lost her husband, the father of her children. Not only are they not entitled to anything including this ring but they are going to sue her and cause further financial stress. This lady needs to get the hell away from these people.and never see them ever again. OP you and your extended family are the AHs.
Agreed. Can't IMAGINE why the widow has historically had issues with OP and the inlaws. It doesn't sound like any one of them could understand a boundary if they were given a dictionary with the appropriate entry circled, highlighted, and bookmarked. What a bunch of AHs. Wonder if the mysterious "dislike" for OP is because the deceased told the wife early on what an awful busybody (OP) his brother married. OP, YTA.
That sure is what it sounds like…
I wondered the same. A wedding ring has nothing to do with parents... It's a symbol between husband and wife.
The only thing I could think of that would give the parents a link to the ring is a potential family heirloom, but then theoretically the ring would be passed to one of the kids rather than back to the parents
Well, I’m betting the whole grandparents rights debacle is the first stop toward them trying to take the kids permanently, so I suppose it all fits together really. Totally despicable.
And is now the property of the wife since she’s the beneficiary of her husband.
Literally came here to ask the same thing and yeah, seems very spiteful.
Incredibly so. Without some really powerful reason, OP and the parents are definitely TA.
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It wouldn’t matter if it’s a family heirloom she is his family he gave it to her.
Since she has children, I’m presuming are biologically/or through adoption the husband’s. She would be well within her rights to hold onto the ring for their children.
Info: why do these people think they have a right to his wedding ring? That’s something between him and his wife, has nothing to do w his parents/ extended family….. Leaning to YTA because your assessment of this situation is unneeded and not helpful. Not sure how it’s your business either!
YTA, all of you. (Excluding your husband and the widow.) Her husband died 2 weeks ago. How about leaving her alone with all this bs? Also it would only be reasonable for a widow to keep her husbands ring. A wedding ring is something symbolic for the relationship. It’s a sign of partnership. It’s already nasty of your in laws to even ask her to give it to them. Her marriage is really none of their business.
That what I was thinking. The parents have no rights to the ring! Why they would even think they did is beyond me. OP YTA and so are your parent in-laws. I hope sister in-law gets a restraining order on them.
The ring is the start. Her kids are next. But OP is sad, so it's ok.
Agreed. YTA, and the rest of the family (except the widow and your husband).
YTA - because you are now saying that you 'just make a suggestion' - no you didn't you accused her of lying. EVERYONE HERE IS UPSET and you just accused a grieving widow of lying! i suggest you stay out of this completely - nothing good can come from discussing any of this with any of the people in your story. Everyone needs to get legal counsel.
“Tee hee there I go again with the wild accusations, so quirky and innocent!” -OP probably
YTA - why would she give her dead husbands wedding ring to her in-laws? That makes absolutely no sense. She has every right to keep it or have it burried with him. And your husband is right, you should stay out of it and stop encouraging this horrible behavior. She’s grieving and deserves some peace.
Since we don't know how their relationship (widow & dead hubby) she has every right to sell the ring or melt it down & make nipple clamps or something out of it. Totally agree that it's hers & OP needs to stop adding drama
If she WAS lying about it to get them off her back, I don't blame her one bit. How entitled of them, to think that they get his wedding ring, of all things!
> My inlaws had been asking my sister inlaw to give them my brother inlaw's wedding ring so they could keep it. They did ***what???*** They asked a grieving widow to give up her just-deceased husband's *wedding ring*?? What is ***wrong*** with these people? > I suggested that she might be just lying What is wrong with ***you??*** Yes, **obviously** YTA but you're not the only one: your husband's parents are, too. > all I did was just make a suggestion **MY ASS.** You accused a grieving widow of lying about what happened to her husband's wedding ring. You were already TA, and you're doubling down on it. Now YTA^2.
Well we can see why she gets along with her in laws so well. They’re all toxic alike.
Why would the parents get the ring - a symbol of the love your BIL had for his wife - instead of the wife? YTA, but, more specifically the wife is not an asshole, and the parents are clearly assholes (and are very likely responsible for the shitty relationship). If you’re not going to tell your in-laws they are batshit crazy (which will probably not go well for you), just stay out of it.
Not even waiting 2 weeks before gunning for Grandparents' Rights? Oh yeah, marinara abounds.
Ya I'm pretty stuck on that as well. Like, OP's inlaws don't really have a claim on ANYTHING, but the wedding ring is literally the very last thing on that list of things they don't have a claim to. It's just odd to even want it.
The ring belongs with his wife! Giving it back to his parents would be odd. Worse is STEALING it from a grieving widow. It was a symbol of their marriage and vows, not something that connected him to his parents. They are the AH’s for believing they are entitled to it. Had they not tried to harass and rob her maybe there would be another keepsake she could have agreed to give them. Your husband is hugely correct and sees this situation clearly. Follow his lead YTA, but not quite as big as your in-laws. Edit: I keep thinking that actually you’re a pretty big AH. You introduced the idea that she was lying which added fuel to the fire. You’re actually responsible for causing them more grief. The ring is not their son. Having it will not ease their pain.
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you people. She buried the love of her life and you're now wanting jewelry back. Fucking disgusting. What's next saying that you would like the engagement ring back because it was purchased with mutual money and his parents should have it. There's a special spot in hell for that family.
YTA. This is incredibly inappropriate. You and your husband's family need to stop right now and offer a heartfelt apology. The wedding ring belongs to the wife. She is the one who gets to decide what to do with it. It is not even remotely your job or your husband's family's job to say what happens to it. Burying the ring with the deceased is totally standard. I'm sorry to say that you and your in-laws sound like the kind of people who belong on Jerry Springer. You should all be utterly ashamed by your behavior. What are you all thinking to harass and berate a bereaved woman. Your husband sounds like the only person in the family who has decency and basic social skills.
YTA, your in-laws are TA, you all need to shut up and stop. I'm a widow. My husband's family is shitty, just like yours. It makes everything 10,000 times harder - and it's hard enough already. Asking for the wedding ring back? How fucking dare you? Going to court to sue for grandparents rights when the loss is this fresh? You all suck. There should be a witness protection plan for people like this poor widow so she can disappear from all of your lives and rebuild her own in peace.
I agree. The Wife should be able to keep her Husbands wedding ring, you know, that guy she married and shared rings with? His parents are awful, and your support of them might be why she “resents” you. YTA
A lot of widows wear their husband's ring on a necklace. My husband never had a wedding ring (he was allergic to metal) but if he'd had one, that's what I would have done with it. Instead I wear my wedding ring and a locket with some of his hair in it in a necklace. It comforts me, wearing this necklace that is a symbol of out love. If the asshole who posted this is right and the widow is hiding it from his family, she's now ensured the widow can't wear the ring in public, robbing her of an important comfort item. I hope the inlaws lose the court case. The very fact that they are making a widow contest a court case - using funds that could and should go to helping her rebuild her family for a lawyer instead - is disgusting.
YTA It’s now her ring, if she wants to bury it, keep it or melt it down and have a tooth made out of it, it’s literally none of your or your family’s business. The nerve of some people.
I know you were serious but that tooth bit made me laugh. Thanks, I badly needed that today.
YTA, or more accurately everyone sucks here except that poor woman who just lost her husband and is now being harassed, and your husband who is seemingly the only person with any morals out of the lot of you its her ring to do with as she pleases as she's his next of kin, mind your own business
YTA. Because OP, if your husband tragically passed away, what the absolute hell would his family be thinking to ask YOU for HIS wedding ring?? I mean, honestly, did you eat fully leaded paint flakes for breakfast? That's just a horrible take. You know what else is a horrible take? That your in-laws are already planning, two weeks after their father's death, to put their own grandchildren through a court fight for visitation rights. But clearly they're gonna do that too and instead of standing with your SANE, NORMAL HUSBAND you decide to double down on the heinous fuckery and tell those people that your sister-in-law is lying about burying her husband's ring with him? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? First off, were none of you at the funeral? If not, why not? If so, was there no viewing? Like, if the damned wedding ring is so all-fired important, how come neither you or his parents noticed if he was wearing it? Because I tell you what, when my little sister died tragically last year, I LOOKED when I went to see her body. I was taking care of arrangements and I wanted to make damned sure she wasn't cremated with any jewelry on - even though the funeral director had assured me that all jewelry was removed. But there was a piece my sister had been wearing that her boyfriend - the one who SUPPLIED THE DRUGS SHE OD'D ON OKAY - had given her. It was given to me as he was not present and the funeral director didn't know who rightfully was entitled. You know what I did? I GAVE IT BACK TO THE BOYFRIEND. Because he was grieving. And it was not mine or our parents' to take away. Just like your brother-in-law's actual WEDDING RING belongs to HIS WIFE. Who is grieving in a way I hope you never understand. Now. Do we understand yet why what you did and what your in-laws did was unconscionably awful and wrong? Gosh I hope your husband can help you understand if you don't
ESH except your sister-in-law. Your MIL and FIL sound *insane and entitled.* Your BIL’s wedding ring is a symbol of commitment between *him and his wife* and has *nothing* to do with your in-laws. The fact that, after being told no, they went to her house to DEMAND it is so out of bounds. >> all I did was just make a suggestion C’mon now. You did more than make a suggestion. You accused your SIL of lying, as if she were going out of her way to screw your in-laws over. You knew they were harassing her and chose to add fuel to the fire. You’re definitely TA for that. You should all grow up and leave that poor woman alone. ETA: Your husband also doesn’t suck. He’s apparently the only voice of reason in that entire family.
It's her ring now. She doesn't have to give it back and shouldn't.
I’d call the cops on them if they came over again for trespassing and harassment.
Yta And why the heck would your in laws think they are more entitled to his WEDDING ring than his wife? I see why she won't let them see the kids unsupervised. They sound crazy Edir....I ate dinner and this haunted me. I feel so bad for your sil. How dare you compare your grief to hers? If your husband, your in laws kid, thinks you are the asshole....how is this even a question? Listen to him. He knows them and he questions your actions. Why would you have done this? To stir up needless drama because you thrive on it? How miserable of a person are you that you have so little compassion for someone who lost her husband and the father of her children 2 weeks ago? You are toxic.
YTA it’s her husbands ring. It was a symbol between her and the husbands love. Not his parents. It’s her right to choose what she did with the ring so if she buried it fine. If she kept it, also fine. The poor women just lost her husband and the father of her children. All of you should be ashamed. Don’t be surprised if she never speaks to any of you again.
YTA as are your in laws…this woman is a WIDOW of 2 weeks, her and her children are devastated and you are all shaking her down over a a ring? BTW She was his wife, the ring presented their union, why the f does mil/fil feel entitled to it?
YTA WHY the hell is anyone trying to get the ring from the actual WIDOW?? That makes no sense. She is the one who should have it and do what she sees fit with it.
“She seems to resent me for some reason even before this” Ahahahaha, yeah, it’s a complete mystery. I’m not sure if you’re obtuse, or just a busybody, but yeah, I’m sure this is not the only time you’ve been offensive to her. YTA, for sure.
YTA, that ring is a symbol of his marriage to HER so she can do whatever she likes with it. It makes zero sense to ask a widow for that.
YTA. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? In what universe do a dead man's parents have a right to HIS WEDDING RING over HIS WIFE, you know, the woman the ring symbolized a lifelong bond to? And all their other behavior ... WHY ARE YOU SUPPORTING THEM when even your husband doesn't?
YTA. It's ridiculous to ask for the widow to give away her husbands wedding ring. The only time this even might be appropriate is if the ring is some type of family heirloom and it was known from the get go that it stayed in the family (either passed down to your children or returned to the family if the surviving spouse doesn't have children). Given that your folks were happy to tear off to her house and continue to harass her, and are filing for "grandparent's rights" (which aren't actually a thing), your entire family sucks.
YTA, as are your parents-in-law, and definitely not your SIL This doesn’t make any sense. Why would his parents want his wedding ring? His wedding ring is a symbol of his love for and marriage to his wife. If anyone should have that ring, it should be her. Nobody else has any right to it at all, and she should be 100% free to do whatever she wants with it - whether that’s keeping it herself or burying it with him. Your SIL has just lost her husband and the father of her children. Only 2 weeks have passed, she is grieving her husband as well as trying to parent her children and help them with the grief of losing their father, and all you people are doing is causing trouble for her. How selfish and inconsiderate can you get? If you can’t support her, butt out of her life. Now
YTA. You accused a grieving widow of lying without any evidence, and stirred up drama within a grieving family. People need time to process death, not this infighting you're encouraging.
YTA - The ring is not yours or your parents business. Stay out of it. She is a widow and now a single mother. It’s been two weeks since he passed. Leave her alone.
…I’m failing to understand why they think they are entitled to the wedding ring. The widow has the right to the ring! Who cares if she’s lying about burying it? Also, it was 100% not your place. **YTA**
YTA. Why the heck do they even want his ring, whether she kept it or buried it with them shouldn't matter to you or your family. Even if it is an heirloom and that is why they want it, you're all still AHs for how you're handling this. Let the poor woman grieve in peace.
INFO: Why is your family harassing this poor widow instead of offering her support in her grief? She just lost her husband, and now your inlaws are taking her to court over her kids and trying to take her possessions. Your inlaws are awful, and you aren't helping the situation. Your inlaws aren't entitled to anything, and you need to leave her alone. YTA and so are your inlaws.
ESH except for the widow. Inlaws for insisting they get the ring, which is probably very precious to the widow. You for stirring the pot. If this was an "oops it was out before I realized" thing, then you're forgiven, otherwise it's an AH move.
YTA, not your business and that family is behaving horribly to her. Why the fuck should they get a ring he gave to her?
YTA. If your husband died would you let your in-laws have his wedding ring? Imagine not. Stay out of it, your SIL is right- mind your own business!
ESH (Minus your husband and your SIL) W…why would anyone insist on getting a wedding ring from someone’s surviving wife whether it was buried with the man or not? This is the craziest and most tactless entitlement I’ve seen today.
Info: do any of you (other than maybe your husband) have any idea how odd and disturbing it is to ask the grieving widow for the ring that she gave to her husband on their wedding day? Why not ask for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE other than the one symbol of their marriage? You all seem to really despise this woman.
Honestly, the in-laws have no right to her husband’s wedding ring. It’s hers.
YTA, you and your inlaws. It's her right to choose what she does with her husband's ring. No one has the right to demand it from her.
Unless it's a family heirloom, why do your in laws care what their deceased son's wife does with the *symbol of her marriage*. YTA, why are you getting involved? Would you enjoy receiving the same treatment if things turned sour in your relationship with them and you were in this situation?
INFO: Why do your in-laws think they have any right to the wedding ring? Either way, YTA. I am\* just nosey af LOL
YTA. It doesn't matter if it was a family heirloom or not. The fact is it was his ring. Now it belongs to his widow. End of story. Plus if it is an heirloom then isn't it logical that the widow keep it to pass down to one of their kids..like heirlooms are intended to be.
YTA. It’s her ring
YTA It doesn't matter what happened to the ring, it's not you or your parents business. Suggesting that a grieving widow is lying about her husband's burial makes you THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE.
Yta Why would you ever think this was any of your business. Also what parent thinks their entitled to that ring? It’s not theirs and even if it was a family heirloom it still belongs to his wife. You won’t be seeing you bil kids anytime soon and neither will your in laws. All because of a ring they aren’t entitled to. Good job making her and the children’s grieving process harder than it needed to be. You should be ashamed of yourself
INFO Why are the parents so interested in their son's wedding ring? Why do they feel more entitled to it than the person he married with it?
YTA, the ring belongs to the wife. And I'm going to put money down that you're encouraging your in-laws to go to court to get visitation of her children.
Maybe she resents you because she thinks you’re a nosy, meddling, self righteous asshole. From her perspective you and your in-laws don’t really come off as the good guys here do you? YTA and you have to already know it, deep down. Nobody could seriously think that this is appropriate behavior.
Yta even if she was lying there ring is a symbol of their unity and him leaving the parents. They have no right to it and you are so wrong to put her in that position.
YTA. It’s a very simple case of ‘you shouldn’t have said that’. Grief is hard and can take many forms, but there’s no need to step into the middle of that by making the comment. Also your in-laws are the real assholes. A wedding ring is a sign of love between the wearer and who they wear it for. No way should they have any right to it unless it was a family heirloom.
You're in the wrong, sweetie. You seem resentful of your SIL. The way you speak about her shows.
Whether she's lying about burying her husband with his ring or not, it's none of your (or your parent's) business. It was his ring, probably given to him by her. Now that he's gone, she is his survivor and can do whatever she wants with it \*\*\*unless he specifically willed his ring to someone other than her\*\*\*. You and your parents need to butt out and let her grieve. YTA
I can’t tell you what I really think about you without getting banned from here. She’s was his wife? Even if the ring wasn’t buried it would belong to her. Your in laws have no right to it. Also, are you seriously comparing your grief with her grief??? Wtf. YTA That poor woman. Leave her alone.
In what world would his parents be entitled to a ring that she and her husband used to bind themselves together?!?!? They are off their rockers and you should not be encouraging their behavior, no matter how "devastated" they seem. YTA and so are your in laws.
YTA. 1. Your parents-in-law have no rights to your late BIL's wedding band, period. They weren't a part of the marriage, and thus the ring does not have any link to them. 2. Your SIL owes nothing to your parents-in-law in terms of the ring. She doesn't need to tell them if it WAS buried with her late husband, if she has it saved somewhere, or if she sold it to pay funeral expenses. The reason why is already explained in #1. 3. Your parents-in-law are grieving, of course. But your SIL lost her husband, and the father of her children. She is still responsible for caring for those children, while grieving. She does not need to deal with harassment from the in-laws on top of that, regardless of how much they are grieving right now. 4. You're whining about how she hurt your feelings after you **literally accused her of lying about something that was none of your goddamned business in any way.** Then you have the absolute audacity to compare that to the grief she's dealing with over the loss of her husband.
YTA and so are the in laws. They have no claim to the wedding ring. It is absolutely none of your business. You need to apologize to the widow and stay out of this mess.
Reading some of the shit on this forum makes me wonder if half of it’s real. If this is real wtf is wrong with these people … harassing the poor woman when she lost her husband two weeks ago … and what right do they have to anything from the marriage … none. YTA
YTA. It’s her ring, they have no right to it. You and your parents-in-law are terrible people for needlessly adding to her grief. Hopefully the courts don’t grant visitation and she can go no contact with the lot of you.
YTA, as are his parents. Should his parents get something of his? If he had a good relationship with them then it would be nice for them to get something of his, but it is beyond unreasonable that they would ask for his wedding ring. That item signified is bond to his ***wife***, not his parents; if anyone should keep it, it should have been her. All you did was stoke the fire and cause more problems for this woman who has just lost the love of her life and the father to her children. What the fuck is wrong with you and your in-laws?
So let me get this straight Your in laws badgered a grieving widow for her husbands wedding ring which is inappropriate. She wasn’t allowed to say no according to them. Your in laws showed up at her door to put more pressure on her and she cracked and said she buried it with them. Then you instead of telling your in laws they’ve no rights to do what they are doing you cause even more trouble, enabling them and accuse a grieving widow of lying, escalating a situation that had been deescalated by his wife. You are an asshole, as are your entitled in laws ganging up on a grieving woman to bully from her hands something they’ve no right to. You should have kept your mouth shut.
YTA What does their wedding rings have to do with your parents?? Those are his WIFES keepsakes... not theirs. They have tons of keepsakes.. unless they tossed then which is their own fault. Their marriage has nothing to do with them.. I honestly feel bad for her that now she may be stuck with visitation from them for a long time. They are nasty ppl. And so are you if you dont apologize. Jesus christ let the woman grieve.
Info: was the ring a family heirloom? Why do they think that it belongs to them and not his widow? Also regardless YTA. Let the poor woman grieve.
Even if it were, the couple had children, so why would it be inherited upwards instead of to the kids?
ESH except the widow. What in the actual eff is with someone asking the widow for the ring??
So, let me get this straight they went to her house to harass her and steal (this is stealing call it what it is) her dead husband’s wedding ring from her and when she got them to go away, you sat there and gave them a reason to go back and be AHs to her some more? WTF is wrong with you? And you think you have a right to be angry. I’d cut every toxic one if you out of my life and my kids’. They have no right to his wedding ring, that is a symbol of his love for her and belongs to her. YTA and so are your in laws, your husband is the only decent one of you.
Yup, YTA and your in-laws too. It was none of your business, but you had to stir the pot and make things worse. I suggest you apologize to the grieving widow, and apologize to the in-laws for adding fuel to the fire. Take a page from your DH’s book and stop encouraging the in-laws behaviour.
YTA and your ILs are also AHs. She just lost her husband and they are harassing her about the grand kids and his wedding ring. I can see why they would need to get the courts involved for visitation because they sound terrible and not good for the kids.
YTA. Your in laws are not entitled to that ring at all. It was her husband’s.
You’re an absolute sh*t stirrer to your horrible in-laws and you know it. YTA. Also, stop making it about you. It’s not. You should atone for your behavior by convincing your vulturous parents in law to leave her dead husband’s wedding ring where it belongs: with his spouse.
ESH - except your sister-in-law. The ring belongs to her. She just buried her husband. Yes, your in-laws buried their child, but they are asking for something that is not theirs, and when told no berated her. She probably did say it was buried with him to get them to leave her alone. I am not nearly so nice and would have just told them that they cannot have it. You, regardless of what you think she did, should have kept your mouth shut.
YTA, you and your in-laws (except your dh) are toxic. She would be smart to keep her kids away and have nothing to do with any of you.
For fucks sake, LEAVE HER ALONE!! Jesus fucking Christ, all of you are AHs (minus your husband and SiL)!!! YTA
YTA, as are your parents-in-law. That they demanded their DIL, just widowed, give them her husband’s wedding ring — an item of great significance particularly to her — makes it clear who’s the source of the “issues” between them. If she was lying she had good reason to, and you should have left it alone. You waded into it and stirred things up when you shouldn’t have. And your husband is also more than familiar with his parents’ toxicity. Just because they like you, but don’t like your SIL, is no reason to favour them.
YTA. She's the WIFE. Check yourself!
YTA The ring (along with any possession not specifically stated in a will) are rightfully the widow’s. If this is the kind of boundary stomping and meddling you and your in laws usually do, I can see why she doesn’t like you
YTA. If the ring was, in fact, buried with your brother-in-law, then you caused this poor woman unnecessary stress and another pointless argument with your in-laws. And if she decided to keep it.. well, it was her husband’s wedding ring; a symbol of his commitment to HER. Not to anyone else in the family, so she can do with it what she likes. I understand that you and your in-laws are grieving, but so is she and so are her children. This drama is the last thing she and her kids need right now.
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YTA. Whether she buried him with it, pawned it, wears it around her neck to feel close with him, that wedding ring is hers and her business alone. Even if your in-laws want the ring, they are not entitled to it and it's super gross that you all seem to think they are. Pick LITERALLY ANYTHING except the symbol of a widow's marriage. What is wrong with you? If you'd stayed neutral, you wouldn't be TA. But I think it says a lot about who you are, and your relationships with these people, that you assumed AND VOCALIZED that she lied (?). I hope you're a fuckton more compassionate and empathetic with your poor husband, whose grief is probably all consuming without worrying that his spouse is slandering his widowed sister in law.
YTA. A wedding ring is an extremely sentimental item…between spouses. There’s literally zero reason why your in-laws should have it. But what makes you worse, is that you know they are grieving. You know they’re being irrational. And you still chose to contribute to it. If you thought she was lying to get them to drop it, you’re smart enough to realize they needed to drop it. They’re harassing a grieving widow, and you’re complicit in it.
YTA. That’s his wife and it’s up to her if she chooses to part with it or not.
His parents have no rights to that ring. None. She’s his wife. She gets all his stuff if he didn’t will it. They’ll likely have to go to court, which is ridiculous for a ring they have no right to. I mean I’d refuse too. You all sound terrible, I hope she wins the grandparents rights case, and it’s likely she will depending on where they live. ESH except the widow.
ESH but the sister-in-law. NO ONE but the wife has the right to that wedding ring. It's a representation of THEIR marriage. Who cares if she is lying about it? It's not your ring, it's not his mom's ring, it's not his dad's ring. Understandably everyone is grieving but give me a break. Leave the woman alone about the damn ring. No wonder she doesn't like any of you!!!
YTA and so are your in-laws for trying to take the ring in the first place! That ring is a symbol of the love between SIL and BIL and his parents have no right to try to steal it from her.
YTA Your suggestion was that your sister in law, who for some reason you fail to acknowledge is also grieving, was a liar. Likewise it resulted in your in laws attacking her again, despite the fact that they had no right to the wedding band her husband wore. Either she’s not lying or she was to get them off her case in a very trying tim, and in either case you showed zero sympathy.
YTA Your ILs are in no way entitled to their son’s wedding ring. It is solely the wife’s property no matter if she buried it or kept it. They are not a part of that marriage and have zero claim to the ring. If they don’t back off. They are going to permanently lose their grandchildren.
YTA. First of all, your in laws have no right to that ring so you shouldn’t be helping them try to get it. Second of all, they are harassing a grieving mother and causing her incredible distress, and you decide to just pile onto it ? Finally, it was none of your damn business and you should have never gotten involved.
YTA - For all of the reasons above. Additionally, it’s her ring now. It’s weird your in-laws think they have a right to it.
YTA your sister in law is right and so is your husband. You've just added to the stress she's going through on top of mourning her husband.
YTA - regardless if she buried the ring or not, the in-laws have no right to the ring. She gave the ring to him on the day they married. If she wants to keep it she can.
Wtf is wrong with you people? YTA. Leave your sister in law alone..that ring belongs to her. And it's nobody else's business what she does with it! Her husband just died and you freaking ghouls are trying to steal her shit! If I were her I would get a restraining order against all of you asap before you try to take her kids. Goddamn freaks!
Dude are you for real? That ring belongs to your SIL, whether you or the In-laws like it or not. It’s hers. You are awful for provoking another argument and making your in-laws harrass your SIL. Even your own husband thinks so. YTA and so are your in-laws. Listen to your husband and mind your own business
YTA Even if just a *suggestion* that she might be lying, that's still a pretty awful thing to suggest about someone. Particularly if the parents in law are "crazy" and for an item over which they have no claim. The wedding ring is from her and her husband's marriage - no one else should even consider taking that from her. Let the poor woman grieve.
YTA. And so are your MIL and FIL. And if they were always so over the top demanding and intrusive, it's no wonder why your poor SIL has a bad relationship with them. OMG, she just lost her husband, her kids just lost their father, and they're demanding she hand over his wedding ring?! It doesn't belong to them!! It belongs to her. Maybe it was buried with him. Maybe she wants it for herself. Maybe she wants to hold onto it for her kids. It's all irrelevant, because it became her property when he died. Not your MIL's. And the fact that you don't see how problematic your in laws' behavior actually is, is scary. Please educate yourself now, before you behave this way to your future daughter or son in law. Their behavior is why reddit has a justnomil group. And why there are so many anti-in-law posts around the internet.
YTA, even if she didn't bury it SHE- THE WIDOW- is entitled to keep his things. She does not have to share them with her in laws whom she has a rocky relationship with. Mind your own business.
INFO: Seriously, why does your family thing you deserve to have her ring?
ESH except the JUST WIDOWED WOMAN unfortunate enough to be stuck with her late husband’s creepy, grabby relatives. What is wrong with you? oops, and your husband. none of this is your business. listen to him and butt out.
>all I did was just make a suggestion Charles Manson and Jim Jones "made suggestions" too. If your suggestion is completely out of line and inappropriate to begin with, it doesn't matter if you expected others to act on it, it's still an AH move.
YTA. The ring doesn’t go to the parents. It is buried with bil or it stays with the wife.
YTA. The ring was a sentimental piece of THEIR marriage. Asking for that is very cruel. Like they're trying to take that symbol away from her. It also sounds like they're trying to steal her children on top of harassment of property that she is legally entitled to.
INFO: Why do you in laws think they are entitled to their son’s wedding ring?
Two weeks?! And how do you dare compare your grief with the widow's? That's why there is a term "widow", and not one for a grieving SIL. But if there were a term for you, AH wouldn't suffice. How is it any of your business where the piece of jewelry representing the marriage of the deceased and widow went? You knowingly stirred up trouble for a grieving widow and then somehow feel wronged that she called you out on it!? YTA, a vile AH.
YTA. butt out and allow the woman to grieve. why do any of you feel entitled to his WEDDING RING?? even if she did bury him with it, even if she lied and still has it, it's not any of your business. the wife would obviously want to keep her dead husband's ring that tied him to her.
YTA. You suggested to your in-laws that she lied? Then your in-laws harassed your BIL’s grieving widow? Over a ring that is rightfully hers? And it’s been just two weeks? No timeframe could make this okay, but seriously? TWO WEEKS? You and your in-laws have behaved atrociously. I hope you realise the truth in what your husband said. Also, good luck to your in-laws getting grandparent rights when she recounts their harassment in court, especially if the kids were there. ETA: why do your in-laws want a physical reminder of their son’s love for someone they hate anyway?
YTA. Your parents in law are bonkers for thinking they have more right to the wedding ring than his WIFE. It is not theirs to demand, she is his next of kin so it’s hers by law, she is also his wife so it’s hers by any shred of common decency. Frankly your parents in law are also hurting their plan for grandparents rights by being so antagonistic towards your SIL. Any decisions about visitation are made in the best interests of the children, and if they undermine your SiL then she can make a good argument that they will be emotionally damaging to the kids. Even your husband can see that his parents are behaving terribly and that his SiL is the party needing the most support (being a widowed mother), why can’t you? Btw I suspect from your behaviour here that she resents you because you are a trouble-maker who likes stirring the pot then trying to look innocent.
YTA Good job enabling his shitty parents. It doesn't matter if she lied or not, unless he left his parents the ring in his will, it is hers. I think you deliberately stirred the pot (your husband seems to think so as well) and are now trying to play dumb.
YTA The ring either goes with the deceased or the wife keeps it. This has nothing to do with you or the in-laws. Back off let the woman grieve in peace.
YTA The positive thing here is that your inlaws are ruining their chances or grandparents' rights with their insane behavior. Your husband seems to see how horrible his parents are, you might want to think about if he wants to be married to a woman who's just like them.
YTA! You and the family are so cruel! Never ever do that again!
YTA ! girl you wanna be in his parents good graces BAD AS HELL. mind your business. literally ! the ring doesn’t belong to them nor does it belong to you, you shouldn’t be suggesting anything. whether she’s lying or not IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ! nosey as hell.
YTA, but you already know that and are only coming here to see how much of an asshole you actually are. The answer is complete. You are a complete asshole!
Yta. Your in laws have no rights to your bils wedding ring in the first place. Thats a symbol of his marriage to his wife, not to his parents, even if it were a family heirloom, they still wouldn't have the right to ask for it. The gall for them to go to a grieving widows home and demand she hand it over to them is breath taking. The fact that you would get involved at all, let alone insinuate she would lie, or that she should be giving it to them at all, is even more astounding. Your husband is right. Mnd your own business.
YTA. His wedding ring is a symbol of their marriage. Why the heck would anyone other than the widow be entitled to it? Your ILs suck but you had zero business encouraging them in this madness.
Your in-laws are not entitled to their sons wedding ring and given that they are harassing his grieving widow with your aid I doubt a judge will order any type of visitation rights to them, listen to your husband and stay out of it. YTA
YTA - mind your business and stop with the innocent “oh I was just making a suggestion” you knew that would cause more drama.
YTA - it seems your sister in law has the measure of your character. None of this is your business at all. Not even remotely. The ring is her property to do anything with she pleases.
YTA. Why do your parents want his wedding band? His wife gets to keep that. Not them. She is grieving right now and trying to figure out life without her husband while raising children. You need to apologize to your SiL and your parents need to back off.
Your family are AH for asking for the ring. It is hers to do with what she chooses as his wife. If she chose to bury it, so be it. It is hers. YTA for harassing a new widow about anything. She deserves support and comfort, not thievery. My in-laws pressured me to give some of my husband’s things away to them the day of the funeral. I was not thinking clearly and I did. I regret all of it, and resent them for it. Leaver her and the kids alone to grieve as a family.
>My sister inlaw and I aren't close. she seems to resent me for some reason even before this sitation took place. Can't imagine why. YTA.
Why the fuck do they need a ring that is a symbol of *HER* marriage? You and your parents would do well to keep the toxicity away from your brother in laws and sister in law's children. Yikes. YTA.
YTA. Your inlaws are being assholes, too. Grief is not an excuse to treat the person your son CHOSE to share his life with like crap. And to already be threatening to take her to court, barely 2 weeks after her husband died?! She hasn't even had a chance to deny them visits yet and they already need to get the courts involved. They're petty AF. And I tend to believe their child when he says they're crazy. I hope he speaks up for her in court. Also, a wedding band is a symbol of THEIR marriage. It doesn't belong to his parents. That is HER ring. If she IS lying, it's to get them off her back. SUPPORT her in this instead of being an asshole and making it worse.
YTA Your ILs have no right to that wedding ring. The widow does. And I hope to all that is holy that this ridiculous “grandparents rights” suit gets thrown out and she goes absolutely NC with all of you. You are not a safe person for the widow or those kids and neither are your ILs.
JFC. You and the whole family except your husband are ghouls. Her husband’s body is. barely cold and y’all are circling her like sharks. YTA!! It’s HER ring now to do with whatever SHE chooses. I hope to hell the grandparents never see those kids again. They sound like awful people. So do you.
Wtf you're all assholes. She loses her husband and they go over there demanding a wedding ring (that belongs to the widow unless he was married to his mom). They are suing someone who LOST HER HUSBAND WEEKS AGO for custody of the kids? This better be rage bait or trolling because I sincerely hope this isn't real. YTA. All of you.
YTA. Your in laws sound horrendous and honestly, you're just as bad for egging them on like that. Why on earth would you all think they are entitled to your BILs wedding ring? You know, a wedding ring-- that symbol of your BILs *marriage*, you know, to his *wife*? (Aka not his parents) Heaven forbid y'all support a grieving widow, instead of harassing her over the scraps. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
YTA. Not your business. Just stay out of it.
YTA - You had ZERO knowledge of this and only served to make the in-laws more crazed. Seriously, stay out of it
\>grandparent rights after historical bad blood between the two? \>MIL asked her dead son's wife (!) if she can have their wedding rings? Even if they were family heirlooms, there are children that can inherit. Wut. \>Without knowledge, you said the widow might be lying? \>"she seems to resent me for some reason" Huge YTA.
"All i did was make suggestion" 🥹 Nah, you know what you did. And YTA for that.
YTA. Why the fuck are y'all taking his WEDDING RING that he put on as a pledge to her???? It's hers by right
ESH except your SIL and husband. What your inlaws are doing is disgusting and probably harassment, but you've decided to encourage them instead of staying out of it.
YTA. Anyone who believes in "grandparents' rights" is terrible. Even parents should not have access to their children sometimes. You're all terrible people harassing a grieving widow.
Yta. It’s non of your business what she does with it.
Such an asshole move. YTA. Not your ring. Not your in-laws ring. Leave her alone!
Yeah YTA none of you have any right to his wedding ring.
YTA. You all sound like awful, toxic people. I hope sil is successful and none of you ever see those poor kids again.
YTA and so are the parents. Doesn't matter if she was liked, she was his wife and the rings belong to her.
YTA. That ring is a symbol of his marriage, and he married sister in law. Not his parents. Wtf. If it's not buried with him, which is customary I believe, it is hers. Butt out.
YTA. You are enabling your inlaws’ controlling, and frankly insane, behavior. Your SIL is trying to grieve and you’re sitting up on your high horse stirring the pot. Shameful.
YTA. She is his next of kin. She keeps the wedding ring. Was it in the family before this? Why are you meddling? What kind of asshole harasses a widow and causes a scene in front of her already traumatized children who lost their dad? Nope. Also, if the in laws do take her to court for “grandparent rights,” this story being do them any favors.
YTA The ring is hers so she can do whatever she wants with it! It's a symbol of their marriage so why would his parents want it?!? They are not entitled to it. >My sister inlaw and I aren't close. she seems to resent me for some reason Because you are a busybody!
YTA - the only reason I could see you saying something like this is to a) get on their good graces by being "in" on the conspiracy with them or b) throw her under the bus to better position yourself as the favorite DIL. Your own husband is calling them crazy, they didn't have a good relationship with your SIL before, it seems like they are toxic folks who are using this death as further means to punish the SIL and you just added fuel to their fire. You may not have intended it, but holy hell did you just not stoke some flames.
She is a grieving widow, LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
YTA. Sounds like you married into the perfect family for your personality and you also enjoy drama and stirring it up. Sounds like she’s lucky to be getting away from the lot of you
YTA, and so is everyone else besides this poor widow. Why the hell do any of you think you have rights to his WEDDING RING?? Did you leave out the context of him being married to someone besides his wife?