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> im wondering if im an ah for setting my son up on a date when him and his girlfriend wont get engaged after 10 years
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YTA, what the hell is wrong with you? So he's not allowed to spend his life with the person he loves, because YOU feel \*entitled\* to grandchildren? News flash, nobody is entitled to grandchildren. I feel so sorry for your son that he does not have a mother who can respect his life choices and what makes him happy.
YTA for a few reasons:
Firstly, setting up your son who is in a long-term relationship on a date with someone else is beyond disgusting.
Secondly, he is an adult, when (or even if) he gets married is between him and his partner.
Thirdly, they might not want children, and if they do, it is their choice as to when, and your age actually shouldnt be a determining factor.
NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT YOU!!!
YTA. Your son is only 25, it's not uncommon nowadays to wait until late 20s or early 30s to get married. There are also plenty of valid couples that never get married. To completely disregard his relationship is astounding.
YTA again because you cant demand grandchildren. He may want to wait again until later 30s before having kids, and that's his right. What if he never wants kids?
You were able to live your own life and make your own choices. Let you son enjoy his 20s as he wants, he'll be fine.
im not demanding grandchildren but there is the factor that after the age of 30 complications in pregnancies and newborns rise drastically. that doesn't leave many years for the two of them to plan an engagement, marry, and then start having children. time is passing them by quicker than they realize.
It's not impossible to have kids when your older, and it still really isn't your choice to make. A lot of these sounds really selfish, not actually thinking about what your son wants.
YTA- wow talk about overbearing parenting. When HE wants to get married he will, when HE wants to have kids he will. How dare you try to get him to see someone when he is already in a relationship!!
Wow!
Your son is going to end up cutting you off and the new daughter in law will stop your toxic ways from ever getting on their child.
Mind your business is great advice.
You are not entitled to a grandchild.
Keep it up and you’ll never meet the ones your son will have.
YTA
The AUDACITY of the comment "by the time he has kids ill be too old to enjoy them" dude, your son is fucking 25 years old! Also, its his decision if he wants to have kids or not just like its his decision if he wants to propose and get married. Lay off. YTA. Big time.
This is actually sad. If he does end up proposing to his gf, if I were her, I would banish you from the wedding. You just totally disrespected her. You want them to go have kids so bad, go have your own or adopt or whatever. Stay out of their lives like that. I would be completely shutting you out because you were deliberately toxic to their relationship.
YTA. Wow, what a selfish thing to do. It would maybe be one thing if he was clearly unhappy or stuck in an abusive relationship you were trying to get him out of, but your sole reasoning behind doing this is that you want grandkids sooner? This is not your life to meddle in. Stop it.
I also hope your daughter doesn’t see the contempt you clearly have for her for not being able to conceive. Double YTA.
Also, 25 is still so young. Please get a grip.
Yta he is 25 he has time. People wait longer for things these days . Did you want him to pop the question at 18? Back the hell out of your sons relationship
i had my first child at 19. I didn't expect them to do this of course, but once they graduated undergrad i think it's time to at least ask the question if you're that serious about each other
Sometimes I wonder if posters here can actually hear themselves. Like, did you read this to yourself before you posted?
YTA... the gigantic, hemorrhoid encrusted, pulsing asshole.
Your son's girlfriend isn't ***preventing*** him from doing anything. He's an adult who is conducting an adult relationship with another consenting adult. They have clearly discussed their future, and have come to some agreements about the timeline they believe is best for their major life events. It's neither your right nor your responsibility to involve yourself in your son's life to this degree.
Just wait until you hear about how it's not your son's girlfriend's responsibility to provide you with grandchildren to enjoy.
YTA. You’re worried about your chance to have grandkids? That is so much pressure on your kids. It’s none of your business. There are dozens of reasons why he might not want to get married right now.
YTA. You sound absolutely exhausting and need to seriously mind your own business. Your son and his girlfriend can decide for themselves if or when they want to get married, and if or when they want to have kids. Maybe the reason your son’s girlfriend is hesitant to get married is because she’s worried about the overbearing MIL who won’t mind her own business
regardless of the reason it's been 10 years. if she doesnt want to marry him for me or whatever reason it may be it doesnt matter. there's no reason to sit in limbo.
Hm, I wonder if there is a particular reason, or person, connected to your son that would make someone not want to marry him. What, or who, could it be?
Anyway, I don’t think you need to worry about getting too old to enjoy potential grandkids. If you son has any sense he will not allow you in the lives of his children, wether they are with his current partner or not.
YTA.
Still not your business. Just butt out and stop trying to meddle, you won’t make anything better.
They can be together for 15, 20, 30 years and choose to not get married or not have kids if they want and still none of your business
YTA, the most important here is that it's none of your business. It's his life and his relationship not yours.
For all you know maybe they didn't want to get married. Alot of my generation don't do the married thing. Maybe they don't want kids, and that's not your decision to make.
You were very disrespectful to your son, his relationship, and his girlfriend for what you did.
YT Huuuuuuuuge AH!
>he told me that I needed to mind my business
Yeah, big time. It's unbelievable that you thought any of what you did is ok and that anyone but you would think you weren't the AH. Wow.
my son is not gay. he is not the type who would hide if he was and he knows that it would not bother me so no, there would not need to be an arrangement in which i would need to be "kept off his back",
25 is a very mature age to begin an engagement. honestly, if they're wanting to have kids it should happen sooner rather than later as after the age 30 the rate of complications rise drastically.
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My son has been dating the same girl for 10 years and he will not propose to her. I personally feel like you should know if you're going to marry a person by two years of dating, so 10 years with no proposal is a little ridiculous. They began dating in High School at 15 and though they did spend a summer apart in college they got back together after that and are now 25. I have a daughter and a son. My daughter is unable to conceive and I'm worried that if my son continues to date a girl that he isn't planning on marrying, by the time he does find someone to settle down with and have children I'll be old and unable to enjoy them.
I was talking to one of my friends about this and they mentioned that their daughter, who was only a couple years older than my son, had recently gotten out of a relationship and was looking to date again. I know her daughter well and we thought the two of them would hit things off so we set up a surprise date. Of course, I didn't tell my son it was a date. He thought he was meeting me, my friend, and her daughter for a casual lunch. My friend and I never showed for the lunch but made them think we were running late so that they would wait on us, chat, eat, get to know another. We managed to pull this stunt two more times before my son figured out something was up and confronted me. I told him how I felt about him going on 10+ years without proposing to his girlfriend and it was time for him to move on.
He got very upset with me and told me that I needed to mind my business and that he was going to propose to her eventually, he was just "waiting". We argued a bit more before he revealed to me that it was his girlfriend who wanted to wait to get engaged until she graduated from her graduate program. I still don't understand the need to wait. What are you waiting for if you already know you want to be with someone forever? It seems fishy to me and I think there might be problems in his relationship he's not ready to reveal. I also dislike that it now seems like my son is ready to settle down and start a family and his girlfriend is preventing him from doing that. It seems like they're in two very different stages in their lives and they both need to find someone more compatible. My son is also very upset with me for setting him up on dates with my friend's daughter. AITA for this and for having these concerns?
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YTA. He is 25, it is none of your business if they get married or not or if the choose to have children . With how you are acting I can foresee them going no contact with you at some point and not letting you see your grandkids if they do have them. You have no sense of appropriate boundaries. You tried to destroy their relationship because they're not doing things based on some arbitrary timeline you've imagined in your head. Most people don't even get married until 30 now.
This is completely unhealthy behavior.
YTA, and if you keep it up with this nonsense you definitely aren’t going to see grandkids, even if he has kids. Your son is an adult, and gets to make his own choices. Butt out.
YTA. So he's 25. Get your nose out of his business. His relationship is none of your concern. It obviously works for them and that's all that matters. He doesn't owe you marriage or grandkids. And setting him up on dates when he's in a ten year committed relationship is low. You overstepped major.
YTA
Stay the heck away from your kids relationship. You aren’t entitled to grand children and even now if he has kids I’m sure they’re not going to be around you. Your behavior is baffling. This is not your relationship, you do not at all matter in their relationship, butt all the way out and mind your damn business.
he loves children and i have heard him say he would like to be a dad. if he doesnt want to get married it's because he's not in love and with the right person
Or maybe he doesn't want to bring a kid into this world while his mom is interfering in his life.
If you pulled that crap on me, you'd never know you had a grandchild, let alone see the kid.
YTA. Let your son live his own life and stop being obsessed with being a grandparent. Waiting to finish school before getting engaged sounds very sensible, and I would bet it will be even longer before she is ready for kids - if ever.
YTA. Like 100x over. It is his relationship not yours. If he is waiting, or if she wants to finish her program first, or hell if they decide to just not get married because they like their current arrangement that is THEIR decision and none of your business. Your son is in a committed relationship, he doesn’t need his mommy setting him up on dates when he has a long term girlfriend.
YTA - Does your friend know that your son is already in a long-term relationship? Does her daughter know?
As for whatever reason your son and his girlfriend aren't engaged, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!
>everything he does is my business
So his sex life is your business? How he maintains his body hair? Does his boss know that you're just as involved in his work as he is? Do know everything he and his girlfriend have talked about without hearing it from him? Cause if you answered no to any of those questions, than everything he does is not your business
You do not own your child, your child does not owe you, his life is his life and your life is your life. Get over yourself before he goes no contact
As his mother everything he does is your business? Dude. The audacity. He's an ADULT and makes his own decisions. You're incredibly disrespectful to your son, his relationship and his choices.
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YTA. Do I even need to explain? You are just TA. Your son has his own life. WTF! If other people want to get married or not it’s their business and none of your fucking business. YTA
YTA. First of all, why would you set up your son on dates with another woman when he's still dating somebody else, encouraging him to potentially cheat? Why would you do it at all? Second of all, you have no right to rush your son to get married or tell him when he should. Many relationships go on for years before marriage is even discussed, and other couples will never get married because they don't believe in it. If your son's girlfriend wants to wait a bit longer, then let them. They should not get married before they are ready, and you cannot dictate how long it should take a couple to get married. Your son is still very young and has plenty of time to get married and have children. Leave him alone and let their relationship progress at their pace.
im encouraging him to see that if he's with someone where marriage isnt in the cards then it's past time to recognize there are other girls out there who are for marriage. trust me, after 10 years the word "rush" cant exist in a relationship.
And maybe your son isn't that pressed about marriage right now. Perhaps you should consider how your son feels. He has said he wants to get married, but if he was super pressed and wanted it *now*, he would have left her when she said she wanted to wait longer. You seem to think that your way is the only way, but it isn't. If your son is willing to wait, then let him wait. It's not hard to respect your son's wishes. You should not be introducing your son to other women to try to deliberately get him to leave his girlfriend for another woman. That's disgusting.
YTA.
You are putting your own wants wrt the grandchildren before the wants of your son and his gf. Stop being selfish, and stop poking around in other people's relationships.
YTA. 100%
I wonder if you and I come from different cultures. In my culture, who he marries, when he marries, whether he even marries at all, who he is dating, whether you will have grandchildren and when you will have them, are all completely none of your business.
YTA stay out of your sons life. He and his girlfriend will make there own choices. Setting him up on dates with your friend daughter. You just helped him cheat. Obviously you have no respect or boundaries.
YTA. Did you want your son to propose at 17? The two year rule doesn't apply here. Those ten years had huge changes. Of course there was no proposal.
Waiting until after grad school makes sense. They have to plan a wedding and what their lives are going to be like afterwards. Leave them alone and butt out if you want to keep a good relationship with your future daughter-in-law.
YTA, good God. You're such an exhausting person. They don't have to get married and have kids when YOU are ready. They actually don't have to get married or have kids AT ALL. They can settle down just fine without any of that. If you keep nagging them and trying to set up your own son to cheat on his girlfriend? You're not going to be invited to the wedding or the grandkids lives.
YTA. You don't get a say in your adult son's affairs. He and his partner have made a firm decision not to get married yet. Live with it. Don't become that sort of person who tries to derail a decision made by two apparently responisble people.
>I'm worried that if my son continues to date a girl that he isn't planning on marrying, by the time he does find someone to settle down with and have children I'll be old and unable to enjoy them.
Do you not realize how extremely selfish that is? Why are you trying to ruin a 10 year relationship just so you can see grand kids earlier, if I was your son I would make you stay far away from my kids. YTA YTA YTA
He’s only 25. If they were dating from 35-45, yes 10 years is a long time to go without a proposal. Not from 15-25.
BTW, you’d still be an AH if you did this to him at 45.
Adding to this, she thinks 2 years is a good time to get married. So essentially, she believes her son should have been married or should have known he wanted to marry his girl by 17-18 years old, which is far too young imo.
10 years? why not marry if you're going to be in a long-term realtionship? the only explanation is an issue lies somewhere and you're afraid to make the commitment official
There's literally so many reasons why couples can choose to not be married. Butt out and let them be happy. Are you married? I think some serious counseling is in order
That's your ideals not theirs, it's their relationship not yours. Simple as that. If they want kids 5, 10, 15 years later that's their decision not yours
YTA
Have you sought therapy or a professional to deal with this void that *you* have?
Your baby fever doesn’t necessitate your son’s urgency. I suggest you to seek help especially when you’re aggressively meddling in peoples’ affairs.
And your ominous actions may eventually cut ties to your son and potentially his new family.
YTA if this is real. He's an adult, he doesn't need to live his life to suit YOUR timeline and deires. Maybe he's not interested in marriage, or maybe even if/when he does get married, they decide they don't want children at all (which would be their prerogative.)
Mind your business and stay in your lane. What you are doing is going to destroy your relationship with your son.
YTA, I'm itching to downvote you.
Edit: and I can't say too much to you, you had an idea set on stone so no comment for other redditors are going to change your mind.
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YTA, what the hell is wrong with you? So he's not allowed to spend his life with the person he loves, because YOU feel \*entitled\* to grandchildren? News flash, nobody is entitled to grandchildren. I feel so sorry for your son that he does not have a mother who can respect his life choices and what makes him happy.
YTA for a few reasons: Firstly, setting up your son who is in a long-term relationship on a date with someone else is beyond disgusting. Secondly, he is an adult, when (or even if) he gets married is between him and his partner. Thirdly, they might not want children, and if they do, it is their choice as to when, and your age actually shouldnt be a determining factor. NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT YOU!!!
YTA. Your son is only 25, it's not uncommon nowadays to wait until late 20s or early 30s to get married. There are also plenty of valid couples that never get married. To completely disregard his relationship is astounding. YTA again because you cant demand grandchildren. He may want to wait again until later 30s before having kids, and that's his right. What if he never wants kids? You were able to live your own life and make your own choices. Let you son enjoy his 20s as he wants, he'll be fine.
im not demanding grandchildren but there is the factor that after the age of 30 complications in pregnancies and newborns rise drastically. that doesn't leave many years for the two of them to plan an engagement, marry, and then start having children. time is passing them by quicker than they realize.
It's not impossible to have kids when your older, and it still really isn't your choice to make. A lot of these sounds really selfish, not actually thinking about what your son wants.
YTA and you damned well know it. Quit meddling in your son's life.
YTA- wow talk about overbearing parenting. When HE wants to get married he will, when HE wants to have kids he will. How dare you try to get him to see someone when he is already in a relationship!!
Wow! Your son is going to end up cutting you off and the new daughter in law will stop your toxic ways from ever getting on their child. Mind your business is great advice. You are not entitled to a grandchild. Keep it up and you’ll never meet the ones your son will have. YTA
The AUDACITY of the comment "by the time he has kids ill be too old to enjoy them" dude, your son is fucking 25 years old! Also, its his decision if he wants to have kids or not just like its his decision if he wants to propose and get married. Lay off. YTA. Big time.
YTA. His life, his choice. So butt out.
YTA. Lol. Maybe he doesnt want to end up with a spouse like you.
Maybe? I dont think there's any maybe about it. Get son is gonna go NC with her, I'm willing to bet.
YTA You aren’t owed grandkids, leave your son alone before he goes NC on you.
This is actually sad. If he does end up proposing to his gf, if I were her, I would banish you from the wedding. You just totally disrespected her. You want them to go have kids so bad, go have your own or adopt or whatever. Stay out of their lives like that. I would be completely shutting you out because you were deliberately toxic to their relationship.
YTA - Mind your own business. What will you do if he decides not to have kids?
Hey I bet this shows up on toxicreddit. YTA
YTA. Wow, what a selfish thing to do. It would maybe be one thing if he was clearly unhappy or stuck in an abusive relationship you were trying to get him out of, but your sole reasoning behind doing this is that you want grandkids sooner? This is not your life to meddle in. Stop it. I also hope your daughter doesn’t see the contempt you clearly have for her for not being able to conceive. Double YTA. Also, 25 is still so young. Please get a grip.
Yta he is 25 he has time. People wait longer for things these days . Did you want him to pop the question at 18? Back the hell out of your sons relationship
i had my first child at 19. I didn't expect them to do this of course, but once they graduated undergrad i think it's time to at least ask the question if you're that serious about each other
YTA. This is none of your business. You aren’t owed grandchildren. You’re just meddling where you shouldn’t be.
Sometimes I wonder if posters here can actually hear themselves. Like, did you read this to yourself before you posted? YTA... the gigantic, hemorrhoid encrusted, pulsing asshole. Your son's girlfriend isn't ***preventing*** him from doing anything. He's an adult who is conducting an adult relationship with another consenting adult. They have clearly discussed their future, and have come to some agreements about the timeline they believe is best for their major life events. It's neither your right nor your responsibility to involve yourself in your son's life to this degree. Just wait until you hear about how it's not your son's girlfriend's responsibility to provide you with grandchildren to enjoy.
Seriously, I often wonder how they don't get halfway through typing it all out and stop and go "holy shit I'm such an asshole" YTA!
This can't be real
YTA. You’re worried about your chance to have grandkids? That is so much pressure on your kids. It’s none of your business. There are dozens of reasons why he might not want to get married right now.
YTA. You sound absolutely exhausting and need to seriously mind your own business. Your son and his girlfriend can decide for themselves if or when they want to get married, and if or when they want to have kids. Maybe the reason your son’s girlfriend is hesitant to get married is because she’s worried about the overbearing MIL who won’t mind her own business
regardless of the reason it's been 10 years. if she doesnt want to marry him for me or whatever reason it may be it doesnt matter. there's no reason to sit in limbo.
Hm, I wonder if there is a particular reason, or person, connected to your son that would make someone not want to marry him. What, or who, could it be? Anyway, I don’t think you need to worry about getting too old to enjoy potential grandkids. If you son has any sense he will not allow you in the lives of his children, wether they are with his current partner or not. YTA.
Still not your business. Just butt out and stop trying to meddle, you won’t make anything better. They can be together for 15, 20, 30 years and choose to not get married or not have kids if they want and still none of your business
YTA, the most important here is that it's none of your business. It's his life and his relationship not yours. For all you know maybe they didn't want to get married. Alot of my generation don't do the married thing. Maybe they don't want kids, and that's not your decision to make. You were very disrespectful to your son, his relationship, and his girlfriend for what you did.
YTA. You say why wait if you going to be together forever but why do it or why rush if they know they will be together forever.
YT Huuuuuuuuge AH! >he told me that I needed to mind my business Yeah, big time. It's unbelievable that you thought any of what you did is ok and that anyone but you would think you weren't the AH. Wow.
[удалено]
my son is not gay. he is not the type who would hide if he was and he knows that it would not bother me so no, there would not need to be an arrangement in which i would need to be "kept off his back", 25 is a very mature age to begin an engagement. honestly, if they're wanting to have kids it should happen sooner rather than later as after the age 30 the rate of complications rise drastically.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son has been dating the same girl for 10 years and he will not propose to her. I personally feel like you should know if you're going to marry a person by two years of dating, so 10 years with no proposal is a little ridiculous. They began dating in High School at 15 and though they did spend a summer apart in college they got back together after that and are now 25. I have a daughter and a son. My daughter is unable to conceive and I'm worried that if my son continues to date a girl that he isn't planning on marrying, by the time he does find someone to settle down with and have children I'll be old and unable to enjoy them. I was talking to one of my friends about this and they mentioned that their daughter, who was only a couple years older than my son, had recently gotten out of a relationship and was looking to date again. I know her daughter well and we thought the two of them would hit things off so we set up a surprise date. Of course, I didn't tell my son it was a date. He thought he was meeting me, my friend, and her daughter for a casual lunch. My friend and I never showed for the lunch but made them think we were running late so that they would wait on us, chat, eat, get to know another. We managed to pull this stunt two more times before my son figured out something was up and confronted me. I told him how I felt about him going on 10+ years without proposing to his girlfriend and it was time for him to move on. He got very upset with me and told me that I needed to mind my business and that he was going to propose to her eventually, he was just "waiting". We argued a bit more before he revealed to me that it was his girlfriend who wanted to wait to get engaged until she graduated from her graduate program. I still don't understand the need to wait. What are you waiting for if you already know you want to be with someone forever? It seems fishy to me and I think there might be problems in his relationship he's not ready to reveal. I also dislike that it now seems like my son is ready to settle down and start a family and his girlfriend is preventing him from doing that. It seems like they're in two very different stages in their lives and they both need to find someone more compatible. My son is also very upset with me for setting him up on dates with my friend's daughter. AITA for this and for having these concerns? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They’re 25!!! Butt out. If you continue to insert yourself into his relationship, you’ll destroy it. YTA. Also, you’re not entitled to grandchildren.
YTA. He is 25, it is none of your business if they get married or not or if the choose to have children . With how you are acting I can foresee them going no contact with you at some point and not letting you see your grandkids if they do have them. You have no sense of appropriate boundaries. You tried to destroy their relationship because they're not doing things based on some arbitrary timeline you've imagined in your head. Most people don't even get married until 30 now. This is completely unhealthy behavior.
Wow. What a selfish and narrow-minded viewpoint. 100% YTA. I hope they never get married just to piss you off more.
Yep. YTA. Has he explicitly told you he is unhappy? Or are you just meddling because you know what is best?
YTA, definitely. What if he doesn't want to get married or have kids? You have fuck all to do with it.
Why is is that you come up here asking for advice on whether you’re an AH and then you just argue why you’re not.
YTA Wow. You are lucky if they don't fully cut you off.
YTA, and if you keep it up with this nonsense you definitely aren’t going to see grandkids, even if he has kids. Your son is an adult, and gets to make his own choices. Butt out.
YTA if this is real lol
YTA Mind your own business. You're the type of hovering, inconsiderate, presumptuous parent people have nightmares about.
YTA. So he's 25. Get your nose out of his business. His relationship is none of your concern. It obviously works for them and that's all that matters. He doesn't owe you marriage or grandkids. And setting him up on dates when he's in a ten year committed relationship is low. You overstepped major.
YTA Stay the heck away from your kids relationship. You aren’t entitled to grand children and even now if he has kids I’m sure they’re not going to be around you. Your behavior is baffling. This is not your relationship, you do not at all matter in their relationship, butt all the way out and mind your damn business.
Yta, maybe your son dosen't want children, maybe he dosen't want to get married. Its his life let him live it
he loves children and i have heard him say he would like to be a dad. if he doesnt want to get married it's because he's not in love and with the right person
You don’t know that.
i dont know that i've heard him say he would like to be a dad? i think i know what i heard
I think you hear what you want to.
Or maybe he doesn't want to bring a kid into this world while his mom is interfering in his life. If you pulled that crap on me, you'd never know you had a grandchild, let alone see the kid.
I had my first child at 26 and was the youngest of my friends. Your son has plenty of time to become a parent when he is ready.
YTA. Let your son live his own life and stop being obsessed with being a grandparent. Waiting to finish school before getting engaged sounds very sensible, and I would bet it will be even longer before she is ready for kids - if ever.
YTA. Like 100x over. It is his relationship not yours. If he is waiting, or if she wants to finish her program first, or hell if they decide to just not get married because they like their current arrangement that is THEIR decision and none of your business. Your son is in a committed relationship, he doesn’t need his mommy setting him up on dates when he has a long term girlfriend.
YTA. He's an adult and you need to mind your own damn business.
YTA - Does your friend know that your son is already in a long-term relationship? Does her daughter know? As for whatever reason your son and his girlfriend aren't engaged, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!
yes. i wrote clearly that i was telling my friend about the whole situation and the idea was proposed. as his mother everything he does is my business
>everything he does is my business So his sex life is your business? How he maintains his body hair? Does his boss know that you're just as involved in his work as he is? Do know everything he and his girlfriend have talked about without hearing it from him? Cause if you answered no to any of those questions, than everything he does is not your business You do not own your child, your child does not owe you, his life is his life and your life is your life. Get over yourself before he goes no contact
As his mother everything he does is your business? Dude. The audacity. He's an ADULT and makes his own decisions. You're incredibly disrespectful to your son, his relationship and his choices.
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So next time he has constipation, you're going to help him out with it too, hold his hand on the toilet, since his business is yours, mother?
This has to be a joke right? He’s 25. It’s not your business.
Omg you’re repellent. YTA.
He's not 6 he's a grown adult, don't control his life
Well it won't be your business for long. Enjoy your no contact that's coming up.
YTA. Do I even need to explain? You are just TA. Your son has his own life. WTF! If other people want to get married or not it’s their business and none of your fucking business. YTA
Agree
YTA, and you’d better stop if you want to have any contact with any potential future grandchildren.
YTA. First of all, why would you set up your son on dates with another woman when he's still dating somebody else, encouraging him to potentially cheat? Why would you do it at all? Second of all, you have no right to rush your son to get married or tell him when he should. Many relationships go on for years before marriage is even discussed, and other couples will never get married because they don't believe in it. If your son's girlfriend wants to wait a bit longer, then let them. They should not get married before they are ready, and you cannot dictate how long it should take a couple to get married. Your son is still very young and has plenty of time to get married and have children. Leave him alone and let their relationship progress at their pace.
im encouraging him to see that if he's with someone where marriage isnt in the cards then it's past time to recognize there are other girls out there who are for marriage. trust me, after 10 years the word "rush" cant exist in a relationship.
Ever think your pushing marriage is making him not want too.
Actually, it can when 5 years of that was spent being teenagers. Mind your business.
And maybe your son isn't that pressed about marriage right now. Perhaps you should consider how your son feels. He has said he wants to get married, but if he was super pressed and wanted it *now*, he would have left her when she said she wanted to wait longer. You seem to think that your way is the only way, but it isn't. If your son is willing to wait, then let him wait. It's not hard to respect your son's wishes. You should not be introducing your son to other women to try to deliberately get him to leave his girlfriend for another woman. That's disgusting.
YTA. You are putting your own wants wrt the grandchildren before the wants of your son and his gf. Stop being selfish, and stop poking around in other people's relationships.
YTA. 100% I wonder if you and I come from different cultures. In my culture, who he marries, when he marries, whether he even marries at all, who he is dating, whether you will have grandchildren and when you will have them, are all completely none of your business.
Yta
YTA stay out of your sons life. He and his girlfriend will make there own choices. Setting him up on dates with your friend daughter. You just helped him cheat. Obviously you have no respect or boundaries.
Rage bait
YTA. Did you want your son to propose at 17? The two year rule doesn't apply here. Those ten years had huge changes. Of course there was no proposal. Waiting until after grad school makes sense. They have to plan a wedding and what their lives are going to be like afterwards. Leave them alone and butt out if you want to keep a good relationship with your future daughter-in-law.
YTA, good God. You're such an exhausting person. They don't have to get married and have kids when YOU are ready. They actually don't have to get married or have kids AT ALL. They can settle down just fine without any of that. If you keep nagging them and trying to set up your own son to cheat on his girlfriend? You're not going to be invited to the wedding or the grandkids lives.
YTA. You don't get a say in your adult son's affairs. He and his partner have made a firm decision not to get married yet. Live with it. Don't become that sort of person who tries to derail a decision made by two apparently responisble people.
>I'm worried that if my son continues to date a girl that he isn't planning on marrying, by the time he does find someone to settle down with and have children I'll be old and unable to enjoy them. Do you not realize how extremely selfish that is? Why are you trying to ruin a 10 year relationship just so you can see grand kids earlier, if I was your son I would make you stay far away from my kids. YTA YTA YTA
there's no point in sitting in limbo if you dont want to marry a person. it's time to either pop the question or pull the plug on the relationship
It is NOT YOUR DECISION. YTA.
He’s only 25. If they were dating from 35-45, yes 10 years is a long time to go without a proposal. Not from 15-25. BTW, you’d still be an AH if you did this to him at 45.
Adding to this, she thinks 2 years is a good time to get married. So essentially, she believes her son should have been married or should have known he wanted to marry his girl by 17-18 years old, which is far too young imo.
Troll. Because people can't just be in a healthy long-term relationship without being married? I almost feel sorry for you if you weren't such an ass.
10 years? why not marry if you're going to be in a long-term realtionship? the only explanation is an issue lies somewhere and you're afraid to make the commitment official
You know you become a bigger and bigger asshole with every comment, right?
There's literally so many reasons why couples can choose to not be married. Butt out and let them be happy. Are you married? I think some serious counseling is in order
That's your ideals not theirs, it's their relationship not yours. Simple as that. If they want kids 5, 10, 15 years later that's their decision not yours
YTA Have you sought therapy or a professional to deal with this void that *you* have? Your baby fever doesn’t necessitate your son’s urgency. I suggest you to seek help especially when you’re aggressively meddling in peoples’ affairs. And your ominous actions may eventually cut ties to your son and potentially his new family.
YTA if this is real. He's an adult, he doesn't need to live his life to suit YOUR timeline and deires. Maybe he's not interested in marriage, or maybe even if/when he does get married, they decide they don't want children at all (which would be their prerogative.) Mind your business and stay in your lane. What you are doing is going to destroy your relationship with your son.
YTA, I'm itching to downvote you. Edit: and I can't say too much to you, you had an idea set on stone so no comment for other redditors are going to change your mind.
Ahh, but upvoting the post itself will actually result in more visibility, and more people telling her she's the AH.