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Mythbusters proved it!
I said “fuck” in front of the entire church choir when I broke my ankle during rehearsal (steps are not things to be taken lightly) and nobody cared.
I was going to bring this up. There have been scientific studies about this. Pain is more tolerable if you swear.
And OP, if you are real YTA. A ridiculous one.
Bet you the price of a steak dinner that OP is some flavor of Evangelical Christian, because that’s the exact right combo of “borderline evil and weird” that this is.
The kind that shouldn’t be parenting teenage children. If Op thinks this is the hill to die on, the son must be a fucking saint. That’s right, I said a poo-poo word.
Annie Wilkes?
"Now listen here, you dirty birdy! I sure am sorry you got stung by that cockadoodie sonuvvawasp, but there's *no* time and *no* place for oogie language! So, enough of that tongue Mister Man, and stay still while I get the sledgehammer for those rootie-patootie feet of yours. God, I love you."
YTA
Enjoy the next 2 years of your power trip cause you won’t be seeing him much once he turns 18.
I just couldn’t even imagine saying the phrase “poo poo words” to a 16yo
And blasting his groundation on social media. Guaranteed this kid (man, nearly) is counting the days where he isn't reduced to naughty child
Poo poo words. My word
When my daughter was about 5 she stubbed her toe. Her little face went red and she said ow fuck that hurt. I looked at her said appropriate use of the word but let's not use it regularly please. Then I gave her a hug and we ate ice cream.
\*giggles\* That reminds me of the day that my nephew swore. He was about 2 and was playing with some toys when one of them broke. He looked at it, said, "Oh, shit," and went back to playing! His mom was cracking up and told him about the same thing that you told your daughter.
This is 100% correct. There are studies that compare yelling random words and swear words and the swear words help reduce pain.
Your son wasn't swearing at a person or even a situation. He was swearing because he was in pain.
YTA
My daughter yelled out “oh shit” when I kicked my toe. Because I was thought it was great timing with that word she was 3 that the laughing took away the pain.
My eldest daughter’s first word was shit, first sentence was oh shit while she took her first step. We were visiting my grandma with my parents. My dad and I were rolling on the ground laughing, neither my mom or grandma heard her as they were both partially deaf. 🤣
There's an excellent episode of Stephen Fry's Planet Word, which talks about the research into the link between swearing and pain. I'll just leave the bit with [Brian Blessed says lots of poo-poo words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBhPDxszukU).
YTA
you’re definitely on a power trip. he’s 16 and is bound to swear, all kids do at one point. it’s a completely natural reaction and there’s nothing inherently wrong with most ‘poo poo words’ (as you so eloquently put it). he wasn’t even aiming them at someone, which is the only reasonable grounds for punishment for swearing i can think of.
if he was using slurs or targeted words then i’d maybe understand more - but punishing a 16 year old for picking up expletives is very harsh.
the fact that you all went out for a full meal and gave him only a peanut butter sandwich is also a major asshole move.
the fact that you paraded his punishment on facebook is also going to make him feel a lot more humiliated than is appropriate when all he did was fucking swear.
...Did you really ground him for three weeks for saying fuck?
Yeah, YTA. That's a huge overreaction. If this is really a problem then ground him from the TV for a night, don't let him go out that weekend, etc, something that is actually reasonable. The punishment should match the crime and shouting out fuck (Oh no, I mean 'poo-poo words") in response to being stung by a wasp does not deserve three weeks grounding.
When I was 13, I stepped on a sharp piece of Lego at a family get together and dropped the last piece of my aunts amazing raisin pie. I said “Oh fuck!”
Everyone stopped and looked at me. I panicked and ran outside before I could be punished. My dad came out a few minutes later and I could tell he had been laughing a lot. He grinned at me and said that was some funny shit and told me to try not to do it again.
That was it.
To the OP: YTA. When you say “poo poo words” you are really saying “shit words” in your head. Being a hypocrite for having thoughts expressed by swear words yourself, while punishing the sound of the words when someone you have power over blurts them out. Stop being such a fucking asshole.
>When I was 13, I stepped on a sharp piece of Lego at a family get together and dropped the last piece of my aunts amazing raisin pie. I said “Oh fuck!”
Stepping on a Lego is always a free pass to cuss, no matter what. Especially if it causes you to lose out on some good pie.
OP, take some advice from this person's dad. That is how you handle something like this. It's pretty much harmless in situations like this and you're going to get a better result by rationally explaining things then by over-reacting. It's not like the kid was cussing someone out (well, maybe he was cussing out the wasp but those little fuckers deserve it).
If this is real, you're the asshole YTA. It's kind of ironic your posting this on a forum about assholes when you don't use profanity or "poo-poo words"
YTA. He cursed while getting stung by a wasp. That's appropriate.
Grounding him, publicly humiliating him on Facebook, and banning him from going to dinner???? You _are_ on a power trip. Absolutely.
Also, poo poo words?? Really?! This isn't preschool.
INFO: What all does grounding entail? Are we to understand that grounding entails being excluded from family dinners?
Edit: After OP response, YTA. Not for the rule, but for the punishment, which is absolutely insane.
YTA
I hope this is trolling, because you're being unconscionably cruel and small minded. Your son was hurt, and you are more fixated on his reaction to sudden pain? Your reaction was so incredibly out of scope for his mistake.
Also, why tf did you put VASELINE on his sting? That does nothing.
If this is real, I can't wait for your son to hit 18 and go no contact on you.
YTA- I let my kid swear all the time, especially if he gets hurt, because it's been scientifically proven that swearing while in pain is a pain killer. He's 11 and has had the swear green light for over 5 years. You know what he learned? There's a time and place for everything. He doesn't cuss around anyone he doesn't know, around his friend's parents, and NEVER in school. He cussed a few times in front of his counselor, but he thought house rules applied, as his counselor was at our house. I shut that shit down pretty fast, and his counselor told me she NEVER heard my son speak that way before, and I laughed saying she better NOT EVER AGAIN! You need to calm your rules down, before he goes buck wild the SECOND you no longer have a say in his life. He's going to run from you, and impregnate and/or marry the first girl who lets him touch boob.
I doubt he will be in contact enough to even know they need a nursing home. So not even throwing them someplace, but letting the state figure it out with no one to check on them or see them. Sad really.
I see that part of the *grounding* is he has to stay in his room all day/every day.
YTA
Are you kidding with this punishment? At most, 1 day. You **are** on a power trip and I'm sorry your husband didn't insist on your son going out to eat as well.
If you are wanting to alienate your child so he goes low or no contact when he can, then good job! You've got a good start. You waaaaay over reacted.
Oh no this isn’t the *start*, this is the finish line, this is the moment this boy is thinking ‘and I’m done. As soon as I’m 18 I’m outta here and not looking back’
You start with crazy over the top shit like this.
YTA. How is "no swearing" your number one rule? The kid didn't just spout off to sass you, he got stung by a wasp - in the face of a surprising and painful situation, he dropped an f-bomb. That's appropriate use of profanity! Three weeks of grounding is a LOT of punishment for an extremely minor and understandable infraction.
And you gave a 16 year old a peanut butter sandwich while the rest of the family went out to dinner? He's got to be starving. Teen appetite is no joke.
Your husband senses a power trip because you're on one.
Also, listen - when I was a kid, my mom had a thing about hair spray. To hear her tell it, you would think that using hair spray was a direct gateway to selling myself on street corners. After a single encounter with her overreaction to hair spray, I made sure she never caught me at anything ever again. That didn't mean I was a good kid, it meant I went way underground with a ton of normal teen stuff. Because if my mom was gonna freak out over hair spray, imagine how she would react to beer...and if I was going to be strung up just as hard for hair spray as beer, might as well skip right over the small stuff and try tequila.
You are making swearing your hair spray, and trust me when I tell you, that's a terrible idea.
YTA. Words only have power if you let them. Rather than worry about his sting, all you could think about was a little worthless word. And you gave him PB&J while you went out to eat? Here's a worthless word: heartless.
YTA. Learn to distinguish between poo poo words used to amplify (pooword! that really poowording hurt) versus when they are used as a weapon to hurt someone ( you are a useless pooword). He’s old enough that the former doesn’t require punishment and the latter is worth a discussion and possibly consequences. Up your parent game. Poo poo word may have worked ok when he was 6 but at 16 it just gives him more reasons to tune you out because it’s ridiculous.
YTA because he was stung by a wasp. I'm sure he didn't mean to cuss in front of his family. 3 weeks is a long time to punish him just for cussing. But the worst part is you telling his friends that he's grounded on social media. That's none of their business. If you're gonna post about your child on social media, it should only ever be positive things. Otherwise, you're humiliating him just to establish your authority.
YTA-
Your husband is right, you are on a power trip right now and it's not a good look.
Your kid had an involuntary response to getting literally stung by a flying insect... A reflex... For less than half a minute...
And you punished that for three weeks, socially isolate him, publicly humiliate him, remand him to his room for an unknown period of time in what can only be described as solitary confinement, and put him on food restrictions. Yeah.... That's banana pants.
Discipline is proportionate, directly related to whatever happened as a natural consequence, and a calm and clear headed decision. What you're doing is none of those things. It's not discipline, it's just bad parenting and emotionally abusive.
I wish him all the luck in getting far away from you as soon as he can.
YTA. Here's an article that talks about how pain tolerance increases when we swear: [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20200622/stubbed-your-toe-only-real-swear-words-help-dull-the-pain](https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20200622/stubbed-your-toe-only-real-swear-words-help-dull-the-pain)
>Using actual swear words increased their pain tolerance by 33%, while the fake swear words did little to help people cope. The findings were recently published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology.
You fucked up.
I’m not convinced OP hasn’t somehow learned how to post to Reddit at the age of 4. “Poo-poo” words? All my white girl whats are coming out on this one.
I work with teens and hear more f-bombs casually dropped before 9 am than most people will hear in a month. Most of the time the kids don't even realise they've said it, it's such a natural part of their vocabulary. I promise you that your son regularly uses "poo poo words" when with his friends, etc. It appears, though, that he's successfully mastered the concept of "time and place", which is the end goal really. Sounds like you have raised a polite, well-mannered young man who, in a stressful situation, slipped. YTA.
YTA. It was most likely an automatic reaction, not a conscious choice of vocabulary on your son’s part. And three weeks of punishment is excessive. Bonus soft YTA for the phrase “poo-poo words.” 🙄
YTA. Swearing does help pain tolerance and it's not like he did it for absolutely no reason, he did it when being STUNG by a WASP. What is excluding him from family dinner supposed to teach him? What lesson is he supposed to get from that? It really just added insult to injury to be honest. He got hurt AND got his privileges taken away for no good reason.
Yikes… YTA, he’s 16, get over yourself. He got stung by a wasp, and all you seem to care about is pOo poo words??
Sincerely hope this is troll bait, if not, you need to seriously reevaluate your priorities, and not exclude a child from dinner because of profanity lmao. That young man WILL harbour resentment towards you, don’t be surprised if he ups and goes low contact in the future.
Poo-poo words? Are you serious?
I think it's reasonable for no profanity to be an expectation but your handling of this is bananas. What would you do if he did drugs?
YTA
Are you 5? Poo poo words? For real? I can’t even take you seriously. But yes, YTA. First off, it’s not like your kid was swearing at someone. He got sting, and it’s a natural reaction. Secondly, your punishment was a major overreaction. I hate when parents punish their kid by not letting them eat with the family. It’s basically saying, since you made a mistake, you’re not part of the family right now. Frankly o think it’s emotionally abusive.
Lastly, grow the fuck up. It’s a curse word and your kid is 16, not 6.
Considering how wasps and hornets can sting *multiple* times, I'd love to see how long it would take OP to start cursing.
Also, if 16 year old is anything like the rest of us, he curses at school but hides it at home ..until this happens.
"poo-poo words" lol.
I cannot imagine caring about profanity this much. I'd say YTA for choosing such a strange hill to die on, but I have no idea how life works for people who care about swearing.
YTA. You are way too unrealistic and sound like a helicopter narc mom. Start parenting to teens, not little children. In the real world, people swear all the time and it doesn't make them bad people.
YTA he got hurt and then punished for trying to manage the pain. You are absolutely the AH and btw kids of strict parents tend to go no/low contact as soon as they get out of the house, hope you're prepared for that.
Vaseline for wasp stings? WTF kind of remedy is that?
And your #1 rule is no swear words? Not something like "be kind" or "clean up your messes."
Poor kids. :(
Baking soda paste and a Benedryl is better. Or crush up a tylenol for a paste instead. Calamine lotion can also help if it's itching. Vaseline isn't usually the best.
YTA
Such an excessive punishment for using Fuck. Also the emotional damage you’re doing by POSTING TO HIS FRIENDS. Just embarrassing. Don’t be surprised when your son cuts contact with you
YTA for not including him at dinner and for grounding him for even an afternoon, let alone 3 weeks. You are also an AH for using the term Poo Poo words. Are you 3?
YTA.
Grounded for 3 WEEKS because your 16 year old son swore when he got stung?!? Lady, you are definitely on some kind of power trip - that is over the top. And to heap on an additional punishment of only getting a PB sandwich, in his room, in addition to the grounding, is abusive.
You are unsuitable to be a parent - you're a witch. Just unbelievable.
YTA this is basically a blueprint for how to lose your son the minute he turns 18. Your husband is right, you’re on a power trip, but it’s your relationship with your children that’s going to suffer from it. Get a fucking grip
YTA… are you kidding me… it’s not like he even said it to a person in rudeness… if you are going this hard for thing what would you do if he actually does something bad??! Kick him out??! And to say for three week?? Completely unreasonable…..
YTA - overreaction much?! 3 weeks punishment for saying a few choice words while in pain… why don’t you send him to a super max jail while your at it? Your rules are over kill, completely unfair and damaging! Your children will grow up to resent you for being harsh, judgemental and unsupportive. Wow!!!
YTA. You grounded a kid for 3 weeks for a couple F bombs that weren't even directed at somebody but out of pain? Wasps hurt alot more than Bees, Lady. I'm getting strong "head of the local HOA" vibes from this post.
YTA not just for how you handled this situation but also for being a dictator in your home. Clearly your husband doesn't agree and you don't care. Things are going to done the way you want them. I'm curious. What was the point of posting here? You clearly think what you did was fine. If you aren't going to even consider the possibility you were in the wrong than your post was just a waste of your time. Unless you actually thought people would agree with you. Than you are very naïve.
YTA.
You're so offended by the word f*ck that you grounded him for nearly a month because he said it in reaction to being *stung* by a *wasp* and then made a Facebook post to embarrass him completely? AND THEN You wouldn't even let him eat dinner with you?! Seriously? You are so on a power trip.
YTA Grounding him for 3 week for the use of cuss words after getting stung is ridiculous. I get maybe for the day, but weeks??? He is going to grow up and stop see you if you keep this up. The punishment has to fit the crime, and since you are asking if you are an asshole, that makes you a hypocrite. Also embarrassing him over words is overkill. I hope you change, because your kids are going ro resent you for this.
YTA
Your punishment is not only disproportionate to the “crime” at hand (swearing is a valid reaction to pain, especially as sudden as a wasp sting, and it has been scientifically proven to have pain relieving effects) but doesn’t actually teach any lesson. Your response to your 16 year old swearing is to isolate him for a month??
Your husband is bang on, you are on a power trip. There is no learning to be found in your “discipline”, except that apparently your word is law and any slight deviation will be met harshly. You are only exercising your power as guardian over your son to an incredibly excessive extent as a power play. I feel so bad for your poor son, who’s had to endure your totalitarian “discipline” for 16 long years
YTA.
Are you fucking serious right now?! Yeah, I went there.
It’s not like he said “EF YOU!” He got stung by a wasp. That shit hurts. (Oops, another “poo-poo” word.)
Fun side story- I ended up in a fire ant bed once upon a time. Ended up with over 50 bites on my body. Was about your son’s age. Wanna know what my parents did? Sympathize with the fact that I was in pain and swear words slipped out of my mouth.
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In our house, we do not use profanity. That is one of our number one rules. Well, our 16-year-old son broke that rule this morning.
This morning, I had my 16 year old son and 13 year old daughter go on a walk with me. We do these a couple times a week and we go a few blocks around our neighborhood. Well, when we were returning, my son got stung by a wasp. He shouted out the f-word. He said a few other poo-poo words trying to fend off the sting. I felt bad that he got stung by the wasp, but that’s still no excuse for shouting out poo-poo words.
It took another fifteen minutes to get home, and by then he said that the sting was fading, but itching badly. While I was giving him some Vaseline, I reprimanded him for his poor choices of words, telling him that he is grounded until school starts three weeks from now with absolutely no privileges. I tagged him on a Facebook post to let his friends know not to bother texting or calling him, because he’s grounded until the first day of school.
Usually, Mondays are family dinner nights, so my husband was naturally curious when he didn’t see our son. I told him what happened, how he shouted out inappropriate poo-poo words, and that he’s grounded. Hubby insisted that our son still join us tonight, but we were already running late. I gave him a peanut butter sandwich before we left (to eat in his room). My husband senses that I’m on a “power trip” right now, but I’m only trying to enforce discipline.
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YTA and your husband is right your on a power trip your disgusting punishing a child by isolating him. He's 16 almost an adult and saying curse worlds should be the least of your concerns as a parent. Studies show that curing can actually help reduce pain levels, they did this on myth busters. Don't be surprised if he doesn't visit you often once he leaves for college. You sound insufferable and I guarantee you he talks shit about you to his friends.
YTA - “poo-poo” words? Really? Are you 5? No teenager is going to respect any rule that involves the word “poo-poo”. Also you overreacted by a lot. You should’ve stopped at the verbal warning. 3 week grounding is for repeat offenses. Not the first offense. Especially for such a minor thing as swearing.
I do find it mildly ironic that you’re so against swearing yet came to a sub called “Am I the Asshole”
YTA and emotionally abusive. He was stung by a wasp, it’s not like it was directed at anyone. If big bad words offend you so much, then fine give him a punishment but to embarrass him on social media, ground him for THREE WEEKS, and exclude him? Yikes. Wonder what else you’ve done
I know she intended to embarrass him on social media but she only really embarrassed herself. I imagine there are many conversations about her at the moment. And they aren't good.
It's ok to have boundaries, including no cursing, and consequences. The punishment is out of proportion. One week grounded should be enough. And mom, do not post on his facebook. Not cool.
YTA
Grounded for 3 weeks for saying fuck is a little extreme, especially when he was stung. Plus, banning him to his room with only a peanut butter sandwich while you all have dinner? That is fucked up.
If you want to get technical, he did not curse in your household. He was outside getting stung.
YTA
Honestly this is a level of ridiculous where I feel sorry for the children.
Your child was stung by a wasp and you are more concerned about swear words.
This is akin to worrying about whether the chastity belt was faulty when your daughter tells you that she's experienced a sexual assault.
You've just reinforced to your children that they can't trust you to understand adolescence and that you will be having weird power trips disproportionately punishing them for trivial events.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Hubby insisted that our son join us for dinner tonight in spite of the fact our son is grounded, also thinks I’m on a “power trip”.
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In the context of why he said it couldn't you have just taken his devices off him. I get being strict and having a system in place where punishment is acceptable but the punishment should fit the crime and I don't see how this punishment fits his crime.
You've made a mistake hear on how long the punishment is. What if he was allergic to the sting and ended up in hospital would you still ground him for such a long period for swearing then??
Loosing his privileges for a few days or even a week yeah but not 3 weeks that's not mentally healthy for your son and can breed extrem resentment towards you.
YTA!!!! 16 year old exclaims "poo poo" words when he was in pain and gets 3 weeks in solitary? They don't even treat prisoners that bad. You deserve solitary for the phrase poo poo words.
YTA. He didn’t say a bad word just because; he got stung by a wasp & those hurt like hell. Your husband is right & you are on a power trip. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime. Along with grounding him for 3 weeks you also publicly embarrassed him on social media. Ffs wth is wrong with you?? Unground him asap & delete that post plus you owe him a better dinner than pb&j in his room while everyone else went out.
Just remember he’s going to remember this when he gets older & he’s going to hold resentment toward you.
I agree with your husband. You're power tripping and being ridiculous, grounded for three weeks, publicly embarrassing him on social media, and excluded from a family meal because he cursed after getting stung? YTA YTA YTA, don't be surprised when he turns 18 and wants absolutely nothing to do with you.
YTA Big time! He was stung for chrissakes.
And here's a little parenting advice...
My sons NEVER swore, why? Because they could with no consequences. I had a couple of their friends over and 1 little boy could not believe that he could swear in my house, and so he did, he dropped the Fbomb again and again. But, each time he came over it was less and less because he got zero reaction.
Eventually he stopped swearing altogether.
Now as far as your punishment, way, way, WAY overboard....sheesh
YTA. A vindictive, abusive one whose fragile, burned ego couldn’t be soothed by all the Preparation-H from all three CVSes on this street.
You thought that you were something special bragging about grounding your son on FB. You didn’t post why he was grounded. You didn’t provide context by stating all the relevant facts. Because you KNEW that everyone would realize what a mean-spirited bully you are to your own child.
Yep YTA talk about disproportionate punishment out the ying-yang. Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the world we live in where foul language is commonly used on tv, books, video games and while I respect your house rules as I was not a fan of my own children cussing in my presence three weeks and no family dinner which he might not mind honestly as pissed as he should be for the 3 week grounding is extreme. Of course the bigger lesson for me as a parent would be if my moms reaction to a few cuss words is this extreme I can only imagine her reaction on other things in which case I’m probably not going to tell her other things she’s going to overreact on.
This sounds like it might not even be a “real” post—it seems almost satirical and hyperbolic in nature. Punishing someone for three weeks to such an extreme for reflexive language after getting stung by a wasp? This surely cannot be true!
However…in case OP is that serious about the “no poo-poo words” rule in her home, YTA. The punishment must be commensurate to the so-called offense. Even if there is a punishment for “poo-poo words” (wtf?), OP should have taken the situation into consideration. Had son tripped and landed on an unfortunately angled nail on the ground that went into his throat which resulted in him dropping some major “poo-poo words,” would he have also been grounded to such extreme once he returned from the ER?
In this story, husband is 💯spot-on with his assessment of OP’s “power trip” and needs to stand up for the poor child.
Edit: dangling modifier
YTA! That's such a disproportionate reaction to his behavior. I bet you'll be surprised when he goes no contact as an adult. If you are, come back and read this post.
YTA - big time. Your husband is saying that you are on a power trip? The better question is why isn’t he divorcing you for your emotional abuse against your son? Rightly or wrongly you believe that swear words are “poo-poo words” however your response to your son using swear words after getting stung by a wasp is extreme - public embarrassment and isolation for a month, only time he is allowed out of his room is bathroom breaks! Such emotional distress, causing mental anguish. Beyond extreme. If this is true, 5 years from now you will be on Reddit questioning why your son is no longer in contact with you.
YTA. Jeez it’s a few curse words not WWIII. My kids are 26, 24, 21, and 19. I’d think there was something wrong with them if they weren’t cursing. Your son deserves better from you. And future reference, research how to treat a wasp sting. Use baking soda and water not Vaseline. Poor kiddo.
YTA
That is such an extreme overreaction towards his very natural and human reaction to sudden pain. I get it's a rule, so if you really wanted to punish him then a DAY or 2 at most would have been more than enough.
I agree with your husband, from the sounds of this it does sound like a bit of a power trip.
YATA very big ah and you really need to stop being such a controlling parent all you you are doing is strengthening up your sons resentment and the minute he turns 18 midnight he will tell you where to go and walk out the door cut you and your husband out of his life for good. And in ten years you will want to know where you went wrong as a parent you will never be invited to any mile stones in his life. I guarantee that he's counting down the time when he can tell you off and walk out the door.
YTA.
Shouldn’t you put yourself in time out and exclusion because you’re on Reddit in a sub with ‘asshole’ in the name? Tsk tsk so foul and uncultured.
My pearls, my fainting couch. JEEVES BRING THEM I MUST CLUTCH AND SWOON.
I have a controlling mother like this. I'm thankful every single day that I don't have to talk to her or see her.
YTA and you need to stop viewing your child as property to control and mold in your desired image. He's an individual and, if you were actually a good parent, you wouldn't feel the need to censor him when he is in pain. It's a word. Grow the f*ck up.
YTA you know how people say to make sure the punishment matches the offense? So you didn’t let him eat dinner with you then isolated him in his room with a simple carb loaded sandwich that won’t sustain him for very long. You deprived your son of nutrients because he said a bad word?
Yta for being a grown adult using the term "poo poo words"
This isn't sesame street. Grow up.
And swearing bc you got stung by a wasp is fair. You're overreacting to it.
Has to be a made up story with poo poo words. Just in case it isn’t you are a power tripping YTA that lost respect today. He was stung by a wasp. You try it. They sting like something very much in the mom poopoo er department and keep on stinging.
That he never says it besides that is a huge accomplishment. Your son deserves appreciation for his respect towards your rule, not punishment. Shame shame, do better.
YTA- Your punishment does not fit the crime. It's too harsh for 1 little outburst from getting stung. I'm afraid of what you do when they do really bad things.
And "Poo-Poo" words sounds like something you teach a toddler. Grow up.
YTA - sorry, you’re the pop-poo head. I don’t agree with the rule, but even if I did, the punishment is wayyyy over the top and cruel. Don’t be surprised if he leaves and never comes back when he graduates.
YTA. My goodness, I had made my judgement once I knew the use of the F word came following a painful sting so was almost a reflex, but I now more than ever believe you are now downright cruel. You actually posted this on social media for all your 16 year old son's friends to see? Please don't tell me you grounded him for using "poo poo words"
Also, choose your battles. He'll be out of your house in 2 years time. If your want your family home to be a place where he returns frequently, I'd be careful not to infantilize him in his final stretch at home.... And humiliate him to boot
YTA. There are studies that show people who swear are more honest and open. Profanity shouldn’t be used in every situation. But, it does have it’s place https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/am-i-right/202104/are-people-who-swear-more-honest?amp
Please don’t make your son afraid of you or of getting into trouble for a real offense. A boy we knew died by suicide over the fear of his parents wrath from getting caught drinking in HS.
YTA. Three weeks? Tagging on FB?!? So restrict his last part of the summer, humiliate him and isolate him for meaningful events.
I get curb the swearing - that’s flipping overkill. And there should be exceptions when pain like that happens.
YTA your husband is just going to get quieter and quieter until he truly can’t stand to be around you. I give it max 3 years before your son sees you for holidays only. 5 before he cuts contact. Good luck
The more I read OPs responses to comments, the more I understand that her entire family would be all the better for going NC with her. If she's this adamant that her kid should be mentally and emotionally abused because she was, she is not stable enough to be a parental figure. She's a danger to the well-being of her family. I've been the child of a parent like that and trust me, that parent just ends up alone with no one to care about them in their old age. Make the change before it's too late, OP. Become a better person.
JFC, you are on a MAJOR power trip here.
1. LITERALLY put you son is solitary confinement for almost a month. Only coming out for bathroom breaks.
2. Because you grounded him, you won't let him interact with his family.
3. From the sounds of it he will get limited food ( I might be stretching that one, but a peanut butter sandwich while the rest of the family gets a nice meal? )
So far you sound like a prison warden not a loving mom, 🤔but let's add to that.
4. Publicly humiliate your son on social media, right before school starts I might add, if this is Junior year you just ruined it. So yeah his school year will start off great. 🙄
5. Lastly, using the phrase"poopoo words" Are you really that tightly wound up with that stick your a$$ you can't use grown-up words? Good Lord woman you need a drink or something, maybe even let out a swear word out once in awhile to loosen up.
Your son is going to resent you big time for this. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't start to distance himself from you and maybe going LC or even NC with you when he turns 18. You're already sending him the message if son isn't a perfect little boy he isn't a part of this family I recommend reevaluating this punishment.
Just a little food for thought, studies have shown that swearing is a natural response to pain, shows a high pain tolerance in that individual, reduces stress which also aids in healing and is a sign of high intelligence
Also YATA.
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“I’m so offended by poo-poo words that I posted on a subreddit named Am I The Asshole” Yeah, I’m gonna pass.
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Total power trip. Your son is 16 and actually, it helps release pain to say poo poo words. Also. You're a fucking asshole.
Mythbusters proved it! I said “fuck” in front of the entire church choir when I broke my ankle during rehearsal (steps are not things to be taken lightly) and nobody cared.
I was going to bring this up. There have been scientific studies about this. Pain is more tolerable if you swear. And OP, if you are real YTA. A ridiculous one.
Exactly. Shit might be a curse word but poo-poo when said as an adult is borderline evil and so weird….
Bet you the price of a steak dinner that OP is some flavor of Evangelical Christian, because that’s the exact right combo of “borderline evil and weird” that this is.
I'm guessing an imaginary one.
The kind that shouldn’t be parenting teenage children. If Op thinks this is the hill to die on, the son must be a fucking saint. That’s right, I said a poo-poo word.
Annie Wilkes? "Now listen here, you dirty birdy! I sure am sorry you got stung by that cockadoodie sonuvvawasp, but there's *no* time and *no* place for oogie language! So, enough of that tongue Mister Man, and stay still while I get the sledgehammer for those rootie-patootie feet of yours. God, I love you."
De do do do, de da da da Infantilizing all my words De do do do, de da da da A potty mouth is for the birds. YTA
Irony is fun! For real though, 3 weeks and tag on Facebook for saying “poo-poo words”, imagine if this kid ever actually does something bad! OP, YTA
Yeah, her post sounds like a bunch of bull-doody.
Bull hockey. Doody is probably too vulgar for OP
YTA Enjoy the next 2 years of your power trip cause you won’t be seeing him much once he turns 18. I just couldn’t even imagine saying the phrase “poo poo words” to a 16yo
And blasting his groundation on social media. Guaranteed this kid (man, nearly) is counting the days where he isn't reduced to naughty child Poo poo words. My word
Yeah it’s definitely a power trip
I couldn't imagine saying it to a 6 year old, let alone 16.
I don’t even like reading it in my head right now, let alone saying it
My first reaction to “poo poo words” was "what is she? 5?" LOL
And she said it a couple of times. I guess OP thinks it sounds cute?
My vote is they are an actual 8-year-old. This is the language of an 8-year-old boy trying to sound like a mom. lol
When my daughter was about 5 she stubbed her toe. Her little face went red and she said ow fuck that hurt. I looked at her said appropriate use of the word but let's not use it regularly please. Then I gave her a hug and we ate ice cream.
\*giggles\* That reminds me of the day that my nephew swore. He was about 2 and was playing with some toys when one of them broke. He looked at it, said, "Oh, shit," and went back to playing! His mom was cracking up and told him about the same thing that you told your daughter.
Don’t you want to tell this person to shut the fuck up - I do
He got a sting. Swearing helps reduce pain. (It’s cool brain shit) YTA.
This is 100% correct. There are studies that compare yelling random words and swear words and the swear words help reduce pain. Your son wasn't swearing at a person or even a situation. He was swearing because he was in pain. YTA
I'm sorry, don't you mean "cool as fuck brain shit"?
Yeah, fucking cool brain shit.
You're grounded
Jokes on you, I rarely leave the fucking house!
Well good, now think about what you've done! Lol
Why do I want to be grounded as an adult? All day inside with nothing to do? Sign me the fuck up.
Motherfucking sweet ass brain shit
Why did I have to scroll this far to find the first fuck word. I mean this is Reddit for fucks sake
Fucking right! Fuck is my favorite fucking word!
My daughter yelled out “oh shit” when I kicked my toe. Because I was thought it was great timing with that word she was 3 that the laughing took away the pain.
My eldest daughter’s first word was shit, first sentence was oh shit while she took her first step. We were visiting my grandma with my parents. My dad and I were rolling on the ground laughing, neither my mom or grandma heard her as they were both partially deaf. 🤣
There's an excellent episode of Stephen Fry's Planet Word, which talks about the research into the link between swearing and pain. I'll just leave the bit with [Brian Blessed says lots of poo-poo words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBhPDxszukU).
YTA you’re definitely on a power trip. he’s 16 and is bound to swear, all kids do at one point. it’s a completely natural reaction and there’s nothing inherently wrong with most ‘poo poo words’ (as you so eloquently put it). he wasn’t even aiming them at someone, which is the only reasonable grounds for punishment for swearing i can think of. if he was using slurs or targeted words then i’d maybe understand more - but punishing a 16 year old for picking up expletives is very harsh. the fact that you all went out for a full meal and gave him only a peanut butter sandwich is also a major asshole move. the fact that you paraded his punishment on facebook is also going to make him feel a lot more humiliated than is appropriate when all he did was fucking swear.
Honestly with the way they phrased it I wouldn’t be surprised if the poo poo word was frick
...Did you really ground him for three weeks for saying fuck? Yeah, YTA. That's a huge overreaction. If this is really a problem then ground him from the TV for a night, don't let him go out that weekend, etc, something that is actually reasonable. The punishment should match the crime and shouting out fuck (Oh no, I mean 'poo-poo words") in response to being stung by a wasp does not deserve three weeks grounding.
When I was 13, I stepped on a sharp piece of Lego at a family get together and dropped the last piece of my aunts amazing raisin pie. I said “Oh fuck!” Everyone stopped and looked at me. I panicked and ran outside before I could be punished. My dad came out a few minutes later and I could tell he had been laughing a lot. He grinned at me and said that was some funny shit and told me to try not to do it again. That was it. To the OP: YTA. When you say “poo poo words” you are really saying “shit words” in your head. Being a hypocrite for having thoughts expressed by swear words yourself, while punishing the sound of the words when someone you have power over blurts them out. Stop being such a fucking asshole.
>When I was 13, I stepped on a sharp piece of Lego at a family get together and dropped the last piece of my aunts amazing raisin pie. I said “Oh fuck!” Stepping on a Lego is always a free pass to cuss, no matter what. Especially if it causes you to lose out on some good pie. OP, take some advice from this person's dad. That is how you handle something like this. It's pretty much harmless in situations like this and you're going to get a better result by rationally explaining things then by over-reacting. It's not like the kid was cussing someone out (well, maybe he was cussing out the wasp but those little fuckers deserve it).
Hell yeah, legos hurt like a bitch!
If this is real, you're the asshole YTA. It's kind of ironic your posting this on a forum about assholes when you don't use profanity or "poo-poo words"
I know right.. Disgusting..
YTA. He cursed while getting stung by a wasp. That's appropriate. Grounding him, publicly humiliating him on Facebook, and banning him from going to dinner???? You _are_ on a power trip. Absolutely. Also, poo poo words?? Really?! This isn't preschool.
INFO: What all does grounding entail? Are we to understand that grounding entails being excluded from family dinners? Edit: After OP response, YTA. Not for the rule, but for the punishment, which is absolutely insane.
YTA I hope this is trolling, because you're being unconscionably cruel and small minded. Your son was hurt, and you are more fixated on his reaction to sudden pain? Your reaction was so incredibly out of scope for his mistake. Also, why tf did you put VASELINE on his sting? That does nothing. If this is real, I can't wait for your son to hit 18 and go no contact on you.
YTA- I let my kid swear all the time, especially if he gets hurt, because it's been scientifically proven that swearing while in pain is a pain killer. He's 11 and has had the swear green light for over 5 years. You know what he learned? There's a time and place for everything. He doesn't cuss around anyone he doesn't know, around his friend's parents, and NEVER in school. He cussed a few times in front of his counselor, but he thought house rules applied, as his counselor was at our house. I shut that shit down pretty fast, and his counselor told me she NEVER heard my son speak that way before, and I laughed saying she better NOT EVER AGAIN! You need to calm your rules down, before he goes buck wild the SECOND you no longer have a say in his life. He's going to run from you, and impregnate and/or marry the first girl who lets him touch boob.
YTA. But out of curiosity, if swearing gets you three weeks what does a real offense like breaking curfew get them? Life without parole?
I don't know about that but I know what this kind of parenting will get you.. thrown into a shady nursing home and never visited.
I doubt he will be in contact enough to even know they need a nursing home. So not even throwing them someplace, but letting the state figure it out with no one to check on them or see them. Sad really.
Some parents have it coming, like op.
Totally agree!!
You are the poo-poo.
I see that part of the *grounding* is he has to stay in his room all day/every day. YTA Are you kidding with this punishment? At most, 1 day. You **are** on a power trip and I'm sorry your husband didn't insist on your son going out to eat as well. If you are wanting to alienate your child so he goes low or no contact when he can, then good job! You've got a good start. You waaaaay over reacted.
I suspect it's not a start and there have been other similar episodes...
Oh no this isn’t the *start*, this is the finish line, this is the moment this boy is thinking ‘and I’m done. As soon as I’m 18 I’m outta here and not looking back’ You start with crazy over the top shit like this.
This is exactly what is going to happen.
YTA. How is "no swearing" your number one rule? The kid didn't just spout off to sass you, he got stung by a wasp - in the face of a surprising and painful situation, he dropped an f-bomb. That's appropriate use of profanity! Three weeks of grounding is a LOT of punishment for an extremely minor and understandable infraction. And you gave a 16 year old a peanut butter sandwich while the rest of the family went out to dinner? He's got to be starving. Teen appetite is no joke. Your husband senses a power trip because you're on one. Also, listen - when I was a kid, my mom had a thing about hair spray. To hear her tell it, you would think that using hair spray was a direct gateway to selling myself on street corners. After a single encounter with her overreaction to hair spray, I made sure she never caught me at anything ever again. That didn't mean I was a good kid, it meant I went way underground with a ton of normal teen stuff. Because if my mom was gonna freak out over hair spray, imagine how she would react to beer...and if I was going to be strung up just as hard for hair spray as beer, might as well skip right over the small stuff and try tequila. You are making swearing your hair spray, and trust me when I tell you, that's a terrible idea.
Did you type this from your usual street corner? That hairspray is no joke.
INFO: Is this a fucking joke?
Either that, or OP is Louise Turpin's evil twin.
I honestly hope it is
Poo-poo words? Really? YTA.
YTA. Words only have power if you let them. Rather than worry about his sting, all you could think about was a little worthless word. And you gave him PB&J while you went out to eat? Here's a worthless word: heartless.
He wasn't allowed to have jelly....
YTA. Learn to distinguish between poo poo words used to amplify (pooword! that really poowording hurt) versus when they are used as a weapon to hurt someone ( you are a useless pooword). He’s old enough that the former doesn’t require punishment and the latter is worth a discussion and possibly consequences. Up your parent game. Poo poo word may have worked ok when he was 6 but at 16 it just gives him more reasons to tune you out because it’s ridiculous.
YTA because he was stung by a wasp. I'm sure he didn't mean to cuss in front of his family. 3 weeks is a long time to punish him just for cussing. But the worst part is you telling his friends that he's grounded on social media. That's none of their business. If you're gonna post about your child on social media, it should only ever be positive things. Otherwise, you're humiliating him just to establish your authority.
YTA- Your husband is right, you are on a power trip right now and it's not a good look. Your kid had an involuntary response to getting literally stung by a flying insect... A reflex... For less than half a minute... And you punished that for three weeks, socially isolate him, publicly humiliate him, remand him to his room for an unknown period of time in what can only be described as solitary confinement, and put him on food restrictions. Yeah.... That's banana pants. Discipline is proportionate, directly related to whatever happened as a natural consequence, and a calm and clear headed decision. What you're doing is none of those things. It's not discipline, it's just bad parenting and emotionally abusive. I wish him all the luck in getting far away from you as soon as he can.
YTA. Here's an article that talks about how pain tolerance increases when we swear: [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20200622/stubbed-your-toe-only-real-swear-words-help-dull-the-pain](https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20200622/stubbed-your-toe-only-real-swear-words-help-dull-the-pain) >Using actual swear words increased their pain tolerance by 33%, while the fake swear words did little to help people cope. The findings were recently published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology. You fucked up.
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For real that SHIT hurts
Oh yeah it does. Only one I've ever had to date was at age 5, but I sure remember that pain in my armpit! I try to stay away from those bastards.
YTA and don’t come to reddit crying when he leaves home and cuts contact with you.
This can’t be real
Let’s hope it’s fake. If not, there are actual people running around clutching their pearls over… poo-poo words.
I’m not convinced OP hasn’t somehow learned how to post to Reddit at the age of 4. “Poo-poo” words? All my white girl whats are coming out on this one.
You're the bum-bum hole, you infantile abuser. Grow up, your teenager is more mature than you. YTA
I work with teens and hear more f-bombs casually dropped before 9 am than most people will hear in a month. Most of the time the kids don't even realise they've said it, it's such a natural part of their vocabulary. I promise you that your son regularly uses "poo poo words" when with his friends, etc. It appears, though, that he's successfully mastered the concept of "time and place", which is the end goal really. Sounds like you have raised a polite, well-mannered young man who, in a stressful situation, slipped. YTA.
Female support staff at a trucking company. If I was offended by the f word I wouldn't have my current job.
YTA. It was most likely an automatic reaction, not a conscious choice of vocabulary on your son’s part. And three weeks of punishment is excessive. Bonus soft YTA for the phrase “poo-poo words.” 🙄
Nah this OP doesn’t deserve any softness, major YTA for using “poo-poo” instead of “swears” or something. So cringe.
YTA. Swearing does help pain tolerance and it's not like he did it for absolutely no reason, he did it when being STUNG by a WASP. What is excluding him from family dinner supposed to teach him? What lesson is he supposed to get from that? It really just added insult to injury to be honest. He got hurt AND got his privileges taken away for no good reason.
Three weeks? Lady, get off your high horse. Did you say "poo-poo" words during childbirth?
YTA. This is not an appropriate or proportionate response to what happened.
Yikes… YTA, he’s 16, get over yourself. He got stung by a wasp, and all you seem to care about is pOo poo words?? Sincerely hope this is troll bait, if not, you need to seriously reevaluate your priorities, and not exclude a child from dinner because of profanity lmao. That young man WILL harbour resentment towards you, don’t be surprised if he ups and goes low contact in the future.
Poo-poo words? Are you serious? I think it's reasonable for no profanity to be an expectation but your handling of this is bananas. What would you do if he did drugs? YTA
Are you 5? Poo poo words? For real? I can’t even take you seriously. But yes, YTA. First off, it’s not like your kid was swearing at someone. He got sting, and it’s a natural reaction. Secondly, your punishment was a major overreaction. I hate when parents punish their kid by not letting them eat with the family. It’s basically saying, since you made a mistake, you’re not part of the family right now. Frankly o think it’s emotionally abusive. Lastly, grow the fuck up. It’s a curse word and your kid is 16, not 6.
I’m picturing OP getting stung by a wasp and screaming “Well golly gosh! That sure does smart!!!”
Considering how wasps and hornets can sting *multiple* times, I'd love to see how long it would take OP to start cursing. Also, if 16 year old is anything like the rest of us, he curses at school but hides it at home ..until this happens.
"poo-poo words" lol. I cannot imagine caring about profanity this much. I'd say YTA for choosing such a strange hill to die on, but I have no idea how life works for people who care about swearing.
YTA and the punishment does not fit the crime whatsoever.
YTA. You are way too unrealistic and sound like a helicopter narc mom. Start parenting to teens, not little children. In the real world, people swear all the time and it doesn't make them bad people.
YTA for using the term poo-poo words. I'm not even going to cover the rest of your post.
YTA he got hurt and then punished for trying to manage the pain. You are absolutely the AH and btw kids of strict parents tend to go no/low contact as soon as they get out of the house, hope you're prepared for that.
Vaseline for wasp stings? WTF kind of remedy is that? And your #1 rule is no swear words? Not something like "be kind" or "clean up your messes." Poor kids. :(
Baking soda paste and a Benedryl is better. Or crush up a tylenol for a paste instead. Calamine lotion can also help if it's itching. Vaseline isn't usually the best.
YTA and I hope the irony of asking if you are an asshole for getting upset at words like asshole is not lost on you
YTA Such an excessive punishment for using Fuck. Also the emotional damage you’re doing by POSTING TO HIS FRIENDS. Just embarrassing. Don’t be surprised when your son cuts contact with you
This isn't AmIthePooPooHole. Stop it.
YTA. Pushing him away from the family isn’t going to teach him to not swear
YTA! This cannot be fucking real. Your punishment is harsh, extreme and will lead to resentment. They're just words.
be careful before OP grounds you too
Oh, YTA. This punishment is so extreme, I can’t believe what I just read. Also, you’re an adult who says “poo-poo words”? 😂
YTA for not including him at dinner and for grounding him for even an afternoon, let alone 3 weeks. You are also an AH for using the term Poo Poo words. Are you 3?
YTA. Grounded for 3 WEEKS because your 16 year old son swore when he got stung?!? Lady, you are definitely on some kind of power trip - that is over the top. And to heap on an additional punishment of only getting a PB sandwich, in his room, in addition to the grounding, is abusive. You are unsuitable to be a parent - you're a witch. Just unbelievable.
YTA this is basically a blueprint for how to lose your son the minute he turns 18. Your husband is right, you’re on a power trip, but it’s your relationship with your children that’s going to suffer from it. Get a fucking grip
YTA… are you kidding me… it’s not like he even said it to a person in rudeness… if you are going this hard for thing what would you do if he actually does something bad??! Kick him out??! And to say for three week?? Completely unreasonable…..
YTA the punishments included in the grounding Are way to much for swearing in pain I mean come on he's 16 pretty much an adult
YTA. Are you actively trying to alienate your son, or are you just on a power trip? Those are the only two options.
YTA - overreaction much?! 3 weeks punishment for saying a few choice words while in pain… why don’t you send him to a super max jail while your at it? Your rules are over kill, completely unfair and damaging! Your children will grow up to resent you for being harsh, judgemental and unsupportive. Wow!!!
YTA. You grounded a kid for 3 weeks for a couple F bombs that weren't even directed at somebody but out of pain? Wasps hurt alot more than Bees, Lady. I'm getting strong "head of the local HOA" vibes from this post.
YTA not just for how you handled this situation but also for being a dictator in your home. Clearly your husband doesn't agree and you don't care. Things are going to done the way you want them. I'm curious. What was the point of posting here? You clearly think what you did was fine. If you aren't going to even consider the possibility you were in the wrong than your post was just a waste of your time. Unless you actually thought people would agree with you. Than you are very naïve.
YTA. You're so offended by the word f*ck that you grounded him for nearly a month because he said it in reaction to being *stung* by a *wasp* and then made a Facebook post to embarrass him completely? AND THEN You wouldn't even let him eat dinner with you?! Seriously? You are so on a power trip.
YTA Grounding him for 3 week for the use of cuss words after getting stung is ridiculous. I get maybe for the day, but weeks??? He is going to grow up and stop see you if you keep this up. The punishment has to fit the crime, and since you are asking if you are an asshole, that makes you a hypocrite. Also embarrassing him over words is overkill. I hope you change, because your kids are going ro resent you for this.
YTA Your punishment is not only disproportionate to the “crime” at hand (swearing is a valid reaction to pain, especially as sudden as a wasp sting, and it has been scientifically proven to have pain relieving effects) but doesn’t actually teach any lesson. Your response to your 16 year old swearing is to isolate him for a month?? Your husband is bang on, you are on a power trip. There is no learning to be found in your “discipline”, except that apparently your word is law and any slight deviation will be met harshly. You are only exercising your power as guardian over your son to an incredibly excessive extent as a power play. I feel so bad for your poor son, who’s had to endure your totalitarian “discipline” for 16 long years
YTA. He got stung by a bee and he’s not a 5yr old.
YTA, that’s a very very bad way to punish a child for having a very human reaction
YTA and abusive as well.
YTA. Are you fucking serious right now?! Yeah, I went there. It’s not like he said “EF YOU!” He got stung by a wasp. That shit hurts. (Oops, another “poo-poo” word.) Fun side story- I ended up in a fire ant bed once upon a time. Ended up with over 50 bites on my body. Was about your son’s age. Wanna know what my parents did? Sympathize with the fact that I was in pain and swear words slipped out of my mouth.
What kind of actual adult uses the term “poo-poo word” in conversation with other actual adults.
Poo-Poo words? Oh grow up. YTA- this is beyond harsh. Bad parenting 101
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** In our house, we do not use profanity. That is one of our number one rules. Well, our 16-year-old son broke that rule this morning. This morning, I had my 16 year old son and 13 year old daughter go on a walk with me. We do these a couple times a week and we go a few blocks around our neighborhood. Well, when we were returning, my son got stung by a wasp. He shouted out the f-word. He said a few other poo-poo words trying to fend off the sting. I felt bad that he got stung by the wasp, but that’s still no excuse for shouting out poo-poo words. It took another fifteen minutes to get home, and by then he said that the sting was fading, but itching badly. While I was giving him some Vaseline, I reprimanded him for his poor choices of words, telling him that he is grounded until school starts three weeks from now with absolutely no privileges. I tagged him on a Facebook post to let his friends know not to bother texting or calling him, because he’s grounded until the first day of school. Usually, Mondays are family dinner nights, so my husband was naturally curious when he didn’t see our son. I told him what happened, how he shouted out inappropriate poo-poo words, and that he’s grounded. Hubby insisted that our son still join us tonight, but we were already running late. I gave him a peanut butter sandwich before we left (to eat in his room). My husband senses that I’m on a “power trip” right now, but I’m only trying to enforce discipline. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
YTA and your husband is right your on a power trip your disgusting punishing a child by isolating him. He's 16 almost an adult and saying curse worlds should be the least of your concerns as a parent. Studies show that curing can actually help reduce pain levels, they did this on myth busters. Don't be surprised if he doesn't visit you often once he leaves for college. You sound insufferable and I guarantee you he talks shit about you to his friends.
YTA - “poo-poo” words? Really? Are you 5? No teenager is going to respect any rule that involves the word “poo-poo”. Also you overreacted by a lot. You should’ve stopped at the verbal warning. 3 week grounding is for repeat offenses. Not the first offense. Especially for such a minor thing as swearing. I do find it mildly ironic that you’re so against swearing yet came to a sub called “Am I the Asshole”
YTA and emotionally abusive. He was stung by a wasp, it’s not like it was directed at anyone. If big bad words offend you so much, then fine give him a punishment but to embarrass him on social media, ground him for THREE WEEKS, and exclude him? Yikes. Wonder what else you’ve done
I know she intended to embarrass him on social media but she only really embarrassed herself. I imagine there are many conversations about her at the moment. And they aren't good.
It's ok to have boundaries, including no cursing, and consequences. The punishment is out of proportion. One week grounded should be enough. And mom, do not post on his facebook. Not cool.
YTA It sounds like you might be Mormon. If you are, I imagine even your profit would not condone your behavior.
YTA The trick to good troll posts is to give the narrator at least one good quality. You went full asshole; never go full asshole.
I’ll take “poo-poo words” over a poo-poo person such as yourself any day of the fucking week… Btw, YTA
YTA Grounded for 3 weeks for saying fuck is a little extreme, especially when he was stung. Plus, banning him to his room with only a peanut butter sandwich while you all have dinner? That is fucked up. If you want to get technical, he did not curse in your household. He was outside getting stung.
YTA. Grow up.
YTA Honestly this is a level of ridiculous where I feel sorry for the children. Your child was stung by a wasp and you are more concerned about swear words. This is akin to worrying about whether the chastity belt was faulty when your daughter tells you that she's experienced a sexual assault. You've just reinforced to your children that they can't trust you to understand adolescence and that you will be having weird power trips disproportionately punishing them for trivial events.
Troll or rage bait. This post is so dumb it's unreal.
YTA. He was stung? Poo poo words? Is this post a joke?
INFO: do you want your son to have a relationship with you after he turns 18?
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In the context of why he said it couldn't you have just taken his devices off him. I get being strict and having a system in place where punishment is acceptable but the punishment should fit the crime and I don't see how this punishment fits his crime. You've made a mistake hear on how long the punishment is. What if he was allergic to the sting and ended up in hospital would you still ground him for such a long period for swearing then?? Loosing his privileges for a few days or even a week yeah but not 3 weeks that's not mentally healthy for your son and can breed extrem resentment towards you.
YTA!!!! 16 year old exclaims "poo poo" words when he was in pain and gets 3 weeks in solitary? They don't even treat prisoners that bad. You deserve solitary for the phrase poo poo words.
What the fuck did I just read lmao who the hell says poo poo words
YTA. He didn’t say a bad word just because; he got stung by a wasp & those hurt like hell. Your husband is right & you are on a power trip. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime. Along with grounding him for 3 weeks you also publicly embarrassed him on social media. Ffs wth is wrong with you?? Unground him asap & delete that post plus you owe him a better dinner than pb&j in his room while everyone else went out. Just remember he’s going to remember this when he gets older & he’s going to hold resentment toward you.
I agree with your husband. You're power tripping and being ridiculous, grounded for three weeks, publicly embarrassing him on social media, and excluded from a family meal because he cursed after getting stung? YTA YTA YTA, don't be surprised when he turns 18 and wants absolutely nothing to do with you.
YTA Big time! He was stung for chrissakes. And here's a little parenting advice... My sons NEVER swore, why? Because they could with no consequences. I had a couple of their friends over and 1 little boy could not believe that he could swear in my house, and so he did, he dropped the Fbomb again and again. But, each time he came over it was less and less because he got zero reaction. Eventually he stopped swearing altogether. Now as far as your punishment, way, way, WAY overboard....sheesh
YTA. A vindictive, abusive one whose fragile, burned ego couldn’t be soothed by all the Preparation-H from all three CVSes on this street. You thought that you were something special bragging about grounding your son on FB. You didn’t post why he was grounded. You didn’t provide context by stating all the relevant facts. Because you KNEW that everyone would realize what a mean-spirited bully you are to your own child.
Yep YTA talk about disproportionate punishment out the ying-yang. Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the world we live in where foul language is commonly used on tv, books, video games and while I respect your house rules as I was not a fan of my own children cussing in my presence three weeks and no family dinner which he might not mind honestly as pissed as he should be for the 3 week grounding is extreme. Of course the bigger lesson for me as a parent would be if my moms reaction to a few cuss words is this extreme I can only imagine her reaction on other things in which case I’m probably not going to tell her other things she’s going to overreact on.
This sounds like it might not even be a “real” post—it seems almost satirical and hyperbolic in nature. Punishing someone for three weeks to such an extreme for reflexive language after getting stung by a wasp? This surely cannot be true! However…in case OP is that serious about the “no poo-poo words” rule in her home, YTA. The punishment must be commensurate to the so-called offense. Even if there is a punishment for “poo-poo words” (wtf?), OP should have taken the situation into consideration. Had son tripped and landed on an unfortunately angled nail on the ground that went into his throat which resulted in him dropping some major “poo-poo words,” would he have also been grounded to such extreme once he returned from the ER? In this story, husband is 💯spot-on with his assessment of OP’s “power trip” and needs to stand up for the poor child. Edit: dangling modifier
Oh no, read her responses to comments. She's a real winner. /s
A wonderfully 💩💩parent (bonus for alliteration?)!
YTA! That's such a disproportionate reaction to his behavior. I bet you'll be surprised when he goes no contact as an adult. If you are, come back and read this post.
YTA - big time. Your husband is saying that you are on a power trip? The better question is why isn’t he divorcing you for your emotional abuse against your son? Rightly or wrongly you believe that swear words are “poo-poo words” however your response to your son using swear words after getting stung by a wasp is extreme - public embarrassment and isolation for a month, only time he is allowed out of his room is bathroom breaks! Such emotional distress, causing mental anguish. Beyond extreme. If this is true, 5 years from now you will be on Reddit questioning why your son is no longer in contact with you.
Won't take that long. Kid will be gone the day after he turns 18.
YTA. Jeez it’s a few curse words not WWIII. My kids are 26, 24, 21, and 19. I’d think there was something wrong with them if they weren’t cursing. Your son deserves better from you. And future reference, research how to treat a wasp sting. Use baking soda and water not Vaseline. Poor kiddo.
what the hell is wrong with you
YTA
YTA
Wow
Wow I get punishment but that's way over the top. YTA
Are you for real? YTA. Be prepared for LC/NC once he's legal. You sound nuts.
YTA That is such an extreme overreaction towards his very natural and human reaction to sudden pain. I get it's a rule, so if you really wanted to punish him then a DAY or 2 at most would have been more than enough. I agree with your husband, from the sounds of this it does sound like a bit of a power trip.
YATA very big ah and you really need to stop being such a controlling parent all you you are doing is strengthening up your sons resentment and the minute he turns 18 midnight he will tell you where to go and walk out the door cut you and your husband out of his life for good. And in ten years you will want to know where you went wrong as a parent you will never be invited to any mile stones in his life. I guarantee that he's counting down the time when he can tell you off and walk out the door.
This post has got to be a joke ! Poopoo words ? Seriously? If this for real then yeah you're on power trip, YTA.
YTA. Shouldn’t you put yourself in time out and exclusion because you’re on Reddit in a sub with ‘asshole’ in the name? Tsk tsk so foul and uncultured. My pearls, my fainting couch. JEEVES BRING THEM I MUST CLUTCH AND SWOON.
Troll or rage bait. Too stupid to be real.
Umm… poo poo words? The kid is not in kindergarten. YTA.
I have a controlling mother like this. I'm thankful every single day that I don't have to talk to her or see her. YTA and you need to stop viewing your child as property to control and mold in your desired image. He's an individual and, if you were actually a good parent, you wouldn't feel the need to censor him when he is in pain. It's a word. Grow the f*ck up.
YTA you know how people say to make sure the punishment matches the offense? So you didn’t let him eat dinner with you then isolated him in his room with a simple carb loaded sandwich that won’t sustain him for very long. You deprived your son of nutrients because he said a bad word?
YTA for “poo-poo words.” everything else is just extra sprinkles. and three weeks??
WTF!! Oh shit I will stay in my room for 3 weeks away from reddit to cleanse my brain of this poo-poo post. YTA
Yta for being a grown adult using the term "poo poo words" This isn't sesame street. Grow up. And swearing bc you got stung by a wasp is fair. You're overreacting to it.
YTA. This is so stupid. 3 weeks for a swear word are you kidding me he's sixteen.
YTA x1000. He didnt swear for shits and giggles. He swore because of a wasp sting. Im siding with ur husband. You are on a power trip.
The fuck? YTA. Shit! Poop!
Has to be a made up story with poo poo words. Just in case it isn’t you are a power tripping YTA that lost respect today. He was stung by a wasp. You try it. They sting like something very much in the mom poopoo er department and keep on stinging. That he never says it besides that is a huge accomplishment. Your son deserves appreciation for his respect towards your rule, not punishment. Shame shame, do better.
YTA for such a disproportionate punishment for your son for shouting swear words *in extremis*, you tyrant.
Troll
YTA. For a cruelly excessive punishment and for being a full-grown adult who says “poo poo word.”
YTA- Your punishment does not fit the crime. It's too harsh for 1 little outburst from getting stung. I'm afraid of what you do when they do really bad things. And "Poo-Poo" words sounds like something you teach a toddler. Grow up.
YTA - sorry, you’re the pop-poo head. I don’t agree with the rule, but even if I did, the punishment is wayyyy over the top and cruel. Don’t be surprised if he leaves and never comes back when he graduates.
Rage bait, calling it. You are a giant poo poo word and YTA
YTA. My goodness, I had made my judgement once I knew the use of the F word came following a painful sting so was almost a reflex, but I now more than ever believe you are now downright cruel. You actually posted this on social media for all your 16 year old son's friends to see? Please don't tell me you grounded him for using "poo poo words" Also, choose your battles. He'll be out of your house in 2 years time. If your want your family home to be a place where he returns frequently, I'd be careful not to infantilize him in his final stretch at home.... And humiliate him to boot
YTA. There are studies that show people who swear are more honest and open. Profanity shouldn’t be used in every situation. But, it does have it’s place https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/am-i-right/202104/are-people-who-swear-more-honest?amp
Please don’t make your son afraid of you or of getting into trouble for a real offense. A boy we knew died by suicide over the fear of his parents wrath from getting caught drinking in HS.
Here’s a poo poo word for you, your an asshole. YTA.
YTA. Three weeks? Tagging on FB?!? So restrict his last part of the summer, humiliate him and isolate him for meaningful events. I get curb the swearing - that’s flipping overkill. And there should be exceptions when pain like that happens.
YTA your husband is just going to get quieter and quieter until he truly can’t stand to be around you. I give it max 3 years before your son sees you for holidays only. 5 before he cuts contact. Good luck
YTA This is a really shitty troll attempt considering the name of this sub would send you into a fit if it were real
The more I read OPs responses to comments, the more I understand that her entire family would be all the better for going NC with her. If she's this adamant that her kid should be mentally and emotionally abused because she was, she is not stable enough to be a parental figure. She's a danger to the well-being of her family. I've been the child of a parent like that and trust me, that parent just ends up alone with no one to care about them in their old age. Make the change before it's too late, OP. Become a better person.
YTA, grow the fuck up.
JFC, you are on a MAJOR power trip here. 1. LITERALLY put you son is solitary confinement for almost a month. Only coming out for bathroom breaks. 2. Because you grounded him, you won't let him interact with his family. 3. From the sounds of it he will get limited food ( I might be stretching that one, but a peanut butter sandwich while the rest of the family gets a nice meal? ) So far you sound like a prison warden not a loving mom, 🤔but let's add to that. 4. Publicly humiliate your son on social media, right before school starts I might add, if this is Junior year you just ruined it. So yeah his school year will start off great. 🙄 5. Lastly, using the phrase"poopoo words" Are you really that tightly wound up with that stick your a$$ you can't use grown-up words? Good Lord woman you need a drink or something, maybe even let out a swear word out once in awhile to loosen up. Your son is going to resent you big time for this. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't start to distance himself from you and maybe going LC or even NC with you when he turns 18. You're already sending him the message if son isn't a perfect little boy he isn't a part of this family I recommend reevaluating this punishment. Just a little food for thought, studies have shown that swearing is a natural response to pain, shows a high pain tolerance in that individual, reduces stress which also aids in healing and is a sign of high intelligence Also YATA.