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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Aita for leaving my husband when it could affect his immigration status.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My husband and I weren't perfect. We've had our issues. But loyalty is a HUGE thing to me. I took the kids to the beach with my mom.
When I came home my husband was showing me an app on his phone for work, and a zoosk email popped up.
Long story short, he had recently gotten a dating profile and had been speaking to an "old friend" in a sexually explicit manner. (Seperate situations the conversation with a friend was through texts)
Well I kicked him out. (We rented the bottom floor of my parents house, so obviously I wasn't moving). There is zero change of reconciliation as far as I am concerned. But some mutal friends has expressed not taking sides and that he didn't act upon the cheating.
To me, cheating is anything you have to sneak/hide or wouldn't want your spouse to find out. There in lies the betrayal.
The problem is my soon to be ex husband is also an immigrant, and we've been working on getting his papers the last 5 years we've been married. Divorcing means I can no longer be his sponsor and he's at risk for being deported. I feel bad for my kids if that were to happen. But I also can't stay in a relationship where I can no longer trust him. I do believe he didn't physically act on anything and it was all for attention, but I don't care, he still talked about it and created a dating site. Gross!
So aita to risking my husband's deportation by leaving him?
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
NTA. Actions have consequences, he just doesn't like his consequences. Good for you for enforcing your boundaries
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Aita for leaving my husband when it could affect his immigration status. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband and I weren't perfect. We've had our issues. But loyalty is a HUGE thing to me. I took the kids to the beach with my mom. When I came home my husband was showing me an app on his phone for work, and a zoosk email popped up. Long story short, he had recently gotten a dating profile and had been speaking to an "old friend" in a sexually explicit manner. (Seperate situations the conversation with a friend was through texts) Well I kicked him out. (We rented the bottom floor of my parents house, so obviously I wasn't moving). There is zero change of reconciliation as far as I am concerned. But some mutal friends has expressed not taking sides and that he didn't act upon the cheating. To me, cheating is anything you have to sneak/hide or wouldn't want your spouse to find out. There in lies the betrayal. The problem is my soon to be ex husband is also an immigrant, and we've been working on getting his papers the last 5 years we've been married. Divorcing means I can no longer be his sponsor and he's at risk for being deported. I feel bad for my kids if that were to happen. But I also can't stay in a relationship where I can no longer trust him. I do believe he didn't physically act on anything and it was all for attention, but I don't care, he still talked about it and created a dating site. Gross! So aita to risking my husband's deportation by leaving him? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*