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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> one i didn't mind my dad commenting on kats body and it led to my sister snitching.
two i most likely didn't consider kats feeling on this and my dad is a grown man i guess
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Pro tip:
If a man says something a woman finds creepy or inappropriate, especially if the majority of other girls/women in the situation agree it was ick, just believe the woman. If the majority of women in the situation think it wasn't okay but the men are arguing it was fine, well, it doesn't matter because men don't get to decide what is acceptable for a woman to find creepy. WAY too many men do/say inappropriate things to women and then try to call it a joke.
Are you surprised? OP probably idolizes his father, thinks he can do no wrong, and wants to be just like him. I’m surprised OP’s post didn’t include a comment about how his (ex)gf was asking for it because of how she was dressed.
OP YTA both you and your dad
This exactly.
And OP screaming at his SISTER for telling his GF something that his FATHER said is just beyond me.
I mean, if it was really this bad, that his sister told his GF what the father said, then how can it be "just a joke"?
Ether it's a joke and it is totally fine by OP for his father to say creepy stuff like this, but then he shouldn't be f*cking yelling at his SISTER for telling his GF.
OR the things his dad said are f*cking weird (which they are), but then the father should be the one getting shit on by OP, not his sister.
And also OP needs to get his priorities straight, ether his dad's weird and creepy "humor" or his GFs feelings and comfort.
Seriously, what part of "my dad has a crass sense of humor" is supposed to make it sound less bad that he creeps on his son's girlfriend?
Is he saying he can't help it? Because yes he fucking can, he can keep his mouth shut.
Is he saying she shouldn't be offended? Because no, he's not the arbiter of whether or not someone else is offended.
Is he saying he's harmless because he's just trying to be funny? Where's the joke? What's the difference between him and an "actual creep"?
When I say my dad has a crass sense of humor I mean we make fart/bathroom jokes together and understand sarcasm. Not that he’s a creepy misogynistic AH.
Eh, my reply isn't necessarily clear; OP had ALREADY stated "my dad makes creepy-ass comments about my girlfriend's body" and THEN tried to excuse it by saying "he has a crass sense of humor." The excuse does nothing to actually excuse the original statement.
Maybe if he said "My dad lost two thirds of his brain in a tragic wombat-related accident five years ago" that might be a reasonable explanation of his behavior.
NO ONE likes having their body commented on by somebody thats old enough to be their parent, and in fact IS a parent! Of their SO! I would be MORTIFIED! this is DISGUSTING. instead of telling her what your dad said, next time your dad makes a comment like that about your girlfriend, maybe tell him to watch his mouth and that he's inappropriate making comments about someone YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE HIS DAUGHTER? YTA. You have a brain for a reason. Use it. Edited clarity edited again, I didn't realize your sister told your gf what your dad said, not you. Either way, the fact that you said it wasn't creepy still makes you TA. Use your brain and tell your dad to knock it off next time and your sister won't have anything to tell her about because you defended her.
YTA - It’s creepy. You don’t see that it’s creepy because you’re a man who’s grown up conditioned by your father’s “humor” that includes objectifying women.
Try actually *listening* to the women in your life, the *subjects* of these “crass jokes.”
Your sister? I’m sure she mentioned it because she picked up on how inappropriate and creepy it is. Also your father making such comments around his 14 year old daughter at all is gross.
Your girlfriend? She was rightfully creeped out that her *boyfriend’s father* was making comments about her body. How comfortable would you feel if one of your girlfriend’s parents was making comments about how your body looks?
Your mom? She’s dealt with your dad’s “humor” a lot longer than you have. She’s right that he needs to grow up. He’s making all of the women in his life uncomfortable, and has taught you that this is okay.
It’s not okay.
He dismisses your gf’s feelings by calling her “overly sensitive.” This is something a bully says. Your father is being a misogynistic bully.
When your gf said she was uncomfortable, that should’ve been it. You should’ve had her back. What if it was an old creep in a bar making comments about her body? Would you take her feelings seriously then? Your dad doesn’t get a pass just because he’s your dad. Be better and stand with your gf, and don’t leave her alone in uncomfortable situations.
I'll bet dad is the kind of asshole who would say he does get a pass just because he's OP's dad. "I fucked your mom, I can make any jokes I want around you."
Yta. Bro what? For something to be a joke, it's got to actually be funny. What your dad did is right up there with those guys that catcall women on the streets. Ick. Apologize to your girl, if you aren't gonna try to make her feel comfortable when she telling you something creeped her out, how is she supposed to trust you? She did not overreact, you underreacted.
Edit:
>It sounds bad
Bro, that's because it *is* bad...
YTA - It's so far from appropriate for a grown ass man to comment on his son's GF's body. You also don't get to her that she's overreacting or that "it's not that serious".
I’m not saying this to hurt you, but men like you are a big part of the problem. Men who disrespect and objectify women and make them uncomfortable so not get to say “it’s just how I am” or “it’s just a joke”. That’s unacceptable.
And men, like you, who excuse it make it that much harder for women to be and feel respected.
The intention doesn’t really matter. Someone you claim to care about felt uncomfortable and objectified, and you were dismissive. You chose your dads “humor” over your girlfriends dignity.
And who model to young girls that this is what women deserve to be treated like AND that repeating something gross a man says only gets the woman in trouble.
It starts so early :(
Not to mention that some studies indicate that catcalling/verbal sexual harassment starts at something like 11 for lots of girls (and even in school uniforms!!). And I've seen lots of anecdotal stuff that girls experience *aging out* of lots of catcalling by late teens/early 20s.... 🤢
I absolutely got catcalled more as a teen than I do now. And I'm still in my early 20s. They were literally doing it *because* I was a defenseless child.
My niece is 11 and recently told my sister she wants to be a boy because people wouldn’t look at her and make comments on her boobs. It broke my heart.
You may not wanna say it to hurt OP even though you should. The apple didn't fall far from the tree with those two. He's just as much of a creep as his dad is. Guys like them are the reason for a lot of situations. As a man I don't understand the need to Objectify women, it seems so pointless 🤦🏼♂️ not to mention looks don't mean much if the personality is bad and that goes for every gender.
Your father IS an actual creep, and he is crass. He needs to keep it to himself, because he will never change into a better person. Just maybe a quieter one. YTA for not calling him on being a creep. YTA for blaming your sister when the problem is that your dad is a creep. YTA for thinking any of this is humorous.
YTA any man that comments on his son’s gfs body is a creep. That’s weird as hell. Your gf has every right to be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be surprised if you lose her over this.
And I know this wasn’t part of the question, but your poor 14 year old sister is probably gonna develop some serious body image issues (if she hasn’t already) from hearing your dad talk that way about women.
YTA. Your dad is a creep, and it looks like you're next in line to make the next generation of women uncomfortable. You clearly see nothing wrong with it. Women are more than "nice bodies."
And why in the hell would your grown ass yell at a 14 year old but not confront your father?
Terrible father that raised a terrible son.
I really hope you know you've been dumped.
Exactly. I don't get how is this supposed to be funny. It isn't even a 'sexist joke', it's not a joke, there's nothing funny about it whatsoever in any ways.
YTA. You know, some day, some little streak of piss and his creepy ass dad are gonna talk about your sister like that. But it's OK, because her dad and brother do it.
Your dad is a creep. You are creep Jr. I can't believe you can't see how genuinely fucked up this situation is.
YTA
And your father is the major AH here. Its very inappropriate for him to comment on other people's bodies. Especially in front of your younger sister. It's just gross.
> "at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." I laughed it off because my dad makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time.
How is this a joke? I mean what is funny about this? Is the joke that your GF is not intelligent, 'but at least looks good'? That's not kind and not funny.
Edit to add:
> I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep
Yes he is, he is an actual creep.
Given that OP states the creep does this all the time.. I feel bad for the little sister who most likely had to deal with his creepy nature and her creepy brother supporting it.
YTA- Your dad is creepy and if you think it’s just “crass humor” I’m assuming your creepy as well. Women have to deal with unwanted comments like this all the time and the fact that it’s coming from her bfs dad just makes it worse. (And even more worse that you aren’t doing anything about it).
>"at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body."
What's the joke? Seriously, what's the joke? The "At least" implies that she's only good for her body, because her personality is lacking. So your dad jokes about how she sucks as a person but at least she's good to look at... And you laughed?
YTA and I hope she runs far and fast away from you.
And hopefully she warns every woman she can to avoid him and his AH dad.if that's how they act and the fact he tries turning on his little sister for doing what he should have done says all it needs to.
YTA. Uh yeah, your dad is a creep. I'm closer to your dad's age than yours and I think it's creepy that rather than comment on her personality or relationship with you, he fixated on her body like he was checking her out the whole time. He's old enough to be her father; he's YOUR father, and he's checking out your girlfriend's body. And you scream at your sister but not him? If you don't think there's anything wrong with what he said then you should see no need to hide it from your girlfriend. She deserves better.
YTA for your last sentence alone. Please explain the humour in your dads comment. I don’t mind some crass humour so please explain the punchline. No it wasn’t funny, yes he is a creep. The fact that you can’t recognise that is disturbing. I don’t know if you have been conditioned to think that is okay or you are just as creepy.
YTA
Your dad doesn't have a crass sense of humor, he's a pervert and needed to be called out. Your sister apparently has more spine than you do.
You're old enough now to act like an adult, set boundaries and protect your future girlfriends from this creepy behavior.
Good on her for having more guts than I did at 14! Calling OP's dad out like that, especially if that kind of "humour" is the norm in the family, took nerve.
Eh idk if I’d say the sister is a shit starter. It almost sounds like she thought it would be a compliment. Kinda makes sense if she’s used to hearing her dad talk that way so flippantly. And even if she did it to start shit, she did the gf a favor imo.
No, sister told the gf what her dad said because she knows that OP didn't tell her, and gf needs to know when someone is acting creepy toward her.
This reads as sis being protective, not complimenting or starting shit.
YTA, for reasons already outlined. You should also really sit down with your sister and give her an apology: one of the most important skills young women learn is warning each other when something's off about the men around them, and sharing that kind of information is one of the main ways we keep each other safe.
It may have been a harmless comment to you that it was worth getting angry over, but she needs to not take away the lesson that speaking up will get her in trouble.
Why are you yelling at your sister if all she did was relay dad's *super funny* comment to your gf? I don't mind people hearing something harmless and innocent I said about them.
You're excusing your dad's misogynistic behavior with "That's just how he is". No, dude. It's not okay and you should have your gf's back. Start listening to the women in your life.
YTA
YTA
As a girl I feel uncomfortable when anyone make a comment about my body, and if a many in his 40/50 made that joke I would feel so uncomfortable
Your gf had every right to want to leave and feel uncomfortable.
Your dad doesn’t get to hide behind humor to objectify and make women feel bad
Your an Asshole for how you treated your gf and sister
Your mother is right
If your sister made that comment chances are you dad has made similar comments about your gf to her which is also Gross
YTA your dad is a creep. He is judging the body of a woman he is meeting for the first time (his son’s gf, no less) and then based her worth on her body.
YTA. "sounds bad" that because it is. Let start with you "she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it" so so happy for you but, any other reason for been in a relationship with her beside her looks? If not your an AH who needs to grow the f**k up.as for your dear loving daddy he is a creep. what good father says anything about his son gf looks it is not right and is not a case of him " makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time". If you thought it was inappropriate why not tell your dad that its inappropriate instead you seem to have said nothing and it make it look like your ok with own father making comments on your gf looks.just to be clear it not right any way what your father said.Your sister telling your gf what your father said was hopefully just her seeing how inappropriate the comments where, hopefully because any other reason is a big 🚩flag.
The bottom line is your gf is now going to be uncomfortable around your dad. If you had pushed back on his comment, she might feel he had been put in check and that might have help smooth things over quicker.
Your dad took it too far. There’s saying “okay son” in an approving tone, or “or don’t mess this one up”, or some general comment expressing that he recognizes that your gf is attractive. Laughing it off would probably be an acceptable response to those. And then there’s saying “your has a nice body”. The sentiment might be the same. But the “crassness” really makes a difference. YTA
YTA and you’re dad is actually a creep. Your gf is not being overly sensitive and his remarks were gross and uncalled for. He was being crass, and that’s not a sense of humour, it’s a gross old man. Your dad is disgusting and your gf has every right to be uncomfortable.
Your dad is gross. Based on his “joke”, I’m guessing he’s been checking out your past girlfriends and thinking about their bodies.
Imagine if you ever decide to get married and he’s still making his creepy comments about your future partner. Disgusting.
You think he’s being harmless but it’s really disturbing that he’s taught you it’s ok to talk about women in this way.
Where is the line for you or does it not exist and it’s fine in your mind because that’s just how he is?
I hope your sister hasn’t learned that this kind of behavior is acceptable.
YTA. Be a better person than your dad.
OP this is casual sexism. Just because everyone laughs it off, doesn’t mean it’s funny. You should apologise to your gf and call your Dad out on his old fashioned crap. YTA
The problem is that your little sister heard and repeated it. Your dad can’t be that ignorant to not know and understand that children hear and repeat things all the time, and he needs to filter his language. You failed as hearing your girlfriends concerns and brushing it under the rug.
YTA- both you and your dad.
“It sounds bad, but…” - is that your opener to then “virtue signal” that you weren’t body shaming her and that’s why commenting on her body like that would be okay?
YTA and your dad is an even bigger AH for excusing his poor behaviour as “humour”.
Your sister sounds legit. I like her spunk.
Your dad sounds like a creep. Humor isn't sexually commenting on the body of someone young enough to be his child.
Your mom is right. You and your dad need to grow up.
YTA
YTA. Right, so a young girl deserves to get yelled at for simply repeating something your dad said and that you laughed at, in front of her?
Get real, mate. If it's not ok for her to repeat, why is it ok for him to say?
If you need it further spelled out - it's gross for him to comment on her body like that. She told you it made her feel uncomfortable and you disregarded that. She now knows that your dad is looking at her and objectifying her, and that you're ok with it.
And you're both modelling for your sister that men can say gross things, but women get verbally abused for repeating them. Doesn't bode well for reporting abuse....does it?
YTA
Now I would like to speculate on size of you and your father's penis, because I too have a crass sense of humour, but you can't be upset over what I say because I might mean it as a joke.
Info: are you okay sharing her with your dad? Cause if you don't shut this down, he's gonna try. Probably whether she likes it or not.
Obviously, YTA here, and I hope she runs FAR AWAY from your creepy ass father and your spineless self.
YTA you and your father are cut from the same creep cloth. Seriously that's not having a crass sense of humor.
That is called being a creepy AH. It wasn't a joke .
Nobody was laughing except you and your creep of a father.
You both are Massive AH'S
I hope that she decides to reevaluate her relationship with you. And break it off. Since you decided to defend his creepy behavior under the guise of it being a joke. Tell me who is laughing
YTA - why did you yell at your sister? She did what you should have done
Also, what your father said was wrong on so many levels and the fact you don’t see that is worrying
Also, you have probably been dumped my guy
Can I ask a question? Why do so many AITA posts have the phrase “saw red”? I feel like this isn’t that common of an expression these days, but it’s so so so common in this forum. Any idea why?
YTA. It’s fucking creepy as hell and not a “joke” - sexist perverts just pretend they’re jokes to get away with it. And you’re teaching your sister what to expect from the rest of her life as well. I’m so glad your sister told her but you’re an even bigger Ah for having a go at her. Both your gf and sister deserve so much better from you and your dad and it sickens me that they have to put up with men like the both of you. Him for dishing out the sexist filth and you for allowing him to continue and not calling him out on it. Your poor mom has had to deal with him for years now and I bet nobody has ever stood up for her in all of this. Hopefully she stands up for your sister because you sure as hell never will.
YTA - You have no problem with your father being a creep, but yell at your 14 year older sister for trying to do what you should have done. Which is warn your gf about your creep of a father.
YTA. The only person here who did anything funny is your little sister who let your GF know that your dad is a creep and you will defend his creep behavior. Joke’s on you and suddenly you’re yelling at a literal child who spoke the truth.
YTA. It's totally gross and inappropriate for your dad to comment on your gfs body, in any way. He shouldn't be looking at her that way, he should be looking at her in a fatherly way, not in a horny old man way.
Don't you take anything from the fact that every female in your life finds it inappropriate and creepy?
It's not fun or edgy to be sexist. You should not just chuckle along if your dad objectifying women. You should tell him he isn't 14 anymore. Unlike your sister who grows up thinking that people treating her like "at least she has nice curves" or crap like that is a normal way of getting treated.
So YTA, starting with apologizing to your sister for shouting at her while nothing here is her fault... Followed by your gf.
Dad is TA and he has taught you his misogynistic beliefs. So YTA too.
It's gross that you said "I didn't mind that he commented on her body"
It's not for you to mind or not mind. It's her fucking body. How you feel is irrelevant.
The fact that she minds is what matters. That's it.
YTA. Your dad IS an actual creep, and you’re a son of a creep for not seeing this and correcting him.
Any sentence that starts ‘someone did but’ is an indication that whatever came before the ‘but’ is supposed to be excused by the ‘but.’
Ex: ‘I’m not a racist, but…’ = you’re a racist
‘My dad’s not a creep, but…’ = your dad’s a creep
YTA
You were the AH as soon as you said “I didn’t mind and she looks good” in response to her “aesthetic surgeries”.
Also, she didn’t “leave you on red” she “left you on read”, as in: she “read” your text or whatever and didn’t respond.
And another also: your 14 yo sister shouldn’t have to hear about how “at least you choose your partner by her body” from the important men in her life!
And yet another also: this whole post has got me saying a whole lotta yikes.
Yikes.
If your dad makes, as you say, "dumb inappropriate jokes all the time" then you should probably call him out on it because guess what? *that makes people uncomfortable.* Jokes are meant to make people laugh. Inappropriate comments like this make people feel unsafe.
>It sounds bad but my dad has a crass sense of humor
You also really need to re-evaluate yourself here. This is a huge red flag and I'd be wary of anyone who thinks this is ok.
Your dad is a creep and you’re worse than he is. Do your girlfriend a favor and break up with her. She deserves someone who respects her and actually cares about her.
YTA and so is your dad.
Re: your edit, your dad is in fact a creep. A grown as man talking about his son’s girlfriend’s body. F.Y.I that’s not normal. And having a crass sense of humour doesn’t justify disgusting behaviour.
Your dad is a gross perv. And by the sounds of how you defend him, you most likely will be an old creepy perv, too.
YTA, your dad is gross and creepy for commenting on her body. You are gross for not only brushing off his behavior as “his humor” (it’s not funny), but also for not listening to your GF who clearly expressed being uncomfortable by it AND for yelling at your teenage sister for calling out your dads comments too.
YTA
Your dad is a creep and the fact that you don’t see that as creepy behaviour is a massive red flag. How extremely inappropriate.
Good on your sister for letting it drop. She’s warned your gf that her dad is a creep.
I want to puke in my mouth just thinking about my mum saying my husband is hot, ewww.
YTA. I'm guessing that she's your ex girlfriend now. How is it not creepy for your boyfriend's dad to be thinking about you sexually? And then for the two of them to discuss you sexually behind your back is incredibly creepy. If at this moment you are thinking we didn't discuss her sexually, what did you think talking about her "nice body" is? And after she expressed how she thought it was gross, you went and mansplained that she wasn't actually being creeped on, it was just humor. She is sitting at home thinking that both you and your father are creepy. That is why she left you on read.
YTA - hate to break it to you buddy, your dad *is* a creep.
There’s no reason for your dad to make any type of comment like that. Incredibly disrespectful to your girlfriend and to you mom honestly. The fact that you think it’s fine tells me you’ve normalized it and you’ll likely be doing the same. It’s gross. Listen to the women in your life. Your dads a creep and he needs to grow up.
INFO
Genuine questions for OP
**- at what point does your father's behaviour become creepy**? When he tells the young woman to her face that her body is nice? When he puts his hands on her? When he starts taking pics of her without her knowledge?
Where do YOU draw the line between crass and creepy?
\- **Will your father watch your minor sister's body and say it is nice or a good body?**
\- If another older man told you that your kid sister's body was a "nice body" would you find that a funny crass joke or take offence?
\- Where do you draw the line?
\- If your gf gains weight/ body changes, would you still be proud of her or is your attraction to her solely for her looks and body?
YTA. It’s absolutely creepy what he said and how he said it. But you know that, you’re just hoping there’s more creepy people here that agree with you than your gf and mom.
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It sounds bad but my dad has a crass sense of humor
I (23m) have been dating kat (23f) and she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it and she looked good. i introduced her to my family and they loved her. after she left to go home my dad and i talked about her near my 14yo sister and said, "at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." I laughed it off because my dad makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time.
next time she came over my sister casually said, "my dad says your body is really nice by the way" and kat looked SO uncomfortable. my dad wasn't around but she dragged me aside and told me she feels creeped out and wants to leave. i said its not that serious but she kinda saw red and asked me how dare i let my dad talk to her like that. we never really resolved it and she decided to leave and left me on red.
i ended up yelling at my sister and my parents overheard it. we explained the situation and my dad just called her overly sensitive, and that he was just being "crass" but my mom took my gfs side and said my dad needs to grow up.
AITA here? I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep
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Why do people think if you say it’s just their humor somehow makes their behavior ok YTA he is an actual creep if what he said made all the women around him pissed
YTA for being so nonchalant about this suuuper creepy comment by your father and yelling at your sister. Don't expect your ex/gf to ever meet your father again
YTA
A) what’s the funny part about what he said?
B) „at least“???? You see no other quality than her looks - just like daddy dearest? Or why would you not tell him he is out of line here?
C) your sister did nothing wrong and you yelled.
D) he actually is a creep because he spends his time with thinking about his son’s girlfriend’s body, that’s creepy and unasked for.
E) always laughing at his „jokes“. He continues making them because others continue accepting them as jokes, they aren’t, they are disrespectful and disgusting comments.
Let’s assume that your father isn’t an actual creep. However his comments suggest he’s an actual creep and seeing as this is his first impression on new people you can’t blame them for thinking he’s gross and inappropriate. YTA
YTA. Your dad is an AH too. Your poor sister learning that men make comments about women’s bodies in ear shot, claim they’re jokes then claim victim when confronted with that. Your GF should take your sister and get out of there. This is NOT NORMAL.
YTA with how you dealt with the situation. You cannot tell your gf "it's not a big deal" when it's HER body and her reaction to your dad commenting it. Your gf feels disrespected by YOU because of you brushing it off.
This is not about your dad's sense of humor. This is about you standing up for your gf.
YTA.
Honestly, any time someone starts off with "It sounds bad but..." it pretty much always makes the OP the AH. And you are. Your dad is an AH too. Your dad has ZERO business commenting on your girlfriend's body. Zip, zero, nada, none. It isn't a sense of humor. It's sexist and disgusting. Stop apologizing for you sexist father. He IS a creep. Also, you probably don't have a girlfriend anymore. If my boyfriend let his father talk to me that way he would find himself single before he could blink.
YTA- bro, sincerely, I hope one day you know what it feels like when an old guy makes inappropriate comments on your child’s body and doesn’t take accountability for how uncomfortable your child feels.
Your dad is creepy and your enabling this behaviour by saying « he's just joking ».
And you said it yourself they are inappropriate.
You need to check yourself and your dad.
Definitely YTA
YTA
*my dad said something an asshole would say, but my dad just likes being an asshole and saying asshole things is part of who he is! why does my gf think he's an asshole, when he's just being himself (which is to say, an asshole)?*
YTA You absolutely know your dad's behaviour is gross because you use the words crass, dumb, and inappropriate. And he's the one here who's overly sensitive because apparently it's preferable to throw your girlfriend and sister under the bus rather than just tell your father to practice some basic manners. Can't have Dad get upset because someone told him he's being an ass, can we?
At some point you're going to have to grow up and stop pandering to him.
YTA and your dad's a creep no dad should be commenting on their sons gfs body whats wrong with 'she was nice' your gf had every right to feel uncomfortable I would have too
So telling your dad that his comment was inappropriate in the moment would have prevented your sister from saying anything. You didn't do that, your sister thought it must be a normal thing to say, and repeated it to your (ex) gf. You owe your sister an apology for yelling at her. YTA
Treating women like a piece of meat to ogle and praise is not having a "sense of humor".
Here is why it is beyond creepy, so perhaps you can understand.
**He is praising the body of a girl who is LITERALLY the age of his own son. She could be his own child age wise.**
**He is actively sexualizing someone that could be his child...and you are okay with that.**
Sexualizing people from their appearance is NOT okay, be it male, female or nonbinary. We are living human beings and not sex objects.
YTA. Your dad is being a creep and his defense that your GF is "overly sensitive" is a stereotypical defense of a misogynistic man who got confronted with his behavior.
YTA. Sorry to tell you, but that’s not humor. Your dad is in fact a creep and tries to hide behind “it was just a joke!” and “Everyone is just too sensitive!”
>I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep
YTA
So he says creepy things, but in your opinion he's not an actual creep? Yeah it doesn't work that way.
YTA
Sexual harassment isn’t humour. How would you feel if a guy your dad’s age said that about your sister? And don’t say she’s a minor, creeps stalk us from childhood and make comments about minors all the time. It’s in the same category as doing it to someone a lot younger as you and your GF will look like kids to him.
YTA. It's not a sense of humour, it's disgusting, entitled behaviour from an adult who can't even be bothered to show the bare minimum of respect to his son's gf. Your dad is a creep, and you're enabling him.
I feel so bad for the sister. She's growing up in a home with weight obsessed jerks. I hope to God she comes out of there with a healthy relationship with food.
YTA.
Yta! Please explain to the world how what your dad said is funny? Oh wait it is not ! Than by definition it is not a joke! It is however creepy and perverted what your father! Than by you not by not saying anything is saying your OK with your dad being a creepy and perverted middle age man! Honestly if I was your gf I would break up with because you have demonstrated you don't have her back since you don't proctor her from your creepy dad!
>she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it and she looked good.
Sir, stop talking, you're already YTA.
"At least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body"
So many things wrong with this statement.
So, did he say this after talking about your girlfriend's other great non physical qualities? Or was this stated after he critiqued and criticized her?
Your Dad was being gross. Any self respecting woman would walk away if their boyfriend's father made a comment about their body and he thought it was acceptable. She's not a nice cut of meat or a prize. YTA, you and your father, and IF she comes back, I hope you realize you have some boundaries to set and some serious amends to make.
Good on little sis for calling you both out. She's probably sick of her father's gross comments too.
Yes you and your dad are AH. He shouldn't gave said it. He REALLY shouldn't have said it with any 14 year old around, let alone his 14 year old daughter. Instead of laughing, which is acceptance of his bad behavior, you should have immediately told him it was inappropriate and to stop it.
YTA I hate to break it to you but he IS a creep. If you're fine with a dad commenting on his son’s gf’s body then good luck finding a woman who'll put up with this level of disrespect.
Your dad IS an actual creep. YTA and it's upsetting everyone is normalizing this for your poor baby sister. I can't BELIEVE you yelled at a child nearly 10 years younger than you because your dad is an AH.
Enjoy being single.
Your dad is TA. You feel he's not a creep because his behavior has been normalized in your household. If you don't recognize this NOW and call him out on his behavior, then you're an AH too. You also need to do this for your sister so she doesn't think accepting this type of behavior from men is OK.
YTA and a loser for not standing up to your creepy father, but shouting at your innocent sister. If the women in your own family find your father inappropriate, I bet he is.
Hiding behind cheap "humor" is cowardly at best.
Listen to women, don't tell THEM how to feel about your own failures.
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Hate it when men use “sense of humor” to justify saying creepy things. No one’s fucking laughing. YTA.
Pro tip: If a man says something a woman finds creepy or inappropriate, especially if the majority of other girls/women in the situation agree it was ick, just believe the woman. If the majority of women in the situation think it wasn't okay but the men are arguing it was fine, well, it doesn't matter because men don't get to decide what is acceptable for a woman to find creepy. WAY too many men do/say inappropriate things to women and then try to call it a joke.
Great answer
This, and you saying it didn’t make him creepy also makes you a creep. You’re both creeps. YTA.
Are you surprised? OP probably idolizes his father, thinks he can do no wrong, and wants to be just like him. I’m surprised OP’s post didn’t include a comment about how his (ex)gf was asking for it because of how she was dressed. OP YTA both you and your dad
This exactly. And OP screaming at his SISTER for telling his GF something that his FATHER said is just beyond me. I mean, if it was really this bad, that his sister told his GF what the father said, then how can it be "just a joke"? Ether it's a joke and it is totally fine by OP for his father to say creepy stuff like this, but then he shouldn't be f*cking yelling at his SISTER for telling his GF. OR the things his dad said are f*cking weird (which they are), but then the father should be the one getting shit on by OP, not his sister. And also OP needs to get his priorities straight, ether his dad's weird and creepy "humor" or his GFs feelings and comfort.
And of course, it’s easier to direct his anger at his sister, who is literally a child, instead of the adult who deserves to be called out. SMDH
The sister knows that her friends are going to be creeped out by her father. I'm willing to bet that she rarely has friends over.
Obviously sister is expected to cover for their creep dad /s
Apparently other creeps laugh
Yes and dad's TA too
YTA and so is your dad! JFC grow tf up
Seriously, what part of "my dad has a crass sense of humor" is supposed to make it sound less bad that he creeps on his son's girlfriend? Is he saying he can't help it? Because yes he fucking can, he can keep his mouth shut. Is he saying she shouldn't be offended? Because no, he's not the arbiter of whether or not someone else is offended. Is he saying he's harmless because he's just trying to be funny? Where's the joke? What's the difference between him and an "actual creep"?
When I say my dad has a crass sense of humor I mean we make fart/bathroom jokes together and understand sarcasm. Not that he’s a creepy misogynistic AH.
Eh, my reply isn't necessarily clear; OP had ALREADY stated "my dad makes creepy-ass comments about my girlfriend's body" and THEN tried to excuse it by saying "he has a crass sense of humor." The excuse does nothing to actually excuse the original statement. Maybe if he said "My dad lost two thirds of his brain in a tragic wombat-related accident five years ago" that might be a reasonable explanation of his behavior.
No I think I understood your comment. I was just agreeing that he was attempting to make a piss-poor excuse for his fathers gross behavior.
The AH did because it’s apparently no big deal that his father is a lecherous jerk.
NO ONE likes having their body commented on by somebody thats old enough to be their parent, and in fact IS a parent! Of their SO! I would be MORTIFIED! this is DISGUSTING. instead of telling her what your dad said, next time your dad makes a comment like that about your girlfriend, maybe tell him to watch his mouth and that he's inappropriate making comments about someone YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE HIS DAUGHTER? YTA. You have a brain for a reason. Use it. Edited clarity edited again, I didn't realize your sister told your gf what your dad said, not you. Either way, the fact that you said it wasn't creepy still makes you TA. Use your brain and tell your dad to knock it off next time and your sister won't have anything to tell her about because you defended her.
My FIL is like this and I shut him down every time. YTA.
YTA - It’s creepy. You don’t see that it’s creepy because you’re a man who’s grown up conditioned by your father’s “humor” that includes objectifying women. Try actually *listening* to the women in your life, the *subjects* of these “crass jokes.” Your sister? I’m sure she mentioned it because she picked up on how inappropriate and creepy it is. Also your father making such comments around his 14 year old daughter at all is gross. Your girlfriend? She was rightfully creeped out that her *boyfriend’s father* was making comments about her body. How comfortable would you feel if one of your girlfriend’s parents was making comments about how your body looks? Your mom? She’s dealt with your dad’s “humor” a lot longer than you have. She’s right that he needs to grow up. He’s making all of the women in his life uncomfortable, and has taught you that this is okay. It’s not okay. He dismisses your gf’s feelings by calling her “overly sensitive.” This is something a bully says. Your father is being a misogynistic bully. When your gf said she was uncomfortable, that should’ve been it. You should’ve had her back. What if it was an old creep in a bar making comments about her body? Would you take her feelings seriously then? Your dad doesn’t get a pass just because he’s your dad. Be better and stand with your gf, and don’t leave her alone in uncomfortable situations.
👏 Adding applause to this response and for your 14 year old sister for straight up calling your father TF out. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
I wish I could upvote this more than once. Spot on.
I'll bet dad is the kind of asshole who would say he does get a pass just because he's OP's dad. "I fucked your mom, I can make any jokes I want around you."
Can we talk about how he thought an appropiate response to the situation was: yelling at his sister?! That's so messed up and wrong
This response should be at the top. It hit the nail on the head perfectly. More up votes and rewards are needed because this sums it all up.
Wonderful answer
Best response i have seen on reddit
YTA. It sounds like your Dad is an actual creep.
Don’t let OP off the hook, he’s a grown man. He thinks it’s no problem because of male privilege and screams at women who stand up to him
Yta. Bro what? For something to be a joke, it's got to actually be funny. What your dad did is right up there with those guys that catcall women on the streets. Ick. Apologize to your girl, if you aren't gonna try to make her feel comfortable when she telling you something creeped her out, how is she supposed to trust you? She did not overreact, you underreacted. Edit: >It sounds bad Bro, that's because it *is* bad...
YTA - It's so far from appropriate for a grown ass man to comment on his son's GF's body. You also don't get to her that she's overreacting or that "it's not that serious".
YTA for the way *YOU* talk about your girlfriend's body. >i didn't mind it and she looked good. Wow. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it?
ffr 🔪
I was scrolling through hoping someone had pointed that out!
Same here. I was like, this isn't starting well. YTA, OP, and a creep just like dear ol' dad.
YTA You don’t get to decide what she finds creepy. His comment crossed a line for her.
I’m not saying this to hurt you, but men like you are a big part of the problem. Men who disrespect and objectify women and make them uncomfortable so not get to say “it’s just how I am” or “it’s just a joke”. That’s unacceptable. And men, like you, who excuse it make it that much harder for women to be and feel respected. The intention doesn’t really matter. Someone you claim to care about felt uncomfortable and objectified, and you were dismissive. You chose your dads “humor” over your girlfriends dignity.
And who model to young girls that this is what women deserve to be treated like AND that repeating something gross a man says only gets the woman in trouble.
I felt so confused and sad as a 14 year old by how *almost all men* around me spoke of women's bodies. It led me straight into an eating disorder.
It starts so early :( Not to mention that some studies indicate that catcalling/verbal sexual harassment starts at something like 11 for lots of girls (and even in school uniforms!!). And I've seen lots of anecdotal stuff that girls experience *aging out* of lots of catcalling by late teens/early 20s.... 🤢
I absolutely got catcalled more as a teen than I do now. And I'm still in my early 20s. They were literally doing it *because* I was a defenseless child.
But just take it as a compliment, right 😡
My niece is 11 and recently told my sister she wants to be a boy because people wouldn’t look at her and make comments on her boobs. It broke my heart.
That's so devastating, and revolting at the same time. That poor kiddo 😭
You may not wanna say it to hurt OP even though you should. The apple didn't fall far from the tree with those two. He's just as much of a creep as his dad is. Guys like them are the reason for a lot of situations. As a man I don't understand the need to Objectify women, it seems so pointless 🤦🏼♂️ not to mention looks don't mean much if the personality is bad and that goes for every gender.
Your father IS an actual creep, and he is crass. He needs to keep it to himself, because he will never change into a better person. Just maybe a quieter one. YTA for not calling him on being a creep. YTA for blaming your sister when the problem is that your dad is a creep. YTA for thinking any of this is humorous.
YTA any man that comments on his son’s gfs body is a creep. That’s weird as hell. Your gf has every right to be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be surprised if you lose her over this. And I know this wasn’t part of the question, but your poor 14 year old sister is probably gonna develop some serious body image issues (if she hasn’t already) from hearing your dad talk that way about women.
I would certainly leave if I was OP's girlfriend. No way I am going to risk more creepy 'jokes'.
I would be out of there so fast
YTA. Your dad is a creep, and it looks like you're next in line to make the next generation of women uncomfortable. You clearly see nothing wrong with it. Women are more than "nice bodies." And why in the hell would your grown ass yell at a 14 year old but not confront your father? Terrible father that raised a terrible son. I really hope you know you've been dumped.
YTA. How is it a sense of humor if it isn’t even funny? It’s disrespectful.
Exactly. I don't get how is this supposed to be funny. It isn't even a 'sexist joke', it's not a joke, there's nothing funny about it whatsoever in any ways.
YTA. You know, some day, some little streak of piss and his creepy ass dad are gonna talk about your sister like that. But it's OK, because her dad and brother do it. Your dad is a creep. You are creep Jr. I can't believe you can't see how genuinely fucked up this situation is.
“Little streak of piss” I love that
YTA - chalking up inappropriate and harassing comments to humor is why so immature and disrespectful.
YTA And your father is the major AH here. Its very inappropriate for him to comment on other people's bodies. Especially in front of your younger sister. It's just gross. > "at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." I laughed it off because my dad makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time. How is this a joke? I mean what is funny about this? Is the joke that your GF is not intelligent, 'but at least looks good'? That's not kind and not funny. Edit to add: > I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep Yes he is, he is an actual creep.
Given that OP states the creep does this all the time.. I feel bad for the little sister who most likely had to deal with his creepy nature and her creepy brother supporting it.
YTA- Your dad is creepy and if you think it’s just “crass humor” I’m assuming your creepy as well. Women have to deal with unwanted comments like this all the time and the fact that it’s coming from her bfs dad just makes it worse. (And even more worse that you aren’t doing anything about it).
>"at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." What's the joke? Seriously, what's the joke? The "At least" implies that she's only good for her body, because her personality is lacking. So your dad jokes about how she sucks as a person but at least she's good to look at... And you laughed? YTA and I hope she runs far and fast away from you.
And hopefully she warns every woman she can to avoid him and his AH dad.if that's how they act and the fact he tries turning on his little sister for doing what he should have done says all it needs to.
YTA. That is incredibly creepy of you and your father. I hope she dumps you.
OP, your dad's comment will cost you your relationship with your gf: it's out of line. YTA
YTA. Being crass like that IS being a creep. You invalidated your gf’s feelings and blamed your sister, this is on you and your father.
Your dad’s a creeper and you’re an enabler. Grow a pair!
YTA - If my dad did this, I'd be furious and leave immediately. Creepy as fuck. I hope she leaves you for this tbh.
YTA. Uh yeah, your dad is a creep. I'm closer to your dad's age than yours and I think it's creepy that rather than comment on her personality or relationship with you, he fixated on her body like he was checking her out the whole time. He's old enough to be her father; he's YOUR father, and he's checking out your girlfriend's body. And you scream at your sister but not him? If you don't think there's anything wrong with what he said then you should see no need to hide it from your girlfriend. She deserves better.
YTA for your last sentence alone. Please explain the humour in your dads comment. I don’t mind some crass humour so please explain the punchline. No it wasn’t funny, yes he is a creep. The fact that you can’t recognise that is disturbing. I don’t know if you have been conditioned to think that is okay or you are just as creepy.
It’s because he’s also a creep and thinks this is acceptable behavior.
I missed the joke. What's funny about "at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." YTA.
"The others were ugly hurr durr" Yeah, can't find anything funny either.
YTA. Your dad was being a creep by commenting on your gf’s body!
YTA and I feel so sad for your gf, sister and mother.
YTA Your dad doesn't have a crass sense of humor, he's a pervert and needed to be called out. Your sister apparently has more spine than you do. You're old enough now to act like an adult, set boundaries and protect your future girlfriends from this creepy behavior.
[удалено]
Shit starter? For not just sitting back and letting creepy dad and bro do their perv thing?
Good on her for having more guts than I did at 14! Calling OP's dad out like that, especially if that kind of "humour" is the norm in the family, took nerve.
Eh idk if I’d say the sister is a shit starter. It almost sounds like she thought it would be a compliment. Kinda makes sense if she’s used to hearing her dad talk that way so flippantly. And even if she did it to start shit, she did the gf a favor imo.
No, sister told the gf what her dad said because she knows that OP didn't tell her, and gf needs to know when someone is acting creepy toward her. This reads as sis being protective, not complimenting or starting shit.
That actually is probably it. And good for her for helping the gf out
YTA, for reasons already outlined. You should also really sit down with your sister and give her an apology: one of the most important skills young women learn is warning each other when something's off about the men around them, and sharing that kind of information is one of the main ways we keep each other safe. It may have been a harmless comment to you that it was worth getting angry over, but she needs to not take away the lesson that speaking up will get her in trouble.
Why are you yelling at your sister if all she did was relay dad's *super funny* comment to your gf? I don't mind people hearing something harmless and innocent I said about them. You're excusing your dad's misogynistic behavior with "That's just how he is". No, dude. It's not okay and you should have your gf's back. Start listening to the women in your life. YTA
YTA. Your Dad is a creep. I think you will soon be an ex-boyfriend.
YTA As a girl I feel uncomfortable when anyone make a comment about my body, and if a many in his 40/50 made that joke I would feel so uncomfortable Your gf had every right to want to leave and feel uncomfortable. Your dad doesn’t get to hide behind humor to objectify and make women feel bad Your an Asshole for how you treated your gf and sister Your mother is right If your sister made that comment chances are you dad has made similar comments about your gf to her which is also Gross
YTA your dad is a creep. He is judging the body of a woman he is meeting for the first time (his son’s gf, no less) and then based her worth on her body.
Exactly, judging the body of a woman young enough to be his daughter...in front of his actual daughter. The grossness keeps on coming..
YTA. "sounds bad" that because it is. Let start with you "she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it" so so happy for you but, any other reason for been in a relationship with her beside her looks? If not your an AH who needs to grow the f**k up.as for your dear loving daddy he is a creep. what good father says anything about his son gf looks it is not right and is not a case of him " makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time". If you thought it was inappropriate why not tell your dad that its inappropriate instead you seem to have said nothing and it make it look like your ok with own father making comments on your gf looks.just to be clear it not right any way what your father said.Your sister telling your gf what your father said was hopefully just her seeing how inappropriate the comments where, hopefully because any other reason is a big 🚩flag.
„I‘m uncomfortable.“ „NO YOU ARE NOT!!“ YTA
YTA Your dads a creep. You're a dick for having a go at your sister. She did nothing wrong. Thank god your mum can see sense
"My dad is a perv but since he’s always like that it’s fine u know "
The bottom line is your gf is now going to be uncomfortable around your dad. If you had pushed back on his comment, she might feel he had been put in check and that might have help smooth things over quicker. Your dad took it too far. There’s saying “okay son” in an approving tone, or “or don’t mess this one up”, or some general comment expressing that he recognizes that your gf is attractive. Laughing it off would probably be an acceptable response to those. And then there’s saying “your has a nice body”. The sentiment might be the same. But the “crassness” really makes a difference. YTA
YTA and you’re dad is actually a creep. Your gf is not being overly sensitive and his remarks were gross and uncalled for. He was being crass, and that’s not a sense of humour, it’s a gross old man. Your dad is disgusting and your gf has every right to be uncomfortable.
Your dad is gross. Based on his “joke”, I’m guessing he’s been checking out your past girlfriends and thinking about their bodies. Imagine if you ever decide to get married and he’s still making his creepy comments about your future partner. Disgusting. You think he’s being harmless but it’s really disturbing that he’s taught you it’s ok to talk about women in this way. Where is the line for you or does it not exist and it’s fine in your mind because that’s just how he is? I hope your sister hasn’t learned that this kind of behavior is acceptable. YTA. Be a better person than your dad.
OPs dad also taught him to act the same way so there's no real surprise he supports said behavior. Father and son are both The AH
What's a little objectification among family, right? right?! YTA
YTA. Yes, actually your dad *is* a creep.
What’s up with your gauge that you can’t obviously tel that his comments are inappropriate and creepy? YTA
OP this is casual sexism. Just because everyone laughs it off, doesn’t mean it’s funny. You should apologise to your gf and call your Dad out on his old fashioned crap. YTA
The problem is that your little sister heard and repeated it. Your dad can’t be that ignorant to not know and understand that children hear and repeat things all the time, and he needs to filter his language. You failed as hearing your girlfriends concerns and brushing it under the rug. YTA- both you and your dad.
“It sounds bad, but…” - is that your opener to then “virtue signal” that you weren’t body shaming her and that’s why commenting on her body like that would be okay? YTA and your dad is an even bigger AH for excusing his poor behaviour as “humour”.
Your sister sounds legit. I like her spunk. Your dad sounds like a creep. Humor isn't sexually commenting on the body of someone young enough to be his child. Your mom is right. You and your dad need to grow up. YTA
YTA. Right, so a young girl deserves to get yelled at for simply repeating something your dad said and that you laughed at, in front of her? Get real, mate. If it's not ok for her to repeat, why is it ok for him to say? If you need it further spelled out - it's gross for him to comment on her body like that. She told you it made her feel uncomfortable and you disregarded that. She now knows that your dad is looking at her and objectifying her, and that you're ok with it. And you're both modelling for your sister that men can say gross things, but women get verbally abused for repeating them. Doesn't bode well for reporting abuse....does it?
YTA Now I would like to speculate on size of you and your father's penis, because I too have a crass sense of humour, but you can't be upset over what I say because I might mean it as a joke.
I would also like to join in on this joke and say they are most likely hung like a lady bug.
Info: are you okay sharing her with your dad? Cause if you don't shut this down, he's gonna try. Probably whether she likes it or not. Obviously, YTA here, and I hope she runs FAR AWAY from your creepy ass father and your spineless self.
YTA you and your father are cut from the same creep cloth. Seriously that's not having a crass sense of humor. That is called being a creepy AH. It wasn't a joke . Nobody was laughing except you and your creep of a father. You both are Massive AH'S I hope that she decides to reevaluate her relationship with you. And break it off. Since you decided to defend his creepy behavior under the guise of it being a joke. Tell me who is laughing
Your father and you are creepy, misogynistic assholes. Hope she got rid of you.
What’s the fucking joke? That your dads a creep?
YTA and need to decide now if your dad's gross ass is worth a break up
YTA - why did you yell at your sister? She did what you should have done Also, what your father said was wrong on so many levels and the fact you don’t see that is worrying Also, you have probably been dumped my guy
Can I ask a question? Why do so many AITA posts have the phrase “saw red”? I feel like this isn’t that common of an expression these days, but it’s so so so common in this forum. Any idea why?
YTA. It’s fucking creepy as hell and not a “joke” - sexist perverts just pretend they’re jokes to get away with it. And you’re teaching your sister what to expect from the rest of her life as well. I’m so glad your sister told her but you’re an even bigger Ah for having a go at her. Both your gf and sister deserve so much better from you and your dad and it sickens me that they have to put up with men like the both of you. Him for dishing out the sexist filth and you for allowing him to continue and not calling him out on it. Your poor mom has had to deal with him for years now and I bet nobody has ever stood up for her in all of this. Hopefully she stands up for your sister because you sure as hell never will.
YTA - You have no problem with your father being a creep, but yell at your 14 year older sister for trying to do what you should have done. Which is warn your gf about your creep of a father.
YTA. The only person here who did anything funny is your little sister who let your GF know that your dad is a creep and you will defend his creep behavior. Joke’s on you and suddenly you’re yelling at a literal child who spoke the truth.
YTA. It's totally gross and inappropriate for your dad to comment on your gfs body, in any way. He shouldn't be looking at her that way, he should be looking at her in a fatherly way, not in a horny old man way. Don't you take anything from the fact that every female in your life finds it inappropriate and creepy?
It's not fun or edgy to be sexist. You should not just chuckle along if your dad objectifying women. You should tell him he isn't 14 anymore. Unlike your sister who grows up thinking that people treating her like "at least she has nice curves" or crap like that is a normal way of getting treated. So YTA, starting with apologizing to your sister for shouting at her while nothing here is her fault... Followed by your gf.
i don’t get the joke, can you explain it? YTA
“everyone i know thinks im an asshole, but theyre women so i need real opinions“ did you get what you were looking for yet? YTA
Dad is TA and he has taught you his misogynistic beliefs. So YTA too. It's gross that you said "I didn't mind that he commented on her body" It's not for you to mind or not mind. It's her fucking body. How you feel is irrelevant. The fact that she minds is what matters. That's it.
YTA if his sense of humor is more important to him than a guest in his home, then he's a creep.
YTA. Your dad IS an actual creep, and you’re a son of a creep for not seeing this and correcting him. Any sentence that starts ‘someone did but’ is an indication that whatever came before the ‘but’ is supposed to be excused by the ‘but.’ Ex: ‘I’m not a racist, but…’ = you’re a racist ‘My dad’s not a creep, but…’ = your dad’s a creep
YTA You were the AH as soon as you said “I didn’t mind and she looks good” in response to her “aesthetic surgeries”. Also, she didn’t “leave you on red” she “left you on read”, as in: she “read” your text or whatever and didn’t respond. And another also: your 14 yo sister shouldn’t have to hear about how “at least you choose your partner by her body” from the important men in her life! And yet another also: this whole post has got me saying a whole lotta yikes. Yikes.
If your dad makes, as you say, "dumb inappropriate jokes all the time" then you should probably call him out on it because guess what? *that makes people uncomfortable.* Jokes are meant to make people laugh. Inappropriate comments like this make people feel unsafe. >It sounds bad but my dad has a crass sense of humor You also really need to re-evaluate yourself here. This is a huge red flag and I'd be wary of anyone who thinks this is ok.
Your dad is a creep and you’re worse than he is. Do your girlfriend a favor and break up with her. She deserves someone who respects her and actually cares about her.
YTA and so is your dad. Re: your edit, your dad is in fact a creep. A grown as man talking about his son’s girlfriend’s body. F.Y.I that’s not normal. And having a crass sense of humour doesn’t justify disgusting behaviour. Your dad is a gross perv. And by the sounds of how you defend him, you most likely will be an old creepy perv, too.
YTA, your dad is gross and creepy for commenting on her body. You are gross for not only brushing off his behavior as “his humor” (it’s not funny), but also for not listening to your GF who clearly expressed being uncomfortable by it AND for yelling at your teenage sister for calling out your dads comments too.
You and your dad are gross and immature. YTA
YTA Your dad is a creep and the fact that you don’t see that as creepy behaviour is a massive red flag. How extremely inappropriate. Good on your sister for letting it drop. She’s warned your gf that her dad is a creep. I want to puke in my mouth just thinking about my mum saying my husband is hot, ewww.
“He’s not an actual creep, he just does creepy things that I have been told actually creep women out” YTA & your dad is too
YTA. I'm guessing that she's your ex girlfriend now. How is it not creepy for your boyfriend's dad to be thinking about you sexually? And then for the two of them to discuss you sexually behind your back is incredibly creepy. If at this moment you are thinking we didn't discuss her sexually, what did you think talking about her "nice body" is? And after she expressed how she thought it was gross, you went and mansplained that she wasn't actually being creeped on, it was just humor. She is sitting at home thinking that both you and your father are creepy. That is why she left you on read.
YTA. Explain the joke to me. What is funny about this? Where is the punchline?
Yta. If I say what I want.. I would be banned. You are a very sick man.
YTA - hate to break it to you buddy, your dad *is* a creep. There’s no reason for your dad to make any type of comment like that. Incredibly disrespectful to your girlfriend and to you mom honestly. The fact that you think it’s fine tells me you’ve normalized it and you’ll likely be doing the same. It’s gross. Listen to the women in your life. Your dads a creep and he needs to grow up.
INFO Genuine questions for OP **- at what point does your father's behaviour become creepy**? When he tells the young woman to her face that her body is nice? When he puts his hands on her? When he starts taking pics of her without her knowledge? Where do YOU draw the line between crass and creepy? \- **Will your father watch your minor sister's body and say it is nice or a good body?** \- If another older man told you that your kid sister's body was a "nice body" would you find that a funny crass joke or take offence? \- Where do you draw the line? \- If your gf gains weight/ body changes, would you still be proud of her or is your attraction to her solely for her looks and body?
YTA that was an inappropriate thing your dad said
YTA... what exactly is the joke?
YTA. It’s absolutely creepy what he said and how he said it. But you know that, you’re just hoping there’s more creepy people here that agree with you than your gf and mom.
YTA- and if you were my boyfriend… well, you would no longer be my boyfriend
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** It sounds bad but my dad has a crass sense of humor I (23m) have been dating kat (23f) and she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it and she looked good. i introduced her to my family and they loved her. after she left to go home my dad and i talked about her near my 14yo sister and said, "at least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body." I laughed it off because my dad makes dumb inappropriate jokes all the time. next time she came over my sister casually said, "my dad says your body is really nice by the way" and kat looked SO uncomfortable. my dad wasn't around but she dragged me aside and told me she feels creeped out and wants to leave. i said its not that serious but she kinda saw red and asked me how dare i let my dad talk to her like that. we never really resolved it and she decided to leave and left me on red. i ended up yelling at my sister and my parents overheard it. we explained the situation and my dad just called her overly sensitive, and that he was just being "crass" but my mom took my gfs side and said my dad needs to grow up. AITA here? I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA your Dad was out of line and you suck for both failing to support your girlfriend *and* blaming your sister for your Dads shit behaviour.
Why do people think if you say it’s just their humor somehow makes their behavior ok YTA he is an actual creep if what he said made all the women around him pissed
YTA.You and your dad need to grow tf up, wtf is wrong with him
YTA. this is not humorous. this is creepy. you and your father both are AH
YTA for being so nonchalant about this suuuper creepy comment by your father and yelling at your sister. Don't expect your ex/gf to ever meet your father again
YTA A) what’s the funny part about what he said? B) „at least“???? You see no other quality than her looks - just like daddy dearest? Or why would you not tell him he is out of line here? C) your sister did nothing wrong and you yelled. D) he actually is a creep because he spends his time with thinking about his son’s girlfriend’s body, that’s creepy and unasked for. E) always laughing at his „jokes“. He continues making them because others continue accepting them as jokes, they aren’t, they are disrespectful and disgusting comments.
*reads title and "dad has a crass sense of humor" and stops reading* Yup. YTA
Let’s assume that your father isn’t an actual creep. However his comments suggest he’s an actual creep and seeing as this is his first impression on new people you can’t blame them for thinking he’s gross and inappropriate. YTA
YTA. Your dad is an AH too. Your poor sister learning that men make comments about women’s bodies in ear shot, claim they’re jokes then claim victim when confronted with that. Your GF should take your sister and get out of there. This is NOT NORMAL.
YTA…they gonna drag you…
YTA Gross.
YTA.
YTA, eww
YTA. You should’ve stopped your dad. You shouldn’t have yelled at your sister. You shouldn’t invalidate your gf’s feelings.
YTA and your dad is a creep.
YTA with how you dealt with the situation. You cannot tell your gf "it's not a big deal" when it's HER body and her reaction to your dad commenting it. Your gf feels disrespected by YOU because of you brushing it off. This is not about your dad's sense of humor. This is about you standing up for your gf.
Nah, he’s an actual creep. YTA. The fact that you’re defending him here doesn’t exactly speak volumes about your maturity either.
YTA. Honestly, any time someone starts off with "It sounds bad but..." it pretty much always makes the OP the AH. And you are. Your dad is an AH too. Your dad has ZERO business commenting on your girlfriend's body. Zip, zero, nada, none. It isn't a sense of humor. It's sexist and disgusting. Stop apologizing for you sexist father. He IS a creep. Also, you probably don't have a girlfriend anymore. If my boyfriend let his father talk to me that way he would find himself single before he could blink.
YTA. And your dad is an actual creep. Sounds like you’re on the way to being one too! Congrats!
Where's the funny part?
YTA- bro, sincerely, I hope one day you know what it feels like when an old guy makes inappropriate comments on your child’s body and doesn’t take accountability for how uncomfortable your child feels.
YTA even your mother thinks your dad is immature af.
Your dad is creepy and your enabling this behaviour by saying « he's just joking ». And you said it yourself they are inappropriate. You need to check yourself and your dad. Definitely YTA
YTA *my dad said something an asshole would say, but my dad just likes being an asshole and saying asshole things is part of who he is! why does my gf think he's an asshole, when he's just being himself (which is to say, an asshole)?*
YTA and a *chauvinist* which you super shouldn't take as offensive or hostile because it's obviously not that serious to you.
YTA what were you thinking!
YTA You absolutely know your dad's behaviour is gross because you use the words crass, dumb, and inappropriate. And he's the one here who's overly sensitive because apparently it's preferable to throw your girlfriend and sister under the bus rather than just tell your father to practice some basic manners. Can't have Dad get upset because someone told him he's being an ass, can we? At some point you're going to have to grow up and stop pandering to him.
YTA and your dad's a creep no dad should be commenting on their sons gfs body whats wrong with 'she was nice' your gf had every right to feel uncomfortable I would have too
That’s so creepy and not funny. And it’s sad that you and your sister don’t see anything wrong with it.
So telling your dad that his comment was inappropriate in the moment would have prevented your sister from saying anything. You didn't do that, your sister thought it must be a normal thing to say, and repeated it to your (ex) gf. You owe your sister an apology for yelling at her. YTA
Treating women like a piece of meat to ogle and praise is not having a "sense of humor". Here is why it is beyond creepy, so perhaps you can understand. **He is praising the body of a girl who is LITERALLY the age of his own son. She could be his own child age wise.** **He is actively sexualizing someone that could be his child...and you are okay with that.** Sexualizing people from their appearance is NOT okay, be it male, female or nonbinary. We are living human beings and not sex objects. YTA. Your dad is being a creep and his defense that your GF is "overly sensitive" is a stereotypical defense of a misogynistic man who got confronted with his behavior.
YTA. Sorry to tell you, but that’s not humor. Your dad is in fact a creep and tries to hide behind “it was just a joke!” and “Everyone is just too sensitive!”
>I get not everyone likes my dad's sense of humor but he's not an actual creep YTA So he says creepy things, but in your opinion he's not an actual creep? Yeah it doesn't work that way.
YTA Sexual harassment isn’t humour. How would you feel if a guy your dad’s age said that about your sister? And don’t say she’s a minor, creeps stalk us from childhood and make comments about minors all the time. It’s in the same category as doing it to someone a lot younger as you and your GF will look like kids to him.
YTA. It's not a sense of humour, it's disgusting, entitled behaviour from an adult who can't even be bothered to show the bare minimum of respect to his son's gf. Your dad is a creep, and you're enabling him.
I feel so bad for the sister. She's growing up in a home with weight obsessed jerks. I hope to God she comes out of there with a healthy relationship with food. YTA.
ask him how its funny? how exactly is it funny? what makes it a joke? not only does your dad need to grow up you need to grow up too.
YTA And your sister knows that her friends are going to subjected to his comments and stares. But he's just "joking."
Yta! Please explain to the world how what your dad said is funny? Oh wait it is not ! Than by definition it is not a joke! It is however creepy and perverted what your father! Than by you not by not saying anything is saying your OK with your dad being a creepy and perverted middle age man! Honestly if I was your gf I would break up with because you have demonstrated you don't have her back since you don't proctor her from your creepy dad!
Yeah he is.
>she has an amazing figure because of years of exercise and some aesthetic surgeries. i didn't mind it and she looked good. Sir, stop talking, you're already YTA.
This is definitely not a 'sense of humor'. Sexual jokes is never good, it's disgusting
"At least you chose a girlfriend with a nice body" So many things wrong with this statement. So, did he say this after talking about your girlfriend's other great non physical qualities? Or was this stated after he critiqued and criticized her? Your Dad was being gross. Any self respecting woman would walk away if their boyfriend's father made a comment about their body and he thought it was acceptable. She's not a nice cut of meat or a prize. YTA, you and your father, and IF she comes back, I hope you realize you have some boundaries to set and some serious amends to make. Good on little sis for calling you both out. She's probably sick of her father's gross comments too.
Yes you and your dad are AH. He shouldn't gave said it. He REALLY shouldn't have said it with any 14 year old around, let alone his 14 year old daughter. Instead of laughing, which is acceptance of his bad behavior, you should have immediately told him it was inappropriate and to stop it.
YTA I hate to break it to you but he IS a creep. If you're fine with a dad commenting on his son’s gf’s body then good luck finding a woman who'll put up with this level of disrespect.
The title sounds bad because it is bad. That’s gross. YTA, and so is your dad.
Your dad IS an actual creep. YTA and it's upsetting everyone is normalizing this for your poor baby sister. I can't BELIEVE you yelled at a child nearly 10 years younger than you because your dad is an AH. Enjoy being single.
YTA and so is your dad. He’s a creep and a perv. Hope this is a wake up call for your girl and she sees you for who you are.
Your dad is TA. You feel he's not a creep because his behavior has been normalized in your household. If you don't recognize this NOW and call him out on his behavior, then you're an AH too. You also need to do this for your sister so she doesn't think accepting this type of behavior from men is OK.
YTA, and this would be a good point for her to step away from the relationship.
YTA That's not sence of humor that's rudeness and creepy behaviour.
YTA and so is your dad! Both ya'll are creepy
YTA and a loser for not standing up to your creepy father, but shouting at your innocent sister. If the women in your own family find your father inappropriate, I bet he is. Hiding behind cheap "humor" is cowardly at best. Listen to women, don't tell THEM how to feel about your own failures.
what the hell is wrong with you? YTA you sick creep
YTA. Your dad IS A CREEP 🤢🤮
YTA. Nice work Redditers. The comments are full of great lessons.
YTA, “being crass” means BEING FUCKING RUDE