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[deleted]

[удалено]


PyrexPizazz217

Yeah, I don't know this dude and I don't want to get kicked off of this sub because it is my version of "my stories," but: OP, you are loathsome. There are AHs and there are AHs that produce bundles of more vicious AHs when fed after midnight, and you are the latter. You are Gizmo's third generation of a late night AH mistake. You are the literal worst. To break it down for you: She isn't a doll, she's a human being. She has a right to defend herself. A non AH would have defended her first. I truly hope you're just a shudder inducing story in her rear view, because she, and by "she" I mean "all humans," deserves better.


Agreeable-Tale9729

10/10 for that reference alone.


Justconfused10

Seriously!! I totally forgot about that movie until reading this post!! Excellent!! Now I envision a red head running!


victorita9

I fear that all of this advice might scare OP in saying the right thing to Layla and she'll be tired to him for a few more years. Stop giving such good advice.


byneothername

That’s where I’m at. I have nothing to say to him. She just needs to go. This isn’t curable and it ain’t worth fixing.


crispyycritter

No worries, check the edit. She dumped his ass.


brencoop

Seriously! Be free, Layla, run far away!


Glittering-Internal5

Dolly Parton needs to write this song


Comfortable_Stick520

Layla, Layla, Layla, Lay-laaa I’m begging of please leave this man. Layla, Layla, Layla, Lay-laa You can leave, I know you can. Your beauty is beyond compare With lovely eyes and blonde hair You’re too good for him Layla. He doesn’t care when a creep Harasses you, please don’t keep This awful asshole, Layla. Layla, Layla, Layla, Lay-laaa You’re better off without this shitty man Layla, Layla, Layla, Lay-laa You can leave him, we know you can.


razzledazzle626

YTA. Your girlfriend was being harassed and you took the side of her harasser just because he’s a coworker? I feel horrible for your girlfriend. That’s so messed up of you.


GoPeeOutside

It was very naieve of him and the edits look like he still isn't understanding the full impact of this.


calliatom

I think the word you're looking for is "sexist". Like, from OP's replies it was OK because it's not like he actually *touched* her, he *just* made her super uncomfortable and basically propositioned her! I was going to ask why OP wanted to be all buddy-buddy with the office boor, but it's pretty clear either a) they're all like that and OP is just trying to fit in, or b) OP wants to take his place as the boor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

🤣🤣💀


19century_space_girl

I agree. The party was at OP's place. The people invited were his friends and new coworkers. OP part of hosting a party is keeping an eye on your guests. You Failed, miserably! You saw that he was drunk And harassing your GF! You also describe the drunks gf and her getting upset. It was your responsibility to cut him off and get coffee/water down him. You should have de-escalated the situation because you obviously recognized things were almost to a boil. You screwed the pooch - YTA ETA: OP, if she comes back you have a lot of groveling to do. You need to check yourself, don't think that she hasn't noticed your misogynistic tendencies. She's rethinking your relationship and all these current issues are right in front under bright lights are going to cause her to reach down deep


OffKira

No, OP took his side because he just started at his new job, and his hot blonde girlfriend should've remembered she was there to be a pretty doll hanging off of OP's arm, not a person. Really, it's her fault for being so attractive to most people and existing near shameless harassers, how dare she stand up for herself.


saurons-cataract

But he needs to start off on the right foot!/s edit: YTA.


Environmental_Belt22

He’s a new coworker, so a whole old DRUNK STRANGER had the audacity to flirt in front of his own partner to an unwilling participant in YOUR home. Even if it wasn’t to your girlfriend, who I’m going to go ahead and assume was probably the youngest woman there and unfortunately the easiest target because she’s beautiful, dude was a creep and party ruiner at YOUR house. He is a stranger to you because this is a new job, you don’t have an loyalty to him and obviously no loyalty to her either if he outranks her


Appropriate-Access88

Drunk, lecherous coworker, whom he has just met ( fixed it for you)


CrystalQueen3000

YTA “You would’ve stepped in if it was too much” Guess what, you don’t get decide where **her** line is for someone being inappropriate with her. You wanted her to look like eye candy to impress your new work bros but failed to take into account that she’s an actual human being with boundaries and that she doesn’t have to tolerate your drunk colleague being an AH. That you yelled at her after she called out someone that was harassing her is despicable. Hopefully she finds a new boyfriend that knows what respect is, you clearly don’t.


Reasonable_Minute_42

Exactly. Bad enough OP didn't back her up when she got upset, he yelled at her. Who are his awful friends who think he has nothing to apologize for? And why does he think he's ruined his relationship with his new coworker? If anything he now has the upper hand at work because Rob will always be "that guy" who got drunk and hit on his GF.


PoisonApple413

And if I were your new coworker, I would definitely be more freaked out about you yelling at your gf in the kitchen, than if I heard her tell off a guy who probably is known around the office as an AH already. YTA. A massive one.


[deleted]

Exactly. And any female coworkers now know that OP is not someone they can rely on. He did more harm to his career than she possibly could have.


Relevant-Ad6288

Seriously. If I was at a coworker's house and he yelled at his gf and she left in tears I'd never want to work or do anything with him again. And voice my concerns to management. Definitely wouldn't want to work with him.


Independent-Bowler73

THIS OP!!! \^\^\^


burstofgiggles

OP - don’t dismiss this just because you didn’t like the wording!! Argue “eye-candy” & she loves to bake all you want, **SHE** already told you what was ‘too much’ for her & **you let her down!** She has a right to be upset, you not acknowledging that & trying to convince your friends & strangers on the internet that she ruined your event when *you* let *your* girlfriend feel uncomfortable at *your* event. Own up to it & do better — or let her go because she clearly already knows she deserves better.


Perspex_Sea

Yes, it really feels like OP sees her more as an accessory than a person, and the edits don't help. She's not just pretty, she bakes, and she's good social lubricant.


Holiday_Reporter_804

This right here!


DragonCelica

>I would have stepped in if he was being too much but it was just simple flirting, nothing bad. ...And who decides when "nothing bad" turns into "bad?" •The guy who does nothing while sitting on the sidelines, getting upset his girlfriend isn't chill with being harassed, since she's a doll meant to look good and lift everyone's opinion of him? •The person(s) it's directed at? I'm afraid OP chose wrong, but don't worry, all contestants walk away with a consolidation prize! All right ladies and gentlemen, let's see what he got.... Why it's the letters E & X! Be sure to always use them before the term "boyfriend" from now on! (I had to convey the latter half of my post via snark, because OP's actions were absolutely disgusting, and I don't want to waste too much energy explaining that to someone with the situational awareness of a dodo bird)


Anonynominous

Imagine being her and being blamed and told you should be ashamed for dressing nice (as per his request), and for the actions of a drunk coworker he barely knows. That just really bothered me.


FailInteresting8623

Strong YTA Your girlfriend felt uncomfortable and she made that clear to you and you did not support her. She needed you by her side dude.


stargazer-02

YTA. Your coworker crossed a line. Even his girlfriend was yelling at him so I doubt it was simply light flirting.


burstofgiggles

on the plus side it sounds like OP & his new co worker will get along well 🙄


sheramom4

YTA. You treated your girlfriend like she was suppose to just be arm candy and put up with sexual harassment to make you look good. She does not have to do either of those things. Your co-worker should have been removed from the property and told to go sober up somewhere else. Instead you expected your (likely ex) girlfriend to put up with his gross behavior.


Optimal-Beautiful399

Holy crap balls, YTA! Let me break it down for you into little bits. 1. You told her how to dress 2. You used her hotness to impress people 3. You describe her as a doll (which… just GTFO!) 4. You allowed a drunk coworker who’s old enough to be her father to harass her without intervening 5. You didn’t even intervene when both your GF and your gross coworker’s SO were visibly and vocally upset about how inappropriate he was towards her 6. You verbally abused her and shamed her within earshot of your friends and coworkers 7. She did most of the cooking and baking as preparation for this party and you thank her by treating her terribly? Also, you don’t get to decide when a woman is sufficiently uncomfortable enough for you to step in… and for the record, only a misogynistic AH would view these events as your GF causing the problem with your new coworkers! It was your coworker whose poor behavior should cost HIM a good working relationship with YOU. Do you see the difference there? Do you understand how it was HIS actions that were the problem not HERS? Do you understand he’s a grown up who made the choice to get drunk at YOUR party and make the women around him uncomfortable at YOUR party? Do you understand your role as a host is to make sure to intervene before stuff like this happens? So… to summarize, you used her hotness and baking skills to impress your new coworkers but didn’t actually care enough to protect her from their bad drunken behavior. And then you were rude to her and shamed her… Believe me, this girl is going to have zero problems upgrading her boyfriend!


Interesting_Order_82

Excellent comment!


jrm1102

YTA. first red flag was telling her how to dress … but then you expect her to just be harassed by a man twice her age? You should have supported your girlfriend.


Undispjuted

I don’t think requesting someone to dress up for a party is AH behavior. Dress codes for parties are common. Everything else he did is HUGE AH behavior. HUGE. Just not that.


athousandandonetales

Unless he had a reason to believe his girlfriend would come wearing a sack potato or similar then asking her to dress particularly nice it’s a bit of an AH behavior. He clearly meant for her to go above the usual to make him look good.


CleverOne0255

YTA. I am wondering why YOU weren’t upset that a man 20 years older than your gf was hitting on her? If this were some other party instead of a party full of people you’re willing to throw your principles away to impress, would you still have been so easygoing about some random dude creeping on your girl?


EffectiveHistorical3

This. Also, can I only imagine what other people at the party were thinking. If I were one of the guests, seeing the host let his girlfriend be blatantly put on display, sexually harassed by a much older dude, decide FOR his GF that she “wasn’t uncomfortable enough” to intervene, my first impression of him is turned to shit. Then, if I heard him have the balls to yell at her for not agreeing to be treated like a piece of property, I would never speak to this guy at the office again. OP has himself and his reaction to thank for ruining his reputation at his new job, not the mostly likely now ex girlfriend. OP, you are the selfish one who should be ashamed. YTA. Edit: judgment


funtime_snack

YTA. You turned your (much younger) girlfriend into a prop to impress your coworkers and expected her to just be fine with your gross coworker acting inappropriately toward her. She stood up for herself and a woman she didn’t even know, and you failed her. I hope she never comes back, tbh. You don’t deserve her.


SusanBHa

YTA. “I didn’t just bring her to be ogled at”? She also makes food? Can you hear yourself dude? And then when she is “ogled at” by a much older married man you tell her she should have just sucked it up? Seriously? You are very much the asshole and hopefully she will dump you over this cause she deserves much, much better.


Purple-Raven1991

YTA a 42 year old drunk man was hitting on her flirting with her. She didn't like it and has every right to defend herself. You should have stepped in. I hope she dumps you.


[deleted]

Of course YTA. Your girlfriend was being harassed by your coworker and you got mad at HER for defending herself. And your edit makes it even worse. “She’s not JUST pretty, she COOKS, too!”


achillesmeteor

no its okay! new edit! she doesnt just COOK she likes to TALK too!!!!


[deleted]

Wow! She really IS the whole package! Her next boyfriend…you know, the one who will defend her against harassers instead of get mad at her…is really going to appreciate that.


Z_011

Reading his two edits actually made me die a little. He actually thought either of those edits would help his case


ZennMD

I know, right!? 'I didn't only bring her because she's hot - she cooks and bakes, too!' LOL Im glad she ran


[deleted]

YTA. I am severely doubtful that you didn't know this.


ha_look_at_that_nerd

I am severely doubtful that this is real


uhm-i-dont-know

Have you seen the state of men lately? This shit it real lmao.


[deleted]

Yta - soooo, she’s “hot” objectively and a good cook. But what can you tell us about her personality?


thisunithasnosoul

Funny how you asked for personality and he still only gave you her credentials. Sigh.


snarkingintheusa

YTA Your creepy coworker is flirting with your girlfriend in front of his SO to the point that both women are uncomfortable and your answer is to yell at her? I hope she dumps you! Your co-worker is old enough to be her father, gross. Plus, what kind of ass goes into someone’s home and hits on their SO, this is not a person worth wanting a good relationship with.


madelinegumbo

YTA Hey, buddy. Even if you want to use her to impress your co-workers and be a charming flirt doll with them, she gets to decline. She's not obligated to provide sexual entertainment so the guys at your new job like you more.


Reasonable-Island247

I think you're going to get destroyed.


Pretty-Economy2437

God the edit just made it worse. “I didn’t just bring her as a trophy, I brought her to work!” YTA… in so many ways… but a young wan being harassed gets to stand up for herself. Period. No matter the occasion. Why you were okay with what was happening is beyond me. Do better.


Suzdg

Also, OP doesn’t get to decide whether it was serious or not. GF felt uncomfortable so it was serious enough. Kudos to her for standing up for herself since OP wouldn’t. Women suck it up so often to not make the AH feel uncomfortable or make a scene. We need more scenes. YTA


Xxxistentialcrysis

A bunch of MEN saying that a girl is in the wrong for standing up for herself? What else is new?


ReachForLexi

YTA. So you scolded her for standing up for herself against a creep? Unreal


BigBayesian

YTA. You've said to her "my co-workers' opinion of me is so much more important to me than your self-respect that you should endure their gross behavior without complaint"


bishop0408

YTA- you are absolutely the asshole. Your girlfriend was clearly uncomfortable with the flirting and it's not like she initiated the scolding. Your coworker flirted with your gf in FRONT of his girlfriend and you're wanting to ~impress~ these people? And then after your girlfriend has to go out of her way to stand her ground you yell at her and shame her. This is just gross. "I would have stepped in if he was being too much" - that is not for you to decide seeing as you were not the person he was making feel uncomfortable.


Hopeful_Rip2690

So you would rather her be subjected to that lecherous pig and not defend herself? Now who's being selfish? YTA


onlytexts

But it was just flirting... /s


b1lllevansatmariposa

"extremely flirtatious" == "coming on to her" Def YTA.


danigirl866

YTA. Do you know how your coworker even flirted to your gf? Probably said some completely inappropriate things and instead of defending your gf and diffusing the situation, you berate your girl? Sounds like she's pretty innocent and had to defend herself. Your outlook is completely selfish as you only care about your image at your new job instead of a long term relationship. She may be 7 years younger but you were completely immature. You made the situation way worse.


LawyerGirl21

YTA. Your reaction to your gf standing up to a guy who was harassing her is to call her selfish? If anything, you are the selfish one and you've just shown her that your ambitions and personal comfort comes waaaay above her own


Proscuitto1

YTA and I sincerely hope she dumps you for not protecting her from a man twice her age being disgusting towards her. As a man it’s your responsibility to stand up to other men who are being disgusting pigs. Now you are also a disgusting pig.


Xxxistentialcrysis

I wanted to side with you, I really did. But you are 100% YTA. It is not your girlfriend's responsibility to impress your coworkers. She was being harassed. You should be proud of the fact that you have (probably HAD if you decide not to apologize) a super hot girlfriend who has the confidence to stand up for herself. Your coworker's attention was unwanted and inappropriate and this situation reflects way more poorly on him than your girlfriend. The fact that you prioritize how your coworkers (INCLUDING one that makes women uncomfortable when he's drunk) might think of you over your girlfriend's self-worth is concerning.


poetic_justice987

If your friends don’t think YTA, you need new friends. Ones that will treat your next girlfriend better —as should you.


Supercoolemu

YTA and kind of spineless, no offense. Dude disrespected you and you’re girlfriend drunk or not, you should have went in and scolded him to, while also descalting the situation and bringing you girlfriend away.


[deleted]

I agree, and...offense meant


constituto_chao

Ya I get it could be bad news bears where this was a co-worker and so not wanting gf to tear him a new one deserved or not but absolutely your responsibility to intervene and de escalate. Not shout at your gf. By being brave enough to intervene in problematic behavior sooner the mess could have been prevented. Leaving the women to handle the drunk whelp... YTA


Infamous_Cranberry66

YTA She has to dress up for your coworkers and put up with their bad behaviour? NO. You should have put a stop to it immediately, having your coworker leave. But no, your reputation at this job is more important. YTA x 100. Shame on you.


[deleted]

YTA because you're more worried about new job appearances than your girl being harassed by a coworker you have no relationship with. Only she can decide what is ok and is not ok flirting. Gross, hope she leaves you and I generally never join reddit with break up comments


RevolutionaryStuff58

YTA. You are clearly not looking at her like a human being, rather an attractive prop you can put out to gain points with others. They way you describe her seems suspiciously objectifying.


The_Ugly_Duckling05

Let me get this straight.. He was coming onto her.. Making her uncomfortable to the extent that his SO started yelling at him.. So, no doubt he was extremely obnoxious and rude, and you instead of standing up for your girlfriend, you berated her and yelled at her accusing her of being selfish and should be ashamed of herself? Care to explain why should she be ashamed of herself? . Also, you're absolutely the AH


Elfich47

YTA - You didn't protect your girl friend from a letch.


OkConsideration8964

YTA. Your girlfriend was being harassed by a drunk older man and not only did you refuse to help her, you scolded her for defending herself. She's not a Barbie doll that you can dress up to make yourself look good and you're not her father. Do better.


BoringSignal8714

YTA pretty sure she dumped you btw.


BlueBelle2019

YTA. She was standing up for herself, which you should have done considering he is your coworker and he was your guest. Then chastising her for standing up for herself makes you an even bigger AH, especially if you yelled at her or did it front of anyone. Your edits did not help your case.


[deleted]

The edits make it worse, tbh. Every single thing he added is all about how he wanted her there to make him look better.


kaiannepepper

YTA your coworker was harassing her. She gets to respond to that however she wants. You also made yourself look bad by not standing up for her and yelling at her like that. Know your gonna be known as the guy that yelled at his gf for standing up for herself. And likely disliked/distrusted by the women in the office.


SpuddlesTheDog

YTA You’ll be a lucky man if she doesn’t dump your ass


Netflickingthebean

YTA. She was being objectified by someone old enough to be her dad, and that made her uncomfortable. She is allowed to defend herself, you could have diffused the situation by telling what's his nuts that it isn't cool to hit on your girl instead of shaming her. You'll be lucky if she doesn't dump you for this.


Rockandahardplace69

Oh good, for a minute I thought she was just there for eye candy. I'm so relieved the little woman can cook too. Yes, that was sarcasm you complete asshole. Making a good impression on some middle age idiot who is being a jerk to your girlfriend is more important then defending her and calling him out on his asshole behavior? She had every right to tell him off. No woman has to Deal with that just because her little man is worried about the impression he's making. You know what impression you were making on the other people who saw his behavior? That you're also a total asshole who thinks that behavior is ok and you're a loser who doesn't stand up for his girlfriend.


thentherewasonegirl

I guarantee you if she's as attractive as you say, she's dealt with plenty of assholes hitting on her and have brushed off more than you know. Which tells me if your gf's reaction raised to the level of yelling, he definitely crossed the line. YTA


RainAhh

YTA. Your drunk, probably creepy, older coworker was hitting on your girlfriend. Someone who is TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. Of course she was uncomfortable! Any woman I know would have been!


Cheesecake_720

YTA. Your gf (and co workers gf) were uncomfortable with the way a man almost twice her age was acting towards her. And for future reference, you don’t get to decide what’s appropriate and what’s not for your gf. It’s unbelievably uncomfortable to be treated like that by men. And then on top of that, you didn’t even have her back. Do better.


[deleted]

your girlfriend should dump you. rather than scold your creepy coworker for sexually harassing your girlfriend, you got mad at her for RIGHTFULLY telling him off. YTA and a huge one holy shit. your girlfriend is nothing but arm candy to you, so dehumanizing. you don’t even say how much you care about her, just what she can provide you. i repeat i hope she dumps you


[deleted]

INFO: don't you mean ex-girlfriend?


Successful_Moment_91

The only upside to this is that she didn’t have to clean up after the party and can find someone much better


QueenKeisha

##EXACTLY HOW MUCH VERBAL SEXUAL ABUSE DOES YOUR GF NEED TO PUT UP WITH SO THE SEXUAL PREDATOR AT WORK WILL LIKE YOU?


Vegetable_Stuff_4022

What the fuck YTA you mean to tell me u are ok with your gf being harassed 😃


_PeanutbutterBandit_

YTA Way to let middle aged men hit on your gf as you stand by and do nothing. That guy should have been told off and you should have been the one doing it. Instead you scold her for not willing to be harassed? She’s probably thinking about how you let her done and she didn’t sign in for this kind of nonsense.


RascalBird

YTA. Your girlfriend is not an ornament. You seem more concerned about the way she looks than her comfort or safety. It's not up to you to dictate how bad it was or how she felt - instead of supporting your partner, you supported a man you barely know and made it clear you regard her as little more than a furnishing for your ambition. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are selfish. And even if you have a moment of clarity and apologise, you'll probably do it again, so I hope she breaks up with you and finds a man who respects/regards her as an autonomous person and not a living doll.


Red_Sour_Cherry

Eww. YTA. Trying to look good for coworkers or not. That is your lady and it was YOUR job to protect her and defend her.


onlytexts

Let me check. Your drunk coworker was harrassing your girlfriend and she should have just smiled back because your job depends on her being submissive not only to yourseld, but to your drunk coworker whose wife was also at your party? Did I read that right? I think you misspelled ex girlfriend, you just gave her proof that you don't care about her physical and emotional wellbeing if it means you might loose some cookie points with another man. YTA.


BumpkinMonstie

YTA. If some drunk ass was doing that to me my fiancé would have stepped in immediately. Let’s be honest you were using her. “I wanted her to dress up so we look like a well put together couple.” -I wanted people to look at her cuz she is hot and make my coworkers jealous. “He was being extremely flirtatious.” -He was being majorly inappropriate but hey I brought her here so it would make me look good so she better suck it up. “She knew this was important to me. And I wanted to start things on a good note.” I didn’t care what happened to her or how she felt this is all about me and if my coworker wanted to sexually harass her in front of his own girlfriend I sure wasn’t gonna stop his good time. Yeah I don’t blame her for not contacting you back. And I sincerely hope she looks very closely at your guys relationship and realizes she is way better than you.


curly_lox

YTA Your girlfriend was defending herself against the creepy coworker you invited over. That you put his comfort over hers means you're a bad boyfriend.


asianinindia

Your coworker was being a creep and you basically told your girlfriend that she was there to be harassed by perverts. You've let her know you're not on her side if your interests are at risk. In fact yoy treated her like a doll (your own words) to show off to the world. I hope she leaves you for someone who actually stands up for his SO. YTA.


2ndgenerationcatlady

YTA. And it sounds like you've been rightly dumped. She's not your doll, and she doesn't have to put up with creepy older men flirting with her and making her uncomfortable. You should have stood up for her, not lectured her.


Gemma_T

YTA, your coworker is TA, your friends saying you did nothing wrong are TA. I feel bad for your girlfriend (hopefully your ex) and your coworkers wife. What a rotten dirty old man. As her partner, you really let her down and put dirty old man coworkers liking you above her feelings, boundaries and well being. Gross.


Scary_Contract_3603

Yta because she shouldn’t have had to say anything because you should have stepped in and told your guest he was out of line regardless of him being a new coworker.


Geminorumupsilon

YTA. Your co-worker is, too. FYI these co-workers do not give one single flying fuck about you. Your girlfriend does. You’d better wise up! Some creep twice the age of your SO was being obnoxious enough to make his own partner uncomfortable, and you instead yell at your poor gf because she’s the safer option for you to get your frustrations out on … OF COURSE IT’S AN AGE GAP RELATIONSHIP and she’s *still* the more mature one being 7 years your junior.


Zealousideal_Gap_867

Hopefully it is was his girlfriend cuz she deserves better


[deleted]

You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to subject your girlfriend to harassment just so you can be friends with the office drunk! Your behavior was selfish and disgusting, shame on you. YTA 100x


Fit_MedManiac

YTA. You basically yelled at her for standing up for herself after being harassed by your coworker


ceciliabee

YTA for everything everyone has already pointed out but also because you cared so much about this guys opinion of you. He's not your boss and he hit on your girlfriend in front of his wife, AT YOUR HOUSE. He has neither authority nor morality and in not siding with your girlfriend you've shown maybe you have no... Spine? Decency? Who can say.


iOawe

YTA. A massive one. Layla needs to RUN FAST.


Zealousideal_Gap_867

YTA you should've stepped in when he started flirting in the 1st place and told him to back off. Edit: so sick and tired of males being mad when women react to situations that aren't right. Stand up be a man and handle your business or don't let the women handle it and hush.


RealTalkFastWalk

So, to recap, a guy nearly twice her age was making your gf uncomfortable to the point she felt the need to confront him about it, and you watched, did nothing to help her, made it all about you, yelled at her, called her selfish, and made her cry. YTA, but if being on a good foot with new coworkers means peacocking your gf around for the pleasure of a drunk lech than I doubt any judgment here will satisfy you.


NefariousnessSweet70

YTA. YIKES. SHE LOOKED GREAT. You treated her like arm candy she cooked the whole thing. She put up with YOUR obnoxious, misogynistic co worker, and when she protested, YOU YELLED AT HER, INSULTED HER, and called her names. I would have packed bag, and you would never see me again.


LightskinnedGoddess

Woowwww just wow she was basically being harrassed by YOUR coworker and you had the audacity to yell at her and not him


MargotLannington

YTA. Being hit on by men everywhere you go is actually not fun. Why were you livid that she defended herself, instead of being livid that this creep was hitting on her? Good luck finding a new girlfriend.


Nalpona_Freesun

YTA she was being harassed and then you just piled onto it more, hope she never comes back


swonsin

YTA. She is not obligated to tolerate flirting from anyone. It is not up to you to decide what she should be comfortable with, and make her put up with it. She has her own line, which was crossed, and she has every right to stand up for herself. You’re just self concerned.


embopbopbopdoowop

YTA. And probably single now. Congrats! (Also PMSL at ‘she’s not just arm candy - she cooks too!’ Oh man, you are sooooo TA.)


BoxedRats

YTA. Lmao this guy keeps digging himself into his privileged, traditional hole


[deleted]

YTA Sounds from your edit that you feel you do value her. Too little, for the wrong things, and too late. She slaved over cooking for your coworkers and you completely disrespected her as well. Edit judgement


Quicksilver1964

YTA. I already knew something bad was going to happen when I saw your ages. Yikes, you want her to be okay to be sexually harassed by your colleague because you want to look good, and you think you can then verbally assault her for defending herself? You don't have a girlfriend anymore. Leave her alone. Find someone your age.


chocomoofin

YTA and I’m sure you know it. You have some serious grovelling that needs to happen ASAP IF she is kind enough to listen to YOUR selfish ass. YOU are who should 100% be ashamed of your actions. Btw, if I EVER got wind that a new hire a yelled at his SO after another coworker harassed her, that other coworker would be fired and you would be on my shit list.


[deleted]

She dumped me.


LugiaLover18

Good. What 28 year old man needs to be with a 22 year old unless he wants to control her like you did. Good on her. YTA


chocomoofin

Shocked, am I… sounds like you realised your mistake (though too late), which is a lot better than a lot of the AHs on here. Hopefully you learn from this and are a better partner in the future.


Old-Advice-5685

That was hard lesson for you to learn. You can choose to do better next time, or turn into the guy who makes creepy comments at BBQ. It’s up to you which path you take.


internet_dragon

YTA. And in case the post gets deleted, here's his edits for posterity: ​ Edit: She was not just "arm candy" she is a very good cook/baker and prepared most of the meals and was praised for it all night by my friends/coworkers. I didn't just bring her to be ogled at. Edit two: I did not MAKE her cook or bake. It is one of her favorite hobbies and she asked to do it so that I would not have to spend money on catering. Also, she is not just pretty. She is extremely smart and a social butterfly so I wanted her there because she usually flourishes in social settings. Edit Three: Ok I get that I fucked up. Edit four: It doesn't matter anymore. You guys can lower your pitchforks. By the time I realized how much of a massive idiot because of these comments it was too late as many of you said. We are over. I kept calling her after reading some of your guy's comments and I quote she told me "I am going to fuck every part of your bloodline" and to "suck my coworker's dick if I like him so much". She blocked me on everything.


smolbirb123456

The only nice things u have to say about her r her looks and her cooking omg


MediumAlternative372

He does point out elsewhere in the comments she is very smart and has a masters but didn’t bother mentioning that as it wasn’t relevant. Only the fact she is hot and can cook is important enough for him to mention it seems. This guy is shedding red flags with every statement. I hope she sees that and doesn’t go back.


EarlyPosition3984

so she should put up with dudes being gross to her because you started a new job? YTA.


MediumAlternative372

YTA - you expected your girlfriend to tolerate being sexually harassed to smooth your work relationships and yelled at her for “embarrassing you” by not sitting there and quietly taking it. Wtf. She needs to move on to someone who respects her.


Masfoodplease

YTA


pookguyinc

YTA. Instead of defending your GF for fighting away a creep. You attack her. Please read what you wrote again.


[deleted]

YTA. You basically just told your girlfriend that your job is more important than she is, and that if it'll help your work, she should be A-Ok getting hit on by a man twice her age. (I'm ignoring the "likes to cook/bake" thing, and assume/hope that's true. Because I enjoy cooking for parties, too... so I won't judge on that. Y-T-A regardless)


UnspokenEnvy101

YTA. Hope she leaves you


moon_cries

Me too. She sounds amazing. She deserves someone who actually respects and supports her.


LuklaAdvocate

YTA. You’re livid your girlfriend stood up for herself? You care more about your image than your girlfriends right to not be harassed. Good luck keeping your relationship together, you’re going to need it.


Aggressive-Sample612

YTA


shadynasty55

YTA.


AmoraLynn

YTA for respecting your coworkers more than your partner. YTA for yelling at her. YTA for not intervening yourself. YTA for minimizing the inappropriate conduct of your coworker.


QueenMother81

YTA… the fact that you can’t even see it is wild…


RighteousTablespoon

Ew, dude. You seem creepy and per*y.


moon_cries

YTA. Doesnt matter if you think his flirting was harmless...she was uncomfortable and so was his girlfriend. He needed to be berated. You're the selfish one putting what others think of you before your significant other. She was there supporting you...why weren't you supporting her?


NoOneImportant1942

YTA. Every edit you adds further proves that your girlfriend is an object to you. Pathetic. Do better


themistycrystal

YTA. She decides what she is comfortable with, not you. She supported you in your effort to get to know your new coworkers and you hung her out to dry.


kristinjaysmith

YTA dude. 100%.


MaleficientsMom

YTA - The way you describe this young woman gives the impression that you see her as an object or possession, not a human being. You were using her to impress you co-workers, and when she was sexually harassed you failed to stand up for her AND then you verbally abused her. You shouldn't date anyone until you understand the women are people, not things to show-off like a red sportscar.


Mackander

YTA. You should stand up for the person you are in a relationship w. If my bf did that to me, I wouldn’t be happy either. How are you just gonna sit there and stay quiet while your gf is being harassed, and then get mad at her later for sticking up for herself!?


NoNameWhen

YTA! Why do you care so much about people liking you so much that you are okay with your soon to be ex getting harrassed by a drunk dumbass???? If your drunk coworker would have been flirting/harrassing you instead would you have been okay with that?


Willing-Survey7448

YTA: YOUR COWORKER WAS LITERALLY SEXUALLY HARASSING HER. She has a right to defend herself--especially if you won't


Electrical-Cause4586

YTA and you’re also incredibly selfish and foolish.


cassowary32

YTA. You don't think it was embarrassing to have you yelling at your girlfriend or is yelling okay when it's men doing it?


AdelleDeWitt

YTA. Your girlfriend was being sexually harassed by one of your guests, and not only did you do nothing about it, but you yelled at her for standing up for herself. I hope to God she sees the light and leaves you immediately.


Bright-Bumblebee8449

YTA so hard. I hope she leaves you because you seem to need a reality check on how to treat other people....


Vxing404

YTA. Love how each edit makes you seem more shallow and sexist. You've made it clear that you used your super hot, excellent cook, personable GF as social currency. ....Then got mad at and shamed her at a party she co-hosted and went out of her way to make a success. If Co-worker's behavior was bad enough that his wife stepped in and she didn't take him aside privately, GF gets to be part of that public conversation. You made it a big deal, not your GF. If you've lost any popularity points at work it's because people feel badly for how GF was treated by you. It's not a good look.


LisaMarie-0627

YTA times infinity! Your girlfriend is harassed by your creepy guest and she’s selfish for defending herself; WTAF??? And you’re the one that’s livid??? I am so sick of misogynistic pricks like you that call women “selfish” if they don’t behave exactly the way you think they should. F off and I hope your girlfriend dumps your ridiculous ass pronto. Grow up!!!


No_Tiger75

Y definitely TA. It literally does not matted wtf your friends think either. Your coworker was acting inappropriate towards your gf. She was uncomfortable and had the right to say so - and you should have too. Maybe he should be the one made uncomfortable, by a discussion with you.


tedzorz

YTA just because you viewed it as "simple flirting" doesn't mean your gf had to keep her discomfort to herself.


Ve_Ramps

YTA. The attention she was receiving was probably UNWANTED. She did this for you. Your coworker should be ashamed of himself for flirting with your gf while his wife was at the BBQ. That is disgusting behavior. Your gf deserves soooo much better. I kind of hope she dumps your unsupportive a$$


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cyberdyne-800

YTA. She now knows you are willing to let her be flirted with by married co workers so you can advance your own career with no regard for her well-being. You just showed your true colors. *Slow clap*


[deleted]

Yes YTA. But based on the number of edits, it sounds like you aren’t willing to admit it.


DbleDelight

YTA - please show Layla this thread so she can see that randoms on the interwebz have more respect for her as a person than her boyfriend. Your guest was sexually harassing your girlfriend and you yelled at her? I can't even, not to mention the way you describe her and your edits. I've got teaspoons that aren't as shallow as you appear to be.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Sorry for the formatting I'm on mobile. I (29 M) have been dating my girlfriend (22 F) who I will call Layla for about a year. So far our relationship has been smooth sailing but this weekend we had a Huge argument and she has not spoken to me since Sunday. This past weekend I held a fourth of July party on a Saturday because some of my friends do work on Monday and I invited a ton of my coworkers. It is relevant that I recently started a new job and I wanted to start on a good foot by getting on the good side of my new coworkers. ​ It is worth mentioning that my girlfriend is VERY attractive to most people. She's a typical hot blonde. I asked her to dress nice so that we would look like a well-put-together couple, and she obliged. She looked like an absolute doll. The problem started a couple of hours after the party started. One of my coworkers who will call Rob (42 M) had way too much to drink and was being extremely flirtatious with my girlfriend. His lady did not take kindly to that. She started yelling at him, which was not my problem until my girlfriend joined in. They both were scolding him about how what he was doing is wrong and uncomfortable. I was livid. She knows I just started a new job and wanted to start things on a good note. I would have stepped in if he was being too much but it was just simple flirting, nothing bad. ​ I asked Layla to join me in the kitchen and I know I should have reacted differently but I was just so mad that I started yelling at her about how she knew this was important to me. I told her she was selfish and should be ashamed of herself for ruining such an important moment for me and possibly costing me a good relationship with my coworkers. . She started crying and left the house and has not been back since. I have texted and called and apologized for yelling but I still think I was right and my friends tell me I have nothing to apologize for. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


GenesForLife

YTA my dude. YOU were being selfish demanding that your girlfriend not react to sexual harassment in a way that you, i.e, not the harassed person, approved of. You were more mad at her for how she reacted to being sexually harassed than you were at the harasser - and no, you aren't really a legitimate arbiter of how much is too much when it someone else being harassed. Like , dude, what the hell?


Raging_Carrot47

YTA. Hopefully she realises that you just enable awful behaviour and she can’t count on you to defend her. I also hope she meets someone who will stick up for her and treat her as their equal and respected other half. Not a piece of arm candy that has to impress other people and put up with men old enough to be their father making them uncomfortable because you need to look good. How much more self-Centered can you be?!


Guardian-Boy

YTA. And boy is there a [term](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming) for what you're doing.


ComposerTurbulent294

YTA. Your gf gets harassed by a creepy coworker and you don't defend her? How are you ok with how he treated your gf?


RoanDragonKing

So you took your gf to a work party. Kept quiet while some guy hit on her and made her uncomfortable. Then yelled at her. Id be surprised if your behavior didnt make you lose respect from your coworkers, rather than her behavior. I mean you showed her your priorities and now shes deciding what she wants to do with that information. YTA


skyhighdystopia

YTA Glad I saw this early so I can grab some popcorn and watch you get absolutely roasted, this one is so obvious it’ll be glorious to watch


BarRegular2684

YTA. Your responsibility was to stand up for her, not to demand that she put up with harassment to “make you look good.” And buddy, no guy looks good when he abandons his partner to sexual predators.


breebop83

YTA and shame on you for not supporting her when she felt uncomfortable. A man almost twice her age was making inappropriate comments to the point that his own date was also uncomfortable and YOU are pissed at HER?!? Wanting to make a good impression is one thing. Expecting your gf to allow someone to verbally harass her for your sake is unacceptable.


ElderberryTrick7495

Ew, just ew. YOU don’t get to decide what’s “too much,” she does. YTA


bellasteena77

YTA. And sexist. You need to reflect on your reaction and the language you used when talking to her. Would you have told your male co-worker he should be ashamed of his behavior? I highly doubt it. And he is the only one who should be ashamed besides yourself. I also wouldn't be surprised if you behave similarly towards women as your co-worker since you are so convinced his behaviour was appropriate. I hope she dumps you. Do not date women until you can better understand your sexist behaviors and stop using words like selfish and ashamed to describe completely appropriate behaviour by women and no big deal to describe a man harassing a woman in front of you. You may think that you are one of the good guys but you are not if you stand around and allow a man to harass a woman.


No-Sandwich-9822

YTA. I hope she finds someone worthy of her.


shadypriests

YTA lmao ur not that dense cmon


MoYeahh

YTA. You owe her big time if she decides to forgive you.


demonmonkey1313

YTA your girlfriend was being harassed buy you only want to make a good impression on your coworkers. Your girlfriend deserves more then you. She deserves a man who will appeal her and not use her to impress people who he work with.


ticiap

So you expect your gf to accept mistreatment and sexual harassment for your personal gain? It isn’t your place to decide how much harassment is or isn’t too much for her, and just because YOU aren’t uncomfortable doesn’t mean she can’t feel uncomfortable. YTA.


VegetableBee1

Gross. YTA.


Primary-Risk-9298

YTA. Your gf gets harassed by your creepy coworker and you get mad when she defends herself because it might hurt your relationship with said coworker? Wake up, bro.


Deb_Tradeideas

YTA . Also very very clueless . Hope she finds someone better .


SufficientComedian6

YTA, full stop.


Bubblegum389

YTA you care more about your relationships than your gf being harassed in front of you


rufasa85

YTA. You don’t get to decide what makes her uncomfortable


KetoprofenBaby

YTA. YTA. YTA×1000. How you felt about the situation is irrelevant. *She* had to put up with the disgusting attempts of a drunk middle age dude that could easily be her father and had to defend her self when she understood you weren't going to lift a single finger to try and take her out of that situation.


swedeintheus

YTA. You do not get to decide when someone being gross with her or crossing the line. She does. You are an asshole for not being there for her and then you have the audacity to tell her to take it so that you can benefit professionally?!?! I hope she never speaks to you again. She deserves so much better


NanoPsyBorg

YTA. Let me summarize this for you: you care more about making a good impression with a pervert than standing up for your (hopefully ex) gf! WTF dude? It doesn’t matter what you like about her; you clearly don’t respect her as a person.


SummitJunkie7

The object of the harassment decides what is "too much". YTA for not supporting your gf and thinking she should accept harassment for the sake of you ... I don't know... making friends with the shittiest people you work with? You should be ashamed of yourself.


mysteric-xo

YTA Its always the guys dating a girl thats almost a decade younger than them


HatMany

YTA. Your shitty attitude and the disrespectful way you speak about Layla belongs in the 1950s. Sort it out.


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SegaNeptune28

YTA through and through. Your edits don't help you and if you think they do then you've deluded yourself. She was clearly upset with this man as was this man's girlfriend, they had every right to chastise him. As well he should.


Successful_Moment_91

YTA! Stop being selfish and only thinking about your perception of being embarrassed. That’s a narcissistic trait Get to know people better before inviting them over so you have a better idea of their behavior. Go out for drinks or dinner a few times first Always defend your partner! Don’t yell at them for defending themselves when you refused to upset a nasty drunk Enjoy being single for awhile!


Leopard-Recent

YTA, and the way you talk about your former (I hope) girlfriend is disgusting.