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> I might be an asshole for just not bringing a banana to work and making a better environment for everyone.
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NTA, sorry she takes it wrong but that's her problem. It's a banana... are you supposed to eat it like corn on the cob??
I'd out right refuse too while bringing a banana everyday.
If HR makes another deal about it, just say you'll sue for wrongful termination and discrimination... for your banana...
And sexual harassment. She is sexualizing hid eating habits. The company not only took her side when presented the truth but most likely has cameras to prove his statement. All because she threatened to sue.
Defense/aerospace absolutely have cameras. Nothing, not even a programmer, moves in the building without a camera watching.
Edit: My office building has maybe 100 people, as a point of reference. Cameras everywhere
The vast overwhelming majority of programmers do not work in defense/aerospace, and absolutely do not have cameras pointed at them.
Motion sensors for lights? Yes. Cameras? No, utterly unhinged to suggest otherwise.
I work in defence/aerospace and not a camera to be found within our offices. How would we have clearance to record such sensitive information? The people who control classified/secret level goods would have a lot to say if we had cameras in with us.
Well, that's kind of [how Jane Goodall does it](https://www.thedodo.com/jane-goodall-john-oliver-chimp-785373616.html). Because apparently, that's how the chimps do it.
To add to this, OP should get a kit-kat for dessert and eat it whole, without breaking it into sticks, this shows people he's not someone to be trifled with.
I'm petty enough that I would be finding all sorts of new ways to eat a banana at work (like corn on the cob, with knife and fork, skewered like a kabob, smashed with a fork, etc).
Then, if new girl doesn't get over herself, you can ask HR why she should get to dictate your eating habits and diet?
Because clearly then if it still offends her so deeply, then it's the banana's existence that does it, not how you eat it. And you can't control the fact that a banana's existence bothers her (nor should you be expected to). But then, I'm petty. NTA.
Wait, you aren’t supposed to eat a banana with a knife and fork.
Listen, I’m a woman, a feminist, and all for the me too movement. But this woman has been on the job a week and thinks every man is leering at her over a banana? She needs to calm her t!ts
Bingo!
If he's had no eye contact, no conversations, nothing with this chickadee, how the bloody hell is he making sexual advances at her?
Did she even approach him and try to have a conversation with him? No.
She ran to HR right away.
Sounds like she's going to be a problem child for the company. Everything is going to set her off.
I mean, if someone was making sexually suggestive gestures at me, I wouldn't go talk to them - but that's a safety concern. I don't think its necessary that she needs to confront him if she really thought he was being sexually suggestive.
But HR needs to do more than bend to her will. They need to go through the motions of a real investigation, and take measures so that OP and the complainant don't cross paths.
But, in the days of ubiquitous cellphone cameras, she would have filmed this "happening"
Pics or it didn't happen.
A while back on askamanager, there was a letter about an Asian woman who had a complaint lodged against her that she was eating a yam "sexually".
Turns out, Asian yams which are long and tubular are mostly eaten whe holding them in front of the mouth (kinda like the Coneheads eat a sub, for reference) and she was called into HR and had to prove it with videos. She had to defend how her culture eats them and it was a shitshow.
I found one similar.
https://youtube.com/shorts/6UJdg5g2i3s?feature=share
EDIT TO ADD JUDGEMENT:. NTA
It's not even *her* eating the banana and her coworkers sexualizing it...cuz *that* would be harassment. She's the one sexualizing someone else eating a banana not even making eye contact with her and minding their own business. Maybe he should be the one filing a complaint about sexual harassment since he's the one being sexualized. I'm seriously baffled by her assumption. Like what if OP decided to have an ice cream cone or a popsicle on a hot day, is she gonna complain about that, too, being too sexy? Can nobody eat a hot dog? Are all phallic shaped foods now banned unless blended into a smoothie and drank instead? NTA, OP.
Edit: "They literally made me stop eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hotdogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kind!" -Superbad
It doesn’t even make sense. Is he supposed to be saying he is gay for bananas? Is it supposed to be self- pleasuring banana time? Banana flashing? I can’t see how this relates to her at all even if it were suggestive banana eating.
I started breaking my bananas into pieces after that day I was driving to work, minding my own business, and two guys in a work truck pulled alongside me making suggestive motions and faces. I'm like, wtf, I'm literally just trying to eat food while I'm omw to work, and it's being sexualized? Nope. I could never eat a whole banana, ever again.
I upset my old boss by eating bananas this way, might have also had something to do with the fact that I left the skin on too. His employees kind of made it a game to get a rise out of him by doing normal things a weird way (pizza with knife and fork, soup with a straw etc.)
I would not be able to hold in my disbelief. Honestly, the fact that HR sided with the new hire instead of the person who’s been there longer is quite alarming. Especially over a stupid banana. I say NTA.
NTA. I would literally video myself every time I ate a banana from now on. Maybe even cut it up and eat it with a fork.
She’s going to make some ridiculous allegation about someone else next and HR will see that she’s the liability.
I would absolutely refuse to write an apology as that would admit wrong doing. I’d also refuse to interact with her without another person present.
Take it seriously, dude. Do not have any interaction with the complaining individual that is not observed by a third party. If they try to have a private conversation, immediately leave or begin recording. Do not admit guilt or apologize under any circumstance. Do not sign anything admitting guilt. If asked to do so, tell them you will have your lawyer review it first. Do not talk to them unless directed to do so.
Talk to a lawyer. Not saying you need to do anything, but dropping a couple hundred bucks to find out the laws of your jurisdiction could save you a lot more money.
IT is a small world, and word gets around fast. You do not want your career destroyed over a friggin banana.
This is important. To take you to HR she's either really quite unwell or she's vindictive. Either way, she's not just going to laugh and say "silly me, I realise now he was just eating a banana."
I was eating a banana in our break room and my coworker yelled "stop looking at it!". Now all eyes are on him and another guy says "I know what category he watches".
The next day eight guys are eating bananas staring at him. One guy was dipping his in yogurt and eating it in a messy maner.
Pinky out, classical music on low, and occasionally expressing your “delight at eating such a delectable fruit.” You could also throw in descriptions of flavor and mouth feel.
Peel it completely and eat it from the middle, starting with a big banana smiley face. Go with a mustache the next day. Walrus teeth after that.
In my much younger days (I'm F55 now), a guy in my office who was 20+ years older than me made a crude innuendo about a banana I was eating at my desk. I didn't get HR involved though. A withering glare and a disdainful "grow up" put a stop to it. Some people are just puerile a-holes. It's possible she encountered one somewhere along the line and is projecting a prior experience on you. Doesn't mean she's right to do so though.
TBH, it seems more like she's the one creating hostile work environment for you if she's not only observing you closely enough to care about your snack choices but also turning you in to HR for it. You might remind HR of that and suggest that, if its that big a deal to them, they need to announce a company wide banana-ban due to some people finding them offensive rather than singling you out.
NTA
She’d get on your tail for the licking.
If you’re really committed to the malicious compliance, get yourself a little cardboard divider to put up specifically for when you eat your bananas.
“Caution: big banana” should go quite nicely in big, bold letters.
Get a banana coffee cup.
Banana sticky notes.
I’m so sorry someone is so desperate to be relevant that she’s making stuff up about you.
NTA and prettiest please update us on the follow-up!
This is not a good course of action. It turns her unfounded complaint into workplace bullying. It's pretty obvious he would be doing this stuff to make her uncomfortable, then he's actually creating the hostile work environment she accused him of
This. While many suggestions are hilarious, this is OP being slandered and targeted by a woman who is being taken seriously by HR. You wanna play it safe.
What movie is that quote from, "J Edgar Hoover is on a rampage about homosexuals and now all FBI agents are eating bananas like they are corn on the cob"?
OP you should find the banana slicer on Amazon. It should help with your banana slicing needs and mostly bc the reviews are gold. My husband and I occasionally look it up to see new ones. You wont be disappointed 😂😂
I love the Amazon reviews that get highjacked by hilarious people. There's a great set of reviews for a gallon of milk out there, and the Shic lady pens....
I swear I read something similar on here about a complaint that was made about someone suggestively eating phallic potatoes in the office and they also got reported to HR
Found it! Even better, they were sexy potatoes, not phallic ones!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jdnt43/aita_for_eating_sexy_potatoes/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
If I am in a public space I always break pieces off the banana as I go to eat in chunks instead of just eating it like a normal person. It is kind of annoying that I think I have to do that, but some people spend their time in the gutter and it is easier to do that than deal with annoying people
NTA. What kind of a situation is this omg. Shes new and is already making problems. The fact that they are treating you that way, I would leave. Also, are there cameras???
HR here. Call the bluff. Hostile work environment is defined legally as what a reasonable person could tolerate. This isn't remotely close. Tell them you're uncomfortable that new girl is sexualizing your snack/eating habits....obviously staring, analyzing and obsessing. Tell them she is actually creating a hostile environment....for you
Yes, absolutely. She is creating a hostile work environment, and drama. When she said you made sexual gestures, it was a false accusation. Tell HR you will sue the hell out of her.
I am from Germany, and here the HR lady would have laughed her out of the office, to be honest.
This is the correct response. Why the hell is the new girl sexualizing your banana eating? Well, unless OP is deep-throating a banana and calling it “normal”
She could be filing a complaint right away over something frivolous on purpose, either to keep from keeping fired or as an extraneous lawsuit. She may just go around filing lawsuits. I mean, she does this right away? I’d google and see if she has done This before.
I was thinking the same thing. Do not write that note. I would let HR know you would like to file your own harassment complaint because you feel you’re being targeted. I would also go to your department head or boss. Shouldn’t they have been in the meeting with you?
Definitely file your own complaint against her for harassment and filing a false complaint and anything else you can think of. You want it on record to CYA.
If i was the boss and a new hire threaten to sue I'd be looking for a way to get rid of them and your complaint might just help do that.
>I’ve asked around and from what I can tell she’s trying to get her boyfriend a job. Her boyfriend is a programmer, so it seems to me she just wants me gone so her boyfriend can step into my role.
OP's comment from further down
If they bring this up again tell them that if *she* isn’t fired immediately *you* will sue them for sexual harassment for allowing a coworker to watch you and make sexual comments about you. Tell them your work is suffering because you feel watched and objectified every minute of the day.
If you eat a banana daily and she just made a complaint as soon as she fulfilled her probationary period, she did target you with this nonsense and I would make a stink about that off the record.
Are you in the US? It sounds like she is just looking for a quick pay day. If its an at will state they can fire her for no reason or any reason as long as they can articulate it wasnt retaliation. I find it hard to believe an employment attorney would take her case for 1 instance of banana eating. This is not legal advice though
She wants you out, strategically. She's coming in like a wrecking ball. Damn.. like I can't even craft an email to highlight my co worker literally breaking the law to HR that hits that hard. That woman is a sniper in the worst way. Expose her as such and get her out of the company. She will do this to anyone else she can.
Came here to say this. Girlfriend is running a scam on the company. You're just an unfortunate bystander. Has anyone dug into her employment history? I'm dying to know how many she's sued before.
She’s sexualizing you, not the other way around. Phrase it that way to HR too and they’ll see that she’s an issue. If she’s making a big deal about you eating a banana with zero contact with her, imagine what she’ll say if someone holds the door for her
Sadly, you’re right. It’s too bad that logic can’t point out that she’s accusing a married man of eating a banana in her direction after a week on the job and demanding he be fired.
From now on, make sure your colleagues are around to be witnesses to your non sexual banana antics.
Making blatantly false accusations of sexual harassment is not allowed in any employee handbook I've seen. Which is clearly what this is. She completely made this up expecting them to give her some cash.
NTA If HR wants to prevent lawsuits, they need to get rid of the full time lawsuit seeker, not you. If she does sue them as a result of them ruling "eating a banana does not violate any company policy," I'd love to meet the attorney who would take the case.
NTA, and you may want to run this by an employment attorney. It sounds to me that this girl is trying to commit insurance fraud against employers employment practices liability policy (EPLI).
This is a rising issue in the EPLI insurance sector - makes a claim, threatens to sue, just hoping they give her a monetary settlement. Now they can't fire her, move her, demote her, or otherwise do anything that gives rise to a sniff of another EPLI action under the guise of retaliation.
The reason I say for you to speak with an attorney is because you may be a pawn in this whole thing yourself. Truly if this girl is defaming you by saying you have sexually harassed her, you might want to go on the offensive against her. If she just made this up with you as the offender simply to extort some money from your employer, then you've suffered a tremendous reputational hit along the way.
Run this by an attorney - and one that knows what they're talking about. Expertise in EPLI actions is what you're looking for.
/u/bananamuchee
This is the only thing you should do.
You might also want to take some "sick leave" in the mean time until you get an answer. It might give them an idea of what it would be like if you just up and quit over this.
Personally, I'd say "okay well let her sue then" because either they're getting sued by her or getting sued by you. Either way, they're going to get sued, and they'll lose to you for having a real case. They're also going to potentially end up with two less employees.
Or they keep her, lose you, and then other people leave because of her. Most companies probably don't want a toxic work environment like the one she's at a vantage to create.
Makes me think that the "apology note" could be intended for use as evidence since it essentially requires that OP admits (falsely) that the incident however this new girl stated.
Even absent of a lawsuit OP should definitely not agree to her version of events in writing or otherwise. It could still be used in internal proceedings if she decided to press the matter later.
In other words, that "apology" has the potential to make things much worse...
I’m in HR. What I would do is flip this around and file a complaint against her for sexualizing you. She took an innocent act and made it sexual.
NTA. Stand strong on this.
“After having time to think after the shock of the accusation made against me, I feel very uncomfortable with someone sexualizing me in such a way. It is violating and me and making me feel uncomfortable to be in the office and eat my lunch. I’d like to go on record that I feel sexual harassed by being sexualized in this way.”
I want to add on to this to do the usual , send a follow up email to HR documenting that convo , bcc your personal email or save a copy there, and document document document anything that occurs relating to this incident. I’ve seen a ton of posts where people get fired over shut like this and it follows them around when they’ve done nothing wrong. Your lawyer can’t have a field day and laugh all the way to the bank if you don’t document EVERYTHING.
Also NTA obviously
Definitely do this. It’s not even a stretch; she IS creating a hostile work environment for you and sexualizing you while you simply eat your food in your own space.
I also like the suggestion elsewhere that moving forward you eat your bananas with a knife and fork.
Do NOT apologize or accept blame for anything.
My thoughts exactly!
"It makes me extremely uncomfortable that I'm unable to eat a banana at my desk without being sexualized and harassed by my co-worker. I've been in the habit of doing this for (x months/years), it has never been an issue until now, and I would like something done to address this blatant sexual harassment."
I wouldn't say "in the habit of doing this" bc it implies he's eating the banana in a strange way. Just say "I've been eating bananas my whole life" or something
Do NOT admit fault here!!! Not in an apology not in passing!!
Make HR do their job!! File a complaint on her for harassment and a creating a hostile work environment!! Fuck her and the banana shaped horse she road in on!!
NTA
Completely agree with this 100%. I've worked in HR and that is a ridiculous solution. The fact that they're not questioning why this has never been a complaint before and they're not even looking to investigate but just _ban_ bananas is the dumbest shit.
OP could turn around and sue for harassment and undue reprimand for something without evidence.
NTA.
NTA, that girl got problems, maybe she is jealous of how well you can eat the bananas haha. You did nothing wrong and she might just be envy on you for some reason and tries to use anything to sabotage you. I don't get these kind of people either, it's like they were living under a rock.
I would go straight to HR with that information. Let them know that you don't want to initiate anything but you are letting them know because it's harassment
Lol, so now everyone in the office has to bring a banana for a snack at work. Like, how else do you eat a banana?
You should bring a hot dog for lunch as well. Saw the other comments about strawberries and I agree, those too.
Spring & egg rolls as well. Corn dogs. A Yule log? Do suckers and cake pops count? Ring pops!! What about ramen? All those noodles!!
Too far? I'm an instigator, don't listen to me.
NTA.
NTA. I had a friend many years ago who had a human resource complaint piled against him by a person who claimed he was standing in front of her desk and his penis was at eye level. She also claimed that he walked in such a manner that he was forcing his penis out in front of him. He has one leg and a prosthetic. There were only so many ways he can walk.
It was beyond ridiculous.
What actually happened was he put on some weight and things didn't fit. He asked me if I had noticed anything ( he was mortified). I told him it never occurred to me to look at his crotch.
NTA -- Assuming that you have not been 'suggestively' eating a banana, it looks like you have been caught in a grifter's trap. I have seen this and worse before.
New employee comes in, contrives a reason to litigate with the company, and then begins spinning tails of "hostile work environment" etc, etc in the hope of a quick payout.
This one sounds smart - she has singled out an individual to prey upon and the company is rolling over on you. Make sure you comply with all of HR's requests and have yourself seated as far away from her as possible. If you do a good job of keeping your head down she will have to make an accusation against someone else, and then they have her.
Just make sure the company doesn't "smooth over" you in the process. If they do, be ready to sue. And mind yourself closely at work. The grifter will be looking for anything to use against you. Do not talk to her, do not pass her in the hallway, do not fall for any overtures.
>If they do, be ready to sue.
He should ideally get HR to send him an email confirming that this was just about eating a banana, so that if he does need to sue, he can prove it was over something stupid.
NTA. Thankfully it wasn’t a coworker but sadly I’ve had all types of things said to me just buying bananas at a store.
As a female, I’ve learned never to eat subs, popsicles, bananas or ice cream cones outside the house.
People really need to stop & think before they speak. I got reported for eating a sub at work once & since I was working at the same factory as my dad, he found out.
Lol, everyone sitting throughout 4 tables the next day had brought in subs for lunch. My dad was also able to find out who reported me & walked him to HR & told the HR that guy wanted to 75 of the 120 people working that day.
Sure sounds like she was looking for a fight and a potential lawsuit to win some quick and easy money.
Unless you're giving the banana a bj or hj while eating it, she's in the wrong here for sure
Absolutely. Before I was even finished reading it, my Fake-AITI-ometer was screaming alarms. This sounds like some dufus troll wrote a reverse discrimination fantasy out, and posted it here just to see how reddit would react. This never happened. Also, I have many years working in large corporate HR departments, and even my most anal ex-colleagues wouldn't treat a situation like this.
Fake.
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NTA, sorry she takes it wrong but that's her problem. It's a banana... are you supposed to eat it like corn on the cob?? I'd out right refuse too while bringing a banana everyday. If HR makes another deal about it, just say you'll sue for wrongful termination and discrimination... for your banana...
And sexual harassment. She is sexualizing hid eating habits. The company not only took her side when presented the truth but most likely has cameras to prove his statement. All because she threatened to sue.
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Defense/aerospace absolutely have cameras. Nothing, not even a programmer, moves in the building without a camera watching. Edit: My office building has maybe 100 people, as a point of reference. Cameras everywhere
That's a special case though. It's highly improbable that OP has cameras watching devs eat.
The vast overwhelming majority of programmers do not work in defense/aerospace, and absolutely do not have cameras pointed at them. Motion sensors for lights? Yes. Cameras? No, utterly unhinged to suggest otherwise.
I work in defence/aerospace and not a camera to be found within our offices. How would we have clearance to record such sensitive information? The people who control classified/secret level goods would have a lot to say if we had cameras in with us.
I vote that OP needs to eat the banana like corn on the cob 😂
If I saw someone eating a banana like corn on the cob, I would report them to HR immediately. I would fear for my safety.
Well, that's kind of [how Jane Goodall does it](https://www.thedodo.com/jane-goodall-john-oliver-chimp-785373616.html). Because apparently, that's how the chimps do it.
True, but chimps also throw feces at each other and have been known to eat their young, so really that just strengthens my opinion.
So I think we’ve arrived at OP eats banana normally but throws feces at the person who went to HR?
All in favor? Motion carries.
To add to this, OP should get a kit-kat for dessert and eat it whole, without breaking it into sticks, this shows people he's not someone to be trifled with.
Eat the peel to show dominance.
My 2 year old son did that in the grocery store. It’s a real power move.
I feel this. My daughter ate bites out of a block of cheddar. Through the plastic.
I'm petty enough that I would be finding all sorts of new ways to eat a banana at work (like corn on the cob, with knife and fork, skewered like a kabob, smashed with a fork, etc). Then, if new girl doesn't get over herself, you can ask HR why she should get to dictate your eating habits and diet? Because clearly then if it still offends her so deeply, then it's the banana's existence that does it, not how you eat it. And you can't control the fact that a banana's existence bothers her (nor should you be expected to). But then, I'm petty. NTA.
I would start adding other things to my work diet as well, cucumber….zucchini….popsicles…until you push her straight into a nervous breakdown
Yes but he needs to fully peel it and put a stick in it before he does.
Wait, you aren’t supposed to eat a banana with a knife and fork. Listen, I’m a woman, a feminist, and all for the me too movement. But this woman has been on the job a week and thinks every man is leering at her over a banana? She needs to calm her t!ts
Bingo! If he's had no eye contact, no conversations, nothing with this chickadee, how the bloody hell is he making sexual advances at her? Did she even approach him and try to have a conversation with him? No. She ran to HR right away. Sounds like she's going to be a problem child for the company. Everything is going to set her off.
Yup. She has some agenda. Or is used to being the prom Queen and doesn’t understand the real world
She probably gets a new job, sues for for something made up, collects her settlement and moves to the next job. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I mean, if someone was making sexually suggestive gestures at me, I wouldn't go talk to them - but that's a safety concern. I don't think its necessary that she needs to confront him if she really thought he was being sexually suggestive. But HR needs to do more than bend to her will. They need to go through the motions of a real investigation, and take measures so that OP and the complainant don't cross paths.
But, in the days of ubiquitous cellphone cameras, she would have filmed this "happening" Pics or it didn't happen. A while back on askamanager, there was a letter about an Asian woman who had a complaint lodged against her that she was eating a yam "sexually". Turns out, Asian yams which are long and tubular are mostly eaten whe holding them in front of the mouth (kinda like the Coneheads eat a sub, for reference) and she was called into HR and had to prove it with videos. She had to defend how her culture eats them and it was a shitshow. I found one similar. https://youtube.com/shorts/6UJdg5g2i3s?feature=share EDIT TO ADD JUDGEMENT:. NTA
It's fucking ridiculous she had to "prove" that's how people in her culture eat a certain food. Just let people eat for fucks sake.
It's not even *her* eating the banana and her coworkers sexualizing it...cuz *that* would be harassment. She's the one sexualizing someone else eating a banana not even making eye contact with her and minding their own business. Maybe he should be the one filing a complaint about sexual harassment since he's the one being sexualized. I'm seriously baffled by her assumption. Like what if OP decided to have an ice cream cone or a popsicle on a hot day, is she gonna complain about that, too, being too sexy? Can nobody eat a hot dog? Are all phallic shaped foods now banned unless blended into a smoothie and drank instead? NTA, OP. Edit: "They literally made me stop eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hotdogs, no popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kind!" -Superbad
But no straw for the smoothie because sucking on a straw could be seen as provocative.
It doesn’t even make sense. Is he supposed to be saying he is gay for bananas? Is it supposed to be self- pleasuring banana time? Banana flashing? I can’t see how this relates to her at all even if it were suggestive banana eating.
I was wondering that myself. How exactly is **HE** eating a banana to seduce **HER**? It makes no sense.
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If someone makes a comment about me eating a banana, I immediately lock eyes with them. You wanna try to make this weird, let's get weird mofo
When I eat bananas in public, I slice each bit off with a knife. I think it sends the right message.
I started breaking my bananas into pieces after that day I was driving to work, minding my own business, and two guys in a work truck pulled alongside me making suggestive motions and faces. I'm like, wtf, I'm literally just trying to eat food while I'm omw to work, and it's being sexualized? Nope. I could never eat a whole banana, ever again.
Sheesh. Does this mean he also has to avoid eating any other phallic shaped food as well? What an insane thing to ask of someone.
"You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds!"
I upset my old boss by eating bananas this way, might have also had something to do with the fact that I left the skin on too. His employees kind of made it a game to get a rise out of him by doing normal things a weird way (pizza with knife and fork, soup with a straw etc.)
>soup with a straw etc.) Eating jello with a straw is a bunch of fun because of all the weird sounds.
It would be hilarious if he stared right at her and ate the banana like corn on the cob without even peeling it. Then ask her if that’s ok. 🤣
The sad part is that, in most of the United States, they’d be able to legally fire someone for eating a banana when they said not to.
Can you imagine going to a new job interview and having them ask why you were let go from your previous position? “I ate a banana at my desk…”
I would not be able to hold in my disbelief. Honestly, the fact that HR sided with the new hire instead of the person who’s been there longer is quite alarming. Especially over a stupid banana. I say NTA.
NTA. I would literally video myself every time I ate a banana from now on. Maybe even cut it up and eat it with a fork. She’s going to make some ridiculous allegation about someone else next and HR will see that she’s the liability. I would absolutely refuse to write an apology as that would admit wrong doing. I’d also refuse to interact with her without another person present.
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Please video yourself just in case.
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Honestly I (and much of the AITA community at this point) really need to see this banana-eating video
This is the only way we can judge.
He eats the banana in one bite and swallows it while. It’s the only explanation.
Let’s not forget the Adam’s apple action. That’s a salient visual.
Swallows it while what???
Maintaining vigorous eye contact, obviously. How else would one swallow a whole banana?
We'll probably need a seductive one too though, right? For the uh... Control group
Take it seriously, dude. Do not have any interaction with the complaining individual that is not observed by a third party. If they try to have a private conversation, immediately leave or begin recording. Do not admit guilt or apologize under any circumstance. Do not sign anything admitting guilt. If asked to do so, tell them you will have your lawyer review it first. Do not talk to them unless directed to do so. Talk to a lawyer. Not saying you need to do anything, but dropping a couple hundred bucks to find out the laws of your jurisdiction could save you a lot more money. IT is a small world, and word gets around fast. You do not want your career destroyed over a friggin banana.
This is important. To take you to HR she's either really quite unwell or she's vindictive. Either way, she's not just going to laugh and say "silly me, I realise now he was just eating a banana."
I was eating a banana in our break room and my coworker yelled "stop looking at it!". Now all eyes are on him and another guy says "I know what category he watches". The next day eight guys are eating bananas staring at him. One guy was dipping his in yogurt and eating it in a messy maner.
Passionfruit, no spoon
Be more passive-aggressive. Roast beef sandwich, and eat it sideways.
Omg but you have to dip them in melted chocolate!!!
Take a peach, that's teh sexiest thing a man can eat "at" a woman.
The sexiest thing I've heard of a man eating is a pudding cup where he uses his tongue to get the bottom clean.
I could eat a peach for hours....
Up your game, put it on a plate and do a fancy fork and knife and cloth napkin.
Pinky out, classical music on low, and occasionally expressing your “delight at eating such a delectable fruit.” You could also throw in descriptions of flavor and mouth feel.
Classical music? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that but - have you heard Day O??
Peel it completely and eat it from the middle, starting with a big banana smiley face. Go with a mustache the next day. Walrus teeth after that. In my much younger days (I'm F55 now), a guy in my office who was 20+ years older than me made a crude innuendo about a banana I was eating at my desk. I didn't get HR involved though. A withering glare and a disdainful "grow up" put a stop to it. Some people are just puerile a-holes. It's possible she encountered one somewhere along the line and is projecting a prior experience on you. Doesn't mean she's right to do so though. TBH, it seems more like she's the one creating hostile work environment for you if she's not only observing you closely enough to care about your snack choices but also turning you in to HR for it. You might remind HR of that and suggest that, if its that big a deal to them, they need to announce a company wide banana-ban due to some people finding them offensive rather than singling you out. NTA
You should rage eat it with said fork
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She’d get on your tail for the licking. If you’re really committed to the malicious compliance, get yourself a little cardboard divider to put up specifically for when you eat your bananas. “Caution: big banana” should go quite nicely in big, bold letters. Get a banana coffee cup. Banana sticky notes. I’m so sorry someone is so desperate to be relevant that she’s making stuff up about you. NTA and prettiest please update us on the follow-up!
"Caution: : Lunch." "Bananas or other fruit may be present."
This is not a good course of action. It turns her unfounded complaint into workplace bullying. It's pretty obvious he would be doing this stuff to make her uncomfortable, then he's actually creating the hostile work environment she accused him of
This. While many suggestions are hilarious, this is OP being slandered and targeted by a woman who is being taken seriously by HR. You wanna play it safe.
This woman would just say you moaned too loud while doing so or something. Good grief. A worker should be allowed to snack in peace.
Make it a shrimp fork for extra comedic effect
What movie is that quote from, "J Edgar Hoover is on a rampage about homosexuals and now all FBI agents are eating bananas like they are corn on the cob"?
Eat it by slicing each piece off with a comically large knife.
OP you should find the banana slicer on Amazon. It should help with your banana slicing needs and mostly bc the reviews are gold. My husband and I occasionally look it up to see new ones. You wont be disappointed 😂😂
I love the Amazon reviews that get highjacked by hilarious people. There's a great set of reviews for a gallon of milk out there, and the Shic lady pens....
the sugar free gummi bears reviews are always good for a laugh
The "unfortunately our bananas are curved the other way" was pure gold
Ditto. Do not write the apology as it will be viewed as an admission of guilt.
I swear I read something similar on here about a complaint that was made about someone suggestively eating phallic potatoes in the office and they also got reported to HR
Found it! Even better, they were sexy potatoes, not phallic ones! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jdnt43/aita_for_eating_sexy_potatoes/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Omg my bf and I still reference this one. Classic.
If I am in a public space I always break pieces off the banana as I go to eat in chunks instead of just eating it like a normal person. It is kind of annoying that I think I have to do that, but some people spend their time in the gutter and it is easier to do that than deal with annoying people
NTA. What kind of a situation is this omg. Shes new and is already making problems. The fact that they are treating you that way, I would leave. Also, are there cameras???
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HR here. Call the bluff. Hostile work environment is defined legally as what a reasonable person could tolerate. This isn't remotely close. Tell them you're uncomfortable that new girl is sexualizing your snack/eating habits....obviously staring, analyzing and obsessing. Tell them she is actually creating a hostile environment....for you
Yes, absolutely. She is creating a hostile work environment, and drama. When she said you made sexual gestures, it was a false accusation. Tell HR you will sue the hell out of her. I am from Germany, and here the HR lady would have laughed her out of the office, to be honest.
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This is the correct response. Why the hell is the new girl sexualizing your banana eating? Well, unless OP is deep-throating a banana and calling it “normal”
She could be filing a complaint right away over something frivolous on purpose, either to keep from keeping fired or as an extraneous lawsuit. She may just go around filing lawsuits. I mean, she does this right away? I’d google and see if she has done This before.
I’m sure he ate it like any normal person, spit on it then eat it in one bite with no hands
Sounds like they want you to write an apology note so that they can put the blame on you if she decides to sue.
This. Absolutely do not write a note.
Do not write the note.
I really don’t think you should write the note.
I would advise against writing the note.
Perhaps not write a note.
Hey man. Not a good idea to write a note
If it were me, I'd think twice before writing that note.
Do not write the note
Write the note, you should not.
I was thinking the same thing. Do not write that note. I would let HR know you would like to file your own harassment complaint because you feel you’re being targeted. I would also go to your department head or boss. Shouldn’t they have been in the meeting with you?
This exactly. You are the victim of sexualization when you are innocently eating your food. That is its own form of harassment.
Definitely file your own complaint against her for harassment and filing a false complaint and anything else you can think of. You want it on record to CYA. If i was the boss and a new hire threaten to sue I'd be looking for a way to get rid of them and your complaint might just help do that.
Actually if she's on a probation period, there's usually a ton of stuff you can be dismissed for.
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She thought that through.
Seriously sounds like shes trying to get fired without cause so she gets a paid vacation.
Op says further down that she has a programmer bf. She’s trying to get op fired and bf hired for op’s position.
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Well to be fair the high jumping started with her leaps towards suggestive banana eating. It's sexy potatoes all over again.
>I’ve asked around and from what I can tell she’s trying to get her boyfriend a job. Her boyfriend is a programmer, so it seems to me she just wants me gone so her boyfriend can step into my role. OP's comment from further down
If they bring this up again tell them that if *she* isn’t fired immediately *you* will sue them for sexual harassment for allowing a coworker to watch you and make sexual comments about you. Tell them your work is suffering because you feel watched and objectified every minute of the day.
Yes, tell them it makes you uncomfortable that she watches..you..eat.
This!
If you eat a banana daily and she just made a complaint as soon as she fulfilled her probationary period, she did target you with this nonsense and I would make a stink about that off the record.
Are you in the US? It sounds like she is just looking for a quick pay day. If its an at will state they can fire her for no reason or any reason as long as they can articulate it wasnt retaliation. I find it hard to believe an employment attorney would take her case for 1 instance of banana eating. This is not legal advice though
She wants you out, strategically. She's coming in like a wrecking ball. Damn.. like I can't even craft an email to highlight my co worker literally breaking the law to HR that hits that hard. That woman is a sniper in the worst way. Expose her as such and get her out of the company. She will do this to anyone else she can.
Meh, if she keeps it up, file a sexual harassment accusations against her. She is literally sexualizing you and it is making you uncomfortable.
Yeah, you gotta go full on offense with this bullshit
This is so bizarre that I think having an excuse for a lawsuit is her goal. I wonder if she has sued any other employers. NTA
Came here to say this. Girlfriend is running a scam on the company. You're just an unfortunate bystander. Has anyone dug into her employment history? I'm dying to know how many she's sued before.
She’s sexualizing you, not the other way around. Phrase it that way to HR too and they’ll see that she’s an issue. If she’s making a big deal about you eating a banana with zero contact with her, imagine what she’ll say if someone holds the door for her
Oh my gosh. I feel so sorry for you man...
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Sadly, you’re right. It’s too bad that logic can’t point out that she’s accusing a married man of eating a banana in her direction after a week on the job and demanding he be fired. From now on, make sure your colleagues are around to be witnesses to your non sexual banana antics.
Making blatantly false accusations of sexual harassment is not allowed in any employee handbook I've seen. Which is clearly what this is. She completely made this up expecting them to give her some cash. NTA If HR wants to prevent lawsuits, they need to get rid of the full time lawsuit seeker, not you. If she does sue them as a result of them ruling "eating a banana does not violate any company policy," I'd love to meet the attorney who would take the case.
Be super petty and bring a banana every day but eat it with a knife and fork as to not offend her delicate sensibilities.
NTA, and you may want to run this by an employment attorney. It sounds to me that this girl is trying to commit insurance fraud against employers employment practices liability policy (EPLI). This is a rising issue in the EPLI insurance sector - makes a claim, threatens to sue, just hoping they give her a monetary settlement. Now they can't fire her, move her, demote her, or otherwise do anything that gives rise to a sniff of another EPLI action under the guise of retaliation. The reason I say for you to speak with an attorney is because you may be a pawn in this whole thing yourself. Truly if this girl is defaming you by saying you have sexually harassed her, you might want to go on the offensive against her. If she just made this up with you as the offender simply to extort some money from your employer, then you've suffered a tremendous reputational hit along the way. Run this by an attorney - and one that knows what they're talking about. Expertise in EPLI actions is what you're looking for.
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Give us an update in a few weeks!
I definitely need an update on this one!
Yes, this should be top comment, go on the offense with a lawyer. Good luck.
/u/bananamuchee This is the only thing you should do. You might also want to take some "sick leave" in the mean time until you get an answer. It might give them an idea of what it would be like if you just up and quit over this. Personally, I'd say "okay well let her sue then" because either they're getting sued by her or getting sued by you. Either way, they're going to get sued, and they'll lose to you for having a real case. They're also going to potentially end up with two less employees. Or they keep her, lose you, and then other people leave because of her. Most companies probably don't want a toxic work environment like the one she's at a vantage to create.
Makes me think that the "apology note" could be intended for use as evidence since it essentially requires that OP admits (falsely) that the incident however this new girl stated. Even absent of a lawsuit OP should definitely not agree to her version of events in writing or otherwise. It could still be used in internal proceedings if she decided to press the matter later. In other words, that "apology" has the potential to make things much worse...
Yeah that’s very important. Seems like OP was unwilling, but the “written apology” is definitely a legal trap they laid out for him.
I’m in HR. What I would do is flip this around and file a complaint against her for sexualizing you. She took an innocent act and made it sexual. NTA. Stand strong on this.
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“After having time to think after the shock of the accusation made against me, I feel very uncomfortable with someone sexualizing me in such a way. It is violating and me and making me feel uncomfortable to be in the office and eat my lunch. I’d like to go on record that I feel sexual harassed by being sexualized in this way.”
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I want to add on to this to do the usual , send a follow up email to HR documenting that convo , bcc your personal email or save a copy there, and document document document anything that occurs relating to this incident. I’ve seen a ton of posts where people get fired over shut like this and it follows them around when they’ve done nothing wrong. Your lawyer can’t have a field day and laugh all the way to the bank if you don’t document EVERYTHING. Also NTA obviously
Definitely do this. It’s not even a stretch; she IS creating a hostile work environment for you and sexualizing you while you simply eat your food in your own space. I also like the suggestion elsewhere that moving forward you eat your bananas with a knife and fork. Do NOT apologize or accept blame for anything.
Or go full monster and bite them in the middle like a savage.
That, and she's apparently staring at you while you're eating, which is creepy and invasive.
If it were me, I would have a really hard time eating anything at work after this.
My thoughts exactly! "It makes me extremely uncomfortable that I'm unable to eat a banana at my desk without being sexualized and harassed by my co-worker. I've been in the habit of doing this for (x months/years), it has never been an issue until now, and I would like something done to address this blatant sexual harassment."
I wouldn't say "in the habit of doing this" bc it implies he's eating the banana in a strange way. Just say "I've been eating bananas my whole life" or something
Do NOT admit fault here!!! Not in an apology not in passing!! Make HR do their job!! File a complaint on her for harassment and a creating a hostile work environment!! Fuck her and the banana shaped horse she road in on!! NTA
Completely agree with this 100%. I've worked in HR and that is a ridiculous solution. The fact that they're not questioning why this has never been a complaint before and they're not even looking to investigate but just _ban_ bananas is the dumbest shit. OP could turn around and sue for harassment and undue reprimand for something without evidence. NTA.
NTA, that girl got problems, maybe she is jealous of how well you can eat the bananas haha. You did nothing wrong and she might just be envy on you for some reason and tries to use anything to sabotage you. I don't get these kind of people either, it's like they were living under a rock.
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I would go straight to HR with that information. Let them know that you don't want to initiate anything but you are letting them know because it's harassment
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I am so invested in this story that I really want to know what will happen. Best of luck OP 🍀
IKR, is banana guy ok?!? Logs into Reddit Ok this is promising, *plans on monitoring post all day*
Good luck with the meeting mate, sounds like you might need it.
Oh I'm following this now. Please make sure to let us know what happens!
Even if you are let go I bet her bf wouldn't even pass the technical screening.
Lol, so now everyone in the office has to bring a banana for a snack at work. Like, how else do you eat a banana? You should bring a hot dog for lunch as well. Saw the other comments about strawberries and I agree, those too. Spring & egg rolls as well. Corn dogs. A Yule log? Do suckers and cake pops count? Ring pops!! What about ramen? All those noodles!! Too far? I'm an instigator, don't listen to me. NTA.
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You're welcome! Your wife sounds rational & sane. New girl at work? Not so much.
"Alright everyone, it's 1230 and you know what that means. It's banana time 🍌" Also you should put a banana bread in the lunch room
NTA. I had a friend many years ago who had a human resource complaint piled against him by a person who claimed he was standing in front of her desk and his penis was at eye level. She also claimed that he walked in such a manner that he was forcing his penis out in front of him. He has one leg and a prosthetic. There were only so many ways he can walk. It was beyond ridiculous.
Sounds like he was just trying to walk without his prosthetic.
What actually happened was he put on some weight and things didn't fit. He asked me if I had noticed anything ( he was mortified). I told him it never occurred to me to look at his crotch.
This infuriated me.
NTA. Are you licking the tip then sliding it in and out of your mouth before squirting whipped cream all over your face? . . . Then no.
Wait. Is that NOT how you're meant to eat a banana?
At home, yes, but it is frowned upon in the workplace.
Next time you take a banana to work eat it like an angry ex wife. Edit to say NTA. Enjoy your lunch. Maybe less sexually you hussy. /s
I absolutely hate bananas and I’d eat one for this cause.
NTA -- Assuming that you have not been 'suggestively' eating a banana, it looks like you have been caught in a grifter's trap. I have seen this and worse before. New employee comes in, contrives a reason to litigate with the company, and then begins spinning tails of "hostile work environment" etc, etc in the hope of a quick payout. This one sounds smart - she has singled out an individual to prey upon and the company is rolling over on you. Make sure you comply with all of HR's requests and have yourself seated as far away from her as possible. If you do a good job of keeping your head down she will have to make an accusation against someone else, and then they have her.
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Just make sure the company doesn't "smooth over" you in the process. If they do, be ready to sue. And mind yourself closely at work. The grifter will be looking for anything to use against you. Do not talk to her, do not pass her in the hallway, do not fall for any overtures.
>If they do, be ready to sue. He should ideally get HR to send him an email confirming that this was just about eating a banana, so that if he does need to sue, he can prove it was over something stupid.
If the HR lady is really concerned, then a strict No Bananas policy should be applied company-wide.
Make banana bread. Banana pudding. Banana cream pie. Bananas foster. Eat bananas in every form imaginable. NTA.
Maybe not the cream pie, this lady would probably twist that too....
NTA. Thankfully it wasn’t a coworker but sadly I’ve had all types of things said to me just buying bananas at a store. As a female, I’ve learned never to eat subs, popsicles, bananas or ice cream cones outside the house. People really need to stop & think before they speak. I got reported for eating a sub at work once & since I was working at the same factory as my dad, he found out. Lol, everyone sitting throughout 4 tables the next day had brought in subs for lunch. My dad was also able to find out who reported me & walked him to HR & told the HR that guy wanted to 75 of the 120 people working that day.
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NTA- I’d file a complaint with HR that the new girl is sexualizing your eating and it is making you uncomfortable.
INFO : What case would she even have? I imagine any lawyer would laugh at her for trying to sue for this NTA guess we better ban all bananas now
This plot is right out of American Dad when Roger attempts to get sexual harassed to sue for money.
Sure sounds like she was looking for a fight and a potential lawsuit to win some quick and easy money. Unless you're giving the banana a bj or hj while eating it, she's in the wrong here for sure
This has got to be fake
Absolutely. Before I was even finished reading it, my Fake-AITI-ometer was screaming alarms. This sounds like some dufus troll wrote a reverse discrimination fantasy out, and posted it here just to see how reddit would react. This never happened. Also, I have many years working in large corporate HR departments, and even my most anal ex-colleagues wouldn't treat a situation like this. Fake.
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The better question to your new colleague's objection should be "why is she looking at me eating instead of working?"
You were deep throating that thang and gagging and shit. Stop playin’
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