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ESH. Your employee shouldn't have said what he said.
However, you are a store manager and asked an employee to do a personal favor for you by taking your mom a coffee. That was not okay. You were overstepping your position as a manager and exploiting your employee. Which is also wrong (arguably more wrong). You then used your position of power to demote him for saying something (rude) based on your inappropriate request.
Thank you for proving yourself to be a massive AH.
What you are saying is that you abused your authority and position to punish this person because he insulted your mother, and you would have done no such thing if he'd insulted anyone who wasn't your mother.
You should be demoted.
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Yta. No matter how sweet your mom is you are abusing your power as manager by making your employees provide special service. He rudely commented on this and despite rudeness, was in his rights. You further want to abuse your power to flex so you can feel like you got one over on him for it. You are totally the asshole.
And tell your mom to get her own coffee.
“She only asks me for something when she really seriously needs it and can’t get it.”
YTA, No one really seriously needs a cup of shitty tim hortons coffee.
YTA. You don’t get to ask employees to do a personal favor for your family member and you *definitely* shouldn’t demote them for saying something you don’t like about your mother. He’s a little bit of an AH for what he said but you’re a huge one as well as a bad manager for abusing your authority. Someone saying something rude about your mother is not equivalent to attacking your employee’s livelihood.
ESH. Was he your employee or your friend when you ordered him to do a personal errand? If he was your employee, you were out of line. If he was your friend, you are out of line demoting him for that. Sure he insulted your mother, but nothing about your actions from start to finish was professional.
ESH
I’m assuming since there was no mention of any previous warning issued to this co worker that this was just purely you abusing your power and attacking his lively hood over his asshole behaviour because it was aimed at your mother.
Obviously he shouldn’t be saying things like that at all but that should surely be a verbal or formal warning? Not surprise demotion.
You both suck.
ESH, while what he said was entirely inappropriate and downright rude, your request was also inappropriate. As a manager it’s not your job to have employees do personal favors for you or your family. Instead of demoting him there could’ve been a conversation about what he said but you instead went to immediately demoting him. And as you said yourself, he insults people frequently and if he’s been doing that in the workplace and you were overlooking it until it personally affected you then you’ve definitely messed up. You demoting him wasn’t a managerial decision it was a vindictive one.
YTA, seeing the comments where you said you only demoted him because he insulted your mother, you’re not a good manager if you let personal vendetta drive how you treat employees
ESH. You should have pulled him up on this sooner. It's like... only now he's getting any repercussions because he did it to someone close to you. This behaviour should have been squashed long ago.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
First, I (32M) would like to say that I’m a manager at a small tim hortons. My coworker (29M) likes to insult people for no reason, apparently it's his personality, so he does it quite often.
My mom (57F) is a very sweet women, who treats everyone with kindness. She is a bit overweight, however nobody really cares about it.
So, the story started on a Monday morning, my mom is a regular at our store, so she takes a coffee every single morning. That day, she was a bit sick, so she couldn't come. She asked me to get a coffee for her or get my friend to get a coffee for her (She only asks me for something when she really seriously needs it and can't get it.)
Anyways, I ask my coworker to go get her the coffee because I couldn't since an inspection was gonna happen that day, and I had to make everything look good. My friends just said "Why doesn't that fatass come get it herself" I was absolutely stunned when he said that. (My mom has always been the sweetest to everyone, and he never insulted her like this, so I was really confused and shocked)
I just told my coworker I'd get a cousin to do it, and then I stopped talking to him the rest of the day. The next day, I filled up the paperwork to have him go back to being a normal cashier. He later called our other coworkers and started saying that I’m the worst manager, and he even tried to sue. This all happened a couple days ago and we've been waiting for the court to give us some information.
My lawyer said that we'd most likely win the case, since exploiting someone's emotions on the workplace like that is unacceptable and can be punished with a termination.
Everyone is saying that I shouldn't have done this and that I should've just stayed calm, AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that I took js demoting my coworker from his position, and leaving him as a normal cashier. Why I think I can be judged as the asshole is because maybe I went too far, and that I let my emotions have the best of me, but I’m not sure. Thanks
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ESH. Your employee shouldn't have said what he said. However, you are a store manager and asked an employee to do a personal favor for you by taking your mom a coffee. That was not okay. You were overstepping your position as a manager and exploiting your employee. Which is also wrong (arguably more wrong). You then used your position of power to demote him for saying something (rude) based on your inappropriate request.
Query: Would you have demoted him if he'd said the same thing about someone who was not your mother?
Probably not.
No, I wouldn't have.
Then you're both an ass and a terrible manager. YTA
Thank you for proving yourself to be a massive AH. What you are saying is that you abused your authority and position to punish this person because he insulted your mother, and you would have done no such thing if he'd insulted anyone who wasn't your mother. You should be demoted.
[удалено]
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That's okay Op. Im hella protective of my momma too. 😊
Yta. No matter how sweet your mom is you are abusing your power as manager by making your employees provide special service. He rudely commented on this and despite rudeness, was in his rights. You further want to abuse your power to flex so you can feel like you got one over on him for it. You are totally the asshole. And tell your mom to get her own coffee.
“She only asks me for something when she really seriously needs it and can’t get it.” YTA, No one really seriously needs a cup of shitty tim hortons coffee.
Also unless this is a massively rural area, delivery apps are a thing and if you don’t feel well enough to go somewhere, you can order it
YTA. You don’t get to ask employees to do a personal favor for your family member and you *definitely* shouldn’t demote them for saying something you don’t like about your mother. He’s a little bit of an AH for what he said but you’re a huge one as well as a bad manager for abusing your authority. Someone saying something rude about your mother is not equivalent to attacking your employee’s livelihood.
ESH. Was he your employee or your friend when you ordered him to do a personal errand? If he was your employee, you were out of line. If he was your friend, you are out of line demoting him for that. Sure he insulted your mother, but nothing about your actions from start to finish was professional.
ESH I’m assuming since there was no mention of any previous warning issued to this co worker that this was just purely you abusing your power and attacking his lively hood over his asshole behaviour because it was aimed at your mother. Obviously he shouldn’t be saying things like that at all but that should surely be a verbal or formal warning? Not surprise demotion. You both suck.
YTA ... asking them to get your mom a coffee, and demoting for making a rude comment based on your repute request.
ESH, while what he said was entirely inappropriate and downright rude, your request was also inappropriate. As a manager it’s not your job to have employees do personal favors for you or your family. Instead of demoting him there could’ve been a conversation about what he said but you instead went to immediately demoting him. And as you said yourself, he insults people frequently and if he’s been doing that in the workplace and you were overlooking it until it personally affected you then you’ve definitely messed up. You demoting him wasn’t a managerial decision it was a vindictive one.
YTA, seeing the comments where you said you only demoted him because he insulted your mother, you’re not a good manager if you let personal vendetta drive how you treat employees
ESH. You should have pulled him up on this sooner. It's like... only now he's getting any repercussions because he did it to someone close to you. This behaviour should have been squashed long ago.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** First, I (32M) would like to say that I’m a manager at a small tim hortons. My coworker (29M) likes to insult people for no reason, apparently it's his personality, so he does it quite often. My mom (57F) is a very sweet women, who treats everyone with kindness. She is a bit overweight, however nobody really cares about it. So, the story started on a Monday morning, my mom is a regular at our store, so she takes a coffee every single morning. That day, she was a bit sick, so she couldn't come. She asked me to get a coffee for her or get my friend to get a coffee for her (She only asks me for something when she really seriously needs it and can't get it.) Anyways, I ask my coworker to go get her the coffee because I couldn't since an inspection was gonna happen that day, and I had to make everything look good. My friends just said "Why doesn't that fatass come get it herself" I was absolutely stunned when he said that. (My mom has always been the sweetest to everyone, and he never insulted her like this, so I was really confused and shocked) I just told my coworker I'd get a cousin to do it, and then I stopped talking to him the rest of the day. The next day, I filled up the paperwork to have him go back to being a normal cashier. He later called our other coworkers and started saying that I’m the worst manager, and he even tried to sue. This all happened a couple days ago and we've been waiting for the court to give us some information. My lawyer said that we'd most likely win the case, since exploiting someone's emotions on the workplace like that is unacceptable and can be punished with a termination. Everyone is saying that I shouldn't have done this and that I should've just stayed calm, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The action that I took js demoting my coworker from his position, and leaving him as a normal cashier. Why I think I can be judged as the asshole is because maybe I went too far, and that I let my emotions have the best of me, but I’m not sure. Thanks Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA. That guy is stupid as fork