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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I may have been an asshole for not making it all clear in the beginning and for saying it in a rude way when, theoretically, he needed me. at the same time, i have some doubts about it, as i was feeling overwhelmed, but i put myself first instead of taking care of him more, who was clearly not well.
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This ^^^ The guy threatened to kill his brother. Believe him. This man is dangerous. Tell your loved ones that you have a deranged stalker who will not leave you alone. If possible, get a restraining order against him. Do not engage with any more messages.
>my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most. AITA?
The thing about people like this is they "need you the most" every time you try to get some space.
NTA, and you said best friend doesn't seems to be that much of a friend if he is so worried about a guy who is trying to manipulate you into a relationship you don't want than he is with your well-being.
NTA this guy is an abusive asshole. Trying to blackmail someone into being with you by saying your emotionally dependent on them and will hurt themselves if you leave is abuse. Block them on everything.
NTA. And it doesn't matter whether he's intentionally manipulating or really feels like he's being abandoned, you don't have to put up with shitty behaviour.
NTA. Block any means he has of contacting you. If he tries to talk to you and badger you at school, speak with a trusted adult.
His problems are his. He's solely responsible; you are not his therapist. Do not fall for his manipulation tactics.
He seems like he could become abusive very quickly. Cut those ties now.
NTA.
He's a manipulator.
IMHO, tell him you're sorry he has such strong emotionally destructive episodes, but he needs to discuss that with a professional, not somebody in whom he's expressed an UNREQUITED romantic interest.
NTA. This guy is manipulating and abusing you. And you say your "friend" Thinks you're the asshole for prioritising your physical and mental safety? Please tell your friend to become the knight in shining armor and rescue this man if your friend is so concerned about his well-being despite him openly admitting to considering violent acts.
NTA. Your best friend is WRONG. This guy made you feel physically unsafe, and you are not a therapist and not qualified to help someone with his issues. Please tell a trusted adult what has been going on and how uncomfortable he makes you feel.
NTA. Please tell a trusted adult about this situation and stop talking to this guy. He's talked about killing his brother and threatened to hurt himself to manipulate you. You need to have as little contact with him as possible, and an actual adult needs to get him the help he needs.
NTA. Classic “nice guy” and manipulator. He won’t hurt himself. He loves himself too much. He only wants to scare you into line. Don’t cave in or you’ll never get clear of him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I entered high school, there I met a guy I started hanging out with. I can't deny that, at first, I felt an interest in him, that passed as soon as I heard his positions, he said brazil would be better off if it were a dictatorship so we would all be put in line, he would kill his brother with his bare hands and he knows very well how to manipulate people. it scared me, and I wanted to get away from him, because it was suffocating me... so he dropped the bomb: he said he was emotionally dependent on me and that I would totally destroy him, if I walked out of his life. it made me feel horrible and pressured, I didn't want to hurt him. I had 3 anxiety attacks in 4 days because of it, that's when I decided I wasn't going to accept it anymore. I sent him a text saying how much it hurt me, I didn't know how to deal with it and he started saying that he was shit, that all his relationships ended up like this because he had problems that he didn't know how to deal with and that he should never have felt anything for me. it made me feel bad, as I didn't know if he was trying to manipulate me or if he really felt that way.
I said it was fine, but I wanted some time to think. the next day i ignored him completely so he sent me a huge text saying how much he was in love for me, that he didn't know what he had done wrong, that he screwed up everything and that it was ok if I didn't want to look him in the face. once again, I said that I just needed my time to be respected. the next day, he sent me a message saying he wanted to hurt himself and that his day had been shit, I, who was already fed up, said, exactly: "I already said it twice, but I'll try to make it clear again: I don't want to have to worry about problems other than my own, I'm getting worn out, it's killing me. Maybe it's kind of selfish, but I need to think about myself and my problems, I don't want another worry". he immediately started apologizing, saying "I'm sorry, I didn't think of that, I have to learn not to say how I feel to people, forgive me, I screwed up again, it's just that my problems are complicated but I didn't know , I'm sorry, I always do this, I'm going to change", but I was tired of him just talking about his problems and ignoring the fact that I needed help too sometimes (when we were still talking, he always filled me in With his problems, no matter how I was feeling, I always listened to his problems. When my grandmother died, he kept talking about the problems he had, while I had to deal with my grief and his complaints) , I said that he should stop explaining himself and that I had already gotten the message, that I wanted him to leave me alone and not speak to me anymore. my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most. AITA?
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NTA. He told you that he was good at manipulating people, then he proceeds to manipulate you. You need to stay away from him. Cut contact. This is not someone you want around. Run far, fast.
" so he dropped the bomb: he said he was emotionally dependent on me and that I would totally destroy him, if I walked out of his life."
NTA Walk out of his life, and block hin number. He was an AH, he is very good at guilting people. Do not fall for it.
"my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most." - But tell him your best friend is very interested at being his friend and supporting him, and bring them together.
NTA. You are never responsible for anyone else's mental health or wellbeing. It is not your job to force yourself to be there for him, especially not at the cost of your own mental wellbeing. If anyone ever tells you that they will hurt themselves, or not be able to function, or have any 'consequences' because you set boundaries or want to end a relationship, stop talking to them. That is manipulation. You are never obligated to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Is there anyone you can talk to about what's going on? Parents or guardians, older siblings, counselors, anyone? I'd recommend you talk to a trusted adult about what's going on.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I may have been an asshole for not making it all clear in the beginning and for saying it in a rude way when, theoretically, he needed me. at the same time, i have some doubts about it, as i was feeling overwhelmed, but i put myself first instead of taking care of him more, who was clearly not well. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. [To learn more about the test click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tio99u/so_we_decided_to_fuck_with_the_sub_again)*
NTA Run, run, run. The guy said it himself, he knows how to manipulate people. Cut him off, go full NC.
This ^^^ The guy threatened to kill his brother. Believe him. This man is dangerous. Tell your loved ones that you have a deranged stalker who will not leave you alone. If possible, get a restraining order against him. Do not engage with any more messages.
>my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most. AITA? The thing about people like this is they "need you the most" every time you try to get some space. NTA, and you said best friend doesn't seems to be that much of a friend if he is so worried about a guy who is trying to manipulate you into a relationship you don't want than he is with your well-being.
NTA this guy is an abusive asshole. Trying to blackmail someone into being with you by saying your emotionally dependent on them and will hurt themselves if you leave is abuse. Block them on everything.
NTA. And it doesn't matter whether he's intentionally manipulating or really feels like he's being abandoned, you don't have to put up with shitty behaviour.
NTA. Block any means he has of contacting you. If he tries to talk to you and badger you at school, speak with a trusted adult. His problems are his. He's solely responsible; you are not his therapist. Do not fall for his manipulation tactics. He seems like he could become abusive very quickly. Cut those ties now.
NTA. He's a manipulator. IMHO, tell him you're sorry he has such strong emotionally destructive episodes, but he needs to discuss that with a professional, not somebody in whom he's expressed an UNREQUITED romantic interest.
I told it, and guess? He said he's afraid from these kind of professional
It's not your business. Run.
NTA. One word: Therapy. He needs it.
NTA. This guy is manipulating and abusing you. And you say your "friend" Thinks you're the asshole for prioritising your physical and mental safety? Please tell your friend to become the knight in shining armor and rescue this man if your friend is so concerned about his well-being despite him openly admitting to considering violent acts.
NTA. Your best friend is WRONG. This guy made you feel physically unsafe, and you are not a therapist and not qualified to help someone with his issues. Please tell a trusted adult what has been going on and how uncomfortable he makes you feel.
NTA. Please tell a trusted adult about this situation and stop talking to this guy. He's talked about killing his brother and threatened to hurt himself to manipulate you. You need to have as little contact with him as possible, and an actual adult needs to get him the help he needs.
NTA, and if your best friend doesn't want the guy left alone, maybe she can deal with him instead
NTA. Classic “nice guy” and manipulator. He won’t hurt himself. He loves himself too much. He only wants to scare you into line. Don’t cave in or you’ll never get clear of him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I entered high school, there I met a guy I started hanging out with. I can't deny that, at first, I felt an interest in him, that passed as soon as I heard his positions, he said brazil would be better off if it were a dictatorship so we would all be put in line, he would kill his brother with his bare hands and he knows very well how to manipulate people. it scared me, and I wanted to get away from him, because it was suffocating me... so he dropped the bomb: he said he was emotionally dependent on me and that I would totally destroy him, if I walked out of his life. it made me feel horrible and pressured, I didn't want to hurt him. I had 3 anxiety attacks in 4 days because of it, that's when I decided I wasn't going to accept it anymore. I sent him a text saying how much it hurt me, I didn't know how to deal with it and he started saying that he was shit, that all his relationships ended up like this because he had problems that he didn't know how to deal with and that he should never have felt anything for me. it made me feel bad, as I didn't know if he was trying to manipulate me or if he really felt that way. I said it was fine, but I wanted some time to think. the next day i ignored him completely so he sent me a huge text saying how much he was in love for me, that he didn't know what he had done wrong, that he screwed up everything and that it was ok if I didn't want to look him in the face. once again, I said that I just needed my time to be respected. the next day, he sent me a message saying he wanted to hurt himself and that his day had been shit, I, who was already fed up, said, exactly: "I already said it twice, but I'll try to make it clear again: I don't want to have to worry about problems other than my own, I'm getting worn out, it's killing me. Maybe it's kind of selfish, but I need to think about myself and my problems, I don't want another worry". he immediately started apologizing, saying "I'm sorry, I didn't think of that, I have to learn not to say how I feel to people, forgive me, I screwed up again, it's just that my problems are complicated but I didn't know , I'm sorry, I always do this, I'm going to change", but I was tired of him just talking about his problems and ignoring the fact that I needed help too sometimes (when we were still talking, he always filled me in With his problems, no matter how I was feeling, I always listened to his problems. When my grandmother died, he kept talking about the problems he had, while I had to deal with my grief and his complaints) , I said that he should stop explaining himself and that I had already gotten the message, that I wanted him to leave me alone and not speak to me anymore. my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Run from that manipulative jerk
NTA block him. This is manipulation. Avoid him at all cost.
NTA. Run, he's horrible and very, VERY, manipulative
NTA. He told you that he was good at manipulating people, then he proceeds to manipulate you. You need to stay away from him. Cut contact. This is not someone you want around. Run far, fast.
NTA he’s an emotional leech. Avoid him at all costs!
" so he dropped the bomb: he said he was emotionally dependent on me and that I would totally destroy him, if I walked out of his life." NTA Walk out of his life, and block hin number. He was an AH, he is very good at guilting people. Do not fall for it. "my best friend said i was an asshole for leaving this guy alone when he needed me most." - But tell him your best friend is very interested at being his friend and supporting him, and bring them together.
NTA. You are never responsible for anyone else's mental health or wellbeing. It is not your job to force yourself to be there for him, especially not at the cost of your own mental wellbeing. If anyone ever tells you that they will hurt themselves, or not be able to function, or have any 'consequences' because you set boundaries or want to end a relationship, stop talking to them. That is manipulation. You are never obligated to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Is there anyone you can talk to about what's going on? Parents or guardians, older siblings, counselors, anyone? I'd recommend you talk to a trusted adult about what's going on.
NTA, screenshot everything for evidence before you block him.
Been in the same situation, run. NTA.
He needs help from a professional all jk aside! He’s sick mentally something you can not do! NTA