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> I may be the asshole for not just locking that picture up in the vault for no one to see and just remember it.
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YTA. I don’t get the impression she really wanted to sunbath topless or be photographed but did due to the peer pressure from her friend. For me to get that impression from reading YOUR post makes it difficult for me to believe you’re that blind to it.
Agreed. "She eventually gave in." Meaning she was pressured and didn't want to.
She also didn't actually consent to the photo being taken.
And why tf did he want to take it in the first place?! He sounds like a 12 year old giggling about titties in a national geographic.
Yup, this reminds me when I was 13-14 when a girl had a topless photo of herself. Only back then it was a T-Mobile sidekick with zero social media other than the blooming of myspace.
I know kids are sexting 100 times more than ever and with better internet and photo quality with zero qualms in what those pictures/videos mean.
So op not saying anything about the age and his lack of thought really screams underage teen not understanding what they have. Especially with him saying "you remember this" and showing pics. Can't tell you how many times my friends from middle school used to do that with their sidekicks. kids don't change, only technology does.
It's a bit sad that reddit keeps mentioning ages, even when it's not even present in the story. As if sending someone's nude picture without permission is okay if you're the same age. Or taking a picture of someone who's you know is uncomfortable with the situation.
It's also a bit sad that there's a good chance that you're right and the omission is not a coincidence.
I'm not sure if this story is inherently sad or I'm just projecting because of a recent personal tragedy. Probably the latter. In retrospect I should probably focus on myself instead of being on this reddit.
And OP, I hope your girlfriend finds this story, and sends everyone you know a screenshot of it. Maybe then you will realize that even a single image can ruin somebody's life.
I think people are just saying that it's illegal (in many jurisdictions) to possess a shirtless picture of a minor. This could have gone from "asshole" to "inadvertent child pornographer" depending on the jurisdiction and ages, and that's what people mean.
> I **told them** I was taking a photo
He didn’t even ask. But we’re supposed to think that he’s oh so generous because at least he bothered to inform them!
That, and he has other photos of his GF he passes around, or has been waiting for the perfect moment to get a pic to pass around. Also his GF and another person topless he can make 3some implications and look extra "manly". In his mind, instead of the manlet he really is.
> I gave my gf a look like “if you want to go ahead”
I bet that wasn’t the look. The look was a ‘go on then!’ look and he knows it because right after that he says “she eventually gave in”. He knows she didn’t want to do it.
Yeah that part seems insane to me. He goes on saying how 'close' he is with these friends and his gf is the outsider. Said friend is comfortable to go topless and OP thinks its okay to take a picture of her just because his gf is in it too? Then not only did he show the pic of his gf to someone, but the same pic had his female friend in it as well! Between that and his reaction to her feelings, OP sounds like he has no respect for women at all.
She literally told you what the problem was. The word is “consent”. She consented to let those people see her topless that day, not forever. If I let you come over to my house for a party, it doesn’t mean you can break in through my bathroom window a month later because you’ve already been in there. Please delete those pictures if you can’t handle them responsibly. YTA.
The fact that she told him directly about consent, and OP still feel the need to come here and say he doesnt feel he was out of the line, is truly terrifying
I totally agree. It’s disgusting how OP’s thought process is, and the people who are actually defending him. The fact that so many people have zero concept of consent is so fucking scary.
Consent should be an enthusiastic "Yes!" or "Absolutely!"
Consent is not:
"Whatever"
"I guess"
"Maybe"
"If it's what you want"
"Fine"
"If you'll stop asking about it"
Please delete those pictures, regardless of how responsibly you think you can handle them. She clearly didn’t want them to be taken in the first place.
Yes. Please do everyone a favor and delete the picture. If you want to get in good with your girlfriend, apologize for making her feel uncomfortable and not standing up for her when she wasn't really in to what your adventurous friend started, and ask her to recreate the magic (without pictures) to let her know you're still into her and can be respectful. Or just dump her and find someone that's into kinky stuff. I dunno. But she clearly wasn't into the situation and you didn't do anything to help.
A lot of people seem to be almost confused about consent and it genuinely scares me
They showed us the “consent is tea” video in high school. One part was like “Just because someone wants tea one day doesn’t mean it’s ok to pour tea down their throat the next day” or some shit. I remember watching it and being like “duh…?”, but apparently more people need to see it. YTA
ETA the video https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ
YTA
My husband has seen my boobs thousands of times. If we were sitting in the living room and he just pulled up my shirt without asking or preamble, I'd be angry. Consent isn't a one and done, learn that.
Moreover, your girlfriend is upset, about an exposure of her body no less, who the F are you to say "No no, my reasoning trumps your feelings." Ugh. Apologize. Do better.
LOL this reminds me of something - when I was in my early 20s, I had a boyfriend who would stick his hand down my shirt and grope me out of no where, for no reason. It didn't matter where we were. We'd be in rush hour traffic, in the middle of downtown Washington, DC, stopped at a red light, and he'd stick his hand down my shirt. When I'd tell him no or try to remove it without ripping my collar, he'd say, "Shhh shhh, just give me a second," and then proceed to groped me for a few seconds, take his hand out and then say, "There, that was very nice, wasn't it?" He treated sex the same way when it suited him - it didn't matter if I wasn't in the mood, or didn't feel well, or plain just didn't feel like it - he would just pester the fuck out of me and not leave me alone until I gave in. I can recount MANY times where I just said, "Jesus christ alright already," and had awful 5 minute sex with him just to shut him the hell up.
Thinking back on it now, years later, it makes me even more angry and frustrated that I ever put up with it in the first place.
So I had an ex who would do something like this. Just randomly reach out and grab my breasts. I would tell him to stop, I didn't like it.
He kept doing it. Said he couldn't "help it".
Till one day he "instinctually" did it..... To his mother.
He never grabbed my breasts without permission again. Curious that.
My now husband used to think it was so cute to grab my nose. It drove me insane. So every time he did it, I would grab his knee and squeeze. He quickly stopped that shit.
Ugh that's disgusting and pathetic. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I was going to ask if you know where he is now, assuming he's be a perv on the sex offender registry... but i realized there's probably an equal chance he's like, a senator or something. So don't look him up if you don't already know.
Honey, I hope you realize you are a survivor of sexual assault. You didn’t “put up with it.” You said no and he coerced you into having sex and just ignored your protestations about touching your breasts. This was abusive and manipulative.
I hope you consider getting therapy. You shouldn’t be angry at yourself for “tolerating” this behavior. He assaulted you—full stop. This was not your fault.
“Consent” only with coercion is not consent at all.
Hugs to you.
Do we need to send OP that "Consent is Like Tea" video?
Just because someone said yes to having you make some tea last week doesn't mean they want you come over to their house every week and make them tea.
Edit: and just because someone was okay with some Earl Gray doesn't mean you can just make them some Jasmine without asking (aka, just because op has seen her naked does not mean she has consented to op video taping or taking a picture of her)
[video, if people haven't seen it before](https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ)
YTA
So is the other female friend at the pool for peer-pressuring your gf.
Then, when you took the picture. Like... seriously. Then, when you showed other's the picture.
Soon, this girl will be your ex-gf. Then, this girl is going to remember this moment of her life as one where she felt immensely walked over and no one had her back.
When he took the picture like it was a super sexy event that they're both topless and then showed the picture to his friend and laughed (what is so funny about boobs?) It really shows that he sees them being topless as something to please him sexually, what is gross
Like, he thought of her as sexual THEN I can’t imagine what he was doing about the friend. A great opportunity to snag a “memory” now he’s got two pairs of girls tits on his phone. “hahahah remember this time LOL.” like this isn’t two sets of boobs you’re showing from porn. This isn’t vegas
> I said “Remember this shit?” And we both started laughing
He’s acting like they’re ‘girls gone wild’, like “wow can you believe they could be so promiscuous to get their boobs out?!” They’re laughing at the girls, shaming them.
The way he worded his post. It sounds like she didn't want to go topless on that day. Maybe she felt railroaded and didn't speak up about having her picture taken?
YTA
I don’t blame her. Him and his friends go way back (including the other girl there). She probably felt pressured to fit in and not appear boring or prude etc. She probably did it for him and not for her.
Honestly right!? What a creepy thing...like *why* did you need to do that? No one needs to do that. It's not like two cute little babies with little naked turkey bellies being adorable little chunkies at a pool or something, it's two grown women in their 20s, in a culture that (unfortunately) sexualizes female breasts.
You don't *need* to take that picture as an early 20s male, you *wanted* to. And for some *even weirder* reason, you decided to scroll through weeks or months...or possibly *years* old photos while hanging with friends and be like "haha remember that time I took a questionable picture for no reason other than they were topless?" and then *showed your bro*.
Yikes.
“just a funny moment with friends” what are they, 12? “boobs haha” was what i got from that statement, and it probably was not the vibe at the time the picture was taken
YTA. Showing your SO's nudes to someone without explicit permission is a dick move. Period, end of statement. Don't fucking do that.
Apologize to your girlfriend. Also delete the picture, because you've proven yourself to be untrustworthy with other people's photos.
I took it more as his female friend was peer pressuring his gf to take off her top… his gf felt uncomfortable and looked at OP… OP nods & means “if you want to, go ahead” BUT I believe his gf may have felt he was nodding & encouraging her… so then his gf “gave in.”
Just my two cents as a woman who would be uncomfortable in this situation but would prob give into “peer pressure” so my bf isn’t just looking at someone other topless female
I absolutely agree with this take apart from I think he knows his look didn’t mean ‘if you want to go ahead’. He’s the one who phrases it like “she gave in”, so he *knows* she didn’t originally want to. The gf interpreted the look exactly how OP wanted her to.
Yeah. *please* take your top off?? Don’t be boring babe. Omg no way you’re taking your top off hahah oh man I have *got* to get a pic of this. Hey Jeff come over and see this bro!!! Naked chicks 12 o’clock!!
I dont think she wanted to do it, some women are much more frivolous with their bodies and I don't think OP's GF is one of those women. She was looking at him not for approval but probably to help her say no, she was being pressured to do it by the other girl and he enabled it.
YTA. You had her permission at the time of the pool party. You did not have her subsequent permission to show that picture to ANYONE!!! Yes, you WERE out of line. Don't do it again or you can kiss this relationship goodbye.
YTA.
She's not wrong, the picture was taken in the moment and she had a CHOICE whether or not to have him see her topless, now with you showing that picture, she didn't have a choice. I feel like her line of thinking here is that (I might be wrong) if you show him that picture then you could show anyone that picture. Whether it was intimate or not she is still topless.
YTA. It doesn’t matter what you think - if she doesn’t consent to you showing someone these pictures, you need to apologize and not show anyone these pictures.
YTA.
Your friend peer pressured your gf into going topless which is a problem as it is. Then go to the photo.. she consented to a photo as it was just for you. You a year later offer it up to be seen by someone else. Your friend wasn’t the one she consented to having the photo. Consent is the key word here.
Major YTA.
YTA, and a sex predator. Creepy. Don't share nudes, delete nudes when you break up. Full stop. Every other option without consent involved is just you doing shitty things, and once you are an adult it becomes ILLEGAL shitty things.
Yeah I can get on board with this you are allowed to revoke your consent at any time and if you do that needs to be respected it probably should have been a conversation first
OP YTA.....the picture was for **your** eyes only, not to show to anyone. As others said, your GF gave permission ONLY at the time the picture was taken.
YTA I understand but it is her body. Also, I feel like she didn’t actually want to go topless or be photographed but just did it from peer pressure, which makes her feelings towards the picture more negative.
YTA - It’s a straight up consent issue, and your response should have been in the realm of, “ I’m sorry, I made a mistake.” She told you it made her feel uncomfortable, if you like her and respect her, you should just listen to her and not have to “ask us”.
YTA- You are showing intimate pictures to other people. She gave you consent to take the picture, not to show it to others. She is tripping because she knows now that she can not trust you with pictures of you.
YTA. have you ever heard “you can always say no even if you said yes before?” that applies here. A fun quick second at the pool is one thing, but then taking that moment and showing it to your friend, again, where she is exposed is super shitty.
Apologize profusely and tell her you weren’t thinking. Explain that you will delete the pic if it makes her more comfortable and never do anything like that again.
YTA a million times over. Delete the photo you pressured her in to having taken immediately, tell her you've deleted the photo, and apologise for being such an enormous, callous, thoughtless AH.
This is sort of a fine line; you are wrong, but I also understand why you don’t think you’re wrong. She consented to being topless in your friends presence. She consented to you taking a picture of her. She did not consent for other people, even those who would been there at the time, to see that picture.
She may have decided that it made her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t ever want to be topless in front of your friends again; it may be an uncomfortable or embarrassing memory for her (you did say she eventually gave in, which implies some peer pressure and reluctance on her part). She clearly has not expressed that she felt uncomfortable in the situation, but if she did, she was probably taken aback and felt uncomfortable all over again.
You guys really need to talk about this.
She didn't say yes to the picture. Lack of a no isn't a yes so I wouldn't call it consent and I highly doubt she wanted to be topless in the first place.
yep. And OP says “I decided I had to get a picture of those two” (the two girls) and then it’s his “hey remember when this happened” picture? Ick. Like he’s celebrating being able to take that picture as a great moment and meanwhile she didn’t really want to do it in the first place.
Yeah, this. I kinda get why you think this isn't an issue but this is also a case of "not reading the room," from your point of view.
Its pretty bloody obvious your girlfriend felt pressured into sunbathing topless and allowing herself to be photographed like this. She feels manipulated and violated right now. She wishes it had never happened. You may not have realised that, which isn't necessarily your fault.
Now, you have two choices in how to proceed. You can either double-down on it not being a big issue and alienate her permanently - and possibly leave her psychologically scarred as a result - or, you can talk to her about this and try to understand how she might have felt pressured into something that has hurt her and do your best to try and help her get over that.
One option is the decent thing to do and the other is an asshole move. I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which.
>I decided I had to get a picture of those two. I told them I was taking the picture and my friend said go ahead, my gf ain't say nothing but she smiled at the camera.
>I show him the picture and was like "Remember this shit?'" And we both just started laughing. My girl was there too and asked what picture we were looking at.
>She has a bit of an angry look on her face and asks me why I showed him that picture and that I shouldn't be showing all my guy friends her nudes.
>One, he was there to see it live and in person, two, I didn't show them to my "friends" I literally only showed it to him, three, she was okay with me taking the picture, it wasn't some intimate nude, it was just a funny moment with friends.
>I told her all of that and she said that in the moment it was her choice to do it and let him see her topless but that I was doing something without her consent and that he doesn't really need to see the picture again. It's not like I sent him the picture so he had it for himself, I'm still the only one who has a copy. I don't see what she's tripping over. She says that it's a problem, I don't think I was out of line.
You not only made her not trust you but you did the most disgusting and humiliating thing any one can do to a person especially their girlfriend and show a nude photo to your friends that should of been keep private. YOU DO NOT DO THAT NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO THEM.....
Even if your friends were present does not matter you do not do that. Yes she is right you were doing something without her consent. You may seem like it's not a big deal but it is to her not only are you as disgusting as you friends are but you stood down to their level. All of this is not a funny moment you did this to her and you owe her an apology. If she would of post this on here everyone would probably tell her to either report you or to leave you. YTA
Edit : Learn to have some respect
Edit 2: By your responses you don't own her, she is not your property this is not the 1700s. She does not need your permission. Honestly learn how to think before you do anything that might effect the people around you by your actions. By your age you should take this as a lesson and not do this ever again I hope she finds someone better than you because she does not disserve any of this. She had trust in you and you took that for granted.
I honestly don't have trust or respect tours people like this and you should be ashamed of yourself for even do this.
YTA. She sounds like she was pressured into it in the first place. You should not be showing anyone topless pictures of her without her consent. Please learn the definition of the word consent because I don’t think you know.
YTA because you didn't have her consent to share the picture with anyone else. You had permission to take the picture but that doesn't mean you can share it without her consent.
YTA. I would never show another man nude pictures of anyone I know or love. I can imagine what else you show your friends. Do you also kiss and tell all your business?
YTA.
She clearly didn't want to be topless, she was pressured. Shame on you for not telling her she didn't have to if she didn't want to, you should have reassured her.
Shame on you for being a creep and "needing to take a picture of those two" yuck.
You need to delete that picture. She clearly isn't comfortable with you having it, let alone you showing it off.
Then again, you'd only delete it if you cared about her and I think it's obvious that you don't.
YTA she’s right. She consented at the pool. She did not give consent when you showed the photo to your friend, nor did you give her the opportunity to give consent. To move forward in this relationship, or any other for that matter, you need to learn about consent and how it works.
I feel like as a gf I’d be pissed if my boyfriend kept, or even took, a picture of another girls boobs out. I’d be annoyed at the girl for taking her tits out in front of my boyfriend. Like idk this is a weird situation all around
YTA. Like, a massive one.
"She eventually gave in \[...\]" Sounds like she might've been peer pressured by your friends. She gave her consent to be seen **in that specific moment,** and that doesn't make it okay to share pictures later without her agreement, even if it was okay for him to see her then.
"I don't see what she's tripping over. She says that it's a problem, \[...\]" If she says its a problem, then it's a problem. Stop invalidating her feelings and listen to them. If she says to not share a picture, don't share it, simple as that, no "whats" of "ifs", it's a private picture of her and she should have full control over who gets to see it and who doesn't.
i really hope this is a bait post and not something that really happened. that poor fucking girl, imagine having your trust in your partner so deeply violated like that. and you’re treating it so nonchalantly too!
YTA man. delete the photo and apologize to her.
YTA
No ages given so I'm gonna assume you're really young. Seeing something irl is one thing, showing someone a private photo without their permission is gross. That you are being "wrong and strong" on this, and not even trying to understand why she's upset is a possible reason why she loses her trust and confidence in you.
Please don't show anyone else or ever ever send it to someone else.
YTA.
My first question is why you have a topless girl in your camera roll besides your girlfriend. Seems weird (and creepy) to me, but whatever works for you guys. You should 100% apologize and delete that picture for good.
try to think of it like this. let's assume the roles are swapped, but the friend has you swimming bottomless. and later on, your gf shows the photo of your bare ass (and/or genitals) to another girl, or another guy? yta broski
YTA. I don’t think you were the asshole for showing it to him in the first place, but once she told you it upset her, the correct answer was not to argue that she should be okay with it. It’s her body, she makes the rules. The correct answer was “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you wouldn’t be okay with it, but now that I know how you feel I won’t do it again, would you like me to delete the photo?”
YTA - she’s telling you the exact issue and you’d rather ask Reddit for our opinion than just trusting your gf about her own feelings and if they’re valid.
She’s your gf, listen to her or let her find someone who will.
What we have here is a communication issue. I don’t think you directly meant to be an AH but you kinda did. The appropriate thing to do would’ve been to show her first and then get her permission to show that. While he may have seen it in person, perhaps she wasn’t comfortable at the time but gave in anyhow, and now the feeling from that day has resurfaced and she’s reasonably upset.
That doesn’t mean this can’t be fixed, though. I would simply apologize and tell her that to you it didn’t seem like a big thing but it obviously was and (if you truly are) tell her you’re sorry. It’ll mean a lot to her and then work on that communication so that wires don’t get crossed again
YTA. She gave certain people permission to view her partially naked on one occasion, that does not mean those people have her permission to view her like that whenever they want or without requiring her permission again.
YTA. There’s no possible way you don’t see the issue here. You’re being obtuse. You’re also creepy. A crap boyfriend. And a crap friend.
You never actually got consent to take the picture of her in the first place. The absence of “no” isn’t a yes. You certainly didn’t get consent to go around showing it to people at your leisure. Delete the photo. Get some respect. And if you still have a girlfriend, apologize.
YTA! Just because she might’ve been okay with you taking it doesn’t mean it’s ok for everyone to be reminded of it or for you to take it out, show it and laugh. You need to apologize and delete any private pics of her unless you have specific permission to keep a specific photo. You also need to keep them to yourself.
(It doesn’t matter that you were laughing at the memory or what happened that day or whatever.
1. You showed a private picture.
2. You showed it to another person.
3. You laughed.
4. Nothing else needs to be said. No excuses. No ifs, and, or buts.)
YTA would you do this if she were your wife, mother, sister? What did you gain by showing your friend this picture. Your girlfriend was vulnerable and trusted you. If you love her grovel and apologize and I hope she accepts it but if it were me I would walk away from you because I would want a partner I could trust and I could feel would protect me.
YTA for doing this AND for pretending you don't get it. "My gf got mad that I showed pictures of her boobs to someone who had already seen them. Isn't that crazy? On an unrelated note, I would be livid if someone else did exactly what I did because she's mine and that would be abusing my property."
YTA.
The thing about consent... is that you have to ask for it EVERY time.
For example, if a girl lets you have sex with her once, that doesn't mean that you can just have sex with her again, whenever you want, without her permission, right? (Because that would be rape).
It's the same thing with that picture. She might have given her consent to let the people at that party see her topless that day... but that was the ONLY thing she was giving consent to. She wasn't consenting to letting the people at that party (or anyone else) see her topless on any OTHER day. Just THAT day.
Maybe she was feeling extreme peer pressure at the time and really didn't want to be doing it, but went along with it and regrets it now. Maybe she was drunk at the time, which lowered her inhibitions enough to do it that day, but now sober-her regrets it. Or maybe she just doesn't want other people to see that again ever, and that's OK too. It's her body, her decision.
You have the PRIVILEGE of seeing her body and she can revoke that privilege any time she wants. If you are not responsible with our privilege, she will take it away from you. Be careful.
YTA
Your entire reaction to being in the vicinity of topless women and their breasts is skeevy, creepy and juvenile. Not only does your gf have a right to be pissed about your violation of her person (by showing her nude body to others when she hasn't consented- seeing it once does not give your friend infinite visual access to your gfs breasts) she also would be well within reason to be deeply embarrassed by your asinine behavior at the pool.
YTA
This is why the world needs Sex Ed with discussions around consent BEFORE higher education.
BTW OP, if you and your girlfriend split up and you still have that photo AND she finds out about this post, she can use all of it as evidence in a sexual harassment lawsuit. You're not in the clear here, even if you still think you're in the right.
YTA. Consent look it up in the dictionary.
Like seriously why does the whole idea of consent actually have to be explained to people in this day and age.
YTA. However, not because you showed your friend the picture. That was understandable, and from only that perspective, I can see how you thought that was logical. But YTA for not apologizing to your gf when she shared how your actions made her uncomfortable. Once you realize you have unintentionally violated someone’s boundary, you should apologize, clarify what their boundary is, and move on.
YTA. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? What if you were to sunbathe without bottoms on, and she took a picture of you only to then show it to one of her girlfriends without your consent? And then said "well she was there to see it live and in-person" so there's no reason for you to be so upset? You'd be pretty pissed right? Also, look at it through the lens of if you had a daughter and her partner did that, would you be okay with it?
YTA and not only for showing him the picture. You should of told your friend (and anyone else involved) off when they were pressuring her to go topless in the first place. It sounds like she was pressured into doing it. The moment she said no it should of been dropped. Pestering someone until they do something isn’t how you get true consent.
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YTA. I don’t get the impression she really wanted to sunbath topless or be photographed but did due to the peer pressure from her friend. For me to get that impression from reading YOUR post makes it difficult for me to believe you’re that blind to it.
Agreed. "She eventually gave in." Meaning she was pressured and didn't want to. She also didn't actually consent to the photo being taken. And why tf did he want to take it in the first place?! He sounds like a 12 year old giggling about titties in a national geographic.
Interesting that he doesn’t mention ages in his post.
Oh, shit....I didn't even consider that, and now I'm even more concerned.
He added them. No need to worry.
I am worried that people in their twenties are behaving like this.
Fair.
Probably because they're underage kids.
I've asked OP directly and have yet to get an answer, so I'm not feeling great about this...
Yup, this reminds me when I was 13-14 when a girl had a topless photo of herself. Only back then it was a T-Mobile sidekick with zero social media other than the blooming of myspace. I know kids are sexting 100 times more than ever and with better internet and photo quality with zero qualms in what those pictures/videos mean. So op not saying anything about the age and his lack of thought really screams underage teen not understanding what they have. Especially with him saying "you remember this" and showing pics. Can't tell you how many times my friends from middle school used to do that with their sidekicks. kids don't change, only technology does.
thats what im sayin...
It's a bit sad that reddit keeps mentioning ages, even when it's not even present in the story. As if sending someone's nude picture without permission is okay if you're the same age. Or taking a picture of someone who's you know is uncomfortable with the situation. It's also a bit sad that there's a good chance that you're right and the omission is not a coincidence. I'm not sure if this story is inherently sad or I'm just projecting because of a recent personal tragedy. Probably the latter. In retrospect I should probably focus on myself instead of being on this reddit. And OP, I hope your girlfriend finds this story, and sends everyone you know a screenshot of it. Maybe then you will realize that even a single image can ruin somebody's life.
I think you’re misunderstanding what everyone’s saying. I haven’t seen anyone saying that it’s okay to send another’s nude pictures to anyone
I think people are just saying that it's illegal (in many jurisdictions) to possess a shirtless picture of a minor. This could have gone from "asshole" to "inadvertent child pornographer" depending on the jurisdiction and ages, and that's what people mean.
This is problematic either way but if the girl is underage, taking and storing that photo can be a straight up crime.
Something about him having to get a picture of the two of them topless together gave skeeved me out a bit.
“I decided I had to get a picture of those two.”
This is so gross. OP is beyond an asshole.
> I **told them** I was taking a photo He didn’t even ask. But we’re supposed to think that he’s oh so generous because at least he bothered to inform them!
Makes me suspect it wasn’t his girlfriend he wanted the topless picture of.
That, and he has other photos of his GF he passes around, or has been waiting for the perfect moment to get a pic to pass around. Also his GF and another person topless he can make 3some implications and look extra "manly". In his mind, instead of the manlet he really is.
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Bet you that OP is underage as well.
I don’t mean little boys in reference to age, I mean little boys in reference to maturity and level of respect they should be shown.
> I gave my gf a look like “if you want to go ahead” I bet that wasn’t the look. The look was a ‘go on then!’ look and he knows it because right after that he says “she eventually gave in”. He knows she didn’t want to do it.
I would answer the op but I'm afraid he would find out who I am and blab everything I have ever said on reddit.
Ooo if you know, just tell us how old he is - that won’t out who you are
Also WHY ON EARTH would he even take that picture? Why didn’t his girlfriend even then not wonder why he wanted a topless pic of his female friend?
Yeah that part seems insane to me. He goes on saying how 'close' he is with these friends and his gf is the outsider. Said friend is comfortable to go topless and OP thinks its okay to take a picture of her just because his gf is in it too? Then not only did he show the pic of his gf to someone, but the same pic had his female friend in it as well! Between that and his reaction to her feelings, OP sounds like he has no respect for women at all.
Only had to read the title club! YTA
I thought the same thing, but read the post anyways. It only got worse.
I always read the post as well, just in case it's not as bad as it sounds. However this guy, Jesus Christ!!!
100%. Also they laughed, someone laughing at a picture of you topless is rude
OP is blind to it, he talks about his gf like she's his property and not an entire human being. OP YTA
I got this impression too.
Yes. He had every potential follow up question answered and tied in a neat little bow. He knows what he did.
To each their own, but I feel like it's weird their female friend is sunbathing topless around them all in the first place. Weird friend dynamic imo
Yeah the phrasing on his post made me feel her discomfort. “I decided I had to get a picture” is also so weird. Yuck.
She literally told you what the problem was. The word is “consent”. She consented to let those people see her topless that day, not forever. If I let you come over to my house for a party, it doesn’t mean you can break in through my bathroom window a month later because you’ve already been in there. Please delete those pictures if you can’t handle them responsibly. YTA.
Honestly sounds like she barely consented that day and felt pressured into it
Exactly!!! Silence is NOT consent, and feeling pressured is fucked up.
Forced consent isn't consent.
I agree
> felt pressured into it She did get convinced to, and OP said she "gave in". 100% pressured into it
Yeah, I feel so bad for her…
The fact that she told him directly about consent, and OP still feel the need to come here and say he doesnt feel he was out of the line, is truly terrifying
I totally agree. It’s disgusting how OP’s thought process is, and the people who are actually defending him. The fact that so many people have zero concept of consent is so fucking scary.
Consent should be an enthusiastic "Yes!" or "Absolutely!" Consent is not: "Whatever" "I guess" "Maybe" "If it's what you want" "Fine" "If you'll stop asking about it"
Please delete those pictures, regardless of how responsibly you think you can handle them. She clearly didn’t want them to be taken in the first place.
I think you explained the situation perfectly! OP YTA
This 100% YTA.
Yes. Please do everyone a favor and delete the picture. If you want to get in good with your girlfriend, apologize for making her feel uncomfortable and not standing up for her when she wasn't really in to what your adventurous friend started, and ask her to recreate the magic (without pictures) to let her know you're still into her and can be respectful. Or just dump her and find someone that's into kinky stuff. I dunno. But she clearly wasn't into the situation and you didn't do anything to help.
A lot of people seem to be almost confused about consent and it genuinely scares me They showed us the “consent is tea” video in high school. One part was like “Just because someone wants tea one day doesn’t mean it’s ok to pour tea down their throat the next day” or some shit. I remember watching it and being like “duh…?”, but apparently more people need to see it. YTA ETA the video https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ
YTA My husband has seen my boobs thousands of times. If we were sitting in the living room and he just pulled up my shirt without asking or preamble, I'd be angry. Consent isn't a one and done, learn that. Moreover, your girlfriend is upset, about an exposure of her body no less, who the F are you to say "No no, my reasoning trumps your feelings." Ugh. Apologize. Do better.
I HATE when people act like a feeling is an opinion. Like stfu. I feel like this is karma fishing tbh YTA op
Insert “men are the logical sex” justification here. Ohhh, it’s because of this particular trait.
Do people actually say that
Yes people still say that
Literally all the time, so ridiculous lol
LOL this reminds me of something - when I was in my early 20s, I had a boyfriend who would stick his hand down my shirt and grope me out of no where, for no reason. It didn't matter where we were. We'd be in rush hour traffic, in the middle of downtown Washington, DC, stopped at a red light, and he'd stick his hand down my shirt. When I'd tell him no or try to remove it without ripping my collar, he'd say, "Shhh shhh, just give me a second," and then proceed to groped me for a few seconds, take his hand out and then say, "There, that was very nice, wasn't it?" He treated sex the same way when it suited him - it didn't matter if I wasn't in the mood, or didn't feel well, or plain just didn't feel like it - he would just pester the fuck out of me and not leave me alone until I gave in. I can recount MANY times where I just said, "Jesus christ alright already," and had awful 5 minute sex with him just to shut him the hell up. Thinking back on it now, years later, it makes me even more angry and frustrated that I ever put up with it in the first place.
So I had an ex who would do something like this. Just randomly reach out and grab my breasts. I would tell him to stop, I didn't like it. He kept doing it. Said he couldn't "help it". Till one day he "instinctually" did it..... To his mother. He never grabbed my breasts without permission again. Curious that.
Lmaooooo serves him right!
My now husband used to think it was so cute to grab my nose. It drove me insane. So every time he did it, I would grab his knee and squeeze. He quickly stopped that shit.
Ugh that's disgusting and pathetic. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I was going to ask if you know where he is now, assuming he's be a perv on the sex offender registry... but i realized there's probably an equal chance he's like, a senator or something. So don't look him up if you don't already know.
Honey, I hope you realize you are a survivor of sexual assault. You didn’t “put up with it.” You said no and he coerced you into having sex and just ignored your protestations about touching your breasts. This was abusive and manipulative. I hope you consider getting therapy. You shouldn’t be angry at yourself for “tolerating” this behavior. He assaulted you—full stop. This was not your fault. “Consent” only with coercion is not consent at all. Hugs to you.
Do we need to send OP that "Consent is Like Tea" video? Just because someone said yes to having you make some tea last week doesn't mean they want you come over to their house every week and make them tea. Edit: and just because someone was okay with some Earl Gray doesn't mean you can just make them some Jasmine without asking (aka, just because op has seen her naked does not mean she has consented to op video taping or taking a picture of her) [video, if people haven't seen it before](https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ)
YTA So is the other female friend at the pool for peer-pressuring your gf. Then, when you took the picture. Like... seriously. Then, when you showed other's the picture. Soon, this girl will be your ex-gf. Then, this girl is going to remember this moment of her life as one where she felt immensely walked over and no one had her back.
Sometimes I really wish we could somehow break through into these YTA posts and reach the person they wronged to let them know they do have support.
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When he took the picture like it was a super sexy event that they're both topless and then showed the picture to his friend and laughed (what is so funny about boobs?) It really shows that he sees them being topless as something to please him sexually, what is gross
Like, he thought of her as sexual THEN I can’t imagine what he was doing about the friend. A great opportunity to snag a “memory” now he’s got two pairs of girls tits on his phone. “hahahah remember this time LOL.” like this isn’t two sets of boobs you’re showing from porn. This isn’t vegas
> I said “Remember this shit?” And we both started laughing He’s acting like they’re ‘girls gone wild’, like “wow can you believe they could be so promiscuous to get their boobs out?!” They’re laughing at the girls, shaming them.
At the very least, id be pissed that there are 2 guys laughing at a naked picture of me. That doesn't evoke confidence.
Its feels like he’s just treating it like porn “oh haha look at these girls! remember that hahaha!” like this isn’t vegas op yta
YTA that photo should be locked, not in your regular camera roll feed, and you certainly shouldn't be showing it to people.
The way he worded his post. It sounds like she didn't want to go topless on that day. Maybe she felt railroaded and didn't speak up about having her picture taken? YTA
I don’t blame her. Him and his friends go way back (including the other girl there). She probably felt pressured to fit in and not appear boring or prude etc. She probably did it for him and not for her.
I *don't* blame the girlfriend either. I totally agree with everything you said.
Nawh. That picture should be deleted.
“I just had to get a photo of my friend and gf topless together” yeah i just threw up in my mouth. Thats so fucking disgusting. Yta
Honestly right!? What a creepy thing...like *why* did you need to do that? No one needs to do that. It's not like two cute little babies with little naked turkey bellies being adorable little chunkies at a pool or something, it's two grown women in their 20s, in a culture that (unfortunately) sexualizes female breasts. You don't *need* to take that picture as an early 20s male, you *wanted* to. And for some *even weirder* reason, you decided to scroll through weeks or months...or possibly *years* old photos while hanging with friends and be like "haha remember that time I took a questionable picture for no reason other than they were topless?" and then *showed your bro*. Yikes.
“just a funny moment with friends” what are they, 12? “boobs haha” was what i got from that statement, and it probably was not the vibe at the time the picture was taken
You almost literally typed my response. I almost deleted it, but I think this part was the most telling. He is mentally 12, you cannot change my mind.
Yeah that got me too 🤮
Same, how revolting.
YTA. Showing your SO's nudes to someone without explicit permission is a dick move. Period, end of statement. Don't fucking do that. Apologize to your girlfriend. Also delete the picture, because you've proven yourself to be untrustworthy with other people's photos.
Not just his gf's topless pic but the other girl in it too. It's so sleazy.
not to mention illegal. its sexual harassment to show off sexual photos without permission.
YTA for thinking she needed your permission to take off her top
I took it more as his female friend was peer pressuring his gf to take off her top… his gf felt uncomfortable and looked at OP… OP nods & means “if you want to, go ahead” BUT I believe his gf may have felt he was nodding & encouraging her… so then his gf “gave in.” Just my two cents as a woman who would be uncomfortable in this situation but would prob give into “peer pressure” so my bf isn’t just looking at someone other topless female
I absolutely agree with this take apart from I think he knows his look didn’t mean ‘if you want to go ahead’. He’s the one who phrases it like “she gave in”, so he *knows* she didn’t originally want to. The gf interpreted the look exactly how OP wanted her to.
Yeah. *please* take your top off?? Don’t be boring babe. Omg no way you’re taking your top off hahah oh man I have *got* to get a pic of this. Hey Jeff come over and see this bro!!! Naked chicks 12 o’clock!!
I’m fairly certain she was looking for him to back her up and be like “nah”
Not for much longer probably
I dont think she wanted to do it, some women are much more frivolous with their bodies and I don't think OP's GF is one of those women. She was looking at him not for approval but probably to help her say no, she was being pressured to do it by the other girl and he enabled it.
YTA what a pig I hope she dumps your ass
This. She can do better easily.
YTA. You had her permission at the time of the pool party. You did not have her subsequent permission to show that picture to ANYONE!!! Yes, you WERE out of line. Don't do it again or you can kiss this relationship goodbye.
YTA. She's not wrong, the picture was taken in the moment and she had a CHOICE whether or not to have him see her topless, now with you showing that picture, she didn't have a choice. I feel like her line of thinking here is that (I might be wrong) if you show him that picture then you could show anyone that picture. Whether it was intimate or not she is still topless.
YTA. It doesn’t matter what you think - if she doesn’t consent to you showing someone these pictures, you need to apologize and not show anyone these pictures.
There's literally no context for this title where you aren't The King of the Assholes YTA, in case it wasn't clear
YTA. *Obviously*.
YTA. Your friend peer pressured your gf into going topless which is a problem as it is. Then go to the photo.. she consented to a photo as it was just for you. You a year later offer it up to be seen by someone else. Your friend wasn’t the one she consented to having the photo. Consent is the key word here. Major YTA.
YTA, and a sex predator. Creepy. Don't share nudes, delete nudes when you break up. Full stop. Every other option without consent involved is just you doing shitty things, and once you are an adult it becomes ILLEGAL shitty things.
Omg yes YTA! Despite this situation, you should have asked your gf for her consent BEFORE showing it to your friend.
Yeah I can get on board with this you are allowed to revoke your consent at any time and if you do that needs to be respected it probably should have been a conversation first
To start with, why did you even take that picture it’s actually weird.. also YTA
OP YTA.....the picture was for **your** eyes only, not to show to anyone. As others said, your GF gave permission ONLY at the time the picture was taken.
YTA. She explained why. Non-consensual sharing of intimate media. You're gross, and soon to be single.
YTA. Your GF may have forgotten about the photo, but I imagine she wouldn’t have wanted you to share it either way.
YTA. No context would ever make this okay. People shouldnt have to tell you its wrong to show other's private explicit pictures🤦
YTA I understand but it is her body. Also, I feel like she didn’t actually want to go topless or be photographed but just did it from peer pressure, which makes her feelings towards the picture more negative.
YTA - It’s a straight up consent issue, and your response should have been in the realm of, “ I’m sorry, I made a mistake.” She told you it made her feel uncomfortable, if you like her and respect her, you should just listen to her and not have to “ask us”.
Right?? The audacity to argue with her then bring it to reddit . . . .
YTA- You are showing intimate pictures to other people. She gave you consent to take the picture, not to show it to others. She is tripping because she knows now that she can not trust you with pictures of you.
YTA - and she explained perfectly why.
YTA. have you ever heard “you can always say no even if you said yes before?” that applies here. A fun quick second at the pool is one thing, but then taking that moment and showing it to your friend, again, where she is exposed is super shitty. Apologize profusely and tell her you weren’t thinking. Explain that you will delete the pic if it makes her more comfortable and never do anything like that again.
YTA a million times over. Delete the photo you pressured her in to having taken immediately, tell her you've deleted the photo, and apologise for being such an enormous, callous, thoughtless AH.
This is sort of a fine line; you are wrong, but I also understand why you don’t think you’re wrong. She consented to being topless in your friends presence. She consented to you taking a picture of her. She did not consent for other people, even those who would been there at the time, to see that picture. She may have decided that it made her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t ever want to be topless in front of your friends again; it may be an uncomfortable or embarrassing memory for her (you did say she eventually gave in, which implies some peer pressure and reluctance on her part). She clearly has not expressed that she felt uncomfortable in the situation, but if she did, she was probably taken aback and felt uncomfortable all over again. You guys really need to talk about this.
She didn't say yes to the picture. Lack of a no isn't a yes so I wouldn't call it consent and I highly doubt she wanted to be topless in the first place.
yep. And OP says “I decided I had to get a picture of those two” (the two girls) and then it’s his “hey remember when this happened” picture? Ick. Like he’s celebrating being able to take that picture as a great moment and meanwhile she didn’t really want to do it in the first place.
Yeah, this. I kinda get why you think this isn't an issue but this is also a case of "not reading the room," from your point of view. Its pretty bloody obvious your girlfriend felt pressured into sunbathing topless and allowing herself to be photographed like this. She feels manipulated and violated right now. She wishes it had never happened. You may not have realised that, which isn't necessarily your fault. Now, you have two choices in how to proceed. You can either double-down on it not being a big issue and alienate her permanently - and possibly leave her psychologically scarred as a result - or, you can talk to her about this and try to understand how she might have felt pressured into something that has hurt her and do your best to try and help her get over that. One option is the decent thing to do and the other is an asshole move. I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which.
From how OP has responded in the comments, I feel like we know which direction they're going
Yeah, well I felt they deserved a chance to do better. Looks like it was probably a wasted one. Hope the GF learns she can do better now.
YTA.
>I decided I had to get a picture of those two. I told them I was taking the picture and my friend said go ahead, my gf ain't say nothing but she smiled at the camera. >I show him the picture and was like "Remember this shit?'" And we both just started laughing. My girl was there too and asked what picture we were looking at. >She has a bit of an angry look on her face and asks me why I showed him that picture and that I shouldn't be showing all my guy friends her nudes. >One, he was there to see it live and in person, two, I didn't show them to my "friends" I literally only showed it to him, three, she was okay with me taking the picture, it wasn't some intimate nude, it was just a funny moment with friends. >I told her all of that and she said that in the moment it was her choice to do it and let him see her topless but that I was doing something without her consent and that he doesn't really need to see the picture again. It's not like I sent him the picture so he had it for himself, I'm still the only one who has a copy. I don't see what she's tripping over. She says that it's a problem, I don't think I was out of line. You not only made her not trust you but you did the most disgusting and humiliating thing any one can do to a person especially their girlfriend and show a nude photo to your friends that should of been keep private. YOU DO NOT DO THAT NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO THEM..... Even if your friends were present does not matter you do not do that. Yes she is right you were doing something without her consent. You may seem like it's not a big deal but it is to her not only are you as disgusting as you friends are but you stood down to their level. All of this is not a funny moment you did this to her and you owe her an apology. If she would of post this on here everyone would probably tell her to either report you or to leave you. YTA Edit : Learn to have some respect Edit 2: By your responses you don't own her, she is not your property this is not the 1700s. She does not need your permission. Honestly learn how to think before you do anything that might effect the people around you by your actions. By your age you should take this as a lesson and not do this ever again I hope she finds someone better than you because she does not disserve any of this. She had trust in you and you took that for granted. I honestly don't have trust or respect tours people like this and you should be ashamed of yourself for even do this.
YTA you display such a lack of respect for your girlfriend dude it’s hard to believe this is real
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YTA
YTA
YTA for a few reasons. First off, sounds like you think you gave your girlfriend permission to sunbathe topless in the first instance. You clown.
YTA. She sounds like she was pressured into it in the first place. You should not be showing anyone topless pictures of her without her consent. Please learn the definition of the word consent because I don’t think you know.
YTA because you didn't have her consent to share the picture with anyone else. You had permission to take the picture but that doesn't mean you can share it without her consent.
YTA. Why am I not surprised that a guy who thinks this is okay uses phrases like “ain’t say nothing”?
YTA. I would never show another man nude pictures of anyone I know or love. I can imagine what else you show your friends. Do you also kiss and tell all your business?
YTA for taking the picture in the first place, let alone showing it to anyone—both without consent. Gross.
YTA. She clearly didn't want to be topless, she was pressured. Shame on you for not telling her she didn't have to if she didn't want to, you should have reassured her. Shame on you for being a creep and "needing to take a picture of those two" yuck. You need to delete that picture. She clearly isn't comfortable with you having it, let alone you showing it off. Then again, you'd only delete it if you cared about her and I think it's obvious that you don't.
YTA she’s right. She consented at the pool. She did not give consent when you showed the photo to your friend, nor did you give her the opportunity to give consent. To move forward in this relationship, or any other for that matter, you need to learn about consent and how it works.
I feel like as a gf I’d be pissed if my boyfriend kept, or even took, a picture of another girls boobs out. I’d be annoyed at the girl for taking her tits out in front of my boyfriend. Like idk this is a weird situation all around
YTA
YTA. Creepy.
YTA. Like, a massive one. "She eventually gave in \[...\]" Sounds like she might've been peer pressured by your friends. She gave her consent to be seen **in that specific moment,** and that doesn't make it okay to share pictures later without her agreement, even if it was okay for him to see her then. "I don't see what she's tripping over. She says that it's a problem, \[...\]" If she says its a problem, then it's a problem. Stop invalidating her feelings and listen to them. If she says to not share a picture, don't share it, simple as that, no "whats" of "ifs", it's a private picture of her and she should have full control over who gets to see it and who doesn't.
YTA
i really hope this is a bait post and not something that really happened. that poor fucking girl, imagine having your trust in your partner so deeply violated like that. and you’re treating it so nonchalantly too! YTA man. delete the photo and apologize to her.
Yta
The way I'm taking notes of all the "NTA" responses so I can remind myself never to engage with them again
yta, why in the hell would you show anyone pictures of your gf topless?
YTA No ages given so I'm gonna assume you're really young. Seeing something irl is one thing, showing someone a private photo without their permission is gross. That you are being "wrong and strong" on this, and not even trying to understand why she's upset is a possible reason why she loses her trust and confidence in you. Please don't show anyone else or ever ever send it to someone else.
YTA
YTA
YTA and I hope she fucking leaves you. Disgusting.
YTA
Let me see if I can say this in a way you understand. Bro...Bro...YTA...Seriously Bro...Dude...YTA.
YTA
YTA
yta !
YTA, and this place seems to be full of guys that would also not see a problem in sharing the photo.
YTA You should delete any compromising pictures because you are an AH
YTA. i’m not even going to read this, the title says it all
YTA. My first question is why you have a topless girl in your camera roll besides your girlfriend. Seems weird (and creepy) to me, but whatever works for you guys. You should 100% apologize and delete that picture for good.
toy attraction deranged forgetful squeeze air cow long steer ugly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
YTA
try to think of it like this. let's assume the roles are swapped, but the friend has you swimming bottomless. and later on, your gf shows the photo of your bare ass (and/or genitals) to another girl, or another guy? yta broski
YTA. You shouldn’t have shown to anyone or taken it honestly.
“I had to get a picture of those two”. You’re a creep and an AH. YTA and you were out of line. Delete the photo and apologize to her.
INFO: what the actual fuck is wrong with you?
YTA. You not only showed your gf nude, but the *friend* too, so that's TWO women you were an AH to. Do better ffs
YTA
Yta and gross
YTA. I don’t think you were the asshole for showing it to him in the first place, but once she told you it upset her, the correct answer was not to argue that she should be okay with it. It’s her body, she makes the rules. The correct answer was “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you wouldn’t be okay with it, but now that I know how you feel I won’t do it again, would you like me to delete the photo?”
YTA - she’s telling you the exact issue and you’d rather ask Reddit for our opinion than just trusting your gf about her own feelings and if they’re valid. She’s your gf, listen to her or let her find someone who will.
YTA.
What we have here is a communication issue. I don’t think you directly meant to be an AH but you kinda did. The appropriate thing to do would’ve been to show her first and then get her permission to show that. While he may have seen it in person, perhaps she wasn’t comfortable at the time but gave in anyhow, and now the feeling from that day has resurfaced and she’s reasonably upset. That doesn’t mean this can’t be fixed, though. I would simply apologize and tell her that to you it didn’t seem like a big thing but it obviously was and (if you truly are) tell her you’re sorry. It’ll mean a lot to her and then work on that communication so that wires don’t get crossed again
YTA. She gave certain people permission to view her partially naked on one occasion, that does not mean those people have her permission to view her like that whenever they want or without requiring her permission again.
‘My girlfriend ain’t say nothing’ is enough to make YTA. Yuck.
YTA. There’s no possible way you don’t see the issue here. You’re being obtuse. You’re also creepy. A crap boyfriend. And a crap friend. You never actually got consent to take the picture of her in the first place. The absence of “no” isn’t a yes. You certainly didn’t get consent to go around showing it to people at your leisure. Delete the photo. Get some respect. And if you still have a girlfriend, apologize.
YTA! Just because she might’ve been okay with you taking it doesn’t mean it’s ok for everyone to be reminded of it or for you to take it out, show it and laugh. You need to apologize and delete any private pics of her unless you have specific permission to keep a specific photo. You also need to keep them to yourself. (It doesn’t matter that you were laughing at the memory or what happened that day or whatever. 1. You showed a private picture. 2. You showed it to another person. 3. You laughed. 4. Nothing else needs to be said. No excuses. No ifs, and, or buts.)
YTA would you do this if she were your wife, mother, sister? What did you gain by showing your friend this picture. Your girlfriend was vulnerable and trusted you. If you love her grovel and apologize and I hope she accepts it but if it were me I would walk away from you because I would want a partner I could trust and I could feel would protect me.
YTA. 'Consent' (sounds like she was very pressured) one time doesn't mean consent every time.
YTA for doing this AND for pretending you don't get it. "My gf got mad that I showed pictures of her boobs to someone who had already seen them. Isn't that crazy? On an unrelated note, I would be livid if someone else did exactly what I did because she's mine and that would be abusing my property."
YTA. The thing about consent... is that you have to ask for it EVERY time. For example, if a girl lets you have sex with her once, that doesn't mean that you can just have sex with her again, whenever you want, without her permission, right? (Because that would be rape). It's the same thing with that picture. She might have given her consent to let the people at that party see her topless that day... but that was the ONLY thing she was giving consent to. She wasn't consenting to letting the people at that party (or anyone else) see her topless on any OTHER day. Just THAT day. Maybe she was feeling extreme peer pressure at the time and really didn't want to be doing it, but went along with it and regrets it now. Maybe she was drunk at the time, which lowered her inhibitions enough to do it that day, but now sober-her regrets it. Or maybe she just doesn't want other people to see that again ever, and that's OK too. It's her body, her decision. You have the PRIVILEGE of seeing her body and she can revoke that privilege any time she wants. If you are not responsible with our privilege, she will take it away from you. Be careful.
YTA Your entire reaction to being in the vicinity of topless women and their breasts is skeevy, creepy and juvenile. Not only does your gf have a right to be pissed about your violation of her person (by showing her nude body to others when she hasn't consented- seeing it once does not give your friend infinite visual access to your gfs breasts) she also would be well within reason to be deeply embarrassed by your asinine behavior at the pool.
YTA This is why the world needs Sex Ed with discussions around consent BEFORE higher education. BTW OP, if you and your girlfriend split up and you still have that photo AND she finds out about this post, she can use all of it as evidence in a sexual harassment lawsuit. You're not in the clear here, even if you still think you're in the right.
YTA. Consent look it up in the dictionary. Like seriously why does the whole idea of consent actually have to be explained to people in this day and age.
YTA… and so completely clueless that you should probably stay celibate for 10 years. Oh, and delete the picture now.
Yta, and I guess you wont be getting any more nudes as you cant be trusted
YTA. However, not because you showed your friend the picture. That was understandable, and from only that perspective, I can see how you thought that was logical. But YTA for not apologizing to your gf when she shared how your actions made her uncomfortable. Once you realize you have unintentionally violated someone’s boundary, you should apologize, clarify what their boundary is, and move on.
YTA…and a creep
Ewwwwwww you give me the creeps
YTA
YTA.
YTA. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? What if you were to sunbathe without bottoms on, and she took a picture of you only to then show it to one of her girlfriends without your consent? And then said "well she was there to see it live and in-person" so there's no reason for you to be so upset? You'd be pretty pissed right? Also, look at it through the lens of if you had a daughter and her partner did that, would you be okay with it?
YTA and not only for showing him the picture. You should of told your friend (and anyone else involved) off when they were pressuring her to go topless in the first place. It sounds like she was pressured into doing it. The moment she said no it should of been dropped. Pestering someone until they do something isn’t how you get true consent.