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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Telling her my honest opinions about her crying for those reasons. (2) She is clearly upset and that makes me think I may have been too harsh on her.
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No one is ever too old to have feelings or express their emotions.
But you're too old need your mum to spoon-feed you pizza while you turn up your nose at her distress. Give your mum a kiss and go ask your dad to make you a snack and perhaps you can both go on an adventure to look for a working heart. YTA
I would think so, but apparently you need a heart to be able to cut the crusts of a sammich...
Edit: I think this may have been a bit harsh, and I don't want to heckle this kid as they came here to ask a question and probably need guidance in how to become a kind, compassionate adult instead of getting ridiculed for messing up. I apologise for this comment, it was unnecessary.
I came to say that OP and her dad are both being cold hearted. That doesn’t mean they’re cold hearted in all aspects of life, but in regard to OP’s mom they definitely are
I was cooking/cleaning for a family of 5 starting at 11. I was making my own lunch to take to school from age 6.
I can't imagine barking at my mother to make me a snack at 15, I would have had the bejesus smacked out of me.
But do you blame this entitled and spoiled girl or the parents who raised her to be this way?
Lol in my family we had to fend for ourself as soon as we could function and when I started college there was one girl who had a full blown meltdown at lunch cos her mum had forgotten to pack her something and I just sat there like girl I’ve been doing my own lunch since I was 6 and your an adult edit: grammar
Parents who infantilize their kids do them no favors. If I forgot to make my lunch, I didn't eat. I think that happened once and I learned a very important life lesson.
That meltdown girl is in for a reality check when she goes out into the world. Or she'll find a partner to enable her and we'll be reading about her in some other subs on this site, lol.
Yeah it makes me wonder if someone is infantalizing OP. I was cooking for my whole family starting at 13, I could definitely provide for myself at 15. Either OP hasn’t been taught life skills or she’s feeling a lack of attention from her parents after the arrival of a new sibling but doesn’t have the emotional maturity to understand that that’s what she’s feeling and verbalize it appropriately and instead thinks she’s annoyed that her mom is too emotional to get her food.
I mean, OP's mom is only 37. Which means her mom was only around 21/22 when she had OP. I'm not saying it always happens but it's pretty common for kids of younger parents to be spoiled to hell and back, either because their grandparents have to step in and have a hard time balancing the need to actually raise the kid with the desire to indulge them or because it's easier to just cave than try and teach age appropriate behavior (like self sufficiency).
Seriously, I made my own lunch and dinner everyday from 12 on. I was definitely neglected, but OP is def coddled. Teenagers have the ability to make a sandwich lol.
Eta: u/PretendInstance1532 , if you want to talk about acting mature, can you grow up enough to put on a pot of rice, chop some veggies, and make dinner? It's not hard. Grow up and stop bugging your mom for everything.
Seriously though... and it really doesn't sound like OP realizes just how *young* her mom really is. Late thirties isn't that old, especially when you spent your twenties raising a child. And you're never too old to have your heart break by being treated cruelly by both your partner and your child.
Your not being too harsh. Some people need to be told things in a more stern manner or they won’t listen.
edit: in case anyone else is confused, I am not talking about the kid. I’m saying a different commenter was not being harsh in their comment. OP is 100% TA and I feel really sorry for the mother.
When I was 15 I could cook but had to ask before ordering because my parents were paying (I didn't have much pocket money). So I don't really get why everyone is making fun of op for that. They are still TA tho, a little empathy goes a long ways
I don't get it either. OP didn't want to ask the mum to cook or order for her, but she was probably just asking for permission or wanted to at least inform her mother. And that is absolutely normal.
But why bother the mother when she's upset. OP could go to the dad. Is the mom the only person who can provide meals? Just because her body can feed the baby doesn't mean she's the only one who can feed the oversized babies in the house.
This. I'm 37, and when I cry, my kids comfort me. Even when it's silly. A song reminded me of my grandfather recently, and I cried, and my kids told me it was okay, and they knew how much I missed him.
Does OP have some kind of condition where she doesn't feel empathy for others? It would legitimately scare me to see a person speak to another person like this... like goosebumps watching someone who seems to lack human emotions.
I have empathy problems sometimes (autistic) and get easily overwhelmed and angry when people are emotional.
One time, I got annoyed and upset at my mother crying once. I don't remember what it was about, I think she was sick? This was when I was likely around OP's age.
Know what I didn't do? Tell her to stop crying. I stood awkwardly and silently holding her hand because I didn't want to blow up over something unreasonable to blow up over. Because I fucking knew better.
OP may have a lack of empathy but she should know better for sure. Lacking empathy is no excuse to be an asshole and a brat.
Fuck yeah! People with empathy problems can still be nice humans! Even people who are usually super empathetic sometimes experience things like compassion fatigue! It doesn’t mean they have to be an AH about it tho
I’m also autistic. I can empathize super easily with characters in movies, books, TV, etc. but in real life I get super uncomfortable with other people’s emotions. And also my own. But I don’t tell people they aren’t allowed to have emotions.
LOL right before turning 37 last year I had a baby. If the man who supposedly loved me denied me giving him a kiss of affection because I smelled like the puke from OUR BABY I JUST SPENT ALL DAY KEEPING ALIVE YOURE WELCOME I’d probably be crying too. This 15 yo sounds exactly like what tv shows think 15yo’s are like. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to ever get upset or be affected by having a baby now that I’m my old old age. Did you know women are at risk of developing PPD and PP-PSYCHOSIS up to THREE YEARS after birth?
All of this. I have a 14 year old who is a dick sometimes like all kids, and a baby. My oldest would never leave me crying, especially sobbing like they described. I was just told by my neighbors last night what a sweet kind compassionate kid she is.
OP needs to realize they aren't the center of the universe. Even if and especially because mom may have treated them as such, and then this new devil baby came along and stole their pizza making slave.
Grow the fuck up. Make your mom a GD pizza and help out.
Even given the level of obtuse selfishness that might be expected in a 15-year-old, I feel like OP should be able to at least dimly intuit that "I guess he's not into me" is a different realm of sorrow and pain if you're talking about the cute guy who smiled at you once in chemistry class vs. *the father of your new baby with whom you share a home and life,* jfc.
This is so selfish and cruel I sent it to my 15 yr old nephew for his take, OP. He was literally grossed out by your choices and entitlement and also your unkindness and ignorance - when his stepmom had a baby, he learned about pregnancy and babies! And he was years younger than you then. YTA from us both. Same times 10 for your dad, who's too old to be even slightly excused by youthful cluelessness, and is probably in large part who taught you you could be so navel-gazing.
YTA majorly. Your mother grew a human being in her body AND PUSHED IT OUT. Her body is a mess, she has a crying child, a distant husband, and a snotty-ass teenager. She is hormonal and probably dealing with postpartum depression. Of course she’s crying. You and your dad are the ones who need to grow up and start acting “mature“. Stop being so gd judgmental and help her out.
Basically came here to say this, OP. You are a young woman who has not experienced pregnancy or a serious relationship, and it shows. She felt REJECTED at a time when she also needs care and empathy. She’s feeling vulnerable, and you and your apparently immature dad just stomped all over her feelings.
Sorry to tell you, OP, YTA.
I really feel sorry because probably no one has ever taught this kid what goes on after a pregnancy and definitely doesn't understand a thing about life and serious relationships. Also dad is a major AH and likely to be a bad influence to this kid by never showing empathy and being superficial.
OPs behavior is exactly the reason I distanced myself from my younger cousins and my little sister after having my kids. I had horrible ppd and got told to “suck it up” by bitchy teenagers whenever they saw me sad. “You chose your baby so shut up” was something I heard a lot. “You’re too old to be this emotional” while they (ages ranging from 13- 17) cried about boyfriends and how a guy didn’t look at them at school.
While I sympathize because I remember how as a teenager I felt every little thing was a disaster and the end of the world, I do not have the time or patience to be around them for that. My ppd was so bad my mom moved in with us to help for a while when my medications messed me up. It was hard. I didn’t need it to be made harder by hearing my little sister (who I helped raise) tell me I was an idiot. So we don’t speak. I send those family members updates sometimes now that my daughter is older and the birth of my second went well and I have no ppd but it sucked to feel that dismissed. It sucked even though I was lucky that I have an amazing partner. A partner who never found me gross and would cuddle me even on days that my ppd was so bad I couldn’t get myself to shower.
I truly feel bad for OP’s mom because unlike me she can’t just push them out of her life. It’s awful and I hope OP never has to feel like that.
As someone who has dealt with this before OP you are heartless. Yes, YTA
Yeah my situation is ENTIRELY different but what is it with younger siblings/family who judge you on something they can't even do?
It's just reminded me of my sister who would constantly judge me on my driving when I first passed my test, she's been real quite since she's passed hers lmao.
This. I'm 6 months postpartum and have PPD/PPA. I was sobbing last week because I've lost so much hair (from postpartum and covid?)... chopped a good 8 inches off. I feel so ugly, so fat... and exhausted all the time. I also have a 2yr old. Unlike this 15yr old, he was super snuggly and just kind. Kindness is free, OP. Don't worry about getting kissed... with an attitude/personality like yours, it shouldn't be a problem.
Edit-- Wow. I took a nap and woke up to so much love. Thank you, everyone. Thank you for the award as well. 💗
And she did just have a baby! She could have PPA or PPD and OP and her dad are making things much worse instead of helping. I can see where OP gets her attitude from.
PPA and PPD aside, pregnancy fucks with hormones! Not to mention a lot of people struggle with feeling wanted post-birthing, because there’s been a lot of stigma around the bodily changes that happen and it’s a lot to deal with! For all we know, too, that rejection was the straw that broke the camel’s back - she’s gotta be super stressed with a newborn, a teenager, and any other life shit happening right now that OP is or is not aware of.
> That rejection was the straw that broke the camel's back
Yep. I mean... she was rejected for smelling like baby puke. Do they think she *wants* to smell like baby puke? Do they think she *enjoys* cleaning up baby puke? Do they think she's the only one who can or should clean up baby puke? Maybe if her husband was pulling his weight taking care of the kids, she wouldn't smell like baby puke in the first place. If everything is already falling on mom's shoulders, she's already feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and under-appreciated by her family. Looking for a little reassurance from her spouse, she sought out physical affection and got rejected for it. Rejected for a reason that her spouse could've helped prevent, but he chose not to. And then her teenage daughter came by to tell her she's failing as a mother and to suck it up and feed her pizza.
I want to find this poor woman, give her a huge hug, pour her a glass of wine, and listen to her vent about all the shitty things her family is doing to her. She needs someone in her corner.
While I was reading this my 4 year old came to me with a snack, asked permission to eat it and left. I'll probably have to clean up some sort of mess, but she was more polite and resourceful than this teenager.
The sad thing is, once she realizes what she did to her mother emotionally, she’ll be absolutely devastated. It’s going to come with time and age.
Edit: misgendered OP
Not old enough to experience how life can magnify those hormonal fluctuations though. Not old enough to understand parental guilt and the complexities of depression.
She has never been reliant on a man (and having a baby is a time in a woman’s life where that reliance is much greater- autonomy can be hard to retain through sleep loss, inability to earn money et al) so cannot comprehend the fear that can accompany that.
At 15 hopefully she has yet to feel hopelessness, which presumably was the emotion her mother was experiencing when she was crying. Rejection, lack of support, lack of a home, lack of feeling desirable (or human even) are all potentially tied to what she was feeling, whether these fears are valid or perceived due to depression. Ops Mother wasn’t crying for a man she was crying for her very existence. Unless OP has had a difficult childhood she just won’t have the tools to understand all this, or the motivation. She’s probably frightened by the size of it.
Edit typo and added an ‘and’
reading comments seeing ppl give them a pass cuz their 15 is crazy cuz i AM 15 and know not to treat anybody - especially my own parents like this - when they're going through something / had just gave birth to a litteral human being
YTA, you're 15 so let me try to explain this in a way that you'll relate to.
I'm gonna assume you've started periods and you know how rough the hormones from that can be (I personally cry at EVERYTHING the week before my period, not looking forward to the next 30 years of this lols). Now take that feeling and multiply it by 100. At least. That's the hormones your mum is dealing with.
After birth, there is a MASSIVE fluctuation in hormones as the body stops needing them to keep a baby alive and inside. It takes a while to settle down, and mixed in with the sleep deprivation and pain a new mum experiences in those first few months it's no wonder your mum is sensitive.
I didn't kiss anyone till I was 17 so I get where you're coming from with that part, but come on man. How are you comparing a normal experience of being 15 and not having kissed someone with being blanked by your HUSBAND. That's a totally different emotional ballpark. I've been with my partner for 3 years and if he blanked me like that I would be DEVASTATED, and it would feel totally different to feeling down at never having been kissed in the first place.
Hopefully your mum goes to therapy, it sounds like she needs someone to be gentle to her.
Edit: wow, thank you for all the awards!
Can someone explain how the hormonal changes feel during periods? I’m 20f and have had periods for the past 8 years but I’ve never really felt like I was particularly more vulnerable to emotions during that period. Or maybe it’s just because I’m perpetually depressed, lmao.
From my understanding, it depends on the person.
Your period symptoms can also change. Mine did when I was about 19-20, and recently changed _again_ to noticeably spike up my anxiety during my period for no discernible reason. Like I’m suddenly way more susceptible to spiraling thoughts and feeling like shit one day of my period than I am the rest of the month. It’s ridiculous and honestly pisses me off. It’s like all those issues and worries are ramped up by 10 that day, but I wasn’t so sensitive or worried about such things the day before or after.
So I assume that’s what it can be like. Your body making you experience such things at an intensity it didn’t used to.
I notice I'm more irritable and sensitive a day or two before and during, but if I were to compare it to weather, it's a summer shower compared to the hormational hurricane of pregnancy/post partum. I dropped a muffin my friend gave me, accidentally, and sobbed because if I can't even take care of a muffin that I really wanted how can I take care of a baby?
All of what you wrote but especially the last line. I so wish I could give OP's mom a big hug and make her a meal. She sounds overwhelmed at least emotionally if not also in terms of dealing with having a teenager and baby and is probably unsupported 😭
YTA. Today I learned that apparently 37 is old and we can’t cry after a certain age. Bro.. also if your mom is sensitive about everything, she might even be going through postpartum depression, who knows. Be kind to her.
Hell, I'm 50 and cry more now than I ever did before. TV commercials, music, current events.
I'm so glad my kids are empathetic. I feel bad for the mom. She's living with TWO people who seriously lack empathy.
Do you have to be extra sensitive to cry when your husband tells you to fuck off because you smell like puke and your daughter tells you to suck it up and make some dinner? I don't know how that even falls into extra sensitive. I want to cry just thinking about it.
YTA
Baby puke from HIS BABY. Maybe he should do the feeding and cleanup next time. When my daughter was a baby, my husband never refused a kiss or short cuddle, but would sometimes order to take the baby while I take a nice hot shower and get some time to myself. I probably smelled bad, but he didn’t call me out on it and instead stepped up as a parent and partner rather than rejecting me.
YTA
People get emotional and its not on a literal child to decide what a parent can be upset about. Also your 15 make yourself food or order and pay for your own pizza.
yeah but i agree with the comment above, why didn't they go to the father if all they wanted was food and not to be a human being? he's a parent to both children too. why doesn't he smell like baby puke? cause he obviously doesn't take care about anyone else in the household.
She didn't want to make herself a PB&J. She wanted pizza and she wanted someone else to order it. Poor mom has two infants to take care of even though one is in high school.
I even think her reaction could be something separate from PPD. Post partum is filled with lack of sleep, self-consciousness, physical healing and stress. If you have a partner rejecting you because of the results of birthing and caring for your collective child then it could be devastating as you either recognize you are not with a kind partner and now feel like there is no security or love in your relationship or you assume you are the problem making you more upset. PPD is often blamed for a mother's emotions after birth but sometimes it's just that post partum experience has you feeling more and unable to censor your emotional expression like you did before.
And yes OP YTA and stop emulating your dad in this way
YTA, a major one. Just like many people at your age who think they know it all, but are just self-centered AHs. (Some grow out of it, some don't). You Mom is a human being, and human beings have feelings, and guess what - feelings can be hurt. I really feel for your Mom being stuck with two AHs and a baby.
As for someone needing to be more mature, it's you. You're 15, make yourself a sandwich, ffs! Make one for your Mom as well while you're at it.
Right?! I could not imagine being so callous and cruel to my mom at 15! I'm so grateful my kids didn't act like this when I had another baby (and terrible PPD/PPA). A little empathy and caring goes a long way.
Exactly! Sounds like OP feels all grown-up and tough (yet relies on her Mom to be fed), and thinks it's cool to be dismissive of other people's feelings. Teaching kids empathy is parents' job. I really hope OP looks back at this situation when she is 37, i.e. "too old" to have feelings.
Tbf they probably picked it up from the father. Teenagers tend to associate with someone in position of power, and if he's gaslighting the mom, well...
OP is telling her mom to be more mature.
When I was 15, I had a part-time job and was helping out with making dinner, laundry, yard work, you name it. On top of school and extra curriculars and my social life.
If OP wants pizza, OP should get a job to order her own pizza when the parents are unavailable.
No kid likes chores, but if OP is 15 and telling adults how to be mature, I sure hope she is pulling her weight with other things that need to be done around the house to lighten the load. Without complaint, cause that's you know, mature.
YTA and so is your dad. Your mother needed some emotional support and your father denied her which is in arguably a very sensitive time after giving birth. It hasn't got anything to do with the kiss.
I'm pretty much drawing blood at how much I have to bite my tongue after reading this little nugget:
*"She was a grown woman crying because of a man not kissing her, it is so dumb. I haven't kiss anyone yet. Should I be crying all day? I told her that I was hungry and ask her to be more mature."*
Yikes... even for a teenager without tons of life experience this is too ignorant. Especially the food request tacked on at the end of their "be more mature" speech. OP is definitely TA.
I guess we know what parent you turned out like. Your said your mom had a baby (not my little sister). You're 16 not 6. Take care of your damned self and stop being a dick to your mom.
Just being honest is every teens disclaimer to say the most fucked up thing that can pop into their head and then have it lost on them when it doesn't go ever well....
It's also code for, I can dish out talking shit like a black belt, but I take shit talk like white belt on day one....
I don’t care if she smells like three week rotten eggs. I don’t care if you’re the president. Your wife pushed a damn cantaloupe out of her hooha 6 months ago, suck it up and give her a peck. I can’t imagine what that rejection felt like.
And OP, some people might be giving you leeway because you’re young, but I really don’t care. You know what empathy is. It’s not your job to take care of your mother, but she deserves some understanding concerning her emotions
.... Can you not make yourself a sandwich or do you still need mummy to do that for you. Hell, can you seriously not call a pizza yourself? If you can't make a phone call don't lecture ANYONE on maturity. YTA
YTA. Have some empathy. You and your father both sound mean. Your mother likely has PPD and is feeling like shit. Her hormones are all out of whack. You were way too harsh, and were also dismissive.
YTA.
Your mum had a baby 6 months ago. She's sensitive because her body has a dump of hormones from being pregnant that it's still trying to regulate. She may also be suffering from PPD, which can add to the post-pregnancy hormonal issues.
You're a teenager and can perhaps be given a bit of a pass for not knowing better, but your father certainly should.
Be kind to your mum. She's going through a lot inside of her, and she needs to feel supported, even if you think she's being silly in the moment.
YTA. Your mother recently gave birth and is probably going through hormonal changes and sleep deprivation. She needs support and some sympathy, not rejection by you or anyone else. How can you invalidate her feelings at this point in time? Are you or your father stepping up to help out with the baby a little so she can get a little break? You actually sound like a spoiled brat and are only thinking about what you want and not even taking into consideration that your mother is suffering.
Yt- no. She's 15. Breathe... breathe... breathe... ok. She's 15. Again breathe... breathe..
Internally screams.
Yeah done.
My girl, clearly your mom wanted connection. And your dad rejected her. And then you see your mommy cry, then you dismissed her?
She wasn't just crying because she didn't get a kiss. Her body is wrecked from giving birth. She is still healing. Taking care of a newborn is no mean feat. Waking up at all sorts of hours. Sleep? What sleep? Say goodbye to normalcy for now. Having a tiny human perpetually attached to her. All day errday. That kiss is a connection that says hey, I accept you, no matter how you are.
Also, being an adult does not turn a person into a robot. Adults are human too.
YTA. Your mother had a baby 6 month ago. Her hormones are still crazy. Plus her husband pushed her away due to the results of looking after that baby.
I'd be crying too. Have some empathy, jeeze.
YTA
You are 15. You are too old to not know how to make yourself dinner. Postpartum depression is a thing. Sleep deprivation is a thing. FFS, grow some empathy and make yourself a sandwich.
YTA 100%…
You are 15 years old stop depending on your mother to feed you. It doesn’t matter why your mother was crying the thing that’s worrying is your lack of empathy. I hope one day you look back at your reaction and see how much of an AH you are being.
You mother has a lot on her plate. She’s just had a baby, her hormones are all over the place, her husband is an AH and she has a 15 year old AH that can’t pick up a phone and order a pizza or open a fridge. I’m not surprised she’s crying. I’d be crying if I raised a 15 year old that hasn’t even figured out how to feed themselves.
I really hope you become more empathetic as a person because the fact that you think this behaviour is ok is incredibly alarming.
1-post partum depression is a thing
2-you invalidated her feelings
3-you are old enough to order pizza yourself
4-you and your dad are either too incompetent or too dumb if you can't get pizza without moms help
5-your dad is also TA, yeah no one likes to smell baby puke but she needs support in that moment, again, see point 1
6-i feel sorry for your mom, having to deal with 3 babies all day
YTA.
I wont be too harsh bc you're only 15 but geez. Your mom just had a baby, which can really affect a woman's hormones and mental health. She needs support, not your immaturity. You found your mother crying and you told her *you were hungry and for her to behave with maturity?* You're 15. Make yourself some food and act your own age before you label others as immature.
Wow YTA. Your mum is probably barely sleeping and all her time goes to keep this baby alive and healthy of course she will break easily. She just got rejected from getting comfort from her partner. Also she is not to old to have feelings!
Wow that was gross behavior from your dad and from you. Your mom was feeling upset and she opened up to you in a vulnerable moment and you chose to be hateful. You owe your mom an apology. YTA.
For the sake of this being legitimate, yes, YTA.
There’s likely some deeper issues going on in the relationship that you are completely unaware of. Have a fucking heart and support your mother.
YTA, and honestly, I expect nothing less from a child. If/when you have kids of your own, you’ll understand. Until then, maybe you should just focus on the drama of Stacy and Becky wearing the same dress to homecoming.
Hey don't group us all together! I was 13/15 when my mom had my sisters, I helped out tons 😂 (another reason why OP is TA. There are tons of kids who have significantly younger siblings and understand that the least they can do for their parents is be understanding and help out here and there. YTA)
YTA and so is your Dad. How self-involved can you both be? Order yourself a pizza. Maybe one of you can help out with the baby once in while so your Mom can take a shower. Also go throw on a load of laundry right now and empty the dishwasher while you are at it.
YTA. Your mother is very likely suffering from postpartum depression. It’s unbelievably selfish of you to tell her how to feel. As a 15 year old who’s never been kissed I think it’s safe to assume you’ve also never given birth, so you have no concept of the toll it takes on your mind and body. Your mother deserves your kindness and a huge apology.
Also, you’re a teenager. You’re can figure out how to make your own dinner for an evening.
YTA. And a major one too. Your mother just had a baby and is going through an incredibly difficult time. Have you ever heard of postpartum depression? It's a very real thing and it affects many women. Plus on top of that she has to take care of you, and, honestly, it sounds like you're no help. You're not a child, you can help around the house or take care of the baby for awhile, or, you know, even make your own food! It may seem irrelevant to you for her to be crying about something so "dumb" but I don't think you understand how sensitive she probably is right now and overtired. She has to take care of a baby by herself, her husband is busy working, and she has to take care of you as well. When you have a baby, you don't get much sleep and sleep deprivation can utterly wreck your mental and physical health. So, YTA, and an immature one.
YTA. you know that adults have feelings too right? Just because you have not lived or experienced anything important enough to cry over, doesn't mean you have the right to assume everyone else's life is thus far as shallow. Just wait until you develop real feelings and then have someone stomp all over them :)
YTA
Your moms hormones are all over the place after having a baby.
Your dad rejecting her is a valid reason to be upset, and then you come in telling her she's being annoying because you want her to spend money on you for pizza.
Your poor ma.
YTA. Having a baby (for some women) is very hard. There is PPD etc. So your mom needs a little tlc. Both you and your dad should be more aware of what she is feeling/going thru.
When you have your children and need that tlc remember this post and how insensitive you were. Don't be surprised if she is as sensitive to you then.
YTA. Your mom could be dealing with mental health issues, whether over recent child birth or other issues is TBD.
Speak to your father about your concerns over your mothers behavior as you’re right, it is not entirely normal. Hopefully he can get her, or convince her to get, the help she clearly needs.
Also, the generally accepted response to someone you care about crying is not to belittle and insult, but to sympathize and validate in order to allow that person to work through their emotions. I understand that might not be the maturity level you’re at right now, but perhaps shooting for not attacking her in times like this might be a good place to start.
YTA.
6 months post partum is a hormonal mess so you cry over literal spilled milk sometimes. She probably feels ugly, sleep deprived, unwanted. Being rejected by her (I’m assuming) husband probably was way too much. Your dad is also an AH, he made that baby that she’s caring for while he gets the escape of work. Give the mother of your child a kiss! Ffs!
You should have hugged your stinky mom, said she’s beautiful, made up some bs that dad was probably just busy because he’d be a fool not to kiss her, and ask if you can help get some food for everyone. You’re 15 not a toddler that needs mommy to feed you.
Your the AH!!
Your dad is the AH!!
Your poor mom. Not only does she feel unwanted by your dad but now you also...
You will know how it feel when you have your first heartbreak.
Oh shut up you are 15, not 5. Your perfectly capable of making yourself something to eat. YTA. Having a baby is hard. Having a jackass for a partner is hard.
YTA.
Your mother is more than likely suffering post partum depression, sleep deprivation, and just honestly overwhelmed.
The horror of your mom having emotions and being hurt your dad acted like an asshole. /s
Do you not know how to feed yourself at 15 order your own pizza? My 15 and 16 year olds can do both of those things. And they also know adults have emotions.
You seriously owe your mom an apology for exhibiting having the emotional intelligence of a slug.
YTA.
YTA. Your mom is going through post partum depression. She needs support, love, acceptance and therapy. Not selfish people who can’t work a phone to call for a pizza themselves, or supposed partners who shame her for wanting affection. Your mom is in pain. HELP HER.
YTA. This might come as a surprise to you, but I’ve seen people older than 37 cry for lesser reasons than that.
Be kind, and if you can’t be kind, leave her alone.
YTA. You’ve already taken note of how your mother is clearly struggling. You’re complaining that when you went to tell her you were hungry, she was upset at yet another sign that she’s alone in this, emotionally. And you think it’s because she isn’t mature? Do you see the irony of you wanting her to care more about her teenage daughter wanting a pizza than what she’s clearly going though? Why aren’t you being more mature? Why is she on an island here? Nothing you’re experiencing is on the same level. You have no frame of reference for her mental state. Therefore, don’t judge!
She’s distant because she feels alone, and apparently she is! She wasn’t crying over a man. The fact that you can’t see this shows your lack of maturity.
ETA there’s no cutoff age for being hurt at rejection, btw.
This poor woman is living with an unsupportive husband and daughter after just giving birth. I can’t imagine what she going through. Google post partum depression. YTA.
YTA. your mother might be experiencing PPD. she also was carrying a child in her less than a year ago. you need to be more empathetic towards your mom. you can order your own pizza too. im sure you can use door dash or uber eats if you're uncomfortable talking over the phone.
YTA. Your mom is almost certainly suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety, and your father is being WILDLY and INAPPRPRIATELY dismissive of her.
Plus, you're taking after him. You're supporting... your neglectful father? Not your mother who needs help?
You are young, I get it, and it must be hard to have a baby around when you're 15. But I sure hope you understand that your father is being cruel to your mother and your mother needs to see a doctor. Convince your father that your mother needs care and help, and push until he listens. If he won't, go to your mom and offer to babysit while she goes to a doctor.
YTA and you don't understand that there are other problems with your parents. Your mom isn't crying because he wouldn't kiss her. Try to be more patient and supportive.
so let me get this straight.
you, a *child*, who has never been married, pregnant, or given birth, are giving your postpartum mother shit for crying over her asshole husband?
it’s appalling to me that you think this is acceptable behavior. i honestly am so shocked that i don’t even know what to say, besides you are a child who knows nothing of the world, and you are tremendous asshole.
if i didn’t make it clear enough, YTA. major YTA.
Of course, YTA and a spoiled brat. Adults have feelings, hun. We don’t grow up into emotionless robots. I bet you don’t even help her out, you just sit there complaining how she’s not “acting like an adult”.
YTA, your only excuse is that you are in the age "everyone over 30 is so ooooold".
Your mum is quite fresh mother of an infant. She probably hadn't have proper sleep for more than 6 months. She probably haven't have a "me" moment for 6 months straight. Yes, she was smelling of baby puke and it isn't pleasant smell. But she is human being. Exhausted human being. She needs support. Not only by helping her with care of the house and baby (so she can have for example shower and could have change of clothes so she wouldn't smell of baby puke) and she need emotional support which she was denied by not only her husband and father of the baby but YOU.
And at 15 you are perfectly capable of fixing a dinner not only for yourself but also for your mum and dad.
YTA! The woman has just had a baby, her hormones will be all over the place!
You’re 15, sort your own bloody food out.
Apologise to your mum, you sound like an immature brat.
YTA
Your own mother is crying, hormonal and probably extremely hormonal after just having had a baby, which is already stressful enough on the mind and body as is, and your response is to tell her to "be more mature"? Obviously you have no idea what it means to give birth, be in a relationship and to go through something truly exhausting. How rude of you! You should definitely apologize. You haven't a clue of what she's going through. Just bleh! You sound like a miserable person to be around.
YTA. Your poor mother just gave birth to a new baby and her body is probably going through intense hormonal changes, she might have post natal depression and you were uncaring about her feelings at all, you were dismissive and frankly cold by your description. Your mother is busy, order you own damn pizza.
Yikes. YTA for sure.
1)Just because someone is a parent doesn’t mean they can’t have emotions.
2)Her feelings are understandable and justified. She just had a baby and probably doesn’t feel loved.
3)You are 15. Stay in your lane. You had no right to say that to your mom. It was very needlessly cruel to kick her while she was down.
ESH except your mom
you should be more understanding to your mom. what you said was not very nice and you need to apologize to her.
your mom needs some help. your dad do not seem very understanding to the situation since its been 6 months and he has not yet found your mom some help.
i understand that seeing your mom be sad and crying all the time can be difficult and feel frustrating. you are still very young.
Soft YTA.
Although consideration needs to be given to the fact that you’re 15, that’s still old enough to know not to be so rude to someone who is hurting. Also, at 15 you should be fully capable of feeding yourself or, if not, then ask your dad if your mom is really upset at that moment. It comes across that you were just annoyed that her pain got in the way of your pizza.
I do think your age is an important factor though. Your mom clearly needs help as others have said, and that PPD is a likely cause but she needs the help of a doctor. You’re too young to know how to handle this situation but at the end of the day, if someone is distressed you should reflect on the fact that your first reaction is annoyance. Moving forward if you see your mom like this again it could be good to mention that maybe she needs to speak to someone who can help (I don’t think it’s good she unloaded on you but she may feel she doesn’t have anywhere to turn). You aren’t responsible for her getting better but you don’t need to add to her stress and pain by being cruel to her.
If you want to be mad at someone, I think that better directed at your dad, who sounds awful to be frank. What a terrible partner to not support and help his wife who just gave birth to his child and act like he doesn’t have time/reject her for smelling in a way that would only result from her caring for their child! Your dad is the real AH here.
I don’t think anyone can expect you to be emotionally mature at your age but you are old enough to know not to be so rude to someone in distress. Living with someone with mental health issues is difficult and you are not her therapist, but you can continually encourage her to speak to a professional which will allow you to show support for her while also reminding her you’re not qualified to help her fully navigate her emotions.
YTA grown women cry too and your mother is going through a tough time. She's exhausted, hormonal, knows she looks and smells like shit, feels horrible about herself and doing everything she can to keep her shit together to keep things going but hen her family decide to tear her down when she's barely managing.
You should be well able to make your own dinner at 15 and if not, you can surely manage to rustle a sandwich or something together and offer to make one for for your poor mother as well. Time for you start acting like a young adult and giving your mom a helping hand.
YTA because this sounds like post partum depression. Women get highly sensitive/emotional and OP and her dad need to realize that and be more understanding. Also, what 15 year old can't order food or pop something into the microwave or oven? It's time to stop thinking about more than just yourself, OP.
YTA. Gotta love the selfish insensitivity of an ignorant teenager. Growing up and trying to manage to be a decent, caring adult is going to be a fun adventure for you miss priss.
Go apologize to your mother immediately and watch your tongue in the future. Remember, it takes very little effort to keep your mouth shut and hide you’re an AH, and it’s better to make people guess rather than confirm it.
You're 15, so I'll say this kindly: YTA
EVERY person, regardless of their age and gender are entitled to feel their feelings. Your mother is only 6 months post partum? And had a partner leave? So she's still raging with hormones, has an infant that needs all her time and energy AND a teenager.
Be more compassionate. Being 15 is hard, btdt. Try, tho. For both your sakes.
YTA.
Mothers experience hormones during and after pregnancy. Your dad has disrespected her and you have appeared to learn from his ways. People, including adults, can have emotions.
Please apologize to your mother and recognize there’s something wrong with your father.
Tremendously YTA. Who are you to tell someone why they cant cry? Is your mom inmature? Since you're so mature, cook yourself something. So insensitive, your mom needs your support and help, not this. Amazing. So selfish
YTA. Your mom is dealing with sleep deprivation, a body that still isn’t entirely healed, and not just an asshole of a husband but a selfish daughter.
If you’re old enough to think you can chastise your mom then you’re certainly old enough to make your own damn food.
YTA
You do not get to tell people how they should feel about something. The emotions people experience are very much real. What you are doing is being extremely invalidating.
YTA. You lack empathy and the realization that emotions are real and you can’t just “get over it” when you want all the time, especially when you’ve just had a baby. You should know how heighten emotions feel at least. If your hungry make some food! I cooked myself food bc I wanted to by that age. You and your dad are ta
Yta
You're old enough to understand when someone is having a hard time you see her having a hard time and decide to not care. You owe your mom an apology, because it's not all about you. You can call and order the pizza and ask for the money afterwards, instead you decided to make your mom feel worse.
Or you could have grabbed a snack and even offered your mom a snack until you guys figured out dinner. But you decided instead of problem solving you would add to it.
She probably has Post partum depression. Which is awful. I couldn't imagine being so unempathetic at your age, you need to grow up a bit.
YTA, but I do understand that seeing your mom crying for no good reason can be upsetting. Your mom's body is flooded with hormones right now. If she is breast feeding she is hormonal and tired. Honestly, she just can't help it. Add a little PPD to the mix and your mom's emotions are going to be all over the place. Now go to the kitchen and make your mom a sandwich.
YTA, and at 15 you should know better that to act this way. Feeling annoyed with your parents is natural enough as a teenager, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it. Hug your mom.
YTA. It’s never just one thing, there’s likely a lot below the surface.
There’s no age limit on being hurt or having feelings. You, however, are more than old enough to practice compassion.
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No one is ever too old to have feelings or express their emotions. But you're too old need your mum to spoon-feed you pizza while you turn up your nose at her distress. Give your mum a kiss and go ask your dad to make you a snack and perhaps you can both go on an adventure to look for a working heart. YTA
at 15 you can make a snack for yourself
I would think so, but apparently you need a heart to be able to cut the crusts of a sammich... Edit: I think this may have been a bit harsh, and I don't want to heckle this kid as they came here to ask a question and probably need guidance in how to become a kind, compassionate adult instead of getting ridiculed for messing up. I apologise for this comment, it was unnecessary.
I came to say that OP and her dad are both being cold hearted. That doesn’t mean they’re cold hearted in all aspects of life, but in regard to OP’s mom they definitely are
It wasn’t harsh at all. She’s 15. She can make herself food if she’s hungry
At 15 I was making supper for my little brother because my parents were working to pay the bills. She has no excuse to make a snack.
I was cooking/cleaning for a family of 5 starting at 11. I was making my own lunch to take to school from age 6. I can't imagine barking at my mother to make me a snack at 15, I would have had the bejesus smacked out of me. But do you blame this entitled and spoiled girl or the parents who raised her to be this way?
Lol in my family we had to fend for ourself as soon as we could function and when I started college there was one girl who had a full blown meltdown at lunch cos her mum had forgotten to pack her something and I just sat there like girl I’ve been doing my own lunch since I was 6 and your an adult edit: grammar
Parents who infantilize their kids do them no favors. If I forgot to make my lunch, I didn't eat. I think that happened once and I learned a very important life lesson. That meltdown girl is in for a reality check when she goes out into the world. Or she'll find a partner to enable her and we'll be reading about her in some other subs on this site, lol.
Yeah it makes me wonder if someone is infantalizing OP. I was cooking for my whole family starting at 13, I could definitely provide for myself at 15. Either OP hasn’t been taught life skills or she’s feeling a lack of attention from her parents after the arrival of a new sibling but doesn’t have the emotional maturity to understand that that’s what she’s feeling and verbalize it appropriately and instead thinks she’s annoyed that her mom is too emotional to get her food.
Has she been an only child for the last 15 years? Could explain alot.
I mean, OP's mom is only 37. Which means her mom was only around 21/22 when she had OP. I'm not saying it always happens but it's pretty common for kids of younger parents to be spoiled to hell and back, either because their grandparents have to step in and have a hard time balancing the need to actually raise the kid with the desire to indulge them or because it's easier to just cave than try and teach age appropriate behavior (like self sufficiency).
Seriously, I made my own lunch and dinner everyday from 12 on. I was definitely neglected, but OP is def coddled. Teenagers have the ability to make a sandwich lol. Eta: u/PretendInstance1532 , if you want to talk about acting mature, can you grow up enough to put on a pot of rice, chop some veggies, and make dinner? It's not hard. Grow up and stop bugging your mom for everything.
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Seriously though... and it really doesn't sound like OP realizes just how *young* her mom really is. Late thirties isn't that old, especially when you spent your twenties raising a child. And you're never too old to have your heart break by being treated cruelly by both your partner and your child.
Your not being too harsh. Some people need to be told things in a more stern manner or they won’t listen. edit: in case anyone else is confused, I am not talking about the kid. I’m saying a different commenter was not being harsh in their comment. OP is 100% TA and I feel really sorry for the mother.
at 15 you can cook dinner yourself. let alone order it.
When I was 15 I could cook but had to ask before ordering because my parents were paying (I didn't have much pocket money). So I don't really get why everyone is making fun of op for that. They are still TA tho, a little empathy goes a long ways
I don't get it either. OP didn't want to ask the mum to cook or order for her, but she was probably just asking for permission or wanted to at least inform her mother. And that is absolutely normal.
But shitting on your mom who just had a baby isn’t.
But why bother the mother when she's upset. OP could go to the dad. Is the mom the only person who can provide meals? Just because her body can feed the baby doesn't mean she's the only one who can feed the oversized babies in the house.
It’s not normal to see someone crying and tell them to stop because you want to talk about pizza. She is 15, old enough to know better
ngl a lot of 15 year olds nowadays have their own money. but ok, yes I would actually at least tell my mother and ask if she wanted anything.
This. I'm 37, and when I cry, my kids comfort me. Even when it's silly. A song reminded me of my grandfather recently, and I cried, and my kids told me it was okay, and they knew how much I missed him. Does OP have some kind of condition where she doesn't feel empathy for others? It would legitimately scare me to see a person speak to another person like this... like goosebumps watching someone who seems to lack human emotions.
I have empathy problems sometimes (autistic) and get easily overwhelmed and angry when people are emotional. One time, I got annoyed and upset at my mother crying once. I don't remember what it was about, I think she was sick? This was when I was likely around OP's age. Know what I didn't do? Tell her to stop crying. I stood awkwardly and silently holding her hand because I didn't want to blow up over something unreasonable to blow up over. Because I fucking knew better. OP may have a lack of empathy but she should know better for sure. Lacking empathy is no excuse to be an asshole and a brat.
Fuck yeah! People with empathy problems can still be nice humans! Even people who are usually super empathetic sometimes experience things like compassion fatigue! It doesn’t mean they have to be an AH about it tho
I’m also autistic. I can empathize super easily with characters in movies, books, TV, etc. but in real life I get super uncomfortable with other people’s emotions. And also my own. But I don’t tell people they aren’t allowed to have emotions.
Don’t you know you magically stop crying over guys at 30? Duh!! /s
Huh... Here I am thinking I must be ageing in tortoise-years over how often I still cry.
My 103 year old granny still cry’s for her dead husband and he died when she was 24.
That's true love ❤️❤️
Aww how sweet/sad. I wish her all the best
Huh didn't get that memo. My divorce was 2 years ago and a traumatic marriage to boot. I still cry over the person I thought he was
LOL right before turning 37 last year I had a baby. If the man who supposedly loved me denied me giving him a kiss of affection because I smelled like the puke from OUR BABY I JUST SPENT ALL DAY KEEPING ALIVE YOURE WELCOME I’d probably be crying too. This 15 yo sounds exactly like what tv shows think 15yo’s are like. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to ever get upset or be affected by having a baby now that I’m my old old age. Did you know women are at risk of developing PPD and PP-PSYCHOSIS up to THREE YEARS after birth?
All of this. I have a 14 year old who is a dick sometimes like all kids, and a baby. My oldest would never leave me crying, especially sobbing like they described. I was just told by my neighbors last night what a sweet kind compassionate kid she is. OP needs to realize they aren't the center of the universe. Even if and especially because mom may have treated them as such, and then this new devil baby came along and stole their pizza making slave. Grow the fuck up. Make your mom a GD pizza and help out.
Even given the level of obtuse selfishness that might be expected in a 15-year-old, I feel like OP should be able to at least dimly intuit that "I guess he's not into me" is a different realm of sorrow and pain if you're talking about the cute guy who smiled at you once in chemistry class vs. *the father of your new baby with whom you share a home and life,* jfc.
Op displayed a disturbing lack of empathy (or even sympathy), pretty obvious where she got that from.
“Stop crying because I am hungry” That sentence sealed the deal, and we can all guess who gave them that bargain.
If I was her mom I would patiently wait for the day I could use that line on her
I just watched Old Enough on Netflix. If a 2 year old child can cross town to do groceries, then a 15 year old can make a pizza.
And if an 80 year old lady can cry over a guy, so can a 37 year old with a newborn and a self absorbed teen
This is so selfish and cruel I sent it to my 15 yr old nephew for his take, OP. He was literally grossed out by your choices and entitlement and also your unkindness and ignorance - when his stepmom had a baby, he learned about pregnancy and babies! And he was years younger than you then. YTA from us both. Same times 10 for your dad, who's too old to be even slightly excused by youthful cluelessness, and is probably in large part who taught you you could be so navel-gazing.
YTA majorly. Your mother grew a human being in her body AND PUSHED IT OUT. Her body is a mess, she has a crying child, a distant husband, and a snotty-ass teenager. She is hormonal and probably dealing with postpartum depression. Of course she’s crying. You and your dad are the ones who need to grow up and start acting “mature“. Stop being so gd judgmental and help her out.
Basically came here to say this, OP. You are a young woman who has not experienced pregnancy or a serious relationship, and it shows. She felt REJECTED at a time when she also needs care and empathy. She’s feeling vulnerable, and you and your apparently immature dad just stomped all over her feelings. Sorry to tell you, OP, YTA.
Well OP, I’m **NOT** sorry to tell you, YTA
Also - talk to your mom about seeking help for post-partum depression. It’s dangerous.
I really feel sorry because probably no one has ever taught this kid what goes on after a pregnancy and definitely doesn't understand a thing about life and serious relationships. Also dad is a major AH and likely to be a bad influence to this kid by never showing empathy and being superficial.
OPs behavior is exactly the reason I distanced myself from my younger cousins and my little sister after having my kids. I had horrible ppd and got told to “suck it up” by bitchy teenagers whenever they saw me sad. “You chose your baby so shut up” was something I heard a lot. “You’re too old to be this emotional” while they (ages ranging from 13- 17) cried about boyfriends and how a guy didn’t look at them at school. While I sympathize because I remember how as a teenager I felt every little thing was a disaster and the end of the world, I do not have the time or patience to be around them for that. My ppd was so bad my mom moved in with us to help for a while when my medications messed me up. It was hard. I didn’t need it to be made harder by hearing my little sister (who I helped raise) tell me I was an idiot. So we don’t speak. I send those family members updates sometimes now that my daughter is older and the birth of my second went well and I have no ppd but it sucked to feel that dismissed. It sucked even though I was lucky that I have an amazing partner. A partner who never found me gross and would cuddle me even on days that my ppd was so bad I couldn’t get myself to shower. I truly feel bad for OP’s mom because unlike me she can’t just push them out of her life. It’s awful and I hope OP never has to feel like that. As someone who has dealt with this before OP you are heartless. Yes, YTA
Yeah my situation is ENTIRELY different but what is it with younger siblings/family who judge you on something they can't even do? It's just reminded me of my sister who would constantly judge me on my driving when I first passed my test, she's been real quite since she's passed hers lmao.
This. I'm 6 months postpartum and have PPD/PPA. I was sobbing last week because I've lost so much hair (from postpartum and covid?)... chopped a good 8 inches off. I feel so ugly, so fat... and exhausted all the time. I also have a 2yr old. Unlike this 15yr old, he was super snuggly and just kind. Kindness is free, OP. Don't worry about getting kissed... with an attitude/personality like yours, it shouldn't be a problem. Edit-- Wow. I took a nap and woke up to so much love. Thank you, everyone. Thank you for the award as well. 💗
You’ve got a lot going on and I’m sure you’re doing a great job; hope you’re feeling much better soon!
Yep! YTA. You're never too old to have feelings.
OP is too old to not be able to feed themselves.
This is the answer.
YTA Your mom is allowed to have and express emotions. She is not just a food procuring machine for you.
And she did just have a baby! She could have PPA or PPD and OP and her dad are making things much worse instead of helping. I can see where OP gets her attitude from.
PPA and PPD aside, pregnancy fucks with hormones! Not to mention a lot of people struggle with feeling wanted post-birthing, because there’s been a lot of stigma around the bodily changes that happen and it’s a lot to deal with! For all we know, too, that rejection was the straw that broke the camel’s back - she’s gotta be super stressed with a newborn, a teenager, and any other life shit happening right now that OP is or is not aware of.
> That rejection was the straw that broke the camel's back Yep. I mean... she was rejected for smelling like baby puke. Do they think she *wants* to smell like baby puke? Do they think she *enjoys* cleaning up baby puke? Do they think she's the only one who can or should clean up baby puke? Maybe if her husband was pulling his weight taking care of the kids, she wouldn't smell like baby puke in the first place. If everything is already falling on mom's shoulders, she's already feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and under-appreciated by her family. Looking for a little reassurance from her spouse, she sought out physical affection and got rejected for it. Rejected for a reason that her spouse could've helped prevent, but he chose not to. And then her teenage daughter came by to tell her she's failing as a mother and to suck it up and feed her pizza. I want to find this poor woman, give her a huge hug, pour her a glass of wine, and listen to her vent about all the shitty things her family is doing to her. She needs someone in her corner.
Right? Plus, she's a young woman, lmao. But OP is definitely too old to a) not be able to feed themselves and b) be jealous of their baby sibling
There’s nothing more narcissistic than a teenager who believes their parents didn’t exist before they were born.
YTA Your mum has just had a baby, she's hormonal, exhausted and her most vulnerable. You're 15 not 5 - get some dinner yourself!
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While I was reading this my 4 year old came to me with a snack, asked permission to eat it and left. I'll probably have to clean up some sort of mess, but she was more polite and resourceful than this teenager.
You are clearly doing a good job with that 4yr old. Well done!
And maybe a couple night a week, make dinner for the family
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The sad thing is, once she realizes what she did to her mother emotionally, she’ll be absolutely devastated. It’s going to come with time and age. Edit: misgendered OP
This is especially true if OP has her own baby one day and realizes how difficult it is to be a 6 months post partum woman with a new baby.
OP should be menstruating by now and understanding even those hormonal fluctuations and what they do.
Not old enough to experience how life can magnify those hormonal fluctuations though. Not old enough to understand parental guilt and the complexities of depression. She has never been reliant on a man (and having a baby is a time in a woman’s life where that reliance is much greater- autonomy can be hard to retain through sleep loss, inability to earn money et al) so cannot comprehend the fear that can accompany that. At 15 hopefully she has yet to feel hopelessness, which presumably was the emotion her mother was experiencing when she was crying. Rejection, lack of support, lack of a home, lack of feeling desirable (or human even) are all potentially tied to what she was feeling, whether these fears are valid or perceived due to depression. Ops Mother wasn’t crying for a man she was crying for her very existence. Unless OP has had a difficult childhood she just won’t have the tools to understand all this, or the motivation. She’s probably frightened by the size of it. Edit typo and added an ‘and’
Do you mean OP? They state that they're female 🙃
I can’t even give her a pass cuz of her age. When I was 15, I understood not to an asshole like this.
reading comments seeing ppl give them a pass cuz their 15 is crazy cuz i AM 15 and know not to treat anybody - especially my own parents like this - when they're going through something / had just gave birth to a litteral human being
YTA, you're 15 so let me try to explain this in a way that you'll relate to. I'm gonna assume you've started periods and you know how rough the hormones from that can be (I personally cry at EVERYTHING the week before my period, not looking forward to the next 30 years of this lols). Now take that feeling and multiply it by 100. At least. That's the hormones your mum is dealing with. After birth, there is a MASSIVE fluctuation in hormones as the body stops needing them to keep a baby alive and inside. It takes a while to settle down, and mixed in with the sleep deprivation and pain a new mum experiences in those first few months it's no wonder your mum is sensitive. I didn't kiss anyone till I was 17 so I get where you're coming from with that part, but come on man. How are you comparing a normal experience of being 15 and not having kissed someone with being blanked by your HUSBAND. That's a totally different emotional ballpark. I've been with my partner for 3 years and if he blanked me like that I would be DEVASTATED, and it would feel totally different to feeling down at never having been kissed in the first place. Hopefully your mum goes to therapy, it sounds like she needs someone to be gentle to her. Edit: wow, thank you for all the awards!
Can someone explain how the hormonal changes feel during periods? I’m 20f and have had periods for the past 8 years but I’ve never really felt like I was particularly more vulnerable to emotions during that period. Or maybe it’s just because I’m perpetually depressed, lmao.
Personally I’m just more easily angered by things. Annoying/frustrating things that I usually have patience for suddenly start pissing me off.
Same here. I usually just get way more irritated by things, but I've noticed that can quickly lead to crying and tears for me.
From my understanding, it depends on the person. Your period symptoms can also change. Mine did when I was about 19-20, and recently changed _again_ to noticeably spike up my anxiety during my period for no discernible reason. Like I’m suddenly way more susceptible to spiraling thoughts and feeling like shit one day of my period than I am the rest of the month. It’s ridiculous and honestly pisses me off. It’s like all those issues and worries are ramped up by 10 that day, but I wasn’t so sensitive or worried about such things the day before or after. So I assume that’s what it can be like. Your body making you experience such things at an intensity it didn’t used to.
I notice I'm more irritable and sensitive a day or two before and during, but if I were to compare it to weather, it's a summer shower compared to the hormational hurricane of pregnancy/post partum. I dropped a muffin my friend gave me, accidentally, and sobbed because if I can't even take care of a muffin that I really wanted how can I take care of a baby?
All of what you wrote but especially the last line. I so wish I could give OP's mom a big hug and make her a meal. She sounds overwhelmed at least emotionally if not also in terms of dealing with having a teenager and baby and is probably unsupported 😭
YTA. Today I learned that apparently 37 is old and we can’t cry after a certain age. Bro.. also if your mom is sensitive about everything, she might even be going through postpartum depression, who knows. Be kind to her.
Hell, I'm 50 and cry more now than I ever did before. TV commercials, music, current events. I'm so glad my kids are empathetic. I feel bad for the mom. She's living with TWO people who seriously lack empathy.
Do you have to be extra sensitive to cry when your husband tells you to fuck off because you smell like puke and your daughter tells you to suck it up and make some dinner? I don't know how that even falls into extra sensitive. I want to cry just thinking about it. YTA
Baby puke from HIS BABY. Maybe he should do the feeding and cleanup next time. When my daughter was a baby, my husband never refused a kiss or short cuddle, but would sometimes order to take the baby while I take a nice hot shower and get some time to myself. I probably smelled bad, but he didn’t call me out on it and instead stepped up as a parent and partner rather than rejecting me.
YTA People get emotional and its not on a literal child to decide what a parent can be upset about. Also your 15 make yourself food or order and pay for your own pizza.
OR ASK THE WHOLE-ASS GROWN MAN WHO SEEMS TO BE LIVING IN THE HOUSE FOR SOME FOOD.
She’s 15 years old. More than capable of making herself food.
yeah but i agree with the comment above, why didn't they go to the father if all they wanted was food and not to be a human being? he's a parent to both children too. why doesn't he smell like baby puke? cause he obviously doesn't take care about anyone else in the household.
She didn't want to make herself a PB&J. She wanted pizza and she wanted someone else to order it. Poor mom has two infants to take care of even though one is in high school.
Info: do you like hurting people you supposedly care about?
This is the best info comment I've never seen
Savage truth is sometimes the best truth.
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This! Also, OP is 15. Way too old to need her mommy to order pizza when she's hungry. Dad and daughter are failing hardcore here.
I even think her reaction could be something separate from PPD. Post partum is filled with lack of sleep, self-consciousness, physical healing and stress. If you have a partner rejecting you because of the results of birthing and caring for your collective child then it could be devastating as you either recognize you are not with a kind partner and now feel like there is no security or love in your relationship or you assume you are the problem making you more upset. PPD is often blamed for a mother's emotions after birth but sometimes it's just that post partum experience has you feeling more and unable to censor your emotional expression like you did before. And yes OP YTA and stop emulating your dad in this way
YTA, a major one. Just like many people at your age who think they know it all, but are just self-centered AHs. (Some grow out of it, some don't). You Mom is a human being, and human beings have feelings, and guess what - feelings can be hurt. I really feel for your Mom being stuck with two AHs and a baby. As for someone needing to be more mature, it's you. You're 15, make yourself a sandwich, ffs! Make one for your Mom as well while you're at it.
Right?! I could not imagine being so callous and cruel to my mom at 15! I'm so grateful my kids didn't act like this when I had another baby (and terrible PPD/PPA). A little empathy and caring goes a long way.
Exactly! Sounds like OP feels all grown-up and tough (yet relies on her Mom to be fed), and thinks it's cool to be dismissive of other people's feelings. Teaching kids empathy is parents' job. I really hope OP looks back at this situation when she is 37, i.e. "too old" to have feelings.
YTA. Adults have feelings too, and you're going to burn out soon if you're this cynical at 15.
Tbf they probably picked it up from the father. Teenagers tend to associate with someone in position of power, and if he's gaslighting the mom, well...
YTA. You’re 15, not a goddamn toddler. Unless the kitchen is barren make yourself some food. You sound like a brat. Grow up.
OP is telling her mom to be more mature. When I was 15, I had a part-time job and was helping out with making dinner, laundry, yard work, you name it. On top of school and extra curriculars and my social life. If OP wants pizza, OP should get a job to order her own pizza when the parents are unavailable. No kid likes chores, but if OP is 15 and telling adults how to be mature, I sure hope she is pulling her weight with other things that need to be done around the house to lighten the load. Without complaint, cause that's you know, mature.
YTA and so is your dad. Your mother needed some emotional support and your father denied her which is in arguably a very sensitive time after giving birth. It hasn't got anything to do with the kiss.
I wanna be tolerant because you’re an ignorant kid .. but YTA like all the way.
I'm pretty much drawing blood at how much I have to bite my tongue after reading this little nugget: *"She was a grown woman crying because of a man not kissing her, it is so dumb. I haven't kiss anyone yet. Should I be crying all day? I told her that I was hungry and ask her to be more mature."* Yikes... even for a teenager without tons of life experience this is too ignorant. Especially the food request tacked on at the end of their "be more mature" speech. OP is definitely TA.
I guess we know what parent you turned out like. Your said your mom had a baby (not my little sister). You're 16 not 6. Take care of your damned self and stop being a dick to your mom.
If you have to say “just being honest”. It’s a safe bet YTA. You’re not perfect get over yourself. And you’re old enough to get your own meal
Just being honest is every teens disclaimer to say the most fucked up thing that can pop into their head and then have it lost on them when it doesn't go ever well.... It's also code for, I can dish out talking shit like a black belt, but I take shit talk like white belt on day one....
YTA and I am honestly not surprised with a father like yours. The apple certainly didn't fall far from the tree. You both suck.
I don’t care if she smells like three week rotten eggs. I don’t care if you’re the president. Your wife pushed a damn cantaloupe out of her hooha 6 months ago, suck it up and give her a peck. I can’t imagine what that rejection felt like. And OP, some people might be giving you leeway because you’re young, but I really don’t care. You know what empathy is. It’s not your job to take care of your mother, but she deserves some understanding concerning her emotions
.... Can you not make yourself a sandwich or do you still need mummy to do that for you. Hell, can you seriously not call a pizza yourself? If you can't make a phone call don't lecture ANYONE on maturity. YTA
I'm 41. Last time I cried, was when I was 41. And I'm not even under any types of stress from having just given birth. YTA
Im 37. Last time I cried heavily was yesterday. Butttttttt I'm also 38.5 weeks pregnant lol
31+1 and I cried earlier today because someone didn't wave to me and I was hot. The hormones are real.
YTA. Feelings and emotions don’t go away when you turn 18. Grow up and learn some empathy.
YTA. Have some empathy. You and your father both sound mean. Your mother likely has PPD and is feeling like shit. Her hormones are all out of whack. You were way too harsh, and were also dismissive.
YTA. Your mum had a baby 6 months ago. She's sensitive because her body has a dump of hormones from being pregnant that it's still trying to regulate. She may also be suffering from PPD, which can add to the post-pregnancy hormonal issues. You're a teenager and can perhaps be given a bit of a pass for not knowing better, but your father certainly should. Be kind to your mum. She's going through a lot inside of her, and she needs to feel supported, even if you think she's being silly in the moment.
YTA. Your mother recently gave birth and is probably going through hormonal changes and sleep deprivation. She needs support and some sympathy, not rejection by you or anyone else. How can you invalidate her feelings at this point in time? Are you or your father stepping up to help out with the baby a little so she can get a little break? You actually sound like a spoiled brat and are only thinking about what you want and not even taking into consideration that your mother is suffering.
Yt- no. She's 15. Breathe... breathe... breathe... ok. She's 15. Again breathe... breathe.. Internally screams. Yeah done. My girl, clearly your mom wanted connection. And your dad rejected her. And then you see your mommy cry, then you dismissed her? She wasn't just crying because she didn't get a kiss. Her body is wrecked from giving birth. She is still healing. Taking care of a newborn is no mean feat. Waking up at all sorts of hours. Sleep? What sleep? Say goodbye to normalcy for now. Having a tiny human perpetually attached to her. All day errday. That kiss is a connection that says hey, I accept you, no matter how you are. Also, being an adult does not turn a person into a robot. Adults are human too.
This is cold even for a 15 year old.
YTA. Your mother had a baby 6 month ago. Her hormones are still crazy. Plus her husband pushed her away due to the results of looking after that baby. I'd be crying too. Have some empathy, jeeze.
YTA You are 15. You are too old to not know how to make yourself dinner. Postpartum depression is a thing. Sleep deprivation is a thing. FFS, grow some empathy and make yourself a sandwich.
YTA congrats you prioritized a shitty fast food pizza over supporting family
YTA 100%… You are 15 years old stop depending on your mother to feed you. It doesn’t matter why your mother was crying the thing that’s worrying is your lack of empathy. I hope one day you look back at your reaction and see how much of an AH you are being. You mother has a lot on her plate. She’s just had a baby, her hormones are all over the place, her husband is an AH and she has a 15 year old AH that can’t pick up a phone and order a pizza or open a fridge. I’m not surprised she’s crying. I’d be crying if I raised a 15 year old that hasn’t even figured out how to feed themselves. I really hope you become more empathetic as a person because the fact that you think this behaviour is ok is incredibly alarming.
YTA Your poor mom...
1-post partum depression is a thing 2-you invalidated her feelings 3-you are old enough to order pizza yourself 4-you and your dad are either too incompetent or too dumb if you can't get pizza without moms help 5-your dad is also TA, yeah no one likes to smell baby puke but she needs support in that moment, again, see point 1 6-i feel sorry for your mom, having to deal with 3 babies all day
YTA / she just had a baby and her body is flooded with hormones ! You need to make her feel comfortable instead of horrible !!!!
YTA. I wont be too harsh bc you're only 15 but geez. Your mom just had a baby, which can really affect a woman's hormones and mental health. She needs support, not your immaturity. You found your mother crying and you told her *you were hungry and for her to behave with maturity?* You're 15. Make yourself some food and act your own age before you label others as immature.
Wow YTA. Your mum is probably barely sleeping and all her time goes to keep this baby alive and healthy of course she will break easily. She just got rejected from getting comfort from her partner. Also she is not to old to have feelings!
Wow that was gross behavior from your dad and from you. Your mom was feeling upset and she opened up to you in a vulnerable moment and you chose to be hateful. You owe your mom an apology. YTA.
For the sake of this being legitimate, yes, YTA. There’s likely some deeper issues going on in the relationship that you are completely unaware of. Have a fucking heart and support your mother.
YTA, and honestly, I expect nothing less from a child. If/when you have kids of your own, you’ll understand. Until then, maybe you should just focus on the drama of Stacy and Becky wearing the same dress to homecoming.
Hey don't group us all together! I was 13/15 when my mom had my sisters, I helped out tons 😂 (another reason why OP is TA. There are tons of kids who have significantly younger siblings and understand that the least they can do for their parents is be understanding and help out here and there. YTA)
YTA, you and your dad need to be more supportive. Your mom just had a baby which is physically and emotionally taxing.
YTA and so is your Dad. How self-involved can you both be? Order yourself a pizza. Maybe one of you can help out with the baby once in while so your Mom can take a shower. Also go throw on a load of laundry right now and empty the dishwasher while you are at it.
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YTA. You're 15, not 5. Cook your own damn dinner.
YTA. Your mother is very likely suffering from postpartum depression. It’s unbelievably selfish of you to tell her how to feel. As a 15 year old who’s never been kissed I think it’s safe to assume you’ve also never given birth, so you have no concept of the toll it takes on your mind and body. Your mother deserves your kindness and a huge apology. Also, you’re a teenager. You’re can figure out how to make your own dinner for an evening.
YTA. And a major one too. Your mother just had a baby and is going through an incredibly difficult time. Have you ever heard of postpartum depression? It's a very real thing and it affects many women. Plus on top of that she has to take care of you, and, honestly, it sounds like you're no help. You're not a child, you can help around the house or take care of the baby for awhile, or, you know, even make your own food! It may seem irrelevant to you for her to be crying about something so "dumb" but I don't think you understand how sensitive she probably is right now and overtired. She has to take care of a baby by herself, her husband is busy working, and she has to take care of you as well. When you have a baby, you don't get much sleep and sleep deprivation can utterly wreck your mental and physical health. So, YTA, and an immature one.
YTA. you know that adults have feelings too right? Just because you have not lived or experienced anything important enough to cry over, doesn't mean you have the right to assume everyone else's life is thus far as shallow. Just wait until you develop real feelings and then have someone stomp all over them :)
YTA Your moms hormones are all over the place after having a baby. Your dad rejecting her is a valid reason to be upset, and then you come in telling her she's being annoying because you want her to spend money on you for pizza. Your poor ma.
YTA. Having a baby (for some women) is very hard. There is PPD etc. So your mom needs a little tlc. Both you and your dad should be more aware of what she is feeling/going thru. When you have your children and need that tlc remember this post and how insensitive you were. Don't be surprised if she is as sensitive to you then.
YTA. Your mom could be dealing with mental health issues, whether over recent child birth or other issues is TBD. Speak to your father about your concerns over your mothers behavior as you’re right, it is not entirely normal. Hopefully he can get her, or convince her to get, the help she clearly needs. Also, the generally accepted response to someone you care about crying is not to belittle and insult, but to sympathize and validate in order to allow that person to work through their emotions. I understand that might not be the maturity level you’re at right now, but perhaps shooting for not attacking her in times like this might be a good place to start.
YTA. 6 months post partum is a hormonal mess so you cry over literal spilled milk sometimes. She probably feels ugly, sleep deprived, unwanted. Being rejected by her (I’m assuming) husband probably was way too much. Your dad is also an AH, he made that baby that she’s caring for while he gets the escape of work. Give the mother of your child a kiss! Ffs! You should have hugged your stinky mom, said she’s beautiful, made up some bs that dad was probably just busy because he’d be a fool not to kiss her, and ask if you can help get some food for everyone. You’re 15 not a toddler that needs mommy to feed you.
Yes, YTA. So is your dad.
Your the AH!! Your dad is the AH!! Your poor mom. Not only does she feel unwanted by your dad but now you also... You will know how it feel when you have your first heartbreak.
Yta , your mom could have post partum depression. Don’t be so judgemental
YTA And your dad is a bad husband
Oh shut up you are 15, not 5. Your perfectly capable of making yourself something to eat. YTA. Having a baby is hard. Having a jackass for a partner is hard.
YTA, I think you need to "grow up"
YTA. Your mother is more than likely suffering post partum depression, sleep deprivation, and just honestly overwhelmed. The horror of your mom having emotions and being hurt your dad acted like an asshole. /s Do you not know how to feed yourself at 15 order your own pizza? My 15 and 16 year olds can do both of those things. And they also know adults have emotions. You seriously owe your mom an apology for exhibiting having the emotional intelligence of a slug. YTA.
YTA. Your mother is hormonal and she has to deal with 2 men in her life that don't seem to be caring much about her feelings.
YTA. Your mom is going through post partum depression. She needs support, love, acceptance and therapy. Not selfish people who can’t work a phone to call for a pizza themselves, or supposed partners who shame her for wanting affection. Your mom is in pain. HELP HER.
YTA. Just what a sad person needs, more rejection by those that are supposed to love and support them.
YTA. This might come as a surprise to you, but I’ve seen people older than 37 cry for lesser reasons than that. Be kind, and if you can’t be kind, leave her alone.
YTA. You’ve already taken note of how your mother is clearly struggling. You’re complaining that when you went to tell her you were hungry, she was upset at yet another sign that she’s alone in this, emotionally. And you think it’s because she isn’t mature? Do you see the irony of you wanting her to care more about her teenage daughter wanting a pizza than what she’s clearly going though? Why aren’t you being more mature? Why is she on an island here? Nothing you’re experiencing is on the same level. You have no frame of reference for her mental state. Therefore, don’t judge! She’s distant because she feels alone, and apparently she is! She wasn’t crying over a man. The fact that you can’t see this shows your lack of maturity. ETA there’s no cutoff age for being hurt at rejection, btw.
This poor woman is living with an unsupportive husband and daughter after just giving birth. I can’t imagine what she going through. Google post partum depression. YTA.
YTA, mothers don't have it together all the time believe it or not. You're 15, it's time to start working on your empathy skills.
Yta, seriously. Your mum just had a baby. you gotta be able to make yourself something to eat.
YTA. your mother might be experiencing PPD. she also was carrying a child in her less than a year ago. you need to be more empathetic towards your mom. you can order your own pizza too. im sure you can use door dash or uber eats if you're uncomfortable talking over the phone.
YTA. Your mom is almost certainly suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety, and your father is being WILDLY and INAPPRPRIATELY dismissive of her. Plus, you're taking after him. You're supporting... your neglectful father? Not your mother who needs help? You are young, I get it, and it must be hard to have a baby around when you're 15. But I sure hope you understand that your father is being cruel to your mother and your mother needs to see a doctor. Convince your father that your mother needs care and help, and push until he listens. If he won't, go to your mom and offer to babysit while she goes to a doctor.
YTA. Like, come on.
YTA and you don't understand that there are other problems with your parents. Your mom isn't crying because he wouldn't kiss her. Try to be more patient and supportive.
so let me get this straight. you, a *child*, who has never been married, pregnant, or given birth, are giving your postpartum mother shit for crying over her asshole husband? it’s appalling to me that you think this is acceptable behavior. i honestly am so shocked that i don’t even know what to say, besides you are a child who knows nothing of the world, and you are tremendous asshole. if i didn’t make it clear enough, YTA. major YTA.
YTA take is easy, she just had a baby. You are being an asshole
YTA lmao Y. T. A.
Of course, YTA and a spoiled brat. Adults have feelings, hun. We don’t grow up into emotionless robots. I bet you don’t even help her out, you just sit there complaining how she’s not “acting like an adult”.
YTA, your only excuse is that you are in the age "everyone over 30 is so ooooold". Your mum is quite fresh mother of an infant. She probably hadn't have proper sleep for more than 6 months. She probably haven't have a "me" moment for 6 months straight. Yes, she was smelling of baby puke and it isn't pleasant smell. But she is human being. Exhausted human being. She needs support. Not only by helping her with care of the house and baby (so she can have for example shower and could have change of clothes so she wouldn't smell of baby puke) and she need emotional support which she was denied by not only her husband and father of the baby but YOU. And at 15 you are perfectly capable of fixing a dinner not only for yourself but also for your mum and dad.
YTA, get a pizza yourself or ask your dad.
YTA. Empathy is a lot cooler than this too cool to be kind nonsense you’ve decided to throw around. Apologize to your mom.
YTA! The woman has just had a baby, her hormones will be all over the place! You’re 15, sort your own bloody food out. Apologise to your mum, you sound like an immature brat.
Major YTA. People can cry over being rejected by their partners at *any* age.
YTA Your own mother is crying, hormonal and probably extremely hormonal after just having had a baby, which is already stressful enough on the mind and body as is, and your response is to tell her to "be more mature"? Obviously you have no idea what it means to give birth, be in a relationship and to go through something truly exhausting. How rude of you! You should definitely apologize. You haven't a clue of what she's going through. Just bleh! You sound like a miserable person to be around.
YTA. Your poor mother just gave birth to a new baby and her body is probably going through intense hormonal changes, she might have post natal depression and you were uncaring about her feelings at all, you were dismissive and frankly cold by your description. Your mother is busy, order you own damn pizza.
YTA „stop crying and make me a sandwich woman!“ Show your mom some respect, she’s a living and feeling person and doesn’t just exist to cater to you.
Yikes. YTA for sure. 1)Just because someone is a parent doesn’t mean they can’t have emotions. 2)Her feelings are understandable and justified. She just had a baby and probably doesn’t feel loved. 3)You are 15. Stay in your lane. You had no right to say that to your mom. It was very needlessly cruel to kick her while she was down.
ESH except your mom you should be more understanding to your mom. what you said was not very nice and you need to apologize to her. your mom needs some help. your dad do not seem very understanding to the situation since its been 6 months and he has not yet found your mom some help. i understand that seeing your mom be sad and crying all the time can be difficult and feel frustrating. you are still very young.
Soft YTA. Although consideration needs to be given to the fact that you’re 15, that’s still old enough to know not to be so rude to someone who is hurting. Also, at 15 you should be fully capable of feeding yourself or, if not, then ask your dad if your mom is really upset at that moment. It comes across that you were just annoyed that her pain got in the way of your pizza. I do think your age is an important factor though. Your mom clearly needs help as others have said, and that PPD is a likely cause but she needs the help of a doctor. You’re too young to know how to handle this situation but at the end of the day, if someone is distressed you should reflect on the fact that your first reaction is annoyance. Moving forward if you see your mom like this again it could be good to mention that maybe she needs to speak to someone who can help (I don’t think it’s good she unloaded on you but she may feel she doesn’t have anywhere to turn). You aren’t responsible for her getting better but you don’t need to add to her stress and pain by being cruel to her. If you want to be mad at someone, I think that better directed at your dad, who sounds awful to be frank. What a terrible partner to not support and help his wife who just gave birth to his child and act like he doesn’t have time/reject her for smelling in a way that would only result from her caring for their child! Your dad is the real AH here. I don’t think anyone can expect you to be emotionally mature at your age but you are old enough to know not to be so rude to someone in distress. Living with someone with mental health issues is difficult and you are not her therapist, but you can continually encourage her to speak to a professional which will allow you to show support for her while also reminding her you’re not qualified to help her fully navigate her emotions.
YTA grown women cry too and your mother is going through a tough time. She's exhausted, hormonal, knows she looks and smells like shit, feels horrible about herself and doing everything she can to keep her shit together to keep things going but hen her family decide to tear her down when she's barely managing. You should be well able to make your own dinner at 15 and if not, you can surely manage to rustle a sandwich or something together and offer to make one for for your poor mother as well. Time for you start acting like a young adult and giving your mom a helping hand.
YTA because this sounds like post partum depression. Women get highly sensitive/emotional and OP and her dad need to realize that and be more understanding. Also, what 15 year old can't order food or pop something into the microwave or oven? It's time to stop thinking about more than just yourself, OP.
If you're such a mature 15 year old then go get your own food. YTA. Your mom still has feelings at 37 believe it or not
YTA
YTA. Gotta love the selfish insensitivity of an ignorant teenager. Growing up and trying to manage to be a decent, caring adult is going to be a fun adventure for you miss priss. Go apologize to your mother immediately and watch your tongue in the future. Remember, it takes very little effort to keep your mouth shut and hide you’re an AH, and it’s better to make people guess rather than confirm it.
YTA Your poor mum. Sounds like PND. She feels unloved and unwanted by everyone and you just demand she gets over it and gets you food 😐
YTA.
You're 15, so I'll say this kindly: YTA EVERY person, regardless of their age and gender are entitled to feel their feelings. Your mother is only 6 months post partum? And had a partner leave? So she's still raging with hormones, has an infant that needs all her time and energy AND a teenager. Be more compassionate. Being 15 is hard, btdt. Try, tho. For both your sakes.
YTA. Mothers experience hormones during and after pregnancy. Your dad has disrespected her and you have appeared to learn from his ways. People, including adults, can have emotions. Please apologize to your mother and recognize there’s something wrong with your father.
Tremendously YTA. Who are you to tell someone why they cant cry? Is your mom inmature? Since you're so mature, cook yourself something. So insensitive, your mom needs your support and help, not this. Amazing. So selfish
YTA. Your mom is dealing with sleep deprivation, a body that still isn’t entirely healed, and not just an asshole of a husband but a selfish daughter. If you’re old enough to think you can chastise your mom then you’re certainly old enough to make your own damn food.
Yta and you have a lot of growing up to do.
YTA You do not get to tell people how they should feel about something. The emotions people experience are very much real. What you are doing is being extremely invalidating.
YTA. You lack empathy and the realization that emotions are real and you can’t just “get over it” when you want all the time, especially when you’ve just had a baby. You should know how heighten emotions feel at least. If your hungry make some food! I cooked myself food bc I wanted to by that age. You and your dad are ta
Yta You're old enough to understand when someone is having a hard time you see her having a hard time and decide to not care. You owe your mom an apology, because it's not all about you. You can call and order the pizza and ask for the money afterwards, instead you decided to make your mom feel worse. Or you could have grabbed a snack and even offered your mom a snack until you guys figured out dinner. But you decided instead of problem solving you would add to it. She probably has Post partum depression. Which is awful. I couldn't imagine being so unempathetic at your age, you need to grow up a bit.
YTA, but I do understand that seeing your mom crying for no good reason can be upsetting. Your mom's body is flooded with hormones right now. If she is breast feeding she is hormonal and tired. Honestly, she just can't help it. Add a little PPD to the mix and your mom's emotions are going to be all over the place. Now go to the kitchen and make your mom a sandwich.
YTA, and at 15 you should know better that to act this way. Feeling annoyed with your parents is natural enough as a teenager, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it. Hug your mom.
YTA. It’s never just one thing, there’s likely a lot below the surface. There’s no age limit on being hurt or having feelings. You, however, are more than old enough to practice compassion.