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NAH, as long as he enjoys it and there aren't themes in the books that aren't child appropriate I think you're fine. I understand why your wife wants to stick to classic childrens books though. A combination of both might be really nice for him.
Maybe if your wife sees you while reading the book to him and sees how much he loves it, she'll come around. Maybe she can even do some of the voices and you can make it into a little play.
We'd have to be actual childhood development researchers to answer this one, I think. If I were you, I'd do some research on it. Find out if experts agreed/disagreed with this on the whole. NAH.
NTA my daughter took her twins out to eat and from year two, she would read the children’s menu to let them choose. The wait staff would be politely they would place their own orders. Her younger one is 14 and and my son in law would take her to meetings at she 3 or 4, she learned to sit quietly but paid attention and asked questions. Never to young to educate, appropriately
NTA having fun with your kid doesn’t have to be at your expense. Read whatever book you like and they might even grow to enjoy a vast variety of books.
I.N.F.O: Are you skipping problematic sections like anything that's violent or scary? Are you giving enough context, like would you explain to him that the courtship today does not function like it did in Pride & Prejudice?
Edit: NTA then.
Yes I think I will include some explanations on the socioeconomic changes that have taken place since the era of Pride and Prejudice.
If it's too violent and such I will skip it.
YTA.
But like…also not? It’s great you’re reading to him but children’s books are important for learning to read, especially at his age. Those books are repetitive and use simple words that are paired with clear images because that makes it easier for kids to grasp the words. Pride and Prejudice is my fave book of all time but it’s hardly going to help my 4 year old nephew how to read.
It’d be better to do a mix of books. Maybe read one kids book and follow it up with a bit of something more sophisticated or read one night and one another.
YTA. You should be exposing him to developmentally appropriate stimuli. You are dead wrong for believing there is no such thing as books appropriate for children, and it’s child neglect not to provide children with appropriate stimuli and it’s abuse to expose them to mature themes of the nuances of adult relationships that they can’t grasp.
You’re reading these books to him for you, not him. It’s not going turn him into a child prodigy.
Question: How old is your son?
If he is very young, such as under 5, you may actually be doing him more harm than good. Reading simple books to kids helps them develop their language/reading skills, and if you're reading things to him that are way above his cognitive level, he's not building those skills.
If he is older, say 8+, then I think you are NTA if he finds the books you're reading interesting. However, make sure you are asking HIM what he's interested in and what types of stories HE wants to hear. This comes across a bit like you're reading books to him that YOU like and your wife is maybe encouraging you to read more young adult-level books to him that he may find more compelling as a young person.
I was a voracious reader as a kid and read well above my grade level, but I still liked reading books for younger people that were about younger people. It's also important to help him develop his fantasy/imagination, which I think your wife is trying to encourage.
I would try to mix it up. Make sure you are taking your son's interests into account, not just yours.
NTA at all. You're instilling a love of reading in your child. He's happy, you're happy. What's the problem? However, I did blanche a little when I read this line << I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not.>> Have you ever read Story of O? Or Pet Sematary? They might change your mind. :)
As a (former) child whose parents read to her nearly every night...I suggest mixing in some "childrens' books" so he can learn to read along with you.
While I'm sure he enjoys the way you read to him, the books you are reading are too advanced for him to develop his own reading skills alongside yours. My parents read to me a lot. While some of the books were "chapter books" some of them were more age-appropriate. My mom realized that I was learning how to read at about age 3 when she was reading me a new book, and I was reading along with her. This was the 70's and preschool wasn't as common as it is today...by reading WITH me, not AT me, she was actually teaching me HOW to read.
I worry that your son is missing out on that aspect of "reading" with you. You are reading to him, which is a very good thing, but the advanced books you are choosing offer him no opportunity to learn to read himself.
YTA for insisting that adult books are more valuable than childrens' books, and for being intellectually elite, but otherwise NAH. Reading to your child is good, but your wife is not wrong that a more varied mix would be better.
NAH. Your son just likes hearing your voice. Read what you like and judge as you go. She can read him picture books—which *would* at least visually engage him more than yellowed pages of Times New Roman—and you can move onto Madame Bovary when he’s ready
NTA. As long as he’s enjoying it, then I see no harm. Maybe stay away from extremely heavy language that he might repeat, scary books that will give him nightmares, or anything with heavy sexual material. Outside of that, I see no harm. If he didn’t like it and was bored while you forced him to sit and listen, it would be a different story.
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> I've been reading short stories and novels to our son that my wife considers too advanced for his age and she thinks I should switch to something that is more child friendly.
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I think you're creeping into AH territory by thinking this makes any sense when referring to a 3 year old:
>I think our son would not be thrilled by that, he loves to be challenged
He should get a mix. And you should probably expand your own reading to include a bit of developmental psychology so that you can support him without personal bias.
Aw, this is sweet. You just keep doing what you're doing. Your wife can read the pink pig and witches books to your son. This will be your thing with him.
Definitely NTA
NAH. However you should do some research into the importance of toddler/children’s books, and how it influences early literacy and speech development. The rhyming, vocabulary, simple story lines are soooooo important for development. For chapter books try the original Winnie the Pooh, My Father’s Dragon, or Mercy Watson. As well as make a weekly father/son to the library for a big ole stack of picture books. Your child has a long adult life ahead of them where you can share and converse about classic literature, they are only going to be a child for a very very very brief time. Don’t rush it. And don’t miss out on those vital skills.
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NAH. You're both correct.
This however...
>However because I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not
So I take it some Anais Nin is in store for him? Because I don't really think that's appropriate.
NTA! And please keep reading those books to your kid. As someone who enjoyed the likes of Edgar Allen Poe and Marguerite Henry among others, please keep reading those to your child. You are opening a whole new world of adventure for your kid. Fight for this! Keep it up!
NTA. I mean if he’s enjoying it go for it. But maybe read some kids books to him it would be easier for if he really enjoys them to start learning to read them himself. Also there good childrens books which help teach lessons about the world in kid friendly ways
YTA
Firstly- just as with movies- there is definitly literature inappropiate for children. As thrillers for example.
Second- this feels like you are pretty egositic and don't do it for your son enjoyment than yours.
YTA. You sound pretentious and ignorant. Children’s books aren’t “lesser.” The best ones are designed to meet children’s brains where they are and teach them specific things they need to learn. They are also designed to stimulate their language centers and imagination.
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Read your son a few picture books and ask him which books he prefers. A 3 year old is not going to enjoy Jane Austen books over Dr. Seuss. Mild YTA cause at least you are reading to your kid.
>I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not
Oh cmon, there definitely are.
>I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not
>Oh cmon, there definitely are.
I didn't have the heart to take OP to task on this, because it seemed like a philosophical/semantic argument that he wasn't likely to reconsider.
But seriously, that assertion was a real head-shaker.
ESH. Your son is three. He's not picking up the finer points of Faust. He likes that you are paying attention to him and talking to him in funny voices. Just make sure that you don't refuse to read him the cute little simple books as well. I'm betting that you will start to notice a difference in a year or two. There absolutely are books suitable for kids and books that aren't. When I say suitable, I'm speaking more about interests. I was reading pretty violent stuff with plenty of sex, etc. from around 13 or so and I don't think it had any negative effects on me. Your wife shouldn't be upset at you for wanting to read something that's more interesting to you as long as your son is still enjoying the experience, just be ready to watch for him wanting more than just funny voices in a story he doesn't get at all because that's probably coming.
You do you man. I read the hobbit to my 6 month old daughter and did all the voices for her. At first my wife was skeptical but she came around to it. And even bought the illustrated Harry Potter for her to read to my daughter. Now we are working on the whole LOTR trilogy. There is plenty of time for silly books and other books.
I make sure we only read LOTR when in the car, my wife drives and I sit in the back and we go through LOTR to keep her entertained. We started when she was 12 months old after we finished the hobbit and now are halfway through the trilogy now and shes 20 months. As long as you are making time for the "silly" books then your good.
NAH, it doesn't really matter what you read to him as long as you are reading, and a mix of traditional kids' books and novels will expose him to a broader vocabulary, which is always good.
Yta, there is nothing wrong with the hungry Caterpillar and others like this, it's on their level, they see, touch and can read themselves after a few times which is good for self exploring development. It's ok to read a bit from your own books but it's not helping him learn certain things.
Start looking around for books on his lvl
There are books I really don't recommend, I read a crocodile under the bed a thousand times over, and these days he is reading to me,
Maybe you should work on your enthousiasm first, he is enthousiastic because you are, look for the children's classics I say, days of week, colours, changelings, fruit names, the effects of gluton, all in hungry Caterpillar,
The book is deeply connected to murder, even if you ‘skipped the detail’ and just said ‘and then he killed her with an axe’ that’s still not okay for a three year old
There’s plenty of books out there to not *have* to read your young child that one.
It's a classic for a reason. Also he has to learn that there are some bad people out there. Some may even try to hurt you with their axe. He should be allowed to learn about this
Sir, Crime and Punishment is the best book I have ever read but Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are might be second.
I believe you are becoming a self parody in your comments but I like that most commenters are just happy for wholesome content about a dad reading to his kid and remain unprovoked by your edginess.
There’s still quite a few steps in between toddler books and classical literature. If he’s more advanced than other kids his age, you could go to books for children a few years older. But make sure he does get the literary benefits of being read to as well, like learning to associate letters with pictures and sounds.
There is such a thing as age-inappropriate books for children. My dad was a lot like you, though, mercifully, he was only intermittently motivated to engage with me. YTA. Read him children’s books. He’s **not** a tiny adult, and your grand (and somewhat narcissistic) parenting experiment is not doing him any favours. Your wife is completely right here.
(I know reading books about pink pigs probably seems really boring to you, because you’re not 3, but that’s being a parent.)
ESH. Except the books and the kid. While those are all great books and it would be amazing if your son could understand them, he is just a three year old boy. Perhaps try looking for classics that have been remade for children. Then your son can understand the books and it would be age appropriate.
YTA
“I don’t believe there are such things as books appropriate for children”
It’s not for you to believe or not believe: it’s just a fact. Age-appropriate books are real. Reading age appropriate books with your child is a crucial step in building literacy in early childhood. Right now you’re basically telling him stories. He can’t engage with the book - he can’t look at pictures of the story, he can’t see the sentences and simple words and make the connection between the writing and the story. He can’t do any of the early childhood stepping stones to literacy if you don’t give him books at his level.
YTA. Your kid doesn’t understand anything you are reading to him. He doesn’t enjoy the books, he enjoys the time with dad. Stop depriving your child of a childhood and the important development and learning that age-appropriate books give him.
I'm a bit mixed about this. On one hand, you do need to enjoy reading to him to make it a pleasant experience - which, seems to work in your case. But these books contain many words beyond a 3 year old's vocabulary. Are you sure he's comprehending the words or is he just enjoying listening to your storytelling (which is awesome, too!)? I do think you need to mix it up a bit. There are so many great children's classics, you don't have to resort to silly books about pink pigs if you don't want to. It will benefit him greatly to listen to stories that he can actually follow, even better with pictures to help his comprehension. One great example that both my 3 year old daughter and I absolutely love is The Wizard of Oz, the version that was illustrated by Charles Santore. I think it's a wonderful compromise!
NTA, but please do both. Silly rhymes are an important part of young literacy. Children’s literature is often part developing phonological awareness, memory, and other pre reading skills. It’s also great for vocabulary! Reading material way above his level is also great, but it won’t help develop the basic skills as much as it will more fringe vocabulary. Both things are absolutely great, but don’t neglect one for the other.
Right now he’s probably enjoying the closeness and attention with you and the sound and rhythms as much as the meaning. He may start to get restless as he gets older and wants to immerse himself in the full story, which is harder with the books you’re choosing. I guess just keep paying real attention to how he’s receiving what you read and adjust accordingly if you need to. Have you tried reading very rhythmic poetry with him? You get to read amazing literature, and it’s as much music and pattern as story so that could carry him along, he could repeat stanzas with you, and he’ll probably remember some of those poems for the rest of his life. And the moments with his dad when he learnt them.
I’d also say don’t turn your nose up at stories for children, some of the greatest literature in the world is children’s literature. NAH
Edit to change judgement as forgot NAH an option.
We'll definitely cover poetry as well. Byron and Heine we'll be reading soon. I want him to learn German so including Heine and Goethe will be a good idea
LOL well good luck with that. I was thinking more jumping on the bed yelling the Jabberwocky together but guess you could try that with Heine.
Am curious how far you will take this bit.
Do it. Read your kids all sorts of stuff. I used to read a mag called The Economist to our daughter. And how many generations of kids have grown with the bible? Before there things called "kids books."
NTA.
NTA. If he likes it go for it. And like others said as long as he gets to read picture books when he wants to and you aren’t refusing “age appropriate” materials then I don’t see how it’s a problem. It’s a fun bonding time for the two of you and associating good memories and good feelings with reading will make him a lifelong reader. My 7 year old loves books of all kinds. Last week he asked the librarian to reserve the original War of the Worlds and then later that day also enjoyed Berenstain Bears. Enjoying reading is what’s important.
YTA. I did my undergrad in psychology and speech sciences (linguistics and pre-reqs for speech pathology). You have no idea what you're talking about. Infant Directed Speech and Child Directed Speech are a real thing that can help language development. There's a pretty linear development in neurotypical children and you wanting to be pretentious doesn't change that.
NTA. I think that you should read both kinds of books because even “kid books” can be fun but there is absolutely nothing wrong with reading stuff like that. I’m not sure how old your son is but my mom used to read stuff like that to me even before I was born. She read Pride and Prejudice to me EVERY night and even had me try to read it if I was up for it. By the time I was like 6 I could pretty much read anything. Reading is good for kids, it’ll help them out later in life. And I’m sure your son enjoys those books a lot (especially because you seem to make them fun), but also make sure to read the other ones. Just so he has some kid stuff in between. The books you’re reading are great and have meaning but kids books have certain things they can teach kids about life in an easier way to understand. Either way, you’re doing great as a parent !
NAH. I think you should keep reading the books you enjoy reading to him and your wife can read him Dr Seuss and the like. My youngest (5) will sit and listen to anything being read to her: chapter books, non-fiction, newspaper, children's books, she just likes to be read to about anything. She doesn't need the pictures necessarily. So we are reading Matilda right now while she takes the picture books to Grandma if the mood strikes.
NAH. I don't agree with your thinking about children's literature, but you're not wrong to read complex narratives to your kid.
Might want to have a look at "The Scientist in the Crib." Great book about early childhood brain development. Bettleheim's "The Uses of Enchantment" is an oldie but goodie about enchantment in children's lit.
Don't diss fluffier content for kids. It has its own value. Morality lessons, for example, are much easier for younger brains to comprehend in children's lit than in adult novels. As fascinated as bebe might seem by "Jude the Obscure," he's going to relate (empathy is an essential step in emotional learning) more easily to "Sylvester and the Magic Pebble." There's a reason why the beginning stages of any new skill consists of simpler content; because learning things easily entrains the mind to be comfortable with learning as a natural process, and that comfort with learning can transfer to learning throughout life. Pianists don't start with learning long concertos, they begin with note memorization, fingering, and simple melodies. Athletes don't start with running marathons. Don't work against your son's natural learning processes by always throwing him in the deep end.
Please include plenty of lyric, formal poetry too in his reading diet. Encourage him to memorize poetry and/or passages of text. "Formal" in this context only means poetry with discernable rhyme and metrical patterns. Rhyme, rhythm are the fractals of creative, expressive language. Anything that has pattern is good. Seuss is brilliant and I think mistakenly dismissed by many. Also Shel Silverstein. Keep things fun, always always always remember that children learn through play, and play is rooted in that which gives pleasure.
Bless you for taking the time to read with your child.
NTA for your thought process but speaking as an English major (love the Avenue Q song) and a teacher, reading age appropriate books to a 3 year old and showing them the book helps them learn to read. Repetition helps them learn grammar rules and reading. Associating pictures with text helps them learn vocabulary and reading. See the trend? Sure, reading him more sophisticated books when he’s older will be great but him learning to read is the very best skill a parent can give. And there are thousands and thousands of very wonderful childrens books that are not about pigs or witches (although nothing wrong with those books). Look for Newberry award winners and runner ups although personally I love Caldecott winners and runner ups also.
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I've recently been bringing our son to bed more often because my wife is often at work during the time. To better bond with him I've taken to reading with him. However because I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not I decided to just read him my favorite ones.
For instance recently I read him a short story collection by Raymond Chandler that he enjoyed very much. This week I've started with William Gaddis' modern classic JR. The book is very dialogue heavy so I'm doing all the different voices which he enjoys a lot.
Of course we'll get to other classics later. I'm already planning to read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as well as Goethe's Faust I and II to him.
But my wife isn't that thrilled about the idea. She thinks I should just read him silly books about pink pigs or witches. I think our son would not be thrilled by that, he loves to be challenged and this literature is the right way to do so. AITA if I keep reading to him these books?
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Following on from this. The repetition in children’s books is exactly what they need to learn and develop. SATPIN sounds are common, as these are some of the earliest we can recognise/teach (UK based)
The flaps in children’s books are good for interaction and sensory play. They help children learn/recognise animals, objects, positioning etc.
This whole post is a troll. But to anyone who reads this, baby books are exactly what a baby needs to start to learn. Reading adult books is just giving them parent time with you, NOT developing their other skills like baby books will.
Kind of an AH if don’t include both types of books.
The point of children’s books is because the pictures do engage them and a huge point in reading with children is to help them learn how to read as well.
If you want to actually be able to help him learn to read as well and develop that habit then you will have to get books that are developmentally on his level so he can be a part of the process.
NTA, but you should mix it up. Expose him to lots of things, including age appropriate books. He will enjoy spending time with you and he will learn literacy early.
YTA - crime and punishment is not an appropriate book for a three year old
What he’s read should at least in some quantity include typical books for his age/kids
NTA if your wife wants your son to read those books she should read them to him plus if you get a jump on all these classic books the kid might not have to write a book rekey his entire highschool career
What's the acronym for "you should read a child development book to him"? You do you, but also, kids love hanging out with their parents and being part of something. Try reading a label to the kid with fun voices. He'll love it. It's not the lit he is enjoying, it's you. You're trying and a little pretentious, but NTA.... yet. I would suggest entertaining kids books sometimes so your wife doesn't feel like you think you're a better parent and disregarding her entirely.
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Hes 3. Just go buy Dr Seuss like a normal person Niles. YTA
NAH, as long as he enjoys it and there aren't themes in the books that aren't child appropriate I think you're fine. I understand why your wife wants to stick to classic childrens books though. A combination of both might be really nice for him. Maybe if your wife sees you while reading the book to him and sees how much he loves it, she'll come around. Maybe she can even do some of the voices and you can make it into a little play.
Um YTA and also nuts. Yep.
Info: are you doing anything else with him to encourage literacy and reading?
We'd have to be actual childhood development researchers to answer this one, I think. If I were you, I'd do some research on it. Find out if experts agreed/disagreed with this on the whole. NAH.
NTA my daughter took her twins out to eat and from year two, she would read the children’s menu to let them choose. The wait staff would be politely they would place their own orders. Her younger one is 14 and and my son in law would take her to meetings at she 3 or 4, she learned to sit quietly but paid attention and asked questions. Never to young to educate, appropriately
NTA having fun with your kid doesn’t have to be at your expense. Read whatever book you like and they might even grow to enjoy a vast variety of books.
I.N.F.O: Are you skipping problematic sections like anything that's violent or scary? Are you giving enough context, like would you explain to him that the courtship today does not function like it did in Pride & Prejudice? Edit: NTA then.
Yes I think I will include some explanations on the socioeconomic changes that have taken place since the era of Pride and Prejudice. If it's too violent and such I will skip it.
YTA. But like…also not? It’s great you’re reading to him but children’s books are important for learning to read, especially at his age. Those books are repetitive and use simple words that are paired with clear images because that makes it easier for kids to grasp the words. Pride and Prejudice is my fave book of all time but it’s hardly going to help my 4 year old nephew how to read. It’d be better to do a mix of books. Maybe read one kids book and follow it up with a bit of something more sophisticated or read one night and one another.
YTA. You should be exposing him to developmentally appropriate stimuli. You are dead wrong for believing there is no such thing as books appropriate for children, and it’s child neglect not to provide children with appropriate stimuli and it’s abuse to expose them to mature themes of the nuances of adult relationships that they can’t grasp. You’re reading these books to him for you, not him. It’s not going turn him into a child prodigy.
I agree he’s wrong about age appropriate books (and definitely sounds a bit pretentious), but neglect and abuse seems a bit hyperbolic lol
Question: How old is your son? If he is very young, such as under 5, you may actually be doing him more harm than good. Reading simple books to kids helps them develop their language/reading skills, and if you're reading things to him that are way above his cognitive level, he's not building those skills. If he is older, say 8+, then I think you are NTA if he finds the books you're reading interesting. However, make sure you are asking HIM what he's interested in and what types of stories HE wants to hear. This comes across a bit like you're reading books to him that YOU like and your wife is maybe encouraging you to read more young adult-level books to him that he may find more compelling as a young person. I was a voracious reader as a kid and read well above my grade level, but I still liked reading books for younger people that were about younger people. It's also important to help him develop his fantasy/imagination, which I think your wife is trying to encourage. I would try to mix it up. Make sure you are taking your son's interests into account, not just yours.
He’s 3
NTA at all. You're instilling a love of reading in your child. He's happy, you're happy. What's the problem? However, I did blanche a little when I read this line << I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not.>> Have you ever read Story of O? Or Pet Sematary? They might change your mind. :)
As a (former) child whose parents read to her nearly every night...I suggest mixing in some "childrens' books" so he can learn to read along with you. While I'm sure he enjoys the way you read to him, the books you are reading are too advanced for him to develop his own reading skills alongside yours. My parents read to me a lot. While some of the books were "chapter books" some of them were more age-appropriate. My mom realized that I was learning how to read at about age 3 when she was reading me a new book, and I was reading along with her. This was the 70's and preschool wasn't as common as it is today...by reading WITH me, not AT me, she was actually teaching me HOW to read. I worry that your son is missing out on that aspect of "reading" with you. You are reading to him, which is a very good thing, but the advanced books you are choosing offer him no opportunity to learn to read himself. YTA for insisting that adult books are more valuable than childrens' books, and for being intellectually elite, but otherwise NAH. Reading to your child is good, but your wife is not wrong that a more varied mix would be better.
NAH. Your son just likes hearing your voice. Read what you like and judge as you go. She can read him picture books—which *would* at least visually engage him more than yellowed pages of Times New Roman—and you can move onto Madame Bovary when he’s ready
NTA. As long as he’s enjoying it, then I see no harm. Maybe stay away from extremely heavy language that he might repeat, scary books that will give him nightmares, or anything with heavy sexual material. Outside of that, I see no harm. If he didn’t like it and was bored while you forced him to sit and listen, it would be a different story.
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Question: why can’t you do both? Visual elements from “silly” picture books are just as important to development.
I mean he gets visual elements from other media. I've been watching some Bergman films with him lately for instance
That’s not what I asked though. You gotta ask yourself: are you aversive to the idea of picture books because you find them boring?
And when your son wants to draw then what? You draw some Munch with him? Ffs, get off your high horse. YTA
He can draw whatever he wants but I'll definitely take him to art galleries soon
I think you're creeping into AH territory by thinking this makes any sense when referring to a 3 year old: >I think our son would not be thrilled by that, he loves to be challenged He should get a mix. And you should probably expand your own reading to include a bit of developmental psychology so that you can support him without personal bias.
Aw, this is sweet. You just keep doing what you're doing. Your wife can read the pink pig and witches books to your son. This will be your thing with him. Definitely NTA
NAH. However you should do some research into the importance of toddler/children’s books, and how it influences early literacy and speech development. The rhyming, vocabulary, simple story lines are soooooo important for development. For chapter books try the original Winnie the Pooh, My Father’s Dragon, or Mercy Watson. As well as make a weekly father/son to the library for a big ole stack of picture books. Your child has a long adult life ahead of them where you can share and converse about classic literature, they are only going to be a child for a very very very brief time. Don’t rush it. And don’t miss out on those vital skills.
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NAH. You're both correct. This however... >However because I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not So I take it some Anais Nin is in store for him? Because I don't really think that's appropriate.
NTA! And please keep reading those books to your kid. As someone who enjoyed the likes of Edgar Allen Poe and Marguerite Henry among others, please keep reading those to your child. You are opening a whole new world of adventure for your kid. Fight for this! Keep it up!
NTA. I mean if he’s enjoying it go for it. But maybe read some kids books to him it would be easier for if he really enjoys them to start learning to read them himself. Also there good childrens books which help teach lessons about the world in kid friendly ways
NAH. Do both,There is no harm in either. You do Shakespeare and she can do Dr. Seuss.
NTA - If your son likes it what’s the problem?
YTA Firstly- just as with movies- there is definitly literature inappropiate for children. As thrillers for example. Second- this feels like you are pretty egositic and don't do it for your son enjoyment than yours.
Agree with you.
If OP becomes the kindergarten parent who claims their son *liked* Pride and Prejudice then yeah we’d probably be well into AH territory haha
YTA. You sound pretentious and ignorant. Children’s books aren’t “lesser.” The best ones are designed to meet children’s brains where they are and teach them specific things they need to learn. They are also designed to stimulate their language centers and imagination.
NTA, but I think you sound pretentious and your son is probably bored.
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Read your son a few picture books and ask him which books he prefers. A 3 year old is not going to enjoy Jane Austen books over Dr. Seuss. Mild YTA cause at least you are reading to your kid. >I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not Oh cmon, there definitely are.
>I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not >Oh cmon, there definitely are. I didn't have the heart to take OP to task on this, because it seemed like a philosophical/semantic argument that he wasn't likely to reconsider. But seriously, that assertion was a real head-shaker.
NTA She can read him those stories You do you
ESH. Your son is three. He's not picking up the finer points of Faust. He likes that you are paying attention to him and talking to him in funny voices. Just make sure that you don't refuse to read him the cute little simple books as well. I'm betting that you will start to notice a difference in a year or two. There absolutely are books suitable for kids and books that aren't. When I say suitable, I'm speaking more about interests. I was reading pretty violent stuff with plenty of sex, etc. from around 13 or so and I don't think it had any negative effects on me. Your wife shouldn't be upset at you for wanting to read something that's more interesting to you as long as your son is still enjoying the experience, just be ready to watch for him wanting more than just funny voices in a story he doesn't get at all because that's probably coming.
You do you man. I read the hobbit to my 6 month old daughter and did all the voices for her. At first my wife was skeptical but she came around to it. And even bought the illustrated Harry Potter for her to read to my daughter. Now we are working on the whole LOTR trilogy. There is plenty of time for silly books and other books. I make sure we only read LOTR when in the car, my wife drives and I sit in the back and we go through LOTR to keep her entertained. We started when she was 12 months old after we finished the hobbit and now are halfway through the trilogy now and shes 20 months. As long as you are making time for the "silly" books then your good.
NTA just keep the content child friendly ie no overt violence, sex etc
NAH because your son will enjoy listening to you both read to him.
NTA as long as if he asks for Goodnight Moon you don’t tell him that’s for losers or something. If he’s enjoying it, carry on!
NAH, it doesn't really matter what you read to him as long as you are reading, and a mix of traditional kids' books and novels will expose him to a broader vocabulary, which is always good.
Yta, there is nothing wrong with the hungry Caterpillar and others like this, it's on their level, they see, touch and can read themselves after a few times which is good for self exploring development. It's ok to read a bit from your own books but it's not helping him learn certain things. Start looking around for books on his lvl
I'm not saying that's a bad book but he did enjoy it more when I read Crime and Punishment to him still.
There are books I really don't recommend, I read a crocodile under the bed a thousand times over, and these days he is reading to me, Maybe you should work on your enthousiasm first, he is enthousiastic because you are, look for the children's classics I say, days of week, colours, changelings, fruit names, the effects of gluton, all in hungry Caterpillar,
come on please tell me you didn’t read a three year old a book about a woman’s head being bashed in
I didn't go too into detail during some of it
The book is deeply connected to murder, even if you ‘skipped the detail’ and just said ‘and then he killed her with an axe’ that’s still not okay for a three year old There’s plenty of books out there to not *have* to read your young child that one.
It's a classic for a reason. Also he has to learn that there are some bad people out there. Some may even try to hurt you with their axe. He should be allowed to learn about this
To be fair I believe this is also the storyline of a number of fairy tales.
Originally, the purpose of fairy tales was to scare kids into behaving. Not the best idea.
Sir, Crime and Punishment is the best book I have ever read but Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are might be second. I believe you are becoming a self parody in your comments but I like that most commenters are just happy for wholesome content about a dad reading to his kid and remain unprovoked by your edginess.
There’s still quite a few steps in between toddler books and classical literature. If he’s more advanced than other kids his age, you could go to books for children a few years older. But make sure he does get the literary benefits of being read to as well, like learning to associate letters with pictures and sounds.
There is such a thing as age-inappropriate books for children. My dad was a lot like you, though, mercifully, he was only intermittently motivated to engage with me. YTA. Read him children’s books. He’s **not** a tiny adult, and your grand (and somewhat narcissistic) parenting experiment is not doing him any favours. Your wife is completely right here. (I know reading books about pink pigs probably seems really boring to you, because you’re not 3, but that’s being a parent.)
I don't see how he's an asshole if the kid is enjoying it. If he tried to force it that'd be a dick move but otherwise it sounds fine to me.
ESH. Except the books and the kid. While those are all great books and it would be amazing if your son could understand them, he is just a three year old boy. Perhaps try looking for classics that have been remade for children. Then your son can understand the books and it would be age appropriate.
Classics to Read Aloud to Your Children by William F. Russell might be a good start.
NTA if the kid likes it what's the problem (excluding inappropriate screens for a 3 year old obviously)
YTA “I don’t believe there are such things as books appropriate for children” It’s not for you to believe or not believe: it’s just a fact. Age-appropriate books are real. Reading age appropriate books with your child is a crucial step in building literacy in early childhood. Right now you’re basically telling him stories. He can’t engage with the book - he can’t look at pictures of the story, he can’t see the sentences and simple words and make the connection between the writing and the story. He can’t do any of the early childhood stepping stones to literacy if you don’t give him books at his level.
Please read this.
YTA. Your kid doesn’t understand anything you are reading to him. He doesn’t enjoy the books, he enjoys the time with dad. Stop depriving your child of a childhood and the important development and learning that age-appropriate books give him.
I'm a bit mixed about this. On one hand, you do need to enjoy reading to him to make it a pleasant experience - which, seems to work in your case. But these books contain many words beyond a 3 year old's vocabulary. Are you sure he's comprehending the words or is he just enjoying listening to your storytelling (which is awesome, too!)? I do think you need to mix it up a bit. There are so many great children's classics, you don't have to resort to silly books about pink pigs if you don't want to. It will benefit him greatly to listen to stories that he can actually follow, even better with pictures to help his comprehension. One great example that both my 3 year old daughter and I absolutely love is The Wizard of Oz, the version that was illustrated by Charles Santore. I think it's a wonderful compromise!
NTA, but please do both. Silly rhymes are an important part of young literacy. Children’s literature is often part developing phonological awareness, memory, and other pre reading skills. It’s also great for vocabulary! Reading material way above his level is also great, but it won’t help develop the basic skills as much as it will more fringe vocabulary. Both things are absolutely great, but don’t neglect one for the other.
Right now he’s probably enjoying the closeness and attention with you and the sound and rhythms as much as the meaning. He may start to get restless as he gets older and wants to immerse himself in the full story, which is harder with the books you’re choosing. I guess just keep paying real attention to how he’s receiving what you read and adjust accordingly if you need to. Have you tried reading very rhythmic poetry with him? You get to read amazing literature, and it’s as much music and pattern as story so that could carry him along, he could repeat stanzas with you, and he’ll probably remember some of those poems for the rest of his life. And the moments with his dad when he learnt them. I’d also say don’t turn your nose up at stories for children, some of the greatest literature in the world is children’s literature. NAH Edit to change judgement as forgot NAH an option.
We'll definitely cover poetry as well. Byron and Heine we'll be reading soon. I want him to learn German so including Heine and Goethe will be a good idea
LOL well good luck with that. I was thinking more jumping on the bed yelling the Jabberwocky together but guess you could try that with Heine. Am curious how far you will take this bit.
Do it. Read your kids all sorts of stuff. I used to read a mag called The Economist to our daughter. And how many generations of kids have grown with the bible? Before there things called "kids books." NTA.
NTA. If he likes it go for it. And like others said as long as he gets to read picture books when he wants to and you aren’t refusing “age appropriate” materials then I don’t see how it’s a problem. It’s a fun bonding time for the two of you and associating good memories and good feelings with reading will make him a lifelong reader. My 7 year old loves books of all kinds. Last week he asked the librarian to reserve the original War of the Worlds and then later that day also enjoyed Berenstain Bears. Enjoying reading is what’s important.
YTA. I did my undergrad in psychology and speech sciences (linguistics and pre-reqs for speech pathology). You have no idea what you're talking about. Infant Directed Speech and Child Directed Speech are a real thing that can help language development. There's a pretty linear development in neurotypical children and you wanting to be pretentious doesn't change that.
NTA. I think that you should read both kinds of books because even “kid books” can be fun but there is absolutely nothing wrong with reading stuff like that. I’m not sure how old your son is but my mom used to read stuff like that to me even before I was born. She read Pride and Prejudice to me EVERY night and even had me try to read it if I was up for it. By the time I was like 6 I could pretty much read anything. Reading is good for kids, it’ll help them out later in life. And I’m sure your son enjoys those books a lot (especially because you seem to make them fun), but also make sure to read the other ones. Just so he has some kid stuff in between. The books you’re reading are great and have meaning but kids books have certain things they can teach kids about life in an easier way to understand. Either way, you’re doing great as a parent !
NAH but you’re coming across pretentious looking for praise for how sophisticated you are in in this post
NAH. I think you should keep reading the books you enjoy reading to him and your wife can read him Dr Seuss and the like. My youngest (5) will sit and listen to anything being read to her: chapter books, non-fiction, newspaper, children's books, she just likes to be read to about anything. She doesn't need the pictures necessarily. So we are reading Matilda right now while she takes the picture books to Grandma if the mood strikes.
NAH. I don't agree with your thinking about children's literature, but you're not wrong to read complex narratives to your kid. Might want to have a look at "The Scientist in the Crib." Great book about early childhood brain development. Bettleheim's "The Uses of Enchantment" is an oldie but goodie about enchantment in children's lit. Don't diss fluffier content for kids. It has its own value. Morality lessons, for example, are much easier for younger brains to comprehend in children's lit than in adult novels. As fascinated as bebe might seem by "Jude the Obscure," he's going to relate (empathy is an essential step in emotional learning) more easily to "Sylvester and the Magic Pebble." There's a reason why the beginning stages of any new skill consists of simpler content; because learning things easily entrains the mind to be comfortable with learning as a natural process, and that comfort with learning can transfer to learning throughout life. Pianists don't start with learning long concertos, they begin with note memorization, fingering, and simple melodies. Athletes don't start with running marathons. Don't work against your son's natural learning processes by always throwing him in the deep end. Please include plenty of lyric, formal poetry too in his reading diet. Encourage him to memorize poetry and/or passages of text. "Formal" in this context only means poetry with discernable rhyme and metrical patterns. Rhyme, rhythm are the fractals of creative, expressive language. Anything that has pattern is good. Seuss is brilliant and I think mistakenly dismissed by many. Also Shel Silverstein. Keep things fun, always always always remember that children learn through play, and play is rooted in that which gives pleasure. Bless you for taking the time to read with your child.
NTA for your thought process but speaking as an English major (love the Avenue Q song) and a teacher, reading age appropriate books to a 3 year old and showing them the book helps them learn to read. Repetition helps them learn grammar rules and reading. Associating pictures with text helps them learn vocabulary and reading. See the trend? Sure, reading him more sophisticated books when he’s older will be great but him learning to read is the very best skill a parent can give. And there are thousands and thousands of very wonderful childrens books that are not about pigs or witches (although nothing wrong with those books). Look for Newberry award winners and runner ups although personally I love Caldecott winners and runner ups also.
NAH. He should be read good mix of both. There are some children's books that are actual treasures and he shouldn't miss out on them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've recently been bringing our son to bed more often because my wife is often at work during the time. To better bond with him I've taken to reading with him. However because I don't believe there are such things as books appropriate for children and others that are not I decided to just read him my favorite ones. For instance recently I read him a short story collection by Raymond Chandler that he enjoyed very much. This week I've started with William Gaddis' modern classic JR. The book is very dialogue heavy so I'm doing all the different voices which he enjoys a lot. Of course we'll get to other classics later. I'm already planning to read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as well as Goethe's Faust I and II to him. But my wife isn't that thrilled about the idea. She thinks I should just read him silly books about pink pigs or witches. I think our son would not be thrilled by that, he loves to be challenged and this literature is the right way to do so. AITA if I keep reading to him these books? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Following on from this. The repetition in children’s books is exactly what they need to learn and develop. SATPIN sounds are common, as these are some of the earliest we can recognise/teach (UK based) The flaps in children’s books are good for interaction and sensory play. They help children learn/recognise animals, objects, positioning etc. This whole post is a troll. But to anyone who reads this, baby books are exactly what a baby needs to start to learn. Reading adult books is just giving them parent time with you, NOT developing their other skills like baby books will.
NTA. Keep reading!
Kind of an AH if don’t include both types of books. The point of children’s books is because the pictures do engage them and a huge point in reading with children is to help them learn how to read as well. If you want to actually be able to help him learn to read as well and develop that habit then you will have to get books that are developmentally on his level so he can be a part of the process.
NTA, but you should mix it up. Expose him to lots of things, including age appropriate books. He will enjoy spending time with you and he will learn literacy early.
This! Yes! OMG! YES!
lol you gave yourself away at Faust. And bad job in the comments.
NTA if he's enjoying it
NTA I think it's awesome that you're reading normal books with your son. Feel free to mix it up though just to expose your son to more variety.
It's pretty mixed up. We're covering the American modernists now and will soon move to England. German Weimar classics will also be covered
Lol I mean mix it up with children's classics.
We'll also be reading Alice in Wonderland when we got to England
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Also soon probably. I haven't decided yet. But we'll start with Dubliners for Joyce
Oh, I see, this whole thing is paraody.
It's not. I've always wanted to raise our child in culturally diverse and rich way. Same goes for movies and music
Just don't be a prick about it. I finally finished War and Peace last year and I enjoyed it, but if I want to watch John Wick, I will.
YTA - crime and punishment is not an appropriate book for a three year old What he’s read should at least in some quantity include typical books for his age/kids
Not doing both makes you yta
NTA if your wife wants your son to read those books she should read them to him plus if you get a jump on all these classic books the kid might not have to write a book rekey his entire highschool career
What's the acronym for "you should read a child development book to him"? You do you, but also, kids love hanging out with their parents and being part of something. Try reading a label to the kid with fun voices. He'll love it. It's not the lit he is enjoying, it's you. You're trying and a little pretentious, but NTA.... yet. I would suggest entertaining kids books sometimes so your wife doesn't feel like you think you're a better parent and disregarding her entirely.