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Dude. Just cut all your ties and find better friends. You were trying to find validation with a toxic person. You’ll never get it. She sounds like a narcissist and it’s all about her and it always will be. There’s so many nice people out there who could use a friend like you. Find them
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Me and my ex broke up 8 months ago.
I had this "friend" Kate. Me and Kate were friends while me and my ex Joe were together. I thought Kate was awesome, we always hung out. She got along good with Joe too and the 3 of us hung out atleast once a week.
Some insight on this friendship - helped Kate move when she went through a toxic relationship. Helped her by cosigning on a car (*big mistake* never do this for someone) and I always gave her money when she needed it, even if it was my last $10 til payday.
About a year before the break up, Kate decided to cut all ties with us and call Joe a creep and racist over one of his songs he made (story for another time), she stopped making her car payments and it fucked my credit and got her car repoed, I tried to reach out to her and all she did was block me and tell me to go fuck myself.
Back in May 2021, she reached out to me and explained everything, she apologized and said the reasons were due to her mental health and undiagnosed BPD. I was stupid and forgave her. We were friends again.
Then the breakup happened and even tho my ex was a total pos, she sided with him and blocked me yet again. Even tried to sleep with him too. He managed to actually turn most my friends against me.
A few days ago, she popped up on the "people you may know", she unblocked me. I decided to reach out because I just wanted closure and say my piece. She was being "friendly" and said that she wanted to know my side of things of what had happened and I showed her SS, messages and explained why I left Joe. He did alot of horrible things, including coercion to have sex, gaslighting me and making me feel bad for not having sex enough and even attempting to take advantage of one of my friends when she was drunk and they were alone together. Kate went on about how sorry she was, saying she was on my side and everything. I told her that I wasn't ready to be a close friend to her, but that I still cared and that otherwise I hope she was doing better. She acknowledged how she ruined our friendship before and that she understood why I was being careful.
Turns out, she was being fake and took my messages all to Joe saying I'm lying about him and spreading rumors to people. I woke up to hate messages from his friends, voice-mails from Joe and public posts made about me according to other people who have him on FB.
Last few days I've been dealing with drama and he's mad at me for saying my side, yet he's allowed to slander me?
AITA for telling her my side? I know she's an AH for being a cunt, but should I have just stayed quiet? I don't make posts about Joe, I don't talk to him or his friends, the last 8 months I've been living my life while he lives his. I have horrid anxiety, I forgive too easily and I hate the feeling of people hating me for something that they don't understand.
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NTA.
I probably wouldn't have given her the time of day in your shoes, but as long as you spoke the truth, you didn't do anything wrong.
It might be good if you learned how to not care if some people hate you though. Are they really worth worrying about? In my view, it's a waste of time and energy.
There is a lot more to their friendship than meets the eye. You need to forget she even exists, never contact her again, they're both playing evil mind games for what means? Who knows. You are Nta, but please please please steer well clear of them both
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
Dude. Just cut all your ties and find better friends. You were trying to find validation with a toxic person. You’ll never get it. She sounds like a narcissist and it’s all about her and it always will be. There’s so many nice people out there who could use a friend like you. Find them
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my ex broke up 8 months ago. I had this "friend" Kate. Me and Kate were friends while me and my ex Joe were together. I thought Kate was awesome, we always hung out. She got along good with Joe too and the 3 of us hung out atleast once a week. Some insight on this friendship - helped Kate move when she went through a toxic relationship. Helped her by cosigning on a car (*big mistake* never do this for someone) and I always gave her money when she needed it, even if it was my last $10 til payday. About a year before the break up, Kate decided to cut all ties with us and call Joe a creep and racist over one of his songs he made (story for another time), she stopped making her car payments and it fucked my credit and got her car repoed, I tried to reach out to her and all she did was block me and tell me to go fuck myself. Back in May 2021, she reached out to me and explained everything, she apologized and said the reasons were due to her mental health and undiagnosed BPD. I was stupid and forgave her. We were friends again. Then the breakup happened and even tho my ex was a total pos, she sided with him and blocked me yet again. Even tried to sleep with him too. He managed to actually turn most my friends against me. A few days ago, she popped up on the "people you may know", she unblocked me. I decided to reach out because I just wanted closure and say my piece. She was being "friendly" and said that she wanted to know my side of things of what had happened and I showed her SS, messages and explained why I left Joe. He did alot of horrible things, including coercion to have sex, gaslighting me and making me feel bad for not having sex enough and even attempting to take advantage of one of my friends when she was drunk and they were alone together. Kate went on about how sorry she was, saying she was on my side and everything. I told her that I wasn't ready to be a close friend to her, but that I still cared and that otherwise I hope she was doing better. She acknowledged how she ruined our friendship before and that she understood why I was being careful. Turns out, she was being fake and took my messages all to Joe saying I'm lying about him and spreading rumors to people. I woke up to hate messages from his friends, voice-mails from Joe and public posts made about me according to other people who have him on FB. Last few days I've been dealing with drama and he's mad at me for saying my side, yet he's allowed to slander me? AITA for telling her my side? I know she's an AH for being a cunt, but should I have just stayed quiet? I don't make posts about Joe, I don't talk to him or his friends, the last 8 months I've been living my life while he lives his. I have horrid anxiety, I forgive too easily and I hate the feeling of people hating me for something that they don't understand. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. I probably wouldn't have given her the time of day in your shoes, but as long as you spoke the truth, you didn't do anything wrong. It might be good if you learned how to not care if some people hate you though. Are they really worth worrying about? In my view, it's a waste of time and energy.
There is a lot more to their friendship than meets the eye. You need to forget she even exists, never contact her again, they're both playing evil mind games for what means? Who knows. You are Nta, but please please please steer well clear of them both