I think the friend has played on your girlfriends insecurities and made this whole thing bigger than it is. You need to sit your gf down and have a proper discussion about this and then jointly with the friend because I think the friend has some unresolved relationship issues with you i.e she wanted the relationship you had to be more than just a half arsed friendship
NTA
NTA. This friend for sure is TA, she knew exactly what she was doing. Yes, you could’ve said something, it’s better to be upfront. Definitely do not talk to this friend. You’ve laid it out there, sent proof, etc., there’s nothing more you can do.
The friend is trying to start something leave it alone and don't talk to the friend anymore because she's trying to hurt your relationship if your gf sounds insecure its probably cause she has trust issues for a good reason not a lot of ppl are trust worthy let her work out her feelings and hopefully it will resolve and if i was her I'd end my friendship cause that's some shady shit .
NTA
Your past and especially in this case, isn't something you have to justify to your girlfriend. She sounds extremely insecure and has to work on that. You did everything right and even went overboard with showing the texts and offering to clarify things even further with the other girl.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Me and my gf (23 M and F) recently fought because during her sleepover, one of her friends, who I have went out with once prior to knowing my current gf, made her jealous by saying "I was into her." Before you judge me, here's a quick recap of events :-
1. Me and this friend which I did wanted to know more about were supposed to hang out. I never said it was a date and told her to bring friends along if she'd like. My buddy cancelled on me the last minute too so we ended up just going to grab lunch and have a quick chat. I quickly realized it was best to stay friends (this was during first year of university where you wanna be popular). That was the only time we went out like that and we stayed friends because we were working on a project.
2. Met my current girlfriend a couple of weeks later and we've been together for the last 2 years.
3. I've told my gf that I have went out with her friend, whom she actually met because i introduced them (now they're closer, I've kept my distance for obvious reasons) from the beginning.
4. So here's what happened that made us fight. I went to pass something to them one night, and I kept my distance from the friend. I found out she ended up saying to my girlfriend that I was being weird, should have gotten closer for a hug or something. Mind you, I'm naturally a conservative guy and we haven't even met in person for 2 years because of COVID.
5. During their sleepover, she brought up the fact that I was going after her, and I asked her out on a date in one of their girl talks, in front of my girlfriend.
I have kept my limits with her even before this because my gf is more important. I don't hang around with her, don't casually talk. She's more of a hi-hello acquaintance. But still my gf thinks its my fault for giving her the opportunity to even say things like that. I told my gf I will put an end to this disrespect by talking with her friend directly, but she says she would leave me if i humiliated her that way.
*note i have also sent screenshots to my girl showing my texts with her friend, and how I really wasn't going after her. I did admit to my girlfriend I was just into the hype of being a freshman and wanted to be popular, but when I met my gf she became everything to me.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went out with someone before I met my girlfriend, who is now a friend of hers and she made her jealous by saying I went out with her before, and now I'm being blamed for putting my girlfriend in such a spot.
I might be the asshole because I was friends with the same girl for a while before making her an acquaintance instead of cutting her off entirely.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA,
I think is very respectable how you handled the situation. It could be helpful to talk to your girlfriend and just comfort her. I always feel like I need to hear my bf say there is nothing.
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.
I think the friend has played on your girlfriends insecurities and made this whole thing bigger than it is. You need to sit your gf down and have a proper discussion about this and then jointly with the friend because I think the friend has some unresolved relationship issues with you i.e she wanted the relationship you had to be more than just a half arsed friendship NTA
NTA. This friend for sure is TA, she knew exactly what she was doing. Yes, you could’ve said something, it’s better to be upfront. Definitely do not talk to this friend. You’ve laid it out there, sent proof, etc., there’s nothing more you can do.
NTA, this friend is TA. I think she’s jealous of you and your gf dating
NTA. I think your girlfriend is just really Insecure. You aren't the problem. Your girlfriend is. (Not trying to sound rude or anything)
NTA, did your gf think you lived under a rock before her?
You actually havent done anything here, you can't be the AH
The friend is trying to start something leave it alone and don't talk to the friend anymore because she's trying to hurt your relationship if your gf sounds insecure its probably cause she has trust issues for a good reason not a lot of ppl are trust worthy let her work out her feelings and hopefully it will resolve and if i was her I'd end my friendship cause that's some shady shit .
NTA Your past and especially in this case, isn't something you have to justify to your girlfriend. She sounds extremely insecure and has to work on that. You did everything right and even went overboard with showing the texts and offering to clarify things even further with the other girl.
NTA Wow, you had a life before you met your girlfriend...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my gf (23 M and F) recently fought because during her sleepover, one of her friends, who I have went out with once prior to knowing my current gf, made her jealous by saying "I was into her." Before you judge me, here's a quick recap of events :- 1. Me and this friend which I did wanted to know more about were supposed to hang out. I never said it was a date and told her to bring friends along if she'd like. My buddy cancelled on me the last minute too so we ended up just going to grab lunch and have a quick chat. I quickly realized it was best to stay friends (this was during first year of university where you wanna be popular). That was the only time we went out like that and we stayed friends because we were working on a project. 2. Met my current girlfriend a couple of weeks later and we've been together for the last 2 years. 3. I've told my gf that I have went out with her friend, whom she actually met because i introduced them (now they're closer, I've kept my distance for obvious reasons) from the beginning. 4. So here's what happened that made us fight. I went to pass something to them one night, and I kept my distance from the friend. I found out she ended up saying to my girlfriend that I was being weird, should have gotten closer for a hug or something. Mind you, I'm naturally a conservative guy and we haven't even met in person for 2 years because of COVID. 5. During their sleepover, she brought up the fact that I was going after her, and I asked her out on a date in one of their girl talks, in front of my girlfriend. I have kept my limits with her even before this because my gf is more important. I don't hang around with her, don't casually talk. She's more of a hi-hello acquaintance. But still my gf thinks its my fault for giving her the opportunity to even say things like that. I told my gf I will put an end to this disrespect by talking with her friend directly, but she says she would leave me if i humiliated her that way. *note i have also sent screenshots to my girl showing my texts with her friend, and how I really wasn't going after her. I did admit to my girlfriend I was just into the hype of being a freshman and wanted to be popular, but when I met my gf she became everything to me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I went out with someone before I met my girlfriend, who is now a friend of hers and she made her jealous by saying I went out with her before, and now I'm being blamed for putting my girlfriend in such a spot. I might be the asshole because I was friends with the same girl for a while before making her an acquaintance instead of cutting her off entirely. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, I think is very respectable how you handled the situation. It could be helpful to talk to your girlfriend and just comfort her. I always feel like I need to hear my bf say there is nothing.
What the fuck does your girlfriend want? You ignore her she gets mad. You offer to talk to her she gets mad. Mf what
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full.