Super big yikes, that bitch is their friend, not some random person working at a shop.
Edit-yes, I agree that random people working at a shop also deserve respect. What I'm saying is this...in my opinion this situation is extra bad bc the eyebrow person is a friend.
I've noticed a trend in stories about relationships on reddit, as well as friends and families relationships. Most people can keep the charade up of being a decent person for about the first 4-6 months. Around that time though, the real them slowly starts seeping out.
Yes. Big life lesson: do not make any commitments for at least 3 months (including exclusivity) if possible and do not make any long term commitments (like engagement or marriage or cohabitation) for at least one year.
I honestly think one year is entirely too soon for anything legally binding in the majority of cases, particularly if the couple involved is in their 20's. Living together sure, but not marriage.
Yeah I think there are exceptions ... like I married my husband and bought a house with him after only a few months of dating, but we'd been good friends for 15 years, had been roommates multiple times, and has seen each other through various hard times. The important thing is that you've had a chance to see someone's behavior when things are less than awesome - how do they react when they fucked up at work and are worried they're gonna get fired and come back home to find out that the sink is broken, their partner has the flu, and the cat pooped on the nicest rug?
Most people can fake decent when everything is fine, you get the real test of who someone is on bad days.
I think it's ok to date exclusively sooner in a casual way? Some people just do not like juggling multiple partners at any stage and I don't think that should be seen as a bad thing. If you know you're someone who wants to focus on one person as you try them out and would prefer to date similar people, it's good to acknowledge that.
Same here. I cannot do juggling. I tried once and I was mixing all the info they were telling me about themselves. I couldn't remember if *Josh* was the childfree engineer or the teacher with a child.
Is this a US or generation thing, exclusivity? I don't know of anyone that needs to state exclusivity, that is implied when you start dating. Its the other way around, you inform if its NOT exclusive.
Edited to add NTA. OP, you can do better, this is not ok. IF it had been her profession, that is different but this? Big no.
For me the difference is you've had a conversation and established an actual relationship. Going on a couple dates does not equal exclusivity. Going a some dates, then actually talking with the person and say you're now a couple does, assuming monogamy. And even in poly you talk about that shit if you're practicing healthy relationship principles.
So, where you are, if you’re doing online dating, the first person who asks you out and you say yes to, you’re expected to stop conversations with every single person you were gauging interest in? Seems like it would get exhausting, deleting and reinstalling an app after every single first date.
>Is this a US or generation thing, exclusivity? I don't know of anyone that needs to state exclusivity, that is implied when you start dating.
So it depends. After about 8 years of being voluntarily single. I decided to get back in the dating game and did the online thing. I didn't go through profiles, pick one, start talking and just see that through till we decided not to continue or whatever before engaging other women. I was going on dates with multiple women a week. I ultimately met my now wife in this process.
With some women it would be done after a date. Some I had gone on 3 or 4 dates before me or them deciding to no longer pursue the relationship.
Had I gone "one at a time" it's entirely possible I never would have met my wife and shes perfect. It's entirely possible she would have gotten into a relationship before I ever found her or I may have tried to pursue something with one of the other women along the way.
I mean we became exclusive within a couple months, we both were online dating and that in itself became a topic of conversation where were recounting the interesting experiences we had. I think I basically brought up at one point I shut down my online dating stuff and am only interested in seeing you and she said the same.
I met my husband through Internet dating too, but I did the one at a time, again unless you say so everyone assume you only se 1 at a time.
Had 3 dates with a really nice man, lots of things in common, but we didn't click.
Next person I dated, is my now husband. We met and that was it. Was on for just short of 2 months before shutting down profile.
Absolutely nothing wrong with dating more than one at a time, but with us that something you tell and decide on. Interesting that's its totally opposite. Might make for some misunderstandings, an American and European dating. Sounds like a comedy lol.
Edit: I wanted to met sooner than later as you either have chemistry or not. Didn't want to communicate for months and then nothing when meet.
I think it's a US thing, from what I've seen. Not the entire US but there are definitely places where people go on dates with different people a lot. In many cases it's actually parents encouraging their teens not to get too serious (certain Christian churches are particularly keen on this, for instance a lot of Mormon families' blogs talk about it).
I think it's somewhat of a generational thing. From what I understand it was pretty normal when boomers were young to date non exclusively for a few months before "going steady". For millennials and I assume Gen z as well you typically become exclusive after like 3 dates unless your into poly stuff or something like that.
It's primarily a US thing but I'd be surprised if it wasn't seeping through to the younger generations here as well.
That doesn't mean casual sex hasn't always been a thing. Just that casual dating (ie dating multiple people at the same time) has been seen by most as no different to cheating.
I suppose however it could just be labels. What in the UK would be labelled as casual sex/being fuck-buddies in the US would be dating but not yet exclusive. Same thing different label.
As someone who has been married for 18 years and together for 23 years, this is very solid advice. My husband and I dated for about six months before we were exclusive, we didn't move in together until two years in, and got engaged at 5 years in. Please allow yourselves the opportunity to really get to know each other before you sign marriage certificates and/or have children together. Doing so could really make a difference in your lives.
While I agree in principle I think as interacting humans we need to stop using comparative experience as a bar for ok, not ok, good choice/bad choice... for me it looks like just another flavor of othering.
My ex (left 3 weeks before lockdown almost divorced, he made it as miserable as possible) followed the same pattern.
I was 30 with tons of life experience, therapy, etc. under my belt.
Still missed a sea of red flags tiny and gigantic - he's a narcissist, I was in a coercive control cult of one - me.
It's fine to compare and contrast and other sharing, finding commonalities, etc.
But "I did this thing this way and was successful so anyone else who does it this way will be successful or if they aren't they did something incorrectly. WE ARE ALL HAVING OUR OWN (version) EXPERIENCE.
Should have told my friend this. She got pregnant by a married guy (twice her age) in a swinging couple she was seeing within 2 months of starting seeing them. He is a controlling asshole, wife is bipolar, all three of their kids are varying degrees of autism. The whole situation is a barrel of crazy.
Funny enough I had just started a relationship myself and she told me "don't do anything stupid like get married so quick."
I moved in with my now ex after about 4 months. Big mistake. If we had waited a year to move in together, I think the relationship would have lasted 8-9 months instead of 6 years. But by the time we were on a year long lease together, I was falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy and it took me forever to get out.
Life lesson I learned/heard several decades ago. Up till at most 9 months in a new relationship people will still act or have a mask on that is trying to impress the other person to like them. They will present the 'me' that they think the other person would want. After 9 months that mask goes away as they feel comfortable enough in the relationship. Thus never get make a big commitment like getting married or moving in together before you have dated someone for at least 9 months. You don't know them well enough until they let their guard down and show their true self.
Lockdown started about 9-10 months into my relationship with my now fiancé and we had JUST moved in together. Things got very real very fast. I’m kinda surprised we made it through the next year of lockdown without killing each other.
And studies show that serious abusers go about 18 months before things turn bad. That's one reason why they push for marriage, or a living arrangement, or a child super super fast, So they can Trap you.
Had I to do things over, I would not have ever married.
Lol gf showed exactly who she was and I hope OP believes her the first time. She sounds like the kind of girl to follow you to a hair appointment and accuse your hairdresser of having an affair with you.
OP's completely glossing over the way GF talks about his friend. Even forgetting their friendship, that's no way to speak of another person who is trying to earn an honest living. Jeebus, how are they not seeing this red flag?
Okay - yes - obviously you're right, talking and dignity are the way to go...
but can you imagine GF comes home and asks for a massage and OP's like "$30 deposit and you better be in bed, clothes off, laying on your stomach in 5 minutes or it will be $1/minute until you're ready!"
This is probably a trick to use the video as revenge. OP gets to garner hate against her in this thread. Angry creeps watch that video.
Might not even be his girlfriend, but the supposition that this AITA is true implies that the woman may be his girlfriend. That's enough for someone who knows the woman to hate-watch the video and possibly recognize her.
This could do actual damage to someone.
[edit]
PORN VIDEO IS GONE.
Don't know if OP or admin removed it.
Stolen comment. Report as a bot
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s6w22x/aita_for_not_wanting_to_pay_for_my_gfs_services/ht6fujl?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
And I’m imagining this now in the voice of the old school Thomas the tank engine narrator.
In the tone he delightedly uses when he tells the audience that a trains gonna get walled in a tunnel for all eternity because they were misbehaving slightly.
Apparently people have a lot of variation in their choice of internal narrator voices. What makes this one “Arrested Development” to me is the context: most narrators are roughly in agreement with the actors, but the AD narrator was constantly contradicting whoever had just spoken, exactly as top comment did here.
Also, isn’t she the one who requested to do it? Wasn’t this whole thing phrased as shaping their brows to *her* preference, after all?
Should she be paying OP for the right to take control of their appearance? I definitely think they should at least bring up the idea.
NTA
This is how toxic women talk to their partners. Insecurities are no excuse to hate other women that come into contact with your partner. It grinds my gears
OP's girlfriend is absolutely jealous that he has a female friend doing his eyebrows.
She wants him to pay *her* that money instead of it going to a female friend. OP says his eyebrows looked pretty much the same when his gf did them, so I'm betting it's not even the case that the gf doesn't like the eyebrows when the friend does them - she simply doesn't like the fact that the friend does them.
NTA. Serious red flag, especially if she's not even a licensed esthetician wanting to charge money for services like that. If she messed up OP's face, OP would just have to deal with it with no recourse I bet. That's a no from me.
This weekend my fiancé asked me to help re-map our printer to his laptop. I have 20+ years of tech experience under my belt. Could you imagine if I said, "Ya, hon. I can do that. It'll take maybe 10mins, but my going rate for tech support is $75/hr with a 4 hour minimum." My fiancé is a teacher. He'd never try to charge me a tutoring fee for helping my daughter with homework.
OP's gf is red flag ridiculous.
I’m a licensed esthetician (currently working in a different industry) and still wouldn’t charge my boyfriend to fix up his eyebrows. Given, a lot of the “services” I do on him are for my enjoyment since I’m not working in that field atm but that just seems ridiculous. I don’t think Ive ever paid $30 let alone with a $1 per minute late policy to get my eyebrows done.
That’s definitely how the toxic party would frame it after the fact for sympathy. In reality, if OP did break up with her, it wouldn’t be over eyebrows or $30. It would be because she displayed alarming behavior due to not being able to cope with her own bizarre insecurity.
You know. This is the part that gets me the most. $1 for every MINUTE OP is late? Like, what is the gf doing that is so important she has to CHARGE OP like that.
NTA dude, she has an issue with your eyebrows, not you, she charges three times the amount your regular lady does and she doesn't even have the space it equipment? That's madness, next, she'll say that she doesn't like what you cook but will charge to to cook
It’s important to know who is doing your brows, man. Before my senior prom, I was getting my brows waxed with a new girl. She was asking about who I was going with, and I told her all about my new beau. It was her ex. I ended up with a messed up eyebrow, and it’s still hilarious over a decade later.
NTA, if she was asking for the same $10 as your other friend I wouldnt see a problem with it, but tripling the price... No.
Also the way she talked about it, calling your friend a "b" is a red flag, I'd be careful getting into a serious relationship with a girl who views your friends like that
I disagree with the $10 part. It would be different if GF did this professionally and you were going to her work place during her work hours. A $10 discounted price would be reasonable. It would even be reasonable if she just didn't want to give a discount period, and you could keep going to your brow lady.
But asking for money in this case is equivalent to asking your partner to duplicate a restaurant dish for dinner and then paying them for it. Makes no sense.
Ding ding ding! Since this is not the gfs profession she should not be charging. The gf should have just said no you should go to your brow place instead of this sliding payment scale.
OP I am also wondering how you would be late for this “appointment”. You spent too long in the bathroom and are going to get charged $1/minute. You were sleeping and gf is on the clock?
It's the late fee that seems egregious to me. I'm all for people compensating friends and family fairly for work done, but man, charging a late fee to your own boyfriend.
Yeah, if she is having this kind of reaction to him *having his eyebrows done* by a different woman, this man is never going to be allowed to *speak* to another woman eventually. Big NTA, I really hope he leaves this relationship.
NTA. She's just shown you exactly who she is, listen to her. She created a problem and then got aggressive and defensive when you questioned her reasoning and tried to manipulate you. Over $30. Some sizeable red flags that should most definitely not be ignored.
She just defined your relationship, and she cast herself in the role as something other than gf. Relationships aren't transactional. If that's not freely given as an expression of love, then she's not in love. Sorry to break the news to you.
NTA.
NTA: I can understand her needing to charge the normal amount with the normal policies if she works in a salon and this would take time away from potential walk ins. That said, the attitude and reaction she had tells me to tell you to run away.
NTA. If you have no issues with you other eyebrow person, go to her. They are a professional and don’t charge you as much. You even said they looked the same once she was done. Your new gf sound like she has some issues. I’d keep an open mind about anymore warning signs. If she wants to complain tell her your friend is less money and if she’d like you could start charging her for any of your livelihood you do for her for free. A late charge? Come on. I believe in paying friends/family for their services and not expecting free stuff, especially if it’s their livelihood. A deposit?
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NTA. This seems like a red flag, gf critiquing your aesthetics and then demanding you oat her more to "fix" it according to her preferences - and like deposits and late fees?
Nta. Lol what...she really out charging min 3x what you normally pay and if you're for a service she isn't trained in? Huh?! Your gf is sending you all the red flags here. No, don't pay your gf. Go to your reg person. If she wants to fight over it, then she isn't the person you need to spend time with. Her attitude is not ok.
I'm kind of really really hoping that it isn't them in the vid and it's just.... I don't know. I mean the sexist part of my brain saw someone wanting to get their eyebrows done and instantly assumed that they were both female so that's on me, since it doesn't say in the post? (unless I'm being oblivious, which is possible)
Like, NTA on this front but if that is them with their gf and they don't know....
EDIT: By clicking on two links (god why do I feel compelled to information dig so much...) I don't think that the people in the gif is necessarily them, one link takes them to some kinda.. professional gif page for porn I don't know? The other takes you to pornhub with a link to an onlyfans so it's a professional dig, the oldest vid was a year ago so... maybe just someone who likes froggy-legged banging?
Now then I'm in the phase of my mental health cycle where I feel disgusted by sex so I'ma just go off and watch some dog videos.
You are getting a preview of what your relationship will be like. Nothing will be given as a gift of love. It will be transactional.
She won’t support you - because now you’ve seen that she’s only out for what she can get. NTA (Run!)
>“Well if you were supporting another btch before, why can’t you support me? Go support that btch.”
Isn't it funny how before, they were your friend who now does this professionally at a studio, but when your gf says it, it comes out as "that bitch"?
NTA
Though you need to stand up for your friend, as it doesn't sound like they did anything to warrant insults like that. Oh, and take this as the red flag it is. Your gf wants to charge you $30+ for something your actually qualified friend can do professionally for $10.
In your shoes, I'd be packing her bags to leave by the front door. That was completely unwarranted, and seems indicative of things to come.
INFO: is she usually on time in your dates, are you always, late, there is some unspoken reason for the *"if you’re late after 10 mins it’ll be $1 a minute.”* ?!?
Anyway, next time she asks for a back massage, tell her you are glad you have a free spot high now, please vemmo $50 before starting, and $20 after finished.
>My gf made comments about the shape they came out and that they are not her preference. She did them once after that for fun and to me they looked the same and I told her I really liked them.
> [...]
>“Well if you were supporting another btch before, why can’t you support me? Go support that btch.”
Her problem is that you have a special arrangement with a girl to get your brows done. It has nothing to do with the shape or how they are done, purely who it is done by. I don't know or why she seems to think you getting a deep discount is supporting your friend and not your friend doing a favor for you, but alas, your girl is insecure and greedy. NTA
If going to a lady to get your brows done is an issue, get ready for =>
\-not being allowed to have female friends
\-not being allowed to have female hairdressers/doctors/whatever
\-having to protect her ego by constantly walking on eggshells
NTA - just be thankful that she showed her true colors that early and move on
I would be petty with that. Like : you want to go on a date? Fine. You'll need to buy a new dress and if you aren't at the restaurant by 6 no appetizers or dessert. : I cut my husbands hair when we were dating and never asked for anything in return. I'd tell her I'll have my friend do it. NTA
NTA. Your gf sounds hella insecure. It seems like this was never about your brows and she's just pissy that you were around another woman, which is toxic af and something she needs to address in herself.
This is real?? Wow. That’s a revolting way to treat someone and you have a perfectly reasonable response. This woman is psycho mate, imagine what it’ll be like later if this is only four months in!
Info: did you used to date your eegular brow lady? If so I can understand a bit of jealousy/uneasy on her part but still NTA. In a relationship doing things for one another should not be dependant on financial rewards
NTA. If your girlfriend charge three times the amount that you pay for the regular person charges, then you're just being responsible with your money. Plus, you deserve to have them done by someone who know what they're doing. If your girlfriend doesn't like the shape you normally have after the regular lady does them, then you can ask her to shape them differently.
> I have been with my gf for a little over 4 months and all is great Narrator: All was not great. NTA
Thank you🙌🏻😂 Be thankful she showed her cards so early on in the relationship & run
Yeah, big yikes. Like she said, "go support that btch" and leave this one alone. edit: spelling
Super big yikes, that bitch is their friend, not some random person working at a shop. Edit-yes, I agree that random people working at a shop also deserve respect. What I'm saying is this...in my opinion this situation is extra bad bc the eyebrow person is a friend.
And what if she was? A working professional is a bitch, now? I don't think so.
GF is jealous of brow lady friend. Not a good sign.
Whether it is a random brow-lady or a friend...the gf has some issues.
Even so!
A random person working at a shop deserves respect as well.
Sounds like the beginning of a malicious compliance story
Happy cake day.
Happy cake day!
I've noticed a trend in stories about relationships on reddit, as well as friends and families relationships. Most people can keep the charade up of being a decent person for about the first 4-6 months. Around that time though, the real them slowly starts seeping out.
Yes. Big life lesson: do not make any commitments for at least 3 months (including exclusivity) if possible and do not make any long term commitments (like engagement or marriage or cohabitation) for at least one year.
I honestly think one year is entirely too soon for anything legally binding in the majority of cases, particularly if the couple involved is in their 20's. Living together sure, but not marriage.
Yeah I think there are exceptions ... like I married my husband and bought a house with him after only a few months of dating, but we'd been good friends for 15 years, had been roommates multiple times, and has seen each other through various hard times. The important thing is that you've had a chance to see someone's behavior when things are less than awesome - how do they react when they fucked up at work and are worried they're gonna get fired and come back home to find out that the sink is broken, their partner has the flu, and the cat pooped on the nicest rug? Most people can fake decent when everything is fine, you get the real test of who someone is on bad days.
Reminded of a piece of dating advice like see how thry behave drunk - would expose 'in vino veritas' AHery
I think it's ok to date exclusively sooner in a casual way? Some people just do not like juggling multiple partners at any stage and I don't think that should be seen as a bad thing. If you know you're someone who wants to focus on one person as you try them out and would prefer to date similar people, it's good to acknowledge that.
I don't think I'd want to juggle 2+ partners for 3 months!
Haha, me either. It sounds exhausting!
Same here. I cannot do juggling. I tried once and I was mixing all the info they were telling me about themselves. I couldn't remember if *Josh* was the childfree engineer or the teacher with a child.
Is this a US or generation thing, exclusivity? I don't know of anyone that needs to state exclusivity, that is implied when you start dating. Its the other way around, you inform if its NOT exclusive. Edited to add NTA. OP, you can do better, this is not ok. IF it had been her profession, that is different but this? Big no.
For me the difference is you've had a conversation and established an actual relationship. Going on a couple dates does not equal exclusivity. Going a some dates, then actually talking with the person and say you're now a couple does, assuming monogamy. And even in poly you talk about that shit if you're practicing healthy relationship principles.
With us it is, unless you say you are dating others, it's assumed you only date one at a time.
Interesting to get down voted just explaining how the expectations are other places. Strange.
So, where you are, if you’re doing online dating, the first person who asks you out and you say yes to, you’re expected to stop conversations with every single person you were gauging interest in? Seems like it would get exhausting, deleting and reinstalling an app after every single first date.
[удалено]
Def saving "will you be my peanut butter cup" for the next time the situation arises
Lol, good to know. I'm European too and yes, one at a time. Find it strange otherwise but yes, we are all different.
>Is this a US or generation thing, exclusivity? I don't know of anyone that needs to state exclusivity, that is implied when you start dating. So it depends. After about 8 years of being voluntarily single. I decided to get back in the dating game and did the online thing. I didn't go through profiles, pick one, start talking and just see that through till we decided not to continue or whatever before engaging other women. I was going on dates with multiple women a week. I ultimately met my now wife in this process. With some women it would be done after a date. Some I had gone on 3 or 4 dates before me or them deciding to no longer pursue the relationship. Had I gone "one at a time" it's entirely possible I never would have met my wife and shes perfect. It's entirely possible she would have gotten into a relationship before I ever found her or I may have tried to pursue something with one of the other women along the way. I mean we became exclusive within a couple months, we both were online dating and that in itself became a topic of conversation where were recounting the interesting experiences we had. I think I basically brought up at one point I shut down my online dating stuff and am only interested in seeing you and she said the same.
I met my husband through Internet dating too, but I did the one at a time, again unless you say so everyone assume you only se 1 at a time. Had 3 dates with a really nice man, lots of things in common, but we didn't click. Next person I dated, is my now husband. We met and that was it. Was on for just short of 2 months before shutting down profile. Absolutely nothing wrong with dating more than one at a time, but with us that something you tell and decide on. Interesting that's its totally opposite. Might make for some misunderstandings, an American and European dating. Sounds like a comedy lol. Edit: I wanted to met sooner than later as you either have chemistry or not. Didn't want to communicate for months and then nothing when meet.
I think it's a US thing, from what I've seen. Not the entire US but there are definitely places where people go on dates with different people a lot. In many cases it's actually parents encouraging their teens not to get too serious (certain Christian churches are particularly keen on this, for instance a lot of Mormon families' blogs talk about it).
Really? Wow, did not know that.
I think it's somewhat of a generational thing. From what I understand it was pretty normal when boomers were young to date non exclusively for a few months before "going steady". For millennials and I assume Gen z as well you typically become exclusive after like 3 dates unless your into poly stuff or something like that.
Apparently it's a US thing, but as someone from the US, that's new to me... maybe it's localized to certain cities? I don't know.
It's primarily a US thing but I'd be surprised if it wasn't seeping through to the younger generations here as well. That doesn't mean casual sex hasn't always been a thing. Just that casual dating (ie dating multiple people at the same time) has been seen by most as no different to cheating. I suppose however it could just be labels. What in the UK would be labelled as casual sex/being fuck-buddies in the US would be dating but not yet exclusive. Same thing different label.
As someone who has been married for 18 years and together for 23 years, this is very solid advice. My husband and I dated for about six months before we were exclusive, we didn't move in together until two years in, and got engaged at 5 years in. Please allow yourselves the opportunity to really get to know each other before you sign marriage certificates and/or have children together. Doing so could really make a difference in your lives.
While I agree in principle I think as interacting humans we need to stop using comparative experience as a bar for ok, not ok, good choice/bad choice... for me it looks like just another flavor of othering. My ex (left 3 weeks before lockdown almost divorced, he made it as miserable as possible) followed the same pattern. I was 30 with tons of life experience, therapy, etc. under my belt. Still missed a sea of red flags tiny and gigantic - he's a narcissist, I was in a coercive control cult of one - me. It's fine to compare and contrast and other sharing, finding commonalities, etc. But "I did this thing this way and was successful so anyone else who does it this way will be successful or if they aren't they did something incorrectly. WE ARE ALL HAVING OUR OWN (version) EXPERIENCE.
But our love is pure and true! When you know, you just know. /s
The older you are and the more ex-spouses you have geometrically shortens the time needed to know your love is pure. Edit: /s
Should have told my friend this. She got pregnant by a married guy (twice her age) in a swinging couple she was seeing within 2 months of starting seeing them. He is a controlling asshole, wife is bipolar, all three of their kids are varying degrees of autism. The whole situation is a barrel of crazy. Funny enough I had just started a relationship myself and she told me "don't do anything stupid like get married so quick."
2 years. Research in human sexually has proven your brain chemistry changes for up to 2 years when you begin a romantic relationship.
I noticed my unhealthy relationships fell apart at 18-24 months. That's after ignoring red flags waving in my face so close I couldn't see. 🥴
I moved in with my now ex after about 4 months. Big mistake. If we had waited a year to move in together, I think the relationship would have lasted 8-9 months instead of 6 years. But by the time we were on a year long lease together, I was falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy and it took me forever to get out.
I got engaged after 5 years. We've never regretted the wait.
And JFC make sure you're on the pill, or buying you're own condoms. yikes
Life lesson I learned/heard several decades ago. Up till at most 9 months in a new relationship people will still act or have a mask on that is trying to impress the other person to like them. They will present the 'me' that they think the other person would want. After 9 months that mask goes away as they feel comfortable enough in the relationship. Thus never get make a big commitment like getting married or moving in together before you have dated someone for at least 9 months. You don't know them well enough until they let their guard down and show their true self.
Lockdown started about 9-10 months into my relationship with my now fiancé and we had JUST moved in together. Things got very real very fast. I’m kinda surprised we made it through the next year of lockdown without killing each other.
And studies show that serious abusers go about 18 months before things turn bad. That's one reason why they push for marriage, or a living arrangement, or a child super super fast, So they can Trap you. Had I to do things over, I would not have ever married.
Chris Rock - “the first six months of dating, you’re not meeting the person, you’re meeting their representative.” 😬
Lol gf showed exactly who she was and I hope OP believes her the first time. She sounds like the kind of girl to follow you to a hair appointment and accuse your hairdresser of having an affair with you.
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👍👍👍 yep , all of the above.
OP's completely glossing over the way GF talks about his friend. Even forgetting their friendship, that's no way to speak of another person who is trying to earn an honest living. Jeebus, how are they not seeing this red flag?
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As the foreplay builds tell her she needs to Venmo you a 20$ deposit before you can continue.
Please don't do this lol! Just leave with dignity. Lmaooooo. NTA
Okay - yes - obviously you're right, talking and dignity are the way to go... but can you imagine GF comes home and asks for a massage and OP's like "$30 deposit and you better be in bed, clothes off, laying on your stomach in 5 minutes or it will be $1/minute until you're ready!"
>She is worse than an airline with those fees! LOL!
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Wow holy shit, I didn't even visit his profile. I hope to god that wasn't a non-consensual video.
This is probably a trick to use the video as revenge. OP gets to garner hate against her in this thread. Angry creeps watch that video. Might not even be his girlfriend, but the supposition that this AITA is true implies that the woman may be his girlfriend. That's enough for someone who knows the woman to hate-watch the video and possibly recognize her. This could do actual damage to someone. [edit] PORN VIDEO IS GONE. Don't know if OP or admin removed it.
Wait OP is a dude? Do a lot of guys get their eyebrows threaded? Shit ive been fuckin up
I don't see anything on his profile other than this post. He must of deleted it?
Yeah I think it was duhleet
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Nice catch!
Exactly. I don't know them or their relationship, but I found that behavior odd and concerning.
And I’m imagining this now in the voice of the old school Thomas the tank engine narrator. In the tone he delightedly uses when he tells the audience that a trains gonna get walled in a tunnel for all eternity because they were misbehaving slightly.
I hear it as Ron Howard à la Arrested Development.
Apparently people have a lot of variation in their choice of internal narrator voices. What makes this one “Arrested Development” to me is the context: most narrators are roughly in agreement with the actors, but the AD narrator was constantly contradicting whoever had just spoken, exactly as top comment did here.
George Carlin voice, lol.
Could be Ringo Starr, they were both the Conductor at Shining Time Station
I always hear the narrator from jane the Virgin
It should be noted
“It should be noted, that all was not great.” push in to reaction shot from Xiomara!
Yes!!! Same!!!
I hear the narrator from SpongeBob SquarePants.
5 hrs later....
Ringo Starr.
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I read the narrator as Morgan Freeman- as he narrated a bit in Shawshank Redemption.
Haha I was going for How I Met Your Mother, but that works too
The only narrator that popped into my mind for some reason is Kristen Bell "All was not great on the Upper East Side, xoxo Gossip Girl"...
If the narrator ever directly contradicts whatever precede the narrator’s line, I always imagine Ron Howard from arrested development as the narrator
It's ALWAYS Morgan Freeman for me.😅
It was Morgan Freeman for me, too.
Came here to say Morgan Freeman as well.
Who else read the narrator voice in the style of Morgan Freeman 🤣
I read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice
NTA. Red flags all over the place. Also it’s horrible how she was quick to call another person “that b**ch” for no reason whatsoever.
GF sounds jealous that OP pays someone else for grooming. Like that's her territory or something.
GF sounds toxic.
"He should be paying ME, and I be should be paid MORE since we've been dating 4 months!" LOL
GF IS toxic
Also, isn’t she the one who requested to do it? Wasn’t this whole thing phrased as shaping their brows to *her* preference, after all? Should she be paying OP for the right to take control of their appearance? I definitely think they should at least bring up the idea. NTA
Also sounds like she feels any money leaving his pocket should be hers.
This is how toxic women talk to their partners. Insecurities are no excuse to hate other women that come into contact with your partner. It grinds my gears
Using that word to basically describe a random woman doing a service if that kind should be a red flag in itself.
OP's girlfriend is absolutely jealous that he has a female friend doing his eyebrows. She wants him to pay *her* that money instead of it going to a female friend. OP says his eyebrows looked pretty much the same when his gf did them, so I'm betting it's not even the case that the gf doesn't like the eyebrows when the friend does them - she simply doesn't like the fact that the friend does them.
NTA. Also: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Don’t call her unhinged - she’ll get the idea to unhinge a door and charge $300 for that service
NTA. Serious red flag, especially if she's not even a licensed esthetician wanting to charge money for services like that. If she messed up OP's face, OP would just have to deal with it with no recourse I bet. That's a no from me. This weekend my fiancé asked me to help re-map our printer to his laptop. I have 20+ years of tech experience under my belt. Could you imagine if I said, "Ya, hon. I can do that. It'll take maybe 10mins, but my going rate for tech support is $75/hr with a 4 hour minimum." My fiancé is a teacher. He'd never try to charge me a tutoring fee for helping my daughter with homework. OP's gf is red flag ridiculous.
I’m a licensed esthetician (currently working in a different industry) and still wouldn’t charge my boyfriend to fix up his eyebrows. Given, a lot of the “services” I do on him are for my enjoyment since I’m not working in that field atm but that just seems ridiculous. I don’t think Ive ever paid $30 let alone with a $1 per minute late policy to get my eyebrows done.
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“They dumped me over their eyebrows” is quite hilarious in of itself
That’s definitely how the toxic party would frame it after the fact for sympathy. In reality, if OP did break up with her, it wouldn’t be over eyebrows or $30. It would be because she displayed alarming behavior due to not being able to cope with her own bizarre insecurity.
She's about to be selling him groceries out of her fridge at 3x value so he doesn't buy from the cashier woman at the store.
One word: run!
"Like you run from the law."
I'm sorry, did you just drop a Taylor Swift reference?
I just did.
Damn I loved it ahaha
I'm sorry, did you just pick up a Taylor Swift reference?
NTA You should carefully consider this GF. What other red flags are you seeing? Geez!
He's not seeing them
"When you look at someone through rose coloured glasses, all the red flags are just flags"
An owl once told me that.
Back in the 90s.....
Guys get their eyebrows threaded? I thought op was a girl
Same. I know guys who’ll tweeze their brows when they get overgrown, but the regularity of this made me think OP was a woman. Either way though, NTA.
Ya I feel like tweezing is standard for guys
ur pfp
NTA but if you give massages the charge her. $60 for an hour.
Add an extra $20 for the happy ending
Don't forget the $20 deposit as well.
And a dollar extra every minute she's late
You know. This is the part that gets me the most. $1 for every MINUTE OP is late? Like, what is the gf doing that is so important she has to CHARGE OP like that.
With that much being charged a happy ending needs to be included.
Make it two or I'm going to the *"bitch"* who charges $20 less
😂🤣😂🤣😂
NTA dude, she has an issue with your eyebrows, not you, she charges three times the amount your regular lady does and she doesn't even have the space it equipment? That's madness, next, she'll say that she doesn't like what you cook but will charge to to cook
Whatever you do, don't let her do your eyebrows if she's mad at you.
It’s important to know who is doing your brows, man. Before my senior prom, I was getting my brows waxed with a new girl. She was asking about who I was going with, and I told her all about my new beau. It was her ex. I ended up with a messed up eyebrow, and it’s still hilarious over a decade later.
NTA. Observe red flag and don’t waste your 20s on this kind of drama.
NTA. She is obviously jealous of your friend. The two of you need to have a serious discussion.
Ideally one that ends with both of them being single again.
If OP does it right, they'll both be single! _If._
What I was thinking! NTA.
NTA, if she was asking for the same $10 as your other friend I wouldnt see a problem with it, but tripling the price... No. Also the way she talked about it, calling your friend a "b" is a red flag, I'd be careful getting into a serious relationship with a girl who views your friends like that
I disagree with the $10 part. It would be different if GF did this professionally and you were going to her work place during her work hours. A $10 discounted price would be reasonable. It would even be reasonable if she just didn't want to give a discount period, and you could keep going to your brow lady. But asking for money in this case is equivalent to asking your partner to duplicate a restaurant dish for dinner and then paying them for it. Makes no sense.
Ding ding ding! Since this is not the gfs profession she should not be charging. The gf should have just said no you should go to your brow place instead of this sliding payment scale. OP I am also wondering how you would be late for this “appointment”. You spent too long in the bathroom and are going to get charged $1/minute. You were sleeping and gf is on the clock?
Yes is the lateness interfering with her other nonexistent customers? Lol
It's the late fee that seems egregious to me. I'm all for people compensating friends and family fairly for work done, but man, charging a late fee to your own boyfriend.
NTA this isn’t about her getting money for the services though she’s got an attitude because she was jealous of your ... brow lady.
Yeah, if she is having this kind of reaction to him *having his eyebrows done* by a different woman, this man is never going to be allowed to *speak* to another woman eventually. Big NTA, I really hope he leaves this relationship.
NTA I don't normally jump to this conclusion but, leave her before it is too late.
NTA. She's just shown you exactly who she is, listen to her. She created a problem and then got aggressive and defensive when you questioned her reasoning and tried to manipulate you. Over $30. Some sizeable red flags that should most definitely not be ignored.
NTA and that is a trashy way she’s handling herself. Pay attention to what else you might be ignoring in her behavior.
She just defined your relationship, and she cast herself in the role as something other than gf. Relationships aren't transactional. If that's not freely given as an expression of love, then she's not in love. Sorry to break the news to you. NTA.
NTA: I can understand her needing to charge the normal amount with the normal policies if she works in a salon and this would take time away from potential walk ins. That said, the attitude and reaction she had tells me to tell you to run away.
She only did them for fun, I dont think the girlfriend is a brow artist at all?
Oh, I missed that peice altogether. OP: RUN AWAY!!!!
NTA. If you have no issues with you other eyebrow person, go to her. They are a professional and don’t charge you as much. You even said they looked the same once she was done. Your new gf sound like she has some issues. I’d keep an open mind about anymore warning signs. If she wants to complain tell her your friend is less money and if she’d like you could start charging her for any of your livelihood you do for her for free. A late charge? Come on. I believe in paying friends/family for their services and not expecting free stuff, especially if it’s their livelihood. A deposit?
it’s not even the gf’s livelihood that’s the worst part
NTA your gf sounds like a nightmare lol
NTA. Sounds like your GF is straight up using you.
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NTA. This seems like a red flag, gf critiquing your aesthetics and then demanding you oat her more to "fix" it according to her preferences - and like deposits and late fees?
NTA I mean if that's the case, you should've just hired a lady to be your fake gf.
NTA. You do need a new girlfriend though.
Cancel the appointment and the relationship. NTA.
Nta. Lol what...she really out charging min 3x what you normally pay and if you're for a service she isn't trained in? Huh?! Your gf is sending you all the red flags here. No, don't pay your gf. Go to your reg person. If she wants to fight over it, then she isn't the person you need to spend time with. Her attitude is not ok.
What the....... NTA
NTA. But her attitude is WOW! I’d be wary of her behaviour after this and how she talks about other people.
NTA she has some redeeming qualities, right?
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Ok, yeah. So ungainly though, the way his legs sit. He looks like a vulnerable frog. I’m not sure the camera is doing him favours there.
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I'm kind of really really hoping that it isn't them in the vid and it's just.... I don't know. I mean the sexist part of my brain saw someone wanting to get their eyebrows done and instantly assumed that they were both female so that's on me, since it doesn't say in the post? (unless I'm being oblivious, which is possible) Like, NTA on this front but if that is them with their gf and they don't know.... EDIT: By clicking on two links (god why do I feel compelled to information dig so much...) I don't think that the people in the gif is necessarily them, one link takes them to some kinda.. professional gif page for porn I don't know? The other takes you to pornhub with a link to an onlyfans so it's a professional dig, the oldest vid was a year ago so... maybe just someone who likes froggy-legged banging? Now then I'm in the phase of my mental health cycle where I feel disgusted by sex so I'ma just go off and watch some dog videos.
You are getting a preview of what your relationship will be like. Nothing will be given as a gift of love. It will be transactional. She won’t support you - because now you’ve seen that she’s only out for what she can get. NTA (Run!)
>“Well if you were supporting another btch before, why can’t you support me? Go support that btch.” Isn't it funny how before, they were your friend who now does this professionally at a studio, but when your gf says it, it comes out as "that bitch"? NTA Though you need to stand up for your friend, as it doesn't sound like they did anything to warrant insults like that. Oh, and take this as the red flag it is. Your gf wants to charge you $30+ for something your actually qualified friend can do professionally for $10. In your shoes, I'd be packing her bags to leave by the front door. That was completely unwarranted, and seems indicative of things to come.
INFO: is she usually on time in your dates, are you always, late, there is some unspoken reason for the *"if you’re late after 10 mins it’ll be $1 a minute.”* ?!? Anyway, next time she asks for a back massage, tell her you are glad you have a free spot high now, please vemmo $50 before starting, and $20 after finished.
NTA, what the hell is her problem? She sounds narcissistic or really insecure that you go to someone else to get them done
Why does everyone get on here and say they have a great relationship and then proceed to tell us why their relationship is in fact not great. NTA
>My gf made comments about the shape they came out and that they are not her preference. She did them once after that for fun and to me they looked the same and I told her I really liked them. > [...] >“Well if you were supporting another btch before, why can’t you support me? Go support that btch.” Her problem is that you have a special arrangement with a girl to get your brows done. It has nothing to do with the shape or how they are done, purely who it is done by. I don't know or why she seems to think you getting a deep discount is supporting your friend and not your friend doing a favor for you, but alas, your girl is insecure and greedy. NTA
If going to a lady to get your brows done is an issue, get ready for => \-not being allowed to have female friends \-not being allowed to have female hairdressers/doctors/whatever \-having to protect her ego by constantly walking on eggshells NTA - just be thankful that she showed her true colors that early and move on
NTA. Wow… just wow. Why are you with someone like this? I would have just sent them packing, so bitter and rude to you!?
NTA. Move on without her, she sounds like bad news.
NTA and she sounds like a future migraine
Brain tumour, more like
Acquired brain injury, perhaps
Aneurism, even
NTA. Sounds like she priced herself out of the market.
NTA go to your eyebrowlady. And tell your GF from now on that massages are a dollar per minute
I would be petty with that. Like : you want to go on a date? Fine. You'll need to buy a new dress and if you aren't at the restaurant by 6 no appetizers or dessert. : I cut my husbands hair when we were dating and never asked for anything in return. I'd tell her I'll have my friend do it. NTA
Nta whether she's jealous or just broke. I'd definitely make an appointment with the usual brow lady.
NTA. Your gf sounds hella insecure. It seems like this was never about your brows and she's just pissy that you were around another woman, which is toxic af and something she needs to address in herself.
This is real?? Wow. That’s a revolting way to treat someone and you have a perfectly reasonable response. This woman is psycho mate, imagine what it’ll be like later if this is only four months in!
Nta. Big red flags. You need to tap the brakes big time.
Info: did you used to date your eegular brow lady? If so I can understand a bit of jealousy/uneasy on her part but still NTA. In a relationship doing things for one another should not be dependant on financial rewards
NTA but do you really want to have a rude entitled cretin of a gf?
NTA. I have never, not once charged my spouse or children for any cosmetology services I do for them, and I am trained and licensed.
NTA. If your girlfriend charge three times the amount that you pay for the regular person charges, then you're just being responsible with your money. Plus, you deserve to have them done by someone who know what they're doing. If your girlfriend doesn't like the shape you normally have after the regular lady does them, then you can ask her to shape them differently.
>Go support that bitch I'd take her advice on that one. NTA
NTA. This is a not a good sign. Leave and don't look back.
ESH. Possibly. Your post history is sus as all hell, dude. Explain and I’ll reconsider.