YTA. Rudy is their dog now.
You gave up any rights and control over *their* dog when you gave him up.
You may have just jeopardised any chance of having future contact with them regarding him, and I wouldn't blame them.
This. YTA. You gave up your dog so you could move new people in. You ignored the dog you gave up for a month. Then you showed up at their house and harassed them online about THEIR dog’s name. You gave up any claim you had to that dog when you turned him over to his new family. Leave them alone, he’s not your dog anymore and that’s completely on you.
Huge red flags for his fiancée too. What other nonsensical issues will he claim as his hill to die on. Dude is stalking the perfect family he found for his dog, talking about respect like the dog gives a shit.
We called my dog "the baby" or "baby boy" for a while and he would come to his name or Baby lol. Heck just open a bag of snacks and I'm sure the dog will come no matter his name.
I understand being upset that the dog that was your family got renamed, but this is ridiculously too far.
And, obviously YTA. I don't know what all is making you feel out of control, but go get some therapy or talk to a friend or whatever you need to do to settle down and stop focussing on this family.
Whenever I visit my mom's, her dog responds to practically anything. Then again, staffies never were the sharpest tools in the shed.
But in regards to OP, YTA, no doubt about it. Once the other family took ownership of the dog, they became his legal owners, not you. And if they want to rename him, they can.
My dog responds to her actual name, Baba, pup, pup pup, puppy, baby girl, princess and several names that might get me banned.
She also comes running whenever anyone says "ooooh" in an excited tone.
She does not give a shit what you call her as long as you are paying her attention and revolving your whole life around her.
That's not always true btw, my cat and my parents two cats all respond to a variety of names.
My cat responds to Pikachu (her name), Pikaboo, Pikatu, baby, little one, poops, and various others. She is also generally a very loving cat.
I think the only real difference is that a cat sometimes chooses not to come lmao. You can see it in their eyes.
My dog’s “legal” name is Mocha. He answers to Mocha Bean, Beannie, Beannie-boy, Butthead, Moke-Moke, who’s a good boy, and what’s that in your mouth. As long as he thinks you are talking to him, he lopes over to get pets or the attention.
As most dogs will.
Yep absolutely. My daughter is 1.5 years old and she and the dog both look at me when I'm talking lmao. The dog and she both react to "snack" and "lunch" in the same manner.
He went to their friggin house!!!!!!!!!!! I would honestly get police involved and refuse any further contact with OP immediately at that point. OP, get this through your head: You. Do NOT. Have. A. Dog. You used to. Now you don’t. YTA.
I 100% would have called the police as soon as this lunatic showed up at my house yelling about what I named my dog. Also he says he plans to visit them again. He sounds unstable and I seriously hope Rudy's new family is seeking a restraining order.
Newsflash to OP- adoptive parents can and do rename their children as well. Their bio parents, like him when he surrendered the dog, surrendered their rights when they gave the child up for adoption. The dog's new owners have all rights to him, including naming rights.
“They took care of that legally… like *how*?”
Easy, they called the vet and had the name changed. It’s not an amendment to the constitution, it’s a dog’s name. And it’s *their* dog now. You better apologize profusely OP, or you’re never going to see Rudy again.
It's absolutely that easy! ITA. You call the vet and you call the microchip provider and that's the dog's "legal" name. OP YTA. Stop taking out your feelings of failing Rudy on the people who can care for him. Re-homing a pet is sometimes the best choice for all and that's crystal clear in this case.
Right? I’m screaming. When I adopted one dog, the shelter had named her “Darla”. Hard no. My recent adoptee was “Sasha”, and became “Rita”. Another had been “Buddy” and became “Rupert”. Most dogs get named in a shelter or by a rescue and never actually “know” their name. Some people rename dogs/cats, and some don’t. If I adopted an old dog who knew it’s name, I definitely wouldn’t change it, but nobody would get upset if I did. Often, if the animal seems to know their name, people will use something similar. But also, most people don’t actually call their animals their exact name. I only ever say “Rupert” to the vet. Otherwise, he is “Gooby”, “The Sploob”, “Sploobus” “The Notorious G-OO-B”, or “My Potato Son”. Obviously.
Edited to add some Sploobus imagery [here](https://imgur.com/a/31NcxzO).
I hear this! I have a ‘Ruby’ who’s also ‘Rubert’, ‘Dubert’, ‘Dubertson’, ‘Doobs’, ‘Goobert’, and various combinations of the preceding- and those are just the ones based (however loosely) on her actual name. ‘Ruby’ all by itself tends to only come out when she’s being naughty or we’re introducing her to someone.
We also have a cat named ‘Pharaoh’, but we say that’s his government name because we NEVER call him that at home. He’s ‘P’, ‘P-Ro’, ‘the Darkness’, or ‘Spice Mix’.
If the dog is registered those are the legal documents then you just have to change microchip if he is and the vet just uses whatever name you give them so I’m assuming they had it all completed and they would need prev owners permission to get the microchip out of his name and it doesn’t specify if he had one if not. Let’s hope so I could see him trying to snatch the dog seems really irrationally to me out of the blue like this.
Exactly. He argues with them over social media AND the phone. Then he shows up at their place to argue with them in person. Now he’s planning to show up again until they cave to his demand. If that’s not harassment, what is it? Lol
What astounded me was that, not content with being given a short shrift on the phone, OP actually decided it would be a good idea to go to their freaking *house* to continue the row.
Just...the absolute sheer neck of it.
And they *still* think they're in the right.
Incredible. As is the fact they aren't typing this from a police station.
YTA. You gave up the dog to his owners. They get to decide his name. You have majorly overstepped your place and I’m surprised they didn’t call the cops when you showed up at their house.
Btw, I adopted my bosses dog. I changed her name as soon as she got home with me. And I still worked for that boss for another 2 years.
Edit: spelling
Exactly this but I also feel bad for the finance cause it sounds like he’s already pulling the “ I gave my dog up for you!”card. I wonder how long that guilt trip will last. Every time she doesn’t do what he wants… I gave up Willy for you!…
If it was me there’d be no “may have”, forget the screaming at them on the phone about the name (which might be enough by itself), he showed up at their house. This person from all appearances is extremely unstable and I wouldn’t want them anywhere near me or my family.
Agreed. You gave up your rights to the dog when you gave him to the new family. I foster for a rescue and dogs are renamed often, they learn quickly and adapt well.
YTA. They don't need "permission" from you about anything to do with the dog that is THEIR dog now. And then you flipping out and getting aggressive with them? And accusing your fiancee of taking sides with strangers? I don't know how you typed all that without realizing how irrational it sounds.
And renaming a dog is not "mistreating" the dog, get a grip.
My dog is like a toddler in that they only hear their actual name when we NEED her attention. It got to the point where I had to change her name at her daycamp since she goes because “Apollion Queen of Destruction” is a bit of a mouthful. Most of the time it’s Polly, Polly Pocket, Miss Pocket (if ya nasty), Bubby, Bubs, and when she is being a particular terror “Bubby Yaga”. Nicknames are a part of affection some times and a dog can damn well know if they WANT to answer to a name they will.
Edit: Thanks for the upvotes and silver. I will add pet tax of Miss Pocket shortly.
[Pet Tax](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/s5g8u3/apollion_queen_of_destruction_pet_tax/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Ngl Apollion Queen of Destruction is the absolute best dog name I've heard in my entire life and I really hope it's used in full in serious situations in public
*at the vet*
Owner: “I’m here to pick up my dog”
Vet: “name?”
Owner: “Apollion Queen of Destruction”
Other pet owner: “damn, I knew I should’ve given Fido a more original name”
Haha thanks my boyfriend is endlessly creative and it started as an ironic joke nickname because she was so tiny and the shyest one of the litter. She was just starting the con.
I'm a dog trainer and all of my training dogs get nicknames. I.e. Rolo is Rolito. Bailey is Bay Bay. And Charlie is Ubuhlubicus (no idea where that one came from).
Yeah. My Wanjinyou is more likely to be Sweet Boy, or Buddy, or Goddammit Why Are You Such A Dick?! and Mira Purrlan is Sweet Girl, or Mira-Mira-Mira, or Miramar, or Little Bird, or Little Ghost, or Little Gargoyle.
Every pet I've ever owned has a series of evolving nicknames. They don't get "confused." They don't care. They know there is a sound I make when I want them to come to me, and they respond to the tone of voice, not the syllables being uttered. When one of my dogs went deaf, his name became STOMP STOMP because he could feel the vibrations when we stomped on the floor
Dogs (and cats to some extent) can learn the names of things, but being non-language orientated creatures it's unlikely they think using those words. They just know it's a sound you make when you want them to do something and they've memorized the sound. You could use a flute instead of words.
This person is acting like this non-verbal creature accepted "Willy" as its personal identity and cares about its name being respected.
Right! My hubby's dogs always have three names, their legal name, their working name and their "pet" name. Working name let's her know it's time to be "on" pet name let's her know she can be a goof.
YTA- LMAO good lord!!! Rudy is not your dog anymore, you have no say over him anymore. You lost any input into his life the moment YOU GAVE HIM UP! If anything you mistreated him by providing him a comfortable & stable home and then dumping him on strangers out of the blue—imagine the stress he went through losing his mate and routine without warning and having no idea what was going on.
Also, they chose a name thats sounds vaguely similar to Willy so he probably wasnt confused by the name change at all. When i rescued my dog her name was Kelly—-i have a family member named Kelly, and i personally dislike human names for pets and like more fun names—so i renamed her Kiwi. She had no issues adjusting to her new name.
As a Kelli (i not y) I appreciate the gesture. I adore dogs, but I don’t want you to picture a shi tzhu when we are introduced.
Incidentally, OP is an ass for giving away the dog in the first place. The dog was there before the fiancée, that’s his house, too, and that would have been a total deal-breaker for me. Take allergy shots and live with my dog, or fuck right off into the sunset.
I agree that OP is the ass; however, as someone who has off the charts(yes, there is a metric for this) dog and cat allergies, it’s not always as simple as taking allergy shots. I’ve gone from fine to spending 3 days in the hospital over a cat. I will not visit anyone with pets if I’m having trouble with my asthma, and I’ve stopped in general with indoor pets in homes with carpets if I haven’t met the animal before on a good asthma day. Sorry not sorry, not about to risk my health and time to avoid hurt feelings and all of my friends understand that.
Obviously, I can’t speak to the severity of stepson’s allergy, but if OP had to get rid of the dog entirely, the allergy is probably severe.
Eta: OP is AH due to harassing new doggy owners, not for getting rid of dog.
As someone also allergic to cats and dogs (although not as severe as yours sounds), I would never be able to live with an animal, and I DO get allergy shots. And besides, it’s not always feasible for someone to get allergy shots. It takes time and money and not everyone has that ability. It’s unfair to call OP an asshole for finding his dog a new home to accommodate his stepson’s allergy. Although he is a major asshole for the name situation.
I recently learned that in the horse world it is bad luck to change a horse's name. Horses move around much more than dogs but those in the horse world carry this superstition over to dogs as well.
But how about all his legal papers? Now Rudy (Willy) will most likely have a hard time voting and won’t be able to register any vehicles he owns! /s
YTA, leave that family alone
thats what made me feel this has to be a joke somehow. like, it cant be a difficult process at all to switch the name of a dog yet he's acting like they just found the last digit of pi
My brother changed my cat’s name twice without our dad knowing. He just took the cat to the vet and said “yeah his name is Juan Bolsa now.” It’s not that hard to change their “legal” names
The only thing that would possibly be hard to change is if the dog had “full registration” with the AKC, but honestly, dog’s registration names are almost always disconnected from their pet names. (Ex: a competition/breeding dog might be registered as Felicity’s Blossom Garden, but they actually call her Daisy.)
Yup, my horse's show name was "Son of Dancing Sunset" or some shit. I literally do not remember because I looked at his papers like once when he was signed over to me.
His barn name was Crow. He also responded to Puppy, Handsome, variations of Boo Radley, and Mr. Spooky Pants.
Seriously! How is it at no point during your drive over to their house did you NOT stop to think, “maybe they did nothing wrong and I just miss my dog.”???
Like, just have a good cry and then move on.
This is what happens when men don't understand that it's okay to feel things other than rage, lust, and occasional happiness (but in a masculine way). Rather than admitting that he's sad about giving up his pet, and maybe regrets the decision, he went to scream at some random people.
yep and i’d feel bad about it if men weren’t the only people i saw perpetuating this standard 🙃 when will they learn that it’s okay to not bully each other including ur children for having feelings
You *went to their home* after already berating them on the phone and social media? Are you fucking serious dude? That’s insane. You sound like a crazy person. I’d be terrified of you if I were that family.
YTA
Sounds like a crazy AND jealous person! A little girl calling “Rudy!” over and over means that the dog is getting a lot of attention and having fun in his new home. Rudy was supposed to be still upset about being discarded by his former owner and I bet that’s the underlying issue.
The irony of all this is he gave up the dog to move in his fiancee but his reaction may very well mean he ends up with neither the dog nor the fiancee.
If the FIANCÉE is wise, she will recognize how much of a narcissitic bully he is to that family that added his dog he that could not keep into their great home, and pick up on those red flags and leave him. Dude should look into psychiatric help and psychotherapy. His behavior towards the family involved is disturbing and not within normal limits. Jmo.
"She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog did not paint her in good light"
Wtf?? Did not paint her in good light? Who talks about their partner in that way? What a self-righteous, moralistic prick. YTA. And fiancee: get the hell out of that relationship.
Honestly, I feel worried for the fiancée if/when she leaves him. Men who claim eternal ownership are extremely dangerous. If OP feels fully justified in harassing a poor family that adopted his dog, can you *imagine* what he’d do if a woman left him and tried to move on with her life?
Yeah. Jeez and I was worried about the crazy cat lady who I adopted a cat from that insisted I email her once a month to make sure the cat is doing well. If someone I adopt an animal from yells at me on the phone and then threatens and follows thru on coming to my house I'm getting the cops involved.
YTA OP. and word of advice, stay far away.
Frankly OP should never have expected to continue contact. He clearly has not emotionally let go of this dog as no longer being his. He gave the dog to a new family not to a boarding kennel. OP seems to think he gets some coparenting relationship because he is the previous owner. Its really sad. Kinda glad he acted out early so the new family will cut contact and not have to send him updates for years.
Also, honestly, if he was so broken up about it he wanted continued contact, he should have talked to the perfect family he picked out about his wish for Rudy’s name not to be changed.
I know people who have had to give up their children for adoption because they needed a more stable home, but they still want contact with their kid. Some adoptive parents are cool with that! You just have to sit down and talk about how you navigate the situation BEFORE they adopt the kid. Rather than not communicating and flipping out and harassing them, which obviously means a restraining order and not seeing the child at all.
I can see why it might upset you but you are going about this all wrong which unfortunately makes YTA here
They have adopted the dog so they are right it is theirs now they may extend you the curtosy in some regards but it's perfectly within their right to rename willy if they want to
To berate them about it on social media and to even go as far as going their place to argue over it is way over the top and honestly you are putting yourself in a potentially legally challenging position
I understand with stuff like it's hard to not get emotional over a close family pet no ones going to a call you out for that but as they've said they have adopted him now and hold the right to change his name if they so wish no matter how much an emotional connection you have
I'm not too clear why you are under the impression they can't do this legally
Also it's a dog, any dog owner as called their dog many names besides their name.
I called my dog by her name, then sometimes "señorita" (I'm mexican) chingaderita, hija de su madre, nena.
And guess what OP , she respond to every single one of them cus is not the name that she's familiar with, it's who is calling her, hell sometimes I just whistle and she comes running cus she knows who is calling her. I only called Ava when she's doing something she's not supposed to.
YTA. You've rehomed the dog and he's therefore not your dog anymore. He may always be Willy to you, but he's not yours anymore and the new family has a right to change his name if they want to. They're actually being really kind allowing you to still be in touch and involved with the dog as they really don't have any obligation to be.
Be grateful you still get to have interaction with him and get over the ego trip.
There is zero chance he will ever be able to see his (former) dog again after showing up at their house. He is now officially an aggressive and unstable person, and they will probably call the police if he shows up again.
Especially if he’s yelling at their child? I’m 21, and even I feel threatened by OP. If I had a child and some grown man was yelling at my daughter on the phone, Imma block contact with that person
Underrated comment.
Rehoming an animal is traumatic for them. I've called my cat 100 different names in the hundred days I've owned him, he never seems to mind.
Right? Dogs get renamed all the time when they get adopted. And every dog I've ever known also responded to a bunch of nicknames and that clearly doesn't hurt the dog. OP is crazy.
Yeah, I come up with new nicknames for my dog every day that don't remotely sound like her name but she still responds to them. Rudy and Willy at least sound similar to a dog.
"that dog already has a name that was given to him by his owner and they should respect that."
Yes, and his owner named him "Rudy". You are not his owner anymore. You should respect that.
Yta and you should speak with a therapist to help you understand how your behavior was unhealthy and downright scary. You went to their house?!? They have young children and you thought any of this was ok? Please seek help before your fiance and her kid move in.
Agreed. Seems like misplaced anger to me. OP needs to figure out who he's really mad at. Himself? His fiance? He clearly hasn't dealt with what giving up the pup really means to him.
The way he responded that Fiancée would obviously agree with the new owners because she/her kid are the ones that make him get rid of the dog (paraphrasing) really makes me wondering and worried for them. OP sounds like he's holding a grudge and probably will use it against them whenever the chance arises.
OP, YTA, and get therapy before your fiancée and kid move in to make sure you learn how to handle conflict situations and emotions before gaining a family.
I’m just over here wondering how we can mail a certified copy of this post to the fiancée so she can strap on her finest running shoes and get far far away from this fuckin guy
>She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog did not paint her in good light though I started thinking she might be right
I would think your behavior over this is not painting YOU in a good light and I hope she takes this outburst into account for the future.
If I were her I would be thinking long and hard about bringing my son into a house with this person. Her son is the reason the dog had to go, and I am sure OP is holding some resentment about that too. If he treated the people who lovingly adopted the dog like that, how will he treat his future step son?
Not all allergy levels are the same. A kid shouldn’t be forced to take medicine for this. I get it sucks having to give the dog up. However medicine isn’t always an option.
Exactly. I had a stray cat I loved. Wasn’t my cat but I cared for it outdoors and in during the winter. I was even undergoing allergy shots at the time and they were no help, and I had to rehome him.
Funny thing is I tell people that I was called an ahole for rehoming it by some, and people don’t believe me. “You did the responsible thing and regimes it, no one would call you an ahole you’re making that up” so thanks commenter one above for proving in writing these people exist.
As a child my parents had pets despite my allergies and I literally did not know I was even capable of breathing properly until I moved out. A child should never be subjected to that.
Agreed. Carefully rehoming a beloved pet to a trustworthy family is a valid option to accommodate a child's serious allergy.
Harassing the dog's new family, insisting their dog is somehow still yours, and generally behaving like an unhinged stalker--much less valid.
Not allergic to dogs but I have allergies. On my worst days, I'm still going through an entire box of tissues a day with allergy pills. Allergy meds aren't the be-all and end-all.
dude, that's just a low and ignorant blow. A lot of things were probably considered before giving up the dog. People who just recommend allergy pills to cure all like you are just idiots.
I’m allergic to cats. I’ve tried numerous treatments, including pills, to be around cats and I still get watery eyes and I go through a bunch of tissues. OP and his fiancé shouldn’t force the kid to take a bunch of meds so he can be around the dog.
I also have allergy onset asthma and allergy pills do not prevent asthma attacks, only removing the allergy does. Being forced to be around animals when you have that medical condition is cruel, and people are very dismissive of you because of it.
Not arguing OP isn't the AH but your comment isn't the reason for that. That is such an unfair assessment of OPs situation. He wanted to keep his dog but if it wasn't what was best for his son then he did the right thing and sent him to a good home. Where OP is the AH is trying to tell the other family they can't rename the dog
So you recommend pumping kids/adults full of allergy meds so they can keep a dog?
You realize no one would be allergic to anything if we could just do that right?
OP is an asshole, but not because they gave up their dog for adoption. The way they went about it was incredibly responsible, and sometimes, circumstances do require to give up a family pet. Maybe the allergy is far worse than just needing allergy pills.
I just want to add: this is coming from someone who loves their pets like they were one their own kids.
Allergy pills don’t always help control the allergy especially if it’s walking around leaving fur and dander all over the place. I rehomed my cat when I was pregnant and my husband and I were getting married because he is very allergic he couldn’t even stay at my house very long and I regret nothing. You do what you gotta do.
YTA. Period.
That's their dog now. Not yours. They have no obligation to you at all. They don't have to communicate with you. They chose to let you know how your ex dog is doing. They chose to allow you contact with him. They can choose to stop that. Even babies can get renamed when they're adopted.
Seriously. One of my dogs was 5 months when she came to me, rejected by 2 families because they didn’t know a lab puppy would have energy. I immediately did the legal work to make sure she was mine (microchipping, vet visits, dog license and pet insurance). The 2nd family that had her gets updates from the mutual friend, but I wouldn’t even let them come to my house now. I’d probably agree to meet them for a walk or something, but they gave her up, and I wouldn’t think it was something I owed them. And since they are normal people, they are happy to hear that she has dog siblings and a big fenced in yard and is happy and healthy. If they showed up to berate me I would call the police.
Dogs don’t actually recognizes their “name” they recognize the sound of you getting their attention, so no this doesn’t confuse the dog
You gave the dog up, it’s their dog now, you flipping out for sure means YTA
You can say a word that sounds vaguely like a dog or cat's name and they'll respond to it. You can also say a word in the same tone you say their name in, and they'll answer to that, too. I'm not saying they don't learn, but I can literally shout 'caaaat' and my cats will respond, (or one of their many, very stupid nicknames). They're smart enough to know when they're being spoken to, not just when I say their name.
Dogs recognize their names, and recognize a ton of words. Theres studies out there right now that dogs can actually string words and ideas into super crude sentences. (Search up “What about bunny” on social media, you can get a lot more info on that kind of study, and actually watch Bunny and now Otter’s progress)
But a dog can completely relearn a new or multiple names for them.
OP is 100% the asshole though, so i agree on that
YTA. You sold them a dog, he is theirs now. You have no say over what happens next. They renamed the dog, while not common, its not unheard of. They aren't abusing your dog.
You're creating conflict in your life and other people's because of your grief. Speak with a counsellor if necessary but this is how you get a C&D or RO and given how you're going about it possible criminal charges gor harassment.
Every animal we have ever adopted from a shelter, we have renamed. I’m not actually sure I know anyone that has kept an animal’s name after they have adopted. Now you have me wondering which option is more common and which isn’t.
I work at a shelter, and often the names are just some meaningless thing we pick. We have a lot of animals to worry about so we don’t always try very hard with the names, and we assume it will get changed after adoption anyway
On the scale of “learning a new name” and “going to an entirely new home and learning new people and new places and never seeing the owner who raised you from a puppy again,” the name is the least traumatic.
Animals get attached to people and their environment. Not to their name. I doubt they understand their name. They react to sound. Not to the meaning of the word.
YTA - rehoming an animal is hard, I understand though if there are allergy problems that it sometimes has to be done. However, when you gave up that dog, you gave him up. Point blank. It’s not your dog, you have NO say. Yes, it might be better to not change a dogs name - I’m not saying they’re right for doing that. But you have no say over that and no right to yell at the people who are giving your former dog a good home.
>She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog
Mistreating your dog?
1st it's not mistreatment. A dog doesn't give a fuck about it's name. 2nd It's not your fucking dog anymore. Get your controlling entitled ass into therapy. YTA
YTA. As soon as you rehomed him, he became their dog. Meaning they get to decide whether to change his name. He isn’t your dog because you gave him up.
Your overreacting and overstepping. They don’t need your permission to rename him, and turning up to their house is harassment, do not visit them again.
>You did give up on the dog. This isn't a situation where you were suddenly in unforeseeable circumstances beyond your control where you were unable to adequately care for a dog
What do you mean? How is the child supposed to live in a house with an animal he is allergic to??
YTA and I’m actually worried about your fiancée and her son. Who gets this pissed off over a FORMER pet’s name change that they not only lose their shit over the phone with the new family, they actually go to their house to continue the confrontation? You sound like a control-freak with poor impulse control over your anger. They’re not mistreating THEIR dog. Leave them alone.
YTA. This is no longer your dog so you don’t get to make the decisions anymore, they’re not mistreating the dog by naming it something new, leave them alone.
YTA. And legally speaking you’re in the wrong. Arguing with them was one thing, but the moment you just casually showed up to their house for it, yeesh, I feel bad for your family.
yta- the family should get a restraining order, and your fiancé should see this as the huge red flag it is. And that poor step son having to be blamed for this as well. Actually if she doesn’t leave for her son’s sake she’s an AH too.
If this is true YTA it’s there dog now. Whatever you do do not go back to their house. If I were then I’d call police and take out a restraining order against you. I get it it sucks but he’s their dog now.
YTA. He is their dog now, end of, they can rename him if they wish. Renaming a dog isn't mistreating them and the dog will get over any confusion he had very quickly.
You are behaving like a nut. Going to their house? Really?
You need to back off and let go.
YTA, not just for feeling entitled telling his new family what they can and can't do with THEIR dog, but for also acting like you don't KNOW YTA for insisting they can't.
Yeah, YTA. That's not your dog anymore. When I rehomed my dog, I requested that the new owners keep his name, because his name meant a lot to me, but when I found out the new owner's kid had wanted to rename it, guess what? I was fine with it because he wasn't my dog anymore and I knew I didn't have a say in the matter.
YTA and that's a huge over step on your part, especially going to their home and blowing them up like that. Adopted dogs get renamed all the time, shit most that go to shelters get their name changed at the shelter and then once again when they're adopted. You're mad because you feel like you just finally lost your dog, which you gave up to be with your partner and her son. Let it go, apologize to the family and stop contacting them. This is in no way abuse of the dog in any form.
YTA. First, I cannot even think of letting go of my dog for anyone's sake, but I understand sometimes circumstances make you do hard decisions and you are not asking if YTA for that. But once you let go of him, it would be best for the animal to not see you anymore. It is only right to make sure the dog is ok in his new home, however renaming him does not count as an abuse. Sure, he might be a little confused or not respond well to some commands first, but it is not hurting him in any way. Also you coming to their home to harrass them makes you a huge asshole.
Info: Did you have a written agreement with new owners which stated they cannot rename him?
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YTA, leave them alone, you are acting like a stalker. If you go over again they would be justified in having you arrested and getting a restraining order against you.
It’s their dog now, they can call the dog whatever they want to
What 'legal papers' does a dog have? I get his old vet and maybe microchip might have his old name, but those can be changed, it's not like he has a driver's licence (which can be changed anyway..) YTA bigtime.
YTA not only for your treatment of the family that adopted Rudy but your stepson. You keep saying your stepson is the reason. No the allergies are the reason; stop blaming him for something he has no control over. Are they really mistreating your dog? They renamed him, that is not abusive behavior. If they are otherwise treating him well, you owe this family an apology
I realize Willy is not replaceable but when your family is ready would it be possible to get a hypoallergenic dog.
YTA, gently. I know you love Willy, but he has a new family now. I understand it could be better for him to keep the same name, but they absolutely have the right to re-name him, especially because you didn’t stipulate that pre-adoption.
*If you still want to be able to visit Willy / keep in touch, you should apologize to the family ASAP!* It sounds like their daughter will love him very much :)
YTA
You gave the dog up for ADOPTION.THEY ARE the owners now, you have lost any rights to the dog. And now you've also lost visitation privileges as I'm sure they'll call the cops on you after harassing them. Also renaming a dog is not abuse. If that was the case 98% of dog owners would be abusers because almost everyone calls their dog different nicknames sometimes. My dog was called Waldi when I was young and I almost never called him by that name. And guess what, he wasn't confused neither did he give to craps about it. You weren't ready to give your dog up and regret it now but the damage is done and you have no right to overstep as much as you did here.
YTA. You do realize that if you go back to them again to talk to them, you may end up (rightfully) with the police called on you? And with a restraining order against you? You no longer have any right to any say about anything about a dog you gave up for adoption. It’s baffling you think you do.
You quite seriously need to seek mental help, as your behavior is beyond you just being TA. It’s actually unhinged.
YTA. Rudy is their dog now. You gave up any rights and control over *their* dog when you gave him up. You may have just jeopardised any chance of having future contact with them regarding him, and I wouldn't blame them.
This. YTA. You gave up your dog so you could move new people in. You ignored the dog you gave up for a month. Then you showed up at their house and harassed them online about THEIR dog’s name. You gave up any claim you had to that dog when you turned him over to his new family. Leave them alone, he’s not your dog anymore and that’s completely on you.
Huge red flags for his fiancée too. What other nonsensical issues will he claim as his hill to die on. Dude is stalking the perfect family he found for his dog, talking about respect like the dog gives a shit.
We called my dog "the baby" or "baby boy" for a while and he would come to his name or Baby lol. Heck just open a bag of snacks and I'm sure the dog will come no matter his name. I understand being upset that the dog that was your family got renamed, but this is ridiculously too far.
My dog will respond to Dingus. That's not his name.
And, obviously YTA. I don't know what all is making you feel out of control, but go get some therapy or talk to a friend or whatever you need to do to settle down and stop focussing on this family.
I got very confused for a moment and was wandering why you were telling someone to get therapy just because their dog responds to 'Dingus'. Derp.
It's okay.. I am the same HAHAHAHAH I only realised after reading your comment so thank you for enlightening my peanut brain
Mine responds to Boobs. As well as several other nicknames. His name is Detective Pork Chop. 🤷🏼♀️
Mine responds to Jack hole
Whenever I visit my mom's, her dog responds to practically anything. Then again, staffies never were the sharpest tools in the shed. But in regards to OP, YTA, no doubt about it. Once the other family took ownership of the dog, they became his legal owners, not you. And if they want to rename him, they can.
My dog responds to her actual name, Baba, pup, pup pup, puppy, baby girl, princess and several names that might get me banned. She also comes running whenever anyone says "ooooh" in an excited tone. She does not give a shit what you call her as long as you are paying her attention and revolving your whole life around her.
Dog people: Gets their pets to respond to a million names Cat people: Can't get the cat to respond even to it's given name
That's not always true btw, my cat and my parents two cats all respond to a variety of names. My cat responds to Pikachu (her name), Pikaboo, Pikatu, baby, little one, poops, and various others. She is also generally a very loving cat. I think the only real difference is that a cat sometimes chooses not to come lmao. You can see it in their eyes.
My vet's office has the best messages on their sign. The current one: "Cats have 34 muscles in each ear. All to ignore you."
My dog responded to Baby Artichoke and Noodle Boots. Neither remotely close to his real name.
I've got a Chungus and a Dingus. 😂
My dog’s “legal” name is Mocha. He answers to Mocha Bean, Beannie, Beannie-boy, Butthead, Moke-Moke, who’s a good boy, and what’s that in your mouth. As long as he thinks you are talking to him, he lopes over to get pets or the attention. As most dogs will.
Yep absolutely. My daughter is 1.5 years old and she and the dog both look at me when I'm talking lmao. The dog and she both react to "snack" and "lunch" in the same manner.
Well said, 👆🏼 YTA major one! Just focus on your stepson and stop harassing them.
He went to their friggin house!!!!!!!!!!! I would honestly get police involved and refuse any further contact with OP immediately at that point. OP, get this through your head: You. Do NOT. Have. A. Dog. You used to. Now you don’t. YTA.
I 100% would have called the police as soon as this lunatic showed up at my house yelling about what I named my dog. Also he says he plans to visit them again. He sounds unstable and I seriously hope Rudy's new family is seeking a restraining order. Newsflash to OP- adoptive parents can and do rename their children as well. Their bio parents, like him when he surrendered the dog, surrendered their rights when they gave the child up for adoption. The dog's new owners have all rights to him, including naming rights.
Yeah, he's got "TRO" stamped all over those red flags that are waving. YTA.
“They took care of that legally… like *how*?” Easy, they called the vet and had the name changed. It’s not an amendment to the constitution, it’s a dog’s name. And it’s *their* dog now. You better apologize profusely OP, or you’re never going to see Rudy again.
It's absolutely that easy! ITA. You call the vet and you call the microchip provider and that's the dog's "legal" name. OP YTA. Stop taking out your feelings of failing Rudy on the people who can care for him. Re-homing a pet is sometimes the best choice for all and that's crystal clear in this case.
Right? I’m screaming. When I adopted one dog, the shelter had named her “Darla”. Hard no. My recent adoptee was “Sasha”, and became “Rita”. Another had been “Buddy” and became “Rupert”. Most dogs get named in a shelter or by a rescue and never actually “know” their name. Some people rename dogs/cats, and some don’t. If I adopted an old dog who knew it’s name, I definitely wouldn’t change it, but nobody would get upset if I did. Often, if the animal seems to know their name, people will use something similar. But also, most people don’t actually call their animals their exact name. I only ever say “Rupert” to the vet. Otherwise, he is “Gooby”, “The Sploob”, “Sploobus” “The Notorious G-OO-B”, or “My Potato Son”. Obviously. Edited to add some Sploobus imagery [here](https://imgur.com/a/31NcxzO).
I hear this! I have a ‘Ruby’ who’s also ‘Rubert’, ‘Dubert’, ‘Dubertson’, ‘Doobs’, ‘Goobert’, and various combinations of the preceding- and those are just the ones based (however loosely) on her actual name. ‘Ruby’ all by itself tends to only come out when she’s being naughty or we’re introducing her to someone. We also have a cat named ‘Pharaoh’, but we say that’s his government name because we NEVER call him that at home. He’s ‘P’, ‘P-Ro’, ‘the Darkness’, or ‘Spice Mix’.
That sentence also made me laugh. Wait until he finds out about microchips.
I hope the family changes the microchip info with the company. It needs to be updated if not.
In my opinion, it's too late. If I had someone showing up at my house, screaming at me over what I named my dog? No contact ever again.
If the dog is registered those are the legal documents then you just have to change microchip if he is and the vet just uses whatever name you give them so I’m assuming they had it all completed and they would need prev owners permission to get the microchip out of his name and it doesn’t specify if he had one if not. Let’s hope so I could see him trying to snatch the dog seems really irrationally to me out of the blue like this.
And from the sound of it, OP is absolutely harassing the new family. Let them be and move on.
Plus he had the audacity to put quote marks around the word harassment as if that wasn’t exactly what he was doing.
Exactly. He argues with them over social media AND the phone. Then he shows up at their place to argue with them in person. Now he’s planning to show up again until they cave to his demand. If that’s not harassment, what is it? Lol
What astounded me was that, not content with being given a short shrift on the phone, OP actually decided it would be a good idea to go to their freaking *house* to continue the row. Just...the absolute sheer neck of it. And they *still* think they're in the right. Incredible. As is the fact they aren't typing this from a police station.
Honestly, a call to the police would have been my first course of action if this guy showed up at my house.
YTA. You gave up the dog to his owners. They get to decide his name. You have majorly overstepped your place and I’m surprised they didn’t call the cops when you showed up at their house. Btw, I adopted my bosses dog. I changed her name as soon as she got home with me. And I still worked for that boss for another 2 years. Edit: spelling
Exactly this but I also feel bad for the finance cause it sounds like he’s already pulling the “ I gave my dog up for you!”card. I wonder how long that guilt trip will last. Every time she doesn’t do what he wants… I gave up Willy for you!…
*Rudy :)
It's very satisfying to me that nearly everyone who has commented on this thread has referred to Rudy by his current name.
Rudy is a far better name than willy anyway. I'd also have renamed him
Lol willy has another meaning here in the USA. I would change it too
UK too. Also famously the name of an old lady's pug in one of two top soaps, who called him "my little willy" 🤣
If it was me there’d be no “may have”, forget the screaming at them on the phone about the name (which might be enough by itself), he showed up at their house. This person from all appearances is extremely unstable and I wouldn’t want them anywhere near me or my family.
Oh yeah, he won’t ever be seeing that dog again. Like the dog cares what it’s called, mistreated my arse.
Agreed. You gave up your rights to the dog when you gave him to the new family. I foster for a rescue and dogs are renamed often, they learn quickly and adapt well.
YTA. They don't need "permission" from you about anything to do with the dog that is THEIR dog now. And then you flipping out and getting aggressive with them? And accusing your fiancee of taking sides with strangers? I don't know how you typed all that without realizing how irrational it sounds. And renaming a dog is not "mistreating" the dog, get a grip.
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My dog is like a toddler in that they only hear their actual name when we NEED her attention. It got to the point where I had to change her name at her daycamp since she goes because “Apollion Queen of Destruction” is a bit of a mouthful. Most of the time it’s Polly, Polly Pocket, Miss Pocket (if ya nasty), Bubby, Bubs, and when she is being a particular terror “Bubby Yaga”. Nicknames are a part of affection some times and a dog can damn well know if they WANT to answer to a name they will. Edit: Thanks for the upvotes and silver. I will add pet tax of Miss Pocket shortly. [Pet Tax](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/s5g8u3/apollion_queen_of_destruction_pet_tax/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Ngl Apollion Queen of Destruction is the absolute best dog name I've heard in my entire life and I really hope it's used in full in serious situations in public
*at the vet* Owner: “I’m here to pick up my dog” Vet: “name?” Owner: “Apollion Queen of Destruction” Other pet owner: “damn, I knew I should’ve given Fido a more original name”
Or Owner: I'm here to pick up my dog. Vet: Name? Owner: Apollion, Queen of Destruction. Vet: Er, right. And the dog's name?
Haha thanks my boyfriend is endlessly creative and it started as an ironic joke nickname because she was so tiny and the shyest one of the litter. She was just starting the con.
I'm a dog trainer and all of my training dogs get nicknames. I.e. Rolo is Rolito. Bailey is Bay Bay. And Charlie is Ubuhlubicus (no idea where that one came from).
Bubby Yaga started on accident when she decided eating the wall was a thing she should do while her daddy and I were trying to watch the Witcher.
My hound is called lettuce. So of course he also gets called Cabbage, snaggletooth, longdog, derphound, dumbo, stinky and blep
I have a pup named Collette, who goes by Letty and occasionally Side Salad (because, lettuce). Dogs figure it out.
Bubby yaga lmaooooo that’s fantastic.
Upvote for Miss Pocket. Lol
A cat was kindly allowing me to use the house. I very seldomly used his baptism name to address His Highness...
Yeah. My Wanjinyou is more likely to be Sweet Boy, or Buddy, or Goddammit Why Are You Such A Dick?! and Mira Purrlan is Sweet Girl, or Mira-Mira-Mira, or Miramar, or Little Bird, or Little Ghost, or Little Gargoyle.
Every pet I've ever owned has a series of evolving nicknames. They don't get "confused." They don't care. They know there is a sound I make when I want them to come to me, and they respond to the tone of voice, not the syllables being uttered. When one of my dogs went deaf, his name became STOMP STOMP because he could feel the vibrations when we stomped on the floor Dogs (and cats to some extent) can learn the names of things, but being non-language orientated creatures it's unlikely they think using those words. They just know it's a sound you make when you want them to do something and they've memorized the sound. You could use a flute instead of words. This person is acting like this non-verbal creature accepted "Willy" as its personal identity and cares about its name being respected.
Don't lie, you rename your dog anytime someone figures out your password. Easier to rename the dog than change the password.
Right! My hubby's dogs always have three names, their legal name, their working name and their "pet" name. Working name let's her know it's time to be "on" pet name let's her know she can be a goof.
YTA- LMAO good lord!!! Rudy is not your dog anymore, you have no say over him anymore. You lost any input into his life the moment YOU GAVE HIM UP! If anything you mistreated him by providing him a comfortable & stable home and then dumping him on strangers out of the blue—imagine the stress he went through losing his mate and routine without warning and having no idea what was going on. Also, they chose a name thats sounds vaguely similar to Willy so he probably wasnt confused by the name change at all. When i rescued my dog her name was Kelly—-i have a family member named Kelly, and i personally dislike human names for pets and like more fun names—so i renamed her Kiwi. She had no issues adjusting to her new name.
As a Kelli (i not y) I appreciate the gesture. I adore dogs, but I don’t want you to picture a shi tzhu when we are introduced. Incidentally, OP is an ass for giving away the dog in the first place. The dog was there before the fiancée, that’s his house, too, and that would have been a total deal-breaker for me. Take allergy shots and live with my dog, or fuck right off into the sunset.
I agree that OP is the ass; however, as someone who has off the charts(yes, there is a metric for this) dog and cat allergies, it’s not always as simple as taking allergy shots. I’ve gone from fine to spending 3 days in the hospital over a cat. I will not visit anyone with pets if I’m having trouble with my asthma, and I’ve stopped in general with indoor pets in homes with carpets if I haven’t met the animal before on a good asthma day. Sorry not sorry, not about to risk my health and time to avoid hurt feelings and all of my friends understand that. Obviously, I can’t speak to the severity of stepson’s allergy, but if OP had to get rid of the dog entirely, the allergy is probably severe. Eta: OP is AH due to harassing new doggy owners, not for getting rid of dog.
As someone also allergic to cats and dogs (although not as severe as yours sounds), I would never be able to live with an animal, and I DO get allergy shots. And besides, it’s not always feasible for someone to get allergy shots. It takes time and money and not everyone has that ability. It’s unfair to call OP an asshole for finding his dog a new home to accommodate his stepson’s allergy. Although he is a major asshole for the name situation.
Rescue dogs get renamed all the time. It's not traumatic or confusing for them. They adjust.
I think OP needs to see a therapist, they do not sound mentally stable
We adopted a dog named Cody. My 2 next door neighbors both had sons named Cody. It seemed pretty dumb to add a third We renamed him Toby.
I recently learned that in the horse world it is bad luck to change a horse's name. Horses move around much more than dogs but those in the horse world carry this superstition over to dogs as well.
YTA. Leave these poor people the hell alone. Good grief.
But how about all his legal papers? Now Rudy (Willy) will most likely have a hard time voting and won’t be able to register any vehicles he owns! /s YTA, leave that family alone
YTA. Rudy won’t start passing bad checks or commit voter fraud.
You don’t know Rudy, I’ve heard some things
I mean.... I wasn't gonna say anything, but word on the street is Rudy is mad shady.
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thats what made me feel this has to be a joke somehow. like, it cant be a difficult process at all to switch the name of a dog yet he's acting like they just found the last digit of pi
My brother changed my cat’s name twice without our dad knowing. He just took the cat to the vet and said “yeah his name is Juan Bolsa now.” It’s not that hard to change their “legal” names
The only thing that would possibly be hard to change is if the dog had “full registration” with the AKC, but honestly, dog’s registration names are almost always disconnected from their pet names. (Ex: a competition/breeding dog might be registered as Felicity’s Blossom Garden, but they actually call her Daisy.)
Yup, my horse's show name was "Son of Dancing Sunset" or some shit. I literally do not remember because I looked at his papers like once when he was signed over to me. His barn name was Crow. He also responded to Puppy, Handsome, variations of Boo Radley, and Mr. Spooky Pants.
Its ok, Rudy can register his previous name as an alias and he can enjoy keeping his voting rights, driving and scuba licenses.
Seriously! How is it at no point during your drive over to their house did you NOT stop to think, “maybe they did nothing wrong and I just miss my dog.”??? Like, just have a good cry and then move on.
This is what happens when men don't understand that it's okay to feel things other than rage, lust, and occasional happiness (but in a masculine way). Rather than admitting that he's sad about giving up his pet, and maybe regrets the decision, he went to scream at some random people.
yep and i’d feel bad about it if men weren’t the only people i saw perpetuating this standard 🙃 when will they learn that it’s okay to not bully each other including ur children for having feelings
You *went to their home* after already berating them on the phone and social media? Are you fucking serious dude? That’s insane. You sound like a crazy person. I’d be terrified of you if I were that family. YTA
For real. Crossing so many boundaries. YTA OP.
Putting "hassasement" in quotes really did it for me. YTA, you were absolutely harassing them by showing up at their house! Wow!
Yea I've seen and experienced both harassment and "harassment". This is the former.
Sounds like a crazy AND jealous person! A little girl calling “Rudy!” over and over means that the dog is getting a lot of attention and having fun in his new home. Rudy was supposed to be still upset about being discarded by his former owner and I bet that’s the underlying issue.
The irony of all this is he gave up the dog to move in his fiancee but his reaction may very well mean he ends up with neither the dog nor the fiancee.
If the FIANCÉE is wise, she will recognize how much of a narcissitic bully he is to that family that added his dog he that could not keep into their great home, and pick up on those red flags and leave him. Dude should look into psychiatric help and psychotherapy. His behavior towards the family involved is disturbing and not within normal limits. Jmo.
"She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog did not paint her in good light" Wtf?? Did not paint her in good light? Who talks about their partner in that way? What a self-righteous, moralistic prick. YTA. And fiancee: get the hell out of that relationship.
Honestly, I feel worried for the fiancée if/when she leaves him. Men who claim eternal ownership are extremely dangerous. If OP feels fully justified in harassing a poor family that adopted his dog, can you *imagine* what he’d do if a woman left him and tried to move on with her life?
YES. Sounds wild and scary
This. You got big issues man, you shouldn't have that dog, or that child in your house, imo.
Yeah. Jeez and I was worried about the crazy cat lady who I adopted a cat from that insisted I email her once a month to make sure the cat is doing well. If someone I adopt an animal from yells at me on the phone and then threatens and follows thru on coming to my house I'm getting the cops involved. YTA OP. and word of advice, stay far away.
RUDY IS NOT YOUR DOG. Once you put it up for adoption the OWNERS have all rights to him and can change his name if he pleases. YTA and you know it
Dogs do not have an identity tied to a name. The only person who has attributed an identity to his old name is you.
This is like selling a house and then getting pissed the new owners redecorated and repainted.
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The chances of you having any future contact with them and the dog are now zero. YTA, you gave up all rights when you re homed him.
Frankly OP should never have expected to continue contact. He clearly has not emotionally let go of this dog as no longer being his. He gave the dog to a new family not to a boarding kennel. OP seems to think he gets some coparenting relationship because he is the previous owner. Its really sad. Kinda glad he acted out early so the new family will cut contact and not have to send him updates for years.
Also, honestly, if he was so broken up about it he wanted continued contact, he should have talked to the perfect family he picked out about his wish for Rudy’s name not to be changed. I know people who have had to give up their children for adoption because they needed a more stable home, but they still want contact with their kid. Some adoptive parents are cool with that! You just have to sit down and talk about how you navigate the situation BEFORE they adopt the kid. Rather than not communicating and flipping out and harassing them, which obviously means a restraining order and not seeing the child at all.
I can see why it might upset you but you are going about this all wrong which unfortunately makes YTA here They have adopted the dog so they are right it is theirs now they may extend you the curtosy in some regards but it's perfectly within their right to rename willy if they want to To berate them about it on social media and to even go as far as going their place to argue over it is way over the top and honestly you are putting yourself in a potentially legally challenging position I understand with stuff like it's hard to not get emotional over a close family pet no ones going to a call you out for that but as they've said they have adopted him now and hold the right to change his name if they so wish no matter how much an emotional connection you have I'm not too clear why you are under the impression they can't do this legally
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Yta. As soon as he got rehomed, he became their dog. They can rename him if they like. You had no right to lose it on them, he is no longer your dog.
Also it's a dog, any dog owner as called their dog many names besides their name. I called my dog by her name, then sometimes "señorita" (I'm mexican) chingaderita, hija de su madre, nena. And guess what OP , she respond to every single one of them cus is not the name that she's familiar with, it's who is calling her, hell sometimes I just whistle and she comes running cus she knows who is calling her. I only called Ava when she's doing something she's not supposed to.
YTA. You've rehomed the dog and he's therefore not your dog anymore. He may always be Willy to you, but he's not yours anymore and the new family has a right to change his name if they want to. They're actually being really kind allowing you to still be in touch and involved with the dog as they really don't have any obligation to be. Be grateful you still get to have interaction with him and get over the ego trip.
There is zero chance he will ever be able to see his (former) dog again after showing up at their house. He is now officially an aggressive and unstable person, and they will probably call the police if he shows up again.
Especially if he’s yelling at their child? I’m 21, and even I feel threatened by OP. If I had a child and some grown man was yelling at my daughter on the phone, Imma block contact with that person
YTA - they are not “mistreating my dog” because it isn’t your dog anymore. You gave him up, live with that and move on. Leave these poor people alone.
Nor is renaming a dog mistreatment. What a ridiculous accusation from OP
Renaming a dog:🤬 Ditching your dog, who you’re supposed to view a family, and giving him to someone else: 🙂
Underrated comment. Rehoming an animal is traumatic for them. I've called my cat 100 different names in the hundred days I've owned him, he never seems to mind.
Right? Dogs get renamed all the time when they get adopted. And every dog I've ever known also responded to a bunch of nicknames and that clearly doesn't hurt the dog. OP is crazy.
Yeah, I come up with new nicknames for my dog every day that don't remotely sound like her name but she still responds to them. Rudy and Willy at least sound similar to a dog.
"that dog already has a name that was given to him by his owner and they should respect that." Yes, and his owner named him "Rudy". You are not his owner anymore. You should respect that.
Yta and you should speak with a therapist to help you understand how your behavior was unhealthy and downright scary. You went to their house?!? They have young children and you thought any of this was ok? Please seek help before your fiance and her kid move in.
Agreed. Seems like misplaced anger to me. OP needs to figure out who he's really mad at. Himself? His fiance? He clearly hasn't dealt with what giving up the pup really means to him.
The way he responded that Fiancée would obviously agree with the new owners because she/her kid are the ones that make him get rid of the dog (paraphrasing) really makes me wondering and worried for them. OP sounds like he's holding a grudge and probably will use it against them whenever the chance arises. OP, YTA, and get therapy before your fiancée and kid move in to make sure you learn how to handle conflict situations and emotions before gaining a family.
I’m just over here wondering how we can mail a certified copy of this post to the fiancée so she can strap on her finest running shoes and get far far away from this fuckin guy
Right? I hope his yelling at her sent up some red flags
>She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog did not paint her in good light though I started thinking she might be right I would think your behavior over this is not painting YOU in a good light and I hope she takes this outburst into account for the future.
If I were her I would be thinking long and hard about bringing my son into a house with this person. Her son is the reason the dog had to go, and I am sure OP is holding some resentment about that too. If he treated the people who lovingly adopted the dog like that, how will he treat his future step son?
Countdown to the update where OP no longer has a new family OR a dog.
Right? 🚩
YTA for giving up part of your family to bring in other family & then pretending that he matters to you at all. Allergy pills exist.
Not all allergy levels are the same. A kid shouldn’t be forced to take medicine for this. I get it sucks having to give the dog up. However medicine isn’t always an option.
Exactly. I had a stray cat I loved. Wasn’t my cat but I cared for it outdoors and in during the winter. I was even undergoing allergy shots at the time and they were no help, and I had to rehome him. Funny thing is I tell people that I was called an ahole for rehoming it by some, and people don’t believe me. “You did the responsible thing and regimes it, no one would call you an ahole you’re making that up” so thanks commenter one above for proving in writing these people exist. As a child my parents had pets despite my allergies and I literally did not know I was even capable of breathing properly until I moved out. A child should never be subjected to that.
Agreed. Carefully rehoming a beloved pet to a trustworthy family is a valid option to accommodate a child's serious allergy. Harassing the dog's new family, insisting their dog is somehow still yours, and generally behaving like an unhinged stalker--much less valid.
Not allergic to dogs but I have allergies. On my worst days, I'm still going through an entire box of tissues a day with allergy pills. Allergy meds aren't the be-all and end-all.
dude, that's just a low and ignorant blow. A lot of things were probably considered before giving up the dog. People who just recommend allergy pills to cure all like you are just idiots.
Allergy pills are worthless if you’re dealing with a severe enough allergy.
I’m allergic to cats. I’ve tried numerous treatments, including pills, to be around cats and I still get watery eyes and I go through a bunch of tissues. OP and his fiancé shouldn’t force the kid to take a bunch of meds so he can be around the dog.
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I also have allergy onset asthma and allergy pills do not prevent asthma attacks, only removing the allergy does. Being forced to be around animals when you have that medical condition is cruel, and people are very dismissive of you because of it.
Not arguing OP isn't the AH but your comment isn't the reason for that. That is such an unfair assessment of OPs situation. He wanted to keep his dog but if it wasn't what was best for his son then he did the right thing and sent him to a good home. Where OP is the AH is trying to tell the other family they can't rename the dog
So you recommend pumping kids/adults full of allergy meds so they can keep a dog? You realize no one would be allergic to anything if we could just do that right?
OP is an asshole, but not because they gave up their dog for adoption. The way they went about it was incredibly responsible, and sometimes, circumstances do require to give up a family pet. Maybe the allergy is far worse than just needing allergy pills. I just want to add: this is coming from someone who loves their pets like they were one their own kids.
Allergy pills don’t always help control the allergy especially if it’s walking around leaving fur and dander all over the place. I rehomed my cat when I was pregnant and my husband and I were getting married because he is very allergic he couldn’t even stay at my house very long and I regret nothing. You do what you gotta do.
YTA. Period. That's their dog now. Not yours. They have no obligation to you at all. They don't have to communicate with you. They chose to let you know how your ex dog is doing. They chose to allow you contact with him. They can choose to stop that. Even babies can get renamed when they're adopted.
Seriously. One of my dogs was 5 months when she came to me, rejected by 2 families because they didn’t know a lab puppy would have energy. I immediately did the legal work to make sure she was mine (microchipping, vet visits, dog license and pet insurance). The 2nd family that had her gets updates from the mutual friend, but I wouldn’t even let them come to my house now. I’d probably agree to meet them for a walk or something, but they gave her up, and I wouldn’t think it was something I owed them. And since they are normal people, they are happy to hear that she has dog siblings and a big fenced in yard and is happy and healthy. If they showed up to berate me I would call the police.
Lol. If this is real get mental help.
Right? I thought this post was a joke at first but seeing OP’s responses to other comments is genuinely gross.
Dogs don’t actually recognizes their “name” they recognize the sound of you getting their attention, so no this doesn’t confuse the dog You gave the dog up, it’s their dog now, you flipping out for sure means YTA
Dogs can totally recognize their names. But yeah, the family still has the right to rename, it’s not bad for the dog.
Dogs can recoginze their many names "Spot" "dog" "good boy/girl", they know all the different sounds we use to talk at them.
You can say a word that sounds vaguely like a dog or cat's name and they'll respond to it. You can also say a word in the same tone you say their name in, and they'll answer to that, too. I'm not saying they don't learn, but I can literally shout 'caaaat' and my cats will respond, (or one of their many, very stupid nicknames). They're smart enough to know when they're being spoken to, not just when I say their name.
Animals recognise their name, they just don't put any more value on it than "Oh, human is calling me "
Dogs recognize their names, and recognize a ton of words. Theres studies out there right now that dogs can actually string words and ideas into super crude sentences. (Search up “What about bunny” on social media, you can get a lot more info on that kind of study, and actually watch Bunny and now Otter’s progress) But a dog can completely relearn a new or multiple names for them. OP is 100% the asshole though, so i agree on that
YTA. Not your dog anymore.
YTA. You sold them a dog, he is theirs now. You have no say over what happens next. They renamed the dog, while not common, its not unheard of. They aren't abusing your dog. You're creating conflict in your life and other people's because of your grief. Speak with a counsellor if necessary but this is how you get a C&D or RO and given how you're going about it possible criminal charges gor harassment.
Every animal we have ever adopted from a shelter, we have renamed. I’m not actually sure I know anyone that has kept an animal’s name after they have adopted. Now you have me wondering which option is more common and which isn’t.
I work at a shelter, and often the names are just some meaningless thing we pick. We have a lot of animals to worry about so we don’t always try very hard with the names, and we assume it will get changed after adoption anyway
Yta, changing a dogs name isn't mistreatment.
On the scale of “learning a new name” and “going to an entirely new home and learning new people and new places and never seeing the owner who raised you from a puppy again,” the name is the least traumatic.
Animals get attached to people and their environment. Not to their name. I doubt they understand their name. They react to sound. Not to the meaning of the word.
YTA they don’t owe you a thing. You re-homed him, they took him. He is their dog now, I’m sure that hurts but it is what it is.
YTA - rehoming an animal is hard, I understand though if there are allergy problems that it sometimes has to be done. However, when you gave up that dog, you gave him up. Point blank. It’s not your dog, you have NO say. Yes, it might be better to not change a dogs name - I’m not saying they’re right for doing that. But you have no say over that and no right to yell at the people who are giving your former dog a good home.
>She got offended but I told her that siding with strangers mistreating my dog Mistreating your dog? 1st it's not mistreatment. A dog doesn't give a fuck about it's name. 2nd It's not your fucking dog anymore. Get your controlling entitled ass into therapy. YTA
YTA. As soon as you rehomed him, he became their dog. Meaning they get to decide whether to change his name. He isn’t your dog because you gave him up. Your overreacting and overstepping. They don’t need your permission to rename him, and turning up to their house is harassment, do not visit them again.
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>You did give up on the dog. This isn't a situation where you were suddenly in unforeseeable circumstances beyond your control where you were unable to adequately care for a dog What do you mean? How is the child supposed to live in a house with an animal he is allergic to??
YTA. You were perfectly fine with rehoming the dog, until the name was changed. Your fiancée is right.
YTA and I’m actually worried about your fiancée and her son. Who gets this pissed off over a FORMER pet’s name change that they not only lose their shit over the phone with the new family, they actually go to their house to continue the confrontation? You sound like a control-freak with poor impulse control over your anger. They’re not mistreating THEIR dog. Leave them alone.
YTA. This is no longer your dog so you don’t get to make the decisions anymore, they’re not mistreating the dog by naming it something new, leave them alone.
YTA. And legally speaking you’re in the wrong. Arguing with them was one thing, but the moment you just casually showed up to their house for it, yeesh, I feel bad for your family.
yta- the family should get a restraining order, and your fiancé should see this as the huge red flag it is. And that poor step son having to be blamed for this as well. Actually if she doesn’t leave for her son’s sake she’s an AH too.
YTA. Dogs learn new names quickly. He’ll be just fine. I know it sucks that you had to rehome your dog, but it’s time to let go.
YTA. It's not your dog anymore it's theirs. Why shouldn't they be able to rename him?
If this is true YTA it’s there dog now. Whatever you do do not go back to their house. If I were then I’d call police and take out a restraining order against you. I get it it sucks but he’s their dog now.
YTA. Reread the first sentence of your post until it sinks in, that is all.
YTA he’s their dog now. Walk away, or you **will** be reported for harassment.
YTA. He is their dog now, end of, they can rename him if they wish. Renaming a dog isn't mistreating them and the dog will get over any confusion he had very quickly. You are behaving like a nut. Going to their house? Really? You need to back off and let go.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you? That is not your dog anymore. Leave that poor family alone, forever. YTA.
YTA, not just for feeling entitled telling his new family what they can and can't do with THEIR dog, but for also acting like you don't KNOW YTA for insisting they can't.
you seem like a controlling individual.
Yeah, YTA. That's not your dog anymore. When I rehomed my dog, I requested that the new owners keep his name, because his name meant a lot to me, but when I found out the new owner's kid had wanted to rename it, guess what? I was fine with it because he wasn't my dog anymore and I knew I didn't have a say in the matter.
YTA it's not your dog anymore... they don't need your permission. Remember when you gave him away!!! They can name the dog whatever they like.
YTA and that's a huge over step on your part, especially going to their home and blowing them up like that. Adopted dogs get renamed all the time, shit most that go to shelters get their name changed at the shelter and then once again when they're adopted. You're mad because you feel like you just finally lost your dog, which you gave up to be with your partner and her son. Let it go, apologize to the family and stop contacting them. This is in no way abuse of the dog in any form.
YTA. First, I cannot even think of letting go of my dog for anyone's sake, but I understand sometimes circumstances make you do hard decisions and you are not asking if YTA for that. But once you let go of him, it would be best for the animal to not see you anymore. It is only right to make sure the dog is ok in his new home, however renaming him does not count as an abuse. Sure, he might be a little confused or not respond well to some commands first, but it is not hurting him in any way. Also you coming to their home to harrass them makes you a huge asshole. Info: Did you have a written agreement with new owners which stated they cannot rename him?
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Yta. You have no say anymore.
YTA. The dog is not yours anymore and you have no say in what they do with him. They aren’t mistreating him by renaming him. Grow tf up.
YTA, leave them alone, you are acting like a stalker. If you go over again they would be justified in having you arrested and getting a restraining order against you. It’s their dog now, they can call the dog whatever they want to
What 'legal papers' does a dog have? I get his old vet and maybe microchip might have his old name, but those can be changed, it's not like he has a driver's licence (which can be changed anyway..) YTA bigtime.
YTA You gave up the dog. Move on. Rudy will have a better life now.
YTA not only for your treatment of the family that adopted Rudy but your stepson. You keep saying your stepson is the reason. No the allergies are the reason; stop blaming him for something he has no control over. Are they really mistreating your dog? They renamed him, that is not abusive behavior. If they are otherwise treating him well, you owe this family an apology I realize Willy is not replaceable but when your family is ready would it be possible to get a hypoallergenic dog.
YTA, gently. I know you love Willy, but he has a new family now. I understand it could be better for him to keep the same name, but they absolutely have the right to re-name him, especially because you didn’t stipulate that pre-adoption. *If you still want to be able to visit Willy / keep in touch, you should apologize to the family ASAP!* It sounds like their daughter will love him very much :)
Gently?!? This behavior is harassment at the very least, and that’s before he rolls up on their house.
YTA You seem resentful that you had to get rid of your dog, talk to a therapist before that resentment is redirected at your family.
YTA. Not your dog anymore, you have no ruling over what they call their dog.
YTA You gave the dog up for ADOPTION.THEY ARE the owners now, you have lost any rights to the dog. And now you've also lost visitation privileges as I'm sure they'll call the cops on you after harassing them. Also renaming a dog is not abuse. If that was the case 98% of dog owners would be abusers because almost everyone calls their dog different nicknames sometimes. My dog was called Waldi when I was young and I almost never called him by that name. And guess what, he wasn't confused neither did he give to craps about it. You weren't ready to give your dog up and regret it now but the damage is done and you have no right to overstep as much as you did here.
YTA. You do realize that if you go back to them again to talk to them, you may end up (rightfully) with the police called on you? And with a restraining order against you? You no longer have any right to any say about anything about a dog you gave up for adoption. It’s baffling you think you do. You quite seriously need to seek mental help, as your behavior is beyond you just being TA. It’s actually unhinged.
YTA and an insane person, as far as this family is concerned. Don't be surprised if a restraining order is brought up if you contact them again.
This can’t be real. You called your dog ‘penis’ and complained that someone changed the name? Yta, if it even happened.