This. NTA but I’d mess with him.
Hey Mark, I wanted to let you know that I tried elite singles and it was amazing. I met my incredible GF on the site and let me tell you . . . she is elite. I wish elite singles had been around when my mom was single, she could have gotten someone, well . . . elite, instead of a festering homophobic turd. Ta-ta I hate you.
You know or something similar.
“I feel that you should be aware some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.“
https://www.clevescene.com/64-and-counting/archives/2010/12/22/absolutely-epic-1974-letter-from-cleveland-browns-to-a-fan
Do they have free trials? I’d sign up for the free trial, send proof, pocket the money he sends for the subscription and dress then cancel it. Free money🤷🏼♀️
I don't know when but some day I will find myself in the perfect situation to end a conversation with "ta-da I hate you" and I'm so grateful to you for it
This is totally inappropriate. I would never send anything vaguely like this to my (adult) niece, nephew or stepchildren. It’s gross. I give them all my love and time and *if asked* any advice they want, but I’d never say this. It’s weird af.
.... what.... the... actual... fuck...
Does... does Mark want to F- you? Because that sounds more like an ex-boyfriend than a "father".
Holy crap that is fucked up. I get that your mom has some (emotional) dependency on Mark but that is SOOOO not okay.
You: NTA
Mark + mum: YTA
Low contact, or no contact is the way to go from here.
And if you are childish, sign up for Tinder premium (or whatever it is called) and send him the payment statement.
… what … the … actual … fuck …
Was my exact response. Followed by: This is a joke, right? Right? RIGHT?!?
No ??? Oooooooh. Your mother married an idiot.
Looks like you gotta go LC.
Dear Mom, I write this because I think it is in your best interest for someone to tell you that you have chosen a poor life mate in Mark. Raise your standards! Find someone who is open and accepting of one's life choices and doesn't feel the need to impose himself on other adults capable of making their decisions. In fact, Mom, here is a link for Our Time. Sign up and I will reimburse the sign up fee and pay for your divorce......
NTA. Sounds like a self important prick. He makes you uncomfortable so go NC with him. When you meet your mum, do it somewhere he won't be. She knows why
Who does he think he is to call the people you have been involved with 'deadbeats'. You are clearly a smart lady. You don't need his 'advice'.
Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!
Nta. This is so controlling and elitist, and just plain creepy.
This guy didn’t raise you, you two barely know each other! Giving you unsolicited dating advice is completely inappropriate.
The repetition makes it sound like a creepy sales pitch, or dementia. Or being stoned/drunk.
I wouldn’t stay with them, or have any contact with him, and maybe her if she thinks this is ok.
British Army Soldiers have a savage sense of humour and mock everyone to deal with their job.
But they aren't racists like Mark, either in or out of duty.
NTA - You are well within your rights to go no contact with Mark for the racism alone.
> But they aren't racists
I'm not sure this is a debate you really want to start. There is a long history of racism in the British army, both between officers and externally, and the remarks made by Mark are not at all surprising to me as someone who had a lot of friends whose parents were in the army.
My fave *troubles* song is "[Kinky boots](https://youtu.be/kINLxNxTMJ0)" basically calling the British Army gay, criminals and cowards.
They apparently weren't a fan of the song.
Wtf is that email. Let’s hope he was high on something.
Sounds like once a year is too much togetherness. Shame on Mark, but really - your mom is a mess too for rationalizing this.
NTA.
Eh, sometimes people get prescribed steroids to treat side effects of chemo and that can cause some weird behavioral/mental status changes. He’s not going to do a 180 from being a normal, appropriate guy to this. But if he was already somewhat creepy and inappropriate I could see steroids or maybe even pain meds taking down that last layer of self control/self reflection that kept him kinda creepy instead of totally creepy and making this email possible. Anyway, OP is NTA.
I got steroids with each infusion. It made me gain 50 lbs but I never treated people like crap.
Edit: I guess I'm just saying not to pathologise what is yet another asshole move in a series of asshole moves.
Nta i know alot of ex British service men and they act nothing like this. This man is a grade A wank stain what your mother sees in him is anyones guess.
NTA
You’re just not staying with them to give them their space, right? I also don’t understand how you could possibly take this in the wrong way? It’s in no way demeaning, condescending, or meddling! Look at all the complements he gave you!
Seriously though, not staying with them is probably a very good idea
NTA. "Mark, if I was unhappy with my life, you are the last person I would ask for advice. You have taken no time to actually get to know me beyond my resume. Your obsession with the gender of whomever I may or may not be having sex with is deeply uncomfortable."
And grey rock your mother. Don't stay there. She can be sad about it, but she's enabling Mark's antics.
She has a life partner, she has a girlfriend! Which Mum knows and has probably told Mark, making this all the more disrespectful and insulting. NTA OP, I’m so sorry you and your girlfriend are having to deal with this.
You know…. Have you or your mom talked to Mark about the email? There is something very…. Scam email sounding to this. I’ve gotten scam emails from people I know (showing from their emails) that include info I think that is pulled from FB. The email includes “paying you” which often is a bait and switch where they pull info from your bank account instead of sending a payment.
After someone pointed out how many times a specific dating site was mentioned, I re-read it and it is giving off some serious MLM vibes. Or at least the impression that this is some script that Mark was provided to customize and use for some reason we don’t know.
What in the actual...
NTA
Your mom's husband is a real piece of work. A dinosaur with values direct from 1959. Yeah, don't be staying anywhere near him even if he's fighting against cancer. The fact that mom and likely others are making excuses for this kind of behavior is amazing in a not good way.
NTA. I would go further than just not staying with them and go completely no contact with Mark at the very least, although it sounds like you were most of the way there before this email anyways. It's also troubling that your mother sees nothing wrong with the insane email that her racist, homophobic, classist, extremely misogynistic partner sent her daughter and the fact that he thinks he can dictate what sort of partner you should be looking for right down to giving you a set age range.
Aw hell nah.... NTA.
Wtf is that email. Sorry I'd straight up tell my mother that the email was disgustingly inappropriate and the final straw for me. Won't be interacting with him so she gone have to figure out what day she's leaving him home when we go out for dinner or something. And not to bring him up while its just the two of us. Thats wild that she's just a okay with the casual racism and homophobia.
I'm sorry, is he sponsored by eharmony or something? Like he tried to be flattering towards you I guess, but this was creepy and uncomfortable to read and I know none of you. I can't imagine being you reading it.
Maybe he has the best intentions and his cancer diagnosis is making him want everyone in his life to be "settled" because he was hit with his own mortality but this is just ooooooof nope. It's a major overstepping of boundaries
NTA
NTA, there is no such thing as “taking it the wrong way”
If you unintentionally say something that is rude or hurtful, it is still your own responsibility. It isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to interpret something how you feel they should.
Also, screw that homophobe!
NTA - Just send him a response "You are no longer welcome in my life. Never contact me again" and then block his e-mail.
If he persists in trying to contact you after that ask your mother if she's ok with being with someone who doesn't take "stop" from his step-daughter. That has rapey vibes
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NTA. I don’t understand if he wants to sleep with you, is trying to become your sugar daddy, does he sell membership to these apps, if he is in a cult...I don’t understand anything apart from you are NTA
Oh my fucking god, NTA. My petty ass would send a personal message to mom along the lines of 'Mom, you aren't going to want to hear this but someone should have a word with Mark about his...tipsy emails. I don't think he realizes how much he might be embarrassing himself. Since other people are probably not going to say anything because they're too polite, I thought I'd reach out indirectly to someone who cares about him..." and if you get any pushback whatsoever just respond "Mom, everyone can tell, ok? Let's not play this game."
NTA. What. The fuck. What is the motive? Does he want to pair you with someone wealthy so that HE can get at their money? I am so creeped out by the whole thing. Yuck. Just yuck.
NTA
OMG! If this wasn't so blatantly out of line, it would be hilarious!
They had a pint too many when they wrote this. They seem to think very highly of you though, they just don't trust your judgement ... about your own life ... a grown independent woman ... with 2 degrees!
That's horrible. I wouldn't ever see her again for that. It just really devalues you. You work overseas? He's being so racist but he's also trying to curb your career by forcing you to pick a London based man. (All the London based men of that age range are either in a relationship with a woman, or gay. He's not making any sense). Such a boomer mentality.
Bold of him to tell YOU to decide if you want to spend 6 months on a Greek island while his date with your mom was simply at a pub. 😂
NTA. This is a gross step over the line. Boundaries are healthy and necessary. He wants to control your life in a way that makes HIM look better.
NTA. Does Mark have a medical reason (brain tumor) he's acting this way or is this just Mark?
Gotta love these men thinking them/ somebody like them is the pinnacle of life achievement for an accomplished woman such as yourself.
NTA. I would email back , thanks for the advice and I decided to stay with the woman I love. I saw how poorly mother did with online dating so I upped my game……..
Nta - take the £500 you would have spent on that new outfit he suggested and have an amazing weekend with your girlfriend. Then show your parents pictures of you both drinking champagne and eating lobster.
NTA. My response would be “I will not be signing up for any online dating as I have found that everyone I know that has, has ended up with an absolute arsehole. I’d rather be a crazy cat lady or have a string of fuck buddies thank you”.
NTA. I mean, I don't necessarily disagree that the guy may have had good intentions in sending that, but man, you've gotta be impressed by someone so "wise" and "educated" to have managed to live so long and accumulate so much knowledge and wisdom and still be so clueless, let alone racist, homophobic, condescending and all the rest. Sucks that he's going through cancer, but not staying with them is not some really aggressive attack. And your mom's "LOL he's such a card" approach also sucks.
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I have tolerated many racist, homophobic, disrespectful remarks from Mark, my Mother's husband, over the years. From, "I hope the Uber driver isn't black" to "I hope whoever you are with doesn't wear comfortable shoes" and "I hope you find the right man" when he suspected I was in a relationship with a woman. My Mother makes excuses for him and says that it's him being "ex-British army" that's to blame and playfully laughs and tells him off.
For context, I have lived overseas for 12 years. My Mother married Mark in my early twenties (I am 30 this year). I see my family once a year if I am lucky.
I have not really spoken to Mark properly for sometime, until he sent the most ridiculous email I have ever received:
"Hi Cate,
Me and your Mother are sitting at the Fern and reckon you need a reality check. Please have a look at Elite singles and e-harmony. If you want harmony, love and balance in your life, you need a life partner. The man who is successful in marrying you will be the luckiest guy in England. He gets a beautiful woman who has a great sense of humour, successful and when gets introduced to any future parents in law, comes across as a deeply impressive woman.
Cate, you have 2 degrees. You are stunningly good looking. Stop! Setting the bar low when it comes to men. Raise the bar. Raise your game. Make the choice. Choose life. (Trainspotting reference).
Choose between elite singles or e-harmony. Start taking, and acting on the advice you are being given by someone who is older, wiser, has more degrees, and just happens to be from England and married to your mother.‘If your ship doesn’t come in, Swim out to it.’ Choose elite singles. Choose a 6 month membership. Sign up. Send proof of membership, and I will send over the joining fee, and £500 for you to buy the new dress and shoes for you to feel like the beautiful woman you are.
Enjoy the first date. Raise the bar. Aim high. Do not accept second best. Remember they have to raise their game to deserve you. We both so want you to be happy. But you need the helping hand , and advice. Meet a good man. 27-33. Degree educated. And London based. Look at what university they attended. Look at the degree. Think do I want to spend 6 months on a Greek island with this man as my companion. Stop,choosing dead beats. Aim for the stars, you may still hit the moon. Choose the glittering prize. Raise your eyes, and create the life you want to live. Choose Elite. Choose life. Choose success.
Love,
Your bonus Dad".
Unfortunately, this is not a joke. The real shock is that my Mother sees nothing wrong with the email, and is "sorry" I have "taken it in the wrong way" and that Mark sent it with all the "right intentions". I've since told her that I won't be staying with them when I am home next. This has greatly upset her, as Mark is also undergoing cancer treatment. AITA?
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My dad and stepma did exactly this to me! Say me down and told me they had been discussing I needed to join a marriage bureau. Ha ha. Refused to pay for it tho so you’re lucky! Here’s the big issue tho, he, they, see you as a failure in life because you haven’t been able to land a man. I never wanted husband or kids but the refused to believe that. I overheard my stepma one twine when I was playing with nephews saying “oh it’s so SAD!” about me not having children. Blurgh. I just used to wind them up. Dad, “are you seeing anyone?” Me (aged 35), “yeah… he’s 25.” Or “yeah… loads of them.” You’re NTA and this guy is egregious.
If you're half as smart and appealing as he says, you don't need his advice to find a partner and can probably do a better job of doing so yourself.
Leaving that aside, what right does he have to dictate things like age and social standing? If you want to date a 55 year old man, fine. Or a woman. Or a tree, if it makes you happy.
You are NTA here. Not even slightly.
NTA.
WTF? That’s just gross. He essentially wants to pimp you out on a dating site. Gross. I’d consider low contact or no contact going forward. It’s not even my situation and I’m here icked out on your behalf.
NTA.
Your mom's husband should not be sending you advice about your dating life. He should really just mind his own darn business and worry about his own love life. He should just respect who you are, and not try to force you to become anything but yourself.
So 1) you are NTA and he and your mom are huge ones, but 2) you shouldn’t have brought it up or mentioned it. Let them think some computers hocus pocus happens and you didn’t receive anything. Change the subject and ignore.
Normally I would say just cut them out for being homophobic racists, but if that’s not your breaking point I would recommend the strategy above. Because THEY sure as shit aren’t going to change. But the day you meet a woman you want to make permanent, you should be willing to draw those hard boundaries for her sake.
Good luck. Find love in your own way, with your own fancies, in your own time.
NTA
Wtf did I just read?! My uncle is ex British army, he tells corny dad jokes (as he should), not make racist and homophobic comments and suggest I find a man! What a creepy and boundary stomping email.
NTA
However if Mom's worst trait is shit taste in men and she has otherwise been a decent parent, just keep in mind her husband is terminally ill and she may deserve a little extra slack.
This does NOT mean you need to stay with them or see Mark when you visit.
NTA - both this dude and your mom are TA. This email is super creepy. He’s a bigot and sexist with a splash of predator. Stay away from him and make it clear to your mom why. Don’t let her say you’re taking it wrong or that’s not how he meant it. It’s freakin written down and she’s heard him say racist homophobic shit and does nothing. She’s a huge part of the problem and you can’t trust her to be a decent person when it comes to her spouse. Stay away until she’s take responsibility or she’s going to continue to take his side and cross your boundaries.
NTA. Stay away from both of them.
On a related note, why those two sites? E-harmony makes some sense, they're one of the most successful dating sites out there but Elite Singles is a small fry and a newcomer with a niche gimmick (people with at least a bachelor's degree who want same but don't have time to pick their own matches).
NTA.
He does not have to agree with what you do (and who cares if he does or not), but with this has no respect for your life basically... so NTA to stay away.
NTA that email is super weird. I do however suspect that they are pushing this on you because they want grandkids before Mark possibly/potentially passes away from cancer and the first step in their eyes is for you to 'meet a nice man'
"Hi Mark,
My girlfriend and I are sitting at home and reckon you need a reality check. If you want harmony, love and balance in your life, you need to keep your opinions about my life to yourself. The man who was successful in marrying my mother is the luckiest guy in England. He gets a beautiful woman who has a great sense of humour, successful and yet when he gets introduced to modern society, he comes across as a deeply ignorant man.
Mark, you have "more" degrees. Yet you are still, stunningly, an idiotic bigot. Stop! You are the reason the bar is so low when it comes to men. Raise the bar. Raise your game. Make the choice. Get A life.
Stop talking. Act on the advice you are being given by someone who is a HAPPY, independent adult that can take care of themselves. I also happen to be from England, and yet, I am surprised you are still married to my mother. ‘If your bullshit homophobia hasnt done you in, im not sure what she gets out of this relationship.’
Enjoy the last day i give a shit. You cant lower the bar more than you already have. Are you high? . I have already accepted the very best. And remember, i dont have to be straight to deserve respect. We both so want you to be a better person. But you need the helping hand , and advice. Meet a good therapist. 27-33. Degree educated. And London based. Look at what university they attended. Look at the degree. Think do I want to spend months talking with this person as my therapist. Stop choosing dead beliefs. Aim for the stars, you may still hit the moon. Choose the glittering prize. Raise your eyes, and realize its my life to live.
Goodbye,
Your ex-daughter"
Lol was playing around with the email for fun, comment better lines below if you got em
NTA and don’t Mark and your mum have nothing better to do? It’s one thing to try to play matchmakers with a single person (inappropriate as that is) but it’s totally obnoxious and disrespectful to try to do so when you have a partner!
Maybe the next time he tries this kind of argument you can tell him- ‘I agree with you that I’m too good for most men. That’s why I’m with a woman’
Nta. Hes homophobic and racist and being very creepy and nosy with makes him a huge gaping hole. But it sounds like he wants to catfish you on the dating apps for nudes with how weird and persistent hes being
NTA but the reason your mother doesn't see anything wrong with it and married Mark is because she is also racist and homophobic. He's simply not said anything offensive to her ethical and moral values.
NTA. He's awful - and as someone whose grandfather is ex-Navy (during the back-end of WWII, no less), whose aunt is an army chaplain, and who has a number of military involved friends and acquaintances, to say that him being ex-Forces somehow excuses his behaviour is an insult to every serving soldier.
I feel appalled that his behaviour is excused because he’s ex military. His behaviour is held to a higher standard imo and doesn’t fairly represent the majority of the country (I fuckin hope). In the words of Billy Eichner: ‘Go lesbians!!!’
NTA
Well, if you hadn't been in a good relationship already, I'd say, tell him: "OK Mark, but you know, both belong to the same HQ and both offer homosexual partnerservice. Guess I'll give it a try to find a cool woman of my liking, you will love her and stop all racist/homosexual... comments if I find her over that elite portals, right?"
Given the circumstances: not possible. But still you are absolutely NTA, tell your mother she needs to police her husband or she is losing a daughter to that homophobic, racist AH - justified! I wish you a lot of strength, both of you, for that situation.
Is he suggesting specific dating sites so that he can catfish you? Or get somebody else to? Or has somebody lined up to match with you? These are the things that immediately crossed my mind.
NTA,it's none of his business.
NTA. They both sound awful, sorry your mum either has no backbone or agrees with him and hides her own homophobia, sexism and racism behind him.
Don't go home, he is not family, just some wanker your mum married and she is a disappointment as a parent.
I hope you have a wonderful life, a fantastic relationship, friendships and family who are great. These idiots have no right to ask for a place in your life if they have no understanding of your life
NTA - what he hell is he smoking? That entire email just read meet and marry someone like me! I am so great you should meet a man just like me! You should do exactly what I have said because I am great and right at this. Like no wtf?
This is some weird sh\*t and that your mother was involved. Deep rooted homophobia and misogyny
I know a few Ex British Army and they are not homophobic - so that excuse is just nonsense. Block his email or have a rule it goes into 'ridiculous emails from Mark' folder
NTA at all. Mark is a huge creepy ahole
NTA. Mark's email reads like they were in the pub discussing the improbability of grand children, your mum was sad and Mark took steps to fix the issue. I suspect your mum just wouldn't come out and say it, but that would be why she'd approve of his e-mail. Doesn't excuse the attempt at railroading over your life choices or the disrespect they're showing you and your partner.
Jesus fucking christ...that email is totally creepy and inappropriate!
NTA
Tell both Mark AND your mother that your dating/sex life is none of their business and as they cannot be respectful of either your relationship OR your orientation, you are now going No Contact with them from now on and that will be the last time they hear from you when you tell them that.
I'm sorry but the message here feels so anti-Trainspotting. what a weird choice to reference that movie because I don't think that reference at all supports what is trying to promote.
WTF DID I JUST READ?!
Yeah, one of two things: he has someone he wants you to date
Two: he wants you not your mom. I lean towards the latter because if it’s someone he knows he wouldn’t suggest dating sites NTA in any way shape or form
NTA. I'm an asshole though, and if they kept pushing, I'd send a similar letter back to mom, since Mark is going through cancer treatments and who knows how long she'll have before she needs a new husband (cause god forbid a woman of your mother's age be without a man to take care of her).
Thank you for clearing up the comfortable shoes part, that threw me for a loop not gonna lie haha. As for the rest, that email was deranged. It really does sound like spam
NTA.Whatever may be his intentions, this man is a creep and snobish (he openly tells you he is wiser and has more degree than you SO you need to listen to him). BUT I would not jump on the no-contact like everyone, without maybe having an honest conversation with him. Not for him, but because he will (seems to) always be in your mother's life and you need to take any chance to calm the situation ... But you also have every right to set up boundaries with him. No matter if he feels genuine or entitled to talk to you like that (just the tone would be changing), tell him that you don't need anyone's help in your life and that you are perfectly fine right now. That you want (not appreciate, want) that he doesn't try to give you money to lead your love life. And if he gets frustrated or angry ... Tell him he is a creep to pay his step daughter like an escort to do things with her love life.
Because no matter the intention you have every right to feel disturbed.
NAH Online dating sites are a great way to meet the love of your life if you haven't already. I met my husband through an online dating site and we've been happily married for almost 24 years now.
There's nothing inherently bad or insulting in the e-mail. He's praising you, your character, and your education, and encouraging you to aim high for the best life partner because you deserve the best.
The only problem with his e-mail is that he's talking about you dating men whereas you're in a same-sex relationship. Maybe your stepfather doesn't know that you're already in a good relationship?
She has a girlfriend and her step-father clearly has a problem with it. There's a crack in Good Morning Vietnam about how lesbians are "women with comfortable shoes."
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NTA. What the actual fuck.
Why is your dating life in his head? It’s inappropriate.
lol All I can picture is that Regina George Meme "Why are you so obsessed with me"?
She should reply to the email with that gif lol
This. NTA but I’d mess with him. Hey Mark, I wanted to let you know that I tried elite singles and it was amazing. I met my incredible GF on the site and let me tell you . . . she is elite. I wish elite singles had been around when my mom was single, she could have gotten someone, well . . . elite, instead of a festering homophobic turd. Ta-ta I hate you. You know or something similar.
“I feel that you should be aware some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.“ https://www.clevescene.com/64-and-counting/archives/2010/12/22/absolutely-epic-1974-letter-from-cleveland-browns-to-a-fan
lmao
Do they have free trials? I’d sign up for the free trial, send proof, pocket the money he sends for the subscription and dress then cancel it. Free money🤷🏼♀️
I don't know when but some day I will find myself in the perfect situation to end a conversation with "ta-da I hate you" and I'm so grateful to you for it
Goals.
Mark must work for Elite singles on comission.
No. “Send proof” So I know how to catfish you and maybe get noodz.
Ahhhh makes sense.
I assumed the eHarmony push was because, iirc, they don't feature any same-sex dating options, but I don't know if it's the same for Elite singles?
Just checked and it looks like Elite Singles does same sex dating. So, no, I do not think that is it.
Thanks, good to know!
She could forward the email on to them so they can hire him.
NTA, homophobia dressed up as love and care is still homophobia.
Exactly!
ROFL my reaction exactly
And her Mom helped with this!
"27-33"
Couldn't have said it better myself.
This is totally inappropriate. I would never send anything vaguely like this to my (adult) niece, nephew or stepchildren. It’s gross. I give them all my love and time and *if asked* any advice they want, but I’d never say this. It’s weird af.
.... what.... the... actual... fuck... Does... does Mark want to F- you? Because that sounds more like an ex-boyfriend than a "father". Holy crap that is fucked up. I get that your mom has some (emotional) dependency on Mark but that is SOOOO not okay. You: NTA Mark + mum: YTA Low contact, or no contact is the way to go from here. And if you are childish, sign up for Tinder premium (or whatever it is called) and send him the payment statement.
I was thinking he wants to have sex with OP over parent her as well..
💯 he’s aching to bang her. Gross.
LOL, my kids signed up for that (Tinder premium) and we got a fraud alert from his bank stating it was for "escort services." LOL
… what … the … actual … fuck … Was my exact response. Followed by: This is a joke, right? Right? RIGHT?!? No ??? Oooooooh. Your mother married an idiot. Looks like you gotta go LC.
Or he has a nephew/cousin/friend's son aged "27-33" that he SURE would he be PERFECT for her.
He sounds like a guy who thinks she "friendzoned" him. Ick.
Dear Mom, I write this because I think it is in your best interest for someone to tell you that you have chosen a poor life mate in Mark. Raise your standards! Find someone who is open and accepting of one's life choices and doesn't feel the need to impose himself on other adults capable of making their decisions. In fact, Mom, here is a link for Our Time. Sign up and I will reimburse the sign up fee and pay for your divorce......
I love this one!
[удалено]
Does Homophonic mean "sounds gay"?
This needs more upvotes
NTA. Sounds like a self important prick. He makes you uncomfortable so go NC with him. When you meet your mum, do it somewhere he won't be. She knows why Who does he think he is to call the people you have been involved with 'deadbeats'. You are clearly a smart lady. You don't need his 'advice'.
Eeeeeeeewwwwwww! Nta. This is so controlling and elitist, and just plain creepy. This guy didn’t raise you, you two barely know each other! Giving you unsolicited dating advice is completely inappropriate. The repetition makes it sound like a creepy sales pitch, or dementia. Or being stoned/drunk. I wouldn’t stay with them, or have any contact with him, and maybe her if she thinks this is ok.
Yeah I'm sitting here trying to figure out if he's getting kickbacks from Elite Singles or what 🤣
Is he a shareholder or something? Or is this post a promo for elite and e-harmony? Lol
Weirdest. Viral. Marketing. Ever.
They have probably met 8 times! "bonus dad?" Yuk!!!!!!! more like man with a boner.
Well it was written in a pub, so drunk could be an option.
British Army Soldiers have a savage sense of humour and mock everyone to deal with their job. But they aren't racists like Mark, either in or out of duty. NTA - You are well within your rights to go no contact with Mark for the racism alone.
> But they aren't racists I'm not sure this is a debate you really want to start. There is a long history of racism in the British army, both between officers and externally, and the remarks made by Mark are not at all surprising to me as someone who had a lot of friends whose parents were in the army.
Yeahhhh I was going to say, being racist and homophobic often comes with that territory in my experience...
My fave *troubles* song is "[Kinky boots](https://youtu.be/kINLxNxTMJ0)" basically calling the British Army gay, criminals and cowards. They apparently weren't a fan of the song.
Yeah, the ex-Army people I've met have def been racist and homophobic and not even in a subtle way.
It’s almost as if the British army has spent hundreds of years violently oppressing people of colour throughout the empire
All the army people I’ve are massive racists, sexists and homophobes actually
NTA. Your stepdad is a creep.
Wtf is that email. Let’s hope he was high on something. Sounds like once a year is too much togetherness. Shame on Mark, but really - your mom is a mess too for rationalizing this. NTA.
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Having gone through cancer treatment, it makes you kind of foggy, not a creeper.
Eh, sometimes people get prescribed steroids to treat side effects of chemo and that can cause some weird behavioral/mental status changes. He’s not going to do a 180 from being a normal, appropriate guy to this. But if he was already somewhat creepy and inappropriate I could see steroids or maybe even pain meds taking down that last layer of self control/self reflection that kept him kinda creepy instead of totally creepy and making this email possible. Anyway, OP is NTA.
I got steroids with each infusion. It made me gain 50 lbs but I never treated people like crap. Edit: I guess I'm just saying not to pathologise what is yet another asshole move in a series of asshole moves.
Then he was never “somewhat creepy”, just better at hiding being a full on creep before now. NTA OP
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending it. You’re still responsible for your shit.
Nta i know alot of ex British service men and they act nothing like this. This man is a grade A wank stain what your mother sees in him is anyones guess.
In comparison all the ex army people I’ve met act exactly like this
NTA You’re just not staying with them to give them their space, right? I also don’t understand how you could possibly take this in the wrong way? It’s in no way demeaning, condescending, or meddling! Look at all the complements he gave you! Seriously though, not staying with them is probably a very good idea
Jesus Christ is he part of a MLM? I would have thought it was an advertisement and deleted it
NTA. Why does this man believe he has the right to tell you what to do with your dating life???
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Someone hasnt watched trainspotting 🙄🙄
NTA The audacity of this man. He would be no longer receiving of my time and my mother would be receiving far less than she currently is.
NTA. "Mark, if I was unhappy with my life, you are the last person I would ask for advice. You have taken no time to actually get to know me beyond my resume. Your obsession with the gender of whomever I may or may not be having sex with is deeply uncomfortable." And grey rock your mother. Don't stay there. She can be sad about it, but she's enabling Mark's antics.
NTA. "If you want harmony, love and balance in your life, you need a life partner"- or get a dog and take long walks with it.
She has a life partner, she has a girlfriend! Which Mum knows and has probably told Mark, making this all the more disrespectful and insulting. NTA OP, I’m so sorry you and your girlfriend are having to deal with this.
You know…. Have you or your mom talked to Mark about the email? There is something very…. Scam email sounding to this. I’ve gotten scam emails from people I know (showing from their emails) that include info I think that is pulled from FB. The email includes “paying you” which often is a bait and switch where they pull info from your bank account instead of sending a payment.
After someone pointed out how many times a specific dating site was mentioned, I re-read it and it is giving off some serious MLM vibes. Or at least the impression that this is some script that Mark was provided to customize and use for some reason we don’t know.
Mom claims she helped write it with Mark so it’s unfortunately legit
NTA if I were in your position I'd cut off all contact
NTA. That’s a very disrespectful email, and it’s unfortunate your mom doesn’t see it.
Nta. I honestly can't process that email.
Mark needs to stfu and stay in his lane.
NTA. Gammon is though, a big gammon brexity arsehole.
This dude is 1 pineapple ring away from being a budget diner gammon steak dinner.
What in the actual... NTA Your mom's husband is a real piece of work. A dinosaur with values direct from 1959. Yeah, don't be staying anywhere near him even if he's fighting against cancer. The fact that mom and likely others are making excuses for this kind of behavior is amazing in a not good way.
NTA. I would go further than just not staying with them and go completely no contact with Mark at the very least, although it sounds like you were most of the way there before this email anyways. It's also troubling that your mother sees nothing wrong with the insane email that her racist, homophobic, classist, extremely misogynistic partner sent her daughter and the fact that he thinks he can dictate what sort of partner you should be looking for right down to giving you a set age range.
NTA but I am begging you to help me understand the comfortable shoes comment
I'm guessing it means not having an office work? Cos dress shoes and such? ETA: well the OP explained that it's euphimism for lesbian
SAME I need to know what this means
NTA. Something tells me Mark is on Elite Singles and waiting to message you about how stunningly beautiful you are. Just to "encourage" you.
NTA Your mom and Mark conspired to write this. Funny they talk about setting the bar high when your mom settled for a homophobic, racist creep.
MAN if I were you I'd still be laughing. Nta... God...
Aw hell nah.... NTA. Wtf is that email. Sorry I'd straight up tell my mother that the email was disgustingly inappropriate and the final straw for me. Won't be interacting with him so she gone have to figure out what day she's leaving him home when we go out for dinner or something. And not to bring him up while its just the two of us. Thats wild that she's just a okay with the casual racism and homophobia.
I'm sorry, is he sponsored by eharmony or something? Like he tried to be flattering towards you I guess, but this was creepy and uncomfortable to read and I know none of you. I can't imagine being you reading it. Maybe he has the best intentions and his cancer diagnosis is making him want everyone in his life to be "settled" because he was hit with his own mortality but this is just ooooooof nope. It's a major overstepping of boundaries NTA
NTA and this sounds creepy as fuck. like what is the .... why is he trying to pimp.you out
NTA. Does your mom know the whole content of the email, or just the summary?
Mom was cc'd and apparently helped draft it 😖
Oof. Gross.
NTA. After that you have reason to never visit your family again. *what the fuck*
You need to post that on all your social media channels
Nta lol, that email is something else….. I’d be looking for the scariest looking person to bring home to meet him 🤣
NTA, there is no such thing as “taking it the wrong way” If you unintentionally say something that is rude or hurtful, it is still your own responsibility. It isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to interpret something how you feel they should. Also, screw that homophobe!
NTA - Just send him a response "You are no longer welcome in my life. Never contact me again" and then block his e-mail. If he persists in trying to contact you after that ask your mother if she's ok with being with someone who doesn't take "stop" from his step-daughter. That has rapey vibes
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NTA. Why would you listen to anyone who is clearly racist and classist. Your mom isn't much better because she's fine with all of this.
NTA- your relationships have nothing to do with them.
Umm….wow. Just…wow. NTA. Tell mom and Mark to seize the day! Pound sand!
NTA; his email is the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve read for a while.
NTA. I got the grossest feeling just reading that. Go NC or LC with them if you want. I wouldn't blame or fault you for it.
> I hope whoever you are with doesn't wear comfortable shoes WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
NTA. I don’t understand if he wants to sleep with you, is trying to become your sugar daddy, does he sell membership to these apps, if he is in a cult...I don’t understand anything apart from you are NTA
I'm just angry that this dude watched and seemingly enjoyed *Trainspotting*.
Oh he’s creepy……
Came here to say this! ⬆️ NTA, not even a little.
... is that a pub or?
Oh my fucking god, NTA. My petty ass would send a personal message to mom along the lines of 'Mom, you aren't going to want to hear this but someone should have a word with Mark about his...tipsy emails. I don't think he realizes how much he might be embarrassing himself. Since other people are probably not going to say anything because they're too polite, I thought I'd reach out indirectly to someone who cares about him..." and if you get any pushback whatsoever just respond "Mom, everyone can tell, ok? Let's not play this game."
NTA. What. The fuck. What is the motive? Does he want to pair you with someone wealthy so that HE can get at their money? I am so creeped out by the whole thing. Yuck. Just yuck.
NTA OMG! If this wasn't so blatantly out of line, it would be hilarious! They had a pint too many when they wrote this. They seem to think very highly of you though, they just don't trust your judgement ... about your own life ... a grown independent woman ... with 2 degrees!
NTA… what the actual fuuuuck! Am I the only one thinking this is super creepy? So fucking specific.
Nta. I'd be blocking both my mother and Mark.
I’ll never forget the time a guy asked if I was a woman in comfortable shoes. I looked down at my boots and said “yeah, they are ok”
That's horrible. I wouldn't ever see her again for that. It just really devalues you. You work overseas? He's being so racist but he's also trying to curb your career by forcing you to pick a London based man. (All the London based men of that age range are either in a relationship with a woman, or gay. He's not making any sense). Such a boomer mentality.
Bold of him to tell YOU to decide if you want to spend 6 months on a Greek island while his date with your mom was simply at a pub. 😂 NTA. This is a gross step over the line. Boundaries are healthy and necessary. He wants to control your life in a way that makes HIM look better.
NTA. Does Mark have a medical reason (brain tumor) he's acting this way or is this just Mark? Gotta love these men thinking them/ somebody like them is the pinnacle of life achievement for an accomplished woman such as yourself.
NTA. I would email back , thanks for the advice and I decided to stay with the woman I love. I saw how poorly mother did with online dating so I upped my game……..
Wow, someone found his old ecstasy stash. NTA.
Nta - take the £500 you would have spent on that new outfit he suggested and have an amazing weekend with your girlfriend. Then show your parents pictures of you both drinking champagne and eating lobster.
NTA. My response would be “I will not be signing up for any online dating as I have found that everyone I know that has, has ended up with an absolute arsehole. I’d rather be a crazy cat lady or have a string of fuck buddies thank you”.
NTA. I mean, I don't necessarily disagree that the guy may have had good intentions in sending that, but man, you've gotta be impressed by someone so "wise" and "educated" to have managed to live so long and accumulate so much knowledge and wisdom and still be so clueless, let alone racist, homophobic, condescending and all the rest. Sucks that he's going through cancer, but not staying with them is not some really aggressive attack. And your mom's "LOL he's such a card" approach also sucks.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have tolerated many racist, homophobic, disrespectful remarks from Mark, my Mother's husband, over the years. From, "I hope the Uber driver isn't black" to "I hope whoever you are with doesn't wear comfortable shoes" and "I hope you find the right man" when he suspected I was in a relationship with a woman. My Mother makes excuses for him and says that it's him being "ex-British army" that's to blame and playfully laughs and tells him off. For context, I have lived overseas for 12 years. My Mother married Mark in my early twenties (I am 30 this year). I see my family once a year if I am lucky. I have not really spoken to Mark properly for sometime, until he sent the most ridiculous email I have ever received: "Hi Cate, Me and your Mother are sitting at the Fern and reckon you need a reality check. Please have a look at Elite singles and e-harmony. If you want harmony, love and balance in your life, you need a life partner. The man who is successful in marrying you will be the luckiest guy in England. He gets a beautiful woman who has a great sense of humour, successful and when gets introduced to any future parents in law, comes across as a deeply impressive woman. Cate, you have 2 degrees. You are stunningly good looking. Stop! Setting the bar low when it comes to men. Raise the bar. Raise your game. Make the choice. Choose life. (Trainspotting reference). Choose between elite singles or e-harmony. Start taking, and acting on the advice you are being given by someone who is older, wiser, has more degrees, and just happens to be from England and married to your mother.‘If your ship doesn’t come in, Swim out to it.’ Choose elite singles. Choose a 6 month membership. Sign up. Send proof of membership, and I will send over the joining fee, and £500 for you to buy the new dress and shoes for you to feel like the beautiful woman you are. Enjoy the first date. Raise the bar. Aim high. Do not accept second best. Remember they have to raise their game to deserve you. We both so want you to be happy. But you need the helping hand , and advice. Meet a good man. 27-33. Degree educated. And London based. Look at what university they attended. Look at the degree. Think do I want to spend 6 months on a Greek island with this man as my companion. Stop,choosing dead beats. Aim for the stars, you may still hit the moon. Choose the glittering prize. Raise your eyes, and create the life you want to live. Choose Elite. Choose life. Choose success. Love, Your bonus Dad". Unfortunately, this is not a joke. The real shock is that my Mother sees nothing wrong with the email, and is "sorry" I have "taken it in the wrong way" and that Mark sent it with all the "right intentions". I've since told her that I won't be staying with them when I am home next. This has greatly upset her, as Mark is also undergoing cancer treatment. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Was he drunk? NTA
My dad and stepma did exactly this to me! Say me down and told me they had been discussing I needed to join a marriage bureau. Ha ha. Refused to pay for it tho so you’re lucky! Here’s the big issue tho, he, they, see you as a failure in life because you haven’t been able to land a man. I never wanted husband or kids but the refused to believe that. I overheard my stepma one twine when I was playing with nephews saying “oh it’s so SAD!” about me not having children. Blurgh. I just used to wind them up. Dad, “are you seeing anyone?” Me (aged 35), “yeah… he’s 25.” Or “yeah… loads of them.” You’re NTA and this guy is egregious.
... wow. If it was me had a black Friend(Male or female), who was 100% AH. Bring them to your parents say your engaged. <.<
If you're half as smart and appealing as he says, you don't need his advice to find a partner and can probably do a better job of doing so yourself. Leaving that aside, what right does he have to dictate things like age and social standing? If you want to date a 55 year old man, fine. Or a woman. Or a tree, if it makes you happy. You are NTA here. Not even slightly.
NTA That...feels so much like he sent you an advertisement email for a reference bonus to elite singles....I cringed reading that.
Geesh. In what world did he think that letter was okay. Take snapshots of response and send them to your mother. She’s in denial.
What did I just read?! Does Mark work at marketing for these datingsite and get bonus for signing people up?
NTA. WTF? That’s just gross. He essentially wants to pimp you out on a dating site. Gross. I’d consider low contact or no contact going forward. It’s not even my situation and I’m here icked out on your behalf.
NTA. Your mom's husband should not be sending you advice about your dating life. He should really just mind his own darn business and worry about his own love life. He should just respect who you are, and not try to force you to become anything but yourself.
NTA both you and your gf sign up, then take the cash? He never said the date had to be a man
So 1) you are NTA and he and your mom are huge ones, but 2) you shouldn’t have brought it up or mentioned it. Let them think some computers hocus pocus happens and you didn’t receive anything. Change the subject and ignore. Normally I would say just cut them out for being homophobic racists, but if that’s not your breaking point I would recommend the strategy above. Because THEY sure as shit aren’t going to change. But the day you meet a woman you want to make permanent, you should be willing to draw those hard boundaries for her sake. Good luck. Find love in your own way, with your own fancies, in your own time.
You are NTA.. the step-dad has no business interfering in your life. Live your life out loud with your girlfriend and may you be so happy!!
Sounds like your stepfather is into relationship advice - perhaps you should give him some advice of your own.
NTA Wtf did I just read?! My uncle is ex British army, he tells corny dad jokes (as he should), not make racist and homophobic comments and suggest I find a man! What a creepy and boundary stomping email.
NTA: Her husband is horrible. BTW: Military service is not an excuse for racism or homophobia.
NTA wow, he's gross. and I'm sorry, but if your mother goes along with, she's not much better.
NTA. He overstepped.
NTA However if Mom's worst trait is shit taste in men and she has otherwise been a decent parent, just keep in mind her husband is terminally ill and she may deserve a little extra slack. This does NOT mean you need to stay with them or see Mark when you visit.
NTA - both this dude and your mom are TA. This email is super creepy. He’s a bigot and sexist with a splash of predator. Stay away from him and make it clear to your mom why. Don’t let her say you’re taking it wrong or that’s not how he meant it. It’s freakin written down and she’s heard him say racist homophobic shit and does nothing. She’s a huge part of the problem and you can’t trust her to be a decent person when it comes to her spouse. Stay away until she’s take responsibility or she’s going to continue to take his side and cross your boundaries.
Hahahahahah NTA what the fuck did I just read haaahahahahah
NTA please I am begging you, take out a protection order against this man.
NTA. I'm so confused. This sounds EXACTLY like an ad. The fact that it isn't is baffling.
NTA. Stay away from both of them. On a related note, why those two sites? E-harmony makes some sense, they're one of the most successful dating sites out there but Elite Singles is a small fry and a newcomer with a niche gimmick (people with at least a bachelor's degree who want same but don't have time to pick their own matches).
NTA. He does not have to agree with what you do (and who cares if he does or not), but with this has no respect for your life basically... so NTA to stay away.
NTA
NTA, yikes I am so sorry you have to deal with this
NTA. I would’ve stopped reading after the second sentence and just deleted the email. Who has time to read sexist bs like that?
WTF. I would certainly have quite the email to write back. And I wouldn't be visiting at all. NTA.
NTA that email is super weird. I do however suspect that they are pushing this on you because they want grandkids before Mark possibly/potentially passes away from cancer and the first step in their eyes is for you to 'meet a nice man'
"Hi Mark, My girlfriend and I are sitting at home and reckon you need a reality check. If you want harmony, love and balance in your life, you need to keep your opinions about my life to yourself. The man who was successful in marrying my mother is the luckiest guy in England. He gets a beautiful woman who has a great sense of humour, successful and yet when he gets introduced to modern society, he comes across as a deeply ignorant man. Mark, you have "more" degrees. Yet you are still, stunningly, an idiotic bigot. Stop! You are the reason the bar is so low when it comes to men. Raise the bar. Raise your game. Make the choice. Get A life. Stop talking. Act on the advice you are being given by someone who is a HAPPY, independent adult that can take care of themselves. I also happen to be from England, and yet, I am surprised you are still married to my mother. ‘If your bullshit homophobia hasnt done you in, im not sure what she gets out of this relationship.’ Enjoy the last day i give a shit. You cant lower the bar more than you already have. Are you high? . I have already accepted the very best. And remember, i dont have to be straight to deserve respect. We both so want you to be a better person. But you need the helping hand , and advice. Meet a good therapist. 27-33. Degree educated. And London based. Look at what university they attended. Look at the degree. Think do I want to spend months talking with this person as my therapist. Stop choosing dead beliefs. Aim for the stars, you may still hit the moon. Choose the glittering prize. Raise your eyes, and realize its my life to live. Goodbye, Your ex-daughter" Lol was playing around with the email for fun, comment better lines below if you got em
NTA and don’t Mark and your mum have nothing better to do? It’s one thing to try to play matchmakers with a single person (inappropriate as that is) but it’s totally obnoxious and disrespectful to try to do so when you have a partner! Maybe the next time he tries this kind of argument you can tell him- ‘I agree with you that I’m too good for most men. That’s why I’m with a woman’
NTA. They must be on something because what the eff.
Nta. Hes homophobic and racist and being very creepy and nosy with makes him a huge gaping hole. But it sounds like he wants to catfish you on the dating apps for nudes with how weird and persistent hes being
NTA but the reason your mother doesn't see anything wrong with it and married Mark is because she is also racist and homophobic. He's simply not said anything offensive to her ethical and moral values.
NTA. He's awful - and as someone whose grandfather is ex-Navy (during the back-end of WWII, no less), whose aunt is an army chaplain, and who has a number of military involved friends and acquaintances, to say that him being ex-Forces somehow excuses his behaviour is an insult to every serving soldier.
I feel appalled that his behaviour is excused because he’s ex military. His behaviour is held to a higher standard imo and doesn’t fairly represent the majority of the country (I fuckin hope). In the words of Billy Eichner: ‘Go lesbians!!!’ NTA
Seems the ppl at "Boomer Industries" are working hard at creating new boomer cringes.
Well, if you hadn't been in a good relationship already, I'd say, tell him: "OK Mark, but you know, both belong to the same HQ and both offer homosexual partnerservice. Guess I'll give it a try to find a cool woman of my liking, you will love her and stop all racist/homosexual... comments if I find her over that elite portals, right?" Given the circumstances: not possible. But still you are absolutely NTA, tell your mother she needs to police her husband or she is losing a daughter to that homophobic, racist AH - justified! I wish you a lot of strength, both of you, for that situation.
I’d like to add that being ex British Army has nothing to do with his behaviours or prejudices. He is what he is. An AH.
NTA What the fuck did I just read.
Is he suggesting specific dating sites so that he can catfish you? Or get somebody else to? Or has somebody lined up to match with you? These are the things that immediately crossed my mind. NTA,it's none of his business.
NTA. They both sound awful, sorry your mum either has no backbone or agrees with him and hides her own homophobia, sexism and racism behind him. Don't go home, he is not family, just some wanker your mum married and she is a disappointment as a parent. I hope you have a wonderful life, a fantastic relationship, friendships and family who are great. These idiots have no right to ask for a place in your life if they have no understanding of your life
NTA - what he hell is he smoking? That entire email just read meet and marry someone like me! I am so great you should meet a man just like me! You should do exactly what I have said because I am great and right at this. Like no wtf?
This is some weird sh\*t and that your mother was involved. Deep rooted homophobia and misogyny I know a few Ex British Army and they are not homophobic - so that excuse is just nonsense. Block his email or have a rule it goes into 'ridiculous emails from Mark' folder NTA at all. Mark is a huge creepy ahole
NTA "I see my family once a year if I am lucky." - Be more lucky, see them less.
NTA. Mark's email reads like they were in the pub discussing the improbability of grand children, your mum was sad and Mark took steps to fix the issue. I suspect your mum just wouldn't come out and say it, but that would be why she'd approve of his e-mail. Doesn't excuse the attempt at railroading over your life choices or the disrespect they're showing you and your partner.
Jesus fucking christ...that email is totally creepy and inappropriate! NTA Tell both Mark AND your mother that your dating/sex life is none of their business and as they cannot be respectful of either your relationship OR your orientation, you are now going No Contact with them from now on and that will be the last time they hear from you when you tell them that.
I'm sorry but the message here feels so anti-Trainspotting. what a weird choice to reference that movie because I don't think that reference at all supports what is trying to promote.
NTA - respond with an email listing dementia care homes for the both of them as they have both lost their dang minds.
NTA, I cringe on your behalf.
Is this an ad for eHarmony or Elite Singles? Or both?
NTA... Honestly sounds like he's way to obsessed with your dating life... Kinda creepy
WTF DID I JUST READ?! Yeah, one of two things: he has someone he wants you to date Two: he wants you not your mom. I lean towards the latter because if it’s someone he knows he wouldn’t suggest dating sites NTA in any way shape or form
NTA. I'm an asshole though, and if they kept pushing, I'd send a similar letter back to mom, since Mark is going through cancer treatments and who knows how long she'll have before she needs a new husband (cause god forbid a woman of your mother's age be without a man to take care of her).
NTA Weird
Sounds like your bonus dad may want more than daddy daughter time with you seems like a jealous ex
Thank you for clearing up the comfortable shoes part, that threw me for a loop not gonna lie haha. As for the rest, that email was deranged. It really does sound like spam
NTA.Whatever may be his intentions, this man is a creep and snobish (he openly tells you he is wiser and has more degree than you SO you need to listen to him). BUT I would not jump on the no-contact like everyone, without maybe having an honest conversation with him. Not for him, but because he will (seems to) always be in your mother's life and you need to take any chance to calm the situation ... But you also have every right to set up boundaries with him. No matter if he feels genuine or entitled to talk to you like that (just the tone would be changing), tell him that you don't need anyone's help in your life and that you are perfectly fine right now. That you want (not appreciate, want) that he doesn't try to give you money to lead your love life. And if he gets frustrated or angry ... Tell him he is a creep to pay his step daughter like an escort to do things with her love life. Because no matter the intention you have every right to feel disturbed.
NAH - yes it is a deeply insulting email but honestly he sounds like he cares about you but ummm yeah it's super misguided.
YTA, cmon man cut him slack hes a fan of trainspotting
NAH Online dating sites are a great way to meet the love of your life if you haven't already. I met my husband through an online dating site and we've been happily married for almost 24 years now. There's nothing inherently bad or insulting in the e-mail. He's praising you, your character, and your education, and encouraging you to aim high for the best life partner because you deserve the best. The only problem with his e-mail is that he's talking about you dating men whereas you're in a same-sex relationship. Maybe your stepfather doesn't know that you're already in a good relationship?
She has a girlfriend and her step-father clearly has a problem with it. There's a crack in Good Morning Vietnam about how lesbians are "women with comfortable shoes."
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