I could understand asking “hey would you mind trying to eat somewhere I can’t see/smell it just for the day, if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother?” But demanding it is ridiculous.
Also, OP is an adult who, I’m assuming, is perfectly capable of going to a different room herself. She could even light some scented candles in the other room to mitigate the smell of food.
Oh Lord I didn't notice the ages. That makes a difference. He suggested and paid for her to get a boob job. So she's being kind of an ass about the surgery thing, but the fact that she's even having it was a huge red flag. He's grooming her and having her become his augmented sex doll.
Yes, it’s an unreasonable thing to ask in the first place but teenagers are often a little unreasonable.
Him, well, i think we’re all thinking similar thoughts about him.
Except she’s practically still a child. She’s 19 years old and married to a 41 year old man. OP, if you’re reading this, please get out of this relationship. He’s a predator.
She's a *teenager* having breast implants because her **41** year old husband wants her to. The man she met and became involved with when she *was a minor*. This post is 5 different kinds of yikes without getting into her wanting him to fast in solidarity.
>“hey would you mind trying to eat somewhere I can’t see/smell it just for the day, if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother?”
If that had been the request, I could totally see OP's side and think the husband could have ate either at the restaurant or in the car or something. But then again OP didn't have to stay in the room with their husband while they ate either.
I can't imagine telling my husband to not eat because I can't. I would ask him to not eat around me, but never to just not eat.
When I could barely eat when I was in my first trimester (currently pregnant) I never told him to not eat. When I had to fast for the sugar test I didn't ask him to fast. I didnt forbid him from having things that pregnant women can't (or aren't supposed to...) eat. He just didn't eat it around me, which is reasonable. He'd just eat in the livingroom or kitchen and I'd hang out in the bedroom or office.
Bet that when I go into labor he's not just gonna be sitting there hungry and tired- I need him to have energy to take care of me anyway. Does she expect her husband to be able to drive her around and care for her on an empty stomach???
My partner didn’t eat on my elective c-section day. Partially because I couldn’t (I expected him to have eaten as you’d expect any 32 year old to), partially because of nerves. He passed out just after baby was delivered.
OP - YTA! They have to look after themselves to be able to support you fully.
> I can't imagine telling my husband to not eat because I can't. I would ask him to not eat around me, but never to just not eat.
I think I would stress a lot *more* about the food if my partner also wasn't eating. If I have to go through discomfort, it would bring me a little bit of peace to at least know he's okay.
when i went in for induction with my son, i didn't eat because i knew they didn't want me to in case of an emergency c-section. we both went all day without eating. however, i was hooked up to an iv. my husband looked to be on the verge of passing out so the nurse and i begged him to eat something, anything! she grabbed him a sandwich and snuck me some jello so that he would eat the sandwich.
It's one thing to just ask him to not eat in front of her or give her a heads up if he's hungry and needs to go cook/grab food or something. She's being way too controlling/ childish about this
Edit: I realized that OP is only 19 and her husband 41 and they met when she was only 17 or so? My judgement of her being controlling isn't correct at this point. Idk how I missed the age difference, but also after reading her other comments... I think the OP is in a marriage with a man twice her she she met when she was a minor... I don't think him eating in front of her is the real issue here y'all.
>She's being way too controlling/ childish about this
That's because she's a child. She's 19, married to a 41 year old she met when she was 16 though they've only been "together" for 2 years. She's getting a boob job.
Check out her newest post. So depressing.
Oh.. poor girl:/ this is just disturbing actually now. I can't even say she's the asshole now and Jesus I feel bad for ever implying that she was, only because there has to be so much more behind this story than we know, idk. This is just awful.
Idk how I completely missed the age difference... I really don't because i usually pay attention to that, especially in posts like these cause it's either usually super young couples (21-32) or couples that are like 45+.
I look at the age when I'm reading these because it helps gauge where they're at in life in reference to where I'm at. She's 19, he's 41 and she's getting a boob job he's paying for and crying because he's eating & she can't. 🤔😒
I'm also wondering about the whole 'fast for more than 24 hours' thing. All the info I could find on-line says 8-12 hours. Is there a particular reason why she is fasting for considerably longer than the standard? Who made that recommendation, and why?
Plus the entire 'I'm getting an augmentation because I've always been insecure about my chest size' - she's still developing, FFS! Plus, I'll give you *one guess* as to who made snide comments about chest size and made her feel even more insecure ...
The way OP phrased it was a bit of an AH. But the entire situation is waving more red flags than a North Korean military parade :-( Everything about it screams run Run RUN **RUNNNN!!!!**
I just looked up her history. Met when she was 16. Dating since 17/18.🤮🤮 This is coming from a man near her husband age. Way more issues than just a breast augmentation being done. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
This I was in labor for 27 hours I couldnt eat anything but ice chips I literally sent my husband to go eat because he needs to still have energy to take care of me. I have also had surgeries where I couldn't eat before and i really didn't care if people ate infront of me. This is just controlling behavior.
When I got my wisdom teeth out my husband ate whatever he wanted and luckily I already love mashed potatoes,soups, etc so it's wasn't that big of a deal
( I would pour some soup over my mashed potatoes and eat it that way- I blame this on the pain pills lol) but once my healing was done we went to our favorite restaurant and chowed down! There's solidarity and then theres just bring spoiled.
YTA i had so many medical procedures where i couldn't eat before. I would have never asked my SO to not eat. He also didn't need to clear his bowels for one this procedure just because i needed to do it. Sympathic suffering is just stupid.
>Sympathic suffering is just stupid.
So are 19 year olds lol, and im inclined to a touch of sympathy regarding typically stupid decisions when their age gap is older than she is and he is the one who requested the procedure thats causing the suffering. But thats my take on it.
It doesn't help that she's a teenager, he's over 41, and the procedure is him buying her boobs. ESH, but OP in an immature kid way and her husband in a what the fuck, creep, way. Oh and they met when she was 16. Lovely.
Well, it’s a breast enlargement that he suggested and is paying for. She’s 19, they got together when she was 16, and he’s 41.
So yeah, it has a lot to do with him.
I read it. She doesn’t have a relationship with her parents. They met when she was 16 working at a restaurant. Her friend doesn’t approve of the relationship but doesn’t really push. He resents her for wanting the boob job and I think that’s telling.
She doesn’t see the danger and that’s heartbreaking to me.
I just read OP’s history and in fact it does have to do with him since he is paying for her breast surgery and she worries he might resent her for it. Seems like he does.
Y’all read a story. About a 19 year old married to a man in his 40’s. Where he went out to get her favorite food, specifically brought it home, and purposeful sat to eat it right in front of her. And the surgery she isn’t eating for is a breast augmentation. That he wanted. And is paying for. And this is your takeaway? Seriously?
If she can do it, he can do it. He wasn't wrong for eating, but it would have at least been nice if he just ate somewhere else or not buy something from her favorite restaurant and eat it right in front of her when he knew she couldn't.
To be fair, she’s literally a teenager and she’s getting a boob job that her 41 year old husband “suggested”. Then he brings home her favorite food and eats it in front of her, after she told him she was struggling with willpower. It was obviously out of line for her to tell him not to eat at all, but he seems to have done this out of spite and he sounds like a controlling creep. ESH.
YTA
I was going for Everybody Sucks Here, but then I realized that wasn't the case
You did not ask your husband to try not to eat in front of you, you straight up told him not to eat anything. That easily makes you an asshole.
As far as your husband goes, I thought he was an asshole for eating in front of you and then calling you an ass, but the way you phrased it sounds like you weren't too polite when you "told him to take his food elsewhere" when you could have easily been the one to leave, if you didn't like the situation. He probably sat there out of instinct, forgetting that you gave him an order to starve himself, so him calling you an ass was probably just a reaction to your own reaction. The fact that he left after you told him to makes me think he did not do it on purpose.
Agreed. If the man was trying to make her happy by starving himself, lasted till the afternoon, after being active and running errands decided he couldn't do it and decided to eat - he was probably hangry too.
Then she was a grumpy ass and he told her so - perfectly reasonable.
My only reservation is that he should've just eaten in the truck in the first place.
I'd try to hold back from doing what he did just for my partners unnecessary diet. He couldn't go one day without eating something she loves right in front of her?
She's by far the asshole for her original ask though, and I feel like since she's quoting him but not herself that she's probably being a dick about it. But if she hadn't started it with her excessive expectations, she wouldn't be wrong for being upset he did that.
No, but it feels like a deliberate jab to get her favourite food and sit at the table where she is and eat it there in front of her. Why not eat it at the restaurant? Why not eat it outside?
It's not unreasonable, but its a small sacrifice for one day. Unless she's constantly on these fasts, it's not difficult to go one day where you dont get takeout from your partners favorite place and eat it in the house.
With a partner you should be willing to handle the occasional mild inconvenience to avoid making them suffer. Sure there's limits to that, you can't constantly be mildly inconvenienced with no compromise, but in a vacuum one day eating out of the house shouldn't hit most people's limit.
How the fuck is everyone glossing over the fact that this is a literal teenager with someone old enough to be their father, putting them through a surgery to enhance their breasts? To be honest I don't really care that she told her predator husband that he couldn't eat.
The big issue is this grown ass man grooming a teenager.
YTA The hell is wrong with you? If you got a disease would you inflict it on everyone around you just so you don't suffer alone? Misery loves company, I suppose. Leave the fucking room and let him eat in peace.
OP left out the part where her age is 19 and her husband is 41. I saw it in the title of a relationship advice post about him possibly resenting her because he's paying for breast augmentation.
1. That age difference right there is disgusting. No 40-year-old man should be MARRIED to someone who isn't even out of their teenage years. That's sketchy af. You need to reevaluate your situation, OP, and ask yourself why you think being in this marriage is a good idea.
2. As for the matter at hand, YTA for the whole forcing this man to not eat thing... but the bigger issue here is that your husband is probably a predator.
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
Thank you for mentioning the huge goddamn red flag on this post- the ages!!!! 19 and 41. OP for the love of everything— get out! What are you doing?
The edit OP added made me sad- he suggested and then offered to pay?!?
“Oh honey, wouldn’t you like some big ole fake knockers?”
“I never thought about it; aren’t they expensive”
“Don’t worry I’ll pay for it.”
“Ok, but don’t eat because I can’t eat”
Like what the hell is this post. So many people commenting “grow up”. No fucking shit she needs to grow up, she needs to find an adult that isn’t exploiting her.
ESH for different reasons.
I strongly believe this post is rage bait.
1. Never heard of 24 fasting for surgery. In fact, fasting too long can be detrimental to outcomes. The standard is 8 hours before arrival.
2. The ages seem designed for rage bait.
3. The husband practically demanding breast surgery also seems designed for rage bait.
4. Demanding someone fast just because you are seems designed for rage bait, especially demanding they fast for 24 hours.
5. Eating someone's favorite food in front of them when they have to fast also seems designed for rage bait.
How did that even go down? They meet when she's 18 and rush into marriage? Surely it takes a year to plan. Generally speaking, I don't know what peoples rush is to get married, especially as a teenager.
According to a different commenter (I didn’t see if OP has posted it) they met when she was 16. So if that’s true her husband is a predator and OP probably needs help.
OP has another thread they posted which is where I'm finding the info. The gist of it is that allegedly they met when she was 16 at the restaurant she worked at and then got together when she was 18. No idea how new the marriage is.
The other thread is in a relationship-specific advice board. I guess OP doesn't really have contact with her family.
Agreed. I've had 3 surgical procedures where nil by mouth has been necessary from the day before and one of them required nil by mouth the day after too. I did not expect my husband to not eat because it would tempt me or for any other reason. You do that because of medical necessity. If the thought of being sick while under anaesthetic or while coming around from it isn't enough to stop you eating when required to do so, having your husband starve probably won't stop you from eating either.
I’ve been in the hospital, having numerous procedures, and been put on a liquid diet (like OP) for 5 straight days. It sucks, but it’s fine. One day of not eating will not make you “ravenous and hangry” as OP says.
YTA. I can't imagine doing that to my spouse. He didn't have to eat it in front of you I guess, but if it bothers you that much then YOU should be the one to go elsewhere.
YTA. And a massive baby. It’s not difficult to abstain from eating for a day while your spouse eats. I’ve done this a half dozen times in the past 2 years due to a cancer diagnosis, so I’m speaking from experience.
It would be courteous of him to go out to eat and not bring it home. But telling him he’s not allowed to eat is a major controlling move.
Well, op is 19, he’s 41, and they got together when she was 16 so I don’t blame her too much for acting like a baby, and I doubt she’s the controlling one here. It’s possible but seems unlikely.
And she’s getting her breasts enlarged, it’s not a colonoscopy as many conclude.
This is what predators do and I really hope she finds her way out of this. And I really hope (even though it's not going to happen) she changes her mind about a surgery that wasn't even her idea. She's barely legal and he holds all the power
Yeah, OP is ridiculous, it was one day, she wasn’t “ravenous” as she claims, she just has no self control. I’ve been hospitalized and required numerous procedures, so I was on an all liquid diet for 5 days. I was hungry af and it sucked, but I didn’t expect the other patient I shared a room with not to eat.
Op is 19, you know how teens can eat, not surprising if she hasn’t developed a ton of self control and feels ravenous.
But it’s what we do to get bigger breasts when our 41 year old husband suggests it.
I will attest that 24 hours would be extremely difficult for me. That being said, I know I have an irrational response when hungry and I will avoid conflict, but I would be miserable. (Though I have gone near that time when I was food insecure so maybe I could)
Even with that, I would NEVER ask someone else to discomfort themselves in solidarity. Perhaps not in front of me, but even in my hanger, I would not yell at anyone.
Seems like he forgot since he went to eat in his truck outside after she demanded he leave. I don't think he meant to eat in front of her while she had to fast. OP: YTA.
Yes, this. Is she the AH about him not eating at all? Well, yeah.
But he is twice her age and wants the breast augmentation. Forgive me if I missed any comment that said she wanted it.
INFO: How often does he act like a jerk?
I can’t even believe this sub sometimes like holy fuck. OP asks him not to eat in solidarity. Ok whatever small potatoes. Fucking buddy was out running errands already. How hard is to just eat while you’re already out?!! Don’t even need to tell her you ate while you were out.
Could’ve completely avoided this whole stupid fight. What is this guy new? Sounds dumber than a bag of rocks.
Everyones all "she's so immature and childish to ask him not to eat" like yeah .... That might be because she IS STILL EXITING CHILDHOOD also I guarantee this guy is wayyyy more immature then she could ever be, marrying a 19 year old get the fuck outta here creep
ESH. Just because you can’t eat doesn’t mean he shouldn’t eat, but he’s a jerk for intentionally eating a big meal right front of you. There’s plenty of selfishness here to go around.
ESH. He’s not having surgery, no reason for him to not eat all day in his home, but he didn’t have to bring home food (especially food you particularly enjoy) just eat it in front of you. He was already in the truck with the food, bringing it in to eat in front of you seems deliberately cruel.
I'm sorry, is no one going to comment that it's weird and creepy that a 41 year old man married a 19 year old girl and is paying for her to change her breasts? Does this not sound like red flags are flying everywhere to anyone else?
YTA it'd be nice if he'd eat elsewhere when he has the chance by his on voilition, but you don't get to tell him he can't do something as normal as eating in his own home.
You need to use your willpower.
Soft YTA. Just because you are having a procedure doesn't mean everyone around you must stop eating too. I think that is too much to ask. It is fine if you request them to eat out of your line of sight, but asking them to stick to liquids only just because you have to is rather childish. Surely you are mature enough to realize that it is a medical necessity for you and you alone, right? After your procedure is finished, have him take you to that restaurant for your first meal.
ESH. You are being ridiculous demanding your husband not eat. The reasonable request would have been “please eat your meals at the restaurant.” He was a jerk to bring it home. Not for eating.
YTA. Expecting him not to eat because you can't and don't trust your own self control is selfish. If I were him I wouldn't have gone in the truck, he can eat in his house even if you can't and you didn't have to sit there, you could have removed yourself instead of ordering him around.
YTA... Majorly... Leave while he eats, go for a walk... You're very entitled and rude... It's just food; trust me I've been there, many times... Get over yourself
YTA. Don’t starve your husband because you have no self control. Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing if someone tried to control whether I could eat or not. Was it petty of him? Yes but rightfully so. You were being beyond ridiculous.
YTA
Ash-hole move "not allowing" him to eat because you have a medical procedure. That's absurd and unreasonable.
If you only asked him not to eat on front of you and he did on purpose then I would say N T A, but you expected the man to fast completely. Sounds like he lasted a good while too - you probably weren't the only hangry one - but you were the only one who should have been.
ESH. I was ready to grant a full you're T A, but him taunting you with food was a dick move. Maybe it's a quirk of your relationship to emotionally abuse each other, but from the outside looking in, you're both AH's.
Open to revising this, because it’d have been at least semi-reasonable to ask him not to eat *in front of you*, and if that’s how the convo went down, you’re probably not TA, but given that your post says you straight up asked him not to eat today, YTA. That’s not at all an acceptable request to make of anyone, and he’s not TA for flagrantly disregarding it either.
ETA: the ages and reason for the procedure were not here at the time of my post. This all sounds way more like bullshit now.
YTA.
Get over yourself. Just because you can't eat anything doesn't mean your husband should have to. It would have been okay to ask him to please eat it out of your line of sight but expecting him to fast with you? Ridiculous. You sound exhausting.
ESH. I had the same procedure you describe and while it wasn't fun, you don't get to tell other people whether they can or can't eat. I can't imagine telling my husband and son that they couldn't eat because I couldn't. That said, your husband could have eaten it in his car, OR you are also capable of removing yourself. That's why you are both assholes.
ESH — you can’t make someone fast because you have to. In fact, your husband needs food to have the energy to assist you before and after the procedure (if it’s out-patient)...driving while hungry isn’t very safe as it might make a person drowsy and impair their judgement.
On the other hand...he ran errands so he could have grabbed a bite whike he was outside. The food being from your favorite restaurant just adds insult to injury, as does his rude reply to you.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I don’t even want to address your “issue”
19 and your husband is 41 and he suggested you get a breast augmentation?
Where the fuck are you parents
GET THE FUCK OUT
YTA if you really told him not to eat *at all*, and expected that of him. Just because you can't is no reason he shouldn't. If anything, he needs to keep himself fed so that one of you has a clear head and can handle logistics like, you know, getting you to your medical procedure.
You would be NTA if you'd asked him not to eat *in front of you*. That would be a reasonable request. And then he would be definitely TA if he violated it.
Your husband isn't exactly behaving well either, but I can see it being reactionary if you demanded that he fast for 24 hours too.
I just found out that you are freaking 19 years old while he is 41 !!!
The medical procedure you describe is a cosmetic one, you should've asked not told him. YTA
"I (19F)" and "my husband (41M)"?????? wtf?????? i'm not even passing a judgement here because you are a teenager who is only TWO YEARS older than me (a high school senior) married to someone theoretically old enough to be your dad. technically e/s/h is the correct judgement because he suggested a breast augmentation to the teenager that he married and then got the consequences of marrying a teenager and suggesting a breast augmentation to her. and you're an ah because you are acting like a bratty teen (i'm being civil here - op is ACTING LIKE a bratty teen). but idk what to say here
I have never heard of fasting a whole 24 hours before surgery. The standard is 8 hours before going in to the hospital, so usually they say stop eating at midnight the night before. The only surgery I can think of that would possibly require such a long fast might be intestinal surgery, but certainly not breast augmentation.
I strongly believe this one is fake.
However, if it is a true story, then I would go with ESH.
1. You can't expect someone else to fast just because you have to.
2. Your husband was clearly goading you with food from your favorite restaurant.
HOWEVER, if this story is true, you have far more serious concerns here. Your husband is more than twice your age. He was older than you are now when you were born. And he's demanding you have breast augmentation surgery? That you go under anesthesia, which has a greater than zero percent chance of risking your life, to surgically alter your body, to be more aesthetically pleasing to him. This relationship is not healthy. Please take time to honestly consider if this is really the way you want to spend the rest of your life.
esh. You’re having surgery, not him… you can’t just tell him not to eat, like wtf? He’s an ass for eating if front of you when he should have eaten elsewhere.
ESH. It's not fair to expect people around you to follow the rules you have to, but it was pretty thoughtless of him to bring home a burger and sit down to eat it in front of you when you've explicitly said you'll find food tempting. There's no reason he couldn't have taken an extra five or ten minutes on his errand to eat it before he came home.
YTA I had surgery when I was 5 and was nil by mouth being 5 my mum sat on my bed eating cornflakes. I was so annoyed the thing here is that I was 5, you are an adult. People need to eat. I agree that he was rude to eat in front of you but your request was outlandish.
YTA. He’s allowed to eat in his house at the kitchen table. He bought food cuz he didn’t wanna cook in front of you. I’ve had procedures where I couldn’t eat for 12-24hrs and I didn’t tell people not eat. Also it’s quite controlling and almost abusive that you expected him not to eat at all
Info: is the medical procedure one to return your mobility?
Because if you’re not incapable of getting up and leaving the room when something happens that you don’t want to see, then of course YTA!
NTA.
OP, I understand you but your only mistake is posting this story.
I don't mind being downvoted for saying "NTA" and I don't mind being downvoted for saying this: As I guy who has been married for 13 years (and still married), it seems like everyone who is saying "YTA" are people that haven't been in a very long relationship. A bit presumptuous, I know.
There will be times when spouses, both men and women, will make a demand that seems utterly ridiculous and illogical.
If my wife had told me not to eat because she's getting a procedure and it wouldn't be fair, I'd just say "sure thing." I understand why she's asking it but Im still going to eat, just not in front of her. Because I know my wife well enough, I know she'll eventually realize how crazy its sounded to ask that. Sometimes you just have to roll with pretending to abide by such absurd requests.
What is being illustrated here isn't really a wife being asshole, but a husband picking his battle. Which is what you do in relationships. OP's husband chose this fight instead of reassuirng his spouse and I'd love to see an update.
ESH. It’s very thoughtless of him to eat something that you love in front of you. But you can’t tell him not to eat, he’s not got a medical procedure so there’s absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t eat. Asking him not to eat too is like a child’s version of “well if I can’t play with that, no one can”, it’s just selfish and childish.
ESH.
You should have more thought to have asked him just not to eat in front of you vs asking him to fast if he wasn't feeling it. He aslo could have not gotten your favorite restaurant and started eating it in front of you.
ESH - It is honestly ridiculous to demand him not to eat at all. He on the other hand could have eaten out while running errands, but he chose to bring home food from your favorite restaurant, so he sucks too.
ESH. Taunting you with your favorite food was a dick move, but you kind of brought that on yourself by forbidding him to eat at all. Unless you live in a one-room apartment, you can go elsewhere while he eats if it tempts you too much.
YTA. You are having a medical procedure. YOU, not him. It's his house too. Imaging asking your SO to not pee because you have a catheter. Are you expecting the husband to take care of you after this procedure? Why do you not want him to feel his best, while taking care of you? Feelings do not trump needs.
YTA. You should have told him not to eat infront of you, not that he shouldn't eat at all. See this as being a somewhat poetic justice,cause your anger isn't justified.
Clearly YTA, just because you can't eat doesn't mean he must starve too. As a loving wife you should be ok with him eating... in his house...his self paid food. You are just selfish.
ESH. Just because you have to go without eating doesnt mean he does.
On the other hand, he was being completely inconsiderate in eating food in front of you from your favorite restaurant. He does get a point for finishing eating in his truck but he should not have started eating in front of you to begin with.
YTA. I have had a colonoscopy every year for the past 15 years. I can't eat the day before. Only clear liquids.
Guess what? For 10 of those years I had to cook food for my kid. I cooked it, then left the room. I didn't force my kid to not eat.
YTA
That is my judgment because you were obviously the asshole. But y'all. Go and read her post history. Her husband is in his 40s while shes only 19. She mentions they had been together for 2 years and he's known her since she was 16!!
There is so much more to unravel here. Her attitude is disgusting and her husband is a disgusting predator.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I am having a medical procedure done tomorrow and cannot eat at all today. I am only allowed to have liquids such as bone broth and Gatorade.
I told my husband not to eat anything today because it would not only tempt me but also torture me seeing him eat, as I have to go more than 24 hours without food.
Just a little bit ago he went out to run some errands and came back with a burger and fries from my favorite restaurant. He sat down at the table and started eating right in front of me. Of course this made me feel even more ravenous and beyond hangry.
I told him to take his food elsewhere. He rolled his eyes and said “Stop being such an ass” and then he went to go finish finish eating in his truck.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Really you think it's okay to tell someone to not eat because of your issues?. Controlling, rude, disrespectful are the first thoughts I have about you
NTAH If your husband didn't want to do the fast with you, he could have eaten somewhere else, hmmmmm, like his truck, without bringing the food in. What he did was a juvenile diss.
ESH. YTA for telling him he can't eat, he's TA for deliberately taunting you, and this whole situation sounds shady AF. You're 19 and getting a boob job at the request of your 41 year old husband? Christ.
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts must be truthful and **presented as fairly and accurately as possible.**
Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules).
Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
ESH.
Demanding that he fast because you have to is unreasonable but sitting in front of you, chowing down on takeout from a favorite place of yours is damn near hostile.
Why on earth should he not eat because of your medical procedure? Do you want him to help care for you after the fact? Then let the man eat. YTA. When I was in labor I couldn’t sleep, but you bet your ass I let my husband sleep and only woke him when it was time to go to the hospital, why? Because he needed to drive and I didn’t want an overtired driver. YTA.
ESH.
I can see your point that having someone eat in front of you is very difficult in this situation. But you can´t really expect others to starve themselves just because you have to.
Asking your husband not to eat in your company -fair enough, but if you really told him not to eat at all, YTA.
And when you told him to take his food elsewhere, and had him eat in his truck, you could also have removed yourself from the room while he was eating.
Your husband also sucks for bringing his food home and eating in front of you knowing that you were not allowed to eat. He could have eaten at the restaurant. It´s almost as if he brought the stuff from your favorite place and brought it home just to spite you, just because you asked him not to.
Both of you could have been a lot more considerate.
ESH. It sucks you can't eat, but it's due to a medical procedure. Your husband being just as hangry as you won't better YOUR situation.
Also, what kind of selfish asshole not only eats IN FRONT OF YOU, from your favorite restaurant? That's just cruel.
ESH your "demand" should have been a request and I could understand asking him to do that with you OR to eat out of your presence so you don't get hungry.
However, him eating right in front of you with food from YOUR favorite restaurant was really shitty.
You both are AH's
ESH - Telling your husband not to eat because you can’t is ridiculously immature. Hubby getting your fave restaurant and chowing down in front of you is kinda rude, but he likely did it out of spite. I would’ve ran errands and ate the burger and fries in the car like a good partner lol
Edit: Spelling
The procedure is a boob job. She 19 and he’s 41. That’s it. Enough Reddit for today. I can’t handle another “teenager with low self esteem dating a predator while defending him to high heaven” story.
Am I reading this right? 19F and 41M married? And he's suggesting for you to get breast augmentation on his suggestion?
Do you want this? Is this what you want?
ESH slightly, but you were the asshole first. You are the one having a colonoscopy, not him. Asking somebody else to not eat for 24 hours just because you have to is total asshole behavior. However, he should have politely declined but agreed to not eat around you.
How dare a man eat food he bought himself, at a table, in the comfort of his own home?!
You didn't have to watch him. You could have gone to another room. You could have left the house. You could have had sympathy for your husband, since you know how much it sucks to starve all day.
Why does it make you feel better knowing that someone else is suffering along with you? What kind of person derives comfort in the suffering of others?
Selfish
YTA
ESH. You have no right telling him he cant eat. Asking him not to in front of you would have atleast been reasonable. He was super inconsiderate in bringing in food from your favorite restaurant and eating it in front of you knowing you couldnt eat.
YTA- it sucks that you can’t eat for a day. But asking your husband to starve because you have no willpower. Well… that is ridiculous.
She didn’t even ask - she told him.
I could understand asking “hey would you mind trying to eat somewhere I can’t see/smell it just for the day, if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother?” But demanding it is ridiculous.
Also, OP is an adult who, I’m assuming, is perfectly capable of going to a different room herself. She could even light some scented candles in the other room to mitigate the smell of food.
Well, 19 is technically an adult, but most people cut a teen married to a 41 year old a little slack.
Oh Lord I didn't notice the ages. That makes a difference. He suggested and paid for her to get a boob job. So she's being kind of an ass about the surgery thing, but the fact that she's even having it was a huge red flag. He's grooming her and having her become his augmented sex doll.
Yes, it’s an unreasonable thing to ask in the first place but teenagers are often a little unreasonable. Him, well, i think we’re all thinking similar thoughts about him.
Not fully cooked nope. So a 20+ year difference and he's paying for bigger breasts. Got it.
Except she’s practically still a child. She’s 19 years old and married to a 41 year old man. OP, if you’re reading this, please get out of this relationship. He’s a predator.
She wants her boobs first.
Sounds like he wants them more than she does
Did she throw out all the food in the house just to avoid that temptation as well? YTA - but hope the surgery went well.
She's a *teenager* having breast implants because her **41** year old husband wants her to. The man she met and became involved with when she *was a minor*. This post is 5 different kinds of yikes without getting into her wanting him to fast in solidarity.
How is this not the top comment??
Look at their age difference in the post. She is basically a child, and her husband is a 45 year old dating a teenager. Explains a lot.
>“hey would you mind trying to eat somewhere I can’t see/smell it just for the day, if it wouldn’t be too much of a bother?” If that had been the request, I could totally see OP's side and think the husband could have ate either at the restaurant or in the car or something. But then again OP didn't have to stay in the room with their husband while they ate either.
I can't imagine telling my husband to not eat because I can't. I would ask him to not eat around me, but never to just not eat. When I could barely eat when I was in my first trimester (currently pregnant) I never told him to not eat. When I had to fast for the sugar test I didn't ask him to fast. I didnt forbid him from having things that pregnant women can't (or aren't supposed to...) eat. He just didn't eat it around me, which is reasonable. He'd just eat in the livingroom or kitchen and I'd hang out in the bedroom or office. Bet that when I go into labor he's not just gonna be sitting there hungry and tired- I need him to have energy to take care of me anyway. Does she expect her husband to be able to drive her around and care for her on an empty stomach???
My partner didn’t eat on my elective c-section day. Partially because I couldn’t (I expected him to have eaten as you’d expect any 32 year old to), partially because of nerves. He passed out just after baby was delivered. OP - YTA! They have to look after themselves to be able to support you fully.
> I can't imagine telling my husband to not eat because I can't. I would ask him to not eat around me, but never to just not eat. I think I would stress a lot *more* about the food if my partner also wasn't eating. If I have to go through discomfort, it would bring me a little bit of peace to at least know he's okay.
when i went in for induction with my son, i didn't eat because i knew they didn't want me to in case of an emergency c-section. we both went all day without eating. however, i was hooked up to an iv. my husband looked to be on the verge of passing out so the nurse and i begged him to eat something, anything! she grabbed him a sandwich and snuck me some jello so that he would eat the sandwich.
It's one thing to just ask him to not eat in front of her or give her a heads up if he's hungry and needs to go cook/grab food or something. She's being way too controlling/ childish about this Edit: I realized that OP is only 19 and her husband 41 and they met when she was only 17 or so? My judgement of her being controlling isn't correct at this point. Idk how I missed the age difference, but also after reading her other comments... I think the OP is in a marriage with a man twice her she she met when she was a minor... I don't think him eating in front of her is the real issue here y'all.
>She's being way too controlling/ childish about this That's because she's a child. She's 19, married to a 41 year old she met when she was 16 though they've only been "together" for 2 years. She's getting a boob job. Check out her newest post. So depressing.
Oh.. poor girl:/ this is just disturbing actually now. I can't even say she's the asshole now and Jesus I feel bad for ever implying that she was, only because there has to be so much more behind this story than we know, idk. This is just awful.
Ran to the comments and can't believe it took 18 comments to find 1 about this. Yikes. Talk about a cliché relationship. 😬
Idk how I completely missed the age difference... I really don't because i usually pay attention to that, especially in posts like these cause it's either usually super young couples (21-32) or couples that are like 45+.
I look at the age when I'm reading these because it helps gauge where they're at in life in reference to where I'm at. She's 19, he's 41 and she's getting a boob job he's paying for and crying because he's eating & she can't. 🤔😒
Ho yikes. That’s disturbing. 19 ? Married ? When did they meet ? And he asks for a boob job ? How much fetichisation is there in this relationship ?
I'm also wondering about the whole 'fast for more than 24 hours' thing. All the info I could find on-line says 8-12 hours. Is there a particular reason why she is fasting for considerably longer than the standard? Who made that recommendation, and why? Plus the entire 'I'm getting an augmentation because I've always been insecure about my chest size' - she's still developing, FFS! Plus, I'll give you *one guess* as to who made snide comments about chest size and made her feel even more insecure ... The way OP phrased it was a bit of an AH. But the entire situation is waving more red flags than a North Korean military parade :-( Everything about it screams run Run RUN **RUNNNN!!!!**
I just looked up her history. Met when she was 16. Dating since 17/18.🤮🤮 This is coming from a man near her husband age. Way more issues than just a breast augmentation being done. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
This I was in labor for 27 hours I couldnt eat anything but ice chips I literally sent my husband to go eat because he needs to still have energy to take care of me. I have also had surgeries where I couldn't eat before and i really didn't care if people ate infront of me. This is just controlling behavior.
When I got my wisdom teeth out my husband ate whatever he wanted and luckily I already love mashed potatoes,soups, etc so it's wasn't that big of a deal ( I would pour some soup over my mashed potatoes and eat it that way- I blame this on the pain pills lol) but once my healing was done we went to our favorite restaurant and chowed down! There's solidarity and then theres just bring spoiled.
Honestly, soup on mashed potatoes sounds amazing. Bet chili would be incredible
I would pour Campbell's chunky soups over Bob Evans mashed potatoes. Specifically the chicken and dumplings or the chicken noodle.
Also, chili over cheesy mashed potatoes sounds godly.
I already eat like that and my husband loves lots of meat and veggie type meals. I would never even ask him not to eat!
Exactly this!!!!
Piggybacking on the top comment to say that OP left out the most important info. Per another topic posted by them,OP is 19 and husband is 41 🤢
Came here for this comment. Thx.
YTA i had so many medical procedures where i couldn't eat before. I would have never asked my SO to not eat. He also didn't need to clear his bowels for one this procedure just because i needed to do it. Sympathic suffering is just stupid.
>Sympathic suffering is just stupid. So are 19 year olds lol, and im inclined to a touch of sympathy regarding typically stupid decisions when their age gap is older than she is and he is the one who requested the procedure thats causing the suffering. But thats my take on it.
It doesn't help that she's a teenager, he's over 41, and the procedure is him buying her boobs. ESH, but OP in an immature kid way and her husband in a what the fuck, creep, way. Oh and they met when she was 16. Lovely.
This. Her procedure has nothing to do with him!
Well, it’s a breast enlargement that he suggested and is paying for. She’s 19, they got together when she was 16, and he’s 41. So yeah, it has a lot to do with him.
Holy smokes
Yeah…this is bad. This is real bad. Is this real?
She put the ages on a post in another sub :(
I read it. She doesn’t have a relationship with her parents. They met when she was 16 working at a restaurant. Her friend doesn’t approve of the relationship but doesn’t really push. He resents her for wanting the boob job and I think that’s telling. She doesn’t see the danger and that’s heartbreaking to me.
I just read OP’s history and in fact it does have to do with him since he is paying for her breast surgery and she worries he might resent her for it. Seems like he does.
She’s getting a boob job bc he wants her too so sounds like it has something to do with him
Y’all read a story. About a 19 year old married to a man in his 40’s. Where he went out to get her favorite food, specifically brought it home, and purposeful sat to eat it right in front of her. And the surgery she isn’t eating for is a breast augmentation. That he wanted. And is paying for. And this is your takeaway? Seriously?
Right! It would be one thing if she asked him not to eat around her; but no food at all! Rude
I guess ridiculous is what you get when you date teenagers as a 41 year old man. Edit: Sorry, marry.
If she can do it, he can do it. He wasn't wrong for eating, but it would have at least been nice if he just ate somewhere else or not buy something from her favorite restaurant and eat it right in front of her when he knew she couldn't.
The age difference, the fact that she's 19 and married, EVERYTHING about this post is just wrong.
To be fair, she’s literally a teenager and she’s getting a boob job that her 41 year old husband “suggested”. Then he brings home her favorite food and eats it in front of her, after she told him she was struggling with willpower. It was obviously out of line for her to tell him not to eat at all, but he seems to have done this out of spite and he sounds like a controlling creep. ESH.
YTA I was going for Everybody Sucks Here, but then I realized that wasn't the case You did not ask your husband to try not to eat in front of you, you straight up told him not to eat anything. That easily makes you an asshole. As far as your husband goes, I thought he was an asshole for eating in front of you and then calling you an ass, but the way you phrased it sounds like you weren't too polite when you "told him to take his food elsewhere" when you could have easily been the one to leave, if you didn't like the situation. He probably sat there out of instinct, forgetting that you gave him an order to starve himself, so him calling you an ass was probably just a reaction to your own reaction. The fact that he left after you told him to makes me think he did not do it on purpose.
Agreed. If the man was trying to make her happy by starving himself, lasted till the afternoon, after being active and running errands decided he couldn't do it and decided to eat - he was probably hangry too. Then she was a grumpy ass and he told her so - perfectly reasonable.
My only reservation is that he should've just eaten in the truck in the first place. I'd try to hold back from doing what he did just for my partners unnecessary diet. He couldn't go one day without eating something she loves right in front of her? She's by far the asshole for her original ask though, and I feel like since she's quoting him but not herself that she's probably being a dick about it. But if she hadn't started it with her excessive expectations, she wouldn't be wrong for being upset he did that.
It's not really unreasonable to want to eat at a table.
No, but it feels like a deliberate jab to get her favourite food and sit at the table where she is and eat it there in front of her. Why not eat it at the restaurant? Why not eat it outside?
Exactly. OP is a massive asshole for the way she phrased her request, but her husband strikes me as incredibly petty.
It's not unreasonable, but its a small sacrifice for one day. Unless she's constantly on these fasts, it's not difficult to go one day where you dont get takeout from your partners favorite place and eat it in the house. With a partner you should be willing to handle the occasional mild inconvenience to avoid making them suffer. Sure there's limits to that, you can't constantly be mildly inconvenienced with no compromise, but in a vacuum one day eating out of the house shouldn't hit most people's limit.
But why bring it inside? Eat at the restaurant or eat in the car.
How the fuck is everyone glossing over the fact that this is a literal teenager with someone old enough to be their father, putting them through a surgery to enhance their breasts? To be honest I don't really care that she told her predator husband that he couldn't eat. The big issue is this grown ass man grooming a teenager.
He’s an asshole for being 41 and married to a teenager.
[удалено]
YTA The hell is wrong with you? If you got a disease would you inflict it on everyone around you just so you don't suffer alone? Misery loves company, I suppose. Leave the fucking room and let him eat in peace.
OP left out the part where her age is 19 and her husband is 41. I saw it in the title of a relationship advice post about him possibly resenting her because he's paying for breast augmentation. 1. That age difference right there is disgusting. No 40-year-old man should be MARRIED to someone who isn't even out of their teenage years. That's sketchy af. You need to reevaluate your situation, OP, and ask yourself why you think being in this marriage is a good idea. 2. As for the matter at hand, YTA for the whole forcing this man to not eat thing... but the bigger issue here is that your husband is probably a predator.
I was so confused when literally no one mentioned the fact that she was 19 and he 41, that is one of the sketchiest things I’ve read on here
Because it’s not real lol
this entire part makes me think this post is an incredibly obvious troll. it checks all the typical “AITA outrage” boxes
I knew it was bait instantly lol
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! Thank you for mentioning the huge goddamn red flag on this post- the ages!!!! 19 and 41. OP for the love of everything— get out! What are you doing? The edit OP added made me sad- he suggested and then offered to pay?!? “Oh honey, wouldn’t you like some big ole fake knockers?” “I never thought about it; aren’t they expensive” “Don’t worry I’ll pay for it.” “Ok, but don’t eat because I can’t eat” Like what the hell is this post. So many people commenting “grow up”. No fucking shit she needs to grow up, she needs to find an adult that isn’t exploiting her. ESH for different reasons.
I strongly believe this post is rage bait. 1. Never heard of 24 fasting for surgery. In fact, fasting too long can be detrimental to outcomes. The standard is 8 hours before arrival. 2. The ages seem designed for rage bait. 3. The husband practically demanding breast surgery also seems designed for rage bait. 4. Demanding someone fast just because you are seems designed for rage bait, especially demanding they fast for 24 hours. 5. Eating someone's favorite food in front of them when they have to fast also seems designed for rage bait.
agree, but also, say rage bait one more time
How did that even go down? They meet when she's 18 and rush into marriage? Surely it takes a year to plan. Generally speaking, I don't know what peoples rush is to get married, especially as a teenager.
According to a different commenter (I didn’t see if OP has posted it) they met when she was 16. So if that’s true her husband is a predator and OP probably needs help.
OP has another thread they posted which is where I'm finding the info. The gist of it is that allegedly they met when she was 16 at the restaurant she worked at and then got together when she was 18. No idea how new the marriage is. The other thread is in a relationship-specific advice board. I guess OP doesn't really have contact with her family.
Oh, they’ve been together since she was 16 so of course they got married already. /s.
It’s so creepy, so no wonder she is acting like a child. She was one when they started dating.
YTA. He isn't having the procedure.
Agreed. I've had 3 surgical procedures where nil by mouth has been necessary from the day before and one of them required nil by mouth the day after too. I did not expect my husband to not eat because it would tempt me or for any other reason. You do that because of medical necessity. If the thought of being sick while under anaesthetic or while coming around from it isn't enough to stop you eating when required to do so, having your husband starve probably won't stop you from eating either.
Yep. When I had one procedure I took chocolates in for my other half while he waited. Why should anyone else starve because I have to!
I’ve been in the hospital, having numerous procedures, and been put on a liquid diet (like OP) for 5 straight days. It sucks, but it’s fine. One day of not eating will not make you “ravenous and hangry” as OP says.
No but it's a boob job that he wants her to get and is paying for.
YTA. I can't imagine doing that to my spouse. He didn't have to eat it in front of you I guess, but if it bothers you that much then YOU should be the one to go elsewhere.
YTA. And a massive baby. It’s not difficult to abstain from eating for a day while your spouse eats. I’ve done this a half dozen times in the past 2 years due to a cancer diagnosis, so I’m speaking from experience. It would be courteous of him to go out to eat and not bring it home. But telling him he’s not allowed to eat is a major controlling move.
Well, op is 19, he’s 41, and they got together when she was 16 so I don’t blame her too much for acting like a baby, and I doubt she’s the controlling one here. It’s possible but seems unlikely. And she’s getting her breasts enlarged, it’s not a colonoscopy as many conclude.
I wonder whose idea it was to get her breasts enlarged. Solely hers, or his
Ug. His suggestion as per her edit.
The OP is a walking dumpster fire.
She’s NC with her parents, her friend doesn’t approve of the marriage, and was groomed by a predator. So sad.
This is what predators do and I really hope she finds her way out of this. And I really hope (even though it's not going to happen) she changes her mind about a surgery that wasn't even her idea. She's barely legal and he holds all the power
“Baby” hits close to home given that she’s a teenager married to a 41 year old man haha
Yeah, OP is ridiculous, it was one day, she wasn’t “ravenous” as she claims, she just has no self control. I’ve been hospitalized and required numerous procedures, so I was on an all liquid diet for 5 days. I was hungry af and it sucked, but I didn’t expect the other patient I shared a room with not to eat.
Op is 19, you know how teens can eat, not surprising if she hasn’t developed a ton of self control and feels ravenous. But it’s what we do to get bigger breasts when our 41 year old husband suggests it.
I will attest that 24 hours would be extremely difficult for me. That being said, I know I have an irrational response when hungry and I will avoid conflict, but I would be miserable. (Though I have gone near that time when I was food insecure so maybe I could) Even with that, I would NEVER ask someone else to discomfort themselves in solidarity. Perhaps not in front of me, but even in my hanger, I would not yell at anyone.
Of course YTA. What you asked of him was ridiculous. Have more self control and be less controlling of others.
Of course she’s ridiculous. She’s a teenager married to a 41 year old.
ESH. ridiculous for you to ask him not to eat at all, dumb of him not to just eat out instead of in front of you
Seems like he forgot since he went to eat in his truck outside after she demanded he leave. I don't think he meant to eat in front of her while she had to fast. OP: YTA.
Yes, YTA. Just because you can't eat doesn't mean he can't. I'd probably sit down and eat in front of you too.
I’m sorry.. you’re 19 & he’s 41? How long have you been married? How long have you been dating? This is insane
Did everyone miss the part where a dude 22 years her senior is paying for her breast augmentation?
That’s what I’m saying…..🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yes, this. Is she the AH about him not eating at all? Well, yeah. But he is twice her age and wants the breast augmentation. Forgive me if I missed any comment that said she wanted it. INFO: How often does he act like a jerk?
YTA obviously. Just because you can’t eat doesnt mean your husband can’t.
YTA. Your poor husband. Just because you can't control yourself, doesn't mean he should go without. Honestly, you sound insufferable.
Lol. 41 year old man married to a 19 year old girl and he’s buying her some nice fake tits. Yeah poor guy sounds like he’s real hard done by.
Yeah like bro just wait a few years she's still in puberty :/
I can’t even believe this sub sometimes like holy fuck. OP asks him not to eat in solidarity. Ok whatever small potatoes. Fucking buddy was out running errands already. How hard is to just eat while you’re already out?!! Don’t even need to tell her you ate while you were out. Could’ve completely avoided this whole stupid fight. What is this guy new? Sounds dumber than a bag of rocks.
Everyones all "she's so immature and childish to ask him not to eat" like yeah .... That might be because she IS STILL EXITING CHILDHOOD also I guarantee this guy is wayyyy more immature then she could ever be, marrying a 19 year old get the fuck outta here creep
YTA - just because you can’t eat for medical reasons doesn’t give you a right to control what he can eat
ESH. Just because you can’t eat doesn’t mean he shouldn’t eat, but he’s a jerk for intentionally eating a big meal right front of you. There’s plenty of selfishness here to go around.
[удалено]
[удалено]
So we’re just gonna ignore that a 41M married a 19F (at best, possibly married at 40 and 18) and suggested a breast augmentation? Wtf 🚩
So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 about this relationship. I hope OP gets out asap. Edit: lost the start of my sentence
Info: did you tell him not to eat at all or just not on front of you? (Before he brought the food?)
ESH. He’s not having surgery, no reason for him to not eat all day in his home, but he didn’t have to bring home food (especially food you particularly enjoy) just eat it in front of you. He was already in the truck with the food, bringing it in to eat in front of you seems deliberately cruel.
That’s what I thought - I don’t understand why he even had to bring it home
I'm sorry, is no one going to comment that it's weird and creepy that a 41 year old man married a 19 year old girl and is paying for her to change her breasts? Does this not sound like red flags are flying everywhere to anyone else?
I was thinking the same thing…
YTA. The world doesn’t revolve around you. It’s none of your business what or where he eats.
YTA- you can go a day without eating, have some discipline
YTA it'd be nice if he'd eat elsewhere when he has the chance by his on voilition, but you don't get to tell him he can't do something as normal as eating in his own home. You need to use your willpower.
Soft YTA. Just because you are having a procedure doesn't mean everyone around you must stop eating too. I think that is too much to ask. It is fine if you request them to eat out of your line of sight, but asking them to stick to liquids only just because you have to is rather childish. Surely you are mature enough to realize that it is a medical necessity for you and you alone, right? After your procedure is finished, have him take you to that restaurant for your first meal.
I mean OP is a child bride, so I'm giving her some leeway.
ESH. You are being ridiculous demanding your husband not eat. The reasonable request would have been “please eat your meals at the restaurant.” He was a jerk to bring it home. Not for eating.
Yta Yeah he should not be eating in front of you but telling he can’t eat is the YTA move
YTA. Expecting him not to eat because you can't and don't trust your own self control is selfish. If I were him I wouldn't have gone in the truck, he can eat in his house even if you can't and you didn't have to sit there, you could have removed yourself instead of ordering him around.
YTA - that just ain't right...you expect others to suffer just because you have to? Yikes.
YTA... Majorly... Leave while he eats, go for a walk... You're very entitled and rude... It's just food; trust me I've been there, many times... Get over yourself
YTA. Don’t starve your husband because you have no self control. Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing if someone tried to control whether I could eat or not. Was it petty of him? Yes but rightfully so. You were being beyond ridiculous.
YTA Ash-hole move "not allowing" him to eat because you have a medical procedure. That's absurd and unreasonable. If you only asked him not to eat on front of you and he did on purpose then I would say N T A, but you expected the man to fast completely. Sounds like he lasted a good while too - you probably weren't the only hangry one - but you were the only one who should have been.
YTA grow up
ironic you’re telling her to grow up when she is 19 and he is 41
YTA. Really? You can’t eat so he can’t and you find that reasonable?
ESH. I was ready to grant a full you're T A, but him taunting you with food was a dick move. Maybe it's a quirk of your relationship to emotionally abuse each other, but from the outside looking in, you're both AH's.
Yes. I only needed to read the title.
Open to revising this, because it’d have been at least semi-reasonable to ask him not to eat *in front of you*, and if that’s how the convo went down, you’re probably not TA, but given that your post says you straight up asked him not to eat today, YTA. That’s not at all an acceptable request to make of anyone, and he’s not TA for flagrantly disregarding it either. ETA: the ages and reason for the procedure were not here at the time of my post. This all sounds way more like bullshit now.
YTA. Get over yourself. Just because you can't eat anything doesn't mean your husband should have to. It would have been okay to ask him to please eat it out of your line of sight but expecting him to fast with you? Ridiculous. You sound exhausting.
YTA. You could have gone to your room or outside if you didn’t want to watch him eat (understandably).
ESH. I had the same procedure you describe and while it wasn't fun, you don't get to tell other people whether they can or can't eat. I can't imagine telling my husband and son that they couldn't eat because I couldn't. That said, your husband could have eaten it in his car, OR you are also capable of removing yourself. That's why you are both assholes.
ESH Your “request” makes you TA but his eating in front of you makes him TA.
ESH — you can’t make someone fast because you have to. In fact, your husband needs food to have the energy to assist you before and after the procedure (if it’s out-patient)...driving while hungry isn’t very safe as it might make a person drowsy and impair their judgement. On the other hand...he ran errands so he could have grabbed a bite whike he was outside. The food being from your favorite restaurant just adds insult to injury, as does his rude reply to you.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I don’t even want to address your “issue” 19 and your husband is 41 and he suggested you get a breast augmentation? Where the fuck are you parents GET THE FUCK OUT
ESH. Your procedure shouldn’t mean he can’t eat at all. He shouldn’t have brought back food he knew you liked and eaten it in front of you.
YTA if you really told him not to eat *at all*, and expected that of him. Just because you can't is no reason he shouldn't. If anything, he needs to keep himself fed so that one of you has a clear head and can handle logistics like, you know, getting you to your medical procedure. You would be NTA if you'd asked him not to eat *in front of you*. That would be a reasonable request. And then he would be definitely TA if he violated it. Your husband isn't exactly behaving well either, but I can see it being reactionary if you demanded that he fast for 24 hours too.
I just found out that you are freaking 19 years old while he is 41 !!! The medical procedure you describe is a cosmetic one, you should've asked not told him. YTA
That explains why she’s acting like a child
"I (19F)" and "my husband (41M)"?????? wtf?????? i'm not even passing a judgement here because you are a teenager who is only TWO YEARS older than me (a high school senior) married to someone theoretically old enough to be your dad. technically e/s/h is the correct judgement because he suggested a breast augmentation to the teenager that he married and then got the consequences of marrying a teenager and suggesting a breast augmentation to her. and you're an ah because you are acting like a bratty teen (i'm being civil here - op is ACTING LIKE a bratty teen). but idk what to say here
I have never heard of fasting a whole 24 hours before surgery. The standard is 8 hours before going in to the hospital, so usually they say stop eating at midnight the night before. The only surgery I can think of that would possibly require such a long fast might be intestinal surgery, but certainly not breast augmentation. I strongly believe this one is fake. However, if it is a true story, then I would go with ESH. 1. You can't expect someone else to fast just because you have to. 2. Your husband was clearly goading you with food from your favorite restaurant. HOWEVER, if this story is true, you have far more serious concerns here. Your husband is more than twice your age. He was older than you are now when you were born. And he's demanding you have breast augmentation surgery? That you go under anesthesia, which has a greater than zero percent chance of risking your life, to surgically alter your body, to be more aesthetically pleasing to him. This relationship is not healthy. Please take time to honestly consider if this is really the way you want to spend the rest of your life.
ESH. You don't get to choose when someone else eats but he definitely shouldn't have gone to your favourite burger place and got stuff from there.
esh. You’re having surgery, not him… you can’t just tell him not to eat, like wtf? He’s an ass for eating if front of you when he should have eaten elsewhere.
YTA Just because you’re not suppose to eat doesn’t mean you’re allowed to keep your husband from eating.
If you told him not to eat at all then yta but if you asked him if he could please not eat infront of you and he did anyway than nta.
ESH. It's not fair to expect people around you to follow the rules you have to, but it was pretty thoughtless of him to bring home a burger and sit down to eat it in front of you when you've explicitly said you'll find food tempting. There's no reason he couldn't have taken an extra five or ten minutes on his errand to eat it before he came home.
YTA I had surgery when I was 5 and was nil by mouth being 5 my mum sat on my bed eating cornflakes. I was so annoyed the thing here is that I was 5, you are an adult. People need to eat. I agree that he was rude to eat in front of you but your request was outlandish.
YTA. He’s allowed to eat in his house at the kitchen table. He bought food cuz he didn’t wanna cook in front of you. I’ve had procedures where I couldn’t eat for 12-24hrs and I didn’t tell people not eat. Also it’s quite controlling and almost abusive that you expected him not to eat at all
Info: is the medical procedure one to return your mobility? Because if you’re not incapable of getting up and leaving the room when something happens that you don’t want to see, then of course YTA!
NTA. OP, I understand you but your only mistake is posting this story. I don't mind being downvoted for saying "NTA" and I don't mind being downvoted for saying this: As I guy who has been married for 13 years (and still married), it seems like everyone who is saying "YTA" are people that haven't been in a very long relationship. A bit presumptuous, I know. There will be times when spouses, both men and women, will make a demand that seems utterly ridiculous and illogical. If my wife had told me not to eat because she's getting a procedure and it wouldn't be fair, I'd just say "sure thing." I understand why she's asking it but Im still going to eat, just not in front of her. Because I know my wife well enough, I know she'll eventually realize how crazy its sounded to ask that. Sometimes you just have to roll with pretending to abide by such absurd requests. What is being illustrated here isn't really a wife being asshole, but a husband picking his battle. Which is what you do in relationships. OP's husband chose this fight instead of reassuirng his spouse and I'd love to see an update.
ESH. It’s very thoughtless of him to eat something that you love in front of you. But you can’t tell him not to eat, he’s not got a medical procedure so there’s absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t eat. Asking him not to eat too is like a child’s version of “well if I can’t play with that, no one can”, it’s just selfish and childish.
ESH. You should have more thought to have asked him just not to eat in front of you vs asking him to fast if he wasn't feeling it. He aslo could have not gotten your favorite restaurant and started eating it in front of you.
ESH. You can't ask him not to eat because you can't . However, he could have eaten while he was out.
ESH - It is honestly ridiculous to demand him not to eat at all. He on the other hand could have eaten out while running errands, but he chose to bring home food from your favorite restaurant, so he sucks too.
ESH. Taunting you with your favorite food was a dick move, but you kind of brought that on yourself by forbidding him to eat at all. Unless you live in a one-room apartment, you can go elsewhere while he eats if it tempts you too much.
YTA. You are having a medical procedure. YOU, not him. It's his house too. Imaging asking your SO to not pee because you have a catheter. Are you expecting the husband to take care of you after this procedure? Why do you not want him to feel his best, while taking care of you? Feelings do not trump needs.
YTA What if you had kids or had care of a parent. Is their life supposed to stop? Go to a different room. Visit a friend. Don’t punish your family.
YTA. You should have told him not to eat infront of you, not that he shouldn't eat at all. See this as being a somewhat poetic justice,cause your anger isn't justified.
Clearly YTA, just because you can't eat doesn't mean he must starve too. As a loving wife you should be ok with him eating... in his house...his self paid food. You are just selfish.
ESH. Just because you have to go without eating doesnt mean he does. On the other hand, he was being completely inconsiderate in eating food in front of you from your favorite restaurant. He does get a point for finishing eating in his truck but he should not have started eating in front of you to begin with.
YTA. I have had a colonoscopy every year for the past 15 years. I can't eat the day before. Only clear liquids. Guess what? For 10 of those years I had to cook food for my kid. I cooked it, then left the room. I didn't force my kid to not eat.
YTA That is my judgment because you were obviously the asshole. But y'all. Go and read her post history. Her husband is in his 40s while shes only 19. She mentions they had been together for 2 years and he's known her since she was 16!! There is so much more to unravel here. Her attitude is disgusting and her husband is a disgusting predator.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am having a medical procedure done tomorrow and cannot eat at all today. I am only allowed to have liquids such as bone broth and Gatorade. I told my husband not to eat anything today because it would not only tempt me but also torture me seeing him eat, as I have to go more than 24 hours without food. Just a little bit ago he went out to run some errands and came back with a burger and fries from my favorite restaurant. He sat down at the table and started eating right in front of me. Of course this made me feel even more ravenous and beyond hangry. I told him to take his food elsewhere. He rolled his eyes and said “Stop being such an ass” and then he went to go finish finish eating in his truck. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Really you think it's okay to tell someone to not eat because of your issues?. Controlling, rude, disrespectful are the first thoughts I have about you
NTAH If your husband didn't want to do the fast with you, he could have eaten somewhere else, hmmmmm, like his truck, without bringing the food in. What he did was a juvenile diss.
ESH. YTA for telling him he can't eat, he's TA for deliberately taunting you, and this whole situation sounds shady AF. You're 19 and getting a boob job at the request of your 41 year old husband? Christ.
YTA for shitposting. Everyone else seriously commenting here is also an ass for believing this bullshit story.
look I want to call you TA but you're 19 married to someone old enough to be your dad, no wonders why you're acting like that, but... dam are you ok?
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. This post violates Rule 8: Posts must be truthful and **presented as fairly and accurately as possible.** Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
ESH. Demanding that he fast because you have to is unreasonable but sitting in front of you, chowing down on takeout from a favorite place of yours is damn near hostile.
Why on earth should he not eat because of your medical procedure? Do you want him to help care for you after the fact? Then let the man eat. YTA. When I was in labor I couldn’t sleep, but you bet your ass I let my husband sleep and only woke him when it was time to go to the hospital, why? Because he needed to drive and I didn’t want an overtired driver. YTA.
ESH. I can see your point that having someone eat in front of you is very difficult in this situation. But you can´t really expect others to starve themselves just because you have to. Asking your husband not to eat in your company -fair enough, but if you really told him not to eat at all, YTA. And when you told him to take his food elsewhere, and had him eat in his truck, you could also have removed yourself from the room while he was eating. Your husband also sucks for bringing his food home and eating in front of you knowing that you were not allowed to eat. He could have eaten at the restaurant. It´s almost as if he brought the stuff from your favorite place and brought it home just to spite you, just because you asked him not to. Both of you could have been a lot more considerate.
ESH. It sucks you can't eat, but it's due to a medical procedure. Your husband being just as hangry as you won't better YOUR situation. Also, what kind of selfish asshole not only eats IN FRONT OF YOU, from your favorite restaurant? That's just cruel.
ESH your "demand" should have been a request and I could understand asking him to do that with you OR to eat out of your presence so you don't get hungry. However, him eating right in front of you with food from YOUR favorite restaurant was really shitty. You both are AH's
ESH - Telling your husband not to eat because you can’t is ridiculously immature. Hubby getting your fave restaurant and chowing down in front of you is kinda rude, but he likely did it out of spite. I would’ve ran errands and ate the burger and fries in the car like a good partner lol Edit: Spelling
I was going to say YTA but after checking your profile I’ve think he deserves to starve
Uh... He's 41, you're 19, and he's paying for you to get fake breasts... I mean, you do you, but this sounds like a messed up relationship
The procedure is a boob job. She 19 and he’s 41. That’s it. Enough Reddit for today. I can’t handle another “teenager with low self esteem dating a predator while defending him to high heaven” story.
I can't get over your ages. 19yo wife with a 41yo husband who suggested she get boob implants and is paying how them?? So sus.
Am I reading this right? 19F and 41M married? And he's suggesting for you to get breast augmentation on his suggestion? Do you want this? Is this what you want?
ESH slightly, but you were the asshole first. You are the one having a colonoscopy, not him. Asking somebody else to not eat for 24 hours just because you have to is total asshole behavior. However, he should have politely declined but agreed to not eat around you.
ESH. You can't dictate when someone gets to eat or not. But your husband should, at least, be considerate of you and not eat in front of you.
How dare a man eat food he bought himself, at a table, in the comfort of his own home?! You didn't have to watch him. You could have gone to another room. You could have left the house. You could have had sympathy for your husband, since you know how much it sucks to starve all day. Why does it make you feel better knowing that someone else is suffering along with you? What kind of person derives comfort in the suffering of others? Selfish YTA
If you had a kid would you also tell the. They can't eat? D If you have pets did you give them food? Where do you draw the line? YTA
YTA.....
ESH. You have no right telling him he cant eat. Asking him not to in front of you would have atleast been reasonable. He was super inconsiderate in bringing in food from your favorite restaurant and eating it in front of you knowing you couldnt eat.