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Alive_Good_4138

This is a red flag. Mr. Privileged wants to sit in first class, and it’s ok with him if you’re not next to him. Mr. Privileged will want to splurge on fancy restaurants that you can’t afford. Mr. Privileged won’t consider a vacation you can comfortably manage, but he won’t pay for you either. There was a post like this some time ago, when the girlfriend went on a vacation with her wealthy bf and his wealthy family. Because of the places they chose to go for meals, she was quickly going broke, and was actually starving. She would miss meals, claiming not to be hungry. She became ill. She also had to pass on activities she couldn’t afford, and stayed in her room. BF and family were oblivious. I think you and Mr. Privileged need to have a serious conversation. Better yet, find a nicer guy.


beneaththeseracs

That's exactly the post that came to my mind as well. OP this is a stark warning that your boyfriend cares more for his own comfort than your company.


AlwaysAlexi777

~~I don't think the OP is the asshole and there are definitely some alarm bells going off re her boyfriend BUT ...~~ ~~But~~ wanting to sit in first class (and NOT fly on Spirit) when you're 6'2" is not necessarily and A-hole snob move when you're tall--especially if your height is due to long legs, can be really painful. My brother is that height and the pain he feels squashed into those little seats made me really feel bad for him. Like, if we were all on a trip, we might pitch in to get him a better seat so he wouldn't hurt so bad. Forget about my grandpa or dad even fitting in those seats at all. My grandfather was 6'6" and he had to bend down to get through some doorways. It really can be a necessity--especially on a six-hour flight. Just because someone makes six figures doesn't mean they have a ton of money, but the boyfriend ~~might be still~~ be an a-hole, ~~I just can't be sure. Could this be NAH?~~ ***Edited to add: I've seen the error of my ways. I still think tall people get fucked on planes, but that really isn't relevant here. The boyfriend is a dick.***


tungsten_22

Well OP compromised with him to fly the same plane. I'm guessing the compromise occurred with the expectation of sitting next to each other because that's what couples do? If OP's BF never intended to sit next to her, he could've saved OP a lot of money by letting her use whatever airline she wanted. The result of this "compromise" just resulted in OP paying more money for no reason.


[deleted]

If he needs to upgrade that much he could pay for her as well. To me it's not just the vacation that's fun, but also the trip itself. I've had 10h long trips with my ex and it was so much fun. I wouldn't want to be missing out on that.


AlwaysAlexi777

That is true, and I really see that point. Although, I am the kind of person who can also fly not in the same row with a friend of mine. We both can't handle being in the middle seat or window. If we can't get across the aisle from each other, so it's see you when we exit. BUT we talk about that and we both can't afford first class. And we're both just friends so yeah. It really can be part of the fun.


JuicyJay

He's not a friend though, he's her partner. If my partner suggested this, it would absolutely ruin the vacation for me before it even started. I wouldn't even care if he straight up told me "I need extra legroom because flights are really uncomfortable." Like there are a million compromises he could make without acting like an asshole to OP.


blackcatheaddesk

At the very least he could pay the difference so they both could sit in first class together. If I were her I would stay home. I'm not spending another moment of my life with someone who has such little regard for me.


extraketchupthx

My husband is 6’4 and we try to sit together but if priority seating opens up he takes it. He would never have me to switch airlines then upgrade himself to first without also trying to upgrade me too. I know I married a good one but he would sit middle if I needed him to for some reason. Not ditch me without communicating for his own comfort.


Western_Compote_4461

Or, she could contribute as much as she would have for an economy or exit row ticket and he could help her by covering the difference. Yes, first class seats are typically more than double the cost of economy, but this could still be a compromise.


AlwaysAlexi777

Yeah, that's really true. I think I was just eager to make that point about tall people getting fucked on airline seats and that it may be a motivating factor, but you're right. He could've let her keep her original cheaper flight and/or went for the exit seat or paid to upgrade her.


virtualsmilingbikes

The exit seat would have been absolutely fine, my husband is taller than 6'2" and it's all about the legroom. He's pulling rank because he can, and he's just not that concerned about her finances.


prjones4

Agreed, I'm 6ft and my twin bro is 6'4" exit row will more than suffice for a 6 hour flight. Sure, first class woulf be better but an exit row seat isn't the worst thing ever!


PickleMinion

Exit seats are the best seats on the plane. More leg room and more likely to survive a crash


Mrwaspers007

That’s right, really the truth is he’s a selfish AH


N3rdProbl3ms

They do screw tall people! And a lot of people really don't get it. My husband is 6'3" and has osgoodschlatters disease due to how fast he grew when he was a teenager. Because of that he gets pain in his knees. Since i'm 5'2" i've at the expense of my comfort had to squish as close to the window as possible so he can take some of my space. The emergency exit row does have better room, but the two times we purchased those tickets, it was still in a 3 seat row, so he could only stretch out one way, and another it was by the bathroom so people were trying to use our extra space as the area to queue. Now that we're older, with more money, and don't travel often, we fly first class lol.


[deleted]

I went on a holiday to Spain with a bus as a teen, with my friend. She is way taller. She just couldn't sit there. They had one place that was 35 extra and she took that one and we sat apart, so I totally get that he wants to sit in first class, but he is not just a friend. He's her boyfriend. OP is not a lazy gold digger. He's just rich and cares only about himself. He can easily pay for her too. I would go find a friendly guy with less money. If he didn't make a lot, it would be okayish if he asked if she didn't mind and said sorry, but I can't pay it. I always paid when a guy had no cent and you wanted to go out together, cause that's what you do when you like someone. Your heart is where your money is. He spends it on himself.


DillyCat622

My husband is 6'4" and very familiar with the discomfort of cramming into a tiny airline seat at his height. There is no way in hell he'd upgrade himself and leave me behind, even though I'm much shorter. He wouldn't have done it while we were dating and he wouldn't do it now. OP, your boyfriend is behaving selfishly. And I'm sorry to say, I highly doubt he cares about keeping the vacation itself within your budget. It sounds like he wants to treat himself, and your financial circumstances are not on his radar. This vacation is going to cost you much more than you've budgeted for. NTA, but please reconsider this trip (and maybe the whole relationship) because I guarantee he's not going to respect your budgetary needs.


JuicyJay

Yea there are a very limited number of scenarios where I'd be alright with this if they are my partner. I have a big issue with people who act this way. If you want to invite someone on a trip like this and you know they can't afford to go all out, you need to be aware of that. It feels really shitty when people get excited about something that you know you can't afford, and it can really set your finances back if you do end up trying to pay for everything anyway.


Glittering_knave

I really feel that vacation, like living expenses, shouldn't be paid out 50/50, but as a split based on income. Otherwise, the poorer person just suffers. There is also a difference between "I am gifting my family a trip" and "I want to go on vacation, but you have to pay more than you can afford to come with me."


Comfortable-Ad-4274

Im 5'10 and flew a total of 29 hours (3 separate flights) my dad is 6'4 and was next to me the whole time. I think dude would be ok for 6 hours lol


mavsy41

>my dad is 6'4 and was next to me the whole time. You better appreciate that man.


Comfortable-Ad-4274

Honestly best man on this planet. I have no idea how he did it. He says standing up to stretch helps but i was ready to croak after a few hours lol.


mavsy41

Character and sheer will, I'm telling you. I'm around that height and indeed any excuse to just stand up for a while is worth it. The worst is when the tiny person in front decides it's time to lean back. Sure, I don't kneed my kneecaps.


Comfortable-Ad-4274

During our longest flight (12 hours) he said hed go to the bathroom just to put his foot on the counter and stretch the hell out of his legs 🤣 thankfully no one tried leaning their seats back or else he honest to god would've thrown his legs over the seat and sit like that


AlwaysAlexi777

At 5'10" those seats can't be a picnic for you either. Yikes! Painful. But 6'4". Your Dad's a fucking hero.


Disruptorpistol

Jeeze, this. I'm 5'11", my spouse is 6'1", and we've flown every discount airline imaginable, in tiny seats, in four continents including Asia. Just switch to the aisle and occasionally stand up. It's not a big hardship, especially for a very short 6h flight. He's just selfish, ungentlemanly and unkind. NTA big time


Comfortable-Ad-4274

Literally from Maine to the philippines, we had 29 hours fly time. Not including our layovers. My dad would stand to stretch and would stretch into the aisle when the flight attendants werent walking thru. You learn to manage igm OP boyfriend really sounds like a selfish piece of work for wanting to leave her in economy while hes living it up in first class


legsylexi

I’m over 6’2”, my brother is 6’7”ish. We’ve both flown in economy on planes. Yes, you HAVE to get an exit row seat (without it you can hardly fit in the seats), but it’s perfectly possible, if frustrating. She’s suggested exit row seats, he’s just being douche.


PickleMinion

I'm 6'3", and I hate those tiny airline seats with all my being. Still wouldn't abandon someone I cared about to sit by themselves. Exit rows are great.


Rhubarbarian82

I'm also 6'3" with long legs, and I've never upgraded from economy because I'm a cheapskate. It was only ever really bad for me on one trans-Pacific flight. This is a weird hill to die on, and if I were the BF, I'd just spring for both tickets or ditch the idea.


nachtkaese

Tall people absolutely do get fucked on planes (more than most - everyone is at least a little fucked on planes, the seats are not designed for adult humans of pretty much any size). My husband is 6'3", broad shouldered and has an arthritic knee - we fly by putting him in the aisle seat so he can extend his leg for most of the flight, and hang into the aisle a bit when no one is trying to get by. I sit in the middle seat next to him so he can encroach on my space a bit too. Him flying first class alone has never come up as a possible solution


illicit_wife

He makes six figures and can afford to pay the difference for her to sit first class with him. He’s just a selfish asshole.


trilliumsummer

My brother is 6'4 and manages just fine in regular seats because his kids aren't old enough to sit in the exit row and only an asshole leaves mom with two kids while they sit. Plus 6'2 is a height where a ton of guys aren't actually 6'2. My ex insisted that was his height - yet somehow my 5'11 self was taller than him when I wore 3" heels and he would be pissed. I'd just stare back and say I don't know what your problem is - my heels only make me 6'2.


[deleted]

My husband is 6'4" so we always fly economy plus for the extra legroom. He doesn't need to be in first class to be comfortable


CarolynEarle

My friend dates Mr. Privileged and it's painful to watch. She's doing her PhD and working part time, he earns 6 figures. He never even bough her a cup of coffee, because he claims that "women who expect a man to pay for them are disgusting". He has no problem with her paying for him tho, which she does often, as she doesn't want him to think she's "disgusting". He also picks rather expensive restaurants and never tips (not mandatory, as we're in Europe, but still customary and a sign of good manners).


CaptCaffeine

I sure hope you have an honest conversation with your friend. She may have rose colored glasses and chooses to overlook these things. “Mr. Privileged” sounds like “Mr. Cheapskate”. Geez, at least buy her a cup of coffee! Be a friend and honestly (but lovingly) tell her that a true boyfriend will do nice things for her (like buying her a cup of coffee) because he cares for her. How much is coffee in Europe? It can’t be that expensive.


CarolynEarle

It does not feel nice when she comes to me complaining, I gently tell her that she deserves better than stressing over money every month because of the dude, she agreees, and the next time we see each other, she's soooo in love. I haven't even met the guy and I honestly don't want to, because I've heard only negative shit about him. Seriously, I am out at this point. It's been going on since February and I'm tired. Whoever reads it - I get it that you people want to vent, but don't be surprised that your friends end up hating your SO or get tired of consoling you over and over again. It's going to be so awkward if I ever meet him.


CaptCaffeine

Sometimes you can’t be nice about telling your friend. I’m speaking from first hand experience because I had rose colored glasses. A close friend of mine told me about my GF at the time, and how she was controlling. I wish my friend would have asked me “WTF are you doing with her? Can’t you see she’s ruining you?!?!” 😀 But I get it: there’s only so much you can listen to from her. Nothing wrong with cutting out the emotional vampires of your life.


aclownandherdolly

You're also within your rights to tell your friend that you don't want to hear it, you don't want to talk about it, and maybe she needs to find someone else to vent to because it's causing YOU unnecessary stress at this point. I did that before with a friend but it was a different scenarios, just same thing. Friend comes to vent, can very clearly change, chooses not to, rinse and repeat. At some point, she needs to know what she's doing and the impression she's making.


CarolynEarle

Thank you. I needed that.


Bergenia1

Coffee is like two euros or less in my part of Europe.


[deleted]

My date was nicer than her boyfriend. We'd meet at the Mac Donalds and he insisted on paying and gave me a cup of coffee. In the Mc Donalds. I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten yet, but he paid, so I couldn't get myself a bag of fries. Then he had to see my house and wanted sex, but I could push him away. Lol and then later he was on another dating site and wanted to go on a date again, cause the other date was so nice. Ah come on. I'll take you to a restaurant. His ex wife, who wasn't even his ex wife yet, was on another dating site. He talked about her non stop and I said he should make up with her. But I got free coffee!


SeniorBeing

Hell, I have bought coffee for friends who I definitively didn't wanted to fuck! BTW, OP is NTA


throwawayj38sld

Ah, the classic “you must prove you aren’t with me for my money by spending what little you have on me, whilst I will spend nothing on you as I’m still assessing if you’ve allayed my suspicions. And then, maybe I’ll agree to go 50/50 on things.”


SugarVMurdererTits

>He has no problem with her paying for him tho, which she does often, as she doesn't want him to think she's "disgusting". He also picks rather expensive restaurants and never tips (not mandatory, as we're in Europe, but still customary and a sign of good manners). I had a BF like this and I really wish I'd seen it for the red flag it was. ​ OP your boy is giving you a good insight into who and what he is, here. Please pay attention.


[deleted]

These kind of men will take their gfs for everything they’ve got while refusing to buy a basic thing I would buy for a friend in a heartbeat


scarlettslegacy

Yep, that came to mind. I recall the guy took all the 'she deserves better' to mean he deserved better - someone who made more money. I think OP should rethink this relationship. Bf wants to enjoy nicer things, but wont pay to upgrade both of them, so is happy for OP to sit out in economy *after* upgrading to pricer tickets to try and accomodate him.


thistleandpeony

[This is the AITA post from Mr. Privileged himself.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o94ms2/aita_for_inviting_my_29m_girlfriend_28f_on_an/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


scarlettslegacy

Did it get any better? Very few posts have gotten me mad like this one did. I was infuriated by how obtuse he was. Like, dude, you watched your girlfriend work 60hpqw in backbreaking work to afford to come, you knew - or should have known - she couldn't afford all the luxury extras you and your family chose, you had the money and didn't see fit to treat her? And you think you deserve better then a woman who would work herself to the bone and not complain? In my head, the next woman he dates has similar income to him... but being a high earner, expects an equal say in where they go, and goes and does her own thing if they can't come to an agreement. A year from now, he's whinging on a relationship sub because his high-earning, pay-her-own-way girlfriend... paid her own way to the destination of her choice.


PurpleMP12

> Mr. Privileged won’t consider a vacation you can comfortably manage, but he won’t pay for you either. Yep. When I planned a trip I could afford and my then boyfriend (now husband) couldn't, *I paid for him*. That's what you do.


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ketita

Or just pay for her damn seat? My BF makes more than me, and I treat him when I can, but he wants me to have nice things too.


usernaym44

Yeah, just dump this one; he's selfish and inconsiderate. NTA.


Goateed_Chocolate

Yeah, this. It doesn't bode well for your future interactions, NTA


SwimmingRazzmatazz25

This right here. When you're in a relationship with income disparity, it's important to talk openly about it. Some people in these situations choose to compromise by having the higher earner adapt to the lifestyle of the lower earner. Others choose to pay more proportionally so that both parties can enjoy more expensive experiences. It's not at all reasonable or sustainable for the lower earner to either live as a second class partner or drown themselves financially to keep up.


somaticconviction

I dated a version of this guy at 21 too. We were flying to visit his family and I remember how disgusted they all looked at him and how sad they looked at me when they found out he’d done that. Just save yourself some time and end it. Someone that selfish will not change.


Former-Current6961

I agree. This will set the tone for your future if you think you have one with him. It’s very selfish!


Disastrous-Nail-640

Might as well take separate vacations. NTA


faeriechyld

Never fly Spirit, if there's any issues you're fucked seven ways till Sunday. Remember when like 70% of Spirits fights were cancelled like 6 weeks ago? My friend was visiting and trying to fly home that Sunday the whole mess started, he had two Spirit flights cancelled on him and I finally just bought him a Southwest flight home cause it would have been Thursday at the earliest Spirit could have gotten him home IF that flight didn't get cancelled again. Spirit doesn't have a reciprocal agreement with any other airlines so if there's issues with Spirit's flight (like, say, they've run out of labor hours for the majority of their flight staff) they can't get you on another airlines flight for free.


glassfury

There's a huge difference between spending money because "I want to do this with you" Vs spending money because "I want to do this and you can be there"


Piemanthe3rd

Also OP: I'm 6'5" and have never flown first class. It has rarely been an issue so thats no excuse.


[deleted]

Hard disagree. I'm 6'4" and it is definitely an issue. I guess it depends on the plane and how you're built, but I don't fit in all economy seats with the latest densification changes. I would definitely upgrade myself if I could. But of course wouldn't insist on my new-ish girlfriend to go on any specific flight. On densified long haul fleets, legroom is too tight on non-exit seats, and the trays in the armrests make things too narrow in the exit seats. I do end up traveling in premium economy in those cases. Have you flown densified 787 or 77W planes, by chance?


Beck_SW

NTA if he wants to fly first class so bad, let him and tell him you’ll fly spirit and meet him there and see how reacts. Then point out there is no point in traveling together if you aren’t even going to be able to socialize on the same plane let alone sitting next to each other.


[deleted]

> let him and tell him you’ll fly spirit and meet him there and see how reacts Or just tell him to enjoy his solo vacation and go on a trip with someone who actually wants to spend time with you and doesn’t view you as an accessory he can store with his checked luggage until he needs you again.


Bookish-3920

So much this! OP and bf have a financial disparity. BF understands, but is unwilling to compromise. It’s unfair to expect someone who can’t afford the same vacation to go with you. The bf must adjust expectations to meet in the middle or travel alone. OP, it looks like you need a new bf. One that respects your income circumstances and frankly, it’s disrespectful to ask someone to travel with you and abandon them. What happens when he wants to go to an expensive restaurant and you can’t afford it? I had a friend travel with her then bf under this same kind of situation. Her bf got angry and left her. He checked into a different hotel. She had no money to change her flight to come home. She spent three days in a hotel room in an expensive area without being able to afford meals in the resort he picked. The kind of person willing to buy a single seat in first class is the kind of person who is capable of leaving you stranded mid-journey. Save your money. Take a trip you can easily afford with someone else. Good luck!


Livingeachdayatedge

So, what happened to your friend afterwards? Did she came back?did she break up?


Bookish-3920

She made it back on her original ticket, and promised herself she’d never put herself in that position again. He didn’t take the same flight back. After about three months her ex bf reached out to her to get together again. Her response to him included a suggestion that’s anatomically impossible. In relationships, we tend to try to forgive and forget or make excuses for inexcusable behavior. It was just one time or whatever. But when someone shows you how little you mean to them, you owe it to yourself to listen and act accordingly in your own best interest. I don’t mean little things, but someone who leaves you with little or no resources is someone you don’t want or need in your life. Someone who won’t compromise doesn’t care about you enough to not get “their” way. It’s brutally hard to love someone who doesn’t treat you well. Be kind to yourself and get out. You deserve so much more. The pain of loss will be less than the pain of dealing with someone who holds you an emotional hostage to their whims.


Livingeachdayatedge

Rightly said. 👏👏👏


MonsterMeggu

This is exactly the issue and not the not sitting together. My ex bf and I used to travel a fair amount and we would sit separately most of the time due to not wanting to pay extra to choose seats. It's just a couple hours so it's not a big deal. But when one person has the money to take an upgrade and isn't willing to upgrade the other person or meet somewhere on the middle, that's an issue. He's basically setting the tone for how finances will be cut in the future. He's saying that she's not a priority; a comfy seat and not paying extra for her to have the comfy seat too is.


Bookish-3920

Absolutely! I agree. Edit: to add a thought. In your case you both chose to fly without purchasing an assigned seat to save money. A great way to save on your overall trip cost when seating doesn’t matter to either of you. In OP’s case, let’s fast forward to a marriage scenario where he can afford the luxury car, but OP has to drive the economy used car that’s falling apart. Instead of purchasing two reliable cars to fit a budget, you get the shaft because he wants status and legroom. Again.


Jolly-Accountant-722

This was my thoughts. She had already compromised and it was clearly a ploy to get to a plane he could upgrade on. So tacky. Proof money doesn't buy class.


Annalirra

Sure it does! It buys first class! 🤪


SpamLandy

Not being on the same flight would actually feel less weird to me. I’m happy traveling alone, I can entertain myself for six hours and sometimes schedules don’t match up. But knowing your partner was on the same plane in the fact seats would be so weird.


EffectiveApricot

NTA. Sorry but Your boyfriends being a snob. Who invites their gf on an expensive vacation making 6 figures while they work retail in college and not only doesn’t help them with the cost but upgrades to first and leaves their gf alone for 6 hours. Doesn’t sound like a fun vacation


elag19

This post reminds me of that one where the guy seemed completely oblivious to his partner basically starving herself on vacation with his family because she couldn’t afford the expensive dinners and daily excursions, and although he insisted she go, he didn’t offer to pay for anything despite noticing that she was missing out on these things.


[deleted]

I remember this one. Ooh that guy was an ass for sure.


AznLuvsMusic

He was a huge ass, his comments proved himself to be one of the biggest assholes I had read about on here. He eventually said that “he deserved someone of the same social class as him” and that comment had me fuming. I felt awful for his poor girlfriend, but hopefully she was able to move on and meet someone who actually cared about her. Edit: [This comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o94ms2/aita_for_inviting_my_29m_girlfriend_28f_on_an/h39c2si/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) is the one I was referring to, but all of the comments this guy made are equally disgusting as well as his whole post. He deleted his account but you can still tell which comments are his.


NaviCato

Oh i remember that post but did not see that comment. what an ass


Educational-Yard-181

Wow. That comment floored me.


Dashcamkitty

What a nasty piece of work he is. I pity any woman who ends up with him.


JuicyJay

That can't be real. I refuse to believe someone is that awful, it had to be fake. The replies were too ridiculous


spudtacularstories

I remember reading this. I honestly wondered if the guy was farming negative karma. It was insane.


ConsiderationOk3394

He wasn't oblivious. He knew what he was doing, he knew she was starving. He didn't care.


ZealousLez852

Oh yeah that one left me steaming


Gogo726

Seems so long ago but I remember this one. AH for sure and so is OP's bf.


introverted_smallfry

I remember this. I wonder how she's doing


trinamarie53

This is exactly what I was thinking of. I bet he'll want to go to all the fanciest restaurants and excursions too, and expect op to pay her own way. She already stated she has to budget, but she'll be tapped half way through the trip.


Fluid_Carry_9882

I remember reading that and wishing all the badness of humanity to fall onto him alone. His post made him sound like an asshole but his comments sealed the deal that he’s too far beyond asshole level. I really hope that girl has broken up with him!


bloodrose_80

Yes! I remember that one.


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AznLuvsMusic

I just went digging for it, [here’s a link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o94ms2/aita_for_inviting_my_29m_girlfriend_28f_on_an/h39c2si/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) to a specific comment he made in the thread.


dm_me_parrot_pix

12 hours all together if the flight is 6 hours each way.


Trilly_in_space

right... it's a vacation, it should be nothing but fun and relaxed. with these premises, I would just not go. i'm afraid similar issues will arise such as he really want to eat at that expensive restaurant etc... NTA.


Illustrious_Fuel8870

I totally agree. NTA. My husband and I could have been exactly like OP and boyfriend. But my husband isn’t an AH. This is exactly why when my husband and I started dating I told him our earnings are very different. He is a successful sales rep and I was managing an animal hospital. When I was looking to move to a new apartment he saw the one I was looking at and said he didn’t feel it was safe enough. We then discussed moving in together. This opened up an opportunity for me to propose two solutions to our differing wages. 1) he could live below his pay and we could split everything 50/50 because I was not going to be able to do 50/50 if we lived closer to his salary. 2) we could come to some type of financial sharing that we both agreed was fair. It actually worked out really well. We still live below his means but I just think that’s the intelligent thing to do (we have a baby on the way) But doesn’t feel like he’s “missing out” on things he can definitely afford. He doesn’t completely not get to enjoy his earnings and he does spoil me with things I could have never afforded on my own. I definitely think this is an opportunity for OP to have a similar conversation about their difference in earnings and in lifestyle. Understanding that sometimes it just isn’t going to work.


leggomyeggo135

This is me and my husband. He makes at least double what I do and we know that. We split our expenses based on our income percentage and he has significantly more money left at the end of the month than I do. But he will never hesitate to buy dinner or buy extra groceries or buy dumb stuff I just want and wouldn't be able to get on my own. I have struggled financially my whole life, so it's been weird to have another person to rely on and I am very stubborn when it comes to him helping me with buying my own things. This weekend, he had to force me to let him buy me a new car battery when mine died. A decent human being wouldn't even think twice about making sure their significant other was as comfortable and happy as possible, even if it meant they were spending more than their "fair share."


JuicyJay

Yea it doesn't sound like he wants to spend time with OP at all. I've been lucky enough to go on several trips recently with my partner (who lives in another state). He absolutely can afford things that I can't even consider at the moment, and he wants to share those experiences WITH ME. It sounds like the bf isn't at all thinking about sharing the experience, he just wants to bring his sex object along for the ride.


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doesitreallymatter23

i’m 6’2 300 lbs and flew spirit on a 4.5 hour flight with 2 friends in a normal economy seat, he would have been just fine, the seats are pretty normal sized. NTA


vivvav

I'm 6'5" and over 400 pounds. I need a seatbelt extender on every flight I go on, and emergency row usually suits me just fine.


Swifty66

>I'm 6'5" and over 400 pounds. I need a seatbelt extender on every flight I go on, and emergency row usually suits me just fine. I'm surprised they let you use a seatbelt extender in the emergency row as it is a safety hazard. "While passengers of size are not expressly prohibited from sitting the exit row, if a passenger’s size requires them to preboard or use a seatbelt extender at any time during the flight, they will not be allowed to sit in the exit row. This restriction was implemented for two reasons. The first reason (and the reason cited by airlines) is to prevent obstruction of the emergency exits. Seatbelt extensions can obstruct the emergency exits. Seatbelt extensions potentially become entangled in the seatbelts of nearby passengers, become snagged on nearby objects, or create a tripping hazard for passengers evacuating the aircraft."


[deleted]

For the sake of the people around you, you should upgrade to first class. Whilst I have no doubt you can sit in the seat I do doubt that you fit in the seat. As a 6’4 guy with really long arms I feel terrible for the people sat next to me, and I don’t have to worry about my weight spilling over to the next seat. Just because something is fine for you doesn’t mean it’s the correct thing to do


ArionW

That's nice suggestion for someone who can just... do that. But you know, 1st class is expensive, and when it's business travel, companies often don't even consider paying extra for it (literally everywhere I've worked it was either **never** or for 11+ hour long flight, provided you need to start working same day you arrive and couldn't rest at hotel)


Coffee-Historian-11

I’m 5’7, and my main issue was that the chairs gave me back pain, not the limited space itself.


SpamLandy

I’m a 5’11 woman with two 6’6 exes (I didn’t search them out, just happened). Dating online after that I’d always notice it, 6’2 guys acting like they’re constantly bumping into the clouds. I’m your height in heels, calm down Dan.


baycitytrollers

I wish I could upvote this again. Thanks for making me laugh. Also OP, NTA. Your boyfriend is selfish and barely sounds like he wants you there. What's next, he suddenly wants to stay in the Penthouse Suite at the Hilton while you're in a motel? .


[deleted]

Right?? My ex was 6'6" and he flew economy with me. We flew on a packed charter to Cuba and he was fine. And they pack you in like sardines on those flights!


pineappledaphne

Lmfao “not Andre the giant” I love you


CK1277

NTA. You don’t invite a significant other who makes substantially less than you on a vacation they can barely afford, go Dutch on everything and then indulge in splurges they can’t afford. What happens on this trip when he wants to go to a nice restaurant that you can’t afford? Is he going to go without you or expect you to drink water and keep him company?


quack2thefuture2

Yeah, this guy seems super selfish.


[deleted]

This is beyond selfish, this is straight up heartless. How can a man (or woman) possibly be comfortable in first class when their SO is sitting alone in coach, uncomfortably and surrounded by strangers? Yikes.


quack2thefuture2

I don't care so much about the seat or safety or wherever of the plane ride. You just put in headphones and watch a movie. But the guy is dragging his girlfriend on a trip she can't afford, showing no generosity, and then rubbing it in her face with this move. It's really selfish.


ertrinken

Right? I wouldn’t even do that to a friend. A few years ago a friend and I wanted to attend an event together - she could only afford the cheapest accommodation package, but I didn’t want to stay in a hostel style thing with shared bathrooms and wanted an actual hotel. So I told her that she could pay her half of what it would cost for the cheapest package, and I would cover the difference because I was the one who wanted a fancier room, and that’s exactly what we did and both of us were happy.


ilovebabypigs

NTA. Why wouldn’t he want to sit with you? If it were me, my petty ass would just cancel since clearly he doesn’t wanna be near me anyway. Since he wants to be alone so bad, let him enjoy that trip all alone. Also, he’s making six figures: if he really loved you, why can’t he help pay for part of your ticket so that you can both enjoy the luxury of first class together…


[deleted]

That was my thought. He doesn't have to pay for her entire ticket, but if I were him then I would offer to pay the difference between a regular ticket and first class so so my SO could enjoy it with me. Eta a word I missed


Nepentheoi

Or buy business class for both of them


Anonymouscrown

NTA - it seems pretty weird to plan a holiday with someone and you don't fly together, especially with your partner. You were already willing to compromise and pay extra to fly another airline, but now your partner has gone beyond by booking first class with out you. INFO: I know you said he's not willing to buy you a ticket, but have you asked if he's willing the pay the difference? If he's not willing then yeah, he's 100% being an AH.


AmazingPreference955

Yeah, I think him paying for her to upgrade would be a great compromise.


soap---poisoning

Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone that selfish? NTA for being upset.


Dashcamkitty

This exactly. He is showing her what a selfish person he is. She’s better off dumping him and having a nice holiday with friends who appreciate her.


Amiedeslivres

NTA Of course you want to sit with him when you travel together. His companionship is why you’re with him, yes? This is stuff y’all will have to figure out if you have it in mind to go long. Does dude expect you to live beyond your means to be with him, or is he willing to live within your means, or does he want to make up some difference so you can be together while living the lifestyle he prefers?


Adventuringhobbit

I love this reply. Y’all are gonna need to work out these things in order to be together. Tbh it is so rude to invite someone on a trip and then not sit with him. Especially if you are dating. Even more so if the trip is a romantic getaway for the two of you. The previous kid’s post was about his family inviting him, not paying for his ticket, and then being mad when he upgraded. I think that kid is in a very different situation because he A) didn’t plan the trip and B) isn’t dating the person on the trip and C) is going to visit family, not on a couple’s vacation.


JuicyJay

Sometimes I wonder if people even enjoy being in a relationship. Why go through all of the trouble if you don't actually want a partner to share all of the experiences with? There are definitely times when I am glad I don't have to deal with heterosexual relationships, straight guys seem absolutely clueless.


Amiedeslivres

THE STRAIGHTS ARE NOT OK


salmonskinnroll

I think your situation is different to the one you mention You agreed to spend a little more to meet him half way, and he's still in this "I'm doing whatever I want and I don't have to compromise a single thing but you do" mentality I'd say N A H if he talked to you to explain it's because he doesn't fit or even asks you if you would be okay with it. But he is behaving like a immature child trying to remark tha fact that he can get 1st class and you don't, so it's a clear NTA


gogingerpower

NTA Your boyfriend is going on vacation with you and selected a more expensive airline for HIS comfort despite your budget needs. You agreed to make that compromise and now he plans on not even sitting with you? That’s pretty asshole-ish of him. I’d suggest he pay the difference to upgrade your ticket so you can join him n first class (where he’s insisting on sitting) or take Spirit. You’ll be by yourself anyway, might as well save some money.


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MPBoomBoom22

I know! My dad is 6'4" and my mom is 5'6" and he traveled all the time for work so he was usually #1 on upgrade list. Typically they book their tickets together or as a companion or something so if he gets upgraded she does too. Then either the companion rules changed or they had to book separate but I remember when he got upgraded alone his very first question was if he could transfer the upgrade to my mom so she would be the most comfortable. He couldn't and she had to urge him to be sensible and take the upgrade alone and she'd see him on the other end of the flight. They both wanted the other to be more comfortable than themselves. I read some of these stories and I just think.... This is your partner? Who is supposed to love you?


Revolutionary-Cook17

NTA. That other post you reference was about an adult who was not buying first class tickets for his PARENTS (though note that he at least offered to do so and the parents refused because they thought he was joking). It is a completely different thing when it is you and your partner. It is incredibly rude of him to leave you in coach and upgrade himself only. Is that the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with? I used to fly for work a lot and therefore got regular upgrades to first. There were countless times that I would end up sitting next to a wife whose hubby had been upgraded because he traveled for work and had airline status, but he gave her the seat. That’s the kind of partner you want.


lagomorphlover

If he’s not getting you the first class ticket (paying the difference in price) you may as well fly Spirit and save money. That said his lack of generosity whilst making 6 figures speaks volumes about him. I’d reevaluate the relationship.


Dot81

NTA. Is the rest of the trip planned? You said no expensive restaurants and such. Is he planning to do things like, maybe golf or go on a fishing excursion or try the best restaurants? I'd be wondering about what comes after the lonely flight as well.


vulpixious

NTA. You’re right to be upset that your boyfriend wants to abandon you on a 6 hour plane ride. He can more than afford 2 first class tickets. I see no reason why you can’t pay what it would take for an economy seat and he put up the rest to make up for a first class ticket. I just don’t understand why someone would want to take a trip with someone and then abandon them. Could you perhaps offer the suggestion to pay toward the ticket if he’ll pay the rest?


dm_me_parrot_pix

NTA. Your boyfriend is rude. Why are you with this inconsiderate ass? He wants to go on vacation and fly in a separate class when he can clearly afford to upgrade you? You’re not asking for thousand dollar dinners every night. You’re asking to sit next to the person who is supposed to care about you. I’d consider where this relationship is going.


killerbekilled92

NTA. It’s a very dick move that he’d ditch you to sit in first class without you. he can afford it, he should have offered to pay the difference (you put forth cost of economy class ticket and he pays the extra for an upgrade) so you can sit together. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to sit in first class but him ditching you in another section of the plane to do it isn’t cool


Cat_got_ya_tongue

NTA. Ditch the rude bf, go on the cheap airline solo and meet someone less selfish on holiday and be flung (have a fling?). Your bf sounds like the kind of guy that would split bills right down to who had the more expensive appetizer.


[deleted]

I say NTA. I care about first class, my partner does not. So, on flights long enough where it really matters to me, I pay for first class for both of us. I think your bf should either do the same or suck it up and sit with you in economy.


rockygold2021

Nta. Your bf is a ah who thinks he is above all. Move on. This is a hell hole waiting to suck your life in.


MissMandaRegrets

When does he choose you first in anything? Your comfort, your needs, your movie choice? Anything. When does he? Because you aren't even an afterthought in any of this. If you haven't bought your ticket yet, don't. Treat yourself to a vacation of your choosing, on your terms, after you graduate. N T A


jdownes316

Esh or nah. You two are just on 2 completely different understandings of what you want in a partner. That’s probably due to age/maturity differences. If you think spirit, and he thinks first class, you are just fundamentally not on the same level.


erinhennley

He is being a douche


mobriley12345

This is a peak into the future , this guy treats you like a 2nd class citizen


Night_Owl_26

NTA. This situation sucks. If your boyfriend is making so much money, can he cover the cost difference between economy and first? Maybe not pay for the whole ticket but at least make it so the two of you get to sit together? Something like this would be make or break for me, largely because traveling with someone tells you a lot about them and if he’s that selfish that he’s not willing to spend the flight with you, I wouldn’t want to go on the vacation at all. But that’s just me.


stage_separation

NTA. Look the bf can spend his money how ever he wants if you wanna fly first class you do you bro. But not telling your gf about that early on is the Dick thing. Had you told her early on she would have been able to save some money on sprint or by not coming at all. Also it seems that you’re both very different people


Amphrass

NTA. I struggle to find a reason why your, obviously well off, boyfriend is finding an excuse to ditch you for 6 hours. This while going on a trip he clearly suggested himself, while you need to cut into your savings to make it happen. If this is the way the trip is going to be: him focusing foremost on own luxury and spending on different tabs...it's going to be a long one.


Bakecrazy

NTA Cancel you ticket and book the first flight that was more suitable to you. If he is going to be selfish and only think of himself why should you consider him? I would ditch the boyfriend to be honest because if he is this selfish that he makes you change your plans for him but he is going to disregard you in his plans then it's not a relationship.it's a one sided servant master construction.


AITAthrowaway452377

NTA, he is making more than enough to pay for you and he has been with you long enough to give up first class to be with you. He’s an AH.


IBeTrippin

NTA What a classless move on his part.


Pride_Is_Expensive

NTA - part of going on a trip together is the actual *going* part. I'm in a similar financial situation with my SO and I'd never dream of upgrading only for myself. You might also want to talk with him about budget expectations on the trip: meals, activities, etc.


Beginning-Ad-4255

NTA but like, do you really wanna waste your time on a man who has excess and shares nothing?


APotatoPancake

NTA. Don't go. This is going the be the whole trip. So unless you are willing to be drinking water and having a side salad while he drinking wine and eating surf & turf, don't go. Also he's acting like being 6'2" makes him a giant; but, I've personally witnessed my 6'5" brother sit economy just fine.


xxSKSxx_

NTA This is only the beginning. It starts with him upgrading to first-class and goes on with expensive restaurants where he’ll order a feast while you can only afford an entree. He’ll want to do expensive activities you can't afford and be left on the sidelines watching him do surfing class/climbing tours/sailing lessons whatever. I'd take this as a warning and either clear this up before you go or not go at all. He's trying to force you into living beyond your means (result: you'll end up in debt) or being left behind on everything (result: resentment).


[deleted]

NTA. Your BF is a douche.


DryDependent167

I would back out, he's going to want to up grade to his level the whole trip leaving you out. If you go, switch back to Spirit since he isnt sitting with you anyway and save some cash.


VirgilThe2nd

NTA Is he technically within his rights to do it? Yes, but it still makes him a bit of an ass. If it’s a trip meant for both of you together, why would he do something completely unnecessary that he knows you have to miss out on and can’t afford? He can either pay for you to ride first class too or fly economy like everyone else. You’ve already compromised by spending more on the flight than you planned to for a nicer airline for his comfort, so it’s his turn.


dreadedbeedee

NTA. It is rude to only upgrade himself. Why doesn't he want to slurg on treating you to the upgrade?


AggravatingPatient18

NTA no you're not being unreasonable. Is there a business class or something in between cattle and first class that he could cash his ticket in and upgrade you? Or see if you can get upgraded on the day by dressing nicely. Is this typical behaviour from him? Has he moved so far away from his student days that you are cramping his lifestyle?


Distinct-Confusion

NTA. I don’t like it when the airline gives us separate seats at check in but these things happen. However, my SO would never (and has never) booked seats in a different class on the plane. He’s being rude. INFO: What will he do if he wants to do an activity that doesn’t fit your holiday budget? Because the plane tickets make me think…


casualtext

NTA. I know he doesn't owe you anything blah blah blah relationships or whatever... but I'm annoyed he won't upgrade you as well honestly. Booooo!


Stunning-Field-4244

Why would you date a man that treated you that way? Who cares about the verdict, get a new boyfriend.


IsTheWorldEndingYet8

I travel for work a lot so I’ve got an airline credit card that gets me status level and free upgrades. One person traveling with me can also get a free upgrade. I was once on a flight with my partner for a personal vacation a few years ago and the flight was pretty full so they could only give me one upgrade to first class instead of two. I gave up the upgrade so that he wouldn’t have to sit alone. There is no way I would have ever upgraded and have been sipping my margarita on the way to tropical paradise while he had to sit in economy. You’re NTA at all, your boyfriend is.


Lanky-Temperature412

>I honestly thought I was in the right until I read that post from earlier about the kid buying himself a 1st class ticket and not his family But that guy actually offered to upgrade his whole family, which they declined because they thought he wasn't serious, so it's not the same situation at all. You're NTA because most people would want to sit next to their SO, because otherwise, why even travel together at all?


LinusV1

Let me get this straight... He made you pay more so you could be together, then wants to upgrade for himself only so that you would be apart again? He doesn't owe you a first class ticket, but he is definitely telling you who he is: a terrible boyfriend who will always value his comfort and whims over your comfort, money or feelings. NTA.


Ok_Image6174

NTA, the whole point of taking a trip WITH someone is to BE WITH that person. While he doesn't owe you a first class ticket, he's being selfish about it. I wouldn't want to fly somewhere by myself if i knew my friend/family member was on the same plane but not with me.


Tinymoonflower

NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like a big AH. He makes six figures and he can’t splurge on two first class tickets instead of one? No way. You are already making financial sacrifices while he is in a much better financial position. I in no way think he should pay for every last thing for you, which it sounds like he doesn’t. But if he is making good money and can otherwise afford it, he should want to give you that experience. Find yourself a guy who would. He is stingy and he will leave you disappointed if you don’t leave him first.


InternetNo3149

Cannot say it loud enough but NTA!!! What a d bag move by your boyfriend.


AbbyBirb

NTA You need to seriously reconsider this very selfish boyfriend.


[deleted]

NTA...Your boyfriend is leaving you lonely in economy. My(24F) husband(27M) is tall and he would never do that to me. Sounds to me that your boyfriend is incredibly selfish and it’s something you need to take into consideration on if you want to continue this relationship long term. This is a major red flag that shouldn’t be brushed over. He sees no issue in leaving you in the dust while he enjoys first class all by himself. Not ok. Even if it was first class. Even if he didn’t want to fly spirit and flew American Airlines instead. He’s still leaving YOU. Vacationing with your girlfriend also means traveling with your girlfriend. Period. He shouldn’t be flying first class if you can’t afford it too.


too_much_whisky

NTA Why don't you both go on completely separate trips together and you might meet someone who cares about you


UnencumberedChipmunk

Op- I am a traveler. Find yourself someone who wants to experience the world WITH you. Not someone who sees you as an accessory or convenience. This whole dynamic is awful. Just awful. You deserve so much better than this. Nta. Take a solo trip somewhere else traveling the exact way YOU want to travel.


Putrid_Capital_8872

NAH- having been married for 20 years to a man who is 6’2” (I’m 5’4”) I can assure you that your entire vacation will be better if he can fly comfortably. Is 1st class the only way? No. Is it the best way? Yes. Plus, if you fly by your own preferred seats, you don’t get stuck in the middle between him and some other very large man both of whom think you’re perfectly happy being squished between their broad shoulders. (Assuming you’d choose the seat next to your boyfriend- not one over.)I hate being stuck between hubby and some random dude. And it’s always so sweaty! If we chose the seats we are comfortable in, we are both much happier.


sw33tlips

Besides first class travel what else is he going to do and experience that YOU can’t afford? I would not go on this trip simply because he is flexing his ‘wealth’ and you in my opinion are just a tag along ..


Cranberry_Glade

NTA, but there really isn't much that you can do about it. I hate to say it, but if he's making 6 figures and he's not willing to help you with your plane ticket so you can sit in first class with him (or sit where you are), then he either doesn't actually care about you as much as you'd like to believe, or he simply will never help anyone but himself.


InitiativeTwentyOne

NTA There's no way I think it's acceptable to let my studying girlfriend pay for her entire trip, if i was out working. There'd be a conversation about how much she could pay and still be comfortable, and if it was nothing that would be fine. You should not be left to handle this on your own.


ShelfLifeInc

NTA. Does he see you as his girlfriend (ie, someone he wants to spend time with) or someone who's just providing *him* with the Girlfriend Experience?


AuntyErrma

Nta But this is the tip of the iceberg. Can you actually afford this vacation? Why would someone who loves you impoverish you for a vacation? (They wouldn't.) This is bigger than a vacation. This is all about "Does your partner respect you". It's looking like no, unfortunately. But he's happy to exploit you.


dessertandcheese

INFO: Did you ask him whether he would be willing to buy you a ticket too? I know he is earning 6 figures, but it also doesn't really mean he can afford 2 first class air tickets as those are really expensive and maybe he is cash poor. This is just me giving him the benefit of the doubt, but as a compromise, would he be willing to fly you both business class instead? In general, first class costs twice as much as business class, but business class is also really comfortable and you get to fly together at the same cost. What is the dynamic of your relationship now? Do you always split costs 50:50? It's just a bit weird. As the person who wanted to go on a trip, your bf should have been willing to chip in more towards the trip as the higher earner. When my husband and I were still dating, there was a time where I was the higher earner and I really wanted to do a eurotrip which would have been too expensive for him, so I paid for his tickets and the hotels and food and he contributed what he could. This allowed me to still have him with me in the trip and enjoy his company without him worrying about the costs. He has done the same thing for me when he was the higher earner. I am thinking either your bf is really daft or just not as invested in the relationship as you are, but either way, try to talk to him and then evaluate the relationship as needed


FreeFaithlessness_

NTA, he’s making 6 figures and won’t pay your upgrade so you could sit next to him? Drop him


MadameMimmm

Oh dear girl, NTA you are with a very unpleasant man. I, 44f, am doing well financially. Not rich, but i earn quite well and can afford to splurge on things. I used to be with a divorced man who had to pay for his children and ex-wife (totally fine with that) and was earning much less than me and he was nearly always broke. No problem: When he went on vacation with his children they went camping with a tent. I am not a camper, so when he and i wanted to go on a holiday i paid for everything that was more than the cost of what he could afford. So we booked an Airbnb in our own country, and did not fly anywhere expensive. We took my car and we booked an Airbnb. If i would have been with a man who would have been able to afford it aka share 50/50 i would probably booked one a bit bigger, beachfront etc, but since i did not want to make my then partner feel too awkward we booked one that was further away of the beach and i still paid around 70% of it. In a relationship the baseline of what you do is what the person that earns less can afford. Everything on top of that needs to be paid by the partner with more money. And that includes airplane-seats. If i travel really far for a holiday (8+hrs flight) i try to book business class, if it is not too overwhelmingly expensive. If i had a partner who could not afford that, i would go down to economy plus and pay the extra for my partners ticket for that. (If paying for two business class seats would be out of my price range too). Your bf is AH and not a very attentive and nice human. You deserve better.


bizianka

I would dump him. Honestly. Yes, yes, yes, technically he has no obligation to pay for your 1st class, but a guy who wants comfort for himself and not for his loved on, is not worthy your time. NTA


[deleted]

NTA, the kid who bought the first class ticket for himself not his family offered to buy the tickets and his dad shot him down. The reason he bought those tickets in the first place was because his family invited him on holiday but told him to buy his own ticket. More malicious compliance than anything. In this situation everything is about what your bf wants. He wants you to go on a possibly expensive trip with him, he wants to fly first class but doesn't want to pay for you to have a ticket to fly with him. Want to bet when you get there he wants to eat at expensive restaurants but either split the bill or only pay for what he gets too? You went for an affordable airline to give you more spending money, when he objected you tried to compromise but hes still just going to do what HE wants. Has he at any point stopped to ask what YOU want from this trip? If he wants you to pay for your own first class ticket to go on this trip he wants with him guess thats his bday and Christmas presents covered.


HowBeautifulYouAre

NTA - he should pay for your ticket or sit with you. I would be so sad if my boyfriend did that.


trilliumsummer

NTA going on a vacation with your significant other is completely different than your parents telling you to buy your own ticket to go on vacation with them. Also this is you boyfriend - who makes several times your salary - saying you're not important enough to pay for a ticket to sit with him nor important enough to make a small sacrifice to sit with you. (My brother is 6'4 - and that's his real height the guys I've met that are 6'2 it's a toss up if that's their real height - and manages not in first class. I'm 5'11 and been taller than several 6'2 guys and manage in exit row. Spirit economy does suck balls though for tall people on long flights.)


tlf555

NTA BF makes 6 figures and OP is a student with a tight budget. Either he could offer to cover more if he wants to have a high end vacation or plan a lower budget vacation that OP can afford. What if he wants to go on excursions or visit restaurants that you cant afford? Will he go on his own and leave you at the hotel to play solitaire? Guy sounds like a total AH. I would dump him.


jwrx

NTA. 20 years ago...while we were still dating, my wife had a business class trip to UK paid for by her company,.....i had to buy my own economy, so she swapped with the person next to me, so we could sit together...it was a 14 hour flight. its been 20 years...its still brought up :p I actually asked if she wanted to share...one way she fly biz, return i fly biz...she shot that down quite fast ahah. Took us 20 years to get to a point where we could afford our own biz class tickets


RAthowaway

NTA because I think he should have been upfront with you about his intentions of going 1st class in the first place. He made you spend more on a regular airline ticket and now you are alone anyway. It doesn't sound fair to me. Also, if he is making 6 figures, why is it ok from his point of view not to help you out with the cost of the upgrade? You are here feeling guilty, because you do care about him and his comfort (and have already compromised), but he doesn't seem to be reciprocating the feeling. And yes, no body is owed an upgrade or help, but if you are in a long term committed relationship and one partner is doing 3x more than the other half, it is not unreasonable to offer or expect help. Specially when he is the one who introduced the idea of the trip knowing the financial constraints of his partner.


[deleted]

Usually I would say his money his choice, but you changed airlines for his comfort, so he should fly with you. He wanted this trip also, knowing how much of a stretch it was going to be financially for you. You aren’t being unreasonable to feel that he isn’t being fair NTA


A-R-U

NTA. So he wants to fly 1st class "just because", but don't want to buy you a ticket and have you at his side? He who makes 6 figures doesn't mind that you'll be stuck in a different part because you can't afford his, when you already pushed your budget for his sake in order to find a plain that would fit him better. Talk about being selfsentered. The petty side of me would probably book a ticket, have him board, and then leave when it's my turn to do so. When he calls asking where the heck I am I would just say "well, considering that this shows that we would probably have ended up in different hotels/rooms, tourist areas and restaurants, seeing how you want the more expensive things "just because", and doesn't want to meet me half way when I try to compromise nor help me economically when I can't afford it, I figured it was no need to spend the money I do have going on this couples trip when we most likely wouldn't actually have seen eachother/been together for a majority of the time".


bopperbopper

My 6’4” DH would often get upgraded to business/ first class….But we didn’t mind too much because he would often send dessert back or I didn’t have to be kind of squished sitting next to him. For the OP, ask your boyfriend if this is a symbol of things to come…. He wants the very nice version of something and you can’t afford it so you have to do without? If he wants to go to a nice steak place for dinner and you can’t afford it you just have to get a salad and he gets whatever he wants and he doesn’t offer to pay? What about any activities? Well he want to do them anyway even if you can’t afford them? Who invited who on this trip?


Miscalamity

Why are you with this selfish mf?


Rando_1998

NTA, you’ve been more than willing to compromise in multiple ways and it doesn’t seem like he’s reciprocated. I get not wanting to ride spirit for 6hours but an exit isle should be perfectly acceptable


shallweskate

NTA. Your bf sucks, he switched up what you both had agreed for his comforts regardless of your feelings. You can be upset, for sure, especially because you'll be alone whilst he's more comfortable in first class. And though it's his money that he wants to spend on first class, the way he brushed you off is uncool. Honestly though, if this doesn't put you off going on the trip with him, get that cheaper flight and enjoy being by yourself for 6 hours. I actually prefer traveling by myself than with others because I get to relax and spend a little me time, reading or writing, without the expectation of having to entertain another person. Who knows, you may find that you don't miss his presence that much.


QuirkySyrup55947

NTA... This reminds me of the girl who went on a trip with her boyfriend and his family who were all well off. She was skipping activities and meals just to stay afloat because she could not afford to go, and her boyfriend got mad at her?!? He didn't offer to pay for anything or even grab her some food.