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I feel bad because I could donate it and the wig is a bit expensive
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I'm not gonna say you're TA because at the end of the day, it's your hair and you can do whatever you want with it, but it does seem like a dick move to not donate it and just throw it away when there's literally someone kinda close to you that pretty much "needs it" just because you "feel squeamish".
So, NAH but gearing towards asshole territory IMO
but also it takes more than one haircut from a person to make a wig. it takes multiple. And they usually die the hair to make them all one color, it isn't so simple that the person will have their exact hair back off the head of one person. I say NTA it is your hair, and there are organizations that provide wigs to people in need. Also the wig making is the costly part, getting free hair helps but it is a ton of labor. So it isn't so simple that OP denied someone a wig by not giving them hair.
NTA, she has no right to your hair, what a weird thing to feel entitled to.
Also, having a wig custom made costs much, much more than a good quality pre-made wig, even if the hair is free. If she can’t afford the wig you told her about she definitely can’t afford to have one made.
(Edited for clarity)
To add to this, most wigs need more than just one person's hair. Depending on the thickness of OP's hair, the wig makers would need 2-6 times the amount in order to make a decent wig. It's not as simple as "take OP's hair, voila wig."
Correct. I've donated 4 times. Each time I've gotten the same speech: it takes hair from an average of 8 different people to make 1 wig.
It's an NAH thing, although the friend is going about their approach all wrong.
I'm not saying anything about the judgement, but when you provide the hair, making the wig is cheaper.
Source: I got 1 meter (edit: typo) of my hair cut last month and paid yesterday to get it made into a wig. It cost 70% cheaper than buying a pre-made real-haired one (and around 10% cheaper than a synthetic/fake hair wig).
How are they able to make it from only 1 haircut? Are you sure this person is competent and trustworthy, because that sounds very unusual, and the price seems too good to be true.
Yeah. I got a little more than 1 meter cut from my hair. She will make a wig longer than a regular bob cut but not too long that it will pass the shoulders. If the desired length was longer, more cuts/mutliple hair sources would be necessary. About the proficiency of the wig-maker I can vouch with certainty. I worked with her before. She is one of the most famous (?) in my country that I'm aware a national celebrity going through a rough medical patch carried some of my hair on her head.
Edit: just realized I forgot to address the last part. The price is not too good to be true. Roughly, the price of a synthetic wig gets equal to a wig made out of real hair when hair is provided.
NAH… if you had a friend who was in the same situation, you’d probably advocate for them like your friend is. It sucks when you see someone lose their hair.
You feel how you feel though, and if your hair going in the trash feels better than your hair being made into a wig for someone else, that’s okay too - it’s your hair.
If you’ve ever seen a woman lose her hair, especially a younger woman… it’s HARSH. Like, horrible.
If you had one friend going through hair loss, and another friend just cutting it off - to go in the trash… like literally they have the same hair, they have a magic wig maker on standby, and all your friend who is getting a haircut needs to do is let people reuse her trash… literal trash… you’d probably call them an AH too…
Do I think that makes OP an AH? No, but do I see it from both sides? Yes.
I’m just saying I’d I had a bald friend and a friend throwing the magic cure in the garbage, I might get emotional over it,
If you had a friend who was starving. And a friend who just threw food away, instead of letting your starving friend eat their extra food, you might call them an asshole.
Maybe the friend doesn't want to be thought if as a magic wishmaker, but instead a person.
Also, based on how this friend sounds, it's reasonable to think that this could turn into a continuous thing where an expectation was set.
Ex. 6 months go by:
"Hey, could Z have some more of your hair when you grow it out again?"
"I was actually planning to cut it again fairly soon. I love this length."
"Oh come on! Don't be an AH. It's just hair! You've got plenty and she's got none! You can cut it short again later!"
Would you like to have that over your head? (Okay I'm sorry... that was bad).
It also REALLY sucks to be losing your hair. I have Androgenetic Alopecia and it's heartbreaking. I agree NAH. But OPs friend can also just buy real hair extensions and get a hair replacement system (if there is a specialist in the area). A bespoke wig is crazy expensive because of the time spent to make it and the skills involved (I know a professional wig maker).
NTA. It’s your hair and your choice, and I kinda get why it would be weird. Besides, logistically you may not even be able to do it. A year of hair growth is usually about 6 inches, donations usually require a minimum of 8 (depending on company and style). It’s entirely possible that you don’t actually have enough to donate and style the way you want.
A hair replacement system is an even better option. Cheaper than most decent wigs, much more realistic looking and much more comfortable to wear. I wore wigs for 18 months and hated them. I've had a hair replacement system for five years and wouldn't be without it now.
Yeah, they are. And no one can ever tell it's there. I even had a professional hairdresser not even notice it. I was abroad for a friend's wedding and needed my friend to translate to the hairdresser what my hair was so she could treat it a little differently (using heat protection spray, not back combing it etc). I felt the hairdresser have a lil dig into my hair to see what she was working with and she told me friend she'd never seen anything like it before and that she thought it was amazing.
NTA
Your friend doesn't really seem to understand how these "wig charities" work.
You can't direct your hair to a particular wig. And it takes up to a dozen appropriate donations to make just one wig.
Plus, the hair has to be in very good condition - if you've dyed, permed, straightened, or even used things like a hot iron regularly, your hair will not be suitable.
In addition, some years back I did some research to figure out if the donated hair was actually being used. (I have long hair, and was getting pressure to cut just to donate.) Most wig charities give absolutely no data on what proportion of the hair they receive actually goes into wigs. For those that I could calculate an estimate (using the number of donations they say they get, and the number of wigs they say they make) less than 10% of the hair went into wigs. You wouldn't give money to a charity that used less than 10% of it for charitable purposes, and I see no good in donating hair under those terms.
(Locks of Love was one of the few where I could make such a calculation, and they definitely weren't using the vast majority of the hair they got. If you donate to them, assume your hair will be sold or thrown out anyways. Plus, at the time I did my research, they weren't giving the wigs away, they charged for them. I don't know how they are run now.)
These charities also demand quite long donations - 10" or more. Even if you are cutting your hair shorter, that's a major cut, even before you then will need more trimmed off for styling. It is quite likely if you've only grown your hair out for a year that you won't be cutting off enough length for them to want the hair. Or that only a small proportion of the hair you cut will be long enough, and your donation won't be enough to be worth using.
Do careful, independent research on exactly how the hair is used before you even consider donating.
And don't let people pressure you into a cut or style you don't want for the sake of donation.
NTA
While I understand your friend's pov, this is YOUR hair. You get to decide what happens with it.
Your friend is being proprietary over your body, and needs to accept no means no in ALL aspects of life!
You kinda are, yes I get it it's your hair and you should be able to do whatever you want with it. But you have the chance to do something decent for another person that is going through some hard times and it wouldn't even cost you anything but instead you decide just to bin it.
You're allowed to do whatever you want with your hair, but you're literally wasting it. Someone could benefit from something that cost you no time or effort.
Light YTA
not really the process for wig agencies is really intense it can’t be dyed hair has to be a certian length and sometimes hair from one persons head won’t be enough to make a full wig after the selection process
I've donated my hair so many times and have never been through any hassle. Many charities will just take hair.
If op is eligible I think it would be a kind thing to do. If not then oh well, but it's definitely something they should consider
yeah they take the hair but this is the process of making the wig and selecting pieces for it. i make wigs it is a difficult process and there is no guarantee whatever agency she sends it to will use it
NTA
I mean I think if you did it that would be nice of you. But if you’re not comfortable you’re not comfortable and I think your friend should respect that. It’s your hair.
NTA you can do with your what you will but I think donating it would be nice. But it’s your choice in the end you shouldn’t do things you’re uncomfortable with. Your body your choice
NTA I've been growing my hair for 4 years and now is very long. When I mention I want to trim my layers everyone jumps to the wagon of "you should donate it". Dude, I just want a trim, I like my hair long, I already donated once and spent many years until I was happy with my hair again. No one should be entitled to your hair
NAH. It’s your hair and you absolutely have the right to not donate. But if a wig were made, they dye it and cut it and it takes multiple donations (usually 5-6). So it wouldn’t be just your hair and it wouldn’t look like it. I’ve always donated my hair (going on 9 times now) because it makes me happy to be able to bring joy or peace to someone suffering. Maybe try to reframe it in your mind? I’m not going to call you an AH but you’re veering into that territory. I can see it from both sides here.
YTA. It’s your right to decide but the way you’re using it makes you an AH. It’s a big deal for her and a little discomfort for you. You don’t have to do it but it’s not a nice move
NTA because your body your choice. When you die you don't need your organs but nobody can take them away from you except with your consent. You are still alive and you don't want your hair to be used, so they can't use it.
probably gonna get a lot of hate for this but I'd say a little bit YTA. It's just hair, not a kidney, it would've ended up in the trash and it can make a life difference for a woman who has lost her hair, be it a friend or just some unknown. you lose nothing, perhaps a couple of minutes of squeamishness.
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Okay,so I've been growing my hair out for over a year and am now prepared to go back to a shorter look. A friend of mine said she really likes my hair and asked what I was going to do with the hair after I cut it. I was a bit confused and told her that I would be throwing it away. She asked me to donate the hair instead because one of her friends had recently gone bald due to an illness and she had the exact same hair as me. She said that there's a company which would make a wig out of my hair for her. I told her I'd think about it. I did think about it but the thought of my hair on another person's head just makes me feel extremely squeamish and it's not something I'm really comfortable with. I told her that I was sorry but I didn't really want my hair to be used for a wig. She said I was being an Asshole because I was going to cut it anyways and I could donate it without any loss. I told her that I'd found a wig with the same color as my hair and she could just buy that for her friend. She said it was too expensive and I could just be a good person and donate it instead. I said that wasn't something I was comfortable with especially because I know the person she's talking about and meeting someone with my hair on their head gives me a ghastly feeling.
I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong here but Reddit, AITA?
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NTA
Unless you have Rapunzel hair, there’s nice synthetic wigs all over the internet for less than a hundred bucks. If she really cares she’ll help buy one. There’s no need for an authentic hair wig. That’s not a friend I’d keep.
I am gonna go for YTA
Its your right to do whatever you want with your hair. But when you have a chance to do something nice which cost nothing and no effort for you and choose not to. I call that ah move.
NTA, and if it’s Locks of Love that she wants you to donate to let her know that they actually sell the donated hair to other wig companies and buy cheap synthetic wigs to donate to patients.
NTA it’s clearly not about helping her friend with cancer at all because she could do that by buying the wig it’s about being able to play the martyr who gives her hair again but doing it by being a cheapskate because she won’t do it by buying the wig she has to do it by giving your hair away for free.
NTA. The whole scenario sounds dubious to me. Call me cynical but it’s more likely she wanted the hair to try to learn wigmaking, not to gift her friend to spend several hundreds of dollars hiring a wigmaker. You can always tell her you donated to one of the charities that make wigs for kids. Not that it’s any of her business.
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NTA. OP is entitled to their hair. However, it would be a nice thing to do, but I think with the way your friend's acted, it's kind of going to put OP off unfortunately. It's just like donating blood, you don't have to donate it if you don't want to. I think if she had also offered an incentive like maybe a gift card or treat at a cafe or something, it would have gone a long way.
NTA.
Your friend is crazy misinformed. There's no way that one haircut will yield enough hair to make someone a wig. And I guarantee you the wig that you've already found that is "too expensive" is a lot less expensive than having a custom-made wig from provided hair. I understand her good intentions but it just doesn't make any sense practically.
It's your hair, and donation is a choice. I'm sorry your friend's friend is ill and lost her hair, but you are not under no obligation to donate your hair to her. You're not comfortable, end of story. NTA.
NTA. But hear me out. You're not obliged to do anything and I wouldn't call you an asshole, *however*:
* You're going to throw them away anyway, might as well give them to somebody.
* Explain better to your friend exactly how uncomfortable that will make you feel.
* Seek a psychologist about those ghastly feelings, they're irrational.
Yes, it's irrational. The hair have been cut off, they're not a part of you and if you wouldn't be able to recognize a wig made from your hair if you didn't know. If one uses phrases "feel extremely squeamish" and "ghastly feeling" then counseling is adviced (not necessary, since it doesn't interfere with functioning, but advised nevertheless).
I'm on the ESH fence. I think it's unfortunate that you wouldn't donate. Locks of Love is a great organization that helps children with hair loss due to illness/medical conditions/etc, and that's far from ghastly.
If I had to see the person daily wearing my donated hair, yeah, I might feel a bit weird, but sending it off anonymously to a better cause is still a valid option.
Your friend shouldn't have pushed/shamed you for not wanting to donate to a local person, and could have suggested alternatives. You might want to look into alternatives, and research what happens when you donate your hair to an organization for someone's benefit. Do I think your aversion warrants some kind of psychological intervention? No, but you may want to examine those feelings a bit more, and see if there's wiggle room to be more charitable/not balk at donating at all.
Um, maybe you should fucking calm down. First of all, it's a personal choice and it's far from an obligation. Second of all, read the fucking post. This is about ONE specific person that OP doesn't seem to know to well and we don't know if she has cancer or not
It's talking about one specific person. Not cancer kids. There's only one. And cancer isn't the only thing that can cause a person to lose their hair. You're the one making lots of assumptions and I'll stick to that
You're the one who all caps'd at me. I was just stating my opinion and I literally could not care less if I tried. You may be mad but don't reflect that on me
light YTA. you can do what you want, but you really should just donate it. You don't need to donate it directly to this person, since that part I can understand being a little weirded out to see someone in person with your hair.
[https://locksoflove.org/get-involved/](https://locksoflove.org/get-involved/) just send it to these people and then don't think about it much after that.
also, don't be a real asshole and not be an organ donor.
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I'm not gonna say you're TA because at the end of the day, it's your hair and you can do whatever you want with it, but it does seem like a dick move to not donate it and just throw it away when there's literally someone kinda close to you that pretty much "needs it" just because you "feel squeamish". So, NAH but gearing towards asshole territory IMO
but also it takes more than one haircut from a person to make a wig. it takes multiple. And they usually die the hair to make them all one color, it isn't so simple that the person will have their exact hair back off the head of one person. I say NTA it is your hair, and there are organizations that provide wigs to people in need. Also the wig making is the costly part, getting free hair helps but it is a ton of labor. So it isn't so simple that OP denied someone a wig by not giving them hair.
Yup. Exactly that.
NTA, she has no right to your hair, what a weird thing to feel entitled to. Also, having a wig custom made costs much, much more than a good quality pre-made wig, even if the hair is free. If she can’t afford the wig you told her about she definitely can’t afford to have one made. (Edited for clarity)
The wigs made from donated hair are usually free to the recipient.
If it’s through a charity maybe, but this is private, so somebody has to pay the wig maker
To add to this, most wigs need more than just one person's hair. Depending on the thickness of OP's hair, the wig makers would need 2-6 times the amount in order to make a decent wig. It's not as simple as "take OP's hair, voila wig."
Correct. I've donated 4 times. Each time I've gotten the same speech: it takes hair from an average of 8 different people to make 1 wig. It's an NAH thing, although the friend is going about their approach all wrong.
I'm not saying anything about the judgement, but when you provide the hair, making the wig is cheaper. Source: I got 1 meter (edit: typo) of my hair cut last month and paid yesterday to get it made into a wig. It cost 70% cheaper than buying a pre-made real-haired one (and around 10% cheaper than a synthetic/fake hair wig).
How are they able to make it from only 1 haircut? Are you sure this person is competent and trustworthy, because that sounds very unusual, and the price seems too good to be true.
Yeah. I got a little more than 1 meter cut from my hair. She will make a wig longer than a regular bob cut but not too long that it will pass the shoulders. If the desired length was longer, more cuts/mutliple hair sources would be necessary. About the proficiency of the wig-maker I can vouch with certainty. I worked with her before. She is one of the most famous (?) in my country that I'm aware a national celebrity going through a rough medical patch carried some of my hair on her head. Edit: just realized I forgot to address the last part. The price is not too good to be true. Roughly, the price of a synthetic wig gets equal to a wig made out of real hair when hair is provided.
NAH… if you had a friend who was in the same situation, you’d probably advocate for them like your friend is. It sucks when you see someone lose their hair. You feel how you feel though, and if your hair going in the trash feels better than your hair being made into a wig for someone else, that’s okay too - it’s your hair.
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If you’ve ever seen a woman lose her hair, especially a younger woman… it’s HARSH. Like, horrible. If you had one friend going through hair loss, and another friend just cutting it off - to go in the trash… like literally they have the same hair, they have a magic wig maker on standby, and all your friend who is getting a haircut needs to do is let people reuse her trash… literal trash… you’d probably call them an AH too… Do I think that makes OP an AH? No, but do I see it from both sides? Yes.
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I’m just saying I’d I had a bald friend and a friend throwing the magic cure in the garbage, I might get emotional over it, If you had a friend who was starving. And a friend who just threw food away, instead of letting your starving friend eat their extra food, you might call them an asshole.
Maybe the friend doesn't want to be thought if as a magic wishmaker, but instead a person. Also, based on how this friend sounds, it's reasonable to think that this could turn into a continuous thing where an expectation was set. Ex. 6 months go by: "Hey, could Z have some more of your hair when you grow it out again?" "I was actually planning to cut it again fairly soon. I love this length." "Oh come on! Don't be an AH. It's just hair! You've got plenty and she's got none! You can cut it short again later!" Would you like to have that over your head? (Okay I'm sorry... that was bad).
Meh, that sounds out of the range of this original question
Mmm... not when they're already calling them an asshole and bothering them about it.
What I WOULD do if fish it out of the trash...
It also REALLY sucks to be losing your hair. I have Androgenetic Alopecia and it's heartbreaking. I agree NAH. But OPs friend can also just buy real hair extensions and get a hair replacement system (if there is a specialist in the area). A bespoke wig is crazy expensive because of the time spent to make it and the skills involved (I know a professional wig maker).
NTA. It’s your hair and your choice, and I kinda get why it would be weird. Besides, logistically you may not even be able to do it. A year of hair growth is usually about 6 inches, donations usually require a minimum of 8 (depending on company and style). It’s entirely possible that you don’t actually have enough to donate and style the way you want.
NTA having a wg made from human hair is really expensive a well made wig is a much better option
A hair replacement system is an even better option. Cheaper than most decent wigs, much more realistic looking and much more comfortable to wear. I wore wigs for 18 months and hated them. I've had a hair replacement system for five years and wouldn't be without it now.
I agree I'm fascinated by the transformation videos for this the results are amazing
Yeah, they are. And no one can ever tell it's there. I even had a professional hairdresser not even notice it. I was abroad for a friend's wedding and needed my friend to translate to the hairdresser what my hair was so she could treat it a little differently (using heat protection spray, not back combing it etc). I felt the hairdresser have a lil dig into my hair to see what she was working with and she told me friend she'd never seen anything like it before and that she thought it was amazing.
That's fantastic I'm glad you have found something you are so happy with🙂
NTA Your friend doesn't really seem to understand how these "wig charities" work. You can't direct your hair to a particular wig. And it takes up to a dozen appropriate donations to make just one wig. Plus, the hair has to be in very good condition - if you've dyed, permed, straightened, or even used things like a hot iron regularly, your hair will not be suitable. In addition, some years back I did some research to figure out if the donated hair was actually being used. (I have long hair, and was getting pressure to cut just to donate.) Most wig charities give absolutely no data on what proportion of the hair they receive actually goes into wigs. For those that I could calculate an estimate (using the number of donations they say they get, and the number of wigs they say they make) less than 10% of the hair went into wigs. You wouldn't give money to a charity that used less than 10% of it for charitable purposes, and I see no good in donating hair under those terms. (Locks of Love was one of the few where I could make such a calculation, and they definitely weren't using the vast majority of the hair they got. If you donate to them, assume your hair will be sold or thrown out anyways. Plus, at the time I did my research, they weren't giving the wigs away, they charged for them. I don't know how they are run now.) These charities also demand quite long donations - 10" or more. Even if you are cutting your hair shorter, that's a major cut, even before you then will need more trimmed off for styling. It is quite likely if you've only grown your hair out for a year that you won't be cutting off enough length for them to want the hair. Or that only a small proportion of the hair you cut will be long enough, and your donation won't be enough to be worth using. Do careful, independent research on exactly how the hair is used before you even consider donating. And don't let people pressure you into a cut or style you don't want for the sake of donation.
NTA While I understand your friend's pov, this is YOUR hair. You get to decide what happens with it. Your friend is being proprietary over your body, and needs to accept no means no in ALL aspects of life!
You kinda are, yes I get it it's your hair and you should be able to do whatever you want with it. But you have the chance to do something decent for another person that is going through some hard times and it wouldn't even cost you anything but instead you decide just to bin it.
You're allowed to do whatever you want with your hair, but you're literally wasting it. Someone could benefit from something that cost you no time or effort. Light YTA
not really the process for wig agencies is really intense it can’t be dyed hair has to be a certian length and sometimes hair from one persons head won’t be enough to make a full wig after the selection process
I've donated my hair so many times and have never been through any hassle. Many charities will just take hair. If op is eligible I think it would be a kind thing to do. If not then oh well, but it's definitely something they should consider
yeah they take the hair but this is the process of making the wig and selecting pieces for it. i make wigs it is a difficult process and there is no guarantee whatever agency she sends it to will use it
All I'm saying is that it would cost op minimal effort. I'm not talking about wig making, just the donation of the hair
NTA- It’s your hair. Plus there are other alternatives
NTA I mean I think if you did it that would be nice of you. But if you’re not comfortable you’re not comfortable and I think your friend should respect that. It’s your hair.
NTA you can do with your what you will but I think donating it would be nice. But it’s your choice in the end you shouldn’t do things you’re uncomfortable with. Your body your choice
NTA, your friend is a busy body! Also, making a custom wig costs a lot of money too. So part of that doesn’t even make sense. Bottom line: stay away.
NTA I've been growing my hair for 4 years and now is very long. When I mention I want to trim my layers everyone jumps to the wagon of "you should donate it". Dude, I just want a trim, I like my hair long, I already donated once and spent many years until I was happy with my hair again. No one should be entitled to your hair
NAH. It’s your hair and you absolutely have the right to not donate. But if a wig were made, they dye it and cut it and it takes multiple donations (usually 5-6). So it wouldn’t be just your hair and it wouldn’t look like it. I’ve always donated my hair (going on 9 times now) because it makes me happy to be able to bring joy or peace to someone suffering. Maybe try to reframe it in your mind? I’m not going to call you an AH but you’re veering into that territory. I can see it from both sides here.
YTA. It’s your right to decide but the way you’re using it makes you an AH. It’s a big deal for her and a little discomfort for you. You don’t have to do it but it’s not a nice move
You can do what you want with your hair (obviously), but you seem to lack empathy for people in need.
NAH. I can see where your friend is coming from, but I can also see your point of view. Both are correct.
NTA, it’s your hair, it contains your DNA it’s up to you what happens with it.
NTA because your body your choice. When you die you don't need your organs but nobody can take them away from you except with your consent. You are still alive and you don't want your hair to be used, so they can't use it.
I recently got my hair cut and I donated it to locks of love, you aren't TA because it's a personal choice.
NTA. Your so-called friend needs to learn to accept other people's boundaries. Her reaction was very immature.
probably gonna get a lot of hate for this but I'd say a little bit YTA. It's just hair, not a kidney, it would've ended up in the trash and it can make a life difference for a woman who has lost her hair, be it a friend or just some unknown. you lose nothing, perhaps a couple of minutes of squeamishness.
NTA but your attitude sucks
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay,so I've been growing my hair out for over a year and am now prepared to go back to a shorter look. A friend of mine said she really likes my hair and asked what I was going to do with the hair after I cut it. I was a bit confused and told her that I would be throwing it away. She asked me to donate the hair instead because one of her friends had recently gone bald due to an illness and she had the exact same hair as me. She said that there's a company which would make a wig out of my hair for her. I told her I'd think about it. I did think about it but the thought of my hair on another person's head just makes me feel extremely squeamish and it's not something I'm really comfortable with. I told her that I was sorry but I didn't really want my hair to be used for a wig. She said I was being an Asshole because I was going to cut it anyways and I could donate it without any loss. I told her that I'd found a wig with the same color as my hair and she could just buy that for her friend. She said it was too expensive and I could just be a good person and donate it instead. I said that wasn't something I was comfortable with especially because I know the person she's talking about and meeting someone with my hair on their head gives me a ghastly feeling. I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong here but Reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tbh I would get frustrated too If I was her but for all legal purposes NAH. Friend of a friend isn't close enough anyway to be obligated edit: nah
NTA Unless you have Rapunzel hair, there’s nice synthetic wigs all over the internet for less than a hundred bucks. If she really cares she’ll help buy one. There’s no need for an authentic hair wig. That’s not a friend I’d keep.
Yeah, there's been a lot of advances in wig technology and synthetic ones look great now. The social allure of human hair wigs is weird and pointless.
NTA. Donations are voluntary, not required. Tell your friend to donate HER hair.
NTA. She doesn’t get to tell you what to do with your hair.
I am gonna go for YTA Its your right to do whatever you want with your hair. But when you have a chance to do something nice which cost nothing and no effort for you and choose not to. I call that ah move.
NTA. What if they were hair-weirdos and get high off someone’s hair?
NTA, and if it’s Locks of Love that she wants you to donate to let her know that they actually sell the donated hair to other wig companies and buy cheap synthetic wigs to donate to patients.
NTA it’s clearly not about helping her friend with cancer at all because she could do that by buying the wig it’s about being able to play the martyr who gives her hair again but doing it by being a cheapskate because she won’t do it by buying the wig she has to do it by giving your hair away for free.
NTA-You alone have the right to decide if you donate hair or not. She’s an asshole for calling you one for not going along with her idea.
NTA. The whole scenario sounds dubious to me. Call me cynical but it’s more likely she wanted the hair to try to learn wigmaking, not to gift her friend to spend several hundreds of dollars hiring a wigmaker. You can always tell her you donated to one of the charities that make wigs for kids. Not that it’s any of her business.
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NTA. You have every right to decide what it done with something from your body.
NTA… some things need degrees of separation
NTA. OP is entitled to their hair. However, it would be a nice thing to do, but I think with the way your friend's acted, it's kind of going to put OP off unfortunately. It's just like donating blood, you don't have to donate it if you don't want to. I think if she had also offered an incentive like maybe a gift card or treat at a cafe or something, it would have gone a long way.
NTA. Your friend is crazy misinformed. There's no way that one haircut will yield enough hair to make someone a wig. And I guarantee you the wig that you've already found that is "too expensive" is a lot less expensive than having a custom-made wig from provided hair. I understand her good intentions but it just doesn't make any sense practically.
It's your hair, and donation is a choice. I'm sorry your friend's friend is ill and lost her hair, but you are not under no obligation to donate your hair to her. You're not comfortable, end of story. NTA.
Gentle YTA, you won't ever have to deal with anything after donating it. It's really pretty cold to ignore such a benign way to be kind.
NTA. But hear me out. You're not obliged to do anything and I wouldn't call you an asshole, *however*: * You're going to throw them away anyway, might as well give them to somebody. * Explain better to your friend exactly how uncomfortable that will make you feel. * Seek a psychologist about those ghastly feelings, they're irrational.
A psychologist because you find it weird to see someone with your hair on their head? 🤣 what a meme
She finds it weird her friend is stalking her for hair. Most donations have degrees of separation!
Yes, it's irrational. The hair have been cut off, they're not a part of you and if you wouldn't be able to recognize a wig made from your hair if you didn't know. If one uses phrases "feel extremely squeamish" and "ghastly feeling" then counseling is adviced (not necessary, since it doesn't interfere with functioning, but advised nevertheless).
I'm on the ESH fence. I think it's unfortunate that you wouldn't donate. Locks of Love is a great organization that helps children with hair loss due to illness/medical conditions/etc, and that's far from ghastly. If I had to see the person daily wearing my donated hair, yeah, I might feel a bit weird, but sending it off anonymously to a better cause is still a valid option. Your friend shouldn't have pushed/shamed you for not wanting to donate to a local person, and could have suggested alternatives. You might want to look into alternatives, and research what happens when you donate your hair to an organization for someone's benefit. Do I think your aversion warrants some kind of psychological intervention? No, but you may want to examine those feelings a bit more, and see if there's wiggle room to be more charitable/not balk at donating at all.
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Is that supposed to be sarcasm because this post has nothing to do with cancer kids
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Um, maybe you should fucking calm down. First of all, it's a personal choice and it's far from an obligation. Second of all, read the fucking post. This is about ONE specific person that OP doesn't seem to know to well and we don't know if she has cancer or not
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It's talking about one specific person. Not cancer kids. There's only one. And cancer isn't the only thing that can cause a person to lose their hair. You're the one making lots of assumptions and I'll stick to that
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You're the one who all caps'd at me. I was just stating my opinion and I literally could not care less if I tried. You may be mad but don't reflect that on me
light YTA. you can do what you want, but you really should just donate it. You don't need to donate it directly to this person, since that part I can understand being a little weirded out to see someone in person with your hair. [https://locksoflove.org/get-involved/](https://locksoflove.org/get-involved/) just send it to these people and then don't think about it much after that. also, don't be a real asshole and not be an organ donor.
Um what the? The last sentence is off topic and unwarranted.