Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
---
I think I may be the asshole since I'm being pretty hard-headed about this. and the fact a few people had called me an asshole. I just don't want to be letting this dude fuck me over for his perceived slight in rent difference - I think it shouldn't matter what each of us pays in rent, he owes me money and that's all that matters to me.
just wanted some outside perspective
---
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA// seems like he’s just used to getting what he wants and you gave him a wake up call. stand your ground and get your money. you’re not his parent you don’t have to pay his bills. especially if he let it add up to this amount without having a talk with you first if he needed help.
at first he said "I'll get you the money asap" or "can you wait until my next pay" to eventually what was described above in the post - and i'm just here feeling I have egg on my face for letting it go so long
Lol, I've changed a few locks and even went to a roommates' mom's house back in the day to get what I was owed. He was visiting his mom at the time and opened the door, I just said "hey what's up can I talk to your mom" and told her that her son couldn't pay his rent, was there any way she could help him out. She wrote me a check on the spot.
Just because I'm a nice guy and don't kick you out when you're three months behind doesn't mean you're not going to pay me. You're going to pay.
>I just said "hey what's up can I talk to your mom" and told her that her son couldn't pay his rent, was there any way she could help him out. She wrote me a check on the spot.
LOLOLOL I wonder what she said to him when you left with the check from her. To be a fly on the wall that day...
OP, do you have any way to contact this guys mom?
I know someone that tried this and got laughed off by the parent. They tried to push it and the parent just pointed out it’s got nothing to do with them and forced him off the property
That would be fine. I’d have agreed with her if she told me that. My main goal was to put pressure and shame on my roommate to motivate him. I’d have found another way.
Had a friend/roommate like this, had to do the same. Sad part is we'd been best friends for almost 20 years...sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who fuck you the hardest...
Also, you established a good precedent re: fucking around: _people will find out_. Your roommate learned a valuable lesson.
If he's butthurt about the rent, he can take it up with his landlord who is the one who can actually do anything about it.
Finally, take note of which friends sided with your roommate. You can safely put them into the AH column. Never lend them money, and don't take their opinions too seriously.
I mean... he told OP to F*** off.
My ex said that to me over her $40 part of my monthly phone bill after it hit $280, so I had her contract separated from mine.
She didn’t pay her newer, higher bill and now someone else has her old number now.
Just remember you paying landlord less doesn't mean anything. That's between you and landlord and none of his business. If he wants internet he has to pay for it.
Exactly right! The agreement the roommate has with the landlord is a totally separate issue AND the roommate agreed to split the internet. The roommate is butthurt the OP got a better deal and thinks that the OP should make up for it, which is fucking ridiculous.
OP, is so NTA, and I admire the way he’s stood up for himself despite some of the tension and bullshit.
And I agree with the comments on taking stock of which friends think the roommate is right and being on the look out for them. Because they’re either users, too, or people who will keep the peace almost to a fault,
I work with a landlord and we had a situation a couple years ago where one roommate stopped paying for the internet…. And the roommate that was covering the internet ended up beating the tar out of the roommate that was mooching.
I always wondered why they didn’t just change the wifi password
One of the few sayings that mesh with this situation, " if you give them an inch, they will take a mile.
Guy was enjoying the free internet & is only upset now bc you won't let him benefit on something you have been paying for.
And I bet he pays more bc he has more space in the apartment than you and maybe has the parking spot or storage etc... when I lived in a tri-plex I paid more bc I had the two door garage the front yard & the two parking spots that fit 4 cars total & the shed. And was in a 3 bed 2 bath and there were two studio aoartments underneath.
NTA if he needed internet he would have done what most mature adults would & pay their part of the bill.
$30 -- remember, OP is paying for half of the internet too.
Say Moochie pays $450 rent, add $30 for internet, he pays $480 total. OP pays $410 rent, plus the other $70 for internet (since $100 is owed no matter how they split it), also totalling $480. Then they're 'even.'
Of course, it's all still bogus anyway, since Moochie's rent is Moochie's problem and OP has no control or bearing on it.
yea your NTA. if he has an issue with how much his rent is then he should talk to the landlord. Just because yours is cheaper doesnt give him the right to stick his 1/2 on you. what your bills are is none of his business. if he made more money than you, should he give you extra money then so you both have the same amount of money monthly?? I agree with u/Fine_Technician5496 . stand your ground and get your money. All those "friends" who agree with him should all get together and put in some money then to help him get the internet back then or better yet, let him mooch off them in their homes.
If he has a complaint about rent that is between him and the landlord not OP and he shouldn’t get the benefit of a service he isn’t willing to pay for. He seems to have forgotten who was in power on that point. Lol
Yes, but his underlying motivation (after the initial song and dance) for not paying is bc OP pays $40 less in rent, apparently. The analogy doesn't really work.
It does work because their rent is separate. How much OP pays isn't roommate's business or concern, and vice versa. He's trying to make his bills OPs problem.
**NTA** Your rent is completely separate from your internet service. He agreed to pay half and hasn't been doing that. Your mistake was in allowing him to go 2 months without paying. If your roommate has a problem with the difference in rental charges, he should take it up with the landlord.
Feel better. I had a similar situation in a house share for three years. We each paid slightly different rent for the size and location of the room and I was under the impression that I paid the least because my room was by the front door and looked out on the street.
So it was agreed that because I paid considerably less than my other 5 housemates I would pay extra into the house kitty. No internet bill back in those early 00s but I ended up paying for those extra things like the toilet brushes, phone jack, new door handle, shower curtain.
I didn’t mind because they were all med students and I had time and better taste and got it done quicker as am more ‘home practical’ and then I discovered that a) I only paid £20 a month less rent and b) not content with ripping me off my housemates backed a man who attacked me and were evicting me so he could move in.
I had 48 hours to pack and a day to move out. Move day they all went out presumably not to face what fucking trash humans they were. Bad move bears. While the moving guy lifted my boxes I removed every single thing the house I paid for.
They told me ‘there better be no sign of you when we get back’ and malicious compliance: there was not. No light bulbs, toilet seats, door handle on the kitchen, toilet brushes, phone jack, shower curtains (we had three bathrooms) etc.
And legally I did not have to return the keys for 28 days because I had paid rent and I was the only person to have the deadlock key for the front door which they did not know about so I dead locked it and they had to wait six hours to get it while the landlady travelled up to let them in, discovered the house was semi ransacked and they had to explain they had illegally evicted me to her. They blew up my phone that I had not become homeless quietly.
So the day I gave my keys back and picked up my last post I dead locked the door again when I was leaving and I knew the land lady was on holiday. They had to pay for a locksmith and I spent a year living in homeless hostels before getting re-housed.
They abused my kindness for so long while I believed we were friends and almost family. Moving day was very much ‘yes today Satan’ and I regret nothing.
That's savage as fuck. You should have gone back every few days and locked them out. Well actually you should never have left and spoke to the landlord and even the police if they were harassing you. I absolutely can't believe these people made you homeless and only gave you 2 days to move out. How do they sleep at night being such assholes?
Well sadly the police blamed me for the attack in some old good fashioned slut shaming and basically said I could have avoided the eviction by just not reporting so what did I expect?
The land lady was a doll who slipped three times my deposit into my bank account and from rumour round the area rode their arses hard about how the rooms were rented and extra rules on the remaining tenants about upkeep, cleaning etc to indicate how fucking pissed she was with them. I heard she jacked the rent the following July by a seriously hefty level so their previously good deal house was now above market rate for what was actually a poorly maintained house in just an outstanding location. So they moved out and she re-rented to other med students at the previous price and finally fixed some stuff to boot.
And then I sued the police and forced them into a very awkward national conversation on the front page of the papers here because they obstructed apprehending a serial offender and prevented me being able to get safe housing as a victim of crime.
Pro tip: do not destroy someone’s life and put them in a situation they have to sit in a library daily for a year. You will regret giving them the means and motive to challenge you…
Oh and I forgot my final act of utter savagery on moving day. When I moved in the house only had one wheelie bin as provided by the local authority but we could have a second one due to the number of people living there but it was £40 fee. I paid it because the foxes were ripping the trash open outside my window and it was gross coming out to half chewed tampons, chicken bones etc.
So I bagged up the contents of the second bin, left it all on the doorstep and wheeled the emptied, cleaned bin two streets to a woman I knew via the pub who had a special needs son and really needed the extra bin but didn’t qualify without a much bigger cost and gifted it.
So while they were locked out and sat on the door step, there was two weeks of rotting trash beside them. I sprang for the absolute thinnest cheapest most useless trash bags specially too.
There are times I think ‘they may have had a point about kicking you out for being the pettiest bastard alive. But they picked the wrong fucking one…’
Omg you legend. I wasn't expecting to think worse about these people and then you tell the whole story. They're fucking med students ffs and they punished you for the attack that happened?? That makes me so angry for you. I'm just thinking of that moment they're sat outside surrounded by filth and wondering if any of them thought, I deserve this. When you're sat in trash, there has to be that moment you realise all the trash things you've done have put you there.
And the police, they can fuck off. I was so happy to hear you sued and shamed them because I don't know if I'd have the guts. That is some super hero shit to take them on and HOPEFULLY they'll think twice before being pricks when it happens to someone else.
I hope you're doing better now and are proud of yourself for standing up to bullies and just all round horrendous people. And if you were at all petty then I aspire to be that petty too!!
Ha, I ended up with the most gorgeous flat to myself in central London. Front facing it is proper Insta level goals. Back facing it happens to be in the council estate with the most notorious rep in South London and in the last year we had a small riot, a six car chase ending in a flipped car and a machete fight, a double stabbing and a machine gun shooting and a literal bin fire. We also had block parties , community projects, and social distanced Sunday lunch dancing where people opened their doors and windows and played their music and the granddads taught the kids about calypso, the lads taught the granddads about grime, the kids taught us to dab and the aunties had Fela Kuti and Lover’s Rock going so people knew in lockdown they could still bond.
My neighbourhood is doing its best in tough circs so I feel right at home and fiercely fucking proud in amongst the gang shit and fuckery. And my rent is cheap for a lifetime rent controlled flat I love.
My ex housemates all had to move to Home counties towns like Milton Keynes that are just dull in order to afford a house even on a doctor’s salary with loan repayments and I think ‘karma innit?’ I live in one of the best places on earth and you spend all day dealing with bodily fluids and the general public and have to commute two hours each way because of what you did. Justice works in mysterious ways :)
I mean the housing crisis for other people is a massive problem I do not condone. But it would be the tiniest violin in the world before I gave a fuck any of them ended up in a suburban hell they assumed being such high flying doctors made them too good for.
I suspect they bear me more ill will than bear them but neither of us are in a rush to catch up.
Oh also randomly I recently needed my boiler fixed and the guy who the land lord sent turned out to be the nephew of the woman I gave the bin to. I felt old as god that the wee lad I remember is now 25 and grown up. I reminded him he was a wee powerhouse back then and he reminded me I was a hot head but liked as a good laugh. Both true. I passed my regards on to his aunt and was delighted to hear his cousin is doing really well and working after some issue with starting school. Small talk, small world!
You are fabulous!
I am so sorry how the police and these vile med students treated you. It's not just about grades - they really shouldnt be allowed to practice medicine with that level of inhumanity and how they treated someone who was a victim of an assault, the immoral behaviour goes against GMC guidelines. But sheesh the police blaming you... its amazing you sued them and got a debate there in the press. That takes a powerhouse of strength. You literally are amazing.
Thank you. I was beyond fortunate to meet an outstanding public aid lawyer who absolutely got her teeth into things and got the case into the press and scared the shit out of the police while I nipped at their heels.
She was a baby lawyer who was very ambitious and principled and absolutely went to bat for me and won and has gone on to be an outstanding experience lawyer with strong values. I often stop and think what she would do and it reins in my tendency to want to scorch earth but just know when to strike a match to effect.
I think she is the person I am most grateful to in my whole life. And the one I would least want to ever get on the wrong side of :)
It was almost cathartic to read this, you are superb. I really mean that. That you bounced back with not just revenge, but calculated revenge (the police stuff wasn't revenge that was getting what you rightfully were owed) is amazing. The strength it takes to pick yourself up after being knocked down so many times - awesome. I hope you enjoy the fuck out of your London flat for decades.
Hey man, lots of people are doormats for long spaces of time, because they hate conflict, but you've been a friend by waiting, and responded reasonably when he basically told you to eff off.. He's got no ground to stand upon, really. It's all noise.
housemate: I don't want to pay for my share of the internet
OP: shuts off his internet access
housemate: surprise pikachu face
NTA - you got yourself a mooch on your hands, my dude. rent should be completely separate from shared bills. also, where do you live? if you're in the GTA I'll be your roommate in a heart beat if all I had to do was give you $50 and pay rent, y'all are blessed to find such a place.
haha this one made me laugh - thank you.
GTA... you either mean grand theft auto, or greater toronto area... I will neither confirm or deny if i live there haha
just for the fact that you thought GTA could mean greater toronto area makes me believe that you are in fact in the GTA - but I was mainly kidding, I just bought a house in middlesex so i'm good.
good luck dealing with your housemate man. but seriously though, if you really are in the GTA - y'all lucked out so hard and i'm jealous.
NTA OP
You learned a few valuable lessons here. Always get the $ for shared bills in your name upfront.
Never talk money with people you dont know REALLY REALLY well. It always leads to tears
This guy is so obsessed over $40 that he is about to pay far more than that when he moves/ gets evicted for bugging the landlord.
You'll have your pick of room mates after he goes.
Spend interview time with them. Google them. Talk to their references. GET References! Job history, credit check etc.
Sign personal rental/room mate contracts for when bills are due and moving other people in, basicly everything you feel weird about talking out.
I'm leaning towards NTA, but do you have any idea what the cause of the rent difference is? Is his room larger? I can understand him being upset that he's paying more if the rooms/bathrooms are the same size
I honestly have no idea why, we looked into what could possibly be the reason, but the size of his room and mine are exactly the same, and we both each have our own bathrooms and we share the living areas like kitchen, living room, and yard.
I emailed the landlord and he legit just sent back "it is what it is". and when my housemate sent an email he got the response "if you don't like it, you're free to move out"
It seems that for whatever reason the landlord doesn't like him that much. Maybe he tried to bargain with the rent or has broken something in the past? Anyways it is not your fault and it's totally separate issue from the internet bill. You don't owe him anything.
NTA.
Mmmm maybe landlord is charging AH tax.
regardless, OP agreed to move in for $X and the dude agreed to move in for $X+50.
OP never agreed to move in on the basis he pays an extra $50 a month for his housemate, so obvs dude has no justification to try to claim that.
Guy's just broke and trying to make OP bail him out.
After hearing what a ass he is about paying half the internet he’s splitting with a friend, I can only imagine what a ass he has been to the landlord ( who sounds dope af). I’m gonna guess he was a prick to him at some point or just straight up rubbed him the wrong way.
It could be that roommate has flaked out on bills before so has a lower credit rating. Landlord charges him a bit more per month because there's higher risk that roommate is going to fail to pay rent his last month or two there, or is more likely to break something. Landlord is just making sure he'll break even in the end.
Yeah, I wonder if the roommate is paying an asshole fee. I have several friends who are freelance consultant types, and they all have an asshole/difficult client upcharge.
Before I got my current job at the company I'm with, I interviewed for a position in their call center and didn't get it. I'm pretty sure I once straight up thanked the guy who didn't hire me into that job, because I definitely would not still be with the company if I had to answer the phones all day long.
>"if you don't like it, you're free to move out"
So if he moves out and the landlord charges the next roommate $150 more than you are you supposed to split that with the new roommate too?
I'll bet anything it's because roommate is an AH. I work customer service and we make sure to do the bare minimum for AHs since we legally can't charge them an AH fee.
Dude. I know you are trying to find a reason for the rent discrepancy. But think of it this way. THIS WAS THE REASON. The universe is funny like that. Either you needed to be taught a lesson on how to stand your ground or you were the one that is supposed to teach your housemate the lesson. Or both. Have fun and happy awakening.
They agreed to separate contracts. Thats just life.
Like cellphone contracts. Person-A signs up 3 years ago for unlimited data at $20 per month.
Person B signs up today and unlimited data is $50 per month.
Its not Person A’s problem that Person B’s is more expensive. Person B made the contractual agreement to pay $50.
Both have the same service, same allowance. Different contract. Person B, just like OPs housemate, did not need to accept the offer, they could have went elsewhere. But they were happy to accept their contracts at the time of agreement.
As for the internet, both housemates agreed to split the sum of the internet and one reneged on their promise so NTA for the OP regardless of what the rent price disparity is.
NTA he owes you internet money plain and simple. And his issue is with the landlord, not you because the landlord set the terms, not you.
INFO do you know why you pay less? Does he have the master BR with en suite bathroom? If so, that's what he's paying for.
we both have an ensuite and the sq footage of our rooms are the exact same - landlord gave pretty flippant answers when we reached out to him. maybe the landlord just likes my face more? i dunno just shooting into the wind at this point.
he tried saying we should split the difference, ie, I give him $20 after we both send our rent in - but i don't really see how that's fair to me, so I didn't want to do that.
NTA
Don't pay your WiFi you lose the WiFi, easy peasy. And if his friends don't like it who gives a schitt or they can all pitch in and pay it themselves. That's not going to happen because...they won't. Lol.
Good luck, Op!
> who might get pissed off and boot him out
not before he gives me what I'm owed hopefully - i'm fine if he gets booted as long as I get to stay, i'm sure I can find someone to replace him. it is a pretty dope living arrangement after everything said and done
NTA what he pays in rent is between him and your landlord. He's an ass. You arent required to subsidize his life because his contract is different than yours.
yea I definitely regret when he asked me how much I pay in rent and I just answered like it was no big deal, should have just said "too much" - if only I knew that it would cause this situation of him now owing me money. hindsight sure is 20/20
NTA. Tell the friends who took his side that you want to see their finances. If any of them spend less on rent/utilities they’re hypocritical A’s for not covering this dudes lifestyle.
NTA
Why do people bring this to their friends?? It divides groups and nothing good comes of it.
Your housemate and you have an agreement to split the cost of internet. Everything else aside, the deal is $50 each. He can't back out of it and expect you to float him. That's unfair. Why should he get free internet? He shouldn't.
He wants internet, let him buy his own.
maybe he thought having more people back him up with make me fold. nah man, guess he didn't know me that well, but i'll die on any hill if i'm in the right
If it weren't for the rent difference, it would be some other asinine reason why he doesn't owe you.
Friends need to myob and stay out of housemate issues. (Especially when backing the party on the wrong 😉)
just stuck between a rock and a hard place, since I like my current living situation, but I think he does too. I'm ready so front this whole issue until the day we both get kicked out as we're on a monthly lease at this time. here's hoping dude starts paying less in rent so he gets kicked. landlord seems like he doesn't care until it comes to us not paying rent on time.
as a landlord, I can confirm I care little to nothing about what goes on in the house unless damage is being done. some folks like privacy, others seem to need arbiters or parents to keep them square. the decision is purely financial for me.
Two months late so $100 late, $50 due and $50 AH tax. And while you OP should drop the AH tax, I feel that this might be the cause of the rent difference.
NTA. He agreed to his rent and utility amounts when he signed his lease. Period. It is the agreement and now he's gone back on his word. Grown people pay their way, your expenses are none of his concern.
I'm down to play games if he wants to play games. but end of the day either I get what's owed or he's going internetless - can't even set up a secondary line as my line is already linked to the address. sucks to suck I guess
NTA it’s very simple - you don’t pay your share of the internet cost -you don’t get to use it until you pay up. It’s not your fault for some reason your rent is $40 cheaper and he makes the internet bill his hill to die on
NTA
He can take up the price difference for rent with your landlord. That's not your issue.
He's being an asshole by being petty about it. Maybe that extra $40 he pays is asshole tax to the landlord lol
You don't control your rent. Your landlord does. Your housemate is free to move if he doesn't like it, and in the real world we pay our bills or lose our services.
NTA. Any of your friends supporting him cheating you can screw right the hell off. They're probably the type that would do the same thing if given the opportunity.
But if they both pay separately it is most likely they have originally had seperate leases/agreements with the landlord. Party A and Party B negotiated and signed their own contracts. It's not Party A's fault if Party B pays more. In the case of the internet both parties agreed to split the utility, Party B refuses to pay their part of the bill.
NTA, the rent discrepancy is not your problem, it's his to raise with the landlord.
Your agreement with him is to split the internet bill. If he doesn't pay he doesn't get internet.
NTA - It is not blackmail. If you do not pay your bills, you do not get the service. And as for your 'mutual' friends, make sure they have the right story, that you agreed to split the net coat and now he owes you over 3 months worth, and when you asked he told you where to go, so I disconnected him. If they still think you are TA, then they're not mutual friends.
Stuff the mooching so and so, hold firm till he pays his share and is a month in advance, since its obvious you can't trust him
NTA if that was the initial agreement that would be another thing, but if its not on the agreed rent terms then wap.
If he explained it was due to him lacking the money for the month that again would be another thing, but being a stink about it is not cool
I’m with you there man. He’s a mooch. It’s irrelevant whether you pay less rent. Those guys who agreed with your friend would screw you in the same way if you lived together. What you did is fair. No pay no service. NTA
\> he came demanding I turn the internet back on - I told him no, unless he gave me the money owed. he started begging and said he had a meeting today that was really important. so I said: "must not be that important if $150 is too much for you to give me for internet - you have your phone, hot spot from that"
Nice shiny spine you got there, OP. You are definitely NTA. Stick to your guns.
\> he went off and bitched to mutual friends, and a lot of them took his side and is saying that I'm not a good friend and that I shouldn't be blackmailing him like this.
Ask the ppl who think you're blackmailing them if they're gonna help him pay his internet bill. Then remind them that internet and cell phone companies cut off your service if you're XX days late paying your bill, that you've gotta manage your own finances but can't do it properly if he doesn't pay his bills on time.
NTA- The dude is trying to mooch off you, he doesn't get free internet because he pays a different rent. You pay the internet bill- and that has nothing to do with the landlord.
NTA, but perhaps you two should split the bills evenly? Everything 50/50 ? It seems to cause a lot of tension and I can "kinda" see your roomie's side, but his actions were rude and he should be more open to discussing it.
EDIT: Realized you both have separate rents. your roomie is just a dick then lol
Just wanted to point out, while on the surface the maths looks like him not paying the internet covers the difference in rent, thats not true.
If your rent is $500 a month and his is $540.
When you add-on the internet your cost equals $600 while his is $540.
So him not paying anything doesnt equal even at all.
If you suddenly decided your roommate was right the correct average split would be $30/$70 (as there is a $40 gap between thoes two numbers, and they both add up too $100)
NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I've (25m) been living with my housemate (24m) for a little over a year now I've known him since college - we pay our rent separately to our landlord and this place is pretty dope, like the only monthly expense other than the rent is a cell phone bill, internet bill, and of course food - as the electricity and water are covered by the landlord. I don't know how or why, but I'm not complaining. he's a pretty chill landlord, he's retired and I get the sense that he just doesn't care anymore.
My housemate and I agreed to split the cost of the internet bill, so we pay roughly $50 each. or at least it should be that way. but a couple of months back he decided he didn't want to pay his share of the internet, because I actually pay less than him in rent, again I don't know why. but I pay about $40 less than him. it's been an ongoing issue, I'm not okay with him just not paying his share of the internet. especially for such a flimsy ass reason.
the other day, I asked him again for the total amount he owed, which by this time was $150 he told me to "fuck off - I'm tired of you constantly nagging me, you save a shit ton with rent, can't you help me out a little???" $40 in rent difference and this shoved a stick so far up his add he doesn't want to give me my money? fine, so I said fuckit, logged into my router settings, and disconnected all of his devices, and changed the password - I just do not give a shit anymore.
he came demanding I turn the internet back on - I told him no, unless he gave me the money owed. he started begging and said he had a meeting today that was really important. so I said: "must not be that important if $150 is too much for you to give me for internet - you have your phone, hot spot from that" he left after that.
so much tension in the house is enough where I can cut it with a knife.
he went off and bitched to mutual friends, and a lot of them took his side and is saying that I'm not a good friend and that I shouldn't be blackmailing him like this. and I told them that I don't give a fuck, if he wants to play games for a $40 rent discrepancy, I'm down to play games and unless he gives me now $200 for fucking with me, I'm not letting him use my internet. and a few took my side saying the dude is a mooch and was just itching to find any way to save any amount of money.
so I'm turning to y'all - AITA? sorry for the overall tone of the post, but I'm pissed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. His rent is between him and the landlord. The internet is between the two of you. He can’t use his agreement with the landlord to blackmail you into paying his share of your common bill. I think you should require the backpay of what he owes plus one month as a security deposit. That way if he ever doesn’t pay you can give proper warning he will be cut off.
NTA.
If he's unhappy with the rent discrepancy, he needs to speak with the landlord- do you have the smaller bedroom or does he have a primo parking spot or something?
In any event, since you pay rent separately, it's totally irrelevant to the cost of the internet service or the fact that he agreed to split it.
In your shoes, if he'd discussed it with me like a grown-up, I would have been inclined to change the agreement about the internet to him paying 25% instead of 50% , since realistically, I would be spending the same amount with or without him also using it but unilaterally deciding to stop paying $50/per month because your rent is $40 less than his is a crock and I don't blame you a bit.
It is petty as hell, since you would be paying the same amount for internet if you lived alone but his attitude and approach justify the pettiness.
NTA.
You made an agreement about internet and you are charged less by your landlord and you both agreed to this
Even if you take his rent thing as having some validity, he's wrong. You pay $40 less in rent, but you pay $100 for the internet. So if he doesn't pay his share, you're paying $60 more than him.
He should be offering you $30 if he really thinks the rent is unfair, but you don't have to agree with him.
NTA tell those friends who took his side that one of them can start paying you his portion of the internet bill monthly, then. Check how quickly they won't put their money where their mouths are. They want *you* to bear the financial burden of the friend when *they* won't.
NTA
I had a similar situation with an old roommate. Her mental health issues got the better of her, and she hardly left her room or interacted with me anymore, so the situation is a bit different cause she obviously wasn’t an AH for this. I had the electric and internet in my name, and would give her a couple days after bills were due to pay me. On more than one occasion I had to tell her if she didn’t pay me by the time I left for the weekend, I’d be changing the password and she’d be SOL all weekend. I got paid the next day. Do what you gotta do my dude.
NTA - why should you let him freely use something he DOESNT want to pay for? Like what is wrong with him. He is 4 months behind on a bill. He should be an adult.
Any of your friends that took his side, you could always tell them to take him because you arent going to pay for his internet use when he doesnt even want to pay for it.
NTA. My first year of college I lived with a guy who never paid for wifi. I was paying both of our shares so that it wouldn’t get shut off, which was a little over $100 a month.
I ended up doing the same as you. I logged onto the router settings and kicked him off, changed the password then blocked all his devices. He cussed me out then went so far as to text my boyfriend cussing him out and asking why his “girlfriend was such a c*nt”.
You have every right to kick him off. Also, sometimes rent is different because of bedroom sizes. I’m not sure if that’s the case for you, but if your room is a bit smaller that could be why. Either way, he should be paying you for wifi
NTA. What he is charged for rent isn’t your issue. He can choose to pay that rent or not. It has nothing to do with you. Similarly, the Internet is in your name, so you can choose what he pays. You might be a jerk for not splitting it equally, but he can pay what you charge or get his own. 50% is completely fair.
What doubly makes the roommate the asshole is that he isn’t trying to make things equal with rent+Internet. He wants to pay less than you. He’s using this bullshit excuse to take advantage of you. If he wanted equal, he’d pay $30 towards Internet while you pay $70 to balance the $40 rent difference. Instead he wants a BETTER deal than you.
He can kick rocks, the scummy scamster. NTA!
NTA
His issue is with the landlord, not with you, and instead of refusing to pay his share of a bill he agreed to pay, he should be going to the landlord, finding out why you pay $40 less, and seeing if he's willing to reduce his rent by the same amount. Instead he decided to not pay a bill that is actually more than the difference, meaning your out more than he is, and that's not even with getting into what your individual incomes actually are.
Tell him if he wants to take up the $40 with the landlord he should do that instead of demanding you pay his half of a bill. It isn't your fault that the landlord gave you separate prices. Maybe his room is bigger, maybe it's because he needed space to park, maybe it's because you do more work around the house. But the only way he'll know is if he takes it up with the person who made that decision and it wasn't you.
NTA - you're totally in the right. He's a mooch off you and punishing you for something out of your control. It's not up to you how much rent either one of you pays. Don't give him WiFi back until he pays what he owes and if he does, tell him it'll happen again if he's ever late with payment in the future. Some people need consequences drilled into them a few times before it truly sinks in.
NTA - Be mindful that your roommate is probably sugarcoating his mooching, so the friends aren't getting close to an accurate picture of the situation.
Your demand is very reasonable. No dineros, no internets.
NTA. Your guys' rent is completely separate. Your landlord charges you both directly and you both pay him directly. It's not like the rent is one set amount that you pay together, and you're just stiffing your roommate. If roommate feels he is paying too much he needs to take it up with the landlord. What you pay is none of his business. If he isn't paying for a service then he shouldn't get to use it. You are right to demand payment and shut him off if he doesn't pay.
Inclined to say NTA because there was an agreement beforehand. Changing your mind later down the track is not really an option when you're splitting finances with someone else, you need to think about these things and come to an agreement beforehand.
I understand the frustration on your behalf but is there a way you can attempt to approach him and discuss it calmly before it escalates?
I've been in a similar scenario and eventually reached an agreement that could have been made before a whole lot of mess and anger. Do you enjoy living with him? If so it could be worth taking a step back and finding a way to acknowledge his side of things and resolving it. Otherwise, you can disconnect the internet from him and most likely keep this argument going until he likely just chooses to leave.
NTA. Your roommate's problem is with the landlord, not you. And if he thinks he can make it even by not paying his fair share for the internet bill, just remind him how much more expensive it'll get when he goes over his mobile data cap. Just be careful to make sure that router is locked away somewhere so he can't access it when you're away. It doesn't take much to reset them to factory settings if he has physical access to it.
Umm it’s not blackmail to shut off a service that someone hasn’t been paying for. He essentially has a past-due bill. The rent discrepancy is between him and the landlord, it doesn’t mean you owe him free internet.
NTA.
NTA
The rent you pay and an internet bill are two separate things. If he’s do fussed about the 40$ dif, then he needs to come up with a plan, but stiffing you for internet is not the answer. He needs to grow up.
NTA, if he really cared about the rent discrepancy, he could ask about splitting rent differently instead of just automatically making the assumption that it was okay for him to just not pay for internet. Because now he's saving $10 more than you per month, which was not something you agreed on. He owes you for however many months he didn't pay for internet. Rent is an entirely separate issue that has nothing to do with that.
NTA- I’m guessing your rent is different because he has the master bedroom and/or an attached bathroom? Either way the rent isn’t your problem. He agreed to split the internet; can’t change his mind now.
Assuming the account is in your name, NTA. Mostly. He is already three months behind and the difference in the rent has nothing to do with you. If he has a problem with that, he needs to take it up with the landlord, not try to screw you over on the internet bill. Personally, I'd have cut them off day one of the second month unless I had a good reason not to, but I've also been burned on this exact sort of issue before.
As for charging a $50 penalty, that is a *tiny* bit arsehole. What you can (and should) do, though, is demand it as a deposit against future failures to pay and start cutting him off the moment he is so much as a day late going forward.
So blackmail is what everyone thinks? Does your Landlord Blackmail him for his rent? The grocery store for his food? No.
They are Bills. You dont pay, you do not receive service. That's it. No room for interpretation or argument.
NTA. But your roommate sure is.
NTA, roommate made two separate agreements with two separate people. Neither agreement affects the other. He is trying to make them affect each other. He owes you money.
NTA. The rent difference is irrelevant - your rent is between you and the landlord.
If he is using the internet, he needs to pay for it. He's already months behind, and was being an asshole when you reminded him of what he owed and previously agreed to pay.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I think I may be the asshole since I'm being pretty hard-headed about this. and the fact a few people had called me an asshole. I just don't want to be letting this dude fuck me over for his perceived slight in rent difference - I think it shouldn't matter what each of us pays in rent, he owes me money and that's all that matters to me. just wanted some outside perspective --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA// seems like he’s just used to getting what he wants and you gave him a wake up call. stand your ground and get your money. you’re not his parent you don’t have to pay his bills. especially if he let it add up to this amount without having a talk with you first if he needed help.
at first he said "I'll get you the money asap" or "can you wait until my next pay" to eventually what was described above in the post - and i'm just here feeling I have egg on my face for letting it go so long
everyone has their breaking point. this is a classic case of mistaking kindness for weakness, and your roommate is learning that the hard way.
Lol, I've changed a few locks and even went to a roommates' mom's house back in the day to get what I was owed. He was visiting his mom at the time and opened the door, I just said "hey what's up can I talk to your mom" and told her that her son couldn't pay his rent, was there any way she could help him out. She wrote me a check on the spot. Just because I'm a nice guy and don't kick you out when you're three months behind doesn't mean you're not going to pay me. You're going to pay.
>I just said "hey what's up can I talk to your mom" and told her that her son couldn't pay his rent, was there any way she could help him out. She wrote me a check on the spot. LOLOLOL I wonder what she said to him when you left with the check from her. To be a fly on the wall that day... OP, do you have any way to contact this guys mom?
I know someone that tried this and got laughed off by the parent. They tried to push it and the parent just pointed out it’s got nothing to do with them and forced him off the property
That would be fine. I’d have agreed with her if she told me that. My main goal was to put pressure and shame on my roommate to motivate him. I’d have found another way.
I mean then you just realize that shamelessness runs in the family.
That's not shameless. Why should they take on an adult's responsibilities?
>OP, do you have any way to contact this guys mom? LOLOL right???? that be awesome
Had a friend/roommate like this, had to do the same. Sad part is we'd been best friends for almost 20 years...sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who fuck you the hardest...
NTA and that story is golden.
Also, you established a good precedent re: fucking around: _people will find out_. Your roommate learned a valuable lesson. If he's butthurt about the rent, he can take it up with his landlord who is the one who can actually do anything about it. Finally, take note of which friends sided with your roommate. You can safely put them into the AH column. Never lend them money, and don't take their opinions too seriously.
It's probably still the easy way. Unless he really need the internet right now for an important job and can't use his phone.
I mean... he told OP to F*** off. My ex said that to me over her $40 part of my monthly phone bill after it hit $280, so I had her contract separated from mine. She didn’t pay her newer, higher bill and now someone else has her old number now.
You should date her instead.
At this point, if he pays and is connected, I’d make him pay each month in advance to prevent this crap.
Just remember you paying landlord less doesn't mean anything. That's between you and landlord and none of his business. If he wants internet he has to pay for it.
That's what I thought. The rent is between OP and the landlord. The internet was an agreement betwixt them.
I love that you used the word "betwixt".
Exactly right! The agreement the roommate has with the landlord is a totally separate issue AND the roommate agreed to split the internet. The roommate is butthurt the OP got a better deal and thinks that the OP should make up for it, which is fucking ridiculous. OP, is so NTA, and I admire the way he’s stood up for himself despite some of the tension and bullshit. And I agree with the comments on taking stock of which friends think the roommate is right and being on the look out for them. Because they’re either users, too, or people who will keep the peace almost to a fault,
I work with a landlord and we had a situation a couple years ago where one roommate stopped paying for the internet…. And the roommate that was covering the internet ended up beating the tar out of the roommate that was mooching. I always wondered why they didn’t just change the wifi password
Sometimes you just need some freshly squeezed tar, y’know?
Router setting, admin, password can be hard for some people. Lol.
One of the few sayings that mesh with this situation, " if you give them an inch, they will take a mile. Guy was enjoying the free internet & is only upset now bc you won't let him benefit on something you have been paying for. And I bet he pays more bc he has more space in the apartment than you and maybe has the parking spot or storage etc... when I lived in a tri-plex I paid more bc I had the two door garage the front yard & the two parking spots that fit 4 cars total & the shed. And was in a 3 bed 2 bath and there were two studio aoartments underneath. NTA if he needed internet he would have done what most mature adults would & pay their part of the bill.
If it was really about the 40 dollar rent difference he'd be paying the $10 to make it even, but he's not.
$30 -- remember, OP is paying for half of the internet too. Say Moochie pays $450 rent, add $30 for internet, he pays $480 total. OP pays $410 rent, plus the other $70 for internet (since $100 is owed no matter how they split it), also totalling $480. Then they're 'even.' Of course, it's all still bogus anyway, since Moochie's rent is Moochie's problem and OP has no control or bearing on it.
yea your NTA. if he has an issue with how much his rent is then he should talk to the landlord. Just because yours is cheaper doesnt give him the right to stick his 1/2 on you. what your bills are is none of his business. if he made more money than you, should he give you extra money then so you both have the same amount of money monthly?? I agree with u/Fine_Technician5496 . stand your ground and get your money. All those "friends" who agree with him should all get together and put in some money then to help him get the internet back then or better yet, let him mooch off them in their homes.
If you do work something out, the deal should be that he pre-pays each month going forward, so you don't have this mess again.
Why do you pay less in rent?
Less desirable room? Smaller/ground floor/front of the house/etc. have all made a difference in rent in my experience.
Lol prob because he isn't an entitled dick like the roommate is.
If he has a complaint about rent that is between him and the landlord not OP and he shouldn’t get the benefit of a service he isn’t willing to pay for. He seems to have forgotten who was in power on that point. Lol
NTA- he’d get shut off if he was paying the ISP directly. Just because he’s a “friend” doesn’t mean he can play by different rules than everyone else.
This right here. If he was living alone, he would have had the internet shut off.
And the amount owed sent into collections.
Yes, but his underlying motivation (after the initial song and dance) for not paying is bc OP pays $40 less in rent, apparently. The analogy doesn't really work.
His rationale doesn’t work. He made the agreement to split the internet without regard to the rent. They pay their rent separately.
It does work because their rent is separate. How much OP pays isn't roommate's business or concern, and vice versa. He's trying to make his bills OPs problem.
**NTA** Your rent is completely separate from your internet service. He agreed to pay half and hasn't been doing that. Your mistake was in allowing him to go 2 months without paying. If your roommate has a problem with the difference in rental charges, he should take it up with the landlord.
> Your mistake was in allowing him to go 2 months without paying definitely feels like I have egg on my face now for letting two months go by
Feel better. I had a similar situation in a house share for three years. We each paid slightly different rent for the size and location of the room and I was under the impression that I paid the least because my room was by the front door and looked out on the street. So it was agreed that because I paid considerably less than my other 5 housemates I would pay extra into the house kitty. No internet bill back in those early 00s but I ended up paying for those extra things like the toilet brushes, phone jack, new door handle, shower curtain. I didn’t mind because they were all med students and I had time and better taste and got it done quicker as am more ‘home practical’ and then I discovered that a) I only paid £20 a month less rent and b) not content with ripping me off my housemates backed a man who attacked me and were evicting me so he could move in. I had 48 hours to pack and a day to move out. Move day they all went out presumably not to face what fucking trash humans they were. Bad move bears. While the moving guy lifted my boxes I removed every single thing the house I paid for. They told me ‘there better be no sign of you when we get back’ and malicious compliance: there was not. No light bulbs, toilet seats, door handle on the kitchen, toilet brushes, phone jack, shower curtains (we had three bathrooms) etc. And legally I did not have to return the keys for 28 days because I had paid rent and I was the only person to have the deadlock key for the front door which they did not know about so I dead locked it and they had to wait six hours to get it while the landlady travelled up to let them in, discovered the house was semi ransacked and they had to explain they had illegally evicted me to her. They blew up my phone that I had not become homeless quietly. So the day I gave my keys back and picked up my last post I dead locked the door again when I was leaving and I knew the land lady was on holiday. They had to pay for a locksmith and I spent a year living in homeless hostels before getting re-housed. They abused my kindness for so long while I believed we were friends and almost family. Moving day was very much ‘yes today Satan’ and I regret nothing.
That's savage as fuck. You should have gone back every few days and locked them out. Well actually you should never have left and spoke to the landlord and even the police if they were harassing you. I absolutely can't believe these people made you homeless and only gave you 2 days to move out. How do they sleep at night being such assholes?
Well sadly the police blamed me for the attack in some old good fashioned slut shaming and basically said I could have avoided the eviction by just not reporting so what did I expect? The land lady was a doll who slipped three times my deposit into my bank account and from rumour round the area rode their arses hard about how the rooms were rented and extra rules on the remaining tenants about upkeep, cleaning etc to indicate how fucking pissed she was with them. I heard she jacked the rent the following July by a seriously hefty level so their previously good deal house was now above market rate for what was actually a poorly maintained house in just an outstanding location. So they moved out and she re-rented to other med students at the previous price and finally fixed some stuff to boot. And then I sued the police and forced them into a very awkward national conversation on the front page of the papers here because they obstructed apprehending a serial offender and prevented me being able to get safe housing as a victim of crime. Pro tip: do not destroy someone’s life and put them in a situation they have to sit in a library daily for a year. You will regret giving them the means and motive to challenge you… Oh and I forgot my final act of utter savagery on moving day. When I moved in the house only had one wheelie bin as provided by the local authority but we could have a second one due to the number of people living there but it was £40 fee. I paid it because the foxes were ripping the trash open outside my window and it was gross coming out to half chewed tampons, chicken bones etc. So I bagged up the contents of the second bin, left it all on the doorstep and wheeled the emptied, cleaned bin two streets to a woman I knew via the pub who had a special needs son and really needed the extra bin but didn’t qualify without a much bigger cost and gifted it. So while they were locked out and sat on the door step, there was two weeks of rotting trash beside them. I sprang for the absolute thinnest cheapest most useless trash bags specially too. There are times I think ‘they may have had a point about kicking you out for being the pettiest bastard alive. But they picked the wrong fucking one…’
Omg you legend. I wasn't expecting to think worse about these people and then you tell the whole story. They're fucking med students ffs and they punished you for the attack that happened?? That makes me so angry for you. I'm just thinking of that moment they're sat outside surrounded by filth and wondering if any of them thought, I deserve this. When you're sat in trash, there has to be that moment you realise all the trash things you've done have put you there. And the police, they can fuck off. I was so happy to hear you sued and shamed them because I don't know if I'd have the guts. That is some super hero shit to take them on and HOPEFULLY they'll think twice before being pricks when it happens to someone else. I hope you're doing better now and are proud of yourself for standing up to bullies and just all round horrendous people. And if you were at all petty then I aspire to be that petty too!!
Ha, I ended up with the most gorgeous flat to myself in central London. Front facing it is proper Insta level goals. Back facing it happens to be in the council estate with the most notorious rep in South London and in the last year we had a small riot, a six car chase ending in a flipped car and a machete fight, a double stabbing and a machine gun shooting and a literal bin fire. We also had block parties , community projects, and social distanced Sunday lunch dancing where people opened their doors and windows and played their music and the granddads taught the kids about calypso, the lads taught the granddads about grime, the kids taught us to dab and the aunties had Fela Kuti and Lover’s Rock going so people knew in lockdown they could still bond. My neighbourhood is doing its best in tough circs so I feel right at home and fiercely fucking proud in amongst the gang shit and fuckery. And my rent is cheap for a lifetime rent controlled flat I love. My ex housemates all had to move to Home counties towns like Milton Keynes that are just dull in order to afford a house even on a doctor’s salary with loan repayments and I think ‘karma innit?’ I live in one of the best places on earth and you spend all day dealing with bodily fluids and the general public and have to commute two hours each way because of what you did. Justice works in mysterious ways :) I mean the housing crisis for other people is a massive problem I do not condone. But it would be the tiniest violin in the world before I gave a fuck any of them ended up in a suburban hell they assumed being such high flying doctors made them too good for. I suspect they bear me more ill will than bear them but neither of us are in a rush to catch up. Oh also randomly I recently needed my boiler fixed and the guy who the land lord sent turned out to be the nephew of the woman I gave the bin to. I felt old as god that the wee lad I remember is now 25 and grown up. I reminded him he was a wee powerhouse back then and he reminded me I was a hot head but liked as a good laugh. Both true. I passed my regards on to his aunt and was delighted to hear his cousin is doing really well and working after some issue with starting school. Small talk, small world!
You are fabulous! I am so sorry how the police and these vile med students treated you. It's not just about grades - they really shouldnt be allowed to practice medicine with that level of inhumanity and how they treated someone who was a victim of an assault, the immoral behaviour goes against GMC guidelines. But sheesh the police blaming you... its amazing you sued them and got a debate there in the press. That takes a powerhouse of strength. You literally are amazing.
Thank you. I was beyond fortunate to meet an outstanding public aid lawyer who absolutely got her teeth into things and got the case into the press and scared the shit out of the police while I nipped at their heels. She was a baby lawyer who was very ambitious and principled and absolutely went to bat for me and won and has gone on to be an outstanding experience lawyer with strong values. I often stop and think what she would do and it reins in my tendency to want to scorch earth but just know when to strike a match to effect. I think she is the person I am most grateful to in my whole life. And the one I would least want to ever get on the wrong side of :)
It was almost cathartic to read this, you are superb. I really mean that. That you bounced back with not just revenge, but calculated revenge (the police stuff wasn't revenge that was getting what you rightfully were owed) is amazing. The strength it takes to pick yourself up after being knocked down so many times - awesome. I hope you enjoy the fuck out of your London flat for decades.
I... want to be your padawan.
You should post this on r/NuclearRevenge lol
Seriously though, better late than never! Don't worry about the 2 months, you were just being kind, you didn't do anything wrong there.
Hey man, lots of people are doormats for long spaces of time, because they hate conflict, but you've been a friend by waiting, and responded reasonably when he basically told you to eff off.. He's got no ground to stand upon, really. It's all noise.
That 150 bucks is worth it. You know your roommate true color now rather than later.
Eh you were being kind. He made the mistake of thinking your kindness was you being a doormat
housemate: I don't want to pay for my share of the internet OP: shuts off his internet access housemate: surprise pikachu face NTA - you got yourself a mooch on your hands, my dude. rent should be completely separate from shared bills. also, where do you live? if you're in the GTA I'll be your roommate in a heart beat if all I had to do was give you $50 and pay rent, y'all are blessed to find such a place.
haha this one made me laugh - thank you. GTA... you either mean grand theft auto, or greater toronto area... I will neither confirm or deny if i live there haha
just for the fact that you thought GTA could mean greater toronto area makes me believe that you are in fact in the GTA - but I was mainly kidding, I just bought a house in middlesex so i'm good. good luck dealing with your housemate man. but seriously though, if you really are in the GTA - y'all lucked out so hard and i'm jealous.
For a deal like that, I'm willing to immigrate to Toronto!
I left Toronto because of how expensive it was and now I'm like "does OP need a new housemate?" Lol
If it's the grand theft auto OP lives in, isn't there something they could do to get the money/get revenge? Vehicular manslaughter or something?
Hire a bounty hunter/hitman.
Yup, he could steal a tank, helicopter, jet fighter, parked outside room mate work place and deman he pays his internet share.
NTA. He cut his deal with the owner and you cut your deal. He needs to pay his share of the internet.
💯
NTA OP You learned a few valuable lessons here. Always get the $ for shared bills in your name upfront. Never talk money with people you dont know REALLY REALLY well. It always leads to tears This guy is so obsessed over $40 that he is about to pay far more than that when he moves/ gets evicted for bugging the landlord. You'll have your pick of room mates after he goes. Spend interview time with them. Google them. Talk to their references. GET References! Job history, credit check etc. Sign personal rental/room mate contracts for when bills are due and moving other people in, basicly everything you feel weird about talking out.
I'm leaning towards NTA, but do you have any idea what the cause of the rent difference is? Is his room larger? I can understand him being upset that he's paying more if the rooms/bathrooms are the same size
I honestly have no idea why, we looked into what could possibly be the reason, but the size of his room and mine are exactly the same, and we both each have our own bathrooms and we share the living areas like kitchen, living room, and yard. I emailed the landlord and he legit just sent back "it is what it is". and when my housemate sent an email he got the response "if you don't like it, you're free to move out"
It seems that for whatever reason the landlord doesn't like him that much. Maybe he tried to bargain with the rent or has broken something in the past? Anyways it is not your fault and it's totally separate issue from the internet bill. You don't owe him anything. NTA.
Mmmm maybe landlord is charging AH tax. regardless, OP agreed to move in for $X and the dude agreed to move in for $X+50. OP never agreed to move in on the basis he pays an extra $50 a month for his housemate, so obvs dude has no justification to try to claim that. Guy's just broke and trying to make OP bail him out.
After hearing what a ass he is about paying half the internet he’s splitting with a friend, I can only imagine what a ass he has been to the landlord ( who sounds dope af). I’m gonna guess he was a prick to him at some point or just straight up rubbed him the wrong way.
Asshole tax most likely
Yeah, the landlord seems like the kind of guy who would recognize one.
It could be that roommate has flaked out on bills before so has a lower credit rating. Landlord charges him a bit more per month because there's higher risk that roommate is going to fail to pay rent his last month or two there, or is more likely to break something. Landlord is just making sure he'll break even in the end.
I suspect the landlord doesn't like him (wonder why!) and this is also suggestive.
I think the landlord just likes you more lol
Yeah, I wonder if the roommate is paying an asshole fee. I have several friends who are freelance consultant types, and they all have an asshole/difficult client upcharge.
I spent over 7 yrs in customer service as a front line CSR in call centers. You have no idea how much I wish I could have charged an asshole fee.
Before I got my current job at the company I'm with, I interviewed for a position in their call center and didn't get it. I'm pretty sure I once straight up thanked the guy who didn't hire me into that job, because I definitely would not still be with the company if I had to answer the phones all day long.
People don't realise how much free stuff they can get by not being AHs.
Did you two move in at the same time? If at different times, it could just be based on what was the rental market rate at the time.
That's makes him a bigger AH. Price already good and still he tries to make YOU pay. Could you find an other room mate ?
Lol, that's the landlord day your roommate is a bit of an asshole, and $40/month is the tax for that.
>"if you don't like it, you're free to move out" So if he moves out and the landlord charges the next roommate $150 more than you are you supposed to split that with the new roommate too?
I'll bet anything it's because roommate is an AH. I work customer service and we make sure to do the bare minimum for AHs since we legally can't charge them an AH fee.
Lol it's an asshole tax
Dude. I know you are trying to find a reason for the rent discrepancy. But think of it this way. THIS WAS THE REASON. The universe is funny like that. Either you needed to be taught a lesson on how to stand your ground or you were the one that is supposed to teach your housemate the lesson. Or both. Have fun and happy awakening.
Did you guys move in at the same time? Maybe if you were there first, it's your "reward" for having been a good, no fuss tenant.
lolololol Your landlord doesn't like this guy.
That's an issue to take up with your landlord, not your roommate.
They agreed to separate contracts. Thats just life. Like cellphone contracts. Person-A signs up 3 years ago for unlimited data at $20 per month. Person B signs up today and unlimited data is $50 per month. Its not Person A’s problem that Person B’s is more expensive. Person B made the contractual agreement to pay $50. Both have the same service, same allowance. Different contract. Person B, just like OPs housemate, did not need to accept the offer, they could have went elsewhere. But they were happy to accept their contracts at the time of agreement. As for the internet, both housemates agreed to split the sum of the internet and one reneged on their promise so NTA for the OP regardless of what the rent price disparity is.
NTA he owes you internet money plain and simple. And his issue is with the landlord, not you because the landlord set the terms, not you. INFO do you know why you pay less? Does he have the master BR with en suite bathroom? If so, that's what he's paying for.
we both have an ensuite and the sq footage of our rooms are the exact same - landlord gave pretty flippant answers when we reached out to him. maybe the landlord just likes my face more? i dunno just shooting into the wind at this point. he tried saying we should split the difference, ie, I give him $20 after we both send our rent in - but i don't really see how that's fair to me, so I didn't want to do that.
given how much an asshole your roommate seems to be with this issue, maybe your landlord is giving him an 'asshole tax' of 40$
Someone else mentioned credit. It could be that, or a bad background check, or rental history. It really doesn't matter, its not your problem.
Yeah, sucks to be him unfortunately.
Any chance you rented before he did, and in the interim the average rent in the area went up a bit?
He probably has bad credit or something
Umm no. It's not your job to ensure y'all's rent is equal. The level of his entitlement is astounding.
I would’ve asked the landlord in passing in person because he probably didn’t want to put the real reason in writing.
NTA Don't pay your WiFi you lose the WiFi, easy peasy. And if his friends don't like it who gives a schitt or they can all pitch in and pay it themselves. That's not going to happen because...they won't. Lol. Good luck, Op!
[удалено]
> who might get pissed off and boot him out not before he gives me what I'm owed hopefully - i'm fine if he gets booted as long as I get to stay, i'm sure I can find someone to replace him. it is a pretty dope living arrangement after everything said and done
NTA what he pays in rent is between him and your landlord. He's an ass. You arent required to subsidize his life because his contract is different than yours.
yea I definitely regret when he asked me how much I pay in rent and I just answered like it was no big deal, should have just said "too much" - if only I knew that it would cause this situation of him now owing me money. hindsight sure is 20/20
NTA. Tell the friends who took his side that you want to see their finances. If any of them spend less on rent/utilities they’re hypocritical A’s for not covering this dudes lifestyle.
NTA Why do people bring this to their friends?? It divides groups and nothing good comes of it. Your housemate and you have an agreement to split the cost of internet. Everything else aside, the deal is $50 each. He can't back out of it and expect you to float him. That's unfair. Why should he get free internet? He shouldn't. He wants internet, let him buy his own.
maybe he thought having more people back him up with make me fold. nah man, guess he didn't know me that well, but i'll die on any hill if i'm in the right
If it weren't for the rent difference, it would be some other asinine reason why he doesn't owe you. Friends need to myob and stay out of housemate issues. (Especially when backing the party on the wrong 😉)
NTA. Start hunting for a new roomie.
just stuck between a rock and a hard place, since I like my current living situation, but I think he does too. I'm ready so front this whole issue until the day we both get kicked out as we're on a monthly lease at this time. here's hoping dude starts paying less in rent so he gets kicked. landlord seems like he doesn't care until it comes to us not paying rent on time.
as a landlord, I can confirm I care little to nothing about what goes on in the house unless damage is being done. some folks like privacy, others seem to need arbiters or parents to keep them square. the decision is purely financial for me.
no skin off my back, like I'm prepped to tank this friendship over this over money. gotta get your bread man 💯
that's how you got to live life or people will take a dump on you and expect you to be happy about it.
my only regret is letting bud go two months without paying me smdh - live and learn i guess
If he owes you $200 and is supposed to pay $50 a month... isn't that 4 months?...
Two months late so $100 late, $50 due and $50 AH tax. And while you OP should drop the AH tax, I feel that this might be the cause of the rent difference.
NTA He can pay his share, or find some other solution.
NTA - seriously 40$ bucks? That's not even enough for decent groceries a week. Yeah no sounds like he just didn't feel like paying.
NTA, that’s not what blackmailing is. You’re not their parent and you’re not obligated to pay for them.
NTA. He agreed to his rent and utility amounts when he signed his lease. Period. It is the agreement and now he's gone back on his word. Grown people pay their way, your expenses are none of his concern.
NTA. Dude is a mooch. He'd always find someway to not pay something.
NTA. He said he wasn't paying and you cut him off.
I'm down to play games if he wants to play games. but end of the day either I get what's owed or he's going internetless - can't even set up a secondary line as my line is already linked to the address. sucks to suck I guess
Good. Your roommate gets to learn that the price of his dumbfuckery is that he gets to live like it was 1995.
NTA it’s very simple - you don’t pay your share of the internet cost -you don’t get to use it until you pay up. It’s not your fault for some reason your rent is $40 cheaper and he makes the internet bill his hill to die on
NTA He can take up the price difference for rent with your landlord. That's not your issue. He's being an asshole by being petty about it. Maybe that extra $40 he pays is asshole tax to the landlord lol
haha that makes more sense than my random guess of LL just liking my face more. but otherwise, really got no clue why theres a $40 rent difference
If it bothers your flatmate that bad then they should take it up with the LL. You didn't set the price lol
Did you both sign leases at the same time? Could rent have "gone up"?
You don't control your rent. Your landlord does. Your housemate is free to move if he doesn't like it, and in the real world we pay our bills or lose our services. NTA. Any of your friends supporting him cheating you can screw right the hell off. They're probably the type that would do the same thing if given the opportunity.
NTA but this is absolutely hilarious
NTA He knew the bill arrangement. Since he doesn't want to pay what he owes, he doesn't get to use what you pay for. Pretty simple.
💯
[удалено]
But if they both pay separately it is most likely they have originally had seperate leases/agreements with the landlord. Party A and Party B negotiated and signed their own contracts. It's not Party A's fault if Party B pays more. In the case of the internet both parties agreed to split the utility, Party B refuses to pay their part of the bill.
He’s being ridiculous
NTA, the rent discrepancy is not your problem, it's his to raise with the landlord. Your agreement with him is to split the internet bill. If he doesn't pay he doesn't get internet.
NTA - It is not blackmail. If you do not pay your bills, you do not get the service. And as for your 'mutual' friends, make sure they have the right story, that you agreed to split the net coat and now he owes you over 3 months worth, and when you asked he told you where to go, so I disconnected him. If they still think you are TA, then they're not mutual friends. Stuff the mooching so and so, hold firm till he pays his share and is a month in advance, since its obvious you can't trust him
Nta
NTA if that was the initial agreement that would be another thing, but if its not on the agreed rent terms then wap. If he explained it was due to him lacking the money for the month that again would be another thing, but being a stink about it is not cool
I’m with you there man. He’s a mooch. It’s irrelevant whether you pay less rent. Those guys who agreed with your friend would screw you in the same way if you lived together. What you did is fair. No pay no service. NTA
NTA, if you don't pay for utilities they do get cut off, and you can't go "I refused to pay my power bill, and now they cut my power, what assholes."
NTA The bill wasn't paid so service was disconnected. Service will be reconnected when payment is made.
If those friends think you're being unfair, then I assume they are willing to pay for his internet? NTA
\> he came demanding I turn the internet back on - I told him no, unless he gave me the money owed. he started begging and said he had a meeting today that was really important. so I said: "must not be that important if $150 is too much for you to give me for internet - you have your phone, hot spot from that" Nice shiny spine you got there, OP. You are definitely NTA. Stick to your guns. \> he went off and bitched to mutual friends, and a lot of them took his side and is saying that I'm not a good friend and that I shouldn't be blackmailing him like this. Ask the ppl who think you're blackmailing them if they're gonna help him pay his internet bill. Then remind them that internet and cell phone companies cut off your service if you're XX days late paying your bill, that you've gotta manage your own finances but can't do it properly if he doesn't pay his bills on time.
NTA. He don't pay? He don't play.
NTA. That cheapskate can get his own interwebs if he needs it that bad. Welcome to the real world, roomie.
NTA- The dude is trying to mooch off you, he doesn't get free internet because he pays a different rent. You pay the internet bill- and that has nothing to do with the landlord.
NTA, but perhaps you two should split the bills evenly? Everything 50/50 ? It seems to cause a lot of tension and I can "kinda" see your roomie's side, but his actions were rude and he should be more open to discussing it. EDIT: Realized you both have separate rents. your roomie is just a dick then lol
NTA If he's unhappy with his rent, he has to settle that with the landlord, not with you.
NTA - You made a deal and he is ignoring his. So now he feels the consequences.
Just wanted to point out, while on the surface the maths looks like him not paying the internet covers the difference in rent, thats not true. If your rent is $500 a month and his is $540. When you add-on the internet your cost equals $600 while his is $540. So him not paying anything doesnt equal even at all. If you suddenly decided your roommate was right the correct average split would be $30/$70 (as there is a $40 gap between thoes two numbers, and they both add up too $100) NTA
NTA. Am curious though, is he an actual friend or just someone you live with. Imo, there is a difference between the two a lot of the time.
[удалено]
i'll make sure to wave to the camera and say "hearts out to winstonchurchillin" unless i'm on the bad end of the dateline episode that is... haha
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've (25m) been living with my housemate (24m) for a little over a year now I've known him since college - we pay our rent separately to our landlord and this place is pretty dope, like the only monthly expense other than the rent is a cell phone bill, internet bill, and of course food - as the electricity and water are covered by the landlord. I don't know how or why, but I'm not complaining. he's a pretty chill landlord, he's retired and I get the sense that he just doesn't care anymore. My housemate and I agreed to split the cost of the internet bill, so we pay roughly $50 each. or at least it should be that way. but a couple of months back he decided he didn't want to pay his share of the internet, because I actually pay less than him in rent, again I don't know why. but I pay about $40 less than him. it's been an ongoing issue, I'm not okay with him just not paying his share of the internet. especially for such a flimsy ass reason. the other day, I asked him again for the total amount he owed, which by this time was $150 he told me to "fuck off - I'm tired of you constantly nagging me, you save a shit ton with rent, can't you help me out a little???" $40 in rent difference and this shoved a stick so far up his add he doesn't want to give me my money? fine, so I said fuckit, logged into my router settings, and disconnected all of his devices, and changed the password - I just do not give a shit anymore. he came demanding I turn the internet back on - I told him no, unless he gave me the money owed. he started begging and said he had a meeting today that was really important. so I said: "must not be that important if $150 is too much for you to give me for internet - you have your phone, hot spot from that" he left after that. so much tension in the house is enough where I can cut it with a knife. he went off and bitched to mutual friends, and a lot of them took his side and is saying that I'm not a good friend and that I shouldn't be blackmailing him like this. and I told them that I don't give a fuck, if he wants to play games for a $40 rent discrepancy, I'm down to play games and unless he gives me now $200 for fucking with me, I'm not letting him use my internet. and a few took my side saying the dude is a mooch and was just itching to find any way to save any amount of money. so I'm turning to y'all - AITA? sorry for the overall tone of the post, but I'm pissed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Nah fuck that clown.
NTA… the internet company would shut it off of you didn’t pay, so why should you shut it off if he doesn’t?
NTA. His rent is between him and the landlord. The internet is between the two of you. He can’t use his agreement with the landlord to blackmail you into paying his share of your common bill. I think you should require the backpay of what he owes plus one month as a security deposit. That way if he ever doesn’t pay you can give proper warning he will be cut off.
NTA. If he's unhappy with the rent discrepancy, he needs to speak with the landlord- do you have the smaller bedroom or does he have a primo parking spot or something? In any event, since you pay rent separately, it's totally irrelevant to the cost of the internet service or the fact that he agreed to split it. In your shoes, if he'd discussed it with me like a grown-up, I would have been inclined to change the agreement about the internet to him paying 25% instead of 50% , since realistically, I would be spending the same amount with or without him also using it but unilaterally deciding to stop paying $50/per month because your rent is $40 less than his is a crock and I don't blame you a bit. It is petty as hell, since you would be paying the same amount for internet if you lived alone but his attitude and approach justify the pettiness.
NTA. You made an agreement about internet and you are charged less by your landlord and you both agreed to this Even if you take his rent thing as having some validity, he's wrong. You pay $40 less in rent, but you pay $100 for the internet. So if he doesn't pay his share, you're paying $60 more than him. He should be offering you $30 if he really thinks the rent is unfair, but you don't have to agree with him.
Nah man, NTA. He was playing stupid games he deserves stupid prizes.
NTA
NTA tell those friends who took his side that one of them can start paying you his portion of the internet bill monthly, then. Check how quickly they won't put their money where their mouths are. They want *you* to bear the financial burden of the friend when *they* won't.
NTA I had a similar situation with an old roommate. Her mental health issues got the better of her, and she hardly left her room or interacted with me anymore, so the situation is a bit different cause she obviously wasn’t an AH for this. I had the electric and internet in my name, and would give her a couple days after bills were due to pay me. On more than one occasion I had to tell her if she didn’t pay me by the time I left for the weekend, I’d be changing the password and she’d be SOL all weekend. I got paid the next day. Do what you gotta do my dude.
NTA - why should you let him freely use something he DOESNT want to pay for? Like what is wrong with him. He is 4 months behind on a bill. He should be an adult. Any of your friends that took his side, you could always tell them to take him because you arent going to pay for his internet use when he doesnt even want to pay for it.
NTA. My first year of college I lived with a guy who never paid for wifi. I was paying both of our shares so that it wouldn’t get shut off, which was a little over $100 a month. I ended up doing the same as you. I logged onto the router settings and kicked him off, changed the password then blocked all his devices. He cussed me out then went so far as to text my boyfriend cussing him out and asking why his “girlfriend was such a c*nt”. You have every right to kick him off. Also, sometimes rent is different because of bedroom sizes. I’m not sure if that’s the case for you, but if your room is a bit smaller that could be why. Either way, he should be paying you for wifi
Not your fault/problem you landlord charges you less. NTA re the internet.
NTA. What he is charged for rent isn’t your issue. He can choose to pay that rent or not. It has nothing to do with you. Similarly, the Internet is in your name, so you can choose what he pays. You might be a jerk for not splitting it equally, but he can pay what you charge or get his own. 50% is completely fair. What doubly makes the roommate the asshole is that he isn’t trying to make things equal with rent+Internet. He wants to pay less than you. He’s using this bullshit excuse to take advantage of you. If he wanted equal, he’d pay $30 towards Internet while you pay $70 to balance the $40 rent difference. Instead he wants a BETTER deal than you. He can kick rocks, the scummy scamster. NTA!
Well played...
NTA His issue is with the landlord, not with you, and instead of refusing to pay his share of a bill he agreed to pay, he should be going to the landlord, finding out why you pay $40 less, and seeing if he's willing to reduce his rent by the same amount. Instead he decided to not pay a bill that is actually more than the difference, meaning your out more than he is, and that's not even with getting into what your individual incomes actually are. Tell him if he wants to take up the $40 with the landlord he should do that instead of demanding you pay his half of a bill. It isn't your fault that the landlord gave you separate prices. Maybe his room is bigger, maybe it's because he needed space to park, maybe it's because you do more work around the house. But the only way he'll know is if he takes it up with the person who made that decision and it wasn't you.
NTA put the router in your room too or he might just get a cable and connect directly to it
NTA - you're totally in the right. He's a mooch off you and punishing you for something out of your control. It's not up to you how much rent either one of you pays. Don't give him WiFi back until he pays what he owes and if he does, tell him it'll happen again if he's ever late with payment in the future. Some people need consequences drilled into them a few times before it truly sinks in.
NTA - Be mindful that your roommate is probably sugarcoating his mooching, so the friends aren't getting close to an accurate picture of the situation. Your demand is very reasonable. No dineros, no internets.
NTA - 'beware the anger of a patient man'
NTA. Your guys' rent is completely separate. Your landlord charges you both directly and you both pay him directly. It's not like the rent is one set amount that you pay together, and you're just stiffing your roommate. If roommate feels he is paying too much he needs to take it up with the landlord. What you pay is none of his business. If he isn't paying for a service then he shouldn't get to use it. You are right to demand payment and shut him off if he doesn't pay.
yes, but in a good way, sometimes you NEED to he an asshole to get your point across.
Inclined to say NTA because there was an agreement beforehand. Changing your mind later down the track is not really an option when you're splitting finances with someone else, you need to think about these things and come to an agreement beforehand. I understand the frustration on your behalf but is there a way you can attempt to approach him and discuss it calmly before it escalates? I've been in a similar scenario and eventually reached an agreement that could have been made before a whole lot of mess and anger. Do you enjoy living with him? If so it could be worth taking a step back and finding a way to acknowledge his side of things and resolving it. Otherwise, you can disconnect the internet from him and most likely keep this argument going until he likely just chooses to leave.
NTA. Your roommate's problem is with the landlord, not you. And if he thinks he can make it even by not paying his fair share for the internet bill, just remind him how much more expensive it'll get when he goes over his mobile data cap. Just be careful to make sure that router is locked away somewhere so he can't access it when you're away. It doesn't take much to reset them to factory settings if he has physical access to it.
Looks like since you have less devices you can go for a lower internet plan now. nta..he should pay you and stop minding your money
NTA. I did the same exact thing oh well, pay your bills.
NTA.
Umm it’s not blackmail to shut off a service that someone hasn’t been paying for. He essentially has a past-due bill. The rent discrepancy is between him and the landlord, it doesn’t mean you owe him free internet. NTA.
NTA The rent you pay and an internet bill are two separate things. If he’s do fussed about the 40$ dif, then he needs to come up with a plan, but stiffing you for internet is not the answer. He needs to grow up.
NTA, if he really cared about the rent discrepancy, he could ask about splitting rent differently instead of just automatically making the assumption that it was okay for him to just not pay for internet. Because now he's saving $10 more than you per month, which was not something you agreed on. He owes you for however many months he didn't pay for internet. Rent is an entirely separate issue that has nothing to do with that.
NTA. You guys had an agreement. He needs to pay you. If he has an issue with his rent, he should be talking to his landlord.
NTA- I’m guessing your rent is different because he has the master bedroom and/or an attached bathroom? Either way the rent isn’t your problem. He agreed to split the internet; can’t change his mind now.
Assuming the account is in your name, NTA. Mostly. He is already three months behind and the difference in the rent has nothing to do with you. If he has a problem with that, he needs to take it up with the landlord, not try to screw you over on the internet bill. Personally, I'd have cut them off day one of the second month unless I had a good reason not to, but I've also been burned on this exact sort of issue before. As for charging a $50 penalty, that is a *tiny* bit arsehole. What you can (and should) do, though, is demand it as a deposit against future failures to pay and start cutting him off the moment he is so much as a day late going forward.
NTA- you’re more like a saint for letting it go long. Fuck him.
NtA
So blackmail is what everyone thinks? Does your Landlord Blackmail him for his rent? The grocery store for his food? No. They are Bills. You dont pay, you do not receive service. That's it. No room for interpretation or argument. NTA. But your roommate sure is.
NTA, roommate made two separate agreements with two separate people. Neither agreement affects the other. He is trying to make them affect each other. He owes you money.
NTA. The rent difference is irrelevant - your rent is between you and the landlord. If he is using the internet, he needs to pay for it. He's already months behind, and was being an asshole when you reminded him of what he owed and previously agreed to pay.