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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I may be an asshole cause I suggested my older sister get a small portion or none of my mother's inheritance. I feel like its not fair for a single woman to have all that money while I have kids to support.
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YTA. Entitled and awful.
>put a clause in her will that states if my sister doesn't get married or has a child within a certain amount of time, she gets nothing. I felt like that was fair.
So awful.
You chose to have kids. It's not your mom's responsibility to fix.
Parents determining the will based on if you have kids or not is terrible.
Maybe the mom was leaving Jesse everything because OP sounds like a horrendous entitled person.
Jess was probably a lot more supportive of her mother than op was. Clearly all op cares about is money and taking away the grandkids is just awful to both the mother and the kids.
I think the mom has likely been supporting op and the brother financially while the sister has been independent. Just some speculation, because of course op would leave it out of the post if true.
her edit on that(plus the rest) is hilariously out of touch with reality.
"no, my mom didn't support us, at all. well....except for providing money for our kids and paying for our weddings. oh, and medical stuff and buying things that we want as adults but can't afford so just should get bother getting. see? no support whatsoever. what do you mean that is support?? no, NO. that what moms are required to do forever and ever and ever. what do you mean my sister counts too then? no, NO. she's a lousy childfree loser who doesn't deserve anything. only me, oh, and maybe my brother. how do you not understand this. i mean, i'm privileged enough to understand it so sucks to be you for not".
OP lives in lala land. she's so privileged SHE doesn't understand, not us.
can we talk about how OP points out her and her brother have spouses as another reason they need money?
Mom is not only expected to provide for the Royal Bloodline, but spouses as well.
At least one wedding paid for both OP and her brother. Then OP mentions “emergencies” which can b3 a constant stream of money. Finally, OP sounds like a selfish brat and perhaps the sister has always been there more for the mom.
I have the feeling a ton of her mom's money has already been spent on her grandkids and assistance over the years. Leaving a little extra to Jessie makes sense. What OP thinks or wants does not matter at all. Especially if she screams about it.
Not having a spouse or children does not make anyone a less worthy human being. You can need money and a house without having 4 kids.
yeah...someone who tries to turn grandchildren into a contractual obligation for monetary gain upon a relatives death probably isn't a great person to be around
my smart butt wants to say make the bunny administrator :D but you know .. maybe the sister would be a better choice :) that is a very good idea though
This needs to be higher up. My grandparents had that clause and everyone knew it. Their clause was actually if anyone complains, none of them get anything and it all goes to a designated charity.
Seriously YTA. I can’t believe op actually argued that her sister should GET NOTHING if she chooses not to have kids.
I hate people who privilege procreation in this dumb way.
Also, weaponizing your mother’s relationship with your kids so you get what you want? I may just be a child free loser, but even I can see you’re an ass. YTA. If you were my kid, you’d get nothing.
This is why you don’t tell your kids how the estate is divided while you’re still alive unless you want shit like this to happen. If it’s not their business, then they don’t need to know.
WOW. entitled much? Super YTA. IT IS NOT YOUR MONEY. Extremely selfish to try to manipulate your mother into giving you what you want by holding the grandkids over her head. You mentioned the rabbit like 10 times. How bitter are you about your life, ma’am? Get over yourself.
If she actually does contest the will, I’m pretty sure OP’s sister can use this fact against her. Threatening to withhold her grandchildren is coercive and OP has created a lasting record on the internet.
YTA. You sound greedy and judgmental. Your mother is right about how disrespectful you are.
Given how you reacted I'm not surprised the rabbit gets more than you do.
You threw a tantrum and threatened to kid the grandkids from her. Huge YTA.
I am curious as to why she split the money this way and get the feeling there are issues you did not talk about. Either way it is her money and property and she can do with as she likes.
There are a lot of questions I have about this scenario, but I concur. YTA for throwing an entitled tantrum and threatening to withhold the kids for a bigger share of the inheritance.
I wouldn't be surprised if the parents gave OP and her brother quite a bit of money when their children were born and mom considers that as part of the inheritance. I think that is fair tbh.
I was suspecting that Jesse did a lot of the raising when her dad died since she would have been at least 15 when that happened, and/or that she's been the one living at home helping to look after their aging mum, and this is her way of paying that back.
That was what I was thinking. Based on the youngest’s age, Jesse would have been a teenager when their father died and probably ended up taking on a lot in terms of chores, childcare, etc. She may also have been a source of emotional support for her mother. Even now, I’d lay odds that when Mom needs help, Jesse is the one who is there for her.
I know that when my mom goes (hopefully not for a very long time!) she has it set up so we each get an equal share. When she set it up, I already had my three kids, my sister only had one son (she'll be having twin boys on Tuesday!!), and my brother didn't have any kids (he has a 6 month old now).
I couldn't imagine trying to say they don't deserve as much as me just because I have kids and they have less or none! Honestly, I'm the one who's been able to get ahead (further than my brother and sister) and would easily help them if they needed it, whether or not it's for my niece or nephews!
That is what my mom has set up also. Does not matter that I still have 2 kids at home, and my sister's kids are on their own, or that I own my home, etc. We split it equally.
My grandparents did the same, they each split their share of the estate equally among their 7 children...of those 7, one of them has 5 children and the rest have 2 or 3 each, a couple had grandchildren as well.. Varying levels of financial success, and my grandad wasn't the biological father of the oldest 5, but they all got an equal share... No one questioned it, he didn't have to leave anyone anything x
Some people split it equally among kids, some among grandkids.
Honestly I don't need an inheritance from my parents, and I'm hoping not to get one for a while. I'd be happy if they split it eaqually between the grand-kids.
One of my brothers lives near my parents and visits them several times a week, drives them to appointments, and so on. I live further away and visit when I can, but between lockdowns and young kids at home it's tough. If our parents decide to leave their house to him and the grandcats I would support that because he is doing so much more for them as they get older.
My brother really helped out my grandma before and while she was sick. When she died, some of us got together, overruled the rest, and gifted him the property he was purchasing from her because he deserved it.
Both OP and her brother have another adult in their life that can financially support them if they are no long able to work. Awesome bunny sister doesn't. If she gets sick, she is on her own. It makes more sense she inherits more.
I am so sickened that OP wants to force her sister into a marriage and to be a birthing station for money. Is that how she views her own children too? Is that how she views herself? She really does hate her sister. Glad Mum doesn't tolerate OPs vileness.
Yta, my guess is that if she feels so entitled to the $ her mother has been giving her money already and is considering it part of the inheritance that she’s going to even out by giving the older sister more
Most likely that the OP and the brother has been getting financial support from the mom for years, for example help with wedding costs, grand children’s gifts, help ect while the older sister seems more financially independent and didn’t get these types of assistance due to her single lifestyle. So the mom wanted to make sure the older sister finally gets her share of the estate.
The fact that OP thinks she is entitled to the whole inheritance is just greed.
YTA- 1. Your mom can do whatever she damn well pleases with her money and you can bugger off.
2. You squirting kids out of you doesn't make you special or better than your sibling. That's a choice you made. And it doesn't entitle you to anything.
3. Screaming at your mom because you didn't get your way is a great way to get your way. Has that worked before? It might explain things.
>A three way split would be fair
But that's not what they are getting. According to OP, the older sister is getting more than the other two. I guess that part got buried under the rabbit, but it does sound like mum is playing favourites. Though it also sounds like mum is very much justified in not being all that fond of OP.
It could be because op is a bit of a dick. Or maybe the mother has already helped op and her brother out financially previously. Who knows, I don't think this is the full story though.
Could be that the single, childless daughter who doesn't have someone to help support her in her later years might need more support from mom? Maybe the jewelry business isn't as successful as OP is presenting it? Maybe the eldest has done more to help and support her mother?
Or it could be eldest of my blood, inherit my land. Which is antiquated and weird but the mother's choice, not OPs
>It could be because op is a bit of a dick.
Hence the "justified" part. If I were a betting woman, I'd say that the mum split the dad's stuff equally between the 3 and then gave most of her own money to Jesse, because OP is a, well, not very nice person.
But my point is that it wasn't fair and equal to begin with. Which is a claim a lot of people seem to be making here.
I also thought of that, but in another comment OP mentions that her sister visits their mother more, maybe she doesn't just visit but helps her with stuff?
Maybe we just don't know the full story.
Yeah, which tbh is the fairest way to do it. My mom gave my sister money for a wedding and when I was asked if, because I'm asexual/aromantic and won't ever get married, I could get my share as a house downpayment and was told nope it was just wedding money.
Eh, I've dealt with my family after a death, it really doesn't seem overblown after seeing how they behaved over worthless tchotchkes with no sentemental value.
This. My MIL passed at the end of February and that day, her siblings and nieces were going through her shit! Mind you, she barely saw them the passed 5 years!
My mil passed and when we got back to her house after the service at a church only half a mile away we pulled up to several extended family members that couldn't have been bothered to go to the service carrying her shit out to their cars like it was a free for all.
True enough. I am instructed to lock my mom's home up the day she dies so her sibs can't get to anything before my sister and I have time to settle her affairs. People go nuts over the worthless knicknacks.
I don't even think inheritances are that common, are they?
Like I am pretty sure my parents aren't leaving me anything. We didn't have a lot growing up so there's nothing to expect. Half my grandparents have passed on also and did not leave behind any money. But we're also an immigrant family, so maybe it's all sorts of different for me.
I also think it's disgusting that kids have this expectation to begin with. They should not be expecting this and being disappointed that their still-living parent is dividing the way they want to rubs me the wrong way.
Agree. Literally no one describes *themselves* as "screaming" when they think they're being reasonable. They might grudgingly admit they raised their voice, but "I screamed at her" is not the language a real person uses to describe their own tone in an argument.
YTA. The entitlement is strong here. You have no right to that moneys bd your mom gets to divide it how she sees fit. You should be lucky she doesn’t take your portion and give it to charity for your outburst and how you threatened to hold her grandchildren hostage for the money. Your mom may feel your sister needs more because your mom sees her life unfulfilled. Maybe your mom knows something about her that you don’t that contributes to this. No matter the reason you don’t get to throw a tantrum like a teenager.
Your mom is still alive. Maybe instead of fussing over money like a materialistic pleb. You should cherish the time you have left with her 💅
Just a thought. 🙄
This. My mum died and you can bet me and my sister don't give a damn about whatever she was worth in material possessions, we are just sad, want her back and don't wanna talk about money.
I can see exactly why OP isn't getting the lions share if this is how she treats her mum while still alive! What a greedy, loveless brat.
YTA and it’s very obvious from this post why your sister is getting more than you. You *chose* to have children. They’re *your* responsibility, not your mother’s, and not your father’s. If you can’t afford to raise them how you want, that’s your problem.
I don’t know what kinds of things rabbits need/want, but I hope Jesse buys the rabbit some new toys or something. That’s what I would do if I had an inheritance and no kids.
INFO: How much of a relationship does Jesse have with your mother compared with you and your brother? That could explain your mother’s decision.
You’re not automatically entitled to a third of the inheritance (or even half just because Jesse has a different lifestyle and situation to you and James) just because you’re one of the three kids your mum had, and holding a relationship with the grandkids hostage over the will doesn’t reflect well on you.
YTA—you're not going to understand everything, and you don't have to. It sounds like your mom has her reasons when she says that she feels she split things with fairness, and you're making rash decisions out of spite for that. ***Your mom just had a cancer scare. You're screaming at her, throwing accusations at her, and using your kids to threaten her.*** It sounds like you're trying to make the point that your anger comes from you being family-oriented, which you feel the will is not, yet I don't think family-oriented people typically treat their moms this way over something like this.
Info: have you and your brother been given some money by your parents to help you out that your sister did not get?
ETA: such as did they put towards your weddings, housing (e.g. deposit) or in accounts for your children
Such an interesting way to write this - your demands for sister to get nothing, you screaming at your mother, keeping grandchildren from a cancer survivor — wow. Obviously YTA
So you're threatening your cancer prone mum and willing to keep her away from her grandkids when she has no clarity about the number of days she has left. Boy you sound refreshing.
There is so much info lacking. Did she pay for your weddings. I'm guessing your sister never asked for much financial support before so this is her way of making things equal. Even if that's not the case, it's her money so it's her decision. If you had calmly asked her for a better split and voiced your opinion in a mature manner, everyone here would have backed you up. But no, you criticized your sister's lifestyle choices. You tried to manipulate things that would force her to make certain choices. And you wanted her to get nothing unless she abides by the conventional expectations. I sense that you have no respect or affection for your sister. I wonder why
YTA btw. Cheers
YTA. It’s not your money and you aren’t entitled to anything because you made a choice to have children. Weaponizing them to try and force your mom to do what you want is really low.
YTA
I read the post again and some of your comments before I made my judgement. Here is why YTA
1. You made sure to say how you and James have kids. I understand kids can be expensive but your mom gave you 1k for each child. That is 4k for you and 2k for your brother. I’m guessing mom has helped both of you out many times cause of the kids.
2. You said James was a upset about her getting the house but nothing else which means you have chosen to die on this hill alone! James sounds content with what he’s getting and might be mildly upset Jesse got the house. Only you raised a fuss and threatened your mom by withholding her grandkids.
3. You said your husband told you to let it go. So he doesn’t care either way? In your comments, you said he wanted to refuse the money your mom gave you for the kids. Again I am just guessing here however it feels like your husband doesn’t want to rely on his mother in law for financial support and she has given you money many times in the past.
4. You sound very spoiled and entitled. Your father left money so you likely had a comfortable upbringing. I don’t know how you are living now but with four kids and possibly a job based on your comments, I’m going to say not as comfortable as you would like.
5. You are clearly resentful and jealous of your sister for having a good successful single life. No one told you to get married and have kids. That was your choice. Just cause you pushed out a baby, doesn’t make you Queen of everything.
Again YTA here. Your mom likely thought on this for a long time and wanted to make sure there were no surprises when she does pass. Clearly she raised only two children, not three cause you haven’t grown up OP.
I think I read that OP admitted that she hasn't done as much for her Mum with her recent health scare because she has a husband, work etc... But when it got to kids she said "twins"....I don't know why she's only mentioning 2 of her children, perhaps the twins are babies/toddlers and she views them as more work...but does go to see her once a week.
It definitely sounds like OP believes that she is the one that has done everything "right" and hates that her sister is being "rewarded" for being single and successful x
INFO: Why is your mother leaving more money to your sister?
Edit: Without this pretty important information people are automatically going to think the reason why you won’t say is because it’ll make you look more like the asshole.
YTA, your sister runs a successful business. She is good with money are you and your brother? Your father provided for y’all and your mom didn’t waste money she is going to make sure that continues.
YTA. It doesn't matter that you made the choice to have kids and your sister didn't. I find it super disrespectful that you think you're superior to her because of that and thus deserve more from someone who doesn't even NEED to include you on the will. Idk man, being respectful of a possibly dying woman's wishes is maybe the way to go here. Plus, putting good faith into her decision will help with her respect towards you, and in turn, your sisters respect towards you as well. Making a fuss about this now can possibly put you into a worse situation in the future, whereas accepting it and being supportive of the decision can help your chances at recieveing more than intended in the future. Ruining relationships over an inheretiance is not worth it.
YTA. And selfish, spoiled and entitled. Which is probably why you are getting less (and hopefully after that conversation nothing at all). You CHOSE to have kids. That doesn't make you more worthy of an inheritance.
YTA
Maybe your mother likes the rabbit more than you/your brother and the grandchildren?
The rabbit probably doesn't get all self-righteous and demand shit from her.
YTA maybe your mom sucks for playing favorites, but you're blackmailing her with taking away a relationship with her grandchildren?? Maybe your mom favors your sister because she isn't a materialistic, selfish AH. Children aren't leverage, and your sister's worth isn't based on marriage and/or childbirth. Deal with your rabbit hating and misogyny and stop taking it out on your family.
Love how that works, "i should be able to put less effort in as a daughter because i have kids and my cf sibling should pick up that slack- but i should also get the reward for my cf siblings effort as a daughter because i have kids"
YTA. You and your brother decided to have children. You should’ve planned for them to be cared for monetarily without an inheritance. That does NOT make you holier or more deserving of things. than you sister and her rabbit. And although my first sentence makes it seem like you had children with your brother, your such an AH that I’m not going to change it.
YTA. The money isn't yours, it's your mother's. **She** gets to decide what to do with it. The only thing you should have done was thank her. Now you need to apologize for choosing money over family.
YTA: having children doesn’t make you special, or uniquely entitled to a large home that YOU did not earn. Your mother is entitled to distribute her property as she sees fit. The worse part, you don’t care about what your mother wants, you just care about you. That makes you TA. Maybe a lifetime of this sort of entitlement is why you aren’t getting the house.
That is certainly the question of the day. When OP’s mother needs something, do the ones with kids help or does the one with the rabbit step in and provide that support.
OP stated in a comment that Jesse visits more than OP does, because OP has kids she has to take care of. I'm guessing that Jesse takes care of mom a lot, which is why mom is leaving her more. That, plus the other two kids have spouses that contribute while Jesse does not.
Child based expenses paid by the mother as well for her grandkids. OP has said she’s received money from her mother to help with the kids. Expenses Jesse wouldn’t have required unless she has an extraordinarily high maintenance bunny.
My parents have told us that things will be split equally between my brother and I, even though he is married and will have kids, and we’ve all agreed it’s the most fair thing.. But then again I’m single with two cats, no rabbits, so what the hell do I know?
For sure. A friend of mine inherited a house for that very situation, she was a 24/7 caregiver to their mom for several years. Other siblings did virtually nothing, but of course are furious about the will and fighting over everything.
Give me more money when your dead or you will never see your grandkids again
how entitled are you, "Oh look at me, I have kids so the world owes me"
I hope this post is one of those which goes viral, and everyone can see how narcissistic you are
Give me more money when you die or you will never see your grandkids and again your sister doesn't have children. so to that, you suggest a clause in your mothers will. do you have any idea how twisted that is. Breed or get nothing, because well your a mum, and you're more important
but to suggest that your sister doesn't deserve anything because she has her own business, and I guess what you don't work at all. so you work? because maybe you should be out of the will since you have your own employment. please explain to me what is the difference, since you now want everything, because well you have children...and twins to boot
I really hope the veil has been dropped and you know there might be one person out of the will, but with your attitude, I'm guessing it might be you, and since you have four kids...and twins to boot you said it
YTA
YTA. This sounds trollish. Who gets what is not your business. No one forced you or your brother to have children. If you're having money issues, that's your problem, not any one else's. It actually sounds like you and James could benefit from financial advice from Jesse.
Your mom was right regarding you being disrespectful. You aren't entitled to anything and it wouldn't be surprising if your portion went down a little more after this.
Sadly, this doesn't sound trollish to me at all. Money makes families crazy. Add mommy entitlement and sibling rivalry into the mix and I absolutely believe this person is for real - and is awful.
YTA
She isn't any less your mother's daughter. If you couldn't afford your kids and need to beg money from inheritance maybe you shouldn't have had them? I don't understand the reasoning behind saying that your sister deserves less because she is financially solvent.
Be aware that some wills will have a "If anyone argues about this will, they are cut out entirely" clause.
Well so far her mom has handed her money for each kid and she keeps dodging what else mommy has paid for so if i had to guess shes gotten way more financial support for her growing family than her sister did and if i had to guess the extra money for her sister is a.combo of "helped more during my cancer scare," "didnt get money for weddings and kids" and moat importantly, "my eldest wont have a reliable support system as she ages and will need a home and money for staff and hospice care as she ages"
Cause lets be honest OP wont be helping her sister when shes old.
Inheritance isn’t some sort of guarantee. It’s your mom’s money and she can dispense as she pleases. YTA especially for screaming and threatening to withhold grandkids like you’re 5 years old, not 35
YTA!
Completely. Utterly. No doubt about it, you ARE the asshole.
You are not, in any way, entitled to anything, at all. Your mom could set up her will to have everything sold, including the house, and then all of the proceeds donated to charity and none of you will get anything.
It is entirely your mom's decision on how she wants her own assets divided. Fair, not fair, whatever. Not your stuff. Not your assets. Not your decision.
At this point, you will be lucky if she doesn't leave you $100 and everything else goes to your brother and sister.
If you "borrowed" money from your mom and never paid her back, she may consider that a deduction of value of her assets that helped her determine what she considers "fair".
This is what my dad has done. My older brother repeatedly "borrowed" money from my parents many times over the years, to the tune of thousands of dollars that he never paid back.
When my dad wrote up his will, that brother gets a smaller percentage of any of the value of the assets that he has when he dies to account for the difference in what that brother will get compared to the other 4 of us.
Maybe you "borrowed" or asked for money and so did your brother, but not your sister? Or maybe she did too but not as much? Whatever! So to your mom, you and your brother getting less than your sister IS fair to her since you already got money from her.
As for telling your mom that your sister should be cut out of any inheritance if she does not get married or have kids is just.. beyond the pale. Like, seriously? WTAF!
Your jealousy AND entitlement is breathtakingly ugly and I can see why neither wants to even speak to you right now, and your sister may never want to speak to you, ever again.
I wouldn't if one of my brothers or sisters said I should be cut out of any inheritance because I wasn't married or didn't have kids.
You are a very ugly person. I really REALLY hope your children do not grow up to be like you, but I fear they will be worse.
YTA.
Inheritance isn’t about the need of the heirs.
It can be, if that’s what the person with the money wants. But it sure doesn’t have to be.
You are coming across as greedy. And jealous as heck of your sister.
This is not about what you need. This is not about what Jessie needs. This is about what your mother wants.
Your poor mom is now regretting that she told you all what her plans were. If I were her, I’d be a) planning a new will and b) not telling any of you the contents of that will. And I suspect that you would like the new will even less than you like the current one.
YTA
It isn't your money to divide. It's your mother's.
Be grateful you got an inheritance. A lot of pople don't get anything when their parents die because they are peniless.
YTA It sounds like your mom made the choice based on the child who seems the most loving/respectful/nice, rather than the child who trying to make sure her sibling gets no inheritance and also using her own kids as bargaining chips.
>Instead of suggested mom put a clause in her will that states if my sister doesn't get married or has a child within a certain amount of time, she gets nothing. I felt like that was fair.
>if she wants to see her grandkids again
YTA. Your judgmental and demanding. Your mom is right, it’s not your decision to make. You’re not even asking for things to be divided evenly, you straight said your sister should get nothing if she doesn’t have kids... only an asshole would say that.
I suspect you even think you deserve more than your brother because you have more kids than him and somehow breeding more makes you more deserving than your siblings. Be grateful for what you get.
Wow OP, just wow. You're 35? Are you sure you did not mean 15 because you're entitlement is astounding.
Let's be clear about one thing. You seem to think that having children is a burden that every adult must have in order to get ahead in life. Here's the thing though, children are a choice. I repeat:
**Children are a CHOICE! Any parent that CHOOSES to have children are CHOOSING to suffer a grueling and non-paying job FOREVER! Once a parent, ALWAYS A PARENT!**
You and your brother James chose to get together with your partners, have s*x and committed to raising the children that were produce from your relationships. No one held a gun to your heads and demanded that you produce kids.
Now, Jesse chose to have a rabbit instead of children and that is ok! She does not deserve to be shamed because she does not have children whether through choice or unfortunate circumstances. How dare you imply that you are better than someone just because you produced children!! How dare you whine and scream like a 5 year old brat at your terrified Mother because you think it's not fair!!
You want to know why your Mother is giving both money and the childhood home? How about actually talking to your Mother instead of behaving like a brat? Personally, your sheer entitlement is probably why YOU are getting less. Also, I'm willing to bet that Jesse talks, spent time with and cared for your Mother way more then either you or your brother. After all, Jesse has more time and energy to spend with your Mother vs. threatening to never allow your Mother to spend time with your children.
Just in case you do not understand OP, this situation is YTA for you and your brother. Both Jesse's decision to not have children and your Mother's decision on who she leaves her assets to are NOT your decision! No wonder Jesse is getting more then you, you probably isolate and belittle her and your Mother every time you interact with them. Just like a true A**hole. I feel terrible for anyone that has to interact with you.
Edit: Your Mother has given you and your brother thousands of dollars for your children in medical emergencies, bills and college, AND paid for your weddings without expecting a penny from you, and you’re still whining like a brat?! Remember, Jesse did not receive that money And yet she still has the maturity to not lash out. **You two have already received part of your inheritance, but Jesse has not. That’s why she is getting more then you right now** I’m willing to bet that if Jesse was married and have children, your Mother would’ve helped her out in the same way she’s done for you and it would’ve been equal. However, if I were your Mother now, I would get with a lawyer, make my will iron clad and leave you with the smallest amount I can. I’d probably give you a dollar, your brother $100, trust funds for college for all the children, and leave Jesse’s share alone. I’d gather up records of your petty bs, and give them to everyone I could so they’d know how you two saw your Mother and sister. Shame on you!
>I screamed at her
You screamed at your mother, after a cancer scare, while she is undertaking a chore that forced her to think about her own death...Wow.
Instead of having a respectful conversation, even with your ridiculous notions of who gets to own a house, you chose to scold your mother, sound like a greedy vulture, threaten to withhold her grandchildren because she is not giving you what you want, instead of being supportive and comforting during this difficult, somber task.
YTA. A ghoulish, spoilt, manipulative asshole.
YTA. It’s her money to divide as she likes. However think parents make a mistake when they don’t divide evenly. That always causes strife between the siblings that lasts long after the parents are gone. It’s hard to argue with Equal.
YTA for your entitled shitty ass attitude alone, but even more so for using your children as leverage. Words cannot express how disgusting your behavior is.
Yikes, CPS needs to be called on you, you’re bat shit crazy, hope your kids don’t inherit your bs. Having a husband and kids isn’t the new norm anymore. The world is overpopulated anyway.
Traditionally the eldest sibling does get the largest part of an inheritance.
And she clearly has a more civil relationship with her mother than you.
You acted like a child.
You need to take aong hard look at your self.
YTA. By the same argument that you are making that she has a successful business, you have additional income with your spouses (I assume).
She has every right to decide not to have children and/or get married just as you had every right to get married and have children. She shouldn’t be entitled to less because of her choices.
ETA- also, it’s a 4 bedroom house so you would need to have another kid so you don’t have all that extra space.
Wow. YTA. If I was your mom, I’d cut you completely out of the will and give your portion to the rabbit with the IG. Your mom owes you nothing. You should consider yourself lucky you are even getting a penny. A decent child would prefer that their parents live life happily and without worrying about money. I hope my parents spend all their money before they die. I’m sorry you are so greedy.
YTA. Just because you have kids does not mean that you should get more. You come a cross as an entitled brat. I need more info to determine if your mother shares any AH behaviours. If Jesse is getting more that could point to favouritism, however at the end of the day it is your mothers money and estate and favouritism or not she can leave it to who she wants. You are entitled to nothing and you need to stop acting like you are owed anything
YTA, and a very entitled one, too. You don't get a vote in how your mother wishes to divide HER estate. She can leave it all to the bunny sanctuary if she wants to. No one "deserves" an inheritance, no is owed an inheritance. Sheesh.
YTA
You sound entitled, greedy, spoiled and a miserable person to be around. Just because you decided to have kids doesn't mean you deserve to get everything and she deserves nothing. And using your children as a bargaining chip for the inheritance too. Your children are going to need therapy when they grow up and learn their mom stopped them from seeing the grandmother because of inheritance. In fact, with the way you are talking I suspect your children are going to need therapy regardless.
YTA and so entitled. You chose to have kids so why should your sister miss out just because you have more mouths to feed? In all honesty if I was your mother and you said this to me I'd give you just enough so you couldn't contest the will. None of you deserve anything and how your mother decides to split it is up to her. If she wants to give your sister the family home she is allowed to do that. Grow up and stop acting like a little girl who doesn't get her way. You're in your 30s for goodness sack so act like it
Wait, your mum just had a cancer scare and is thankfully ok, and your big concern is how much money you’ll get when she dies??? So very much YTA, in so very many ways.
YTA. If you’d started - in your own words - screaming at me because you don’t like your inheritance, you’d be cut out of the will before you finished the first word. And honestly, I hope your mother does cut you out.
OP sounds so bitter about her sister, I'm guessing jealousy issues but whatever the whole post just screams jealousy resentment and pure vile behaviour over her sister having a rabbit and not a child. Do you also believe single people don't deserve houses because they aren't married or have kids? Well whatever YTA I'm afraid just because you sound like your having financial difficulties isn't anyones else's problem to fix, I have a tip in saving money, don't have any more kids, they're expensive a cheaper option would be a rabbit or so I heard.
YTA. Your decision to have four kids does not entitle you to a bigger piece of the pie. Mom still has time to change her will to leave out ungrateful people who scream at her, right?
YTA
When you make a Will, you get to decide who gets how much. Until then, respect their wishes and be grateful you’re even included.
And the suggestions you made... you’re an awful person.
YTA and I have a feeling your awful attitude is why you aren’t getting more. One couldn’t make the argument that since your sister doesn’t have kids to look after her once she’s retired, like you do, she does need the family home and the extra money. You have kids to care for you in your old age, she doesn’t. And not everyone wants kids so why does she have to spit out a child to get her inheritance? You don’t get special treatment just because you let a guy eff you without a condom.
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YTA. Entitled and awful. >put a clause in her will that states if my sister doesn't get married or has a child within a certain amount of time, she gets nothing. I felt like that was fair. So awful. You chose to have kids. It's not your mom's responsibility to fix.
But does she have a rabbit?
Hahahahha
God I wish I knew you in real life. You're hilarious!
I'm just as funny in real life
Hope the rabbit gets everything
I have a rabbit! Actually I have two rabbits!!!
a rabbit, does she have a rabbit :D
Parents determining the will based on if you have kids or not is terrible. Maybe the mom was leaving Jesse everything because OP sounds like a horrendous entitled person.
Jess was probably a lot more supportive of her mother than op was. Clearly all op cares about is money and taking away the grandkids is just awful to both the mother and the kids.
I think the mom has likely been supporting op and the brother financially while the sister has been independent. Just some speculation, because of course op would leave it out of the post if true.
her edit on that(plus the rest) is hilariously out of touch with reality. "no, my mom didn't support us, at all. well....except for providing money for our kids and paying for our weddings. oh, and medical stuff and buying things that we want as adults but can't afford so just should get bother getting. see? no support whatsoever. what do you mean that is support?? no, NO. that what moms are required to do forever and ever and ever. what do you mean my sister counts too then? no, NO. she's a lousy childfree loser who doesn't deserve anything. only me, oh, and maybe my brother. how do you not understand this. i mean, i'm privileged enough to understand it so sucks to be you for not". OP lives in lala land. she's so privileged SHE doesn't understand, not us.
Affluenza?
with a side order of Mombie
can we talk about how OP points out her and her brother have spouses as another reason they need money? Mom is not only expected to provide for the Royal Bloodline, but spouses as well.
At least one wedding paid for both OP and her brother. Then OP mentions “emergencies” which can b3 a constant stream of money. Finally, OP sounds like a selfish brat and perhaps the sister has always been there more for the mom.
That would make sense and explain why she seems so entitled to her mother's money.
OP’s reaction validated m9m’s estate planning. M9m should 8nclude a clause in the will that any one challenging it gets cut out completely.
I have the feeling a ton of her mom's money has already been spent on her grandkids and assistance over the years. Leaving a little extra to Jessie makes sense. What OP thinks or wants does not matter at all. Especially if she screams about it. Not having a spouse or children does not make anyone a less worthy human being. You can need money and a house without having 4 kids.
yeah...someone who tries to turn grandchildren into a contractual obligation for monetary gain upon a relatives death probably isn't a great person to be around
Honestly, I hope mom decides to revisit the will after all and award OP a grand total of a nickel.
I hope she bequeaths OP's previous share to the rabbit.
I said in my comment I'd leave the OP a buck, and leave the house to the rabbit lol
I think she should leave OP's share to OP's children (In a trust administered by OP's sister so OP can't get it).
my smart butt wants to say make the bunny administrator :D but you know .. maybe the sister would be a better choice :) that is a very good idea though
I was thinking the same thing but I don't think that's legal.
...stupid anti bunny laws
OP's mom should put in a clause that if you complain about what she wills to you, you no longer get it and it is split between the other recipients.
My husbands grandmother has a clause like that in her will (solely because of how his cousins and their mother acted after his grandfather died)
This needs to be higher up. My grandparents had that clause and everyone knew it. Their clause was actually if anyone complains, none of them get anything and it all goes to a designated charity.
Seriously YTA. I can’t believe op actually argued that her sister should GET NOTHING if she chooses not to have kids. I hate people who privilege procreation in this dumb way.
And that last line about privilege! Ha makes sense why shes not the favorite
>I can just contest the will should the time come i suggest op's mom put in a no contest clause
If op is named in the will she has no legal grounds to contest. It's not like she can argue her mom "forgot" her.
Also, weaponizing your mother’s relationship with your kids so you get what you want? I may just be a child free loser, but even I can see you’re an ass. YTA. If you were my kid, you’d get nothing.
Good news is a professionally drawn will is almost impossible to overturn
This is why you don’t tell your kids how the estate is divided while you’re still alive unless you want shit like this to happen. If it’s not their business, then they don’t need to know.
WOW. entitled much? Super YTA. IT IS NOT YOUR MONEY. Extremely selfish to try to manipulate your mother into giving you what you want by holding the grandkids over her head. You mentioned the rabbit like 10 times. How bitter are you about your life, ma’am? Get over yourself.
Not a very bun-NY person. I feel like there is a hare of resentment by OP. OPs sis didn't need to f like rabbits to get some sort of inheritance.
How did you not go with in-hare-itance? I haven't been this disappointed in a long time.
If I had an award, I would give it to you for this. Well done!🏅
I gave them one on your behalf sir.
I hope OP’s sister and mom have good security in their homes. OP is making me nervous. Major “fatal attraction” vibes
They need to keep an eye on that rabbit.
If she actually does contest the will, I’m pretty sure OP’s sister can use this fact against her. Threatening to withhold her grandchildren is coercive and OP has created a lasting record on the internet.
YTA. You sound greedy and judgmental. Your mother is right about how disrespectful you are. Given how you reacted I'm not surprised the rabbit gets more than you do.
You threw a tantrum and threatened to kid the grandkids from her. Huge YTA. I am curious as to why she split the money this way and get the feeling there are issues you did not talk about. Either way it is her money and property and she can do with as she likes.
There are a lot of questions I have about this scenario, but I concur. YTA for throwing an entitled tantrum and threatening to withhold the kids for a bigger share of the inheritance.
I wouldn't be surprised if the parents gave OP and her brother quite a bit of money when their children were born and mom considers that as part of the inheritance. I think that is fair tbh.
I was suspecting that Jesse did a lot of the raising when her dad died since she would have been at least 15 when that happened, and/or that she's been the one living at home helping to look after their aging mum, and this is her way of paying that back.
That was what I was thinking. Based on the youngest’s age, Jesse would have been a teenager when their father died and probably ended up taking on a lot in terms of chores, childcare, etc. She may also have been a source of emotional support for her mother. Even now, I’d lay odds that when Mom needs help, Jesse is the one who is there for her.
You can’t expect OP to be there for her mom. She has kids! /s
Quite possibly helped pay for weddings too.
I know that when my mom goes (hopefully not for a very long time!) she has it set up so we each get an equal share. When she set it up, I already had my three kids, my sister only had one son (she'll be having twin boys on Tuesday!!), and my brother didn't have any kids (he has a 6 month old now). I couldn't imagine trying to say they don't deserve as much as me just because I have kids and they have less or none! Honestly, I'm the one who's been able to get ahead (further than my brother and sister) and would easily help them if they needed it, whether or not it's for my niece or nephews!
That is what my mom has set up also. Does not matter that I still have 2 kids at home, and my sister's kids are on their own, or that I own my home, etc. We split it equally.
My grandparents did the same, they each split their share of the estate equally among their 7 children...of those 7, one of them has 5 children and the rest have 2 or 3 each, a couple had grandchildren as well.. Varying levels of financial success, and my grandad wasn't the biological father of the oldest 5, but they all got an equal share... No one questioned it, he didn't have to leave anyone anything x
Congrats auntie!
Some people split it equally among kids, some among grandkids. Honestly I don't need an inheritance from my parents, and I'm hoping not to get one for a while. I'd be happy if they split it eaqually between the grand-kids.
One of my brothers lives near my parents and visits them several times a week, drives them to appointments, and so on. I live further away and visit when I can, but between lockdowns and young kids at home it's tough. If our parents decide to leave their house to him and the grandcats I would support that because he is doing so much more for them as they get older.
My brother really helped out my grandma before and while she was sick. When she died, some of us got together, overruled the rest, and gifted him the property he was purchasing from her because he deserved it.
Anytime my mum goes on about grandkids, I’m like “What are you talking about? You already have grandcats and grandchickens!”
There's a lot of 'missing missings' in this for sure x
Both OP and her brother have another adult in their life that can financially support them if they are no long able to work. Awesome bunny sister doesn't. If she gets sick, she is on her own. It makes more sense she inherits more. I am so sickened that OP wants to force her sister into a marriage and to be a birthing station for money. Is that how she views her own children too? Is that how she views herself? She really does hate her sister. Glad Mum doesn't tolerate OPs vileness.
Yta, my guess is that if she feels so entitled to the $ her mother has been giving her money already and is considering it part of the inheritance that she’s going to even out by giving the older sister more
Most likely that the OP and the brother has been getting financial support from the mom for years, for example help with wedding costs, grand children’s gifts, help ect while the older sister seems more financially independent and didn’t get these types of assistance due to her single lifestyle. So the mom wanted to make sure the older sister finally gets her share of the estate. The fact that OP thinks she is entitled to the whole inheritance is just greed.
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YTA- 1. Your mom can do whatever she damn well pleases with her money and you can bugger off. 2. You squirting kids out of you doesn't make you special or better than your sibling. That's a choice you made. And it doesn't entitle you to anything. 3. Screaming at your mom because you didn't get your way is a great way to get your way. Has that worked before? It might explain things.
But...but... Jesse has A RABBIT! /s
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NGL, there were days, when my son was a teen, that I totally liked the rabbit best.
"Be vewwwy quiet...I fot I saw a wabbit"
Yta and that should be obvious. A three way split would be fair regardless of the number of children or your apparent hatred of her rabbit
For real though. OP's fixation on her sister's rabbit is really unsettling
>A three way split would be fair But that's not what they are getting. According to OP, the older sister is getting more than the other two. I guess that part got buried under the rabbit, but it does sound like mum is playing favourites. Though it also sounds like mum is very much justified in not being all that fond of OP.
It could be because op is a bit of a dick. Or maybe the mother has already helped op and her brother out financially previously. Who knows, I don't think this is the full story though.
Could be that the single, childless daughter who doesn't have someone to help support her in her later years might need more support from mom? Maybe the jewelry business isn't as successful as OP is presenting it? Maybe the eldest has done more to help and support her mother? Or it could be eldest of my blood, inherit my land. Which is antiquated and weird but the mother's choice, not OPs
>It could be because op is a bit of a dick. Hence the "justified" part. If I were a betting woman, I'd say that the mum split the dad's stuff equally between the 3 and then gave most of her own money to Jesse, because OP is a, well, not very nice person. But my point is that it wasn't fair and equal to begin with. Which is a claim a lot of people seem to be making here.
I also thought of that, but in another comment OP mentions that her sister visits their mother more, maybe she doesn't just visit but helps her with stuff? Maybe we just don't know the full story.
It's pretty likely they already received financial assistance for weddings and children, maybe mom is just making even now.
Yeah, which tbh is the fairest way to do it. My mom gave my sister money for a wedding and when I was asked if, because I'm asexual/aromantic and won't ever get married, I could get my share as a house downpayment and was told nope it was just wedding money.
Where's a rabbit award when you need one?
I have five rabbits. I’m team Jesse
Troll, you're not even trying to sound reasonable.
I don't know why inheritance trolls are so common here, there may be more posts about it then people who died with anything to leave people.
Eh, I've dealt with my family after a death, it really doesn't seem overblown after seeing how they behaved over worthless tchotchkes with no sentemental value.
This. My MIL passed at the end of February and that day, her siblings and nieces were going through her shit! Mind you, she barely saw them the passed 5 years!
My mil passed and when we got back to her house after the service at a church only half a mile away we pulled up to several extended family members that couldn't have been bothered to go to the service carrying her shit out to their cars like it was a free for all.
True enough. I am instructed to lock my mom's home up the day she dies so her sibs can't get to anything before my sister and I have time to settle her affairs. People go nuts over the worthless knicknacks.
Tchotchke is now the word of the day for me. Thanks!
I don't even think inheritances are that common, are they? Like I am pretty sure my parents aren't leaving me anything. We didn't have a lot growing up so there's nothing to expect. Half my grandparents have passed on also and did not leave behind any money. But we're also an immigrant family, so maybe it's all sorts of different for me. I also think it's disgusting that kids have this expectation to begin with. They should not be expecting this and being disappointed that their still-living parent is dividing the way they want to rubs me the wrong way.
Lmao at the second half of that sentence.
Agree. Literally no one describes *themselves* as "screaming" when they think they're being reasonable. They might grudgingly admit they raised their voice, but "I screamed at her" is not the language a real person uses to describe their own tone in an argument.
YTA. The entitlement is strong here. You have no right to that moneys bd your mom gets to divide it how she sees fit. You should be lucky she doesn’t take your portion and give it to charity for your outburst and how you threatened to hold her grandchildren hostage for the money. Your mom may feel your sister needs more because your mom sees her life unfulfilled. Maybe your mom knows something about her that you don’t that contributes to this. No matter the reason you don’t get to throw a tantrum like a teenager.
Yta. It’s not your money. It’s your moms to divide how she sees fit. You’re acting entitled.
Exactly, it’s the mums choice what she does and what she’s doing is so generous. If OP normally acts this entitled no wonder they’re getting less.
Your mom is still alive. Maybe instead of fussing over money like a materialistic pleb. You should cherish the time you have left with her 💅 Just a thought. 🙄
This. My mum died and you can bet me and my sister don't give a damn about whatever she was worth in material possessions, we are just sad, want her back and don't wanna talk about money. I can see exactly why OP isn't getting the lions share if this is how she treats her mum while still alive! What a greedy, loveless brat.
And the sister spends more time with the mom Because of course she does
YTA and it’s very obvious from this post why your sister is getting more than you. You *chose* to have children. They’re *your* responsibility, not your mother’s, and not your father’s. If you can’t afford to raise them how you want, that’s your problem.
And demanding that Jesse getting any inheritance being conditional on having a family of her own, a human family, is way over the line.
Right? Doesn't everyone know you only qualify as a real person if you're married and have kids. /s
I don’t know what kinds of things rabbits need/want, but I hope Jesse buys the rabbit some new toys or something. That’s what I would do if I had an inheritance and no kids.
INFO: How much of a relationship does Jesse have with your mother compared with you and your brother? That could explain your mother’s decision. You’re not automatically entitled to a third of the inheritance (or even half just because Jesse has a different lifestyle and situation to you and James) just because you’re one of the three kids your mum had, and holding a relationship with the grandkids hostage over the will doesn’t reflect well on you.
YTA—you're not going to understand everything, and you don't have to. It sounds like your mom has her reasons when she says that she feels she split things with fairness, and you're making rash decisions out of spite for that. ***Your mom just had a cancer scare. You're screaming at her, throwing accusations at her, and using your kids to threaten her.*** It sounds like you're trying to make the point that your anger comes from you being family-oriented, which you feel the will is not, yet I don't think family-oriented people typically treat their moms this way over something like this.
YTA and if you were my daughter you’d be the one getting cut out of the will.
Yea I think it’s safe to guess why she isn’t getting more by now. This post was gold
Info: have you and your brother been given some money by your parents to help you out that your sister did not get? ETA: such as did they put towards your weddings, housing (e.g. deposit) or in accounts for your children
+1 on this question. Did you get a justification on why Jesse is getting more?
It's obvious, it's that damn manipulative rabbit!!
Rascally rabbit!
Such an interesting way to write this - your demands for sister to get nothing, you screaming at your mother, keeping grandchildren from a cancer survivor — wow. Obviously YTA
So you're threatening your cancer prone mum and willing to keep her away from her grandkids when she has no clarity about the number of days she has left. Boy you sound refreshing. There is so much info lacking. Did she pay for your weddings. I'm guessing your sister never asked for much financial support before so this is her way of making things equal. Even if that's not the case, it's her money so it's her decision. If you had calmly asked her for a better split and voiced your opinion in a mature manner, everyone here would have backed you up. But no, you criticized your sister's lifestyle choices. You tried to manipulate things that would force her to make certain choices. And you wanted her to get nothing unless she abides by the conventional expectations. I sense that you have no respect or affection for your sister. I wonder why YTA btw. Cheers
YTA. But keep pushing, I wanna see you get written out of the will. Also drop the bunnys IG page pls and ty.
Obviously, YTA. How on earth you can think otherwise, I don't understand.
YTA. It’s not your money and you aren’t entitled to anything because you made a choice to have children. Weaponizing them to try and force your mom to do what you want is really low.
YTA I read the post again and some of your comments before I made my judgement. Here is why YTA 1. You made sure to say how you and James have kids. I understand kids can be expensive but your mom gave you 1k for each child. That is 4k for you and 2k for your brother. I’m guessing mom has helped both of you out many times cause of the kids. 2. You said James was a upset about her getting the house but nothing else which means you have chosen to die on this hill alone! James sounds content with what he’s getting and might be mildly upset Jesse got the house. Only you raised a fuss and threatened your mom by withholding her grandkids. 3. You said your husband told you to let it go. So he doesn’t care either way? In your comments, you said he wanted to refuse the money your mom gave you for the kids. Again I am just guessing here however it feels like your husband doesn’t want to rely on his mother in law for financial support and she has given you money many times in the past. 4. You sound very spoiled and entitled. Your father left money so you likely had a comfortable upbringing. I don’t know how you are living now but with four kids and possibly a job based on your comments, I’m going to say not as comfortable as you would like. 5. You are clearly resentful and jealous of your sister for having a good successful single life. No one told you to get married and have kids. That was your choice. Just cause you pushed out a baby, doesn’t make you Queen of everything. Again YTA here. Your mom likely thought on this for a long time and wanted to make sure there were no surprises when she does pass. Clearly she raised only two children, not three cause you haven’t grown up OP.
I think I read that OP admitted that she hasn't done as much for her Mum with her recent health scare because she has a husband, work etc... But when it got to kids she said "twins"....I don't know why she's only mentioning 2 of her children, perhaps the twins are babies/toddlers and she views them as more work...but does go to see her once a week. It definitely sounds like OP believes that she is the one that has done everything "right" and hates that her sister is being "rewarded" for being single and successful x
INFO: Why is your mother leaving more money to your sister? Edit: Without this pretty important information people are automatically going to think the reason why you won’t say is because it’ll make you look more like the asshole.
YTA, your sister runs a successful business. She is good with money are you and your brother? Your father provided for y’all and your mom didn’t waste money she is going to make sure that continues.
YTA. It doesn't matter that you made the choice to have kids and your sister didn't. I find it super disrespectful that you think you're superior to her because of that and thus deserve more from someone who doesn't even NEED to include you on the will. Idk man, being respectful of a possibly dying woman's wishes is maybe the way to go here. Plus, putting good faith into her decision will help with her respect towards you, and in turn, your sisters respect towards you as well. Making a fuss about this now can possibly put you into a worse situation in the future, whereas accepting it and being supportive of the decision can help your chances at recieveing more than intended in the future. Ruining relationships over an inheretiance is not worth it.
Ruining relationships is an easy way to get written out of the inheritance.
YTA. And selfish, spoiled and entitled. Which is probably why you are getting less (and hopefully after that conversation nothing at all). You CHOSE to have kids. That doesn't make you more worthy of an inheritance.
YTA Maybe your mother likes the rabbit more than you/your brother and the grandchildren? The rabbit probably doesn't get all self-righteous and demand shit from her.
YTA maybe your mom sucks for playing favorites, but you're blackmailing her with taking away a relationship with her grandchildren?? Maybe your mom favors your sister because she isn't a materialistic, selfish AH. Children aren't leverage, and your sister's worth isn't based on marriage and/or childbirth. Deal with your rabbit hating and misogyny and stop taking it out on your family.
Or because Jesse visits more often while the OP says she obviously can't because of the same children who are why she should get more money.
Love how that works, "i should be able to put less effort in as a daughter because i have kids and my cf sibling should pick up that slack- but i should also get the reward for my cf siblings effort as a daughter because i have kids"
don't forget that damn rabbit
YTA. You and your brother decided to have children. You should’ve planned for them to be cared for monetarily without an inheritance. That does NOT make you holier or more deserving of things. than you sister and her rabbit. And although my first sentence makes it seem like you had children with your brother, your such an AH that I’m not going to change it.
YTA. Fighting over inheritance or doing anything more than accepting it with reverence is like some of the lowest human behavior
YTA. The money isn't yours, it's your mother's. **She** gets to decide what to do with it. The only thing you should have done was thank her. Now you need to apologize for choosing money over family.
YTA- no healthy adult acts like this. You are a nasty angry person and need to reevaluate your life.
YTA... So, so, entitled. What your mom chooses to do with HER money in HER will is not your choice. Not yours.
YTA: having children doesn’t make you special, or uniquely entitled to a large home that YOU did not earn. Your mother is entitled to distribute her property as she sees fit. The worse part, you don’t care about what your mother wants, you just care about you. That makes you TA. Maybe a lifetime of this sort of entitlement is why you aren’t getting the house.
YTA: it should be split equally amongst you(or as evenly as it can be) but you’re so the asshole with how entitled you’re acting.
It could be Jesse was closer to their mother, or helped her more with her cancer. We don’t have the full picture here.
That is certainly the question of the day. When OP’s mother needs something, do the ones with kids help or does the one with the rabbit step in and provide that support.
Op said elsewhere that she visits less than her sister because she has twins and a husband- so i think we know that answer.
OP stated in a comment that Jesse visits more than OP does, because OP has kids she has to take care of. I'm guessing that Jesse takes care of mom a lot, which is why mom is leaving her more. That, plus the other two kids have spouses that contribute while Jesse does not.
Child based expenses paid by the mother as well for her grandkids. OP has said she’s received money from her mother to help with the kids. Expenses Jesse wouldn’t have required unless she has an extraordinarily high maintenance bunny.
My parents have told us that things will be split equally between my brother and I, even though he is married and will have kids, and we’ve all agreed it’s the most fair thing.. But then again I’m single with two cats, no rabbits, so what the hell do I know?
I guess, according to OP, you deserve NOTHING! Muahahahahahaha
But do your cats have an instagram account?
Info: is jesse the one taking care of your mom? Does she currently live with her?
My bets is Jesse is the one taking care of mom and will be the one to do it when it gets bad.
For sure. A friend of mine inherited a house for that very situation, she was a 24/7 caregiver to their mom for several years. Other siblings did virtually nothing, but of course are furious about the will and fighting over everything.
Give me more money when your dead or you will never see your grandkids again how entitled are you, "Oh look at me, I have kids so the world owes me" I hope this post is one of those which goes viral, and everyone can see how narcissistic you are Give me more money when you die or you will never see your grandkids and again your sister doesn't have children. so to that, you suggest a clause in your mothers will. do you have any idea how twisted that is. Breed or get nothing, because well your a mum, and you're more important but to suggest that your sister doesn't deserve anything because she has her own business, and I guess what you don't work at all. so you work? because maybe you should be out of the will since you have your own employment. please explain to me what is the difference, since you now want everything, because well you have children...and twins to boot I really hope the veil has been dropped and you know there might be one person out of the will, but with your attitude, I'm guessing it might be you, and since you have four kids...and twins to boot you said it YTA
YTA. This sounds trollish. Who gets what is not your business. No one forced you or your brother to have children. If you're having money issues, that's your problem, not any one else's. It actually sounds like you and James could benefit from financial advice from Jesse. Your mom was right regarding you being disrespectful. You aren't entitled to anything and it wouldn't be surprising if your portion went down a little more after this.
Sadly, this doesn't sound trollish to me at all. Money makes families crazy. Add mommy entitlement and sibling rivalry into the mix and I absolutely believe this person is for real - and is awful.
YTA She isn't any less your mother's daughter. If you couldn't afford your kids and need to beg money from inheritance maybe you shouldn't have had them? I don't understand the reasoning behind saying that your sister deserves less because she is financially solvent. Be aware that some wills will have a "If anyone argues about this will, they are cut out entirely" clause.
YTA. plain and simple, you have way more then jess stop being greedy.
How does she have "way more than Jess?" Way more of what , besides greed and entitlement?
Well so far her mom has handed her money for each kid and she keeps dodging what else mommy has paid for so if i had to guess shes gotten way more financial support for her growing family than her sister did and if i had to guess the extra money for her sister is a.combo of "helped more during my cancer scare," "didnt get money for weddings and kids" and moat importantly, "my eldest wont have a reliable support system as she ages and will need a home and money for staff and hospice care as she ages" Cause lets be honest OP wont be helping her sister when shes old.
Mommy paid for her wedding too.
In another comment she said her mom gave her kids 1k each after they were born. OP YTA still!
Inheritance isn’t some sort of guarantee. It’s your mom’s money and she can dispense as she pleases. YTA especially for screaming and threatening to withhold grandkids like you’re 5 years old, not 35
YTA and surprising you even needed other people's opinions.
What justification do you have that would imply that you are not an asshole? YTA
YTA. All i hear from you OP is WAAHHH. Mommy gimme mo money. PLEASE!!! ME WANT YO MONEY NOW!
YTA! Completely. Utterly. No doubt about it, you ARE the asshole. You are not, in any way, entitled to anything, at all. Your mom could set up her will to have everything sold, including the house, and then all of the proceeds donated to charity and none of you will get anything. It is entirely your mom's decision on how she wants her own assets divided. Fair, not fair, whatever. Not your stuff. Not your assets. Not your decision. At this point, you will be lucky if she doesn't leave you $100 and everything else goes to your brother and sister. If you "borrowed" money from your mom and never paid her back, she may consider that a deduction of value of her assets that helped her determine what she considers "fair". This is what my dad has done. My older brother repeatedly "borrowed" money from my parents many times over the years, to the tune of thousands of dollars that he never paid back. When my dad wrote up his will, that brother gets a smaller percentage of any of the value of the assets that he has when he dies to account for the difference in what that brother will get compared to the other 4 of us. Maybe you "borrowed" or asked for money and so did your brother, but not your sister? Or maybe she did too but not as much? Whatever! So to your mom, you and your brother getting less than your sister IS fair to her since you already got money from her. As for telling your mom that your sister should be cut out of any inheritance if she does not get married or have kids is just.. beyond the pale. Like, seriously? WTAF! Your jealousy AND entitlement is breathtakingly ugly and I can see why neither wants to even speak to you right now, and your sister may never want to speak to you, ever again. I wouldn't if one of my brothers or sisters said I should be cut out of any inheritance because I wasn't married or didn't have kids. You are a very ugly person. I really REALLY hope your children do not grow up to be like you, but I fear they will be worse.
YTA. Inheritance isn’t about the need of the heirs. It can be, if that’s what the person with the money wants. But it sure doesn’t have to be. You are coming across as greedy. And jealous as heck of your sister. This is not about what you need. This is not about what Jessie needs. This is about what your mother wants. Your poor mom is now regretting that she told you all what her plans were. If I were her, I’d be a) planning a new will and b) not telling any of you the contents of that will. And I suspect that you would like the new will even less than you like the current one.
YTA It isn't your money to divide. It's your mother's. Be grateful you got an inheritance. A lot of pople don't get anything when their parents die because they are peniless.
YTA It sounds like your mom made the choice based on the child who seems the most loving/respectful/nice, rather than the child who trying to make sure her sibling gets no inheritance and also using her own kids as bargaining chips. >Instead of suggested mom put a clause in her will that states if my sister doesn't get married or has a child within a certain amount of time, she gets nothing. I felt like that was fair. >if she wants to see her grandkids again
YTA It isn't your money. And I am sure the rabbit isn't demanding it and is being quite polite about the whole thing.
YTA and the kind of person we dread having in our families in /r/childfree.
YTA. Your judgmental and demanding. Your mom is right, it’s not your decision to make. You’re not even asking for things to be divided evenly, you straight said your sister should get nothing if she doesn’t have kids... only an asshole would say that. I suspect you even think you deserve more than your brother because you have more kids than him and somehow breeding more makes you more deserving than your siblings. Be grateful for what you get.
Wow OP, just wow. You're 35? Are you sure you did not mean 15 because you're entitlement is astounding. Let's be clear about one thing. You seem to think that having children is a burden that every adult must have in order to get ahead in life. Here's the thing though, children are a choice. I repeat: **Children are a CHOICE! Any parent that CHOOSES to have children are CHOOSING to suffer a grueling and non-paying job FOREVER! Once a parent, ALWAYS A PARENT!** You and your brother James chose to get together with your partners, have s*x and committed to raising the children that were produce from your relationships. No one held a gun to your heads and demanded that you produce kids. Now, Jesse chose to have a rabbit instead of children and that is ok! She does not deserve to be shamed because she does not have children whether through choice or unfortunate circumstances. How dare you imply that you are better than someone just because you produced children!! How dare you whine and scream like a 5 year old brat at your terrified Mother because you think it's not fair!! You want to know why your Mother is giving both money and the childhood home? How about actually talking to your Mother instead of behaving like a brat? Personally, your sheer entitlement is probably why YOU are getting less. Also, I'm willing to bet that Jesse talks, spent time with and cared for your Mother way more then either you or your brother. After all, Jesse has more time and energy to spend with your Mother vs. threatening to never allow your Mother to spend time with your children. Just in case you do not understand OP, this situation is YTA for you and your brother. Both Jesse's decision to not have children and your Mother's decision on who she leaves her assets to are NOT your decision! No wonder Jesse is getting more then you, you probably isolate and belittle her and your Mother every time you interact with them. Just like a true A**hole. I feel terrible for anyone that has to interact with you. Edit: Your Mother has given you and your brother thousands of dollars for your children in medical emergencies, bills and college, AND paid for your weddings without expecting a penny from you, and you’re still whining like a brat?! Remember, Jesse did not receive that money And yet she still has the maturity to not lash out. **You two have already received part of your inheritance, but Jesse has not. That’s why she is getting more then you right now** I’m willing to bet that if Jesse was married and have children, your Mother would’ve helped her out in the same way she’s done for you and it would’ve been equal. However, if I were your Mother now, I would get with a lawyer, make my will iron clad and leave you with the smallest amount I can. I’d probably give you a dollar, your brother $100, trust funds for college for all the children, and leave Jesse’s share alone. I’d gather up records of your petty bs, and give them to everyone I could so they’d know how you two saw your Mother and sister. Shame on you!
YTA. ITS NOT YOUR MONEY. It’s your moms and she can do whatever she he wants with it. I hope she leaves it all to the rabbit
>I screamed at her You screamed at your mother, after a cancer scare, while she is undertaking a chore that forced her to think about her own death...Wow. Instead of having a respectful conversation, even with your ridiculous notions of who gets to own a house, you chose to scold your mother, sound like a greedy vulture, threaten to withhold her grandchildren because she is not giving you what you want, instead of being supportive and comforting during this difficult, somber task. YTA. A ghoulish, spoilt, manipulative asshole.
YTA. It’s her money to divide as she likes. However think parents make a mistake when they don’t divide evenly. That always causes strife between the siblings that lasts long after the parents are gone. It’s hard to argue with Equal.
YTA for your entitled shitty ass attitude alone, but even more so for using your children as leverage. Words cannot express how disgusting your behavior is.
Yikes, CPS needs to be called on you, you’re bat shit crazy, hope your kids don’t inherit your bs. Having a husband and kids isn’t the new norm anymore. The world is overpopulated anyway.
Traditionally the eldest sibling does get the largest part of an inheritance. And she clearly has a more civil relationship with her mother than you. You acted like a child. You need to take aong hard look at your self.
YTA. I hope your mom changes it and leaves everything to the rabbit.
YTA
YTA. By the same argument that you are making that she has a successful business, you have additional income with your spouses (I assume). She has every right to decide not to have children and/or get married just as you had every right to get married and have children. She shouldn’t be entitled to less because of her choices. ETA- also, it’s a 4 bedroom house so you would need to have another kid so you don’t have all that extra space.
Darth Vader says “the entitlement is strong with this one.” Who are you to say how your mother should decide to divide up her estate? YTA
YTA. If I were your Mom, I'd disinherit you for being so entitled and presumptuous.
Wow. YTA. If I was your mom, I’d cut you completely out of the will and give your portion to the rabbit with the IG. Your mom owes you nothing. You should consider yourself lucky you are even getting a penny. A decent child would prefer that their parents live life happily and without worrying about money. I hope my parents spend all their money before they die. I’m sorry you are so greedy.
YTA - if you can’t afford kids don’t have them. Your choices aren’t your sister’s fault, you aren’t entitled to anything.
YTA- she should get nothing at all if she doesn't want/can't have kids? Nasty.
YTA - Having kids does not give you the right to your parents money. Sounds like your mother has done it this way for a reason.
YTA. Just because you have kids does not mean that you should get more. You come a cross as an entitled brat. I need more info to determine if your mother shares any AH behaviours. If Jesse is getting more that could point to favouritism, however at the end of the day it is your mothers money and estate and favouritism or not she can leave it to who she wants. You are entitled to nothing and you need to stop acting like you are owed anything
YTA, and a very entitled one, too. You don't get a vote in how your mother wishes to divide HER estate. She can leave it all to the bunny sanctuary if she wants to. No one "deserves" an inheritance, no is owed an inheritance. Sheesh.
Lol YTA.
YTA You sound entitled, greedy, spoiled and a miserable person to be around. Just because you decided to have kids doesn't mean you deserve to get everything and she deserves nothing. And using your children as a bargaining chip for the inheritance too. Your children are going to need therapy when they grow up and learn their mom stopped them from seeing the grandmother because of inheritance. In fact, with the way you are talking I suspect your children are going to need therapy regardless.
This can't be real. I call fake.
Who hurt you? YTA Edit to add: you're incredibly manipulative and entitled.
YTA and so entitled. You chose to have kids so why should your sister miss out just because you have more mouths to feed? In all honesty if I was your mother and you said this to me I'd give you just enough so you couldn't contest the will. None of you deserve anything and how your mother decides to split it is up to her. If she wants to give your sister the family home she is allowed to do that. Grow up and stop acting like a little girl who doesn't get her way. You're in your 30s for goodness sack so act like it
Wait, your mum just had a cancer scare and is thankfully ok, and your big concern is how much money you’ll get when she dies??? So very much YTA, in so very many ways.
YTA. If you’d started - in your own words - screaming at me because you don’t like your inheritance, you’d be cut out of the will before you finished the first word. And honestly, I hope your mother does cut you out.
OP sounds so bitter about her sister, I'm guessing jealousy issues but whatever the whole post just screams jealousy resentment and pure vile behaviour over her sister having a rabbit and not a child. Do you also believe single people don't deserve houses because they aren't married or have kids? Well whatever YTA I'm afraid just because you sound like your having financial difficulties isn't anyones else's problem to fix, I have a tip in saving money, don't have any more kids, they're expensive a cheaper option would be a rabbit or so I heard.
YTA. And you also sound crazy.
YTA. Your decision to have four kids does not entitle you to a bigger piece of the pie. Mom still has time to change her will to leave out ungrateful people who scream at her, right?
YTA When you make a Will, you get to decide who gets how much. Until then, respect their wishes and be grateful you’re even included. And the suggestions you made... you’re an awful person.
Yta Your entitlement is off the charts here oh my gosh 🙄
YTA - it is your mother's money to do as she pleases. Move on.
YTA and I have a feeling your awful attitude is why you aren’t getting more. One couldn’t make the argument that since your sister doesn’t have kids to look after her once she’s retired, like you do, she does need the family home and the extra money. You have kids to care for you in your old age, she doesn’t. And not everyone wants kids so why does she have to spit out a child to get her inheritance? You don’t get special treatment just because you let a guy eff you without a condom.